How It Came To Be
by heartlessromantic667
Summary: The Zen Master has a story of his own, one that has never been told. Starting with age seven, this is the life and experiences that sculpted Steven Hyde into the calm, cool and zen guy he is. Full summary inside with warnings. Rating T-M
1. Prologue

_**Full Summary: The Zen Master has a story of his own, one that has never been told. Just how exactly did he become this silently brooding, angry at the world, and apathetic (Yet really too afraid to show his emotions, and get attached to anyone) guy? Starting with age seven, this is the life and experiences that sculpted Steven Hyde into the calm, cool and zen guy he is.**_

_** Note: This does somewhat go against the plot that the show originally had, but that's why it's fan fiction. **_

_**Disclaimer: Throughout the story, as you figured, it will be quite dark, and rather graphic. There will be a lot of strong language, drug/alcohol use, and violent themes.**_

_**This prologue is a test to see how many readers I'll have, I'm weary of posting this, for many reasons. For one, I don't know how people will take it, it could go two ways. Also, the inspiration, other than the show itself, and my curiosity for how Hyde became "Hyde", it came from my own experiences... which is why it could get quite dark and all that jazz. I hope you do like this, and I'm posting it anyway. **_

_**Love,**_

_**ARH**_

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"You worthless disgusting bitch! Why the fuck would you do that you fat cunt?"

"Shut up, Bud! Don't you fucking touch me, you asshole!"

The sound of Steven Hyde's parents fighting filled his ears, their voices barely muffled by the paper thin walls of his small room. Their drunken rage brought them to this point; but he didn't understand that it was alcohol. He figured that it was all normal, that this was love, and all parents hurt each other, and their children. Steven didn't figure that he had a broken home, a dysfunctional family, and that these experiences would end up marring his views of life for the remainder of his time. The fighting, the screaming, the abuse, neglect and violence cast down on him as well as both of his parents would eventually drag them all down beyond hope, past help.

Steven jumped, curling in his bed when he heard a yelp and a sudden loud thump against the walls, close to his bedroom. He knew his father had hit his mom's head against the wall. They were struggling against each other, the battle inching closer and closer to his small, dingy bedroom.

His exhausted eyes glanced at the cheap black clock on his mattress- they were too poor for a nightstand and a bed frame for him. The red digits displayed it was 12:25 in the morning, the seven year old usually ended up dozing off at about 1:30. He didn't really understand why they were poor; he had seen the money his mama brought home, as she pulled the crumpled bills from her shirt. Steven also didn't understand why his dad needed to take shots in his vein every night, or why his mom liked this guy named Jack Daniels more than his dad. But most of all, he wanted to know why they paid no attention to him; unless it was for their "stress relief" as they called it to their "friends".

"No! Bud, leave Stevie alone!" Panic chilled Steven to the bone and he began to tremble through the dirty bed sheet, his only blanket. All he wanted to do was sleep tonight, it was his first day of school, back from Easter break, and he wanted to be rested. His eyes burned with sleep deprivation, as well as the heavy amount of smoke that always seemed to fill the house. He couldn't stop shaking as he heard his door open.

Steven's mothers wails grew painfully loud as the door banged open, smacking against the frail wall. His stomach dropped when his eyes drowsily met his father's, he could clearly see he was drunk, and very angry. Then he searched for his mom, only to find her with a bleeding forehead, curled up on the ground, breathing heavily as she sobbed.

Steven's breath hitched as his dad staggered towards him, eyes glinting with a mad rage, the smell of alcohol permeating the room. His eyes brimmed with tears and he pulled the sheet over his face as his dad unbuckled the belt from his jeans, snapping it violently.

"Steven, how many fucking times have I told you that crying is for fucking pussies?" Steven whimpered as his father roared with a slur; spit flying from his cracked mouth. He tried to blink back the tears, yet they only fell and Bud laughed, raising the belt he'd use as a whip, and lashed the seven-year-old's face. He stifled back a scream that caught in his throat; the pain shot through his face, the belt had clashed right below his right eye. "Shut up, you fucking brat! All you do is whine and cry, you're a pussy boy. You're gonna be nothin', we shoulda dumped you off in the cold like we were gonna." Steven just blinked, biting his lip furiously to keep quiet. The metallic taste of blood filled his mouth and he closed his eyes against the new pain. "One of these days-" Slap- "I'm gonna-" Punch- "fucking-" Lash- "kill you, boy!"

Bud grabbed Steven's shirt collar and tossed him off of his broken mattress, pushing the frail boy to the ground. Steven gazed at his father, confusion spread all over his face. What had he done to deserve this? Was this all his fault? His mom was long gone now, passed out from the level of alcohol running through her, and the pain. Now he was left alone with this drunk dad, who was in no way through with him.


	2. The Child of Burning Time

_**Author's Note: Every chapter will begin with lyrics in italics that fit the chapter (and the title of the song will be the chapter name). Not all of them will be from classic rock bands, but a lot of them will. This one is quite short, but the others are longer, this one was just sort of hard to write. I'm excited about this story, I hope you guys like it. Review?**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie. **_

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"_Before I tell my story, please consider who I am. I missed my window years ago; I'm doing all I can. A tragedy is commonplace, but in the end they go away. My skin is still the only stain I'm left to wear in shame. Inside the absolution, we succumb, and appetites are bittersweet: I think I'm going numb. A chance to give up, avarice has marked my one regret. The child of burning time is gone. He hasn't come back yet..."_

The small class was gathered in a circle on the speckled carpet floor, the second graders whispering to each other. The girls were giggling and gossiping, while the guys bragged and frogged each other. It was just like any normal day, minus the fact that they all missed each other, missed the room they were always gathered in, learning how to add and subtract large numbers, the capitals of the fifty states, and reading short stories. But today wasn't all about learning, which they were more than excited about; they got to share with everyone about their homework they were assigned on Easter break- what they wanted to be when they grew up.

Steven sat in his desk, staring at the clock on the wall, watching as the time ticked by, much too quickly. In just a half an hour, he would have to go home, and if it was like every other day, it would end up in disaster. But, he didn't want to join the others, he preferred the solitude, and having to get up as little as possible was great. His undersized body ached with each movement, and if he could keep mobility low, then he'd feel better in no time.

He dug his hand into his oversized hoodie pocket, feeling the napkin that was wrapped to cover three muffins. Also, a milk carton; he had to double check to make sure his backup dinner was still hidden, so he'd have it in case his mom was gone, or too drunk to fix him dinner. The second option seemed more likely.

He wore big sweatshirts for two reasons; one to sneak food home, and also it covered majority of his body. Steven never dared to take of any of his baggy jackets, because he had to hide the bruises, welts and cuts that distorted his body. The wounds on his face were harder to disguise, which is why the sunglasses were always perched on the bridge of his nose, hiding his eyes.

Steven watched his classmates, eyes full of wonder, his mind running with questions he wished he could ask. He wanted to know if they were also beaten or screamed at by their negligent parents. Steven had a hunch that egged him to believe that the treatment at home was in fact not normal, and inhumane, yet he wanted to make sure he wasn't a freak. Steven wanted someone to see his situation, the government to come by and take him away, into a loving home. With a mom who cooked homemade waffles, and a dad with a fine career, and maybe a couple of siblings.

"Steven?" Mrs. Briggs, his middle aged teacher called him gently. He snapped his head up, and gazed around wildly, in fear of missing something. "Come join us, please?"

All eyes were on the gaunt, battered curly haired boy who dragged his weak body slowly to the little group of pees. The girls stared at him, and then whispered secrets in their ears, and the boys through insults his way.

"Steven is a scaredy cat."

"Did you know he doesn't have a TV?"

"His mom was at my house the other day; I guess she's friends with my dad. It's gross."

"Sit down, loser!"

The boy curled his legs up to his chest, his head resting against his knee caps, his eyes averted to the blue and green speckled carpet. Anger roared through his blood and he had to stay quiet, had to block everyone out in the room, calm down. They didn't understand! All he wanted to do was scream at them, show them what he went through, yet they would all just laugh. So he trembled at the spot with his eyes closed, taking slow, deep breaths.

"Eric, what did you write for your job?"

"A jazz guitarist." Mrs. Briggs nodded, seemingly pleased with his answer.

"Pam? What about you"

"A dancer!"

"Timmy?"

"A reporter."

"Michael?"

"An astronaut!" Steven chuckled a little at that one. The boy looked like a nerd, he had to wear head gear for his teeth! But, he was so dumb, he probably though a cat was a dog.

Finally, Mrs. Briggs sighed, and turned to Steven, who didn't notice her gaze, as he was preoccupied with counting the green spots on the floor.

"Steven, what do you want to be when you grow up?" The kids in the circle started to giggle, minus a couple of them. He slowly glanced up, seeing Eric, Donna and Michael smiling softly at him, they were his only… 'friends'. The suggestions ran around the circle, jobs that seemed perfect for him.

"A trucker?"

"Unemployed?"

"Prison?"

His heart began to pound in his head, afraid to answer the question. He was terrified to answer the simple question, his answer so stupid, yet perfect for him. The class would probably just laugh and tease him more. All of the same treatment was cast upon him, wherever he went.

"Students, please be quiet? Steven, tell us all, it's okay." She coaxed him, trying to reassure him that it was okay to speak.

"I-I uh w-want to b-be…" He trailed off, as the class snickered at the stutter in his voice; it wasn't that he had a stutter problem; he just never had the chance to speak. Steven wasn't exactly sure how to speak, without interruption. "I wanna be… happy…"

Everyone was silent, eyes upon him, wide, no smiles upon their faces. He wasn't sure if it was a good choice-to tell the truth. He regretted his decision immediately, and should have said a doctor or something. Happy?

"No, Steven, I mean, a career? You should always be happy." Steven shrugged, staring at the ground, face reddened with embarrassment. There were a couple jobs he had thought about, ones being inspired by his grandparents, ones he knew he'd be made fun of for; a chef, or a writer.

"Entrepreneur." He mumbled quietly, pushing his sunglasses higher on the bridge of his nose. The boy glanced up and saw that his classmates were absolutely clueless, their expression priceless. Yet, his teacher seemed thoroughly interested in his choice.

"And what would your business be?" Steven shrugged with a scowl on his face, not really enjoying this sudden attention. He'd rather be in his desk, away from all of this, or even just in the back of the circle, hidden by everyone else, which wouldn't be that hard to do. He was one of the shortest in the class, and the tiniest. He blamed his mom for drinking when pregnant, and lack of food.

Mrs. Briggs took his unresponsive nature as a sign to move on, but was very impressed with Steven's knowledge. _'That boy is so bright, it's so sad about his lifestyle._' Was something most of the teachers passed on to each other.

Steven seemed to be the perfect boy, a prodigy with many talents. Though he was only in 2nd grade, the boy somehow was ahead in his education. He already knew how to multiply up to tables of 4, and all of the states' capitals, in order. He liked to draw, and he wrote fantasy stories about worlds that seemed like his perfect world, where he wanted to be. All the teachers knew he was going to be a very successful man in the future, if he continued to be on top of things. They could only hope he wouldn't fall into his parents' way of living, which in later years, would prove to be almost impossible as he'd grow older. They hoped that he'd somehow find a way to resist it all, but for now could only be happy with this kind and quiet genius, who didn't even try.

Steven once again turned his attention to the clock, half anticipating, half dreading the clock hands moving, the little hand pointed at the '3', the big hand at '12'. He'd be out of school, but he'd also have to go home, which almost sickened him everyday. At least he had dinner, in case his mom didn't prepare for him; which was more than likely going to happen.

Steven's stomach gnawed with an ache, as it growled loudly. He scrunched his face and clutched his abdomen, trying to stifle the sound. It was so hard for him to not reach in the sweatshirt pocket and eat the small collection of food, yet he had to save it.

Mrs. Briggs noticed the boy's sudden pained actions and sad eyes. For anyone, that boy's piercing blue eyes were incomparable, if his parents cared, he would be spoiled rotten with just a look. But, he was much too serious for his age. For instance, while at recess, instead of playing on the jungle gym, tag, or football, he slept, or doodled, sometimes ran lap after lap on the basketball court.

"Steven, may I please talk to you?" The 40 something year old teacher asked. "Class, back to your seats."

Steven glanced nervously at his friend, Eric Forman, who pointed to their teacher. He sighed, hanging his head low, eyes staring at the floor, ignoring the whispers of the children as eh walked out of the classroom. He was afraid of why he had been called, he hadn't done anything wrong. Of all the things he could have been blamed for, he had ways to get out of; the truth. The thought of his classmates lying and blaming him again for something he didn't do really angered him.

"Steven," Mrs. Briggs started, he eyed her cautiously, folding his hands over his stomach. "I hope you know you're a very bright, very good student."

"I… I didn't do anything, I swear!" Steven whimpered, she couldn't see his eyes with those sunglasses on. "Please don't tell my parents?"

Mrs. Briggs was confused. "Steven, is everything okay at home?" He bit his lip and nodded, hands disappearing in his pockets. "Are you sure? Your parents don't yell at you, or hurt you?" The suspicion of abuse passed through all of the teachers' minds, yet he seemed to be the type who would say something, not just hide it all away.

"N-no, Mrs. Briggs, everything's fine." She nodded slowly, eyes trying to see passed those sunglasses. He suddenly felt very cornered, his shoulders tensed with anxiety.

"Can you… take off the sunglasses?" Mrs. Briggs questioned, reaching towards his face, to point at the shades. Steven flinched violently and cowered, hands shooting up to his face, to either protect him, or the eyewear. A soft thud was heard, and he stiffened, slowly gazing towards the floor. As Mrs. Briggs looked to see one of the muffins hidden in his pocket, the bell rang. Steven, without thinking, ran out of the school, just dying to get away.


	3. Fist Wrapped In Blood

**_A/N: Second chapter, I have a lot of time on my hands today. I promise the third chapter is a lot longer than these ones. _**

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"_Finish me off, follow the plan, break all the bonds, sever the ties, and now your mission is complete; find and destroy me. Torturing me, with words from your lips, filleting my skin, pulling my teeth; please forgive me for not being good enough. My fingers are yours to cut off, and my bones are yours to shatter in pieces. My teeth are yours to pull out, and my soul is yours to slowly rip apart. I can't trust anyone I meet. From now on, my chest feels more like a fist wrapped in blood."_

"Shut up, you lazy ass fuck!"

"What did you just fucking say, bitch?"

Steven's eyes stung as the tears burned his eyes, trying to fall, yet he fought them back. He wiped at them, wincing as his hands brushed against the swollen areas surrounding his eyes. Nowadays, he joked, calling himself a raccoon because it was so dark, yet he did know how serious the issue was growing.

He was sick of hearing his parents fight, especially about him. He didn't understand what they argued about, or why, but it drove him insane. It was endless; they argued from the time he left for school, to the time he attempted to sleep. Yet, this was probably normal, all of it. He had heard other kids complain about their parents, and how unfair they were treated. So, this had to happen everywhere else.

He flipped open his book _"The Lord of the Rings- the Two Towers"_ and slowly, the yelling vanished, melted away as his mind worked the imagery that the book foretold.

Okay, he realized he was reading a very high level book whilst he was in the 2nd grade. But, he knew the words; he knew the numbers and didn't want to read _"The Cat in the Hat," _or _"The Boxcar Children"._ That wasn't interesting, they didn't know struggles. Plus it was too childish; the thought of him being a 7 year old and thinking a book made for his age group was childish also scared him a little. But, he preferred the adventures of elves and hobbits.

"STEVEN!" The boy tensed at his mother's harsh screaming, unsure what he could have done. Unsure if he wanted to step out of his room. He hesitantly flipped the book over and made his way from his tiny room, to the living room.

"What, ma?"

"Kid, on the phone." He tilted his head with curiosity. Who would call him? No one he knew had his number… he understood why that was. But, he'd never gotten a phone call in his life, minus his grandparents. Slowly he pressed the phone against his ear and asked, so softly, "Hello?"

"Hey Hyde!" It was Eric, "I was wondering if on Friday night you wanted to come over to spend the night. Kelso is coming over, also." Steven glanced at his mom, who was throwing a punch at his dad, only to be thrown against the wall, and decided that right now was not a good time to ask.

"Uh yeah, cool. You sure you want me to go? Were you forced?"

"No! Hyde, you're my friend and I thought it would be fun for all my friends to get together and spend the night."

"Okay, well, thanks Forman. I gotta go, see ya tomorrow." Steven hung up the phone, and began to walk back to his room.

"Hold it!" A pair of rough hands grabbed the back of his shirt collar, pulling him back to the living room. "What the fuck was that? You tellin' parents on me?" Bud curled his fist and swung hard against Steven's cheek. He cringed and shook his head.

"M-my friend-"

"You ain't got no friends, boy. No one wants to hang out with a fuck up mistake like you. So quit lyin' and quit tellin' people bout me hurtin' you!" Bud bellowed, after every syllable adding a punch, slap or kick to add more of a threat to the words, showing just the beginning of what could happen, what was going to happen anyway. He shoved Steven into his room, making sure he smacked against the wall, then slammed the door.

Steven crumpled to the floor, still silent, trying his hardest not to cry. If he cried, he'd get whipped, and last time he was whipped, last night he…. He couldn't think about it, wouldn't remember, wasn't sure if his dad had taken it too far or not. His breathing was shallow as he gasped for air, curled up in a tiny ball against the floor.

'God,' he prayed, in his head. _'Please help me? Please save me?'_

With a shaky hand, he reached into his pocket and pulled out one of the muffins. He nibbled some of the crumbs, but lacked an appetite, so he tucked it away in a Ziploc bag for later on. As of right now, the vision in his right eye was blurry, but that's because of the swelling. It would be absolutely monstrous now, just about shut and black, probably. His body ached, yet he fought off the discomfort and he slowly stood up.

All he craved was the comfort of his bed, with a broken mattress, and no frame or box spring. Yet, to him it was somehow comfy, and that's all that mattered.

"Ringo?" He called softly, patting the corner of his bed. A moment later, he felt a weight pull at the bottom of the bed and heard a _thwomp _sound. Steven grinned and embraced his German shepherd puppy in a hug. That thing was his only comfort, and was also his best friend. The puppy curled up on Steven's pillow, and licked the boy's face. He only smiled and petted the dog's back, before closing his eyes, letting his tears fall.

"Jesus tender, shepherd hear me, bless they little lamb tonight." He began to whisper the short hymn his grandma taught him to sing in hard times. In the next room, he heard muffled screaming, thumps, and shouting. "Through the darkness, be thou near me, kep me safe till morning light." A thud against the wall of his parent's bedroom, the dog whimpered and Steven snuggled the dog. "Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep." The sound of yelling continued, only for a different reason, as well as a continuous pounding of the walls. "If I shall die before I wake, I pray the Lord my soul to take." He smiled, that was his favorite part of the whole verse. Maybe God would answer his prayers, and just kill him already.

Steven rested his head against the dog, and burrowed deep under the covers. He curled up tight, trying to ignore the sounds from the bedroom to his left. The last thing he heard made him smile, a scream, and the sound of breaking glass.

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Hyde stared into the mirror in the elementary boys' bathroom, eyes widened as he stared at his naked face. No longer would he call himself Steven, he wouldn't allow his friends to, so why should he? He felt that something changed him last night, a part of him, the last of his innocence now gone, but he soon put that thought behind him. The bruises and welts on his face were much to noticeable now. What would he tell people? It wasn't like he could blame it on clumsiness, like usual. This was probably the worst it's been. Not only was there a large bruise across the right side of his face, but from the neck up, he had a long cut, and the fat lip didn't help.

He eyed himself, thinking of ways to cover this up, the story, that is. Hyde could only hide his body, his face was a whole different story. And he wasn't about to tell the truth.

Truth. That sounded really good to him at that moment. Just for a passing second, he could imagine his life without his parents. But what seemed even more appealing, was his parents in jail, getting the revenge for what they did to him. But, he realized it wouldn't happen, ever. They would never be sent to prison, for he wouldn't tell anyone.

Sliding the glasses on the bridge of his nose, making the result of violence a little less noticeable, Hyde pulled the large and thick navy blue hoodie close to him, warming him even more. With each step, his muscles retaliated, showing they were in pain by the movement. He could ignore it though, it would get better, eventually.

Dread clutched the 7 year old as the tardy bell rang. He was late for class, again; third time this week. It wasn't known if there was a punishment or not, but with his luck, he'd have to stay after school. Which would ruin his plans for going to Eric's house.

Steven took a deep breath and turned the door handle, puling it open as he announced his presence. He heard the whispering voices hush, and felt the eyes of his peers on him once more. Mrs. Briggs turned slowly, appearing slightly annoyed. But her eyes widened at the sight of him as he tried his best to hide the limp.

"Good morning, Steven. I'm sorry to inform you, but this is the fourth time you've been late this week." He just stood in front of the class, staring at her through the dark sunglasses. She looked scared. "And after the fourth time, you know what happens." His teacher spoke hesitantly, the students snickered.

"N-no I'm sorry, I didn't mean to I wasn't f-feeling good it won't happen again. I promise." His voice had a tone of despair in his plea. It wasn't because of shame or embarrassment that he begged to let this slide, then fight back. He just didn't' want any more pain.

He couldn't take anymore.

"Steven, I have to, I don't want to, but I have to treat all children equally."

"But this isn't equal! It's not fair! You don't know why I was late!" He clamped his mouth shut. But, she wouldn't listen. No one ever listened.

"Steven, no excuses, take off your jacket, please." Mrs. Briggs ordered, then Steven had an idea. Maybe he wouldn't get whipped, if she already saw all the bruises. Reluctantly, he unzipped the sweatshirt and set it down on the empty desk next to where he was standing. His teacher looked at him as though he were standing naked, the purple, red, blue and brown tints his naturally pale skin had taken shocked her. But, she had to follow the school rules, she couldn't show any of the other kids that she would just let them go. And though it pained her to torture this child even more, she shook her head.

As she pulled out what looked like a riding crop, he smirked. His parents had one of those, and he had a strange suspicion she took it home with her. But when he saw she wasn't going to answer him, not going to spare him this pain, he trembled.

The tears stung his eyes as the whip slashed against his skin. Right on a very painful bruise on his back. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut. His classmates were all silent; in fact the only sound was the belt clashing with his skin. No one had never _not_ cried while this happened, he did know that, but this didn't hurt as much as what he usually went through. No use crying. 'Just seven lashes' eh thought, reassuring himself. But as he saw his classmates eyes, full of shock, he knew what was running through their minds. They weren't quite sure how he could handle this.

"Are you okay?" Mrs. Briggs asked him, concern in her voice. He just glared at her and nodded slowly.

Hyde staggered to his desk and wrapped himself in the sweatshirt. Teachers were supposed to help, not harm. Was all the world out to hurt him? Were they trying to kill him? What had he done to deserve all of this? He was just a kid! These thoughts passed through his mind, as the boy felt anger and hatred rise, but he wouldn't show it. Never.


	4. Wild Child

**_AN: Hope you like this chapter. Told you I'd be updating regularly. This one is a lot tamer than the first chapters, I don't think there are any disclaimers I should announce. _**

**_Thanks go out to HydeLuver and nannygirl for reviewing, kind words appreciated. =]_**

**_Hope you all enjoy this one!_**

**_Love,_**

**_AH_**

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_Wild child full of grace, savior of the human race; your cool face. Natural child, terrible child; not your mother's or your father's child. Your our child, screamin' wild. An ancient lunatic reigns in the trees of the night._

Since the first time Hyde went to Eric's house, he hadn't been there. But, even walking with his 'friend' to help Eric avoid Donna, and ending up taking a bubble bath with him, it would be so much better than home. Even the bubble bath part.

"And remember, it's not Steven, its _Hyde_." Eric nodded as they walked up the front porch. Eric was so excited to have two friends over at his house, he just knew they'd have so much fun, he, Hyde and Kelso. Who knows what the three could do? They'd just have to find out.

Hyde stepped into the Forman's home and suddenly felt very uneasy. It was large, and absolutely spotless, and the air was fresh and clean. Unlike his house, which was filthy and falling apart, with the potent scent of cigarette, cannabis, and alcohol forever tainting the air. He decided maybe tonight wouldn't be so bad, and took off his holey shoes by the front door, and Eric smiled at something behind him.

"Eric, Steven! I'm so glad you guys are home! How was your day? Are you both excited?" Kitty Forman hustled into the room, grinning and kissing her son on the cheeks. "I was just about to make dinner, but I figured I should ask the first guest; Steven, what would you like for dinner?"

Hyde felt caged with overpowering nurturing. What was this about? This couldn't be like all families, no way.

"Yeah, Hyde, it's up to you. Guests always choose."

The boy thought awhile, pondering on this choice he could make. What would he choose, what sounded really… really good? Anything, really.

"Peanut butter sandwiches?" Mrs. Forman laughed nervously as a sad smile spread on her face, her hand rose to pat the boy on the shoulder lovingly, he flinched and cowered. Mrs. Forman's smile faltered as she noticed the boy's instinct, but wouldn't bring anything up; she and Red suspected it anyway. Didn't everyone?

"Oh honey, that can be a snack! What do you want for_ dinner?" _Eric's mom question, the boy smiled sweetly. She watched as he just shrugged, head lowering, and realization hit her. _'Maybe he only ate peanut butter sandwiches for dinner; it would make a lot of sense.'_ Kitty decided. The poor boy was so thin, and looked so weak. And he had very odd… shadows on his face, that she knew weren't from the _bike accident_ he had reassured her son a week before; too fresh. Well, he did live with Edna and Bud Hyde, after all. _'Oh, poor baby,_' She thought, eyes watering as Hyde gazed around the house his eyes wandering in awe.

"You mean-" Hyde paused, "I get more… I get to… choose?" Kitty had a feeling he meant something else within those words. Her heart nearly broke, as she tried to shake off the sick feeling she felt, knowing how damaged this boy already was.

"Yes, sweetie, all guests get to choose; it's your honor." After seeing the grin on his face, she knew she had done well. She cast a side glance at Eric, and he looked confused; her poor son was so naïve… but she wanted to keep it that way, as long as she could. And maybe there was still hope that Steven could remain a child, rather than skipping these innocent years to go on to more… mature things.

But the only thing on Hyde's mind was the thought of warm fresh food piled on glass plates, just lots and lots of food. Things he had never eaten before, or rarely ever had popped into his mind, what he had during holidays when he saw his grandparents. Honey ham, smoked turkey, pork chops, hot, homemade bread fresh from the bread maker, it all made his mouth water and stomach growl impatiently.

"Chicken?" He asked nervously, instead of a slap and a sinister laugh that mocked him, Mrs. Forman just nodded with a bright smile.

"How does fried chicken sound?" She suggested, he nodded vigorously and she chuckled. "Now, anything else with it?" When seeing Hyde's jaw drop in shock, Kitty realized that she'd just have to make up the rest on her own; the thought of just chicken being a feast for him upset her. How had Steven Hyde been raised? She only scoffed at that, knowing exactly how that boy had been raised, it was obvious; just look at the skin and bones, marred with bruises and cuts! "Why don't you two boys go play outside?" She tempted them, Hyde turned to Eric, who gave him a look back. Hyde shrugged.

"Whatever," he mumbled, still feeling out of place. 'The Forman's must be rich,' he thought, gazing at all of the new furniture. If only he had known it was 10 years old.

"Uh… can we play inside? I don't want Donna to… bug us." Eric murmured to Hyde after his mom left the room. Hyde just shrugged his shoulders, not really caring what they did, as long as they did something. Eric took that as a yes, and bolted up the stairs, Hyde slowly following behind him, trying to ignore the photographs of the Forman family that lined the stairway walls; it made him sick.

After reaching Eric's room, the two boys threw down their bags on the clean carpeted floor. Hyde was in even more shock when he finally took a look at the room. There was so much space, and he had so much random junk that wasn't necessary for happiness. Who would fill a whole bookcase with action figures and stupid dolls? Or line the top shelf connected with the headboard on his bed with trophies and awards? God, this kid was a baby.

But, Hyde also knew deep inside that what he thought wasn't true. Forman was a normal kid; with a normal family. A loving family. He was in slight denial that he had a messed up family, and if he told people, it would just screw up his life even more; he didn't want that. Forman seemed spoiled rotten, yet Hyde reminded himself that the most expensive thing his parents had ever bought for him was Ringo, who was $10 bucks off of his uncle.

He wasn't going to let the silent jealousy effect his time though. Hyde was secretly so happy that he was invited over; he wanted friends, he wanted to get away. So, he sat down next to Eric on the floor, where the two friends began to play tons of games. From board games like Checkers and Candyland, to card games like Go Fish and War, even I Spy and 20 questions. You could say that these two were having a great time, laughing and enjoying themselves. And Hyde felt a part of him melt to his actually age, and the happiness that warmed his heart, he knew he'd never forget.

Eric did know Hyde came from a bad family; he didn't know how bad the situation was, but that it wasn't good. At all. He had talked to his mom about his friend the week before, and all she had suggested was inviting him over whenever he wanted, so he could get away. Of course, Eric wasn't supposed to know the _real_ reason why his friend needed to stay away from his own home as much as possible, but he had heard his parents talking that same night. And the bruises that seemed to be his natural skin tone also proved the point. Eric also wanted Hyde to see a good family, he really needed that. He was Eric's best friend, and he wanted him to be happy. The only thing he couldn't wrap his mind around was why Hyde's mom didn't love him. Who couldn't love their own children?

"Boys! Michael is here!"

They each heard violent footsteps pound against the stairs, and Kitty mumble inaudibly in a flat tone. Eric could only guess it was something about 'not running in the house.' He glanced over at Hyde, who had somehow changed from lying down on his stomach to curled up in a ball, eyes wide.

He was waiting, just waiting for that door to burst open, to see a drunk and angry Bud, glaring at him. Hyde could almost feel the pain and smell the alcohol, and he winced as his mind played out what happened most nights. Was this ever going to leave him? He even jumped when the door did slam open, not noticing Eric's questioning look, as Kelso stood in the doorway. Hyde laughed quietly at himself, feeling stupid for reacting like that. His parents didn't care; they were probably out drinking, they probably forgot they had the living mistake.

"Hey guys, let's go outside! We could find a dog and play Frisbee with it!" Kelso chirped, quivering with excitement. The boy was a very hyper, obnoxious and oblivious kid, who didn't really like to wear pants. He was already a major flirt, and Hyde was surprised he considered him a friend, yet Kelso was funny; weird, but funny.

"I am not playing Frisbee with neighbor dogs," Eric whined, Hyde smirked and slipped on his sunglasses.

"I have a suggestion," He chimed in, both of his friends turned to him, and saw the mischievous smirked; the one that they would always know in the future as the 'Hyde- Up to No Good' smirk. "Let's build a fort."

The three boys grinned brightly, and before you could say their names put together, they fled down the stairs, knowing that this fort would turn into a full fledged WWII reenactment.

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"Boys!" Kitty called from the screen door, at 7:30, three hours later, as she peered into the dimly lit early night. "Dinner's ready!"

Kelso, covered in mud and grass stains, scrambled out from underneath one of the hedges, screaming his surrendering war cry as he bolted into the house, eyes permanently widened with that goofy gaze.

Eric crawled out from under a picnic table, and wiped off the dirt that had gathered on his jeans. He chuckled when spotting Hyde, perched happily in a tree, with a stick in his hand.

"Hyde, are you having fun?" Eric asked as the curly haired boy crawled down from one of the taller branches, and hopped down from the first limb. Hyde smiled widely and though Eric couldn't see his eyes, he knew they were probably just as happy; good.

"Yeah, thanks Forman." Hyde mumbled, checking his elbows for scrapes from the tree as they both walked inside together.

"Oh my," Mrs. Forman sighed as they made their way into bright kitchen. Eric widened his eyes innocently, and Steven just smiled, she regretted having a soft spot for innocent looks. "You boys are all filthy. As soon as dinners over, you're all going to take showers, okay?"

"So sit down and eat quickly, I don't want my dinner ruined with your dirty faces."

Hyde tilted his head and felt a sickening squeeze at his heart. He turned to see Red Forman, Eric's dad. Those words he had heard before; and his breathing picked up. But, once he saw the humorous glint in Mr. Forman's eyes and a soft smile, he knew they were okay; he was just joking. He thought.

Hyde sat in between Kelso and Forman, and as Kitty scooped food on his plate, his eyes bugged out even more with each scoop, as well as his mouth opening in an 'o' form, in total awe. The aroma from the fried chicken, the warm, homemade mashed potatoes, corn, and hot doughy rolls filled his nose, and his mouth watered with hunger. His stomach growled intensely; Kitty laughed softly at the uproar, and patted his shoulder when she saw his cheeks heat with embarrassment.

He watched, and as soon as Eric began to eat, Hyde took a bite out of his chicken. Instantly, his taste buds popped. Nothing had ever tasted as good as this it seemed; at least anything he's had in a long time. Not only because he was starved, but he had heard rumors that Mrs. Forman's cooking was absolutely incredible, and those rumors were right. He figured that she could make microwavable hot dogs a real treat if she wanted to; not to sound like a suck up.

He didn't notice that he wolfed down his dinner, a little too quickly. He wouldn't miss the chance to fill up, as he didn't know when the next time he'd be able to would be. He didn't see Mr. Forman's disapproving gaze, or Mrs. Forman's glare at her husband, telling him to look on and ignore it. All of them were in a conversation about school, except for Steven of course. Like, they were talking about this science project that every class had to do. A science fair with awards and posters and stuff that he didn't really care about, or even like. So, he stayed quiet and munched happily on his excess amount of food.

"-Hyde's project is awesome though!" Hyde glanced over at Kelso who kept on talking, Kitty eyed the silent boy with curiosity.

"What is your project about?" Kitty questioned him.

"I'm testing if caffeine effects the growth of plants." Kelso answered, proud of his experiment, and thinking Kitty had asked him. Hyde tilted his head and rose an eyebrow, a smirk playing on his lips.

"I thought you were testing that on mice?"

"Well, yeah, but I fed one of them soda, and the next day it-"

Hyde burst out laughing, and this wasn't just a normal soft chuckle of his. This was, full fledge laugh attack, almost giggling, gut wrenching, eyes watering, snorting laugh. Soon, after hearing this contagious laugh, Eric, Kitty and Red began to laugh as well, leaving Kelso confused. "What's so funny?"

Hyde took a deep breath, laughed a little more, the grin never leaving his face. Kitty silently noticed how the boy's mood had changed.

"Kelso, you don't… you don't give mice or any rodent soda." He answered, Kelso had this 'I don't get it' look all over his face and Hyde sighed, glancing at everyone. Kitty and Eric gazed at Steven curiously, while Red just smiled; Hyde had a feeling that he knew the answer. How could anyone _not_ know?

"Uh… why not?"

"Because the carbonated water in it will blow up its stomach, they can't release gas, so it just stays in the stomach and then it blows up eventually. My cousin fed his rabbit Cola, it wasn't pretty." Kelso's eyes widened and he gasped, trembling in his seat. Kitty looked surprised, and Eric grinned. Hyde wasn't so sure he should have told these two what really happens to them….

"That… is so cool! No wonder it just sort of flopped over!" Hyde shook his head and smiled softly, taking a bite of his buttery dinner roll, sighing with content. He was, for the first time ever it seemed, really happy.

"Steven, you never did tell us what your project was about." Mrs. Forman stated, he just shrugged and stared at his near empty plate amazed at how much he ate, or was able to eat, anyway.

"It's sort of like Kelso's original thing, but it's different." Hyde mumbled, playing with the frayed ends of his sleeves with nervousness. "The idea is to test two mice from when they're first born, to 6 weeks, and see if taking care of it and loving it will have change how it grows. Nothing special."

Kitty was amazed; all they had Eric do was see how much heat was absorbed in different colors of clothes for his project. Then she had another thought; her Eric, and his friend Steven, were like the mice; one was raised well, the other neglected. What if he was trying to speak out? But, all she did was smile at the curly haired boy, who smiled back, and reached to take off his sunglasses.

Hyde's shades had a smudge, and at first, he had ignored it, but then it became more prominent, and more annoying. He had been having such a good time, that he paid no attention to the soreness in his face, or the rest of his body. In fact, he had forgotten; until he heard a gasp. When Hyde glanced up slowly, he saw Mrs. Forman with widened eyes, staring at him in horror. As his face gave a dull throb, he immediately remembered that he had a couple of mean black eyes, and fearfully placed the sunglasses back on.

All of them had seen his face. Kelso appeared confused, Eric felt a little sick; he had a feeling that Hyde's parents did that though. Red and Kitty looked very disappointed. At him? He questioned, how could they be disappointed in him? He had done nothing wrong. Why was the world so judgmental to him, they wouldn't give him a chance to speak.

"Steven, how did it happen?" He fought to find an answer, after all he did want to speak; he racked his brain for something good. Hyde couldn't tell them, he just couldn't admit that he was abused, that his family life sucked, right in front of this amazing family. It would bring him total shame.

"I don't know," was all that slipped out from his mouth.

After dinner, Kitty, being a nurse, ended up checking the bruises and the scratches on his face and body. He noted the look of horror and disgust as she saw the welts, burns, gashes, and bruises. Even bite marks, for God's sake, and those he wouldn't talk about. No matter what. Then, she left him alone, to take a shower.

This was all too much for him, he decided. This was too much to handle; were the Forman's usually like this, or were they just being nice? Did they actually care? Eric had a great mom, and as Hyde thought that, a wave of burning emotion washed over him comparable to anger, like acid compared to the warm water drops pouring onto him from the shower head. And he felt the all too familiar sting on his eyes, and knew it was okay; he was alone now. No one could see the 7 year old fall apart.


	5. Paranoid Eyes

**_AN: I've been updating this a lot lately. I'm glad things are going that way at least... I hate making people wait. This chapter is also quite short, and it's pretty mild, and I wanna know if you guys like the conversation that takes place later in the chapter... that was my favorite part of writing this. (It's my thought on how they grew so close) Hope you all enjoy this!_**

**_Love- ARH_**

**_PS: There will be tons more updates after next week because I... WILL BE ON SUMMER VACATION! Woot! But until then I have 3 projects and a final test... so if the end of the week/beginning of the week there aren't many updates, blame school. Cuz all the updates will be in my notebook. =]_**

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_Button your lip; don't let the shield slip. Take a fresh grip on your bullet proof mask, and if they try to break down your disguise with their questions, you can hide behind paranoid eyes. You put on your brave face and slip over the road for a jar, fixing your grin as you casually lean on the bar, laughing too loud at the rest of the world with the boys in the crowd, you hide behind petrified eyes, behind blue and mild eyes_

The plans to camp outside were rudely halted when a thunderstorm reigned the skies. It was chilly, the winds gusting, making the windows rattle under their forces. Thunder boomed violently, shaking the three story house with its rage, and lightning clashed, lighting the sky with jagged streaks.

So, instead of a fort outside; they had rebuilt their ultra mega camp in the basement. It ended up covering a lot of the floor, with two layers of blankets on the floor, so that Hyde, Eric, and Kelso wouldn't freeze against the cement ground. There was room for probably three other people than them, four if they huddled, which they wouldn't end up doing. Mrs. Forman had popped home made popcorn, as well as freshly baked chocolate chip cookies for the three boys; for when they watched movies.

They lay on their stomachs, heads propped up on their bent hands as they watched Alfred Hitchcock's "Psycho", something Red and Kitty didn't know they were watching. Eric had suggested it, yet was now hiding under blankets in complete horror; but Kelso and Hyde wouldn't allow him to watch the film; both were used to these kind of things by now. Kelso, coming from a family with 7 siblings, it was easily suspected he saw more mature things than most kids; and Hyde just grew up off these kinds of things.

"This has been fun," Kelso declared, tossing a piece of popcorn in his mouth, yet before it felt anywhere near him, Hyde tilted his head, and ended up catching it in his mouth. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled smugly at Kelso before throwing four pieces at his friend. Eric nodded, playing with a warm cookie; too nauseated to eat it.

"Yeah, it has, but this movie is so scary." Eric whimpered drowsily, he didn't want to sleep though. Hyde smirked and grabbed one of the cookies off of the white glass plate, chewing on it happily.

On the outside, Hyde looked happy, even on the inside, a part of him was happy also but, he also felt like drowning. In his heart and mind, there was a whirlwind of emotions, that seemed to pull him down and sometimes it grew hard to breathe it seemed. He was so confused by what he had been a part of tonight; Eric's parents didn't fight, in fact you could easily tell that they loved and cherished each other. Forman was their pride and joy, he was raised to be the pampered, naïve child, he was raised right. An empty despair clutched at Hyde's chest and he fought off the tears as they brimmed his eyes.

It was finally right in his face, and he had to accept it, and try to change it. That his situation was by far, not normal, and that he needed to get out. But no one would believe him, no one ever did believe him; they always said it was his fault somehow, and he couldn't go through that again. Maybe someday things would get better. Maybe. Maybe Bud would leave, and his mom would actually love him and nurture him like she should. Like Kitty did for Eric.

Envy burned like wildfire through his whole body, yet he just didn't understand it. This was one of the feelings that confused him most; this almost anger towards his new friend. The other was loneliness; a sick sad feeling that gnawed at his stomach and chest, leaving an awful, continuous pain that felt a little like hunger, but for a different kind of nutrient. Hyde just simply wanted to be loved. Was that too much to ask?

Kitty and Red seemed to care about him a lot. He didn't want his friend's parents to pity him. They have him this weird feeling; it must have been trust, or admiration. Somehow, Forman's parents had accepted him, for who he is and where he came from, which was even more than his own parents would do.

Hyde's thoughts trailed to a dark stop somewhere in a corner of his brain, where he kept everything. It burned, it made him angry and hate and all he wanted to do was scream whenever he ventured into this area of his mind, that's why he kept it shut. He kept all of the past insults and memories that had scarred him, right there in that murky corner. The voices of everyone who influenced him echoed loudly in his mind, etching deeper and deeper into his skin, engraving it into ever thought, the ache of it all washing over him. Why here?

"You'll never amount to anything."

"I should have dumped you off a long time ago."

"You're never going to make it."

"If it weren't for you, I'd be rich."

"I'll be surprised if you live to 16."

"You'll always fail; no matter what."

"Why try? You can't do a fucking thing right."

"I knew you'd turn out ugly, just like your father."

"You're a stupid, lazy, good for nothing pussy boy."

"Try harder, you'll make it."  
"You're a bright child, with extraordinary talent."

"I wish more students were like you."

"Such a sweet boy, don't you think, Red?"

"You're gonna be someone someday."

"God, I regret meeting your father, you both ruined my life."

"Just give up. No one loves you. No one ever will."

In his mind, all of these played on repeat, each time he heard the words, they carved deeper into his skull, a permanent mark that would remain no matter what. The last sentence haunted him the most; his own parents admitted that of all people, they didn't love him. That no one would or could ever love him. Maybe he wasn't deserving of love and compassion, he must have done something wrong. It was probably his fault, he ust have jinxed himself somehow.

It was branded in his brain that he was a lost cause; unwanted, unloved, that he was disgusting, a disgrace, and would always be a useless failure taking up too much space. Always in the way.

Hyde whimpered at the thought, but it all had to be true. He glanced at his watch that ticked quietly on his left wrist; 11:14. Then he took a look at his two friends, who were now sleeping soundly next to him, and he wondered how they could fall asleep so early. Or was this normal?

He tried to swallow his deep feelings away, yet the lump in his throat was too strong, and made it dry. It had to have been from crying. God, he was a pussy boy, just like his dad said. Hyde angrily kicked off the warm sleeping bag and wriggled out of their heat absorbing fort.

Without his sunglasses or sweatshirt, and the mind to remember them, he silently tip toed up the stairs. Though he didn't know where the wooden steps would creak, the 7 year old had great footing, all of his steps were silent as he crept up to the main floor. If he didn't learn to be so quiet, how would he get food? Hyde still made no sound as he crept to the kitchen, cautiously pushing the swinging door open. He didn't want to wake anyone, or get yelled at for being up so late.

"Steven, sweetie, what are you doing up so late?" He jumped when hearing Kitty speak, so softly. Hyde saw her staring at him again. "Honey… this was no bicycle accident, was it?"

What? What was Mrs. Forman talking about? Hyde was once again confused, until he glanced at his hands. His heart skipped and he grew clammy when feeling a nervous, cold sweat douse his body. He felt lightheaded and terrified as he was confronted with the truth, without his sunglasses. So, he shook his head, trying to fight what he knew was inevitable; she could see right through, see right in his eyes that always told the truth. He would try his best to not let her know of what happened in his home. No one needed to know, it would just bother people, and he deserved it; for some reason.

"Steven, Steven? How did you get all of these… bruises and cuts, really?" Kitty's voice trembled as tears sprang into her eyes. He just shrugged.

"Bike accident, a car hit me."

"Why didn't you go to the hospital?"

"No insurance, Mrs. Forman," Hyde murmured, "barely have enough money for rent but... we manage." He forced a smile, Kitty sniffled and wiped at her eyes.

"You're so grown up for age, you know that right? I bet half the stuff Red and I talk about, you understand, right?" He chuckled and nodded, not sure if what she said was a good or bad thing. The way he looked at it was a good thing; learn young, don't make mistakes. "Your parents should be proud." Kitty saw a flicker of emotion in the child's eyes as she mentioned his parents. Instead of speaking, Hyde just shrugged, but she looked into his eyes, he was trying to avoid any eye contact. She saw exactly why; those blue eyes held secrets and heartache she had never seen in a child's eyes, _she_ had to look away.

"Mrs. Forman?" Hyde finally piped up, his voice timid.

"Yes, Steven?" She replied, having a feeling he would open up, and tell her the truth. He just had to. She did know what he had really gone through, had a very strong feeling there was a heavy amount of all kinds of abuse going on in his home, it was revolting to think about what he may go through. And that boy needed to open up! Her mind began to travel to how they could help him; Steven could live with them!

"I'm a little thirsty." Was all he quietly croaked, her face lowered in disappointment.

"Well, I'll go make you some hot cocoa, but then you need to go to bed, mister." Hyde smirked and shrugged, his signature moves, following her into the kitchen with his head lowered.

'A sign of no confidence,' she thought, sighing sadly as she dug in the cupboards for ingredients.

"Mrs. Forman, I'm sorry. I can just get some water and go to bed. I didn't wanna bother you." Kitty laughed and poured milk into a small stove pot, to warm it for the cocoa.

"Sweetie, it's fine, you deserve this treat." He smiled softly and a thought passed through each of them, different. Hers cast worry in her heart for him, wondering how he would be in the future, if he was so sad now. His about if he really did deserve anything of the sort.

Hyde yawned and propped his head on the table with his arm. It was weird; he was never this tired so early. Maybe they drugged the food and drinks, so everyone would always fall asleep early. Or, maybe that was his paranoia talking; maybe he was at peace, and felt comfortable and unafraid, which would ease him into relaxation and drowsiness. That scared him.

Mrs. Forman soon handed Hyde a mug of steaming hot cocoa, rich and very sweet, yet so soothing. They sat in the living room, and she found herself having a serious conversation with a 7 year old. She wasn't sure if this was a good thing or not herself, but it did amaze her.

Reluctantly, after taking one last sip, Steven's eyes fluttered shut. He was really tired, but his last thought was feeling awful about falling asleep, whilst talking to Mrs. Forman. But he just couldn't help it.

"-And then Eric ju-" Kitty paused, turning to see the boy curled on the couch, head resting against her arm, mouth open slightly as he slumbered. Her heart melted when seeing how peaceful and content he looked, and she wondered if his mom ever did this for him.

'Of course she didn't, it was _Edna_! And the…bruises…God that poor child!' She thought, motherly instincts kicking in.

Deep inside, she knew all he wanted was someone to love him, and to just comfort him. Maybe for a little while, she could pretend to be his mom. Kitty Forman smoothed his curly hair back, and he snuggled against her in his sleep, she couldn't hide her smile as she patted his back.

"I should probably take you down, so Eric and Michael don't wonder why you're up here sleeping, rather than with them, huh?" Kitty laughed quietly as she talked to herself, meant towards Hyde. Then she stood up and placed her arms on his back, and the back of his knees, unsure of how much heavier he'd be than Eric; it was so hard to lift her baby boy nowadays. She bit her lip and prepared for a slight struggle, but was shocked at how light he was instead, and as she walked to the basement door, tried to ignore the protruding bones she felt.

Kitty carried Hyde down the stairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. It must have been another one of her suspicions, yet she had a feeling that he would be mortified if his friends found out what she did for him tonight. She didn't want that to happen, so she lied him down on the couch, unable to put him in the fort that they had made. She didn't think he'd mind much; it was much comfier. Kitty gathered two blankets for Hyde to use, as well as a pillow. Smiling as she watched him snuggle the pillow, she tucked him in and kissed his forehead.

'Such as sweet young boy,' She thought, arms full with the popcorn bowl, and the plate of cookies as she hopped up the stairs, not before checking on all her boys. All were safe and fast asleep.


	6. Cries In Vain

**_AN: These next couple chapters will probably be quite a bit shorter than usual, and I know that the next one puts a lot in also. I apologize for how short they are, and how much things skip; I'm just really excited to get to the older years, plus I wrote them under stress and while under my sleeping pills. So, I hope you can bear with me, and I know these next couple of chapters probably won't be favorites lol, and I apologize. _**

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_Has no one told you, your cries are all in vain? And everyone keeps trying to take that all away, Has nobody told you when you look away; the stories they told you still run through your veins?_

Hyde whimpered when spotting his dad's rusting old Buick pull up in the Forman's driveway the next day. He felt embarrassed when seeing his parents strung out and ratty, with a filthy and decomposing car that stuttered as it was parked in this modern, average area of town. Where no kinds of people, like his parents or him would ever be seen. The last place he wanted to be was anywhere near his mom and dad; last night he had nothing to fear. But, he had to go with them, he couldn't impose.

He hugged Mrs. Forman goodbye, a silent thank you for him, she saw what was hidden between the simple gesture, and smiled at Forman and Kelso, while saying goodbye. It wasn't like it was his choice that he had to leave, but on the upper hand, he found out they were going to his grandparents house. It was rare that he ever got to see them, and he loved his grandma and grandpa so much; they were incredible.

"You can come over next week if you want, Hyde." Eric chirped, making Hyde smile. He glanced to Eric's mom, and she nodded happily.

"Okay, thanks Forman."

He felt a firm grip on his shoulder, fingernails dug into his shoulder. Instantly, dread flooded through him as the scent of smoke, sweat and alcohol radiated from his dad. Hyde didn't miss this; the feeling of loathe he felt, but now he had to grudgingly welcome it with open arms.

"Because of you we're late to your fucking grandparents house, boy." Bud growled, shoving Hyde toward the car, who was too embarrassed to even make eye contact with his friends or Mrs. Forman. He ran quickly to the piece of shit car his parents were proud of for some reason, and his dad 'helped' make the process of getting in the backseat of the car easier, by pushing him in headfirst.

"Bet you had a good time away from us, right? Well, you're gonna regret it ever happened." Hyde would never trade last night in for anything. His parents could rob him of everything else, but the memory of the day before would never leave him.

Hyde remained silent, staring out the window, his eyes glued to the Forman's house. His heart ached as he longed to go back, and to get away from his parents, but he knew that was impossible. He was stuck in a car that was falling apart, with his family, which was in worse condition than the car itself. And when his father struck him for no reason, the boy didn't even flinch, or cower, his eyes just shut. So, he couldn't see his best friend's mom in their front door window, eyes wide and mouth gaped at what she had just witnessed. Hyde saw no point in resisting or to show any signs of fear; he was forever braced, forever tense.

He gazed behind him, watching as the Point Place city limits sign grew less and less visible. A sick feeling waved through him as he was forced to venture out of the city. Was this homesickness? His index finger traced the window, trailing down the water streaks from rain. He could only see the clear trails, because of the mud that flecked the grimy car windows.

Hyde had an idea, as he watched the average family cars, and the fancy Lincolns pass by him. Through the mud, they couldn't see him; the people couldn't laugh, insult him, or hurt him, because they couldn't see him. But, he could see them. He took a glance down at his lap, his dark tinted aviator sunglasses resting on his leg. Hyde had only used those glasses to hide bruises, but they could work even better for hiding his emotions. His eyes always played vulnerable, showed how he felt, no matter what, and he couldn't let people see that any longer. So, he slipped the glasses on over his face, and stared out the window again. Losing himself within his mind as he was carried, drifting towards sleep, it seemed to be much easier to ignore his parents 'fun time', and could now sleep instead of suffer.

He dreamed of a bright, happy future. His parents being like Mr. and Mrs. Forman, no, they would be the Formans. He would get equal praise, and be best friends, Hyde would be the coolest guy in school. He liked this world better than reality; in his mind, he was somebody, he had a purpose. But, in the real world he would never amount to anything.

Pain erupted on his face, and he suddenly jerked awake. His dad stood over him, he still reeked from poor hygiene and the substances he used.

"Get your lazy ass outta this fuckin' car and put a fuckin' smile on your face." Hyde glared at his dad, through the sunglasses and smirked softly. This was really working! After unbuckling his seat belt, he climbed out of the poor excuse of a car, and smiled weakly. The small cottage-like house was one of his favorite places to go to. It was in the country, but really close to Kenosha, within walking distance, even. His grandparents had a garden, and a flower nursery, and even had a pond in their backyard; it was so peaceful.

His grandpa, Arnold, and grandma Jean were two of the kindest people he would ever know. They loved Hyde so much, hated the fact that his parents never let them see their only grandchild, Hyde hated it too. He always felt so safe here; if only his grandpa knew what his daughter's husband did to him.

But, what if they did know? What if the Forman's knew? And teachers. What if the whole world knew? He could live how he wanted to! Yet, people didn't even try to save him, they just let the secret tortures continue. Didn't they know it could kill him? No one cared though, no one ever did; not one person. Maybe it wasn't there fault though; maybe they were being forced to just stand by. Maybe the government was prohibiting any form of help to him; were there other kids like him?

"Stevie!" Hyde smiled and was squished in a tight hug his grandmother embraced him in. She was very short and petite, and not as old as most grandmas, but his mom was only 25. He felt just as safe as he did at the Forman's right now, and he just held onto his grandma tightly, afraid to let go. "Steven, you've grown so much!" Hyde nodded, and felt a pair of strong arms lift him into the air.

"Grandpa!" he cried happily, wrapping his arms around his tall, happy grandfather. But, Steven noticed something different, a looming sadness hovered over the older couple as they gazed at him. He glanced into the car, saw his father shooting heroin up his vein, his mom smoking a cigarette. Hyde sighed sadly, feeling his stomach drop a little, and turned away from his disgraceful parents. He wondered if his grandparents knew about what kind of activities his mom and dad took part in, or if they knew how bad their situation was. Seeing the look his grandma gave his grandpa, he had a feeling that if they didn't know; they unraveled the secret.

"We have presents for you sweetie, your birthday present; we got it for you a month ago, hoping we'd see you on your birthday. But now you're here, and that's all that matters!" Grandma Jean exclaimed, carrying the small boy inside.

Hyde almost started crying in happiness when he saw the inside of the house. This home was his favorite place, it was even better than the Forman's; since they weren't family. He sat in between his grandparents on the couch, who he knew would protect him from anything.

"How's school, Stevie?" Hyde shrugged, playing with his sleeves again.

"It's okay. I'm gonna play baseball again." His grandparents' eyes lit up with joy and he smiled, they looked so happy. Was it him?

"Oh, honey, we're so proud! Tell us when your games are, I promise we'll go watch you, like last year." Hyde beamed, remembering the first year he played little league, and his grandma made the whole team homemade donuts to help give them support; and to treat them. They had lost by two points against Kenosha White, but his grandparents made him feel all right about it. Unlike his dad, who after beating him for poor play, vowed he'd never attend the games again, 'after seeing my pussy of a son embarrass me.' But, it had been his fault; he accidentally dropped the pop fly.

"Okay," Hyde answered, watching his grandpa fiddle with his gold pocket watch. "Can I see that?" He asked, Arnold chuckled and nodded, tousling the boy's curls.

"You're gonna be a fine man, Steven. Don't let your… don't let anyone tell you differently." Grandpa Arnold told him. Hyde knew what he really meant; don't let your parents tell you any different. He smiled softly and acted as though he didn't see his grandfather wink at his grandma, who quickly shuffled to what he knew was his mom's old bedroom.

"In honor of your belated birthday, we are giving you your present now, will your parents care?" Hyde shrugged. They probably wouldn't notice a present that he got, they didn't even notice his birthday, or even him, unless they wanted to vent.

"We know you like music, and you always loved mine, so happy birthday, Stevie."

Hyde turned and a grin fell on his lips; an acoustic guitar. When he was 6, his grandpa began to teach him how to play a few chords, and now, a year later, with the help from one of his mom's friend's daughter, eh could play pretty well. But, he never imagined owning a real guitar. Now he could be like Jimi Hendrix, or even better! He hugged both of his grandparents lovingly, and they requested him to play a few songs. Hyde thought awhile, then began to strum "I've Just Seen A Face" by The Beatles. The peppy rhythm always made him warm inside, and as Hyde glanced at his grandpa and grandma momentarily, their eyes shone so bright as he played that piece, as if it were his own. They beamed with pride as he finished the song, they had all sang along as well, which made it even more fun, and Hyde knew they were thinking of each other as they harmonized.

Hyde set down the guitar, and heard a creak on the wooden floor. He bit his lip when seeing his mom standing in the doorway, and handed his guitar to his grandpa, afraid.

"Steven, that was… good." The way his eyes lit up when hearing that compliment from his mom; it sparked a whole new flame of emotions. Shock was the biggest one.

"Listen, mom, dad… Stevie… I gotta tell you something." Edna Hyde began, walking timidly to her happily family members. "I'm pregnant."


	7. Howard's Tale

_**Disclaimer: This one has a lot of violence, and a lot of strong language.**_

_**AN: This one is a lot longer than I thought; I'm glad, I added a lot and I think this makes up for the previous chapter being so short. Though, it does skip around a little. Hope this... I dunno. It's really dark. Hahaha.**_

_**Love,**_

_**AH**_

_**

* * *

**_

_"Age five just a little boy shy is he ready for the big surprise; he'll be playin Lego in a dream when the shadows come to life. Age nine well he should've been fine with a secret he's sure to keep; two times and he'll tell a little lie for the sake of him and me. Now it's over; I need closure. Hey, look what you did to me; when you were taking me home getting me stoned leave me alone! I waited for mom to comfort me, but when i opened my mouth; don't say, nothing, shh…"_

The shock ran through Hyde's system still; even a month later. He spent his tie fearing for the new baby, and how it would affect him, and playing the guitar. The abuse his mom endured from his dad now switched to him; it had gotten to the point he threw up blood, his skin almost raw, and always purple from bruises. But, he carried on as he always did, going to the Forman's as much as possible.

Hyde sat in his desk, anxiously awaiting the bell to ring. They were all turning in their science projects, he had to part way with Benji and Frankie after getting the final grade, which was something he wasn't looking forward to. Then, he had to run to the ball park, for their first baseball game. He was so excited, his grandparents had promised they'd be here, and he wanted to make them proud again.

Hyde stood up, after some of his classmates stepped away from the project table, and carried the two small cages to the designated spot. He said goodbye to them as he set the plastic homes on the table, and sighed. Hyde heard two people whispering in an argument, and stood still; listening.

"No, Kelso, don't touch it! I don't wanna get in trouble!"

"Eric, it's fine, just put it in!"

It was too late. Hyde reached out his hand to stop his best friend from ruining Timmy's science project. The sound of glass braking filled his ears, and everyone silenced, heads snapping their way. Eric and Kelso stared wide eyed at the floor, horrified at what they had done. Hyde was frozen, mouth gaping slightly, arm still outstretched.

Mrs. Briggs rushed over; Hyde realized Timmy was crying over his demolished project. The other students were whispering to each other, trying to figure which of the three it was. Of course, they probably blamed him, his frozen action proved it to be most likely; yet it was wrong. It didn't matter though. The three friends stared at each other, the same thoughts running through their whirling minds; what was going to happen?

"Who did this?" Their teacher asked loudly, everyone could tell she was furious.

Eric and Kelso were trembling on the spot, Hyde's heart was beating rapidly.

Eric couldn't take the blame for this, he would cry and whine, and embarrass himself. He just didn't seem like the type who would do something like that, which actually he did do it. But seeing Hyde standing there, everyone had a good feeling they knew who it was. Kelso, stupid and very clumsy, yes, could do something like this, but all odds pointed to Hyde, as always. And he had a strong feeling that telling the truth wouldn't help him this time. They were too weak; they would probably faint if they had a splinter in their fingers. What would they do if they were _whipped_? He knew what he had to do.

"Mrs. Briggs I'm so sor-"

"Eric, what are you talking about? I did it." Hyde interrupted his best friend, whose eyes bugged out of his head as he spoke. Forman shook his head, but Hyde could tell he was relieved, and Kelso smiled weakly at him, his apology.

"Steven, why would you do this?"

"Accident. I… uh was setting my project down and it bumped Timmy's. I'm awful sorry, man." But his project was nowhere near Timmy's, in fact, they were on the other side of the table.

"Liar! You're angry 'cause I called you poor!" Hyde shook his head; knowing his whole world was going to come crashing down, he just had a bad feeling about this.

He stared at Mrs. Briggs who looked like she was having a war within herself. Probably trying to figure out what to believe; but he knew his story didn't match up, it was obvious. He'd take the blame though, for his friends; it's what friends do, right?

"Give your project to Timmy, Steven." Hyde's lip trembled as he heard his teacher give him his consequence. No… this was his story, this was about him, and his environment. She couldn't take that away from him, it just wasn't fair! His heart ached as he gazed at the two mice; one of them zipping around its cage with some lettuce in its mouth; the other lying down in a corner. They understood him.

"Fuck you." Hyde growled, the whole room gasped; Steven was officially gone for good, in his remains… Hyde. A Hyde.

Something inside of him was tripped, his teacher had taken away all of his hours of feeling like he was doing something right. Just like his parents told him. He wasn't smart, not a prodigy, a good for nothing waste of space; he shouldn't have listened to anyone else except his mom and dad, as they knew what they were talking about. Why did people try to push him to be something great? Something that wasn't in his blood; he just couldn't do it, it wasn't meant to happen.

Then it happened. Mrs. Briggs slapped him hard across the face, before she had thought about it, or he had time to realize what she had done. It had been in her instinct, it was meant for him; abuse. The whole class was silent as this scene played out before them; a teacher and the weird poor boy, hurting each other, physically and verbally. Eric and Kelso looked sick. Mrs. Briggs noticed how the boy didn't flinch under her inflicted pain, in fact, he just stood his ground, body tense in defense. Hyde reached up and took off his sunglasses that purposely hid his eyes, exposing cuts, scars, bruises, but the worst were those blue pools. Mrs. Briggs covered her mouth as she gasped, and Hyde smirked. His eyes, once a pale, sky blue, were almost a murky gray, dull and almost dead, holding no emotion. What had become of this boy?

"Sorry, it doesn't hurt me anymore." Hyde snarled as the bell rang, the kids zipped out of the room faster than lightning, leaving the two alone. Swinging his messenger bag over his shoulders, he chucked his lab notes in her direction.

"Steven, I-"

"You never understood, never could quite get it, did you? Now you see it's too late." He interrupted, concluding her thoughts, and as he walked out, he ignored her terrorized expression as she realized what he had turned into. A stone.

He was right. Everyone had been too late; he had just given up. He had been contemplating on surrendering and giving in to his parent's ways, or to fight still. This had proved what he needed to do, what his life had planned for him. No one had ever cared, no one had tried to help him. To the world, he was just lying filth, somewhere deep inside of him, he knew this was going to happen. He was just tired of rebelling against his parents, trying to be something he wasn't made out to be. Something better than them; it was in his blood, and he couldn't fight any longer.

It made him sick. His thoughts blinded him as he ran straight, as fast as he could, to the ball field. All he wanted to do was run, away from everything, away from everyone, all of the pain, and never look back. Hyde was careless now; he was a 7 year old who decided his whole life in a moment. The ache in his legs and lungs felt perfect to him; he needed some form of discipline, some form of pain. What disgusted him, was, he craved the beatings… he felt like he deserved them, now more than ever. Was that supposed to happen?

He was angry; all the time. At everything in the world, and at everyone. He hated the world, and all that it had to offer. Why do well in life, if you're going to die? Why not have fun? The world was his biggest enemy, all that thrived on it, pawns to drag him down and kill him. This was all his fault; because he was born. There was no God, either, if there was, all of his prayers would have been answered. But, like everything and everyone else, God had deserted him, neglected him, and allowed the boy to be beaten, slashed, and fucked around with until all he wanted was the pain. Steven Hyde had an epiphany; he realized that in this world, he was alone. He was born alone, and he'd die alone. He'd always be alone.

As he reached the ball field, the crowd barely noticed the small curly haired boy walking to the dug outs. They didn't know of the thoughts running through this child's head, and if they did, he'd be sent away. They didn't know that a mind as young as his could have such deep thoughts, thoughts that even they had never had. And Hyde scanned the crowd for two people, searching for their smiling faces. But, his grandparents weren't there. Of all people, they had promised they'd be there, and yet, they deserted him, left him with false hope; well not anymore.

'Figures,' he thought, ready to scream at the world, ready for his life to end. He didn't want to live anymore; he was sick of the world and its injustice. Well, he'd get revenge.

Hoping that it would relieve some anger, Hyde practiced batting with strength he didn't know he had. He kept swinging harder and harder, pretending he was hitting the Earth, his dad's head, his mom's head, Mrs. Briggs, beating anything and everyone that had ever hurt him. He was too emotional right now, and he had to find a way to calm down, he couldn't play like this. But, maybe anger would be their advantage.

The game began, the air warm and sticky, the sun had started to set as the first crack of the bat was heard. The Madison badgers were always a tough team, Hyde remembered them from last year; and if it weren't for Kelso, they would have lost. His heart was pumping violently as he anticipated his turn at bat. The Vikings were doing really well, they already had two players on 2nd and 3rd base, and two points, by the time he was up at bat. But, they also had two outs. As he stood at home plate, waiting for the tall, stringy Madison pitcher to chuck the ball, he tried to block out his thoughts and mind, tried to concentrate on the game; it was the only important thing right now.

"Not good enough, never…-"

"STRIKE!" The crowd roared in anger, booing at him and yelling at him to actually attempt to hit the ball. He was the best at getting out; he knew that.

"Failure, disgusting…" His eyes blurred and he grew light headed, stomach contorting as he felt nausea overcome him, he trembled.

"Strike two!" The audience groaned and he turned, through tinted eyes he saw them shake their heads and look away, too afraid to see this mistake make a mistake. Well, he wasn't going to do that. He wasn't going to get out. God dammit, not if he could load the bases at least.

The pitcher grinned and mouthed 'out' to Hyde, yet he only gritted his teeth, a low growl deep in his throat. He wasn't settling for nothing. So, he swung the bat as hard as he could, all of his anger poured out of this movement, hoping he had swung at the right time. He heard the loud smack of the ball against the wooden bat; and he bolted straight for first, watching his team mates scramble to the next bases. The ball zoomed into the outfield; another base. He actually almost got to the home plate, until the catcher tagged him, causing him to get out. At least he had gotten two other people to score though. The Vikings cheered as he dragged his body back to the dugouts, panting, and scanning the crowd once again, trying to locate his grandparents. Setting himself up for a self beating again. They were nowhere; they lied to him… they left him, he closed his eyes as he let this fact consume him. Of all people….

Hyde doubled over into a coughing fit, his lungs and throat gasping for air, water. He lurched forward, acidic bile rising in his throat, and he threw up; he made himself sick. All of the lying, the excuses, and false hope that everyone brought him; this is what he was turning into. This is what the world was doing to him, and no one even cared. It disgusted him, yet he realized the only people he could depend on to be themselves, to be honest with him, wee his parents.

"Oh, honey, are you all right?" Hyde lowered his head in shame, throwing up again as he heard Mrs. Forman ask him, so sweetly. How could he have forgotten…?

* * *

"He's stressed and so am I, please, Bud, leave him alone?"

"Fuck off, you stupid whore!"

Hyde smiled, staring at the stick and lighter in his hands. He had seen his parents do this so many times; he'd probably be a pro. He stuck the joint in his mouth, and lit the end, inhaling the herb. Hyde coughed a little, but breathed in more and more, before slowly exhaling. It burned his throat, but after three more hits, he felt tingly, and very airy; more relaxed than ever before. He lied down on his bed, and stared at the cracked ceiling, laughing hysterically at nothing. No wonder his parents did this; it made him feel great! It was as if he really was free, flying on a cloud. No, he _was_ a cloud.

The 7 year old took another drag and sighed contentedly. All of his feelings seemed to blow away in the billows of smoke. This was perfect, he new a friend that he could depend on. Hyde just didn't care anymore.

He heard his parents screaming at each other, but couldn't comprehend what they were saying. He was innocent again! They were probably arguing over how much his mom could drank, and he honestly didn't care. If it killed that child inside of her, good; Hyde didn't want another child to have to go through with living this way.

"Go in there, Bud! I _know_ he is! It's your fault!" Hyde dropped the joint, mouth wide open in horror; how did his mom know? She didn't give a fuck about him, _ever_. In fact, his mom should have been _glad_ he was turning out to be more and more like them.

Without any warning, the door to his room slammed open, and Hyde saw two Buds; the more the merrier! Then, they molded into one; the fury in his father's eyes was petrifying. Normally, he would have hidden, but now, he just lay there, staring with glazed eyes and a half smile.

"You little fucking bastard!" Hyde didn't even react to his father screaming at him. He was used to it, he was calm. It didn't matter anymore. He watched with hazy eyes as his father approached the mattress, his belt in his hands. Hyde could faintly hear his mom weeping. _'God, why did she care so much?'_ "Trying to be like your great dad, huh? You're a dumb fuck!" His dad began to lash him with such force, such anger, but he was too phased out. He could feel it, yes, but it wasn't half as bad as usual.

The beatings grew more and more, Hyde wasn't sure if he was screaming, or if he was laughing or crying, he just knew that someone was. He wasn't sure if the red spilling was from him, or from his dad. He knew his body was contorting and crying out with pain, but inside he was numb. Even his eyes burned and felt like they would pop out. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, but he could hear and feel. So much heat, so much that it almost scalded him. There was a warm, coppery tasting liquid in his throat, he knew it was his own blood, and he couldn't swallow it down. He could hear his mom screaming, and pounding, was that his head? Or was that the door? The wall?

"Tonight boy," Bud roared, slitting his son's naked chest with his switch blade, Hyde gasped in pain. "I'll make you bleed, more than ever." The knife sliced his face, from his jaw to his cheek, and he jerked away, eyes watering and wide, with a frightened, almost crazed look.

"Mom," He whispered, blue eyes meeting blue as she covered her mouth, shaking as she ran out of the room as it tore through.

* * *

Hyde trembled still that night as he sat catatonic in his room. His mom had come in after, actually showing she cared a little about him, and it sort of creeped him out. He remembered her, hours before, after Bud passed out, she came in, crying. His mom had held the bloody mass of her son in her arms, and pleaded to someone for 'her son' to be okay. Or maybe he had been high and imagined it all.

He hadn't move at all, or spoken since after she left his room, cleaning him up very cautiously, unsure of how bad the cuts would be. His body burned and was so swollen, it felt like an 18 wheeler had run over him as it traveled 70 miles an hour, and thrown him off a bridge. But, at the same time, he felt like a rubbery Jell-o mess, with shocks of sever pain shooting through him every so often. Even his breathing was ragged, his rib hurt something fierce.

What was happening to him? How could he just give up, and let his genes play out his life? He was better than this, he didn't want to be like his mom, or especially like his dad. But after tonight, he wasn't sure if he could fight it anymore. A sinking despair filled him as he realized he had to make a decision. Hyde could fall into the choices his parents made, into this life that was molded for him. Or, he could tread into the new, become his own person, raise himself off of nothing, try to be someone. It was impossible, it was- Hyde's thoughts broke as he heard his parents fighting cease.

"Fine, just go! Fuck you, Bud! I don't care!" One final scream from his mom, one more door slam, then all was quiet in the rented home of the Hyde's. The boy blinked and remained still, no thoughts or emotions running through him. Was this what he wanted to be? Or did he want to make a better life for himself?

With a shaky start, he stood up, only to double over in pain. He decided what he was going to do, as he limped towards the door.

"Ma, what's going on?"


	8. Missing

_**Author's Note: Okay, I had a little time today, and I have time tomorrow to post; my mom is allowing me to stay home to study for one final test and to catch up on a couple of projects for school, so I'll be spending some time on here. I am making some changes to the order of the chapters, there will be two more consisting of the days following this, then one about the end of the school year, then it basically continues as normal... but there will be some extra chapters rather than the few chapters I told you about that are scattered over a few months time, to give more information and yeah... more chapters= yay! Well, here is the latest, hope you enjoy. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie. **_

_**

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**_

_Please, please forgive me, but I won't be home again. Maybe someday you'll look up, and, barely conscious, you'll say to no one: "Isn't something missing?" You won't cry for my absence, I know - you forgot me long ago. Am I that unimportant...? Am I so insignificant...? Isn't something missing? Isn't someone missing me? Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me, not now. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't something missing, isn't someone missing me?_

Months dragged on, life slowly grew better. Edna Hyde began to actually care a little about her son's welfare, and provided him with more than he had when Bud was around. Which was a lot, for him at least. Hyde felt that the life he had was a luxury; they had a color TV, he had dinner, warm water for showers, and they even got him a new bed, with box spring and frame. But also, they had to find a place for the new baby to go, and it ended up that Hyde had to share a room with his newborn brother.

He was a little excited to have a sibling, but was also terrified. He didn't want the little squirt to have to go through what he did; he wouldn't let that happen to his baby brother. Hyde also had a feeling his mom would go back to her old ways after the baby was born, and he knew that once she did go back, a new 'Bud' would be around, and he'd go through the torture all over again. He didn't want to adapt to his new mom, the slightly caring woman who had replaced the heartless whore his mother was; because he knew this sober woman would immediately change as soon as she could. It's not that he didn't like having his mom around, he just didn't want to admit he did, he didn't want to admit he wished his mom cared about him. Because he could tell she did, when she wasn't intoxicated, at least. It would kill him all over again to lose this person he had somehow grown to care for, that his mom would leave him for her own happiness; downing a bottle of Jack and shooting up.

But she hadn't. Even two months after she had Christopher Hyde, who had actually been a healthy infant, she was still there. She still loved Hyde as she did before Chris came along, and after Bud left. And Hyde felt that he was on top of the world, for the first time. That things could be alright, and that his mom would eventually gain his trust, and she'd always be there.

Things had improved greatly. His grandparents had helped them buy a new car, because Bud took the rusting Buick. They had a new station wagon, with a working heater, and a working radio, Hyde absolutely loved it. Their house looked quite a bit nicer in appearance since Bud left; Hyde wasn't embarrassed to have his friends over, which they did spend the night a few times. And to top it off, they sometimes even went shopping… for fun. Like tonight.

"Steven, there's a reason why I had us all go out tonight, it's sort of important." He heard his mother say as he drummed along to The Rolling Stones on the dashboard of their car. He didn't want to know, he just wanted to have fun. He was in a new jacket and a pair of jeans, and it felt great, so he wanted to show off. Chris gurgled in the backseat, sleeping in his baby carrier, which made things even better for the now 8 year old.

"Why's that?" Hyde chirped, as they parked at The Sizzler, Hyde's eyes lit up as he gazed in the windows at the restaurant. They hadn't been here since he was 5, when his grandparents came down. Edna sighed and smiled sadly at her son, and ruffled his dark reddish brown curly hair.

"I want you to meet a friend," But the way his mom looked, he knew better. This was no 'friend' friend, this was a _boy_ friend. Hyde's stomach twisted and he smiled feebly, trying to control the trembles in his body. How could she have found someone so soon? What did this mean for him and Chris? Was this guy nice? Did he have a lot of money? Or was he even worse than Bud? Hyde wouldn't refer to Bud as being his dad, he didn't think he deserved the title, and ever would.

"Uh okay…" He mumbled, unbuckling his seatbelt, momentarily peering in the restaurant windows, unable to see anything but outlines of people, before he reached in and grabbed his baby brother. Edna made Hyde carry Chris a lot, if it was in his arms or his baby carrier, she just wouldn't do it. In fact, it was usually Hyde who took care of the infant.

The family of three walked into the steakhouse, and was instantly led to a table. 'The guy must have been there, there was a really long wait last time I was here.' Hyde thought anxiously, glancing around the dark tinted atmosphere; low beam lamps that descended from the ceiling were seen hovering above the maroon booths and their lack of light gave the crimson walls a darker appearance; Hyde liked it.

Then he saw him; a tall, rather muscular, or quite overweight (Hyde couldn't tell) guy, with dark blonde hair and a flannel shirt on. He looked rough, and gave Hyde the creeps, and the suspicion he was just like Bud.

With eyes hidden behind sunglasses, Hyde watched his mother grin like he had never seen, run up to this stranger, and kiss him on the cheek. He watched the man's hand grab her backside and she giggled, it disgusted the boy, and thoughts of dread ran through his mind. What was so important?  
"Steven, I would like you to meet Joe. Joe, this is my son, Steven, I was telling you about him. Steven, I know it's hard to understand, but your dad left, and I was getting lonely being all alone-"

"But you had me," Hyde murmured, "and Chris." She laughed softly and the man now known as Joe smirked.

"Yes, but… it's not the same." Hyde knew what she meant, was slightly disturbed, yet a little hurt. Yeah, he was her son, but couldn't she be happy just with him? Why did she need a fuck buddy? He nodded and bit his lip, adjusting his arms under the baby's weight.

"Son, just think of me… as an uncle." Hyde nearly through up at that, what the man just said didn't make him feel any better.

"Yeah…" Hyde watched Joe take a gulp from a mug, he knew it was beer. This night was not going to end well.

Hyde sat across from his mom and Joe who he tried to ignore, Chris was sleeping soundly in his carrier. For the first time in a long time, Hyde was scared for his home life, for his family; for himself. How cold this guy he had just met a few minutes ago be so committed to his mom?

He wished he didn't understand. He wished he was naïve and actually believed Joe and Edna were just friends, like Eric would have.

'I'm just a kid,' he thought. Yes, he was, but he knew Joe would only be around for a couple of weeks. Until the sex wasn't fun anymore, and then his mom would only feel the happiness from the bottle of a bottle and a good lay; she'd forget about her son once again. Like he told himself when she reassured him she did care. Deep inside, it killed him to watch his mother slip away so quickly from the two people she should care about the most, the ones who need her more than anything and anyone. Him and Chris.

Hyde watched the mother he had begun to trust melt away with this strange man with distaste, and hidden eyes that burned. He just needed to find a way to get away, the lat place he wanted to be was here; with them.

As the waiter brought their food, Chris woke up and began to wail. Hyde glanced at his mother, who had her eyes closed, mouth parted slightly. His stomach squirmed, when after taking a quick look at Joe, knew exactly what was going on. Now Chris seemed like a great excuse to escape from here. With the portable bassinet in hand, Hyde made his way to the restroom to change his brother's diaper. When he entered the room, he walked to the makeshift baby changing station and received weird glances from the male occupants exiting the lavatory. Hyde shrugged it off; this happened a lot, and he was used to the strange looks. He figured they were surprised to see a young boy change a diaper, surprised that a young boy knew how to do so. It shocked him sometimes as well.

It sort of scared Hyde that he was so important for Chris's survival. That he had to take care of a life so helpless, and that he was once in his brother's place. He didn't understand how he hadn't made it, unless when he was nothing but an infant his parents both cared; that didn't seem likely. Yeah, their mom cared, but she never knew what to do, she was never there; it was always put on Hyde to figure everything out for everyone, and do the things his mom should. There wasn't much he could do about it, if neither his mom or him would take care of Chris, he'd end u dying, and Hyde wasn't about to let that happen. So, he'd continue taking care of his brother, and ignoring the odd looks sent his way.

After checking to make sure Chris's clean diaper was secured, Hyde tucked the infant in the bassinet, tossed the dirty diaper in the trash can, washed his hands, and sighed softly, staring in the mirror. Through tinted glasses he could barely see his tired eyes, and the bags that outlined the dull blue pools were hidden as well; it was for the best. There was a scar still on his cheek from the knife his dad sliced against his face; it would fade away in a couple of years. He had to forget about the past, and deal with the here and now; how was he going to go back out there when his mom and her new 'boyfriend' were fooling around? He'd have to sit there for hours on end, mentally kicking himself and fighting off his gag reflexes whilst sitting with the disgusting couple. Yet, when he arrived at the table, he found Styrofoam boxes stacked, and the couple handing the bill back to the waiter. When his mom saw him, she looked scared, a little shocked, and Joe looked slightly annoyed. They were leaving so soon? He hadn't even eaten.

"Steven… we were… uh… just about to go get you to tell you we were leaving. What took you so long?" He could smell the alcohol on his mom's breath as she spoke slowly, to hide the slur in her words; his face fell as disappointment and anger clouded him. It hurt him to realize his predictions about his mom were more than true, they were right in front of him.

"I was taking care of your son," He growled menacingly, she sighed and smiled weakly at Joe, who patted Hyde's shoulder. The 8 year old flinched and cowered, suddenly feeling really uncomfortable around his mom's new 'boy thing'. "Where are we going?" He asked quietly, as he looked back at the restaurant he hadn't been in for more than an hour. This was really weird, he had to admit.

"We need… we want to go to the mall really quick." Hyde raised his eyebrows.

"I wanna get your mama a present, son." Hyde just scoffed and lowered his head, face and body boiling with anger. 'This asshole had no right to call me son,' Hyde though furiously, trying to hold back his rage by biting his lip. The taste of copper filled his mouth, he winced as he licked the left side of his bottom lip; he made himself bleed.

Hyde sat in the backseat of the station wagon when he saw Joe was going to drive with them. Why couldn't he just go in his own car? He made no sound of objection as he buckled his seat belt, only a strangled sigh. If this is what life would be like for him from now on, he'd just have to get used to it all.

He gazed up at the dark, cloudy sky, his eyes watching snowflakes gracefully fall to the ground covered with the white, powdery snow. Hyde hated winter, except for the snowball fights with his friends. Winter was always too cold, and it reminded him of death and life. You held it in your hands, you have control, and it's so beautiful, then when things look to be perfect, the snow melts, like all that you have in life, and you're left with nothing but a mess, and then it's gone. It seemed like the world was out to get him tonight, combining a strange male companion of his mom's and a freezing winter night, what next?

"Edna, stay here, your sons and I will be right back, with a beautiful present." Hyde saw his mom grin and close her eyes. He grabbed his baby brother, in his bassinet, and slammed the back seat door, an effect of his anger. Joe chuckled and walked up the parking lot with a silent Hyde, they both noted the awkwardness. The only sound Hyde could hear was the crunch of snow from under his worn out boots, crappy '50s music playing peppy tunes from radios in stores, and people talking to each other inaudibly.

"I brought you with me, 'cause your prolly know what your mama likes, ain't I right?" Joe asked, walking into a lady's store. Bright lights and the potent stench of too sweet perfume me the 8 year old. Wherever he glanced, there was pink; pink bottles of all shapes and sizes, pink night gowns, panties, even stuffed unicorns. This place was definitely not a place his mom would like, it gave him the creeps, and he wanted out as soon as possible.

"Joe, I don't think-" He paused, spinning around to see no one behind him. "Fuck." He mumbled, his heart pounding quickly as he snapped hs head around, it would be difficult finding Joe. A sickening thought passed through him, which ended up making sense. 'What if his present to ma… was no us? No me or Chris?' Hyde felt his throat tighten and eyes burn, he was thankful for his sunglasses. H could blame the fumes from the perfume also, they could seriously kill someone.

With his head low, he walked quickly out of the store, hoping he'd be in time to catch up with Joe and end up going home; ruin his mom's night. He hadn't been paying attention, and ended up bumping into something dark and small, with lots of fluffy pink… stuff. Hyde froze when seeing the little girl stagger, yet keep her stance, her spiraled dark chocolate hair bouncing with each step she took. She glared at him and hissed, "Watch it, you weirdo," then strutted alongside her mother, who was dressed very prim and proper. He heard the older woman whisper to her daughter, "don't talk to that boy, he's poor," making the little girl turn around and stick her tongue out at Hyde.

'Shallow,' he thought, 'she doesn't know anything, that girl will grow up and be a whore,' he added, hoping he'd never see her again.

As Hyde walked out of the loud, crowded mall to the parking lot, he felt his heart quicken. She wouldn't have left him, she just started to care, or so he thought. He whimpered, shivering as he patrolled the lot, searching wistfully for the car he knew wouldn't be there.

What was he supposed to do? He couldn't go home, it was too far away. He had no money or loose change for a pay phone, and he had Chris. They couldn't be outside for very long, the mall was going to close soon, he didn't know what he could do for them. Only that he had to be brave, big brother and find a way out of this. Sighing shakily, he trudged to the sidewalk at the edge of the parking lot and walked forward. Whose house could he go to? There were two options for him; Kelso, or Forman's. Kelso was closer to where he was, but… he had a longing for the Forman's home. It always felt perfect, and right now he longed for a hug from Mrs. Forman, and her hot chocolate. He wasn't exactly sure how to get there, or how far it was, yet he'd find a way.

Hyde realized, after walking five blocks, that Chris wouldn't make it with the two thin blankets he had. And though Hyde was already frozen to the bone, he wouldn't let Chris suffer, he was too little. So, he unbuttoned his jacket, wrapped it around his baby brother, and pulled the cover over the bassinet to block the winds and snow, it should have protected him more.

With nothing but a t shirt and jeans, Hyde soon grew so cold that he was numb; inside and out. Two things crossed through the boy's mind as he passed 7th Avenue; get to the Forman's _soon_, and the anger and betrayal he felt towards his mother. _How could she do this to him? To Chris? _

The sow was falling faster, the wind picked up, and soon there were no cars in motion; everyone was safe and sound in their homes. Hyde drowsily shuddered, little amounts of snow shook off of his shoulders. He was tired, no, exhausted, and he was probably tinted blue for the over exposure of cold. With each shallow inhale of air, it seemed to spasm through his body, bringing the shock of life back to him.

Chris was completely silent as Hyde dragged on slower in the winter night, losing his energy and growing weaker. He wasn't sure if the baby's silence was a good thing or not, but he couldn't check him right now. The sooner the brothers arrived at the Forman's the faster they would _both_ be all right. With a small amount of hope and determination, Hyde gritted his teeth and pressed forward. He couldn't let his brother down; he'd get them there soon.

"Hold on, Chris." Hyde whispered softly, shivering violently in the night. 'We'll be all right, we'll make it,' he told himself over and over, giving himself strength he knew he didn't have.

The thought of just laying down and sleeping had crossed his mind. It seemed so easy, his eyes were already drooping, and he was so weak. No one would miss him much, his mom didn't care. Yeah, his friends would be sad, but they'd get over it. The only reason he didn't just curl up and die was Chris. He wanted his little brother to live and be happy; Hyde would be taking down a helpless baby if he just gave up. His own brother. He didn't care much for himself, but he had to get Chris safe… and soon.

Hyde began to cry, with sadness and fear, but mostly of happiness. His eyes stared at the second to last house on the right, with the side porch light on, illuminated the distant garage, and a painful tug pulled at his numb cheeks. His legs were shaky as he picked up speed, he was shin deep in snow, and his legs felt like Jell-o. But, they were going to make it, he knew it.

"I told you, Chris!" He whispered excitedly, voice trembling as he stepped onto the front porch.

How would he answer their questions? A sickening feeling waved through him, but right now he just didn't care. All Hyde wanted was warmth and sleep. He rang the doorbell and pounded viciously on the door as sobs tore through him. At this point, he didn't' care if his best friend saw him crying, all he wanted was to be indoors. He was begging to be let in.

Mr. Forman's voice was heard, muffled by the walls, and the light green door opened. Hyde staggered inside before being welcomed, and almost dropped the bassinet right on the floor. He felt himself thawing and it was so painful, but he could deal with that, at least he was inside. Hyde slowly looked up, his eyes met Mrs. Forman's, who had called for Mr. Forman, and she held Hyde close.

"Steven? Steven, no, stay with me! Red, quickly!" Hyde's vision doubled and the last thing he heard was Eric's mom say 'stay with Eric, I'm taking them,' before he toppled over on the floor, unconscious.


	9. Stockholm Syndrome

**_Author's Note: Sorry, this one is quite short, but hey at least I've updated sooner than I thought, eh? I probably should actually study now, instead of update but I honestly don't want to study for my last math test because it's just dumb and I'm going to bomb it anyway. :D Maybe I should work on the projects... *shrugs* nah. This one is fast paced, but it's sad. The next chapter will explain... more in a way._**

**_PS: I already have next chapter title figure out... but guess what it is! Like, give me a suggestion for what you think it will be. This should be fun :D  
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_This is the first thing I remember, now it's the last thing left on my mind. Afraid of the dark, (do you hear me whisper) an empty heart (replaced with paranoia). Where do we go (Life's temporary) after we're gone? (Like new years resolutions) why is this hard? (Do you recognize me?) I know I'm wrong, (but I can't help believing.) I'm so lost, I'm barely here. I wish I could explain myself, but words escape me. It's too late to save me; you're too late, you're too late…. You're cold with disappointment, while I'm drowning in the next room. The last contagious victim of this plague between us, I'm sick with apprehension, I'm crippled from exhaustion. And I dread the moment when you finally come to kill me…_

Hyde woke up to the sound of mechanical beeping, and bright lights. As he gazed around blindly and gathered focus, he realized he was in a hospital. Yawning, he balled his fist and rubbed his eyes, and blinked in a confused way. How had he gotten here? And did he ever get hot chocolate? But, the thing he wondered about the most was-

"Chris?" Hyde cried out, sitting up quickly, earning a pain in his lungs and ribs. He swung his legs over the hospital bed and was about to stand up before he had a major coughing fit.

"Oh, Steven, you're awake! I'm so glad!" Mrs. Forman chirped, walking into his room with a smile on his face, yet he was the prince of hiding emotions; he gazed in her eyes and saw worry, and a little sadness.

"What happened?" Mrs. Forman looked away from him, laughing nervously as he asked his question.

"Sweetie, you walked all the way from the mall to our house in blizzard conditions, at midnight! So, I took you to the hospital and now you're here. You have hypothermia, the doctors were so surprised you made it to our house, and I am too. It's a miracle!" Hyde smiled, and took a deep breath, only to have a coughing fit once again. Kitty rushed to the bathroom and filled a cup with some water from the sink, and grabbed a thermometer from a pocket on her nurse outfit. "How are you feeling?" Hyde only stared at her, with an expression that read 'are you seriously asking me that?'

"Where is Chris?" Kitty stuck the thermometer in house mouth before he could ask any more questions and tapped her foot while watching the clock. Hyde wanted to know here his little brother was, and his mom. She should have been here, yet of course she wasn't. Hyde had to get used to the fact that she only cared about screwing her friends way more than her sons' welfare. A minute later, Kitty pulled out the thermometer from Hyde's mouth and laughed nervously once more, smiling at the young boy.

"Your fever went down, are you cold at all?" Hyde shrugged, yet the goose bumps on his arm answered the question for her.

"Mrs. Forman, where is Chris?" Hyde asked softly, shivering as she tucked him in another thick blanket.

"He's here Steven, don't worry." She said, her eyes not meeting his. There was something wrong. How could he not worry? It was his own brother, he wanted to know and make sure that the little one was safe and happy. "So why did-"

"Is Chris okay?" Hyde interrupted the woman, she turned ashen as he spoke. Kitty took a deep breath and looked towards the floor. She sat down on the chair next to him and Hyde gulped; this wasn't going to be good.

"When you got to our house, both of you weren't doing very well; we all thought we'd lose both of you. I drove you boys to the hospital, and the doctors hurried to take care of you and your brother to make sure you'd be okay. Steven, you're a growing boy, but you're much bigger and stronger than Chris, you are guaranteed a full recovery-"

"No," Hyde whimpered, a knot tightening in his throat. This can't be happening….

"But Chris, he's too little, hasn't been adapted to things as you have, he's so much weaker."

"No, Mrs. Forman… you're lying." Hyde pleaded, voice breaking.

"Steven," She started, holding the boy's hand, afraid to tell him what was coming, "Chris probably won't… be… waking up."

"NO!" Hyde screamed, tears flowing freely. A sob broke through him and he shook with emotion. Mrs. Forman hugged him close.

Chris couldn't die; he was only two months old! Hyde should have checked on him when he wasn't being noisy. He couldn't lose his baby brother, not because of him; not at all! What had Chris done to deserve this? Nothing! It was Hyde's fault; kill him instead! Why did everything he love leave him? Why was God so cruel? Neither of them deserved this! Hyde was pleading for anyone above to switch places with his brother, give Chris the chance to live a life that he hadn't had; Hyde wanted to die, anyway.

"Steven, shh… please calm down? I'm so sorry, I'm so, so sorry, honey. He might make it." But he knew it was false hope.

"I can't… I killed him… it's my fault." Kitty held Hyde tightly and he sobbed into her shoulder.

His mind reeled over the fact that because of him, his brother would die. He should have found a way to keep him safe; Hyde should be the one to die. The fact his infant brother lost his life because of him ripped at his heart, his whole body ached and he couldn't stand this, it hurt him more than anything he'd ever experienced. He could have done something different; gone to some stranger's house and gotten a ride, asked to call the Forman's on their phone, or even just a dime for a pay phone. But now, he made things difficult, he just had to walk three hours from the mall in a blizzard. This was all his fault; his brother would die because of him. Hyde was a killer… of his own blood.

"Steven, you were _abandoned_, you didn't know what to do. You didn't kill your brother, and it's _not_ your fault. If it's anyone's fault, it's your _mother's_." He shook his head, hot tears still falling.

"No, me." He mumbled, voice muffled as he buried his face in the woman's shoulder. She sighed and softly caressed his back to try and calm him. He couldn't be under a lot of stress, or anymore than he already was, otherwise his condition could grow worse. "It's all my fault, Mrs. Forman." Kitty only shook her head.

What would his mom do? What if his dad found out? The fear of dealing with the wrath of either parent terrified him, he wasn't sure if he could do it. What would happen to him?

"Steven, would you like to go see Chris?" Mrs. Forman finally asked. He nodded slowly, wiping his sore eyes. "Only for a little while," the translation in Hyde's mind was _'there's not much time.'_ Kitty helped Hyde stand and she watched him closely. He wobbled a bit as dizziness clouded his head. She held him to her, for support, his IV in her other hand, and the two of them walked out of his hospital room to the door right across. Mrs. Forman quietly opened the door, and lead Hyde into the room.

"Edna, I didn't know you were-" Hyde's stomach dropped and he felt sick as he saw his mom.

"How could you do this, Steven? You put my baby here, you killed the one thing I did right! Even more reason for me to hate you; this is all your fault!" Hyde only lowered his head and nodded, tears stinging his bloodshot eyes. Mrs. Forman sat Hyde down and glared right into his mom's eyes.

"Edna, let's talk out here…" Hyde watched the two leave, and he whimpered, eyes slowly gazing at the crib right next to him.

He was transported to the day he was born; in this same hospital. Hyde had never held a baby before, and his mom was tired. She had smiled at him, and directed him on how to hold the newborn. How the baby felt in his arms was weird, but it made him know that he wanted kids when he was grown up, holding Chris made him so happy. And now he gazed at the same child, he looked all right. Yet, his breathing was shallow and delayed, Hyde had a feeling he was suffering and it was all his fault. Hyde lifted the infant in his arms, and his stomach lurched as he heard the strangled coo; he only made that noise when Hyde hold him or took care of him. He recognized him.

"Chris, I-I didn't mean for this to h-happen. I wish it was me instead. I'm so sorry, I.. it's not fair!" Hyde whispered, smoothing his brother's dark brown hair, feeling for the first time how feverish Chris was. As Hyde kissed his soft forehead, Chris's breathing labored, and Hyde choked, seeing the baby barely open his brown eyes; he knew was there. Hyde smiled weakly and held Chris close.

"I'm so sorry," Hyde paused, placing his finger in the baby's hand, feeling the tiniest squeeze. "I love you Chris." Hyde whimpered, Chris made a quiet sound.

Flat line. That was the worst sound in the world to Hyde. He gazed at the baby in his arms, in denial he was actually dead; he could have been sleeping. A team of doctors rushed in, with Mrs. Forman and Edna right behind them, but they all stopped when seeing ht e9 year old patient with his dead brother in his hands. Hyde looked at them all with a tear stained face and shook his head.

"It's all my fault."


	10. Paint It Black

**_This one is rather short, sort of. I didn't want to write much because writing about funerals is really depressing... I think this one says enough though. Hope you enjoy. Review?_**

**_PS: This is one of my favorite songs, and I've heard some great covers of this. You should check out the original, or the cover by Verseemerge, or Siobhan Magnus. They're great :)  
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"_I see a red door and I want it painted black; no colors anymore I want them to turn black. I see the girls walk by dressed in their summer clothes; I have to turn my head until my darkness goes. I see a line of cars and they're all painted black, with flowers and my love both never to come back. I see people turn their heads and quickly look away, like a new born baby it just happens every day. I look inside myself and see my heart is black, I see my red door and must have it painted black. Maybe then I'll fade away and not have to face the facts; it's not easy facin' up when your whole world is black."_

Hyde stood outside of the church he never attended, in a black suit and sunglasses to hide his eyes. He stared at the hearse parked right by the church, and the line of people walking into the building.

Such anger was held in him. Anger at the man upstairs who he now no longer believed in, for taking his brother away, if there was some reason for this, give him a good reason, not just to hurt him even more. Anger at his mother who couldn't stand to look at him and hadn't seen for two days, she was so disgusted with him; she made him stay at the Forman's, not that he minded much. Anger at the world for all that it had done to him; the abuse and neglect and now taking away the only person he felt he ever loved in any way. The only person he wanted to make a difference for. But mostly anger at himself, for letting this happen, when he could have found a way to. It was all blocked off by his permanent guard, the sunglasses that he would never part with. They shielded himself from the world, from letting the people see how he really felt; he was detached and he wanted it that way.

As he stood outside, ignoring the sad smiles and sympathy he had received from the attendees, he thought up a plan. A promise to himself that he had to keep; for his sake. Never to love, or to admit it, and not to show any sign of affection towards anyone, don't get too close to people. The ability to show and express all of those had died with Chris, and like his brother, he couldn't bring them back. He had already lost his dad and brother; he couldn't lose anyone else that meant a damn to him. If he kept his distance from people, his guard up, and stayed detached, _zen_, he called it, he wouldn't allow himself to be hurt again; it would be impossible. He owed that to himself.

Hyde didn't want to go inside; he despised churches and he didn't want to watch his brother's funeral procession. This wasn't how it worked; he should have died, this wasn't the order of things! His vision blurred, and he let out a shaky sigh, closing his eyes to concentrate; lose himself. His soul was disconnected from his body, or it felt that way, barricaded by layer upon layer of numb and apathy, and he wasn't about to let that shell break. Not again.

He was stubborn, and in denial, shocked by what had happened just two nights ago. There was this stabbing in his chest that would never go away, a permanent knife stuck in his heart, someone kept twisting it and ripping it out, so he would feel the grief for his brother all over again. They didn't understand, his mother blamed him for it all; it was the truth, but she had left them, maybe a part of it was on her too. Maybe.

Hyde felt a hand press against his shoulder, and he jumped, scared. The last person to touch him on that shoulder was Joe, and before that, his father. Two people who had caused him so much pain. Yet, as he looked up, he calmed, but felt nervous; Red Forman. The man knelt down to be eye level with Hyde and the boy gulped.

"Steven," Mr. Forman began, Hyde just stared at him. "I know this is tough, but you have to come inside now."

"I don't want to!" He whimpered, voice breaking with the emotion he tried so hard to hide away. Red sighed and shook his head.

"There is no use to dwell on what happened, it was an accident. You tried your best, Steven. Now you have to do one last thing for him, the thing he'd want you to do, and go in there. Be his big brother, show him you still care."

Hyde's eyes widened as he heard the man speak. He stiffened and all thoughts, all feelings stopped just then, as he listened to his best friend's father give him advice. He was… right. He had to do this for Chris, the baby who never spoke, never walked, only smiled and cooed when he saw his big brother. His shoulders shook, yet he wouldn't cry, not now, not again.

As Hyde and Mr. Forman walked into the church, the doors creaked shut behind them. People turned their heads and stared as they walked down the aisle, Hyde's breathing became erratic as he stared at the small casket up at the altar, with the pastor standing on the top stair. What made him better than Chris? His brother was in that box, the casket was open, so how could he do this? Hyde's mind kept playing the images of that night over and over in his brain. He never checked on his brother; he was a horrible big brother. Chris was his first damn priority, yet he didn't even make sure he was all right! He felt sick, lightheaded as he sat in the pew with the Formans, first row.

Eric smiled feebly at him, and Mrs. Forman dabbed at her eyes. Hyde just leaned back against the bench and closed his eyes, trying to stabilize his breathing. He couldn't come to terms with this, he'd never forgive anyone for taking away Chris, wouldn't listen to anyone that told him it happened for a reason. He'd yell and scream at them, tell them, _"You try losing your brother or sister! Then you tell me there's a god damn reason!" _he knew that they weren't going back up to heaven to be God's angels, there was no God. There was no heaven, and there sure as hell weren't any angels. Death was nothing, your own solitude, you're alone forever. His brother was alone, trapped. Hyde's chest heaved and he trembled, allowing a few tears to fall down his face.

Hyde watched Eric look behind him, and Hyde turned as well, seeing Donna Pinciotti, Eric's next door neighbor and first friend whisper something in his ear. Hyde knew her, she was a sweet girl, and they were all friends and hung out whenever they were at Forman's. Donna kept on whispering, and glanced at Hyde, before turning her attention back to Eric, who nodded and whispered back. She giggled softly and bit her lip, smiling as she faced the front of the church. How could they laugh and smile?

Hyde couldn't listen as the pastor talked about his brother's short life. The guy didn't know a damn thing about his brother; he was only two months old, and talked about how he lived a life well. Well, he didn't! He died before he could even crawl! And he wasn't going to heaven to be a cherub at the golden gates with St. Peter as the rest of the dead arrived, that's for sure. Because, there was no heaven! There were no golden gates, or a paradise on a fucking cloud, there was no God!

He looked to his right, and saw his mother, dressed in a black dress, and rage passed through him; she wasn't crying. _How could she not be crying at her own son's funeral? _Hyde knew she never really cared, she was probably over there, either drunk, high, or hung over. And next to her he saw a man he had never seen before, which killed him inside even more. _How could she bring a stranger here?_ All of his relatives were over there, his two aunts and his uncle, their children, his grandma and grandpa; he just wanted to avoid them. They would blame him for killing their cousin, their nephew, their grandchild, like his mother blamed him; like he blamed himself. The one person he didn't see was his father, which he didn't mind much.

"Please allow a moment of silence to remember this child," The pastor said, and everyone bowed their heads. All except Hyde; he had more than a moment to remember, he'd been living everything over and over in his mind since the baby died in his arms. He wasn't about to listen to some nut job pastor who didn't give two shits about Chris.

But there never really was a moment of silence. Hyde watched with wide eyes as his mother stood up, and stomped towards him; at first no one noticed, not until she spoke.

"How dare you Steven!" She yelled, the occupants in the church all looked up, Hyde just froze, staring up at his mom who smelled of alcohol, her favorite perfume. "How could you do this to me and kill my son? How could you let this happen? You were supposed to watch him and take care of him, you ran away! And you let him die, and then you show up here, like you're wanted! You disgust me!"

Everyone was silent. Everyone stared at both mother and son as they glared at one another. Hyde was silent, eyes fixed on his mom who was clearly intoxicated, _how could she do this at her son's funeral? _

"This isn't what Chris would want, ma." He mumbled flatly, staring straight at the casket.

"How do you know what he would want? You killed him!"

"Edna!" Mrs. Forman gasped.

"Ma, please… would you want this? Just let this get over with… please…?" He whispered, biting his lip as she clenched her fist. Yet, instead of hitting him, she took a deep breath, and decided to go back to her seat.

Hyde wondered if she had any shame for doing that. If she even knew what she was doing when she walked over here, interrupting her youngest child's funeral. He wondered if she'd yell at anyone if it was him who was in that casket. And he wished he was the one lying in there, looking like a wax model rather than the real person.

"You did the right thing, Steven," Mr. Forman whispered to Steven as the pastor conducted the ceremony once again. Hyde just looked at him, confused on what he meant exactly. Did he mean by telling his mom to calm down, or the whole accidentally letting Chris die? He only stared ahead, nodding slightly at Mr. Forman's words.

When it was time to leave and say the final goodbyes, his mom just left the church, without looking at her son one last time. Was it of grief, or relief? The right side went first, he watched as his family spoke quickly and quietly to the immobile child, or kissed his forehead, or just cried. His heart pounded as he watched his cousin John, the last person in the first row finally walk by, he had to go now….

"Red, why don't you go with Hyde?" Kitty asked her husband quietly, Red nodded and Hyde smiled weakly. As he stood up and walked out into the aisle, with eyes on him, he felt Mr. Forman place his hand on his shoulders, and he wasn't so scared. He walked up with the older man and felt secure, how could his best friend's family be so different from his? Hyde took a deep breath and closed his eyes before reaching the top step before the casket. He opened his eyes, noticed there were flowers all around, things he hadn't noticed before, he gazed at the image of a baby Jesus on the back wall behind the altar, then hesitantly gazed down. His breath caught in his throat as he stared at his baby brother, who looked like he was sleeping; yet he looked fake. It looked like a model doll had been put in his place, he looked sunken, unreal, it wasn't Chris. His… soul wasn't in there anymore. Nothing was, he was just skin. Hyde swore he saw his brother's stomach rise and fall, yet it was all his imagination. He was gone.

"I'm so sorry, Chris." He whispered, placing his hand on the baby's head on more time, 'fixing' the boy's hair to how he always wore it, his bangs in his eyes. Hyde smiled at his masterpiece, and looked up at Mr. Forman who chuckled sadly. "I love you, I'll see you someday…" But he knew he wouldn't, heaven didn't exist.


	11. Airplanes

_**Author's Note: This chapter is definitely very… light. It's really happy, and quite funny I think. This kind of chapter is definitely needed… I needed a pick me up after writing the past few chapters (In order to write sad things, I have to make myself sad…) Hope you enjoy this one I had a lot of fun writing this one! **_

_**PS: I wanted this story to be longer than my other T7S story, by the 12th chapter, and we're only on Chapter Ten and it's already passed it, so I'm on a roll! :D And you should check out the song "Airplanes" by B.O.B. featuring Hayley Williams and Eminem, usually I don't listen to rap, but my sister played it for me, and that's where I got the lyrics for this chapter. It's really a good song.  
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_Lets pretend people procrastinated had no motivation; pretend he just made excuses that were so paper thin they could blow away with the wind. You're never gone make it, makes no sense to play the game there ain't no way that you'll win. Pretend he just stands out side all day and play with his friends, pretend he even had a friend to say was his friend. And it wasn't time to move in school no changing again, he wasn't socially awkward and just strange as a kid. He had a father and his mother wasn't crazy as shit, and he never dreamed he can ripped stadiums he just lazy as shit. Fuck a talent show in the gymnasium bitch, you won't amount to shit quit day dreaming kid. You need to get ya cranium check you thinking like an alien it just ain't realistic…. Can we pretend that airplanes in the night sky are like shooting stars? I could really use a wish right now, a wish right now, a wish right now…  
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Three months had passed; nothing much had changed. Joe was out of the picture after the funeral, when he visited the house and found Edna with another man. She would barely talk to Hyde, and drifted into things worse than he had imagined for her. His home life was, in some ways, worse than when Bud was around, he wouldn't call him dad, but there was no physical abuse; just mental and verbal. He'd take that any day over physical. He had tried pot three more times since his brother's funeral, he had gotten drunk twice, and for awhile he had been mute. Mrs. Forman brought him out of much of the sadness he was in, but still he ached each time he thought of Chris.

Today was a good day though. It was the end of third grade, the last day of school. He was gathered with his friends outside under a tree, all of the students counting down the minutes to the end of the day. Eric and Kelso were chasing each other around the tree, tackling each other, Donna sitting next to Hyde, both of them silent.

"Are you excited for tonight?" Donna asked him, pulling her straight red hair in a ponytail. Hyde shrugged, smiled softly, then nodded. The Formans were having a party for all of Eric's friends because they were entering summer vacation and they wanted them to have lots of fun. Mr. and Mrs. Forman were taking all of them to some lake and they were all going to camp there for the night, go swimming and fishing, and "a bunch of other fun stuff" as Eric said. As his friend said that, Hyde patted his pocket with three joints in it; all for him.

"Yeah, I guess." He mumbled, staring up at the sun, sunglasses on. Donna laughed softly and poked him, to try and get him to come back to Earth. "It should be fun."

"Oh… did Kelso tell you that his 'girlfriend' is coming with?" Donna asked, Hyde shook his head.

"Kelso has a girlfriend?" Donna giggled and nodded, "who would date him?" he laughed with her and she shrugged her shoulders. Other than Eric, Donna was his second best friend, she was more… mature, she knew more about 'mature stuff', not like he knew, but she wasn't as naïve. He could talk to her about some things, and she'd understand. It felt nice to have someone on his level rather than acting like a goof with Eric and Kelso. "I bet you like someone," Hyde taunted, smirking at the red head. She blushed and shook her head, shoving him playfully.

"No I don't!" He nodded slowly and felt his smile widen. "Never!"

"Uh huh," Hyde sang, leaning his head back against the tree, eyes following Forman and Kelso as they tumbled down a hill, hitting each other and screaming, all in fun. Donna looked at him with a light smile on her face and he sighed. "I bet you like… Timmy." She made a gagging noise and Hyde burst out laughing at her reaction, the hysterics hurting his sides as he couldn't stop laughing. She joined in with him, until they were both red in the face, tears running down their eyes with big grins on their faces.

"What were even laughing about?" Donna asked and Hyde shrugged, making the two friends laugh once again.

"I think…" Hyde paused, still catching a breath from his giggle fit, "you like… Kelso." Donna scrunched her nose. "Casey Kelso?" She hit him on the arm again, he rubbed the spot where she hit him and chuckled. "Oh! Forman!" He looked her in the eye, and noticed there was no humor in her brown eyes, a light blush creeping on her face.

"If you tell anyone Hyde, I will…" She smirked and he was still shocked that he had actually guessed right. "I'll do this!"

And she pounced on him, at first he was terrified, but then he felt she was tickling his sides. Donna had him pinned on the ground and he couldn't escape. Hyde was laughing hysterically once again, his stomach aching from it.

"Donna!" He whined in between his chortling, "sto-op! I won't tell anyone! I promise!" Hyde begged in his giggle, Donna couldn't help but laugh at her friend as he spoke.

"Fine, on one condition." She stopped tickling him, but still pinned him down, staring him straight in the eye.

"Anything, I swear I'll do it!" He offered, eyes glinting from his happiness. She smirked and he sighed, throwing his head back against the ground. "Ow." He mumbled weakly, making her giggle again.

"Have fun tonight," She mumbled softly, rolling off of him and laying down next to him, "I don't like it when you're sad. I promise it will be fun. We can scare the crap outta Kelso's girlfriend together, okay?" Hyde nodded, smiling over at her, she grinned back and their heads touched.

Finally the bell rang from inside of the school, and a stampede of first and second graders ran from the building, the kids from 3rd grade through 6th grade ran out of the way from the munchkins and the four friends just watched the little midgets run to the buses.

"So Forman," Kelso started, "your parents picking us up here?" Eric nodded and stood in between Kelso and Hyde, Donna in between Eric and Hyde. "And then we're going to Lake Waconda, right?" Everyone nodded. "Sweet, last time I was there, Casey dunked me and I hit my head on a rock." Silence. Then the other three roared with laughter at Kelso's statement, while he looked serious. "It isn't funny, guys!" Hyde just shook his head, his whole body ached from all of this laughing, yet it felt great. He was having fun for the first time in ages.

"It is too funny, man, imagine if that happened to me," Eric said, and Kelso chuckled and nodded. Hyde glanced over at Donna who was smiling at him, and he sighed happily.

The group of four sat on the sidewalk, waiting for Mr. and Mrs. Forman to arrive at the school. All of them were excited, each of them for different reasons, each showed it in different ways. But, if you looked at them all, you could tell each were happy, and truly happy. The teachers periodically checked on them, to make sure they weren't doing anything to get themselves in trouble; they knew a group of troublemakers when they saw one.

"Are you sure they're picking us up?" Donna asked, face flustered from the heat of the afternoon a half hour later.

"Uh yeah they said they were going to… oh man," Eric trailed off, his face paled as he realized something. Kelso, Hyde and Donna turned their attention to their friend, who laughed nervously. "Well, they were going to pick up whatserface, your girlfriend," Eric pointed to Kelso, he grinned. "But they needed us there by… guys we need to go!"

Kelso and Hyde both frogged Eric and he cried out in pain as they did so. Hyde only shook his head, he didn't know what pain was. The four began to run down the sidewalk, to the road, where they would just jaywalk. Each of them were angry at Eric, and he felt really bad about it, tried to apologize, but they wouldn't listen.

After running three blocks, they all felt like they had rubber legs, and paused momentarily to catch their breath. They each decided instead of running and 'killing themselves' they would just walk very quickly.

"We'll take the shortcut." Eric called; Donna raised her eyebrows at him, hoping he really knew it was the shorter route.

All of them felt so old and mature as they jokingly began to strut down the street, they were having fun, and no one could stop them. They knew they probably looked ridiculous but none of them cared, as long as they were enjoying it all with each other. The only way any of them would have it.

Hyde felt like he was free, for the first time since his mom met Joe, he was truly happy. As he looked at all of his friends, he knew that they were just as glad as he was that this day was finally here. Nothing could bring him down it seemed, he was naturally high, and he just felt like nothing could hurt him. He was away from his home, away from his mom and all the pain that she brought, he was with his friends and would be with people who cared about him so much, he'd be out at a lake having tons of fun, and it just felt amazing. He was happy. But as he opened his eyes and gazed around, listening to Eric, Donna and Kelso singing The Rolling Stones, he felt his stomach drop.

"Guys, is there any other way?" He asked quietly, breaking the chorus of, _"Ruby Tuesday" _Hyde gazed at the street sign that read 7th Avenue and felt a chill in his spine. They didn't hear him, and began to walk down the road, singing just as loud and off key. Donna turned around in the middle of singing, as she noticed he wasn't standing next to her anymore. She sighed softly and stopped walking, until he caught up with her.

"Hyde… what's wrong?" She asked, "c'mon, have fun!"

"Donna… I don't like this street," He had almost told her the reason, almost spilled that it hurt him to this day to walk the same path he had with his brother the night he died.

"It'll be okay, just don't think about it, Hyde, I know it hurts still…" Donna whispered, hugging him. He tensed in her embrace and she sighed, pulling away from him, "I forgot, you don't do hugs." Hyde smiled sadly and nodded. "You give hugs to Mrs. Forman though," he shrugged and chuckled softly, Donna was trying to distract him, thankfully.

"That's different, she's a mom. You gotta respect moms," Donna smiled at him and nodded, not bringing up his own mother, who he had no respect for.

"I guess, you're so different with her than everyone else though, you actually open up to her. You act too old." He laughed out loud and nodded, wrapping his arm around Donna, she smiled.

"So I've been told, and this is the closest to a hug you're ever gonna get." She smirked at him and he hung his head.  
"I'll prove that wrong by the end of tonight, Steven Hyde." He raised his eyebrows and folded his arms over his chest, nodded in disbelief.

"I'll take that up with you, Donna Pinciotti." She grinned and they both ran up to catch up with Eric and Kelso. "Hey, Donna." Hyde whispered to her as they turned off onto 3rd Street, she looked at him, tilting her head. "Thanks."

* * *

"Finally!" Kelso screamed two hours later, bolting out of the Vista Cruiser as they parked at Lake Waconda. He ripped off his shirt tossed it into the air and zipped off for the water. "Jackie, come on!"

Hyde glared at the tiny, tan, dark haired girl in her pink bathing suit as she chased after her boyfriend. He held a handful of towels in his hand; sunglasses perched on top of his nose. He had hoped he'd never see that spoiled brat he saw at the mall again, yet there she was, annoying as hell.

"Man, Kelso has awful taste in girls," Hyde growled to Donna, she scoffed and nodded, carrying a bag down to the beach area, Eric staying with his parents to help them begin to set up the tent.

"Minus the high pitched voice and selfishness, she's… oh who am I kidding?" Donna responded, Hyde smirked. "Do you know her?" He nodded, trying not to remember that night.

"I saw her at the mall once, in this really pink store and it all scared the crap outta me, man. I never met a girl like her before, and I wish I never had." Donna shoved him and he grinned.

"So, you're saying I'm not like most girls?" Donna finally asked, dropping the bag in the sand. Hyde gulped, he was never good with phrasing words correctly.

"Well, you're not stuck up, is what I meant, and I actually like you." She smiled and frogged him on the arm.

"Good, because otherwise I would wonder why you were my best friend." Hyde tilted his head, setting down the folded beach towels, confused at her words.

"Best friend?" He asked, looking away as she took off her shirt, she had her bathing suit on under; he figured if she was like all girls, she'd want her privacy.

"Yeah, I mean I've known Eric since I was five but, you know…" She trailed off, blushing a little; Hyde nodded, kicking off his boots.

"Well, Forman's my best friend, but you're my… the friend I trust the most with stuff, ya know?" She smiled and went to hug him, but remembered his rule. Hyde threw his head back and groaned in annoyance, loosely holding out his arms and she grinned, hugging him quickly. "Off!" He cried, laughing after five seconds of her still hugging him.

"Thanks, Hyde." He nodded and unfolded a towel as she took off her jean shorts, keeping himself occupied so she wouldn't get creeped out by him just standing there. Hyde lied down on the towel, his arms under his head, and he stared up at the sky. The sun was still just as bright, yet thanks to his sunglasses, he wasn't going to go blind. He closed his eyes, the warmth from the sun absorbed into his Zeppelin shirt and his dark jeans.

"Are you going to swim?" Donna asked him, he shrugged, eyes still closed. "Well you should, we can play Marco Polo, and then ditch Kelso."

"Tempting," Hyde mumbled, sitting up.

"For a little bit?" She asked, "I don't wanna go out there with them alone."  
"Why don't you go when Eric comes down here?" Hyde suggested, not wanting to take off his clothes.

"Because… he's way up there and it will take hours," Donna whined, pulling on his arm to stand up. Hyde glared at her and sighed, not believing he was giving in.

"Until Forman comes out, okay?" He compromised, she nodded and turned around, he silently thanked her for the privacy.

He had put on his swimming trunks during the last hour of school, because it would be a lot easier than having to change in the Vista Cruiser with all of his friends there. Hyde was a bit self conscious; he had scars from his father that you could still see, darker than his too-pale skin. And the fact that his skin almost glowed when it came in contact with the bright sun; he never wore shorts, didn't walk around in just his underwear like Kelso, and was never shirtless. Hyde unbuckled his belt and pulled the zipper down on his jeans, quickly sliding them off of his skinny legs and tossing them on the blue towel he had been laying on. Donna turned to see him standing in black swim trunks and his Zeppelin shirt.

"You can't go swimming with a shirt!" Donna cried. Hyde raised his eyebrows, slowly pulling off his sunglasses; he was greeted with the bright sun. He set them carefully on his jeans, and rubbed his eyes to get used to the brightness of seeing with normal vision.

"Yeah I can, and I will."

"You need to wear it for pajamas probably." She reminded him, he facepalmed and grumbled , "Damn," as he lifted his favorite shirt off of his chest.

"You just wanna see me as close to naked as you ever will," He teased and she rolled her eyes, shaking her head.

"What are those scars from?" She asked softly, he sighed and shrugged his shoulders, walking on the wet sand to the lake with Donna.

"You know me, I live for adventure and these are my adventure wounds," He cried, she splashed him and shook her head.

"Liar, really… what happened?" He shook his head, smiling sadly at her. Donna noticed the ache in his eyes and decided not to push it anymore; he'd tell his story on his own time, she figured. "Fine, don't tell me," She whispered, smirking.

"Donna don't- AAHH!" He screamed as she pounced on him, making them both plunge under the murky water.

It felt cold and refreshing, and he could feel the young girl next to him, it made him feel that he wasn't really alone, that he was enjoying all of this with someone else. Simple things could make him smile, make him happy, and to share it with someone else, that was something on its own. They both surfaced and laughed, he spit out the lake water and shook his head, water spraying everywhere from his curly hair.

"You're like a shaggy dog!" Donna giggled, wringing her hair out, he nodded, and they both swam to Kelso and Jackie.

The four of them decided to race until Eric joined them, then they'd play Marco Polo; Kelso always volunteered to be the searcher first, which no one minded. They always liked to trick him, and soon, Eric was in the water, glad to finally be with his friends and away from his parents who were setting up the tent and cooking dinner.

As Kelso spun around 8 times in the water, the others parted ways with each other, each in different directions, trying to get as far away as possible, with a little amount of noise. Hyde, being the daring one, decided to stay put, and was actually standing right behind Kelso.

"MARCO!" He heard the older boy shout, eyes shut as he felt his way through the water. Eric and Donna giggled as Hyde silently stalked behind him; years of tip toeing in his house became very useful for playing games such as these. He heard all of them scream "Polo!" but he remained silent.

"Steven is cheating!" Jackie cried, and Hyde stuck his tongue out at her, '_brat_' he thought, she would ruin his idea.

"Hyde, that's no fair!" Kelso shouted, he glanced at Donna and Eric who were trying so hard to not laugh out loud, Hyde was standing a mere foot behind Kelso. He sighed softly and decided this was time for him to announce his presence. Silently, he crept behind Kelso until he could almost touch his shoulder.

"Polo," he whispered, close to his friend's ear, then quickly dove backwards and flipped in the water so his stomach was to the bottom, and sped out to the deep end. Kelso whined when he realized he hadn't caught Hyde, and Eric and Donna were laughing hysterically at Hyde's amazing feat.

They played for another half hour, Eric ended up being caught by Kelso. Jackie had been tagged three times yet claimed that it was a rock or seaweed or Hyde stood in front of her, she just didn't want to look bad. Hyde couldn't stand her, and made sure that when he took her turn, he'd get her back; he had. He wrapped his arms around the tiny body he knew was Jackie and opened his eyes; she had no way of backing out, and she was furious. Then, Mrs. Forman came down on the beach and called the group for dinner. Kelso and Eric were the first to retreat, both of them claimed to be starving and they could hear Kelso's war call still as he bolted straight for the tent. Hyde waited for Jackie and Donna to go before him before he got out of the water, Jackie probably was creeped out but it was a kind gesture, he wanted to make sure everyone was all right.

* * *

That night, Red and Kitty went down to the lake for a night swim, and let the kids sit around a campfire, roasting marshmallows and chatting.

"Let's play truth or dare," Jackie chirped, Hyde rolled his eyes and curled his legs to his chest, staring at the fire. When everyone agreed, he made a grunt, which was his way of saying, 'whatever.' "Okay, Donna, truth or dare?"

There was a moment of pause and then Donna said, "truth."

"Do you like anyone?" Hyde smirked and glanced at Donna, who wouldn't look at him.

"No, I don't." He scoffed and buried his head, trying to stifle his laughter. "Eric, truth or dare?"

"Dare." The scrawny boy piped up, sitting close to the fire to try and warm up. Donna grinned.

"I dare you to go tell your parents that Kelso burned his butt." Eric whined at Donna's command, but ended up walking down to the lake, coming back momentarily with a horrified expression.

"They were… kissing!" Hyde laughed out loud and shook his head, Eric was mortified by seeing his parents smooching? Try being in the same car as your parents messing around with each other.

"Good enough," Donna said, then nodded at Eric to speak up.

"Hmm…" Forman paused, gazing around at the group. "Hyde." He glanced at his best friend, whose face was illuminated by the fire. "Truth, or dare?" Hyde couldn't back down on any dare, so he murmured his answer. Eric couldn't think of anything, so Donna whispered in Forman's ear. Hyde's stomach twisted, and he shuddered, wondering what Donna told him to do. He then watched as Forman whispered something to Kelso, who burst out laughing and nodded.

"That's good!" He cried, his goofy grin still on his face.

"All right, Hyde, I dare you to…" Eric paused, Steven felt his heart pound; he knew this would not be good. "I dare you to kiss Jackie!" He heard Jackie giggle and he made a gagging noise and turned away from the group.

"No way, man!" He cried, everyone laughed at his reply.

"Fine, Hyde, I'll just tell everyone about what happened when we-"

"Fine!" Hyde interrupted Eric before he said anything else. "I hate you all," he grumbled, dragging himself over to where Jackie was sitting, in her pink unicorn sleeping bag. She smiled up at him and closed his eyes, not believing he had to do this. "Kelso, are you sure about this?"  
"Go for it! It'll be funny!" There was his one way out. Taking a deep breath, he looked at Jackie, who looked so excited, that it creeped him out. She hated him, so why did she look happy?

"Wait, can I like kiss her cheek?" Eric shook his head, and cackled evilly. Hyde glared at Donna who smirked at him, nodding her head towards the other little girl.

As he leaned in, Jackie closed her eyes, and she puckered her lips, Hyde back away.

"Uh… what are you doing?" He asked, really freaked out by how she thought it worked.

"You were going to kiss me!" Hyde groaned and as she said the vowel in 'me', pressed his lips against hers; the grown up kiss. He pulled away a second later, her eyes were wide, and he wiped his lips, then as he ran into the tent, screamed "Donna I dare you to kiss Eric's butt!"

* * *

Later that night, when Kelso, Jackie, and Eric were asleep, Donna and Hyde lied under the stars, watching the night sky. Crickets chirped and owls hooted, the two friends were silent. Hyde's lips still tingled from what he did and he bit them to try and stop the tickling sensation, Donna had her hands on her lap. They were both staring at two planes flying high above with the stars, Hyde wondered what it would be like to fly so far above the world.

"So, did you kiss Eric's butt?" Hyde teased, Donna shook her head.

"I kissed his cheek." She answered, then punched him lightly on the arm, "That was mean."

"You making me kiss Jackie was mean, man." He grumbled his reply, sticking his thumbs under the waistband of his sweatpants, a habit he did when he was nervous. Donna shook her head.  
"Well you looked really into it," Hyde wrinkled his nose and glared at her, she was smirking.

"Did you see how she was going to kiss me?"

"Yeah, but you kissed her the romantic way…" She sang, he hit his head against the grass again.

"It's the normal way!" Donna shook her head. "Have you ever wondered what it would be like if you weren't well… you."

"All the time, I sometimes wonder what it would be like to be you, Hyde." He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

"Never wonder that, I am one messed up kid." He mumbled, tracing up his stomach, the long scar that he knew was there. "But, I mean, like why were we picked to be us, rather than like… someone else? Why am I me, and not some kid in China?"

"I think you are you for a reason, you wouldn't be how you are if you weren't you." Hyde shrugged, and smiled at Donna softly, who rested her head on his arm.

"Donna…" Hyde warned, yet she just stuck her tongue up at him. "I was hit when I was younger," He whispered quietly, hoping she wouldn't hear him; he had never admitted that to anyone. Her head shot up and her brown/gray eyes were wide with shock.

"Oh my… is that where…?" Hyde lifted and pulled up his shirt, pointing at the scar that was in the center of his stomach. "But that wouldn't be from…"  
"Donna, I was abused; beaten, hit, cut, thrown down a couple stairs…" He didn't mention the one thing that scarred him the most, the one thing he'd never tell anyone, no matter what.

"Why didn't you tell anyone?" She whispered, voice shaking.

"Because… Bud threatened me, but that's how I got my scars, okay?" he whispered, she nodded, embracing him in a tight hug. He smiled, a weight lifted off of his shoulders.

"Thanks, Hyde… you really are someone else, aren't you?" She murmured, he chuckled and nodded.

"Yup, but I think I'm gonna sleep, k, kid?" She wrinkled her nose at his nickname and nodded, yawning herself.

"Night, have sweet dreams about Jackie!" She teased, zipping up her sleeping bag. He glared at her and sighed, staring at the night sky once again, tracing his fingers with his lips, wondering what the hell had broken his first layer.


	12. Summer Daze

_**Author's Note: In a reward for myself as well as you, for me acing my math test when I thought I'd fail, I thought I'd post the next chapter. Hope you enjoy it. The beginning was written for nannygirl, a constant reviewer, and a source of positive feedback. Thanks! :=]**_

_**PS: This is rather short, and pretty fast paced, bear with me on this, please? I'm running low on creativity. I promise better chapters await! I wanted this one done by tonight, so I sort of... sped up the process :(.  
**_

_**Love, **_

_**Angie**_

_**

* * *

**_

_School got out and summer arrived, we kicked things off with a water fight. There we were, just a moment in time. Looking back, it was the time of our lives. It was a summer made of dreams, and it had just begun. Sunrise woke me with a beautiful song, a brand new day in a beautiful world, ran through the backyard's cool morning shadows. My friends next door would meet me by the wall, our lives as free as a fantasy, but wide awake in a dream. I remember the late night barbeques; spin the bottle in the family room, picking peaches from our yard of fruits. You sang La Bamba and I yelled "Shut Up!", tied a string to a beetle, watched it fly like a kite. It was the summer of fun, and you know that's what we had. It was the summer to which I will always look back. We were kids growing up, walking a straight path having the times of our lives…_

That night, Kitty and Red Forman silently crept back up to the campsite, to find all the children sleeping. Jackie had three stuffed animals and was swallowed in a cloud of pink. Eric had his Spiderman blanket over his sleeping bag, Kitty loved how he never parted with it no matter where he was; it was like a security blanket. Red was disturbed to find Kelso's shirt next to his sprawled, completely dead to the world body as he snored loudly. Donna was curled in her green sleeping bag; Kitty was in awe at how Earth tones looked beautiful with her fiery hair. She looked at Hyde who had kicked out of his navy blue blanket and was lying face down. All of them looked so peaceful as they slept, and it made Kitty smile.

"Red, they really are wonderful children," She murmured, resting her head on her husband's shoulder. "I'm glad Eric has them all as friends." Red sighed and held the tent flap up as they both ducked inside.

"I'm sure they'll be a team of dumbasses in the future, that Kelso is just… odd; he needs to go." Kitty clucked her tongue and lightly hit her husband, smiling softly.

"They are all welcome as long as they're Eric's friends, Red. And Michael is a very sweet boy, different, but sweet." She whispered, "Just think of how close they will all be in the future, oh you know Eric and Donna will be together!" Red turned to his wife, with a look of almost disgust and shook his head slowly, lying down on the makeshift bed they had made.

"I say they'll all just be a bunch of hopheads who won't appreciate what their fathers did for them. And what are you, some sort of matchmaker?" He grumbled, closing his eyes, a very faint smile stretched on his lips. He heard Kitty gasp at his words, but they were the truth! He really felt that way.

"Our son and his friends will not do drugs, Red Forman, you take that back," She paused, kissing him lightly. "And maybe I am a matchmaker; I mean I did get the best man in the world, right?" Kitty teased, Red only grinned and held his wife closer to him, and the two soon fell asleep, each having dreams of different futures for the children outside.

* * *

A high pitched, loud scream filled Hyde's ears the next morning. He jumped, startled, and was blinded by the morning sun. There was a slight pain in his neck, and he yawned softly and watched the others begin to stir. Hyde noticed Eric standing, and he appeared to be terrified, and like he was about to get sick.

"Wha?" Hyde asked, still in a sleepy state as he pushed on his sunglasses.

"Spider!" Eric wailed, and Hyde groaned, not believing he had been rudely awakened because of a stupid bug.

"Just kill it Forman, it won't kill you." Hyde mumbled, as he stood up slowly. He twisted his back to each side, and was satisfied when he heard the crunch as his bones popped. Forman only shook his head, and turned even whiter as he watched the black spider crawl towards him slowly. Hyde shook his head and cautiously walked over to his friend, hands folded over his chest as he peered, trying to find the spider that scared Eric half to death.

"But I'm scared of them! They're so creepy with their hairy legs and eyes. What if he tries to-" before he let Eric finished, Hyde stomped on the small arachnid with his bare feet. "-Eat me?" He mumbled as Hyde chuckled, wiping the bottom of his foot in the grass.

"Forman, spiders don't eat humans," Hyde watched as Eric sighed with relief, and smirked slowly; he had an idea. "Flies do." He heard Eric whimper, and Hyde just laughed, going back to sit on his blanket.

Even though it was early in the morning, the sun was already warming everything, and Hyde felt uncomfortable with his clammy skin. He watched as Eric poked Kelso, questioning on whether that was a good idea or not, but wouldn't stop him from doing it. But when the sleeping boy wouldn't wake up, Hyde lost interest and gazed at the lake, the water sparkling from the morning sky, it looked so welcoming. He didn't want to go alone though, so as Eric began to shake Kelso's shoulders in attempt to wake him up, Hyde lightly tapped Donna's shoulder.

He watched her head pop up from being tucked under her arm, and look around wildly, before she focused on Hyde. She then smiled at him and yawned, rubbing her eyes.

"Good morning," Donna croaked softly, Hyde chuckled.

"Do you wanna go swimming?" He asked her, and watched her shrug her shoulders, then glance behind him. Donna's eyes widened and Hyde tilted his head.

"He's gonna-" She whispered, Hyde turned and his eyes bugged out of his head, seeing Kelso with a large toad in his hands. "If you don't want Jackie mad at you… run!"

Both she and Hyde scrambled to stand up and ran to the clothesline Kitty had set up to hang the wet swimsuits and towels on. Hyde knew what Kelso was going to do, and Donna was right; she'd blame Hyde somehow. But, if he was down at the lake, he couldn't have had any part of it. So, ripping his swim trunks off of the line, he waited for Donna to bundle her belongings that she wanted to take down, and the two of them high tailed it to the sand.

Until they heard the scream. Jackie had the loudest, shrillest scream Hyde had ever heard, which scared him because he thought Forman's was loud. He skidded to a stop in the cool sand, and turned to face behind him, curious as to what was going on; and regretted it immediately.

He winced, feeling a twinge of… sympathy for the tiny girl who was now crying, after her boyfriend threw the toad on her head, and began laughing hysterically. How could Hyde suddenly feel bad for the girl who had treated him so harshly yesterday? He glanced towards Donna, who had also stopped, and she had lowered her head.

"What do we do?" Hyde asked softly, feeling very tense from watching the scene up ahead.

"I think… we shouldn't have run," Donna murmured, "Let's go back and you can hit Kelso, and I'll cheer up Jackie, then we can all go swimming again. Okay?" He nodded, that wasn't too bad; he loved a chance when he could frog his friends. But, as they made their way back up to their camp ground, and as he began to go over to Kelso to punch him, he felt a pair of arms wrap around him.

'_What the_?' He thought, glancing down, and groan softly in annoyance, as he realized Jackie was crying on his shoulder. Donna smirked at him, and nodded, mouthing 'lover boy' to him, he just sneered and softly patted Jackie's back.

"Uh… Jackie…" Hyde trailed off, trying to pull her off of him.

"Steven, Michael put a frog on me!" She wailed, sniffling in his shirt. He grimaced and stood there, frozen, unsure of what to do. He wasn't good with his emotions, how could he cheer up someone, especially a girl he couldn't stand?

"Actually," he started, she looked up at him with wide, eyes, the blue and green watery and bloodshot; and he noticed that she had really odd eyes. "It was a toad."

Donna made a noise that sounded like a strangled laugh, and he looked at her, she was holding her hand over her mouth, face red from trying not to burst into a fit of giggles. Kelso stood next to her and was grinning. Why wasn't he trying to comfort her? Hyde figured that either way, she'd end up killing Kelso somehow, but why had he just deserted her? '_Crap_,' he thought, heart filling with dread, '_I care_.' "Jackie… why don't we go down swimming, would that cheer you up?" Her lip trembled and he rolled his eyes, just wanting her to let go of him.

"I want to go swimming in my pool, and then go in a Jacuzzi." Hyde glared down at her, not believing what he was hearing. "But, since that will never happen today, I'll go swimming with you on two conditions." She chirped, Hyde gulped, eyes screaming 'help!' as he gazed at Donna who was laughing with Eric. Way to help him out.

"W-what?"

"You have to find a way to get Michael back. And I want another kiss!" Hyde shook his head and backed away from the girl, not able to take anymore.

"No way, Jackie! No, just… no!" That kiss was seriously going to haunt him, wasn't it?

The sound of a zipper being pulled hushed the group of kids as they all turned to the tent. They would be in big trouble; they had woken up Mr. Forman, and he was not one to mess with in the morning. But, Hyde relaxed when seeing Kitty instead, who looked a little tired, yet was still wearing a smile.

"Good morning kids! Steven, what are you yelling about?" Eric grinned.

"Jackie wants him to do something for her, and he said no." Hyde's face fell from happiness to a glare and pursed lips, while his shoulders slumped in defeat. Now he'd have to do it, and it was all Forman's fault. _He would pay_; Hyde would make sure of that.

"Steven, do what Jackie wants you to," Mrs. Forman ordered sweetly, smiling at him.

"But she wants me to… kiss her!" He barely spoke the last part, and she laughed loudly.

"Aww Steven, that's so cute! Do you have a little girlfriend now?" Hyde shook his head slowly and turned to Jackie who was beaming on the spot.

"Never again," He growled, kissing her like he had the night before very quickly before dashing down the sand to the lake. In a rage, he kicked the sand as hard as he could and took a few deep breaths to calm himself down. He couldn't show his anger, 'zen' he repeated to himself, his eyes focusing on the ripples in the water as the morning breeze lightly graced the surface. Hyde ran his hand through his hair and sighed softly, closing his eyes and just stood by the edge of the water, not going in because he hadn't changed into his swimming trunks, which was really stupid on his part.

When he waited a couple of moments for his friends to join him, but saw they weren't even leaving the circle of sleeping bags and blankets, he snuck behind a row of pine trees to change in to his swim shorts. Even back here in broad daylight, it was more privacy than changing up there by the tent.

He was confused, what was with Jackie being a freaky little girl who wanted kisses? She was dating Kelso, she should just ask him for kisses, Hyde found it rather repulsive to kiss her, and just kissing in general. It was an act of closeness to him, unless you and the other person were completely wasted or high, it seemed all right then. He hadn't ever kissed anyone before though, and now he'd have to say a chick who was shallow, obnoxious, and just his complete opposite was his first kiss; he gagged at that. As soon as they got back to the Formans, he was using mouth wash for five minutes straight.

Hyde walked out from behind the bushes and still saw that he was alone. He didn't want to have to walk back up there and get them for many reasons, he figured they'd all run down here soon enough. So, he tossed his shirt and sweatpants in the sand and slowly walked into that water. It was a lot colder than it was yesterday, but that's because it was still the morning. Hyde actually appreciated the solitude a little; he hadn't been alone in over twenty four hours, and he knew he'd soon start acting like Forman, or worse, Kelso, and he wasn't like that. He sunk back in the water, until he floated on his back, staring at the sky, no sunglasses. The clouds were large, blinding white, and puffy; he was guilty of wondering what clouds would be like if they really were marshmallows. What it would be like to just be in the sky, away from everything, it seemed like the most freedom for anything and anyone.

He then though of his mother, and if she had been all right last night. He laughed at himself at that, and shook his head; of course she was all right, she didn't have her screw up of a son to be in the same house as her. Plus she'd probably had way too much to drink and more than a couple guys over. She was probably in bliss; and so was he.

"I wonder what he's doing," Hyde heard Eric whisper; he must have been spaced off or maybe even fallen asleep.

"What if he's sleeping, we could push him out really far!" Kelso chirped, he heard a splash, and figured it was Donna.

"He's going to have horrible sunburn, you should hit him," He flinched at Donna's words; that would really hurt!

"That means he won't be all gross and pale," Hyde felt like throwing up when he heard the high pitched, prissy voice of Jackie.

"What if he's dead?" Kelso asked with a shaky voice, Hyde rolled his eyes, but remained flat on his back; he was getting a kick out of this. His friends were probably standing in the water, staring at him with curiosity, like he was some exotic animal or something.

"He's not dead, Kelso!" Eric cried, he hated hearing about death, especially since after they went to Hyde's brother's funeral just three months ago. That had scarred him; he never really understood death until then.

"No, he's just at peace," Donna stated, he had to smile. Didn't _death_ and _at peace_ mean the same thing? "But he's probably listening to us now and thinking you're all a bunch of idiots."

"No, please continue," He piped up, voice sounding different to him; like when he was high. He really had reached his ultimate zen point, without pot; sweet.

"Hyde, get up!" Eric started, "or we'll dunk you."  
"Would you really?" Hyde asked with a sarcastic tone, and an eyebrow raised.

"I would," Donna answered, he nodded, smiling softly, knowing that she would remain true to her words if he dared to doubt her.

"Why don't we play mermaids?" Jackie suggested, Hyde splashed her and she pouted.

"Why don't we play who can toss the midget the farthest?" He answered, sarcastically enthusiastic; she huffed and turned away from him. This would begin the hatred between them for a very, very long time.

"Well, I thought it sounded pretty cool." Kelso mumbled, Donna sighed and shook her head, placing an arm around him. He grinned and she winked at Hyde, who shook his head.

"Yeah, you know what I thought sounded pretty cool?" Donna asked Kelso, who tilted his head, curious. Eric and Hyde watched as she wrapped her arm around his head, like in a headlock, and pulled him under the water. Jackie squeaked in terror and Eric laughed a little, but sounded quite nervous when seeing Donna's strength. Yet Kelso fought back, and ended up pinning her under the water, which Eric then went to defend Donna. Hyde was watching his three closest and only friends play fight to see who was the strongest; Eric was automatically dubbed the twig of the group. He slowly glanced to his left and saw Jackie watching them with wide eyes, '_afraid for "Michael" probably,_' Hyde thought, determining whether or not he should join his friends in their… what now resembled a dog pile.

This is what he belonged to, a group of chaotic, hyperactive kids. Friends who were brutally honest, and not afraid to frog each other; which was great for him. It was weird that now, looking at Eric, Donna and Kelso tackling each other that he realized this; he had friends. He wasn't alone. So he jumped right in.


	13. Mad World

_**Author's Note: So I haven't posted in awhile, and I've been sort of suffering writer's block while I wrote the next few chapters. I tried to make them better once I typed them up from my notebook, but I honestly don't really like them. I don't know if it's because of my eagerness to get to the near future chapters that I haven't written, or what, but it's really annoying me because I want to write great chapters for every chapter. So I hope these next couple additions to the story are all right. I've missed posting the past week that I haven't, my dad's house really drained me from creativity though; gee I wonder why *coughcough*. Anywho, so here is the next chapter. And the song at the beginning is one of my favorites, the version by Gary Jules is my all time favorite. So much emotion in that version. I recommend listening to it while reading this. It fits quite well. **_

_**Love- Me!**_

_**PS: Check out this forum, it's a bunch of author's on FFnet and a forum for all of us 70s fans :D**_ _**.com/That70sFanFicBoard/index/ if you're interested. Sign up and join in the discussions!**_

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_All around me are familiar faces, worn out places, worn out faces. Bright and early for their daily races; goin' nowhere, goin' nowhere. Their tears are fillin' up their glasses; no expression, no expression. Hide my head I want to drown my sorrow; no tomorrow, no tomorrow. Children waitin' for the day they feel good; happy birthday, happy birthday. Made to feel the way that every child should; sit and listen, sit and listen. Went to school and I was very nervous; no one knew me, no one knew me. Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson? Look right through me, look right through me. And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad that the dreams in which I'm dyin' are the best I've ever had. I find it hard to tell you, I find it hard to take; when people run in circles it's a very, very mad world…_

Today was just like any other day it seemed. Nothing too much out of the ordinary, this day was just as special as the next.

Hyde woke up to his alarm clock ringing madly; he smashed down on it with one hand to silence the ceaseless ringing that would make his ears bleed if he heard it for more than just a couple of minutes. After hearing the thumping on the wall and the loud pleasure noises of his mom and the next _uncle_ of his from the next room over, Hyde somewhat regretted the decision of turning off the alarm. He shuddered and lifted the blanket off of him as he stumbled out of bed.

Yawning, Hyde stretched his arms and heard his shoulders and elbows crack as he did so. The dingy window blinds in his room had blocked out the sun, but some rays managed to beam through. He tossed his pajamas to the far corner of his room, where all his dirty clothes were. It was just another morning.

Hyde peeked in his small dresser for clothes; it was just a plastic storage container with two shelves, but it worked all the same. His hands fell on his only other pair of jeans that still fit, and a plain brown t shirt; all his others were dirty. He smoothed the wrinkled shirt and grimaced.

Hyde felt no different; just as repulsed by his mother as he was yesterday, angry with himself as always. The same feeling of emptiness and being nothing more than a waste of space, there wasn't anything different. Wasn't he supposed to feel older and more mature? Better than the day before? Hyde glanced at the guitar next to his bed; what he had gotten last year. Things were a lot different then, now he was ignored by his family; that was more of his mom's fault though. Hyde stared at the guitar wistfully, remembering how happy he was when he first played it with his grandparents. That had been the third birthday present he had been given. This year he expected to be home alone, like the usual days. He'd never had a birthday cake, and probably never would, the sting of emotion that used to haunt him when he had that thought wasn't so bad anymore. He was older, he didn't need cake and candles and presents to make him happy. He didn't need a negligent mom, and an abusive, absent father, either. He was happy on his own.

He left his room, eyes averted to the floor, trying to be oblivious to what was going on in his mom's bedroom. Hyde didn't want to be here any longer, besides, there was no point. He had school and would be late; though the thought of playing hooky seemed great. With a grimace, Hyde grabbed his long sleeved, button down plaid shirt and glanced behind him one more time; this wasn't a home. Hyde slammed the creaky screen door shut, and then swung his messenger bag he'd had for the past 4 years of elementary school over his shoulder. The walk to school was only six blocks, and though he could get a ride from Mrs. Forman with Eric, he'd only be imposing. Plus, he wanted to be alone today, and the later he got to school, the better. His hands snuck in each of the flannel shirt pockets, one pulled out a lighter, the other, a cigarette. Hyde knew all of the health risks, but he didn't care; what mattered was it made him feel good. And there weren't a lot of things that did that.

Hyde took a draw and slowly expelled it, not before savoring the taste. He loved cigarettes and smoked them quite a bit for his age. It wasn't to look cool, he was 10 years old; he probably looked like an idiot. It also wasn't a way to speed up the process of his death, which he knew would occur when he was quite young. If his parents were right, he had less than 7 years to kick the bucket, and he was going to live by that. Hyde smoked cigarettes for two reasons; the nicotine calmed him a lot, and they tasted good. Would it kill him? More than likely. Defect his growth? Possibly. Did he care? Not in the slightest.

As he walked up the school sidewalk, Hyde took one last drag and dropped his lit stick, crushing it with his boot heel. He didn't want to be here, even more than usual. It would be difficult to skip though, once he was already in the lot; they monitored him a lot.

The bell rang as soon as he opened the door to the classroom. It didn't count as late; Mr. Johnson didn't care if you walked in an hour after the first bell. Hyde suspected there was more than water in the teacher's thermos. He took his seat next to Eric, who waved excitedly.

"Guess what?" Eric whispered loudly, grinning.

"What?" Hyde murmured in reply, pulling a notebook out of his bag. Hopefully Forman didn't know, or anyone.

"Today is Friday! You still coming over?"

"Yeah, not to stay though."

The loud smack of a yard stick hitting the chalkboard startled Hyde; he hated it when the teachers did that. His eyes, hidden behind sunglasses, glared at the teacher who resembled a scrawny bird with an oversized beak. Mr. Johnson couldn't stand Hyde, and the feeling was more than mutual. If Hyde had to spend more than the usual time with the fruitcake, he'd probably be in the funny farm; and that was no exaggeration.

In his boredom, Hyde picked at the large, gray eraser that was on his desk. He furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at it, an idea popping into his brain. A smirk spread across his face as he bent the eraser in one hand, so each end touched, and eventually snapped in half. Closing one eye, he rested his head on his desk, and propped one half of the eraser up with his index finger, and aimed for the back of Pam Macy's head. He was angry at her because he saw her and Kelso kissing, and Kelso was with Jackie. So, he'd hit her in the back of the head with something that shared the same name as what she'd probably use a lot of in the future; a rubber. His left finger held the gray eraser chunk in place, the other coiled back, in perfect flicking stance. Hyde smirked wider and straightened out his finger, watching as the eraser traveled in the air and hit the back of Pam's light brown hair with a thud. His head was buried in his arm to contain his snickering, and he had seen Eric grin.

"The assignment is on the board, _Steven, Eric_," barked Mr. Johnson angrily, and while Eric nodded in obedience, Hyde just grunted, meeting his best friend's gaze and the two boys smiled at each other. His eyes scanned the chalkboard, and he groaned out loud when reading what he had to do; '_Write a 250 word essay on why you love America_.'

'_Seriously, what's with all this I love the US crap? This country is nothing more than an antagonist with the government somehow controlling all of what we do._' Hyde thought, then jotted down his statement. He wasn't going to lie and say that he loved The United States, and all that the country provided; it wasn't like him to do that. He couldn't stand the country, and he was brutally honest. In fact, the only thing that he liked about America was the first amendment; freedom of speech and religion. He then began to wonder, since he had that freedom, would he be able to say the truth?

So, Hyde began to write his essay based on his feelings, rather than what his teacher wanted; it was expected, anyway. How he despised the government because they were going to brainwash the nation, so that one day in the future they would end up brainwashing the nation to eventually turn the entire population into a bunch of robots who didn't think or do things for themselves. They'd shove rules and laws that could forbid you to even breathe if they so chose to. Not to mention the billions of dollars spent on corporate America and advertising ridiculous objects of temporary satisfaction that would just be stupid trends that eventually died off like every other one. With each sentence, he felt more convincing, more rebellious; he knew it would piss off just about all of the adults he knew. Especially the Republicans. How all of this was in his own mind, he didn't even understand.

By the end of the hour, Hyde had two pages full of reasons that he thinks the government is out to get everyone. When the bell rang, he handed his paper forward, and silently walked out next to Eric.

"Hyde, can I ask you a question?" Eric asked as they walked to their shared locker. Hyde nodded, leaning against Kelso's locker. "Have you ever liked anyone?" He looked at Eric with raised eyebrows, wondering why he was asking him this. The only person he had ever thought was hot was his teacher last year; he and Kelso fought over her… to the point he was giving his best friend a swirly in the boy's bathroom, and his _bean bags_ were being squeezed to death. They ended up making a pact to never fighting over a girl.

"Uh, no man, why?" Hyde asked, grabbing his social studies book. Eric sighed softly and closed the locker door when he stood back up.

"I think I like someone," Hyde smirked.

"Do you get butterflies in your tummy when you see him?" He mocked, yet Eric didn't notice.

"Yeah I- hey!" Hyde laughed at Eric, who realized what he had said as they made their way to the next classroom. After Eric frogged him, he whispered, "No, Hyde, I think I like… Donna." That shocked Hyde. Forman liked Donna, who liked Forman, what was Hyde to do? And why did it matter?

"That's cool, what are you gonna do about it?" Was all he said.

"Nothing, it's nothing. She's like… my best friend, my neighbor, and it's just _stupid_!" Hyde smiled weakly, his stomach dropping; wasn't he Forman's best friend?

"Yeah, just wait… girls are nuts." Hyde mumbled flatly, feeling rather sick as he opened the door to their science class room. He spotted Donna, who waved and smiled, he responded with the same gesture, and then glanced at Eric, who just stared. Hyde shook his head and found a seat, thinking _Forman would never have a chance with Donna_. And something about that made him smile.

* * *

Hyde stared at the plate in front of him and sighed softly. A slice of bread and butter and a piece of bologna, which he hated, on top, and a half a can of peaches was his dinner. The television was on the local channel, and as they talked about council members, Hyde lost interest. He took a gulp from the warm water in the dirty glass he had, and grimaced.

He tried to convince himself that he was happy with this. That he liked the solitude and poor diet, and the neglect. And that everything would be just fine in the morning; it would all just be a bad dream. He'd wake up at age five and cry, and his mom would come in and- his mind stopped there; his mom never did that when he was five. His mom never did that. Hyde tried to tell himself that this was a good thing; being home alone, his mom wouldn't be here for the rest of the night. It was better than having her here with some stranger to claim as an 'uncle'; if they really were uncles, why would they be having sex; was she suddenly into incest? He shook his head of those thoughts and glanced at the clock above the TV, it was already ten o'clock; she was probably shooting up in an alley, or getting laid; if not both. When having that thought Hyde fully lost his appetite and got up from the uncomfortable, stained couch.

Walking into his room, he quickly grabbed his acoustic guitar and headed back to the living room. Maybe playing some music would help cheer him up; he was confused about so much, and felt disgusted with everything… and everyone; mostly himself though. He hoped this was just one of his moods, but he wasn't exactly sure.

Hyde's callused fingers held down the strings as he strummed the guitar. He practiced a few songs he had learned by The Rolling Stones, then a couple of his own. But a rage was building inside of him, one that was caused by the events that happened previously in the day; why couldn't he stop thinking about Donna? And he was alone, though he was always alone he absolutely hated it. It was a constant reminder of what his father told him, since no one was ever there for him… no one really did love him. No one could love him, he wasn't deserving of love. As he stared hard at the guitar, his hands trembling with emotion, he blinked and slammed the instrument down on the ground, not concerned if he broke it or not. Hyde threw himself against the couch and ran his hands through his hair, before burying his face in his hands as he took heavy breaths. He had to get a hold of himself, he was only ten years old and having what he figured was a breakdown. What the hell was wrong with him? All he wanted was to… be loved.

Finally, he did calm down. He had the rage, anxiety and melancholy under control, as well as his thoughts. His eyes were fixed on the floor, his body stiff and almost like deadweight, he felt like he was going to throw up. '_I'm seriously going to end up killing myself with these fucking emotions,_' he thought, shaking his head and chuckling to himself. Alone in his solitude.

Hyde found himself walking in the kitchen, with an idea that he had subconsciously thought of. His hand reached inside the bread bag, and he pulled out another slice of bread. Slabbing some butter on it, he smiled to himself. This wasn't how these days were supposed to go; he knew that for sure. Kids were never alone, they were bright an happy with tons of food and candy and presents and people they love surrounding them. Sure, he had the Formans, and was there earlier, but none of them knew. '_Maybe that's how I wanted it,_' Hyde thought, sprinkling sugar on top of the butter. He didn't want anything big, didn't want people to obsess over it. He just wanted to get a card and a present; he'd never gotten a present exactly on his birthday. He'd only been given presents four times in his life, each time he saw his grandparents. Hyde had never had a birthday cake before, either.

Just as he was about to take a bite of his "treat" for himself, the telephone rang in the living room. Hyde sighed heavily, and made his way back into the room, debating on whether or not to answer the phone. It was probably his mom, calling from a pay phone to tell him she wouldn't be home for a day or two; as always.

"Hello?" He asked softly, sitting on the couch.

"Hyde? It's Donna." Shock ran through him as he heard the girl's voice. How did she know his number? Why was she calling him?

"Hey, what's… uh… up?" He asked her nervously, unsure of what to say.

"Nothing, I just got home from Eric's. You weren't there and I wanted to tell you happy birthday. You're officially double digits, and our age! How does it feel?"

"How did you know it was my birthday?" Was all Hyde could ask, and he didn't want to answer her questions.

"I've known your birthday since your 5th birthday, and it's on the calendar in Mr. J's class, if that makes you feel better." He laughed softly and sighed, wondering how she could always make him feel better.

"Oh well, thanks Donna." Hyde mumbled, not wanting to tell her she was the first and only person to tell him.

"So did you get any presents?" Hyde bit his lip and sighed shakily, unsure of what to say.

"Uh yeah… I got a couple." He lied, trying to make it sound convincing, but he had a feeling she knew it was a fib. How embarrassing.

"That's… good. Wow you're finally ten, so old." Donna teased; he knew she was smiling, trying to make him happier. Well, it was working.

"Ha, if I'm old, then you're ancient." She was five months older than him.

"Shut up!" She cried, laughing, he cracked a smile as well. "So, I'm going to be at Eric's tomorrow, are you going?"

"Uh, sure." He wasn't asked.

"Cool! We can all hang out." Hyde chuckled.

"Sounds good kid, I'm gonna go though. I'll see you then." He didn't really have to go.

"Oh, all right," Donna sounded a little cautious, "I hope you had a good birthday."

"Yeah, it was great." He felt empty.

"That's good. Good night, Hyde." As he hung up the phone, he felt weird. Donna had called him to say happy birthday. She was the only one to tell him. Hyde smiled and stared at the piece of bread that was meant to be the substitute for his cake. His stomach squirmed with uneasiness as he felt repulsed by this whole day. No birthday candles, or presents, or a parent to wish him a happy birthday. No parents at all. It killed him inside.

"Happy birthday to me- oh fuck it." He whispered angrily, chucking the bread at the wall, and then slammed his bedroom door shut.


	14. People Are Strange

_**Author's Note: This one is definitely not my favorite- I tried editing it a lot but I think this one is probably the worst chapter so far. I hope it's not too bad, the next one is better, by a long shot. I wrote this whole chapter when I had writer's block, and I bet it shows. I apologize for this one haha.**_

_**Love, **_

_**Me. **_

* * *

_People are strange when you're a stranger; faces look ugly when you're alone. Women seem wicked when you're unwanted; streets are uneven when you're down. When you're strange, faces come out of the rain. When you're strange, no one remembers your name. When you're strange, when you're strange, when you're strange_

"We're all gonna dress up like we're in The Wizard of Oz!" Jackie cried, "I'm Dorothy!"

"I'll be the tin man!" Kelso chirped excitedly.

"I don't wanna!" Eric whined, leaning back on the couch. Donna laughed and frogged him.

"You'd so be the scare crow." Donna teased, giggling as his face fell. Hyde grunted and put away his lighter, taking a draw from his cigarette. His friends found out he smoked a couple weeks ago.

"That's disgusting!" Jackie squealed, Donna hushed her, not wanting him to get in trouble. "You'd be the cowardly lion," She barked at Hyde. He glared up at her, though she couldn't see through his aviators and shook his head in annoyance.

"Shut up, Toto." He growled, exhaling in her face, hearing everyone start laughing at his joke. God, he couldn't stand her.

"I think we all already have our costumes, Jackie." Donna reminded her "friend thing", she was unsure of what they were.

It was Halloween and the kids were gathered in the basement, waiting to put on their outfits. They were all excited, except Hyde, who just wanted free candy and to scare the crap out of people.

While all of his friends had odd outfits to wear, all he had was a leather jacket and ratty jeans, he didn't know who or what he was going as. Kelso was a werewolf, Eric was Luke Skywalker, Donna was a dead girl, and Jackie a fairy princess ballerina. They each had pillowcases ready to fill, and were waiting until it was 7:00 to get ready; it was 6:49.

Hyde was more excited for after trick or treating. They were all going to stay up all night at Eric's, sadly that included Jackie. Hyde and Donna planned on telling a scary story, and then Hyde would disappear, sneak outside, and freak them all out. It would be hilarious.

"It will take me an hour to get ready, if someone helps me," Jackie declared, Hyde glared at her, feeling on edge and was about ready to strangle her. He needed something stronger. As he smashed the cigarette in the ash tray he brought from his house, he took the home rolled joint and smirked. Donna gasped and frogged him violently, he winced and snapped his head to face her.

"What?" He whispered, she nodded at the stick in his hand and he shrugged.

"Don't," Donna growled, Hyde was surprised she knew what it was. Eric and Kelso turned their attention to the two.

"That looks different." Kelso pointed out, and then left with Jackie to go get ready. Eric was eyeing the joint in his hand, he had a feeling his friend knew it was more than just a normal cigarette. Knowing Donna would hate him if he smoked it, Hyde decided to wait until he was alone; which would be soon.

Hyde watched as his friends dispersed to change into their costumes. Before Donna left, she told him not to smoke the pot. It made him feel like he was letting her down when he lied to her, but if he had to put up with Jackie and hyper Kelso all night, he'd need something to calm him. He wouldn't smoke it all though, just a couple of hits, so he wouldn't be completely out of it. Just… chill.

As he sat on the couch, inhaling the herb, he wondered if his friends would ever do this. Hyde knew he wouldn't let them try it; he didn't want them to go down to his level, with him. If they found it on their own; awesome. But he would have no part of turning them into burnouts like he'd be. A part of him wished he didn't even do this, but he liked the feeling too much to stop. It wasn't addictive though, if he wanted to or needed to stop, he could, and he'd be fine. No detox or rehab for him, he'd never turn to other things besides alcohol, nicotine, and Mary Jane.

About ten minutes later, Donna walked down the basement stairs in a ragged, torn dress. She had drawn scratches and stitches on her arms and face, and tons of makeup. Hyde couldn't even recognize the girl, other than the flaming red hair and her brown eyes. The only part that Hyde actually liked was her hair; it was teased and sort of messy, it made her look edgy.

"Hey dead girl," He was greeted with a hard hit on the back of his head. Hyde winced and shivered a little; he hadn't been hit that hard in quite some time. She probably didn't realize it.

"You smoked it didn't you." Donna grumbled, sitting down next to him, looking beyond pissed. Hyde sighed and nodded, gazing over at Donna. "You told me you wouldn't!"

"Donna, I only did because I want to be calm…" he smiled softly and she shook her head. "I didn't smoke the whole thing either, just like four hits." He mumbled, his thumbs twirling around each other, feeling lame.

"Jerk," She murmured, but smiled at him; she couldn't stay mad at Hyde for too long. Could anyone?

"I'm sorry, Donna." He stammered, holding out his arms for a hug. Donna grinned, not believing he would allow her to hug him, but he wanted her to know he was truly sorry; it was a part of him though. A part of him that he hated more and more but he couldn't hide away.

He felt Donna in his arms and smiled, his heart skipping as he held her. Hyde didn't understand it, but the feeling this girl gave him was… weird. He'd never felt it about anyone else before. It tore him up inside though; she liked Forman, and Forman liked her… and… did he like Donna? All signs pointed that yes, it was positive that he, Steven Hyde had said thing for she, Donna Pinciotti. But he couldn't do that; not to her or Eric, but to himself either. She'd probably just hurt him.

Hyde pulled away from her, his head fuzzy with all of his thoughts, and a frown set on his face. Donna smiled at him, wrapping her arm over his shoulder and he sighed softly. This was brutal.

* * *

The kids arrived back at the Forman's at 10:00, with their pillowcases full of candy and each child had high spirits. As they walked up the driveway, there was a blinding flash, and everyone cringed at the bright light.

"Mom!" Eric whined as they neared the sliding glass door. "Why do you always have to take pictures?"

"You all look so cute! Now, stand next to the Vista Cruiser and smile!" They grumbled at her command, knowing if they didn't listen, she'd take their candy. Hyde stood by Donna and Eric, and couldn't help but notice he was shorter than them, even just by a tiny bit. Just as Kitty was about to take the picture, he held up a peace sign with his free hand. The five were blinded once again, and then once she lowered the camera, they bolted through the glass door to the basement.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" Kelso bellowed, flopping on the couch as he dug in his pillow case, searching for a Baby Ruth.

"Yeah, I had a lot of fun." Eric added, sitting next to Kelso, and patted the seat next to him with his left hand. Hyde watched from his chair and felt a burning sensation within; that reminded him of jealousy. He shook his head and tried to get rid of the feeling; this was so stupid.

"I'm surprised you and Kelso got away with that, Hyde." He smirked and nodded at Donna's voice. Though his pranks all fell through, he shivered, still wet from the water guns, the apples had made up for it. They had gone to a house that ended up giving out apples, and Kelso and Hyde wouldn't stand for that; you weren't supposed to give out nutritious food on Halloween. (Hyde swore it was the government trying to control the consumers.) So, they chucked their apples at the house, which ended up breaking a window, and they all ran.

"Yeah, I'm sneaky like that," was all he said, tying a knot in his pillow case. Hyde wasn't going to eat all of his candy now; not when he smelled cookies being made.

"Uh-huh," Donna mumbled sarcastically, smirking at him.

The gang decided to split up to change in their pajamas before they got too settled in. Once again, Hyde was in the basement, alone, and within two minutes, he was in his blue sweatpants, waiting for everyone else. This happened a lot.

Sometimes, he felt like the odd one out, not that he wasn't, but… even more so. He listened to them talk about things they did with their families; vacations, holidays, or just things that happened at the dinner table… Hyde had only been to Kenosha, only celebrated holidays when he was at the Forman's, and he didn't own a dinner table. When they talked about their crushes, or 'partners', Hyde really had neither; he didn't know what his feelings for Donna were, but he couldn't talk about that anyway, Eric would kill him. He wished sometimes that he could talk about how he felt, and what he went through, but no one would understand, they'd all be freaked out. Sometimes, he was forgotten in conversation, and when he was, he would listen as Kelso told them a story, lying and saying that it was his idea, or he had been the one to do whatever it was, when it was really Hyde. But, they all came to him to vent, and he didn't understand that. Was it because he would listen, and _not_ give advice? He always would listen, but never talked; maybe that's why they put up with him. Hyde whimpered at that thought, and rested his head against the couch.

The sound of footsteps softly creaking against the wooden stairs of the basement brought Hyde back from his mind. He rushed to put his sunglasses back on; he was feeling vulnerable, and didn't want anyone to see his eyes. Yet, when he saw Mrs. Forman, he relaxed a little, and smiled at her.

"Hi Mrs. Forman," he greeted happily, even if it was more than a little fake; she didn't need to know that.

"Hey sweetie, I brought down some cookies for you kids. And I'm making hot cocoa!" He grinned as the woman added a little tune to the last word, and took the plate from her, to set it on the table.

"Thank you, Mrs. Forman." He mumbled, giving her a quick hug. Kitty ruffled his hair and he chuckled, fixing his curly mop.

"Don't worry; everyone else will be down soon. I had to help Donna and Jackie wash off their makeup, and Kelso was stuck in his costume," She reassured, then laughed at the last part, hoping it would make the ten year old laugh. Kitty's smile faltered when he just scoffed a little, with a smirk on his face.

"Figures, thanks Mrs. Forman." He said, really meaning it. She smiled at him, and then ran up the basement, leaving him alone once again.

Hyde turned on the television and noticed it was Tom and Jerry. He was too lazy to change the channel, so he found himself watching the stupid cat try to catch the stupid mouse. After five minutes, Hyde's attention to the television was lost as he dug in his small bag and pulled out a notebook and pen. He jotted down whatever crossed through his mind; he never paid any attention. All he knew was it helped clear his thoughts, so he wouldn't be bothered by them later on.

The pounding of the basement stairs filled his ears, as he heard his friends bolt down to the basement. This time he quickly tucked the notebook away, not wanting his friends to know that he wrote, it would embarrass him. He grabbed a cookie and nibbled the edges while he watched them all sit in their spots.

"Cookies!" Kelso screamed, launching himself at the plate, Hyde shook his head.

The kids ended up piling their candy together and made trades, like Kelso suggested they should do. They weren't sure what they wanted to do after that to occupy their time as they pulled an all nighter.

"We could play The Question Game!" Jackie piped up, "you have someone ask a question and everyone has to answer it truthfully." She glared at Hyde, who glowered back momentarily, before turning to Donna. She winked at him and he took that as a cue to just go with it.

"Okay," Donna answered; Hyde knew he'd go insane by the end of the night.

"I'll start!" Jackie exclaimed, sitting up straight. "What's your favorite food? Mine is French." Hyde made stuck out his tongue and pretended to gag at that.

"Hamburgers."

"Italian."

"Anything edible, except peas."

"Whatever." Hyde mumbled flatly, Jackie sighed and turned her attention to Hyde, her eyes full of annoyance. He just smiled at her innocently, pretending he didn't know why she was bothered by his lack of answer.

The questions were all so stupid and easy, things that the whole group, minus Jackie already knew about each other. Like Kelso's biggest fear was waking up and being ugly, which was _shockingly_ the same as Jackie's. And Eric's was spiders, while Donna's was falling. Hyde wasn't about to admit any of his weakness, so he just said, "I'm not afraid of anything." Which was a lie. He surprisingly did like Kelso's question though, which was, "If you were stuck on a deserted island and could bring one thing, what or who would you bring?" While everyone else responded with "food" or "you guys" or "lotion", Hyde answered, "a cruise ship full of gas and Led Zeppelin on it." They realized that his was the best choice, and it was; he'd be in complete heaven.

"All right," Eric started, after downing two pixy stix. "What's the worst thing that has ever happened to you?"

Hyde froze, eyes widening underneath his shades. He felt his body tense as his mind played visions of his past. He could almost feel the blows as he could see his father beating him, his mom screaming at him. Joe… Chris… his breathing was quick and shallow, his mind swimming, drowning under the temporary trance he was under. He couldn't tell the truth on this.

"When I was little, my dad threw out my favorite dolls on accident. I cried for days." Hyde growled lowly, his anger building and his heart pounding violently; that was her worst moment? She'd probably be long gone if she had ever spent a day in his life.

"When my grandma died, that was real sad." Kelso mumbled, suddenly somber, "We were close."

"The worst thing for me was a tornado at my aunt's house in Kansas. I thought I was going to die."

"Toto, it looks like we're not in Kansas anymore." Hyde teased; Eric glared at Hyde, but laughed a little.

"I think mine was when I found out one of my friends was hurt real bad," Donna said softly, glancing at Hyde, who shook his head. That was her worst moment? Him telling her his biggest secret? He realized it was his turn to share and he bit his lip.

"Uh… when Chris died." Everyone smiled weakly at him, and he felt suddenly suffocated, almost like he wanted to just run from the basement. It sickened him. "Uh… can we do something else?" He looked towards Donna, who nodded.

"Oh, did you guys ever hear about the group of kids on Halloween in California last year?" Donna asked, improvising this whole story. Hyde knew this was going to be good. They were going to scare the crap out of their friends, and then he and Donna would laugh hysterically, and hope that they weren't mad enough to never talk to them again.

"No," Eric whimpered, unsure if he wanted to hear this story. Kelso shook his head, and Jackie looked thoroughly interested in the story.

"Oh, it was brutal!" Donna exclaimed, eyeing each person in the room. "Okay, so there were these kids, around our age, probably a little older. They went trick or treating and around scaring kids, when they went this house with this really creepy clown decoration. The girls were scared, so they decided to go home, and they got back really late…" Hyde began to sneak back, unnoticed. "And they stayed up really late."

"Kind of like us," Kelso interrupted, Donna nodded, watching as Hyde tip toed silently up the stairs; he was a pro at that. If it had been her, they would have been found out immediately.

"Exactly! Well, they were eating their candy and watching a horror move, when one of them saw a clown decoration. He told the boy who lived in the house that their decoration was creepy. And then the boy who lived in the house was like, 'I don't have a clown decoration.' Then the clown was actually from that one house, and was this serial killer, and killed all of the kids." Donna finished, noting the frightened faces of her friends, silently wishing Hyde was down here to see their ashen expressions. He would have loved it; but he was up to something better. "It won't happen again though, the guy was- oh my God, where's Hyde?"

Jackie squealed, eyes filled with tears as she clung to Kelso, who looked rather green. '_Yup'_ Donna though, '_he'd love this_,' She felt sort of bad when seeing Eric about to pass out, but it would be okay, if Hyde go this to work.

"Wait, why did he kill the kids, if he was a cereal killer?" Kelso asked timidly, Donna groaned loudly in annoyance and face palmed.

* * *

"Mr. Forman, _please_?" Hyde asked, staring at his best friend's dad as he watched the weather. Hyde had taken off his glasses and was pleading with his eyes; the old man had to do this!

"Why should I?" The man barked.

"It will… scare your son and Kelso?" Hyde suggested, tossing the bag on the couch; the clown outfit.

"I don't want to dress up as a clown to-"

"I heard you talking about getting rid of Kelso not too long ago, right?" Hyde began, sitting back on the couch, spreading his legs and setting his hands in his lap, trying to look tough. "I've got a proposition to make," He smirked. Red shook his head, trying to not laugh; he couldn't believe a ten year old was attempting to con him; and failing.

"Sit properly and wipe that smirk off of your face. You are not The Godfather." Hyde grimaced a little, with a faint smirk still lingering on his lips.

"All right, well what if this scares Kelso so bad, he's too afraid to come back?" The look on Mr. Forman's face was probably an effect of the battle going on within him.

"Red, just do it, you don't like Michael, anyway." Mrs. Forman tried to help Hyde, and then she walked over to Mr. Forman and whispered in his ear. Hyde had to suppress the violent shudders and his gag reflexes when seeing Mr. Forman grin.

"Hand me the outfit," Red grumbled in monotone, snatching the bag off of the couch. Hyde grinned as the man ran upstairs, then he hugged Mrs. Forman.

"Thank you," he murmured, she ruffled his hair once again, and she nodded.

"I hope this won't turn out bad." Hyde smiled softly."

"Don't worry," Hyde reassured, and somehow that answer from him as all she needed.

Mr. Forman walked down the stairs and Hyde had tried his hardest not double over in laughter when seeing his best friend's father. He looked nothing like the fit, middle aged man he knew; in fact he was actually more than sort of creepy.

Donna had told him to come back downstairs fifteen minutes after she began the story. He and Red both slipped out the back door, prepared for a big scene….

* * *

"The clown! It took him! It had to!" Kelso shrieked, as Eric tossed his friend a plank of wood.

"We'll find him," Eric reassured, swinging his plastic bat for practice. He had horrible aim. Jackie was curled up on the couch with a stuffed unicorn and a pink comforter to protect her from the "killer". Donna couldn't wait for Hyde to see that.

The sound of her best friend's distant scream from outside told her that it was almost time, and she grinned to herself. Jackie sobbed loudly, clinging to the large unicorn, and the two boys were paralyzed with fear.

"That was Hyde!" Eric whimpered, feeling like he would throw up. He couldn't believe that this was all happening to them. His second best friend was out there, probably being tortured by this insane clown, and they could do nothing to protect him. It made him so disgusted with himself.

Hyde ran quickly to the stairs that entered the basement from outside. He hoped nothing had given it away, or it was proved a hoax, and that Donna had done her part well. He had confidence that she more than succeeded; she had a way of convincing people.

Hyde gulped, knowing he'd have to throw himself against the wall and act like he was being hurt in some way. Red just stood at the top of the stairs; Hyde had told him to join him after he was in there for two minutes. So, tossing himself against the stairway, and grunting in pain each time he did so, he prepared for the final scene.

Hyde burst through the door, gasping as he stumbled into the basement, and put on a scared face. He was great at acting.

"Guys! He's gonna kill me! He took me and chased me, and I'm scared man!" A part of him had actually gone back to when Bud still lived with them. Constantly living in a cloud of fear, never knowing when he would be hit or hurt, or if he'd even live to the next morning.

He tried not to laugh when Kelso and Eric, who were armed with weapons that would somehow do more damage to them, were ready to fight off the clown. He and Donna didn't know what else to do or say, so they just stood silently next to their two friends, all of them silent and waiting for the clown's entrance.

When Eric and Kelso would find out about this all being a joke, Hyde was afraid they'd be mad at him, and at Donna. Though Mr. Forman was dressed up, he was just going to say something, and then Donna and Hyde would start laughing, and tell them it was a joke. He didn't want his best friends to be mad at him, but at least he wouldn't be alone on this; at least Donna would go down with him.

The basement door opened once again, the light from the room exposing the clown. Jackie and Kelso screamed in terror, thinking they were going to die. Eric stood in front of Donna, to protect her; Hyde caught her blush and smile widely from his best friend's action from the corner of his eyes, but maintained his determined face.

When they stared at Mr. Forman, each one couldn't really recognize him, but two knew it was the man. It was weird seeing him with a full head of unnatural hair color, with a painted face and a huge red nose, as well as a suit that added at least 50 pounds to the strong man. Hyde thought that Mr. Forman did a great job in scaring everyone, including him a little bit.

"You're all a bunch of dumbasses!" Mr. Forman yelled, throwing off the red wig in his rage, as well as the red nose, and then stomped up the stairs, mumbling to himself.

Eric slowly turned around to face the culprits, who weren't laughing at their joke; both were afraid of what their friends thought.

"Seriously? My dad?" The two lowered their heads, feeling guilty for what they had done. Eric's face lightened, and he cracked a smile. "You let my dad just walk off like that, without getting a picture?" Hyde and Donna laughed with Eric; Jackie was curled up in her blanket still, shaking from her fear. Kelso walked over to the nose and put it on, then started laughing at himself, even though he couldn't see what he looked like. Hyde chuckled and shook his head, frogging Kelso as he rejoined him.

_Yep, it was definitely worth it._


	15. Better Days

_**Author's Note: This chapter was also written when I had writer's block, but I edited this one better than the last one I think. But I guess the previous chapter was a hit... so that's good! :) I hope you enjoy this one... it was hard getting in the festive spirit when it's June and I wanna write about summer... but I ended up really liking this chapter, and I hope you like it as well. :) It's written a little different than usual, with a short scene at the Forman's, without Hyde. :)  
**_

**_Love,_**

**_Angie. _**

**_

* * *

_**

_And you asked me what I want this year and I try to make this kind and clear; just a chance that maybe we'll find better days. Because I don't need boxes wrapped in strings and designer love and empty things. Just a chance that maybe we'll find better days. So take these words and sing out loud, because everyone is forgiven now, 'cause tonight's the night the world begins again. I need some place simple where we could live and something only you can give, and that's faith and trust and peace while we're alive. And the one poor child who saved this world, and there's ten million more who probably could if we all just stopped and said a prayer for them…._

Hyde stared up at the sky, the snow lightly falling. All around everything was white; cars were covered with the snow, everything looked futuristic. He just wanted the snow to go away, it brought this aching feeling in the pit of his stomach; it reminded him of Chris. This would have been his first Christmas. Things would have been so different know if Chris had lived, they'd all be so much better off if the baby were here. He sighed and stared at the ground, bare hands gripping the chain handles on the swing set.

Hyde had to get out of his home. It wasn't Christmas there, the only festive thing had been the eggnog, and that was long gone by 7 in the morning. His mom had her friends over, and after they were all drunk and toasted, they had all gotten a little frisky; and not just with Edna, either. With his dignity at a low, and feeling more than a little nauseous, Hyde had ended up slamming the door of his house and stomped to the place he could be alone, but feel so comforted; the park. It was right across from his home, and he always went there when he needed to get away, and couldn't go to the Formans. He had cushioned himself on the lowest swing, which was known as his swing, and just stared at the playground in front of him. No one ever came here; this place never heard the laughter of children, but he went there all the time. He even slept in the tube slide there for majority of his summer last year, if he wasn't over at Eric's. No one could, or would bother him here… it was his third home.

As he stared ahead, the snow falling on him, he shivered from the cold and sighed, his breath visible; he remembered when his friends and him all pretended they were dragons. Hyde pocketed his hands, as he chuckled at the distant memory, and watched as his feet took the lead. He was unsure of where he would end up, but he knew where he wanted to go, if just for a little while; the Formans. They would have been okay with it, probably, even though he wasn't invited. Besides, he wouldn't have stayed long; he understood Christmas was about family being together and love, not sheltering friends for hours.

Maybe a part of him wanted to see a real Christmas, too. A house decorated, with a tree full of multi colored ornaments and lights, stockings hung by a fireplace, wreaths and mistletoe, and of course presents. Hyde hadn't seen a real Christmas since he was four, at his grandparents, and even that didn't turn out too well. It would be nice for him to witness something like that, if not better.

He gazed at the house before him; there were colored lights outside, as well as inside. Hyde felt nervous for some reason as he walked up the front porch of the Forman's home. Would he be interrupting them? His hand hovered over the doorbell, as he fought with himself on whether to ring it or not. A part of him just wanted to leave them alone; they probably wouldn't want to deal with Hyde. They would probably feel awkward; the happy family wishing a happy Christmas on their son's broken friend. They would know he was having a horrible holiday, and they'd pity him; he didn't want that. He should've come with something, and then it wouldn't have been so weird for them all. Hyde just decided to leave them be; they could go on forever remembering just another merry Christmas. His nerves were out of control, anyway, and he didn't know what he would say to them when they answered the door. "Hi, I just decided to invade your home on Christmas because my mom and her friends are in a gang bang and I was about to be a part of it, and I didn't really like that idea. Oh yeah, merry Christmas! I'm your present!" wouldn't go well with them, that was for sure.

Sighing softly, he brought his arms closer to him and turned around, walking down the set of stairs. As he reached the last step, his ears perked as the Forman's front door creaked open. Taking a nervous gulp, Hyde slowly turned around, and smiled weakly. Mrs. Forman stood before him, dressed in a red knit sweater with a reindeer on it, a green skirt, and a Santa hat.

"Hello Steven! What are you doing here?" Hyde bit his bottom lip, and shrugged, unsure of what he was supposed to say.

"Uh… well I just came by to say merry Christmas… but… uh I didn't want to um… bother-" Mrs. Forman glowed and grinned as he spoke and waved him to come back up the stairs, inside.

"Oh, Steven, that is so sweet! Come inside for awhile, did you walk all this way? You must be frozen!" Hyde sighed, feeling like he was just intruding on their family Christmas, but obeyed her anyway.

"I've been colder," he replied, it was the truth.

Hyde followed Kitty inside their house; he was unable to look at Red or Laurie, because he knew they'd be upset. Eric was happy to see him though, which made him feel a tiny bit better. He was so amazed at the scene in front of him; it was exactly how he imagined it. The tree decked out with beautiful glass ornaments, garland, and lights, tinsel everywhere, festive decorations all over the room, gift wrappers strewn across the floor from the now unwrapped presents, plates from a hearty breakfast eaten in the living room; he didn't know they did that too. He half expected to see little elves running around their home with little hats and colorful outfits, directing where the presents went. It warmed him inside, and he was so happy that his best friend was having a great Christmas, there was no jealousy.

"Hey Hyde!" Eric cried, tossing his Lego set aside, rushing to him. Laurie sneered at Hyde momentarily before going back to organizing her makeup kit.

"Don't you have your own house to be at, Steven?" Red barked, Hyde shrugged, but he knew Mr. Forman knew the truth. That he was searching for a reason to stay away from his house, that he knew he could be welcomed here. Hyde half hoped that he would allow him to just stay, rather than send him back out in the cold… but Hyde could do that to them.

"Yeah… I'm just… uh sorry. I just want to visit you real fast. Didn't mean to bother you." Hyde stammered quickly, feeling his face heat in embarrassment.

"He probably came by to steal presents and food, seeing as he has neither," Laurie drawled, Hyde lowered his gaze, and was about ready to burst through the door from humiliation.

"Laurie!" Kitty gasped, looking at her daughter in horror as she heard what the girl said.

For some odd reason, it nice to be in their home today; even though he was probably more than unwelcome. At least Kitty and Eric's warm smiles comforted him, and the scent of food cooking made him want to stay even more. He could even hide out in the basement if they wanted him out of the way. It would be so much better than home. But, he knew deep inside that he couldn't do that to them, no matter how much he wanted to. Even if Kitty suggested it… he'd leave.

"It's okay, Mrs. Forman… I should probably go anyway," Hyde mumbled, shifting so he faced more towards the door. Kitty clucked her tongue and shook her head, as she looked at him, with a 'you've got to be kidding me' look.

"Steven, you walked all this way, I don't think any of us would mind if you stayed for a little while… if that's all right with you." He glanced up at her, and saw she smiled warmly as she gazed at him. Hyde felt the corner of his lips tug upwards and he felt a weight fall from his chest… he could stay.

"I… couldn't…" he trailed off, "it's Christmas, you need to spend time with your family, and I should be…" who was he kidding, if he left he'd just wonder the streets until it was too cold for him to handle.

Hyde heard Mr. Forman scoff, and he turned his attention to him, and watched as the man shook his head with a small smile on his face. Then, he looked at Hyde, with a disbelieving look.

"Steven, you're here all the time enough as it is, it… won't hurt if you spend a holiday with us." Red smiled at the boy.

Hyde couldn't believe it. Red Forman even agreed to let him stay over on Christmas; this was the best Christmas, ever! He couldn't hold back the grin that was dying to show itself, and he was so excited and happy that he trembled on the spot; he felt giddy. This was great, he would be with people who really did care about him, and they actually wanted him there with them.

"Thank you," was all he said, but the two adults knew how much it meant to him by just looking at his face. Kitty just smiled with him, and hugged him; of course, he hugged back; as always whenever she embraced him.

Eric grinned at Hyde, happy that his best friend was able to stay. But he didn't understand why he wasn't with his mom. Sure, Eric knew Hyde's family life wasn't good; actually it was just awful… but didn't his mom want him at home for Christmas? But instead of asking Hyde questions, he just plastered a wide smile on his face and wanted to make his friend happy.

"So, Hyde, how was Christmas at home?" Eric asked innocently, not wanting to cause any feelings to arise or any awkward tension. Hyde's smile and warm eyes faltered and dulled, and he looked at the floor. Mrs. Forman paled at what her son asked; she knew he didn't mean anything by it, but that wasn't a good thing to mention. Hyde sighed and shrugged, trying to act like it was no big deal, and chuckled a bit.

"It was…interesting." Hyde replied nonchalantly, as though he wasn't bothered by Eric's question, but he felt uneasy… it was the opposite of what Forman's was like, he wouldn't even understand what was going on at his house probably. He heard Laurie scoff and murmur something under her breath, the words 'drunk', 'whore', and 'disgusting' were evident in her quiet rambling. Hyde just gave her a look that read 'exactly' and she smiled a little, which shocked Hyde; it was like sympathy or that someone understood. And the thought that Laurie could actually comprehend some of what he went through made him want to puke until he passed out.

"That's cool," Eric chirped, hoping to make a good recovery, "it's awesome that you're here though, we could play with some of my new stuff if you want. I got this cool game and some Legos." Hyde smiled softly and shrugged his shoulders, not really feeling up to playing with Eric's toys. Thankfully, Mrs. Forman probably caught that, and helped him out.

"Eric, honey, why don't you and Steven play outside? The snow is perfect to make a snowman or-"

"Snowball fight!" Eric cried, both of the ten year olds eyes lit up like fire, and mischief was written all over their faces. Eric then ran to the living room closet, and pulled out a navy blue coat, with gloves. Hyde hoped Eric didn't mind being torn away from his presents; he really would have been up to anything. Even if it meant building the Jedi village or whatever the hell they lived in, he didn't know. It would have been a hundred times better than sitting in his own room, alone.

As the two boys made their way outside, Hyde felt a soft hand on his shoulder, restraining him from moving any further. He closed his eyes and tensed, feeling his stomach pull as he felt like he was transported back home. But when he turned around, he saw it was only Mrs. Forman with stern eyes, but a smile on her face.

"Hold it, mister," She barked, he did as he was told. "You can't go outside with that jacket, it's much too thin! Borrow one of Eric's coats so you don't catch pneumonia."

* * *

"Mrs. Forman, thank you, but I can't." Hyde declined her offer, smiling sadly at the woman, who was practically begging for him to stay for dinner and the night.

"But Steven, you are more than welcome to eat here! We have more than enough food, and you can sleep in Eric's room tonight, I'm sure he won't mind." Mrs. Forman offered, hoping that he'd decided to stay at their house, it would be so much better for him than walking back to his home in the cold and being confronted with God knows what. "I made a great dinner, and your spot at the table is calling your name," she tried to tempt him, but he only chuckled.

Hyde glanced into the kitchen and saw Mr. Forman, Eric, and Laurie sitting patiently at the table, waiting for Kitty; not him. He didn't want to interfere more than he already had; this was their family Christmas time.

"I would love to stay, but I really can't. This is your family time… I should probably spend time at home, anyway…" Though Hyde knew he'd just sit in his room avoiding Edna and anyone else who was at his house. Kitty looked at him with worry etched in her face.

"Well… if you insist, but I can give you a ride home." Mrs. Forman pressed him, hoping that the final offer would make him stay. But, he just shook his head and slipped his arms through the sleeves of his blue jean jacket.

"Nah, it's not too far… I'll be okay," he paused, hugging Mrs. Forman. "Thanks," the rest of the words were there, but he wouldn't say them. She kissed his forehead and he scrunched his face in disgust; but deep inside it made him feel more loved than ever.

"Fine, but call as soon as you get home, okay Steven?" He nodded and waved his hand before leaving the Formans home.

The woman sighed heavily, and watched as the small boy walked down to the sidewalk, shoulders hunched and head bowed low. If only he had decided to stay. Closing the glass door, she turned around and joined her family at the table, all of them taking a glance at the empty spot that would have held their guest of honor.

"Why did Hyde leave?" Eric asked, "he knew he could stay, he told me he wanted to." Her son sounded upset, and Kitty understood that he knew more than what they all thought he did.

"Honey, I think he just felt like he needed to be home," The ten year old scoffed at that, as he chewed on a piece of honey glazed ham.

"I swore that kid was gonna stay, I don't think he should go back to that poor excuse of a home of his." Red barked, looking rather upset as he nibbled on the meat on his plate. Kitty knew the true words behind what he said; he was disappointed and sad that Hyde hadn't stayed, and that made her smile. '_Finally, one of the kids that Red approves of,_' she thought.

"Just give him time, daddy… he's like a raccoon… sneaky and cute and smart… he knows where the good food is at." Laurie chimed in, and that made Kitty smile even more; her daughter complimenting her food? And caring about her younger brother's best friend? There must have been something going on, Kitty decided. But she just laughed nervously and nodded, hoping that, even though Laurie worded it quite oddly, that her daughter was right after all. 'That's a first,'

* * *

Hyde glanced back at the Forman's house, watching with pained eyes at the happiest family he knew. Mrs. Forman sat down at the table with her kids and husband, all of them talking and laughing, sharing conversations he never would imagine with his mom, and of course not his dad. Then they had all bowed their heads and held hands as they prayed to the God above; he wondered if they always did that. After the moment of somber, they carried on with their happy conversation once again; they were all so freakin' happy. Hyde knew that if he had been there, they'd be worried about making sure he was the one smiling rather than themselves. Besides, they had given him the best Christmas yet, and for that he was truly thankful.

Walking down the sidewalk, Hyde found himself consumed in his thoughts; he was worried about what would happen when he got home. If the night continued to go well for him, he could just go home and right into his room to fall asleep. And if it went bad…he'd be minced meat by the end of the night probably. As he considered both options, he realized that neither seemed pleasant… especially the latter of the two. IF he went home, he'd only be alone, on Christmas, or abused by the men in the residence, and his mother as well, and that was the last thing he wanted. He also knew he was more than welcome at the Forman's house, unlike his home.

What would they think if he walked back to join them for the night? Would they get annoyed with him being at their house again? Would they even care, and just leave him to go on home? Hyde took a deep breath and pushed back the doubts he had as he made his way back to their home. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be humiliated, but he'd at least take the chance, and hopefully it would end well.

Biting his lip, he walked passed the garage, to the side of the glass door by the kitchen. Before he knocked on the door, Hyde paused to watch the family once again, before he made his final decision. Would they mind if he was with them? He couldn't ignore the fact that they all looked happy, talking as if they had no care in the world.

"So, you came back after all, huh? Had too much fun at your house?" Mr. Forman asked gruffly, smirking as he stood by the opened. "I told you, Kitty." Red smiled softly at Hyde, who smirked back, face reddened in embarrassment.

"Uh…"

"Come on in, Steven, we've got a plate set out for you," Hyde tilted his head, following the man into the kitchen.

"We knew you'd come back, you're like a raccoon," Laurie told him, he glared at her through shaded eyes, but wouldn't stay anything. He took the seat that he usually did, in between Eric and Mr. Forman, and smiled at them all; which told them more than he could ever say, they all understood that.

"Thank you," he whispered, and the two adults just glowed.

"Merry Christmas, Steven," Mrs. Forman whispered, kissing his temple once again, and this time, he didn't cringe.


	16. I'm Sorry

_**Author's Note: Sorry this one took so long to post; I've been dealing with a ton. Let me sum of my past four days: Helping a friend figure out his relationship with my former best friend, then her breaking up with him (in three days I've talked 18 hours on the phone), doctor's appointments, dealing with my dad, insomnia, writer's block, fixing things around the house, taking care of my dog and a bunch of other stuff. I don't really like this chapter to be honest, but I didn't like the Halloween one, either, so hopefully this one will turn out like that. This one has a bit of me in it, in the second part... can anyone guess? It's a really funny part, if that helps. **_

**_I also realized that this story will have a ton of chapters. I'm only at the 10/11 stage, and this story will probably go up until he is like 30... I know I'm not going to write a chapter for every episode, just ones that were really important... and I might be changing some things... I'm debating on changing what happened in season 8 or not... what do you think? Give me some advice about this... because I'm really confused... :P_**

**_Thanks for viewing this, again, and I hope you like it!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie._**

* * *

_I'm sorry, I don't mean to remember. It's true that I dream less often, I'm not ashamed of that long December; your hand's coming down again. I close my eyes and brace myself_  
_I only noticed your face; no matter what you're gonna build my shell and leave the salty taste. I'm falling, I'm shedding my skin but it's not time I'm told. I am aware of what you mean by then; I'm only ten years old. My scars are yours today this story ends so good I love you and I understand that you stood where I stand..._

"STEVEN!" Hyde growled at his mother's hoarse voice screaming at him from the living room. She was drunk again and fooling around with some random guy on the couch, the third one over today. On the plus side they were getting more money, the downside of that was she spent most of it on drugs, alcohol, and other things for her, like clothes and accessories. He patted his dog Ringo on the back once before crawling out of his bed and stepped over the clothes and papers littered across his floor. Opening the door, he walked down the short hall way and into the smoke filled living room, his stomach twisted as he saw his mom in nothing but her undergarments, as well as the disgusting guy she was with. It was all he could do not to throw up; this whole situation disgusted him... his mom was a whore.

"What?" he mumbled flatly, folding his arms over his chest as he glared at the couple on the couch, both of them more than happy. Hyde wondered if his mom knew what this guy looked like, really, or if she was too drunk to even care.

"We need more drinks, NOW!" Edna snapped at her son, waving her arm towards the kitchen. Hyde just shook his head and scoffed in annoyance as he felt his legs move towards the small kitchen. He flicked the light switch, the dim light showing the dirty room full of trash and dirty dishes… he'd get to it eventually. Reaching in the fridge, he grabbed three beers, and then kicked the door shut roughly.

Hyde stopped in place, close to the entry way from the kitchen to the living room. He stared at the cans in his hand, then into the living room, and smirked softly. His eyes gained a glint of mischief and as he set the third can, for him, down, he held the two, one in each hand. The cold aluminum felt nice in his callused hands, and he gave a toothy grin before shaking the cans vigorously in his hand. He could feel the pressure of the liquid build from the inside of the two cans and then he juggled them momentarily, to toss them into the opposite arms and smiled at his handy work. Now, time to proceed and watch.

Entering the living room, he kept his eyes away from his mom and the third stranger in their house that day. Trying hard to bite back the smirk on his face, he set the beers on the table and heard his mom make a noise, he was unsure if it was gratitude to him, or the guy. Fighting back the violent shudders of disgust, he sluggishly made his way back to his room; he wanted to see his small prank work. Soon the soft pops from the cans was heard, and then loud fizzing and shrieks followed. Hyde began to laugh quietly, biting on the top of his wrist to keep silent as he heard the scrambling of his mom and "gross guy number 43", Hyde named him just then, to the bathroom to wash the alcohol off of their skin. He felt better after doing that, like it had been some sort of justice to himself, or maybe just a way to stay entertained and have a laugh. Either worked.

Hyde closed the door to his bedroom and sighed softly; his good deed of the day was done. Leaning against his door, he tilted his head back and just laughed as he enjoyed the moment. He couldn't hold it back, and couldn't deny how good that had made him feel… a little act of getting back at his mom, as well as that guy… it was perfect. Until….

"Where is that little fucker?" Hyde heard his mom hiss from the hallway, he took a deep breath and pushed himself off of the door, knowing at any second she would just burst into his room. As soon as he sat on the bed, his door shot open, slamming so hard against the wall he swore the room shook.

Edna glared at her son with fury blazing in her eyes like wildfire. Hyde noticed she was so angry that she was shaking, and usually that didn't end well. The man stood behind her, looking about ready to strangle, and the ten year old just sighed softly, giving them a weak smile.

"Yes?" he asked innocently, earning a slap on the face from his mom. His cheek stung from her smack, and he moved his jaw to help ease the tingling.

"Why did you fucking do that? You can't do a fucking thing right, you're worse than your father," Hyde scowled at his mom's words, and felt his shoulders tense with his anger.

"Don't you ever say that," he growled lowly, glaring at his mom with darkened eyes. "If one of us is like him, it's you, ma." The slap he felt was harder than the first and he winced slightly, but didn't lose eye contact.

"Watch what you say, boy," Gross Guy Number 43 barked, Hyde just scoffed and turned his glower to him now.

"Who're you to tell me what to say?" He snapped; standing up, ready to have the usual fights he did on the weekends. "You're just some fat horny guy my mom met in the fucking alley and you're gonna be gone tomorrow with some other whore you found, so why don't you just-" Before Hyde could finish, the man rose his fist and swung at his jaw. There was a loud popping that filled the room, and Hyde doubled over, hands on the right side of his face, his cheek throbbed in pain and he trembled softly.

"Why don't you learn some respect, you little bastard?" The guy bellowed, hands gripping Hyde's shirt sleeves and violently pulling him back up straight. Hyde just stared at the guy, in complete disgust and shook his head.

"Look who's talking," He retorted acidly, curling his fist at his side. One thing Hyde had learned from the past from his father was how to punch correctly. Though the pain from the last blow made his whole face feel like exploding, he was defiant; he wasn't going to just submit.

Hyde whimpered as the man shoved him into the wall, his head smacking against the corner, almost like whiplash. This was just like his dad, except he'd never had the courage to defend himself, to fight back… like now. Hyde gritted his teeth, a shock of pain went through his mouth, and he braced his shoulders.

"Don't you fucking touch me," he warned flatly, the guy just laughed, and his mom watched silently from a few feet of the way. She wouldn't help him now; she was drunk and pissed off at him, so why should she care? But Hyde knew she was going back to the days where Bud acted like this, and even worse; and he wondered if maybe she was afraid of speaking up to this guy.

"Dave…" His mom whispered, trembling on the spot, her eyes widened. The man (now known as 'Dave') turned to her and tilted his head. "Don't."

Hyde felt his throat tighten and his breath catch as he heard his mom speak. He didn't expect her to stand up for him, so why had she? He could take care of this situation on his own, without her help, and she didn't care about him. If she had… things would be different. She stopped giving a fuck about him as soon as Chris died, and nothing would change that.

"What did you just say? I thought you hated this little screw ball?" Dave spat, turning to both Hyde and Edna as he spoke. She just wrapped her arms around herself and looked towards the floor; she looked cornered. Hyde felt his heart beat quicken, and his breathing grew shallow as he clutched the back of his aching head. What the hell was going on?

"Just stop… I don't want this to-" Hyde watched the scene play out like the movies you can't stand to watch, but you just have to finish. Dave struck his mom hard across the face, and he felt his breath hitch as she fell to the floor, shaking softly. Both of them were thinking the same thing, he was just like Bud… but a complete stranger who shouldn't be there. He was drunk, he was disgusting, and he sure as hell didn't belong.

Something inside of Hyde snapped he wouldn't stand around and watch his mom, who he had no respect for, get beat around; she was still his mom. They were family; blood and blood always looks out for each other… in his eyes. His mother practically hated him, could stand to witness her son get abused, but he couldn't do the same thing. He wasn't his mother, and he wasn't his father; he was better than both of them. In a sense he was gullible; even though his parents did nothing but hurt them, all he wanted was them to be all right, and he felt that someday things would get better.

Taking a deep breath, Hyde balled his fist once again and clenched his teeth, eyes burning with anger as he purposefully tensed his shoulders. Dave stared at him as Hyde pulled back his right arm and threw the punch as hard as he could at Dave's jaw. He felt his knuckles hit the cheek bone, and felt some sort of satisfaction from the violent contact, until Dave grabbed his wrist and twisted it. Hyde bit down on his lip as he felt the muscle in his arm pull so it could contort to how the man was turning it; he was defenseless.

"You need to learn some respect, boy," Dave hissed with repulsion, forcefully gripping his hands on Hyde's shoulders and shoved him across the room. Hyde stumbled on the many piles on the bedroom floor, and lost his footing, he yelped as his head made contact with the corner of the window sill, and all blacked out.

* * *

"Guys… I need to talk to you about something really important." Kelso announced, as Eric, Hyde, and him were gathered in the basement, setting up Eric's _Mouse Trap_ game. Hyde grunted in response, reaching and grabbing the pieces of the contraption from Forman's hand, then set up the last of the pieces correctly. Eric grimaced, feeling bad that he still couldn't put his game together properly, after having it for five months.

"What is it?" Eric asked, propping up his head on his hands as he lied on his stomach on the basement floor.

Hyde wasn't interested in hearing about Kelso's dilemma with girls. The eleven year old hadn't even hit puberty yet, and he also found it funny that Kelso considered Jackie and Pam serious relationships, when they still only did the _pucker_ kiss. Though, he was shocked that he had people who crushed on him, with the head gear and all. But he'd be forced to listen to what Kelso had to say anyway, he had no other choice, unfortunately.

"I think someone in our class is hot." Hyde groaned loudly in annoyance, hitting his forehead against the cold cement floor of the basement. He contemplated putting himself out of his misery, but figured it wouldn't work; he'd just have a headache, and he didn't want to deal with that. He had finally gotten rid of the one he had from the night before, the bump on the back of his head still hurt a little… as well as his jaw.

"Who?" Eric asked, clearly interested. Hyde shook his head, not believing that his two friends were actually having a conversation about girls. They were _acting_ like girls!

"Donna." Hyde and Eric's eyes both met as soon as the name was heard; both of them feeling the same thing. Eric's eyes flickered with some sort of rage or jealousy, one that Kelso didn't catch. Hyde felt the same thing, but it was hidden with his sunglasses and the grimace that was always on his face.

"Good luck with that," Hyde grumbled sarcastically, leaning against the side of the couch. "Are we going to play this, or not?" He quickly wanted to change the subject, and hoped that it would work… but unfortunately, it didn't.

Kelso shook the dice in his hands, to figure out who went first. He rolled a three, and passed the small cube to Eric, who rolled it around in his hands momentarily.

"Oh come on, Hyde, I'm great with the girls. And Donna would only like someone like me-"

"You have Jackie," Eric interjected, tossing the dice on the board cautiously, to not trigger the trap; a five.

"Well so! She doesn't go to our school! She will always love me, anyways." Hyde scoffed at that and shook his head, carelessly dropping the dice onto the cement floor, either way they'd have a turn, it didn't matter anyway; two.

"Great morals, man," Hyde growled, flicking the dice to Eric, who smiled at what he said, and agreed. "Listen, I know Donna's type and you're not it. You like girls like Pam and Jackie, annoying high class chicks, and Donna's like… cool and stuff." Kelso glowered at him, but he didn't care, it was the truth. She would date Forman before Kelso; Hyde knew that was more than true. But he just couldn't see her being with either; she was a girl who wouldn't be tied down to anyone… he didn't think she'd ever be with someone. And that was cool. Besides, they were only ten and eleven… they had a long time to figure out romance crap.

The boys continued to play the game, Kelso rolling the usual fours and occasionally a five or a two, and he was actually winning. Hyde didn't care much, but he found it slightly annoying that he always won, it made Eric really edgy; they were all really competitive.

"When can we all go back upstairs, Forman?" Hyde asked as he moved the red mouse up five, and gathered three cheese pieces, then saw his best friend nod and smile, did he even hear his question? Hyde tried again, "Did your mom give a time for when your party is?" Today was Eric's birthday, he was now eleven; Hyde was once again the kid in the group that wasn't the same age as everyone else, and he hated it.

"I don't know, she said Laurie will come down to get us," Eric answered, picking up the yellow mouse and moving it up two spaces, then was able to move to the next cheese picture on the board; now he was winning. "I can't believe I'm already eleven."

"Oh it's no different… I can't wait till I'm thirteen!" Kelso exclaimed, taking a bite from his popsicle. Hyde chuckled at the two, but stopped as he rolled a six- onto the dog bone. Kelso began to laugh hysterically as he held back the swinging foot with his finger to trap Hyde. They all watched as the set began to unfold, showing all the little steps it needed to undertake before finally dropping the small plastic cage to catch the red mouse. Hyde shrugged at his loss, not really caring about who won or not.

The basement door opened and Hyde glanced up, smiling widely when seeing the person; Donna. It was funny how she always appeared just after talking about her. He was glad to see her though, sure he had fun with Kelso and Forman, but now he needed some… calm time, and Donna could always help him with that.

"Hey guys," Donna called, sitting next to Hyde on the floor as they disassembled the game, Eric still going on about how he won the game and it was destiny because it was his birthday. Kelso grinned at her goofy, and Hyde smiled at her softly, and gave a little wave of his hand. "I wanted to come talk to you guys before the party, hope you don't mind."

"No, not at all!" Kelso cried, and Donna laughed nervously and bit her bottom lip.

"Thanks, Donna." Eric said, smiling warmly at her, she grinned back and Hyde looked away, trying to figure out how to rid himself of this feeling he had whenever she was around. He just wanted it to go away, it was like this disease that kept lingering and it was slowly killing him. Seeing Forman and Donna smiling at each other… killed him.

"From what I saw your party looks awesome, your mom went way out for your birthday this year." Donna informed, and Eric lit up at the sound of that.

"Did you see what kind of cake or ice cream there was?" Donna nodded, a smug smirk on her face. "What?" She shrugged her shoulders and continued tossing in the pieces from the game into the box.

"A hint?" Eric pressed, Donna turned her head up to the ceiling as she thought about a good hint, one that he wouldn't get.

"Not telling," Donna answered, Hyde chuckling at her answer as he continued to toss the game pieces into the box. "It's a combination," She finally mumbled, still staring at the ceiling

They all started a conversation about summer and the last couple days of school. It had been a quick year for everyone, but nothing much had happened. All of them decided they wanted more excitement in their lives but they didn't know how or what to do; something that would be rebellious and fun, something they could do without getting caught. Kelso made the suggestion of hitchhiking to Canada, Eric's was sneaking into the public swimming pool at night, Donna's was steal her dad's car when he was at work, and Hyde just stayed silent. He'd done all of them, minus hitchhiking to Canada, but it had crossed his mind on occasion. He knew something that all of them could do that would be so easy to do, and was the most illegal of any of those options; they could smoke pot. But he wouldn't drag his friends down to that, he had told himself that when he first started; they had to find it on their own.

Before they could debate on which of the three ideas they would end up doing, footsteps creaked on the stairs, and the kids turned their heads to see who it was. Eric grinned when seeing it was Laurie; only because that meant his party had begun.

"Mom told me to come get you little dorks, Eric I'm supposed to ask if it's okay that I leave." Laurie announced as she stood on the foot of the stairs. She was dressed in a way that wasn't meant for her little brother's birthday party, more like a night out with her friends, or a special someone... or two. Hyde shuddered at the thought, as he was reminded of his own mother.

"Yeah, that's okay Laurie," Eric answered with a bored tone; he was distracted over something. Hyde figured that he was trying to figure out what kind of cake he had; he shoved the thoughts of his last birthday out of his mind.

'Don't feel sorry for yourself, it's your best friend's birthday,' Hyde told himself, standing up with the rest of his friends.

The four of them scrambled up the stairs behind Laurie, all of them wanted to join in on the party, but each for different reasons. Eric because it was his time to shine; it was his birthday after all, and he wanted his presents. Kelso wanted to get outside quickly, because he had a feeling there would be either a monkey, or a ton of puppies; at all the outdoor parties he had been to, they always had dogs. Donna was excited for Eric, he was turning eleven, and she wanted him to see his present that she had gotten; she had a feeling he'd love it. And Hyde just wanted cake and food; he hadn't eaten last night or earlier that morning, and soon his stomach would be screaming.

Donna opened the sliding glass door in the kitchen, and the four of them bolted out into the backyard. Mr. Forman was grilling hamburgers and hot dogs for the guests, and Mrs. Forman was finishing the organization of the cold food, beverages, and presents. There were streamers, colors, and orange picnic table covers; Eric's favorite color. And to Kelso's excitement, there were a couple of dogs that relatives and friends had brought along. There were about twenty five people, all of them there to celebrate Eric's birthday. Hyde felt his throat tighten, he just had to tell himself the Forman's were loaded with money; he knew they were well off, even in these times.

A loud shrill squeak filled Hyde's ears and he stiffened; he couldn't believe his luck.

"Michael! I made it! My daddy had time to talk to the maids after all!" Eric, Hyde and Donna passed around the same look as they slowly turned their heads. Jackie stood before them in a purple skirt and pink shirt, with fancy white sandals. Hyde wrinkled his nose; she reeked of hairspray.

"But I didn't invite her," Eric whined to his friends, who just snickered, even though they were annoyed themselves. They could hear her chattering with Kelso, who was sitting with the dogs, petting them.

"That sucks, man," Hyde mumbled, smirking at Eric, who just glared at him.

"Maybe if you ignore it, she will go away," the two boys laughed loudly at what Donna said, Hyde was glad he had friends who had a good sense of humor. Donna glanced at Hyde quickly, eyebrows knitting the longer she looked at him. He suddenly felt a little uncomfortable and turned to Eric, wanting to start up a conversation. But before he could, Mrs. Forman ran up to them, with a wide smile on her face; Hyde silently wondered how stressed she got while planning and preparing this party.

"Eric, sweetie, guess what Donna's father suggested for your party? You're going to love it! It will be here in five minutes!" Mrs. Forman squealed, and Eric's eyes lit up.

"What, mom? You can't just do that! Tell me!" Eric begged, Donna and Hyde chuckled at their friend who had so many surprises thrown at him. Though Hyde wondered what it was as well, he wouldn't bother anyone by pleading for the answer. He hoped it was something cool, like a band or something, but he doubted they would have that for their son's eleventh birthday party, maybe for his eighteenth; Hyde had hope for that.

"You'll just have to wait! Oh, Steven, Donna it's so great to see you both," Hyde could tell she was in fact very stressed, she was probably freaking out inside that something would go wrong, but what could? They had a lot of food, a lot of people, tons of presents and decorations, everything that would make a successful party except-

"CLOWN!" Kelso screamed, laughing hysterically. Hyde paled. Yes, he had Red dress up as a clown for the Halloween prank, but that wasn't too bad; he knew the person who was behind the makeup and the suit. Hyde wasn't just afraid of clowns, he was terrified; ever since he went to the circus with his grandparents when he was three, and a clown talked to him. That night he had a nightmare that he was killed by a mob of clowns in their tiny clown car; and ever since he was terrified of them.

Donna was laughing, she liked her dad's idea, and Eric had run up to give his mom a hug. Hyde stood there, trembling, trying to just look at his feet, and pretend that there was no clown; but he couldn't pretend for the rest of the party. He didn't notice that Donna had left either, and that he was standing alone, until he felt something cold and wet on his arm. Hyde jumped and turned his head up, relaxing only a little when seeing it was Donna.

"Hey, are you okay, Hyde?" Donna asked him nonchalantly, trying to keep it cool and not let him know she was concerned.

"Yeah, I'm fine, why?" He replied, taking a sip from the lemonade she had given him.

"You look sort of sick, and you have a... shadow on your cheek." Hyde just shrugged his shoulders, not feeling up to answering her questions. "You weren't hit again, were you?" Donna whispered to him, but he continued to stare straight at driveway. He wasn't sure where the clown was, and he didn't want to move his gaze and end up looking at it even for just a few seconds. He'd prefer Jackie staying a week at the Forman's with Hyde than having to be anywhere near a clown.

"I hate clowns," he mumbled flatly, still looking ahead. Donna started laughing, and that's when he shifted his gaze, to her. He tilted his head, feeling embarrassed for admitting his fear, because she was laughing; she probably thought it was stupid. "Stop laughing," he whispered quietly.

"You're afraid of clowns? But we did the Halloween stunt together,"

"It was Red, and it creeped me out then but it wasn't so bad." He responded, her laughing quieted to a soft chuckle and she just looked at him.

"I can't believe you, Steven Hyde, are afraid of something." Donna added, splitting a large cookie Mrs. Forman had made and held it out for Hyde. He took her offer and smiled at her, then nibbled on the treat slowly.

"Well, I'm only human, Donna. I'm afraid of... a lot of things," he mumbled, wondering why he was always so open to her. It confused him, almost scared him. He didn't want to like her, he couldn't like her it was... basically illegal in their group of friends. Wasn't it?

"True..." she trailed off, turning her attention to Eric, who was marvelling his cake. "That was ice cream cake," she mumbled to herself, then looked back at Hyde, who smiled at her weakly. "So, tell me Hyde, did you get hit again? You can tell me," He just shrugged his shoulders, taking a look at Mrs. Forman who was now taking a picture of her son, who had the biggest smile on his face. Hyde felt his heart twinge, as he wondered why he never had anything like this. Why his mother didn't care. He didn't want to think about it though, especially not today

Hyde looked at Donna, who was waiting for his answer silently, but would wait until he spoke. He ran his hand through his hair, unsure of if he should just lie to her or tell her the truth; but he knew the answer deep down. He trusted her, and knew she wouldn't tell, she was the only one who was always there for him; he owed her that.

"Donna, I-" He lost his attention as he watched one of the dogs zip by, with Kelso chasing after it with crazed eyes, until he bumped into Hyde, making them both fall down. Jackie and Donna both gasped as they watched the two boys fall, Hyde being crushed by Kelso, who landed on top of him.

"Hyde I am so sorry, man!" Kelso apologized quickly, then winced as he got off of his friend, "I skinned my knee."

"Kelso, you moron!" Hyde barked, rubbing the back of his head; a new headache was pounding and he was really annoyed right now.

"Are you okay, Michael?" Jackie whimpered, rushing to her boyfriend and hugged him tightly, he laughed softly and nodded, patting her back.

"Yup, nothing too bad," He responded, Hyde sneered and frogged his friend, who turned to glare at him.

"Steven, you need to watch where you stand, I can't believe you hurt my Michael!" Jackie hissed, then dragged her boyfriend over to the picnic table with all of the food. Hyde shook his head, not believing what just happened. He was being blamed for Kelso's stupidity and immaturity?

"Hyde, are you okay?" Donna asked quietly, knowing that he wasn't in a good mood. He blinked a couple of times, and rubbed the back of his head, hoping it would help relieve the pain a little.

"Yeah, Donna I'm-"

"I saw you fall, little boy, are you okay?" Donna bit her lip to keep from laughing, and Hyde gulped, turning around slowly to see a large, rainbow haired, face painted clown. He squeaked and nodded, feeling his heart quicken and he just wanted to run.

"Uh, I think you should go talk to birthday boy," Donna told the clown, as she tried to help Hyde out. She didn't quite understand his fear, but if she had been faced with her fears, she'd want the same thing done for her. As the clown shrugged and walked away, Hyde sighed heavily, and hugged Donna.

"Thank you," He whimpered, then started laughing out of nervousness. Donna chuckled and shook her head, and hugged him a little tighter.

"Anything for you," She responded, and he smiled at that. Hyde pulled away from her, suddenly feeling awkward, and he cleared his throat, as his cheeks heated. Donna smiled at him and he pocketed his hands, eyes turned toward the ground once more. "So, will you answer my question?" She asked him once more, she had decided that if he didn't give her an answer this time, she wouldn't press the issue. She just wanted her friend to be okay.

Hyde closed his eyes and bit his lip, once again contemplating on telling her the truth or not. He then looked at the party, saw Eric smiling and laughing with some family, Kelso and Jackie playing with the animals, the guests all talking and having a good time, even Red was joining in on conversations and jokes. Hyde then turned to Donna and saw the worry in her eyes and the concerned look she had and he sighed.

"Now isn't a good time, Donna," He finally mumbled, and she nodded.

"You're right, Hyde." She responded, they both smiled at each other, then he smirked; an idea popping into his head.

"Is there some way we can get rid of that clown?"


	17. Issues

_**I just figured I would post another chapter today because I am nice and once again I won't be posting anything for a couple days. I have a camp out party I'm going to, which will remind me of the Summer Daze chapter :P. Anyway, I actually like this chapter, this one is funny and I hope that you guys enjoy this one as well, and I'll hopefully have a bunch of new chapters to post when I have the time! I also have a poll on my profile, to vote what YOU want me to do for season 8 because… I'm stumped on that one, except I have ideas for each option. So go check it **__** Now I need to go to bed because it's currently 3 in the morning and I have to get up in 4 hours to help set up a camping birthday party… yay me!**_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie **_

_**

* * *

**_

_I'm unconsiously unconscious; why am I filled with hate? I'd like to blame my parents; I'm sure you'd do the same. Swallow the hurt, spit out the jerk that's too afraid. I turn the page to a chapter that they thought was just a phase; but it consumed me. You're right I am a failure, and when my life turns to shit, it won't have anything to do with the fact that it's all you ever taught me how to do. So you can relax! Without feeling, without breathing, now I'm leaving. Turn the page: I've been hiding, drowning; I've been running, starving. I've been feeling nothing…_

The morning June air was already hot and sticky, even at nine in the morning. The heat was getting unbearable, Kelso had given up wearing shirts, not that he minded, and the girls wore shorts and tank tops to try to beat the heat, Eric and Hyde just suffered silently in their jeans and t shirts. Hyde had actually tried walking barefoot when his boots got too warm, and after walking on the asphalt, he ended up with blisters, which still hurt three days later.

As the gang walked to the park by Hyde's house, he hoped Jackie and Donna wouldn't find out that he lived here. He was embarrassed of his home, and his friends would laugh at the shack of a house. Hyde gave off a calm, careless ease, acting as though he'd never seen this area unless it was in passing. He tore his eyes from his run down, shabby house, and stared silently ahead of him.

"Hey, doesn't the ice cream come around today? Does anyone have money?" Eric asked, bounding up the hill to the play ground. Donna, Kelso, and Hyde shook their heads, the older three slowly turning to the tiny raven haired girl. She placed her hands on her hips and turned her head to the side, as she stared at them with narrowed eyes.

"Just because I'm rich doesn't mean I have money! And why would I want to give it to you people?" Jackie snapped, and then pointed her nose in the air. Hyde raised his eyebrows, then took a glance at Donna, who had the same expression on her face. The two smirked at each other before looking back at the younger girl.

"Jackie, if you give us the money, we will make Mr. Forman take us to the pool, _and_ I'll get you your favorite kind of popsicle." Kelso chimed, hoping this would work. Hyde sneered at his friend who was bribing his annoying girlfriend, and shook his head in disbelief. They didn't need the stupid popsicles, anyway, and he didn't want to go to the public pool. If Jackie gave them the money, he was sure that his potential good day would be ruined.

"What's my favorite?" Jackie barked, her question being a quiz on Kelso's listening skills.

"Grape, with vanilla ice cream inside." Kelso answered confidently, giving a goofy grin when Jackie squealed and hugged him. She dug $5 from her pink purse, and handed it over to Kelso. Donna took it from the older boy, and stuffed it down her pocket; he would have lost it somehow.

"Why did we bring her along again?" Hyde grumbled flatly, with a scowl on his face. Eric and Donna shrugged their shoulders and snickered softly as they walked to the play set.

"So she'd pay for stuff?" Eric suggested, making Hyde scoff and hide his hands in his pockets. This was going to suck.

While the rest of the group ran to the slides, monkey bars, or play sets, Hyde sat on his swing. He watched his friends running and laughing as they chased each other. They all looked happy, and he wanted to join them, but something held him back. Maybe it was that he was so close to home, he was afraid of being too loud and end up getting in trouble, or he didn't want his mom to somehow see him. He never asked for her permission to go anywhere, he always just did it and told her when he was leaving; just like her. Hyde thought it was stupid that something was dragging him down, he didn't want it, but he just felt weird.

For some reason he felt like he was being imposed on; maybe it was a bad idea telling his friends about the park. It was like his third home, he slept here a lot, especially now that it was summer and he wasn't wanted at home. He wondered what his friends would do if they realized that the slide Kelso was trying to climb up was where he slept at night. Or the scratches in the paint were from him dealing with his anger. It felt odd that they were so oblivious to the fact, but of course they didn't know, and he wasn't about to tell them.

Taking a jump off of the swing, he landed on his feet, and walked onto the large play set. The pebbles on the ground crunched under his boots as he walked towards the stairs to join his friends in whatever they were doing. He found them in the middle of a game of magic, Donna was the one who was 'it' and he quietly tip toed passed her, to find Eric.

"Forman," he whispered, tapping him on the back. Eric turned around and pressed his finger to his lips, silently telling Hyde to be quiet. "Can I play?" he mouthed slowly, so Eric could lip read, and he nodded, smiling.

"Finally," Eric mouthed back, Hyde just shrugged and smirked softly.

When Donna was finished spinning in circles ten times, she walked forward blindly, staggering slightly as she overcame the dizziness. Jackie started giggling when she headed towards no one, but when Donna heard the girl laugh, she spun around and smirked. Kelso, Eric, Jackie and Hyde cleared out of where they were hiding, Hyde lifted one foot onto one of the bars and pulled himself up on the set with his hands, then hopped over the top bar. Eric ran to the stairs to join his best friend, and Hyde just chuckled when Donna heard his footsteps. Kelso and Jackie stuck together, and Hyde was surprised that they had been 'together' for a year; how much longer would Jackie be around?

Donna ended up tackling Eric to the ground, and they both wrestled for a few minutes. Jackie looked disgusted at Donna's actions, and Kelso was cheering for Donna to beat up Eric. Hyde just watched the two play, and a small smile spread on his face. Biting his lip, he hopped down from where he stood, next to Kelso. Jackie's eyes widened when he just fell right next to the taller boy, she looked at him with curiosity.

"Why are you so weird?" She finally asked him, Kelso closed his eyes and looked down, laughing silently to himself at his girlfriend's question. Hyde pulled his sunglasses down a little, his eyes meeting hers; giving her a look that read 'did you _really_ just ask me that?'

"Why are you so annoying, Toto?" He barked back, she wrinkled her nose and turned away, then snapped around and kicked him in his shin. Hyde bit his lip and stamped around on one foot a couple times before flipping off the nine year old. But he couldn't help but be a little surprised at how hard she could kick. Kelso was now laughing in hysterics, and Hyde sighed heavily before punching his friend in the arm.

Donna and Eric were grinning when they approached the other three, they had witnessed the whole scene from their wrestling match; Donna had won. She wasn't sure who she thought won their little match, Hyde had a good comeback, but Jackie had a wicked kick; and the older girl had a feeling she'd be using it a lot in the future.

The gang silently glanced at one another; Eric had a red mark on his face, Donna smudges of dirt on hers, Kelso's upper body was resembling a lobster, Jackie had her 'pouty face' and Hyde was bent on one knee, rubbing his shin, with a nasty scowl on his face. But his face lightened when seeing his friends not looking their best themselves. They all began to smile, and soon laughter from the five children was heard, each of them laughing for no reason, but it felt necessary.

From a ways up ahead, the high dinging song from a truck was heard, and Kelso's face lit up.

"Guys!" he screamed, barreling down the hill, followed by the other four, "the ice cream man!"

* * *

After getting their popsicles and ice cream, Jackie begged to go to the pool; it was getting hot anyway, so they decided to head home. Hyde felt suddenly nervous as they walked by his house; he'd need to get his swimming trunks, since none of them had planned to go swimming today. Kelso and Jackie's houses were on the way to the swimming pool, and Donna lived next to Eric, and since they were here now-

"Hey… don't we need our bathing suits?" Hyde stammered suddenly, the four turned to him and nodded. His cheeks flushed red and he took a deep breath.

"We were just going to get them on the way to the pool," Eric answered, Hyde tapped his foot in nervousness; here comes the ridicule.

"That would be pointless, man, not when I'm so close to my house." Jackie's eyes widened and Donna felt an ache in her heart; Kelso and Eric had been to his house a couple times before.

"Oh, okay." Eric answered, knowing that his friend probably felt ashamed. "That's cool, do you want us to go in with you?" Hyde scoffed and shook his head.

"Nah, man, you know that would be a death trap," He joked sarcastically, not looking at either of the girls.

He glanced up at his house and put on his normal strut, acting like this didn't bother him at all. But inside he was mentally kicking himself, harder than Jackie had, which was saying something. He felt like he just wanted to crawl away, but he wouldn't; if they were true friends, they wouldn't care if he was dirt poor.

"Hyde!" He turned around, and saw Donna running up to him, he shook his head. "I wanna go in with you,"

"No, Donna, you don't." He answered coldly, turning around before he heard her answer. He felt a strong tug on his arm and he growled softly, eyes narrowing as he turned to Donna. "Why? You don't want to go in there, kid." She glared at him and punched him roughly.

"Whatever, Hyde, I'm going in there and I don't give a damn about what you think," Hyde was too shocked that he had heard her curse, that he didn't notice her push her way passed him.

"Donna, wait!" He finally shook his head back to reality and ran to catch up with her as she opened the screen door. "You don't want to-"

Donna looked around the slightly cleaned house (well, there wasn't anything dirty, and there wasn't trash littered anywhere at least) with slight curiosity. The room reeked of alcohol and funny smelling smoke, there were lines of white powder on one of the TV trays and a whiskey bottle ¾ empty. She then looked at Hyde who looked about ready to throw up and she smiled softly at him.

"So, this is where you live?" She asked him nonchalantly, but really it bothered her; a lot. Her best friend lived in this kind of environment? It was disgusting!

"Yup," He mumbled, grabbing her hand and running to his room. He didn't want there to be a chance where she met his mom.

"And you're taking me to your room?" She joked; he laughed softly and turned to look at her, smirking devilishly. Like he did with Jackie, he pulled down his sunglasses so she could see his eyes and she laughed as he wiggled his eyebrows, giving her an 'oh, you know it' look. "I see how you are," she lightly hit him and he shook his head.

"You see my charm, I brought you into this house and into my large, spotless bedroom and will woo you," He joked, making her giggle and slugged him once more. "I'm just kidding, yeesh," Donna realized that his sudden joking manner was really his nerves, he was worried that she would be afraid, or make fun of him. "Stay here," he mumbled, opening his door a crack so he could slip through, he closed it a little, and Donna sighed softly. The door opened once more and her jaw dropped, eyes warming as she saw the dog. "This is Ringo,"

"Like Ringo Starr?" Donna inquired, smiling.

"Exactly," Hyde answered, and then left the door open for her to peer in. She saw the room looked so much better than the rest of the house. It was so much cleaner; she always imagined Hyde being a messy kid, but maybe living in a filthy house made him the opposite. It wasn't completely spotless, but it looked nice. Her eyes fell on the mattress with the sheet and cotton blanket, and her lip trembled; that was all he had as a bed? And where were his dressers and desk? "Having fun marveling at my wonderful room?" He asked, joking once more, she just smiled weakly.

"Is it hard?" She asked and he tilted his head; what did she mean? But before he could ask, a door slammed open.

"Donna… get in here," he growled lowly, she bit her lip and he slammed his door shut, leaving her in his room.

"I thought you fucking left," Edna snapped, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I needed my swim trunks," Hyde answered, heart beating rapidly. He didn't want his mom to find Donna, what would she say to her? And what if his mom had someone here? What would _he_ do to her? Hyde felt sick at the thought, and he glanced to the screen door; Eric, Kelso and Jackie were out there, also.

'_Oh. Shit._' He thought, panicking.

"Well, don't you fucking come back until Tuesday like you said, you bastard. I have a few people coming over and you know what happens when you're here," the nausea got worse as he nodded slowly.

"Yes, ma." Hyde opened the door slowly and Donna peeked her head out. He motioned for her to follow him and the two of them walked down the hall to the living room together. When his mom was no longer talking, he figured she just went into the bathroom or the kitchen, so they would have been in the all clear.

"Who the fuck is that?" Hyde stiffened when seeing his mom finishing a line of coke, and he turned to Donna, who had paled at the spot.

"M-my friend Donna, she just came in real quick with me," Edna wiped her nose and stood up, staring down the two kids. Was she already high?

"Oh, I remember you. You were the little red headed bitch at my baby's funeral." Hyde felt his anger rise as he heard his mom speak. "I bet you're just as bad as this little rat," He felt his mom's claw like nails grab the back of his neck and Hyde heard Donna whimper in fear.

Hyde was furious. Not only was his mother about to hurt him somehow, in front of Donna, but she had insulted the girl he cared about most; hell, the only girl he cared about. Donna didn't deserve what Edna had said to her, and he knew both of them wouldn't just stay silent and let her bitch them out.

"What did you just say, Mrs. Hyde?" Donna asked in disbelief, her anger rising. Hyde knew that wouldn't get through his mom. He felt the harsh slap against his face and he tensed, Donna looked terrified. "Don't touch him!"

Hyde knew that it would only get worse, if Donna talked. He had to take matters into his own hands. So, he stomped on his mom's bare foot with his boot heel, then twisted the hand she held him with, whilst digging his fingernails into her flesh.

"Don't you ever talk to any of my friends like that, EVER! Especially Donna, you fucking bitch," Hyde shouted, he was even scaring himself a little, he never acted like that; so how scared was Donna?

Edna just glared at her son.

"Donna, we should leave," he whispered calmly, she nodded; he noticed she was trembling slightly. She looked about ready to cry; and he didn't want her to. Hyde squeezed her hand in reassurance and whispered apologies to her, she smiled weakly and nodded.

"Don't you fucking come back, you fucking bastard!" Edna screamed, Donna ran down the front porch, and Hyde slammed the screen door with his free hand.

"I won't, fuck you, ma!" Hyde bellowed, jumping off the stairs, then ran up to his friends. "Sorry guys… uh… didn't mean to take so long." They nodded, each of them silent as they continued on their truck to the Forman's home.

"Donna," Hyde mumbled in the Vista Cruiser as they traveled to the swimming pool a half an hour later. She turned to look at him, she was better than when they were at his house, but she still looked scared. "I'm sorry about what happened, it's not-"

"Don't you dare lie to me, Steven Hyde. You know that happens all the time, but are _you_ always like that?" Donna asked him, he shook his head. "Thanks though… for standing up for me. I'm sorry you have to go through that." Hyde chuckled and shook his head.

"Oh, that was a good visit," He said, half joking. Donna whimpered and he patted her shoulder, and then stared out the window.

Eric and Kelso were in a game of rock papers scissors to pass the time in the short car ride, while Jackie was talking to Donna about some girly mystery book she read that she thought the older one would like. Hyde propped his head on his hand which was leaning on the door handle as he looked outside. The ride was less than ten minutes from the Forman's house, especially with Red driving quickly so he could get back home to do whatever Red does.

Soon Mr. and Mrs. Forman dropped off the five kids at the swimming pool, and four of the five grinned excitedly, while the last one just scoffed. This place was more fun when it was at night, free but most of all; illegal. But he walked up with the money in his pocket that he had gotten while he was at home; he found it ridiculous that you had to pay to go swimming.

"What's so fun about these places anyways? People pee in the water, man and that's just sick." Hyde grumbled as they waited in line to pay for their admission. Jackie gave him a disgusted face and Kelso laughed.

"That is so gross! No one pees in pools!" Jackie cried, kids turned to look at her.

"Well, I do," Kelso exclaimed, Eric, Hyde and Donna all three burst out laughing, loving the irony of the situation.

When they all paid, except Jackie who had a season pass, they all went in the shower rooms to change in their swimming suits. While Hyde and Eric went into two bathroom stalls to change, Kelso just undressed like he was in high school locker rooms, which made the two other boys laugh even harder at their friend. Like he had when they went camping, Hyde changed into his black swim trunks, but kept on his shirt; except it was a Rolling Stones shirt rather than Led Zeppelin. Then Kelso and Hyde waited for Eric who had to shower off before he went in the pool to get rid of his germs; and then he would come back and take another ten minute shower, in his swim trunks again. Hyde wanted to tell his friend that those showers were probably never cleaned and probably had just as many germs as the pool itself and it would just be smarter to shower when he got home; but he didn't have the heart to. He'd be dealing with clean freak Forman for two months and that was something he never wanted to deal.

The three met up with Donna and Jackie who were waiting outside for them to get out of the shower rooms. Then the five friends set down their towels on the cement and set their belongings on top of them, so the towels wouldn't fly away. Hyde was sure that the contents in Jackie's purse would be able to hold down everything, that bag looked like it was about to just split right there; he wondered what that girl _had_ to carry with her. Kelso, Eric and Hyde all cannonball-ed into the water, while Jackie lied out to get a tan, and Donna just jumped off the edge, into the 5 foot zone.

They decided to play monkey in the middle, one person staying out until the person in the middle got out, and the person who was safe, switched with the one out. Hyde tried to have fun, even though he was still upset by what happened at his house, and that he'd rather be out in the lake with only a few other people rather than a confined, chemically altered pool that was over crowded and over priced. But, it was Jackie's idea, and Lake Waconda was at least an hour and a half drive; the Forman's wouldn't want to drive out there just for him. So he joined in with his friends and tried his best to have a great time.

Eric had the ball and was going to throw it to Donna, Kelso was in the middle and Hyde had switched places with Eric so he could play. He leaned against the edge of the pool, watching his friends with his sunglasses off. The sun was glaring on the water's edge, which made it hard for anyone to see. Eric tossed the ball, and Hyde moved his head with his eyes as it flew way over Donna's head, a little ways away from Jackie. She didn't even look up from her tanning. The rule that everyone had was if it went out of bounds, whoever threw it had to get it. So, Eric swam to the edge and climbed out of the pool to retrieve the ball.

"Jackie!" Donna called, the younger girl sat up from her pink and white towel. "Why don't you come in and join us?"

"No, are you stupid Donna?" Hyde hissed, "She'd have to be out with me." Donna grinned even more, which made him contemplate bashing his head against the cement. "Hey, Forman, the ball is not going to hurt you! Come on, man!" Hyde barked to his friend, impatient for him to get back in the pool. When not hearing a reply or comeback from Eric, Hyde sighed and turned, he figured he was having issues with picking the foam ball up. And if he had to get out and grab it, he was pushing the moron in.

But what he saw made the same rushed and panicked feeling pass through him, and he was sure he had turned a little ashen. Two boys, who looked a couple years older than all of them, were crowded around the scrawny eleven year old, and they looked about ready to beat him up. Hyde wasn't about to let that happen; but he was getting sick of all of this violence and standing up for people today, he didn't mind, but he didn't understand why it was needed. Each day the world pissed him off even more. Sighing once more, he told Kelso and Donna he would be right back, and he hoisted himself up onto the cement walkway with his arms. Standing up he shook his head from the chlorine water and with hunched shoulders, he made his way to the much taller boys and his best friend.

"-Why aren't you answering, kid? You scared or something?" One of them asked, shoving Eric's bony shoulder.

"You should be more scared for not answering, you little nerd." The other growled, gripping his shoulders, and Hyde shook his head and tapped them on the shoulder like nothing was going on. He knew the two boys, they were cousins who lived a few houses down, and he was surprised to see them there. They were more of the type to pick up girls in their shabby truck and fuck them for hours on end, and steal beer from houses and have parties in this abandoned house. He wondered if they were here only because they wanted to pick up girls.

"Oh hey, John, look who it is! It's the little fuck boy from across the street!" Brandon said to his cousin.

"Yeah, the Hyde kid, what you doin' here? Shouldn't you be at home getting' on everybody's good side so they take it easy on you?" Hyde saw Donna and Kelso had gotten out, they both watched their two friends with the bullies. He hoped they couldn't hear what they were saying.

"What are you doing to Forman?" Hyde asked acidly, trying to switch the situation around.

"He ain't answerin' our questions, so we were thinking about making him scream… like you." John replied, Hyde felt his stomach squirm, and Eric looked at Hyde with fear and curiosity.

"If you touch him at all, you will regret it." Hyde warned; the boys started laughing at his threat, and he scowled once more.

"What are you gonna do about it, you little ass fuck?" Hyde shook his head and looked away, acting like he was just going to walk from the scene. "Look at him, the little pussy boy runnin'-"

Hyde gritted his teeth and quickly punched John as hard as he could, his fist connecting with the older boy's nose. A cracking was heard and John fell to the ground. Jackie squealed from the background, and Kelso and Donna looked sick.

"Now, Brandon, stop fucking around with my friends and saying shit about me, or you'll end up like Johnny here, okay?" Hyde smiled at Eric, who grinned back, and the teen just stared at him. Brandon raised his fist, and Hyde closed his eyes, preparing himself for the contact, but right as he began to lung his fist, a loud thud was heard.

Hyde opened his eyes to see both of the bullies on the ground, hurt. He was confused though; he hadn't hit Brandon, so why was he done? Hyde looked up, and his mouth dropped in total awe. Behind the teen was a little raven haired girl, with one blue eye and one green eye, and a smug smile.

"J-Jackie?" Hyde cried in shock, the girl just giggled and shrugged.

"He interrupted my tan."


	18. Sulfur

_**Author's Note: I hope this one is okay, I liked writing this one but as I re-read it like I usually do, I have my doubts. Maybe I'm just weird, I don't know but I did have a lot of fun writing this one… I know it skips over a whole year but it just… I don't know. I'm so excited to get to a certain part that I'm getting close to, and I didn't feel that there was anything important to touch on in that whole year time span. I'm going to a concert on Friday so I hope to have something up tomorrow but if not I'll just finish the other one shot I have… I honestly don't know what to do next for this as I'm all caught up in my notebooks…:( we'll just see where my mind takes me… **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**

* * *

**_

_My guilt and my shame always sell me short; always feel the same. And my face and my soul always wear me thin; always under control. But the longest hours you'll have in your life are the ones you sit through to know if you're right. So I'll wait, but I pray that I'm wrong, because I think I know what's going on. So let me get this straight... the only will is my own; I do whatever I want and stay alone. All my decisions make it untouchable and tainted, I'm gonna suffer for the rest of my life, but I will always find a way to survive. I'm not a failure, but I know what it's like, I can take it or leave it... or die. My life is undone; and I'm a sinner to most but a sage to some. And my gods are untrue; I'm probably wrong, but I'm better than you. And the longest hours I've had in my life were the ones I went through to know I was right. So I'm safe, but I'm a little outside, I'm gonna laugh when I'm buried alive. You don't always know where you stand, till you know that you won't run away. There's something inside me that feels like breathing in sulfur..._

A year had passed by with little excitement in Hyde's life. Most of his days were spent slacking off or being with his friends and just having fun. The nights were always tense, with screaming matches that lasted up to six hours, finally dying down around three in the morning. There was always some kind of drug in the house, and his mom was gone a lot more; usually it was only two or three days, but a couple times she was gone for a whole week. Hyde didn't mind so much when Edna wasn't there, but at the same time, he needed her to pay the rent and the bills. Nothing happened that was unusual for Hyde, no life altering events of the sort. He didn't mind that though; he liked the simplicity of everything.

One thing that had occurred to him though was everything was beginning to change for him. He realized the first week in 5th grade that Donna had 'boobs' as Kelso said, and he and his friends were looking at older girls a lot more. Eric was still weirded out by the opposite sex, but Kelso and Hyde sometimes walked around with each other by the middle and high school to see the teenage girls. Plus he himself was going through changes, some gradual, some that seemed to just happen in the middle of the night. Like his growth spurt, where he shot up from 4'11" to 5'4" in seven hours- or it felt that way at least.

As well as the physical changes as he grew, he was also growing restless. There was this itch of rebellion he had that wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried to satisfy it. He had been playing by the rules just to get by, but now he was sick the same old stuff he dealt with everyday; it just wasn't enough anymore. Smoking and drinking wouldn't cut it anymore; it was too easy for him to get away with. Hyde wanted something that people would notice, something adventurous, and of course; badass. He just didn't know what.

The 3:00 bell rang and the 6th graders quickly zoomed out of their seats and dashed for the door. The late summer air made the air in the classroom sticky, and the students wanted to get home, or to their extra curricular activities. Hyde just wanted to get home and drink until he passed out, just to put the day behind him. Today was the 18th of September, and no one had said a single thing to him. At least his mom was gone again, and then he could just go home and drink and puke in peace.

Hyde slammed his locker door shut after he slung his tan messenger book bag over his shoulder, and jumped when seeing Eric standing next to him.

"Forman, what the hell?" He asked, scratching at the back of his neck.

"I was wondering if you wanted to come over for awhile, I asked Kelso too." Hyde pursed his lips and shrugged his shoulders.

"That's cool," he mumbled softly, secretly upset he wasn't going to be able to drink.

"Awesome, Donna's gonna come over too, when she's done doing stuff at home." Hyde nodded casually, but inside his stomach flip flopped; at least he'd see her on his birthday. He stopped suddenly, when remembering that she knew it was his birthday; what if she had told Forman and Kelso? Hyde scoffed at that, knowing that Donna wouldn't do that, and continued down the hall with Eric to her locker.

"Kelso's in the gym kissing Pam," Donna growled with distaste as she pushed her auburn hair in a ponytail. "He's such a freakin' pig, he never even talks about Jackie." Hyde rolled his eyes.

"Who cares?" He cried, and she hit him on the shoulder. "I'm just glad I haven't seen her in so long."  
"You're still mad because she didn't invite you to her birthday party but she invited us, aren't you?" Eric asked and Hyde laughed at that.

"Why would I be mad at that, man? Oh right, I was so depressed because I couldn't go to a pink, unicorn birthday party for the spoiled brat that's more like a fuckin' parasite. I was devastated so I cried and listened to Abba." He teased, making his two friends laugh as they walked to the gymnasium. "Nah, I was only mildly pissed because we had planned to hang out and then when I get to the Forman's, you're all gone." That had really hurt him; he felt the twinge as he remembered that day. It wasn't the fact that he wasn't invited, but that they hadn't told him, and he was all alone. He shook his head at the memory and looked at Eric and Donna who were smiling at him. "What?" he finally asked.

"You were mad." Donna finally said, then ran to Kelso who was in fact kissing Pam Macy, and punched him hard on the shoulder. Hyde raised his eyebrows and glanced at Eric who was grinning.

"Liar," Hyde grumbled, sticking his thumbs behind his belt, not looking around the gym; it made him feel nervous. He heard Eric chuckle and Hyde glanced up and smirked at him momentarily before gazing back down at his shoes.

"So, I heard Brad and Tom talking about you today," Eric said, as they waited for Donna and Kelso to come back. Hyde tilted his head with curiosity that got the better of him; it was probably lies, anyway.

"Yeah? What'd they say?" he murmured, taking out a cigarette and his lighter. Eric stared at the stick and the light, but didn't say anything; Hyde knew what he was thinking.

"That you gave Andy a swirly and almost busted a couple teeth," Hyde gave a small laugh and felt his lips pull. "Is it true?" Hyde looked at Eric and gave a nod. "Why'd you do it?" He shrugged his shoulders and inhaled the smoke, letting the burn linger in his throat, down to his lungs for a few moments before exhaling. "No, really Hyde, why did you do it?"

"Because they were all being stupid," He growled, his voice rough, he coughed a few times to relieve the itch in his throat. "They called Donna a bitch, and I wouldn't stand for that, man." Eric nodded and smiled at his friend.

"You stand up for people a lot." Eric commented. Hyde nodded and watched as the tall red head and their flirt of a friend walk slowly together, talking softly; he sort of wondered what they could be talking about.

"Sure do, Forman, you gotta let people know when they're being assholes," he told his friend, and then flicked the cigarette, ashes falling on the gymnasium floor. He brushed them away with his boots and took another draw.

The group of four left the school building and walked down the sidewalk to the street, Kelso and Eric in a conversation about breeding cats and dogs together. Donna and Hyde listened intently, he was wondering how the creature would look; and he figured it would be creepy looking.

The leaves were falling off of all of the trees, and Hyde looked at Donna, who looked so pretty in the fall. Her hair and skin looked perfect with all of the reds, oranges and browns of the fallen leaves, and the dark green hooded sweatshirt she had on looked good as well. He could have kicked himself for thinking and feeling this way, but he honestly didn't care. If anyone had the highest chance with Donna, it was him; and he'd wait just a couple more years before showing his interest.

When they got to the Forman's, the gang piled in the kitchen and each greeted Mrs. Forman, who was baking something in the oven. Hyde could smell that it was something chocolate-y, and it made his mouth water. She gave all of them hugs and asked Kelso and Hyde if they were staying the night. The two of them told her that they planned on it, and she seemed ecstatic about the idea.

"I'll call you all when dinner is ready, okay?" She asked, trying to shoo them out of the kitchen nicely, but quickly. Hyde had a strange suspicion that something was up.

They all went down to the basement, Kelso, Eric, and Donna sitting on the couch, while Hyde took the chair on the left. He listened to their conversation with little interest; he was trying to figure out what was going on.

Part of how his friends were acting seemed like an act. Like they were hiding something from him, and doing a really bad job at it. He noticed that it seemed like they were trying to ignore him, which he didn't mind much, but this was starting to irk him. Plus how Mrs. Forman acted, she was never so abrupt and flustered when he was there. Only when she was upset with Laurie for something; and that didn't happen much when he was at their house.

Hyde grimaced and rested his hands on his stomach, eyes averted to the ceiling, deep in thought. What if Eric told his parents about him smoking? He and Kelso would both be in trouble then… since he had found out about pot from one of his many older brothers; more than likely Casey. There could be so many things he could get in trouble for, and if Mr. and Mrs. Forman thought he was a bad influence on Eric, he wouldn't hang out with them anymore. It would kill him, the thought of leaving all of his friends made him want to scream and just… die. If he didn't have his friends, he would be alone. He wouldn't have a place to escape to when he needed it, he'd end up dying, and with his parent's prediction of his death, he had four years or less to kick the bucket. The 'or less' seemed more likely right now.

"Hey, Hyde!" Eric's voice broke through his thoughts and he jumped, startled at the sudden loudness.

"Y-yeah?" His voice quaked, showing just a little of his fear.

"Dinner is ready, c'mon."

The two friends walked up the basement stairs in silence, Hyde was growing even more panicky with every step he took. The worry was evident on his face, even though he had his sunglasses on; his face had taken a paper white look, and his cheeks were flushed… Mrs. Forman would think he was sick. Hyde was jittery as well, he could feel his whole body tremble with anxiousness and the thought of food made him feel suddenly sick. Maybe he was just worrying about nothing, and he wondered if the paranoia from Kelso and his 'noon break' was just kicking in. All signs pointed that he was going to-

Hyde's thoughts stopped when he saw the dining room table. There were seven plates full of fried chicken, mashed potatoes, corn, and dinner rolls- Hyde remembered from long ago the meal that they had… ever since then, this was his favorite. There were four boxes wrapped in colorful paper with bows on them, and tags on them that read who they were from. There was a knot in his throat when his eyes fell on the cake, white, with chocolate frosting and twelve candles waiting to be lit. Next to the cake was a batch of chocolate chip cupcakes with chocolate icing on top as well. His heart fluttered and he felt his eyes sting. Taking a shaky, deep breath, he glanced up at the five people before him. Mr. and Mrs. Forman were smiling warmly at him, Mrs. Forman's eyes were wet, Kelso was grinning goofily, and Eric had a small smile on his face, and Donna just looked at him; all of them waiting for his comment.

"This… is for me?" he asked timidly, Mrs. Forman nodded vigorously, and all was silent as everyone stared at one another. Without even thinking, Hyde ran up to the woman and hugged her tight, he felt her shoulders shake as she hugged back. He didn't see the shocked faces of his friends, who had never seen this display from Hyde, he didn't get emotional. They didn't think he would have acted like this… Donna was even surprised; but she knew how much it did mean to him.

As he wiped his eyes in her embrace, he heard her mumble, "Happy birthday, Steven." And he just laughed sadly, then turned to face everyone once again.

"Thanks guys, this is… cool." He regained his composure, and at that, everyone sat down. There was an empty seat, and Hyde tilted his head, looking at the parents.

"Red, where is Laurie?" Mrs. Forman asked, Hyde turned to Eric, who had his nose wrinkled when hearing his sister's name.

"Who cares?" He mumbled, and Hyde snickered at that, then looked at Kelso and Donna, both of them trying not to laugh at what Eric said.

"Laurie!" Red called loudly, startling Hyde a little, he hoped no one saw him jump. There was a loud stomping heard from above, and Hyde could hear the girl mumbling about something as she walked towards the dining room a few moments later.

"What?" She snapped, sneering when she saw all of the kids gathered at the table. "Oh… yeah. Isn't it the pest's birthday?" She mumbled, "Well I'm not staying here with all these little weirdoes. I'll be back by eleven, but don't wait up." Hyde glared at her through his sunglasses; he wasn't upset she wasn't staying, he was thrilled, but he didn't think he was a pest, and he and his friends weren't weird. He wondered how she could just ruin her life by doing all of the stupid things she did, especially when she had great parents.

"Fine," Mrs. Forman said sharply, in a tone that made Hyde shiver. When Laurie left the room Mrs. Forman returned back to her old self and smiled at him. "I hope her leaving didn't ruin your birthday." He smirked and shook his head.

"It made it a lot better, actually." He looked at his friends who couldn't help it anymore, they all burst out laughing, and he joined in. This was by far the best birthday he would ever have.

* * *

"Guys," Hyde piped up as they watched TV down stairs later that night. "Why don't we do something?" Eric turned to him and shrugged. Hyde was getting restless, and his itch for rebellion was growing stronger and stronger by the second.

"Like what? We're doing something now." Kelso scoffed and Donna looked at Hyde curiously.

"Eric, I don't think that's what Hyde means." She mumbled, eyes slowly turning back to the television.

"We should do something illegal, we talked about it before." Hyde announced, Eric gasped and Kelso just laughed.

"But we did earlier!" Hyde slugged Kelso's shoulder as they older boy spoke. He didn't want Eric to find out about them smoking pot, he didn't want to know of the consequences. Donna glared at them, disgusted at the mention of what they did. "Ooh! We could take Casey's spare car out!" Kelso cried. Hyde's face lit up at the mention, while Donna facepalmed, and Eric shook his head with wide eyes.

"Good idea Kelso… but I have an addition to that." Donna shuddered when seeing the devious look on Hyde's face. "Why don't' we trench the yard across the school, you know the-"

"Abandoned house." Everyone said in unison; Hyde grinned at that.

"So, everyone in?"

"No! I'd never do anything like-"

"Shut up, Eric," Donna snapped, the boy silenced immediately. "Yeah, I guess, it sounds pretty cool." Kelso nodded.

"I'm in for sure, man! I mean, it's my brother's car."

Hyde couldn't believe they were about to do this; the itch had been scratched, and now the adrenaline pumped through his veins. And he wasn't alone on this, he had two of his friends to do this with, he wished Forman would come along, but he knew he didn't want to get in trouble. They didn't know that Hyde wouldn't let _them_ get in trouble; he'd find a way to get them out of it.

"Sweet guys, c'mon, it's late enough to do this," Hyde said, standing up out of his chair. "You sure you're not gonna go, Forman?" Eric shook his head, and the three of them left after saying goodbye to him.

They snuck into the night as quiet as possible. After sneaking out of the yard of the Forman's, they relaxed when not getting caught, and began formulating the plan they needed as they took the sort walk to Kelso's house. They decided that when they would get there, Kelso would walk into his house like normal, and come up with an excuse as to why he was there. Donna and Hyde would be waiting outside by the car, for Kelso's return with the keys. Then they'd drive to the abandoned house and trench the yard, then stop somewhere and clean the car up a bit, and return it as soon as possible. And finally they'd end up back at the Forman's. The only problem was-

"I'm driving, I'm the oldest." Kelso argued, Donna scoffed.

"I've actually driven! She cried softly, "you'd just get us killed!" Hyde nodded, but rose his eyebrows at Donna.

"You've only driven like once, Donna." Hyde reminded her, "and you floored it." She blushed and looked away.

"And _you've_ driven?"

"Who else would take my mom home after a night out? Plus," Hyde paused, digging in his pocket. He pulled out his ratty wallet and opened it, the older two gasped at what they say.

"You have your license?" Kelso shrieked, Donna hit him on the back of the head, "ow!"

"Not his license, you moron; it's a fake ID. How'd you get it?" Hyde smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "I can't believe I'm saying this, but I think Hyde should drive. That ID is definitely a good one." He nodded and grinned, proud to be the one to drive.

"It's also my birthday, so I get the awesome privileges." He teased and the two chuckled as they walked up Kelso's driveway.

"Donna, I think we're going to die," Kelso whimpered, Hyde rolled his eyes as the girl chuckled and nodded.

"Kelso, go get the keys," was all she said.

Hyde and Donna stood in silence as they waited for their friend to return. He couldn't believe they were actually about to do this, he had only felt happier than this twice in his life. He also couldn't believe that Donna came along, he knew Kelso would, but the girl agreeing surprised him a bit.

'_I'm finding more reasons to like this chick,'_ he though as he glanced at her.

Hyde couldn't help but notice the changes that happened with her, he eally couldn't help it. He hadn't noticed when they were younger, but over time, and with him changing as well, he saw those things. Hyde figured that his second favorite feauture of her was her chest, the first being her eyes. And her rebellion and ability to have a voice made her even more appealing to him.

"So, how'd you get the fake ID?"

"My mom got it for me," he answered simply, staring at his boots.

"Are we going to get away with this?" Donna asked, sounding cautious. He looked at her in the eyes and smiled, knowing that she was afraid of getting in trouble.

"I won't let you get in trouble, kid." Hyde reassured her, and she smiled back. He leaned against Casey's 1966 Chevrolet Chevelle as they waited for Kelso to return.

Soon enough, the front door opened and closed softly. The teen ran to his younger friends and jingled the keys in his hand, and had a silly grin on his face. Hyde smirked, and held out his left hand to catch them.

"Now, if anything goes wrong, do exactly as I say, all right?" Hyde ordered, opening the front door of the car. Donna and Kelso nodded, the boy sliding in the passenger seat and Donna in the middle of the back. Hyde silently wished she would have sat up front, yet he wouldn't say anything. He didn't know exactly what he would do if they got in trouble, only that he wouldn't let them take the fault.

Hyde turned the keys, and he revved the engine once, scaring his friends. He pulled the shift down from 'P' to 'R' and softly pressed his foot on the gas. He turned his head to watch as he backed out, and smirked at Donna.

"See? Not a bad driver. Kelso… radio." Hyde said, straightening out the car, then set the wheel straight, taking the shift from 'reverse' to 'drive' he tapped his foot harder on the gas.

"Yeah, it's not bad yet, but we haven't even gone a block." Donna pointed out, Hyde grimaced and continued on driving, slowly picking up speed.

"I can't believe Eric is missing this," Donna mumbled as Hyde swiftly turned the corner.

"He better not rat us out," Hyde replied, then turned the volume on the radio up after hearing "_Good Times Bad Times_" begin to play. The friends began to sing along, and all of them were smiling and laughing, feeling older than they really were.

"I can't wait until this is actually legal," Kelso said in between verses, Hyde nodded and checked his rear view mirror, before turning onto High Street.

"Me either, man, it'll kick total ass… we just gotta get Forman to-"

"Quit being a chicken?" Donna finished and Hyde nodded, lifting his foot off of the gas so he wouldn't speed.

"I know what it means to be alone; I sure do wish I was at home. I don't care what the neighbors say, I'm gonna love you each and every day…" Hyde sang along loudly, making Kelso laugh. "What?" He asked defensive.

"Your voice cracked, man! Mine quit doing that like six months ago." Hyde blushed and punched Kelso on the arm.

"Liar, your voice still squeaks, man."

"Yeah, 'cause you heard it last night, with your mom." Hyde's eyes flickered when hearing Kelso's retort, and suddenly the occupants of the car were very silent.

"Don't even," Hyde finally growled, Donna sighed and leaned back against the seat. "Kelso, back, now."  
"But we're-" Hyde suddenly jerked the wheel to the right and stomped on the brake, making the tires screech as they suddenly stopped.

"Now we're not." He said innocently, smiling to himself as he watched Kelso hesitantly step out of the car and pull the passenger seat down to switch places with Donna. She glanced at him with concerned eyes, wondering if he was okay to drive. Hyde turned the wheel to the left and casually pulled out to the street.

"Hyde, he didn't mean anything by it, he doesn't…" Donna mumbled, when she saw Hyde's stone like figure staring straight and rigid, she decided against saying anything else, and sitting back in the seat.

Hyde pulled up at the high school; the three of them looked at the abandoned house sitting across from it. The windows were cracked and the off white paint was chipping off of the siding. Vines grew all over the outside walls as well, and no one seemed to take care of the grass; it wasn't like anyone was going to be upset that they were trenching the yard.

"Is anyone out?" He asked, rolling down his window to look around.

"I don't see anyone," Donna answered, turning her head to find any neighbors or pedestrians walking innocently. "We're clear," she told him, and he nodded, turning into the lot's driveway, and then onto the grass outside. The two rolled up their windows, and he glanced in the back to check on Kelso, who was sitting silently.

"Kelso, just don't say anything about my mom, got it?" He barked, Kelso nodded and smiled at his friend, Hyde couldn't help but return the same gesture. "Thanks for letting us use the car, by the way." He nodded and grinned.

"Let's do this!" Hyde smirked at Kelso's cry and Donna turned up the radio for added effect as Hyde placed the car in park and pressed as hard as he could on the pedal. The sound of the wheels screeching filled their ears, and soon dirt flew into the air. He shifted the car in drive and spun around to the other side, all of them were laughing hysterically at their destruction. Hyde made the car fish tail to ruin even more of the yard, and then a couple of 360s. They spent five minutes working on their masterpiece and when they pulled back on the street, they marveled the work.

"That is just awesome, Hyde." Kelso chirped, "I could never do that."  
"How many times have you done this?" Donna asked him, cheeks red from laughing. Hyde shrugged his shoulders; in all honesty, this was his first time trenching.

"Just once," he answered, driving down Corso Street. "You know the funny thing about this? If we get caught, no one will suspect us. It's Casey's spare car, and who would suspect two 12 year olds and a 13 year old to do this?

"Yeah, funny for you, if he gets in trouble, he will kill me, man!" Kelso cried, which made Donna and Hyde laugh even more.

They drove the car to Hyde's house to clean it up; as they didn't want any parents to know. He ran inside quickly, grabbed a roll of paper towels and a bowl of water, and they all scrubbed the exterior of the car until it looked just about perfect. The wheels they could do nothing with, the mud would fall off as they drove.

Once they finished cleaning it, they sped off to Kelso's house to drop off the car. He was going to keep the keys until he got back home, and then just put them away like they had fallen or something.

He fell out of the conversation when Kelso and Donna started talking about Eric not being here. He was growing a little tired and hearing about the boy who was too scared to go with them was not on his top of conversations he wanted to be a part of. So he listened to the radio and paid extra attention to his driving, adding a short 'yeah' or a comment about something they said.

Hyde turned on Kelso's street and drove down casually, he was surprised that he hadn't been pulled over or anything. He was proud that he hadn't been, and that there were no problems whatsoever, but he was expecting to see flashing lights up at Kelso's house. Hyde relaxed when he didn't see the police cars, and he then pulled in the driveway as quietly as possible

He and Donna hopped out of the car after he turned it off, and she held down the passenger's seat for Kelso to get out. They inspected the car once more before heading to the Forman's, whispering to each other as they walked.

"Told you I was a good driver." Donna slugged him softly and he chuckled.

"Thank God you were," she answered him; "We would have been in so much trouble if Kelso drove."

"Hey!" Kelso cried in his defense, Hyde chuckled at that and looked towards the sky.

"If Forman's asleep, we are so messing with him," he decided and his friends agreed. "Guys… this was a wicked birthday, I just wanted you to know that." Donna and Kelso smiled at him, knowing what he truly meant behind the words, what he'd never say.

The gang, minus one, silently made their way passed the glass door of the Forman's and to the back yard. In complete silence, they tip toed on the cement stairs leading to the basement and gently pushed open the door, to find Eric watching cartoons with a bowl of popcorn. He turned to them with wide eyes as they made their way into the room.

"Hey Forman," Hyde greeted, sitting back in his chair like he was before the brilliant plan.

"You… did you… no way! You didn't get caught?" He cried, the three glanced at each other and burst out laughing. As Hyde looked at his friends, and felt the smile on his face, and how alive he was feeling… he realized that life couldn't get much better than this.


	19. My World

_**Author's Note: During this chapter I was going through a TON of emotions, a lot of stuff is going on right now with me, and this is sort of how I vented… which means this chapter is going to be a little dark, definitely not one of the lighter chapters. Hopefully the next one will be a happier one, but I hope that you guys enjoy this one, as well. The last bit was purposefully rushed, to make it more like how Hyde was seeing and feeling things, how it was all so sudden and quick and changed right before his eyes… and no I didn't get bored writing this one; this one actually helped me vent, so it's all good :). So just keep that in mind about the rushed bit :). Hope you like it!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**

* * *

**_

_I'm not coming back, I'm not gonna react, I'm not doing shit for you. I'm not sitting around while you are tearing it down around us. I'm not living a lie while you swim in denial, 'cause you're already dead and gone. You'll leave me out on the curb just like everyone else before you. Welcome to my world; where everyone I ever need always ends up leaving me alone. Another lesson burned and I'm drowning in the ashes: Kicking, screaming, welcome to my world. So here I am again, in the middle of the end. The choice I wish I'd made, I always make too late…_

The November night air was chilly as Hyde walked through the streets, long cord in hand. The street lights were dim and it was hard to see what was ahead, except Ringo. Hyde figured that the dog wanted to go on a walk, and he was dying to get out anyway, so he took Ringo along.

Hyde was getting so sick of his mother, it was like her favorite hobby was putting him through hell; and she did it well. Every single thing he did, even if it was turning on the lights or flushing the goddamn toilet, she'd scream at him for it. He wondered if she still was putting him through misery because of Chris. It was her reason before, what was her reason now? He just wanted her gone forever; he'd rather live on his own, anyway.

Hyde kicked a crumpled soda can on the curb in his anger, he couldn't stand his mom. She would never stop screaming it seemed, no matter what she was doing. He had thought about running away, but had decided against it, because he wouldn't have a place to go. The nights were endless in this World War III, with shouting and violence until it was time for Hyde to go to school. The only time he found he could sleep was during class, and his grades were now suffering a whole lot more than before. All he wanted was to break down and pound his fists in the ground, and scream his anger out until he was numb. He didn't like all of this rage that was pent inside, he felt like a bomb. And he didn't want to blow up at something stupid his friends said; which he knew that was what would more than likely happen.

Hyde shivered in the night and zipped his dark gray hooded sweat shirt. He hated cold weather, it always brought him down. He hated more than anything today though; it would have been his younger brother's fourth birthday.

He could imagine teaching Chris all sorts of things; how to ride a bike, or how to tie is show, or how to not be like his big brother. Maybe they would live somewhere better; maybe Edna would have been a better mom. Things would be so much better if only Chris were here.

Hyde shook his head in anger, and had the sudden urge to punch something, or someone really, really hard. This always happened when he thought of Chris; he wondered _what could have been_, or _what if_? But it was never that. Thought things got a little better when Chris was here, Edna never cared, and she never would. It was always the hypothetical, and never reality. Reality was that Chris was _DEAD_ and nothing could _EVER_ change that. Hyde could feel his body trembling as he continued forward, diving into the spot in his mind that he never ventured in.

The sound of tires screeching and a violent tug on the rope in Hyde's hand brought him out of his thoughts. Nausea passed through him, and he suddenly felt light headed when gazing in front of him.

"Ringo!" He let out a strangled cry for the dog as he rushed forward, not bothering to look at the car. The bloody mess of fur lay crumbled by the front of the vehicle was all Hyde cared about. He blinked back the tears that burned his eyes as he pet his dog's fur. Ringo was more than a dog to him, Hyde had him since he was seven years old, that dog knew his story and couldn't tell a soul. Sometimes he even used the dog as a pillow, and now… now his German Shepherd was dead.

His eyes slowly glanced up, eyes widening when seeing the license plate of the car that had hit his dog. He couldn't believe what just happened… but he had a feeling he knew why. And the bomb was set to explode in five….

Hyde punched the hood of the car in his anger as he stomped to the driver's seat, unshielded eyes glaring daggers at his mother, who was silent and staring ahead.

"WHAT THE HELL?" He screamed at her, the tears flowing freely now. "Why the fuck would you do this, ma? You just…"

"I know what I did, just like you did!" She barked back, Hyde shook his head, his whole body felt like it was on fire. This was absolutely insane!

"How could you do this to me?" He whispered, she just looked at him and smiled, not caring in the slightest about what she had done. It took all of his strength to not lunge at her and start ripping her apart; but he wouldn't be like Bud, he promised himself that. He'd never be like either of his parents.

"How could you kill my only son?" That hit Hyde like a slap in the face with a plank of wood studded with nails. He realized that he meant nothing to her, he wasn't even her _son_. He was nothing but a mistake; and maybe that was true.

Hyde watched as she drove on without even glancing back, without even asking if he was okay; she'd know the answer, but it goes to show what he already knew. He felt as if he were just going to throw up and pass out or fall into a fit of seizures right there, he didn't know which; but he felt terrible.

The sob stuck in his throat and his shoulders fought back the shakes he had as he knelt down next to Ringo once more. He cupped his hand under the dog's head, placed on the side that he was lying on. With all the strength he had, he struggled to lift the dog, but finally managed to hoist it over his shoulder. It wasn't like he was just going to leave it in the road for others to ride over. It made him sick that just a couple minutes ago, he was walking his dog, who wanted to run ahead, and Hyde should have, instead of pulling him back.

But what made it even worse was that his mother had killed his dog, because it was Chris's birthday, and she had lost something so important to her. He wondered what would have happened if it were _him_ that died; she'd probably move and start a better life. She would probably be there for Chris, and be the best mom that she could, rather than trying to forget the mistake sitting next to her with a bottle of whiskey and heroin.

Hyde knew tonight he was going to do something dangerous; he didn't know what, but he just needed to find a way to channel his anger into something else. It wasn't healthy to be this angry, he felt he could really hurt someone, and that scared him; no substance could help this, it would only make it worse. He needed something that would make him feel alive, that would help feed the adrenaline and that wasn't pot.

When Hyde got back to his house, he kicked down the rotting gate door that lead to his pathetic back yard. He figured by all the weeds growing back there, his mom probably made home made pot. He hopped over the fence, to the neighbor's garage and silently grabbed a shovel, if he got caught… well his neighbor had a shotgun, and wasn't afraid to use it.

As soon as he was back in his yard, he began to dig a hole to bury Ringo. He couldn't believe that he had to do this; his dog would be sleeping on his bed right now, waiting for him to come in, and then Ringo would comfort him. He squeezed his eyes shut as the strangled sob tore through him; if his friends saw this, they'd all just laugh at him. He was pathetic for crying over a stupid dog… but he didn't really feel that way, it hurt him so much. But he gathered his composure and continued digging.

The hole ended up being big enough for Hyde himself to lay in it, and he considered it, but in the end he figured a dead dog couldn't bury his owner. The sweat made Hyde's shirt cling to his shoulders and back, and the dirt that had flecked on his skin made him itchy. His arms ached a little, but he needed more strength, and this was a… good start. Gazing at the dog again, he noticed that Ringo looked just like he was sleeping, and maybe he was, but part of the dog was shaped in a way he shouldn't be, and noticing that felt like a kick to the gut. Once more, he lifted the dog in his arms and tried to push out the thoughts filling his head as he carried it to the middle of the hole. With one leg on either side of the dirt, he carefully lowered Ringo into his grave and shook his head as he unknotted the makeshift leash he had found at his neighbor's garage; he'd take it back when he returned the shovel.

Once he was done burying Ringo, Hyde patted down the dirt with his left hand three times and wiped his forehead with his dirty hands. The sweat stung his eyes, he wasn't crying, and he stared at the grave momentarily. He realized that all the things he took the time to take care of end up leaving him, and now it applied to more than just people. His fear was losing his friends, he didn't want to lose them, but he could see it happening so easily. Now was the time to pull away, to find a way to get away from them; this could kill him, but he needed to get away from them to save them all from what he knew was bound to happen.

Tossing the rope and shovel over the fence, he walked out of his backyard and stared at his house, he had an idea to start his danger-filled night. Hyde dug in his pocket and found his Zippo lighter, and a smirk spread across his face. He ran to the back once more, and searched for a bottle of alcohol, and soon found one that wasn't quite empty, and also an old piece of paper that was in one of the trash cans. Standing at the front again, he ran his thumb over the wheel, and put the paper in front of the flame. He quickly shoved the flaming paper in the bottle and tried his best to put the cap back on the bottle, then chucked it at the living room window. He heard the sound of the glass shattering, and watched as smoke began to rise by the living room window. His eyes stayed averted to the window, and watched as flames began to lick at the sill, he turned away with a smile on his face.

Hyde wasn't sure what else he was going to do, but he hoped it turned into a fight. He wanted to hurt someone, punch them around a bit, but there was more to it than that. Something he didn't want to admit, it scared him that he felt the way he did. He wanted to be hurt. The thought of wanting to be harmed scared him though; was it some sort of effect from being abused when he was younger? He was confused: was it possible to feel that way? Was it normal?

'This is insane,' Hyde thought, walking up the next block.

His mind was on overdrive as he walked in the night; his mind wouldn't stop playing over everything that happened within the hour before. This was all because of his psychotic, substance dependent mother. She didn't care about him, he knew she wished he was never born, and he felt the same way. His life was a mess up, he was a mistake and there's no way either of them could go back and fix it; so she hated him every minute of everyday. She was angry because he was born, and he had no control over that. Edna had probably tried every single way to get rid of him possible that didn't cost much, which is what caused his premature birth. He didn't know who to be angry at now, her, or him, and all of these thoughts were digging into his brain like razor sharp claws.

What he wanted to know was why he was so messed up. Why didn't he have the normal family like Forman? Why wasn't he a wanted child, who excelled at what he could do? Was going to end up just like his parents, or worse?

The ache in his chest made him feel empty as he continued on his way, eyes staring at the cracked sidewalks with weeds trying to grow through the split cement. Was this feeling loneliness, or sadness? His conscience had changed paths and was no longer out for physical pain, instead, with each step he took the mental torment he put him through worsened. What had done this to him? Who had done this? Should he stop the fight now?

His thoughts were put on a halt when he heard sirens wailing up ahead. Hyde froze on the spot, fear rippling down his spine, making him shiver. His eyes hesitantly glanced up and watched as the fire truck and two police cars rushed down the street, and he grinned. The fire must have been pretty bad. He was tempted to go back and see the damage, but decided to wait until the fire was out and the cops were gone, he didn't want to be questioned.

Hyde roamed the streets and tried to fill the hollowness that he felt, but nothing could make him feel better. It was like he was permanently down; he felt that being gum on a person's shoe would be a step up to the current condition his mind was in. He hadn't felt this awful in a long time, even during the worst fights between him and his mom, he scoffed at that. Edna wasn't his mom, not really, the only way that made it so was that they shared blood; and he was tainted with that. He preferred the thought of never being born rather sharing any form of bond with either of his so called parents… they were more like _co-creators_. They created this… mistake, this monster….

After wandering the streets of Point Place for another hour, Hyde decided to turn back home. There would be a ton of people and a ton of questions to be asked, and he didn't want anything to do with them; but he just wanted to sleep. He wanted a way to forget the numb and the hurt that he felt and he couldn't drink or smoke with the cops there, so his best bet was to just pass out as long as he could.

By the time he returned he was shivering violently from the cold, and his feet were probably blistered from all the walking. He figured it was the equal amount of pain physical as emotional, and he'd prefer the physical. The ache he had to hurt was calmed, but his paranoia as he walked up the sidewalk to the smoldering house of his, and the cop cars and the fire trucks trying to put up the fire grew immensely. There was a small group of people gathered, watching with curiosity and awe at the house that was blackened from the smoke, but not too damaged, much to his dismay. They had already put out the fire, but he could tell it was a pretty good struggle to completely coax it down, which made him feel a little better.

"Are you Steven Hyde?" Hyde tensed at the rough voice asking his identity. Turning around, he gulped when his eyes fell on a middle aged police officer with quite the belly and a bushy moustache.

"Uh… yeah… why?" He asked hesitantly, perfecting his zen. The police officer sighed and glanced at his car.

"We've um… taken your mother in for questioning, while searching the house for a cause of the fire, we found quite a lot of drug paraphernalia . We tried to contact any relatives but… none were available at the given time."

"So you're saying my mom's going to jail, huh?" Hyde asked, trying to hide the smile. But he felt a little like he was kicked in the gut once again.

"Yes, that's what I'm saying, son." Hyde scowled at that. "Do you know of anywhere you can go?" Hyde gazed at the officer and his mind was cleared, as he thought about the question.

"Uh… Red Forman's house, it's just a couple blocks down, I can walk-"  
"We'll take you there right away."

Hyde felt himself smile weakly when hearing the police officer talk, he knew how they really were. But a free ride to his favorite place was something he couldn't pass up.

Climbing inside the back of one of the cars, he sat nervously, feeling like they were tricking him into going downtown. When one of the other cops got in the front, they just asked for the directions and the house number, and after that there was no conversation whatsoever.

Hyde had nothing for this night, but that didn't really matter. Maybe going to the Forman's would help him. He didn't want to bother them, but he had a feeling they wouldn't mind; especially Eric and Mrs. Forman. He watched through the windows as they pulled onto their block, and then into their driveway, lights flashing bright red, white and blue. He watched as Mr. and Mrs. Forman stepped outside, looking paler than ghosts, wondering what was going on.

The female police officer came around and opened the door and Hyde slowly walked up to them with a queasy half smile but his eyes lowered to the ground once more. The officer followed closely behind him to talk to the Formans about the situation. Hyde didn't want to listen as she spoke, telling them about the fire and his mom's drug addictions and how she landed in prison, leaving her son alone. He could take care of himself, he had done it before. It made him feel disgusting, like he was worse than nothing. He tuned in on some parts of the speech, when the officer said, "He had nowhere to go…" and "the first name he said, we recognized and agreed that it was suitable…" it made him sound like he was some juvenile delinquent… which he secretly was turning into, but no one knew of that yet. He hadn't done anything wrong, _except start the fire_, so why did it feel like they were blaming him? Then the thought hit him- did they find out about the fire?

His stomach did a flip at that, and he lurched forward, clutching his stomach as he threw up. Hyde fell on his knees, his body shaking violently and heard the three silence immediately. The stress was now affecting him physically, which he didn't even know if that was possible. He felt a warm, soft hand rub his back and he remained on the ground, trembling and coughing.

"Steven, let's take you inside, I'll get you some warm pajamas and something to eat, okay?" Mrs. Forman said, he nodded slowly, wiping the cold sweat from his brow. She hugged him, and he held her close, and wondered why he didn't have her as a mother. He glanced up at her and she smiled sadly at him as they walked into the kitchen. "I know things don't seem the best right now, with your house burning down and your mother…" Mrs. Forman paused momentarily and sighed softly, while rummaging through the cabinets. "But what I'm most concerned about is… are you okay? How are you handling all of this?" Hyde looked at her behind his sunglasses, sadness and anger mixing with confusion and desolation. He knew that if he told her exactly how he felt she'd probably suggest he go to a hospital or get some sort of help, and he didn't need that. He just needed….

"I'm fine, Mrs. Forman, thanks." He mumbled flatly, resting his head on his hand, which was bent on top of the kitchen table.

"Okay… well I'll get you some warm jammies and I'll make you some hot cocoa and hopefully that will cheer you up!" She chirped, adding a nervous laugh at the end of her sentence before rushing out of the kitchen. Hyde sighed softly and lowered his head; there were just some things you couldn't fix.


	20. Behind Blue Eyes

_**Author's Note: Hello all! I finally get an update in, before I go baby sit while my cousin goes to see Tom Petty (holds back jealousy :D). Anywho, I wanted to update this quick and share some important information. This one is a lighter one, nothing really dark or anything, some cursing, but that's about it. But there are a couple things I want to inform you about. First: I have the episodes that I will be writing for from Season One through Season Seven picked out already… I'm going to sort through them to figure out which ones I should cut out, because I know this will be a very, very long story if I keep them all (remember I said it's going from age 7 to at least age 30). I have an idea for Season Eight, but I want you to keep voting on the poll I have on my profile; if you haven't: Go vote! Also a few authors and I have a fan forum board for That 70's Show. The link is already in the reviews, I'm putting it in the reviews section again so if you're interested, go there and put it in your search line. **_

_**Thanks for all you people reading this and enjoying this story. I love to hear how you think it's going, or if you want any changes even, so review, please? I'm not the type to want reviews, but it's nice to know what readers think. So if you have an extra minute, please leave a quick review? **_

_**Thanks so much!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

**_No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man behind blue eyes. No one knows what it's like to be hated, to be fated to telling only lies. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours, only lonely. My love is vengeance that's never free. No one knows what it's like to feel these feelings like I do and I blame you! No one bites back as hard on their anger, none of my pain and woe can show through. But my dreams, they aren't as empty as my conscience seems to be. I have hours only lonely; my love is vengeance, that's never free. When my fist clenches, crack it open before I use it and lose my cool. When I smile, tell me some bad news; before I laugh and act like a fool. And if I swallow anything evil; put your finger down my throat. And If I shiver, please give me a blanket; keep me warm, let me wear your coat. No one knows what it's like to be the bad man, to be the sad man. Behind blue eyes..._**

"_How could you do this to me?" Edna screamed shrilly, bursting through the bedroom door, eyes flickering with hatred, the door banging loudly against the wall. "I hate you I HATE YOU! You ruined everything for me! You ungrateful little bastard! Why didn't you die?"_

_Hyde stared at his mother with vacant eyes, sunglasses set on his mattress. She was drunk and raving mad, he was used to her fits of rage that she had every night in her drunken stupor. The things she was saying were true though, she meant every single word. He was the reason she wasn't the best bikini skier, because Bud had knocked her up one night when they both had a little too much to drink. And she was stuck with the mistake for the rest of her life. The mistake with her eyes._

"_I didn't mean to." Was all he whispered, now looking at his ceiling. Silenced hovered between the two of them, until she shut the door, still standing in his room._

"_You deserved all that your father did to you, for all of the wrongs that you did to us. We had to put you through the pain so you'd realize we're better off without you, but you never got the fucking HINT!" She roared once more, throwing her bottle at him. He ducked before it made contact with his head, instead the shattering of glass on the wall was heard, and he smiled softly. _

"_It wasn't my fault, I didn't choose to be born." He murmured in a bored tone, the same fight they had each night was getting tiresome, yet the constant reminder that he was unwanted was all that he needed. It fueled all of his hate and anger and numbness. _

"_EVERYTHING IS YOUR FAULT YOU FUCKING-" The smacking and beating began, and all he did was cower down and whimper-_

"HYDE!" He jumped, startled from his fitful sleep, snapping his head around the room; where was he? His vision focused on the G.I. Joes and other action figures, and realized he was in Eric's room, laying on he floor. How had he gotten here, and when did he change into Eric's pajamas? He scratched at the cotton material and missed his band t's and shorts. "Finally you're awake," Hyde glanced at Forman momentarily before rubbing his eyes. "So, my mom says you're gonna be here for a couple of days," Eric said, Hyde twisted his neck to pop it, the crunch of his bones cracking was almost deafening. Hyde wished he hadn't heard what he said, yet he had, and he couldn't avoid it.

"Uh yeah, it's cool, right?" He mumbled sleepily, feeling an ache gnaw at his stomach.

"Yeah, I mean I just feel awful about your situ-"

"Don't, just don't, Forman." Hyde warned flatly. He wasn't going to even hear about what was going on from anyone else, he didn't need their pity. And he wasn't going to talk about it, either, even though that's what everyone wanted. It would just be like talking to deaf ears. If he ever bothered to talk about _anything _that was on his mind, no one would listen, that had been proven, so there was no point now.

"Okay," Eric chirped as if Hyde's interruption hadn't bothered him. He wouldn't pressure his friend into venting, no one could, so he would just leave his friend be. Even though Eric could easily see the distress his friend was in, he would act like everything was normal and fine. "Well, breakfast is ready, my mom wanted me to tell you. You hungry?" Eric asked in a certain tone that made Hyde glare at Eric, and feel like he was being talked down to. He wasn't a little kid, he was much more mature than all of his friends, he didn't need the baby tone. This wasn't hurting him, he wasn't depressed or sad or anything, he was fine! So why did they seem like walking on eggshells?

"Ehh," He murmured in reply, yet his stomach ached with hunger, Hyde couldn't remember the last time he ate, but he did remember it wasn't a lot.

Eric lead the way down the stairs in his pin striped pajamas, Hyde dragged his body behind him. He wasn't exactly a morning person, and 9 in the morning was early for him, like 5 a.m., so he would be even more grouchy. He scratched at his head subconsciously to tousle his hair even more than it had been in his sleep. The rooms in this house seemed fluorescent from the morning sun compared to his dark, grimy house; the sun was welcomed, so it gleamed brightly from the windows, giving the house a perfect lighting.

Hyde shook his head in disbelief when he entered the kitchen. He never noticed how similar the Forman's were to the Cleavers; the perfect house, a well to do, happy family, who were so cheery. When he was younger it had amazed him, and he had loved the feeling of being at their house. But now, jealousy burned his heart and boiled his blood; how could Forman complain about his family? He was so much better off than Hyde was, yet he never talked about his shitty life. He wasn't the type to do that though, and pity and sympathy just made him sick.

But when seeing Mrs. Forman smiling so warmly at him with large home made pancakes steaming, he felt guilty of his envy. Hyde hated how he _did _have a heart, and that he cared, when he tried to prove that false. He wasn't _supposed _to care about anyone, or let people in his heart, but he did. How was he supposed to save himself in the long run if he let these people grow so close to him?

"Good morning, Steven!" Mrs. Forman piped cheerfully as she piled three pancakes on a plate, with cheesy scrambled eggs and four pieces of extra crispy bacon. Hyde smiled weakly at her and gave a small nod before sitting at the kitchen table. He wouldn't look in the direction of Laurie, who he knew was glaring daggers at him.

"Look who's here; the town rat… I bet your mom's having a great time in jail, after all she's away from-"

"Laurie!" Kitty gasped at the same time as Hyde interrupted the teen with, "me,, I know." Everyone was silent, even Red was secretly paying close attention, yet continued flipping through his newspaper.

"Oh, Steven, that's not true!" Kitty tried to reassure the boy, but he knew it was. They all did. He eyed her in a way that made her slightly uneasy with worry, yet she still rested her hand on his shoulder.

"Mrs. Forman, it's fine," Hyde mumbled softly, trying to keep his eyes away from anyone's gaze. God, he just wanted to be alone.

"Kitty, we're all hungry, leave Steven be, he's clearly uncomfortable." Red chimed in roughly taking a sip of coffee. Hyde glanced up and Red winked at him discreetly, so only Hyde would see. Hyde realized that he did it to spare him the emotional conversation that Mrs. Forman was about to start, and for that he was grateful.

"So, what do you want to do today?" Eric asked nonchalantly, watching his mom set down five plates of food."I don't care," Hyde answered, smiling his thaks to Mrs. Forman as she handed him his breakfast.

He didn't know what he wanted to do today, but knew he would rather be alone. It wasn't like he could just say that to his best friend's face, especially when his family was helping him in so many ways. It made him sick to think of how selfish he was being; caring for how _he _would feel, and protecting _himself_.

"Eric, you could invite Michael or Donna over so you could play." Hyde had a strong feeling that if Kelso came over, they wouldn't 'play' and he didn't want that.

"Or you could go outside and get some fresh air for once instead of sitting around in our luxury basement like lazy dumb asses," Red growled gruffly. Hyde grinned at that, but knew he didn't like the house being overrun with kids, like it always was. He began to wonder if he was bothering him. The pancake he was currently nibbling was almost impossible to swallow as he though more and more.

Hyde sat in silence, diving in the depths of his mind, swimming in his darkest thoughts. It wasn't that he meant to, but right now he craved solitude, and the only placed he could get that was in his head. He could trust everyone in there, with everything; because there was no one at all to listen.

What was he gong to do now that Edna was in jail? He wasn't sure if they could go back to their house yet, either. The Forman's wouldn't want him lurking in there home for more than one day, he was sure of that. Though Hyde seemed like a 'take it one day at a time' kid, he was always worrying about his future. He wasn't fully able to just live in the here and now and enjoy the day, there was always this part of him that questioned what was going to happen in that day, and the next, and in a week…. But now he was unsure of having a roof over his freaking head and he was only twelve. And Eric's only concern was what games to play, or how to have fun… or it always seemed like that way to Hyde.

"Steven, are you okay honey?" Mrs. Forman asked sweetly, he nodded quickly in response. "Are you sure? You've barely eaten and you're-""Kitty, that's enough, the boy is fine!" Red assured his wife, Hyde glanced up at the two momentarily, and caught eyes with Mrs. Forman.

"I'm just not hungry, Mrs. Forman, it was great, but I'm just…" He trailed off, that was all true; his worrying had caused him to lose his appetite. He didn't want the woman to be concerned over him and interrogate him, and he also didn't want her to suspect that he didn't like her cooking. (Which wasn't the case, he never dreamed of home made apple cinnamon pancakes- they were out of this world!)

"Well, all right then," Mrs. Forman murmured softly, eyes full of uncertainty.

Eric and Hyde both excused themselves from the table, both unsure of what they were going to do. In silence, they walked out the glass door, one boy thinking about how screwed up things were, the other wanting things to be as normal as possible.

Hyde picked up the basketball that had been placed by the hoop stand, and casually dribbled it on the cement driveway.

"You wanna play?" Hyde asked, swiftly turning to take a shot into the hoop. After aiming right about the rim, he made the shot; the ball bounced off of the rim, and back to the ground.

"Hyde, how are you?" Hyde froze when hearing his best friend speak. First, Mrs. Forman; now Eric?

"I'm fine, Forman, believe it or not. So you wanna play, or what?" Things wouldn't be going back to normal for awhile, it seemed, much to his dismay.

It wasn't like Eric to want to talk about feelings, well others' feelings at least… Hyde's feelings. Why did people ask now, instead of any other friggin day? Just because his mom was in prison didn't mean he was bothered by it; he was relieved. Life with her was hell, he couldn't stand her screaming, abuse, anger and drug usage. No one bothered asking how he was after a fight with the bitch, or why he always slept in school, or why he couldn't hear as well and was losing so much weight. They didn't notice those things; he was always almost invisible on most days.

"Are you sure you're okay? I mean, your house almost burned down, and your mom's in prison… it's gotta be-"

"Listen, Forman," Hyde growled, fists clenched tightly, nails digging in the palm of his hand. "I'm fine, I don't have to deal with Edna right now, so I'm all right. So drop it." Hyde eyes flickered menacingly at Eric, and the older boy knew he needed to drop the subject now or-

"Hyde! I heard your mom's in prison, I bet the cops are investigating very thoroughly… in her pants!" Kelso cried as he slowed his jog to a halt, panting loudly as he approached his friends.

Hyde growled lowly, eyes flaring madly, his facial expression; deadly. He didn't give a fuck about his mom, yet his friends couldn't joke around about her, either; as true as what Kelso said was. Hyde curled his fist and broadened his shoulders, and his teeth clenched tight.

"Oh, no…" Eric whimpered, watching the scene with fearful eyes.

Hyde's fist met Kelso's eye, and the teen crumpled to the floor with the violent contact, hands over his left eye.

"Ow, my eye!" Kelso squealed, groaning in pain, "What would you do that for, man? It hurt!"

"Really?" Hyde cried sarcastically, kicking Kelso in the sides, "Stop talking about my ma!"

"Okay, I was kidding, gosh!" Kelso retorted, slowly standing up again.

"Whatever," Hyde grumbled, then took a shot at the hoop once again. Kelso laughed when he didn't make it through the hoop, and Hyde sneered, chucking the ball at Kelso's stomach.

"Geeze, Hyde, calm down." Eric coaxed as Kelso doubled over once again, Hyde took a deep breath and closed his eyes.

'_You're being like Bud, you said you never would. God damn, I am a fucking monster. Why am I doing this? Oh, right, because you were raised thinking hurting others was a great way to deal with shit. Why am I talking in third person_?' Hyde thought, then began to laugh softly.

Ignoring his friends' confused faces, Hyde offered his hand to Kelso, who hesitantly held it. The younger of the two pulled Kelso up, and mumbled a quick apology. He wasn't good with those, either, so slipping that one out was a very hard task.

What was going to become of him? Hyde figured everyone was wondering the same thing about that issue; he was already slipping into the worn shoes of his parents. Each day he was gradually growing more and more distant, careless, and angry. It wasn't his fault that he ahd his parent's problems and shared their disgusting blood. The thought of him becoming successful wasn't even in his thoughts anymore; he was most likely going to become a burnt out alcoholic, all alone. The no one would depend on him, or be disappointed with his actions.

"Hyde!" he jerked as he climbed back down to Earth- in the Forman's driveway, with Eric and Kelso, the basketball in his hands.

"Huh?" Eric groaned at his response, and took the ball from him.

"I said we're going to play Horse; you were going to go first, but never mind." Hyde shrugged at Eric, and sighed softly; to sure how much more of this he could take.

* * *

"Eric, Steven! It's 8:00, you need to start getting ready for bed. Lights out and asleep at 9:00!" Mrs. Forman called from the foot of the stairs.

"Okay, mom!""Yes, Mrs. Forman!" The two boys responded back in unison.

Hyde couldn't believe that Eric went to bed this early. As the two sat on his floor, talking while one 'organized' his action figures, and the other staring at the wall, the shock on Hyde's face was now evident. He couldn't believe that Eric had a bedtime, then again around this time either he was in a screaming match with his mom or decided on what to eat for dinner. Hyde was a bit bothered by it, as well, he had to be 'asleep' at 9:00? That wasn't even possible. But, he wouldn't say anything, or show any signs that he was bothered by it.

"Hey, Forman, is it all right if I take a shower?" Eric nodded and Hyde sprang up from the floor, then casually walked out of the room. He hadn't had a shower with hot water in a long time… or a decent shower, either.

"Hyde, towels are in the closet in the bathroom!" Eric called and Hyde chuckled, entering Mr. and Mrs. Forman's bedroom, not looking around. Before opening the door, he knocked, to make sure no one was in there- the light was off, but he just wanted to be sure. When no one answered, he turned the door knob and flicked the light on, then locked the door behind him.

When taking off his clothes, Hyde realized he needed to ask Mrs. Forman to wash the outfit, or at least go to his house tomorrow to get some more clothes. He adjusted the water before standing in the shower, so he wouldn't be sprayed with cold water first, like most showers do. Pulling up the switch to change it from a bath to shower, he heard the water gurgle and spray against the wall. Hyde climbed in and smiled, he wouldn't freeze in the shower like he would at home.

The choices for shampoo were endless and slightly scary for him; he wasn't going to walk out of the bathroom smelling like a freakin' coconut or a strawberry.

'No wonder Forman's such a softy,' Hyde thought, then chuckled, pulling back the bottles; what the hell was conditioner? After an almost impossible search, he finally found a shampoo that had no added scent, and decided to use that one. While scrubbing the soap into his curly mop of hair, he realized he was long overdue for a hair cut, but wasn't sure when the next time he'd get one would be. He pondered on giving himself one, but figured out he'd screw up his hair somehow, which would lead to him having to shave his head. It would be best to just wait and see, he decided.

After rubbing his skin almost raw to feel somewhat cleaner, he turned off the water and pulled the curtain back to step out of the shower. He placed his feet on the bathroom rug next to the tub and reached for the towel he had set on the toilet so he could reach it. Drying off his body, he quickly redressed into his dirty clothes, feeling awkward and slightly uncomfortable for standing in the nude in his best friend's bathroom.

He stared in the mirror at his face, and grimaced when seeing a small pimple at the side of his nose. Hyde noticed he was going through a lot of changes right now, and was wondering if his friends were as well. He knew Kelso was by the constant squeaking of his voice, and Hyde was beginning to have the same thing happen to him. None of them ever talked about it, well… Kelso told about his _morning problem _a couple weeks ago, and Hyde had just laughed at him; but other than that, there wasn't anything said. It was just a part of life.

He sighed softly and looked into his eyes. The bags were growing darker under his lids, and his eyes were losing the light he noticed not too long ago. The split lip was healing nicely though, and he hoped the tooth that had been knocked out wasn't an important one, either; that was way in the back though, so no one would notice.

Unlocking the door to the bathroom, Hyde turned off the light and crept back into Eric's room. Hyde saw that his friend wasn't in there, and sighed softly before checking the clock- 8:25.

'When was the last time I took that long of a shower?' He thought, then shrugged his shoulders. Hyde figured that Eric was downstairs, and so he softly padded down the steps.

"Eric? Mrs. Forman?" He called, peering into the living room, seeing no one. He sighed softly and made his way to the kitchen; still no one. "Mr. Forman?" He called, going into the man's office; no one was in there, either.

Hyde stepped out the glass doors and heard soft talking, he nodded, realizing they were all at the front side of the house and backtracked through the home to the living room. Opening the door to the porch, he glanced up, about to ask if he could borrow another of Eric's pajamas, when his lightened expression fell.

"S-Steven," Kitty stammered, biting her lip nervously as his eyes glanced up at Edna. "We were just talking with your mother, she's back and was wondering if you-"

"Steven, your uncle Ray has been kind enough to offer his home to us to live with him. We're going to stop at home quick and grab your stuff. He lives just across the town, so you won't be far from your friends."

Hyde's throat tightened as he curiously looked at the car that was parked along the curb; he'd never seen it before. Glancing back at his mom she gave him a look that read 'go along with it' and he sighed softly.

"Uh… well…" he trailed off, trembling softly. She probably met this guy at jail or something, and he knew that the only place 'across town' was either the really expensive houses or the trailer park. And by the look of the car he knew they'd be staying at no mansion.

"Steven, come on." Edna growled to him impatiently, pointing towards the car. He bit his lip and smiled weakly at the Forman's; once again ashamed and embarrassed of who he was.

"Thanks for letting me stay with you," He murmured, hugging Mrs. Forman and she nodded.

"You know you're always welcome, sweetie," She replied, he smiled at the family, not wanting to be torn from this moment. His mom pulled violently on his arm and he jerked forward, dragging himself behind her to the rusting old vehicle, eyes glued to the warm house he was just in.

He climbed in the backseat and stared right out the grimy windows, staring at the family who looked worried for him and his heart beat with the pain that was beginning to swallow him; he was leaving the ones who cared.


	21. Chameleon Boy

_**Author's Note: Hello all! Right now I just got back from babysitting my cousin's son since she and her husband went to see Tom Petty (grr), and I had time tonight instead of mowing the three acres of lawn (since I only got three hours of sleep last night lol), so I decided to update this early; which of course you probably don't mind. I just thought this would be interesting to share: My sister and I took Jackson- my cousin's son, on a walk to this park last night, and while we were walking, we passed by a street; 7th Avenue. I looked at the road and the sidewalk, and I was in total awe; it as exactly like I pictured 7th Avenue in the story. But I hadn't ever noticed it was that street before, or even really looked at it; it was crazy! I thought it was really cool though, it made me sort of sad at the same time haha. I hope you guys like this chapter, it's a little sad, but there is humor in it as well. It deals with Valentine's day, and growing up, and then a sort of shock thing at the end, which is my prediction for one of the reasons Hyde hates V-Day (besides the total government scam :D) And keep voting on that poll on my profile, please? And check out the forum board URL in the reviews section (I'll post it right away!)**_

_**Thanks!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: I know Mrs. Shinsky was the 2nd**__** grade teacher, or that's what I think it is at least (I can't remember, although that sounds about right) but I made that Mrs. Briggs… so bear with me :D. **_

* * *

_I changed my color for you, I shed my coat with caution, and I lack the beauty you display. See here there are the bruises, and some were self-inflicted, and some showed up along the way. So I nod my head; I'm ready for the world to see the secret I kept here inside the man you thought I'd be. Slip into coma calm, the coma where I calm myself down; here comes excuses, why I let you down, Stand by for another breakdown, sound off the alarm; is this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't become? Chameleon boy, chameleon boy. So now we've come upon the hardest thing I've ever done; It's telling you that I'm a mess. What sort of mess I mean is self-destructive gasoline. The kind that strips you of your best and while I play instead the way that most would end up dead. You sleep alone at home and wish that I were in our bed. With this I'm telling you my color changes back to blue. How do I ask you this, will you help me through? Stand by for another breakdown, sound off the alarm. Is this the chameleon boy I swore I wouldn't become? I try to think of all the people I looked up to, while growing up who would I be. Now the twisted part: Where did all my idols end up? They've all passed away..._

Three dismal months had passed by, with little joy, and a lot of cold. Hyde and Edna stayed with "Uncle Ray" until the first part of December; their house was finally repaired so they could live in it once again. Hyde never realized how much he could miss their running down, creaky house, until he lived in a trailer that used a curtain for a bathroom door.

Hyde was determining whether or not he should pull away from the people he loved. He was so scared of getting hurt by them when they would leave him, just like everything and everyone else in the past. But at the same time, they made him feel safe and secure, and he never felt that way. It felt as if at least the Formans would always be there for him, and he needed that. His friends were the best he knew he'd ever have; he didn't want to hang around with the bullies, because that's where he knew he'd be if he didn't have them. Either the bullies, or no one.

Today was Hyde's most dreaded day' Valentine's Day. All of the students in his class were so excited for the day; all of them talked about crushes or their 'partners' and got lots of candy and cards and treats, and it all made Hyde sick. Why did lovers need a holiday dedicated to them? The lace, the pink, the whole idea of Valentine's Day made him sick. The government was just trying to get people to buy their products and brainwashing them to help corporate America, but Hyde saw through there ways; though he was the only one. Even Donna was excited about the holiday, which really surprised him.

"Students," Mrs. Shinsky called, "You can begin to pass out your treats!" All of the kids cheered, yet Hyde just scoffed, opening his desk and grabbing out the notebook Donna had bought for him for Christmas. Turning to the last page he had written in, he continued the passage and ignored the sudden loud chatter of his classmates as they ran around the room, passing out love notes and sweets.

_It's chaotic. It's madness. It's everything I hate but I'm caught in between and I can't stop. It's suffocating, I'm losing this battle. It's absolutely crazy now, I feel like I'm in this tornado, or whirlwind of life, emotions, actions, everything; it's crazy man! One minute I actually feel good and it's great and I'm open and happy. Then something or someone has to ruin it, and I'm curling back in this zen shell. It's all I know, I want to find a way out… but no one lets me. This isn't who I want to be, the person in the mirror that looks back at me is not what I want to become. But I just can't help it. Can I? _

The last two sentences stared him down, burning into his brain. He traced them over and over again with his pen, making them bold; when he looked back on this, he'd want to look back and remember that was important to him.

When he wrote, everything was blocked out. That was the only thing to help clear his conscience, to give him that peace that he needed. It was his way of speaking, but no one would ever see these personal thoughts of his. Donna knew he needed that, that's why she bought it for him, she said it was for him to write lyrics, but they both knew he'd use it for his own private stuff. It was really nice of her, it was one of the best Christmas presents he had ever gotten, actually.

"Aww look!" Hyde heard someone call, then watched as a hand smacked down on his notebook page. He quickly shut the notebook and glanced up, eyes matching the face to the voice; Alex… some kid he never talked to, but gave some people problems. "Steven Hyde's a loser, he's got no candy! Nobody likes him!" The sound of people laughing filled his ears, and he pursed his lip, eyes narrowing.

"What do you want?" He mumbled, flicking the pen in his hand.

"What is that?" Alex asked, taking the black notebook out of his hand. Hyde's heart skipped and he reached up for it; Alex grinned and lifted it above his head. "Is this a diary? Hey, Steven has a diary!"

"It's Hyde, and that's not a diary," Hyde growled, standing up out of his seat, jaw set. "Give it back," he warned the slightly taller boy, who just chuckled.

"Let's see…" Alex flipped open to one of the pages, and Hyde closed his eyes as he saw the boy's eyes scan the paper. "Oh, perfect! 'Sometimes, I can't stand myself; who I am, where I live, my life, my mom… anything! Sometimes I just want to hurt someone, or hurt myself, I wish my mom could find some way to just die… I wish I'd never been-"

Hyde pulled back his fist and felt his knuckles collide with Alex's jaw. With his left hand, he punched his stomach, and the whole room gasped in horror at what happened before them. Alex collapsed to the ground, the notebook next to him, and Hyde trembled with anger, his eyes tearing up from the fury; thankfully no one could see.

"Steven Hyde! Go to the office, NOW!" Mrs. Shinsky cried. Hyde gulped and bent down to grab his notebook, and set it back in his desk.

"He started it," He mumbled, lowering his head as he made his way out of the classroom.

Hyde was swimming in his mind again. What had gone through his system? Why was he always beating up people now? It seemed to be the best way to get it through the dumbass kids' heads. No one listened to him when he spoke, he needed his fists to do what his words couldn't. It killed him, he didn't want to be like his father; it was unavoidable though. Maybe Bud went through the same thing as a kid; maybe Bud had been abused, maybe he didn't have a way to talk. Hyde felt the acidic taste as he realized he was sympathizing, maybe empathizing with his asshole of a father. That just wasn't do-able. He couldn't be anything like that bastard, or his mother, either. He had to stop this violence, calm his anger, find other ways to deal with problems, he couldn't just wail at peoples' heads his whole life; it would get him in a whole lot of trouble.

No one ever listened to him. They always blamed him for everything, even if he wasn't in the room. Just because he was raised wrong didn't mean he was a 'bad kid' who everyone could blame. It wasn't like Alex was innocent, yet he'd cry and say Hyde was writing something about him, and then got mad at Alex and punched him. It's how things always went. Ever since… he didn't even remember when his trouble making days had began. How had he gotten this branding?

Taking a deep breath, Hyde entered the principal's office and walked passed the secretary who watched as he knocked on Mr. Carter's door. Hyde saw Mrs. Shinsky rush in the room, with Alex, who was crying and clutching his stomach. They made their way into the nurse's office, and before they entered the room, Alex flipped him off. He shook his head in anger and rested his head against the wall.

'This is bullshit,' he thought, wanting to punch the wall or himself.

His teacher reappeared and glanced at him momentarily, before knocking viciously on Mr. Carter's door. Hyde watched as the door opened, he thought it was funny that when he knocked it was ignored, and she stepped inside the office for a brief moment.

"Steven, please come in." Mr. Carter ordered, he reluctantly followed suit. He sat down in the chair that sat across from his large desk; he felt like he was about to be interrogated. "Mrs. Shinsky says that you hit Alex Richardson multiple times until he fell down, is this true?" Hyde sighed softly and nodded.

"Yes, but-"

"And you know hitting other students, no matter what reason you did it, is against all school rules."

"I know, but-"

"Everyone saw you hit him, Steven. Whatever provoked it, it doesn't matter. You could have handled it differently, but you didn't. You chose violence, Steven, and you're suspended until Monday."

"But, Mr. Carter, I can-"

"I'm calling your mother." His principal finished, picking up the phone. Hyde sighed inwardly and folded his arms on his chest.

"Whatever," he mumbled, eyes staring vacantly at the floor.

This was insane; Alex played the innocent, hurt child who antagonized the situation. And Hyde was being suspended for this? It was no use to call his mom, either. She wouldn't care about his suspension, and she wouldn't answer any phone either, she was 'working'. This day was playing out its part well; when he has a day picked out to hate, it truly comes back to bite him in the ass, and it already tormented him enough as it is.

"Hi, Mr. Bower, this is Old Main's principal; Mr. Carter. I was calling to speak to Edna Hyde, about her son, Steven." Hyde raised his eyebrows; she actually went to _work_ for once? His stomach dropped at the thought; she would be in a really bad mood then. When she'd find out she would have to pick him up from school because he was suspended, she'd-

"Ms. Hyde, please calm down," Mr. Carter coaxed over the phone, Hyde scoffed, that would do no good whatsoever. "It's just until Monday, and-" he paused, Hyde could hear her shrill voice yelling at Mr. Carter over the phone. "Yes, you need to pick him up as soon as you can. Thank you, buh-bye." Hyde's principal hung up the phone and took a deep breath, looking very flustered. If he thought that was bad, Hyde couldn't wait until she was actually here, for once.

"Your mom is on the way to get you, Steven. You may go back to the classroom and get your homework and textbooks for the remainder of the week." Hyde scoffed at what Mr. Carter said and stood up out of the uncomfortable metal left the room in silence, mind drawn to a blank. He couldn't believe how unfair all of this was, and yet he was being blamed for everything. no one bothered to ask his side of the story; he had no voice.

* * *

Three hours later, Hyde, Eric, Donna and Kelso were gathered in Eric's basement; all of them having a small conversation during the commercials between _Bewitched, _Hyde only watched it for Samantha_. _Hyde's ears were still ringing from the car ride home with his mom, who was about ready to kill him right then and there when she got into the principal's office. He didn't even listen to her shout at him, he just knew when she was talking about him because her voice raised in that way that sounded like a screaming, dying cat. His friends were all curious with what happened, and he had told them the full story with as little details as possible, just the important information.

"I can't believe you got _suspended_," Eric mumbled, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and took another sip from his root beer.

"Yeah, it's cool though. I don't have to go to school til Monday, I can just sit around and do whatever, man," He replied, knowing that wouldn't be the way things would be for him. But he'd say it so his friends didn't worry about him. Kelso gasped and his eyes widened in shock, which confused Hyde because they all knew his brothers have had many suspensions.

"Uh! No way, that is AWESOME! I wanna get suspended!" he cried, Hyde chuckled and shook his head at his friend, eyes turning back to the television.

"Well, Hyde, it will go on your permanent record, and that won't look good for college," Donna reminded him, he scoffed and raised his eyebrows at her.

"So?" Hyde and Kelso asked in unison.

"Donna, unlike you, I don't care about my permanent record. It's just a document the government makes up to decide which kids will be the most brainwashed into their society of sheeple. Besides, I'm not going to college," the three rolled their eyes at him, and he didn't see the point in sharing his opinions with them, they always just looked down on them and thought they were ridiculous. But on the outside, he looked cool and zen, like he didn't even notice how they reacted to his statement.

"This Valentine's Day sucked," Eric mumbled, Donna chuckled and Hyde groaned in annoyance; not this Valentine's Day crap _again_!

"Oh, it wasn't too bad. Kelso, are you going to see Jackie tonight?" Donna asked, Hyde turned to Kelso cautiously.

"Kelso, I thought she fell off the face of the Earth? Oh don't tell me Toto is still around." He barked, God if she came over here today, that would ruin everything... he's just leave and probably not come back for another two weeks. Kelso laughed at him and shook his head. "Damn," he mumbled, picking at his fingers to look busy.

"Yeah, I'm gonna eat supper with her tonight." Eric and Donna nodded, probably thinking that was a good idea, while Hyde just scowled at the lovey dovey crap.

"I got a lot of cards and candy, I didn't know I was popular, it was awesome." Donna piped up, searching through her decorated bag and pulled out a Tootsie Roll. Eric, Hyde, and Kelso glanced at each other momentarily, and grinned at one another after hearing her statement.

"Yeah, you sure are," Kelso prodded, she grinned and looked happy, Hyde hoped she wouldn't find out why she _was_ so popular... she might duct tape herself; Hyde shuddered at the thought.

"Can I have some?" Hyde questioned her, eyeing the bulging paper bag full of candy. Donna furrowed her eyebrows and scrunched her face at him.

"No, you got candy!" Eric made a sharp, almost inhaled hissing noise at Donna and he shook his head. "What?" Donna asked, confused, Hyde lowered his head and chuckled softly.

"No, I didn't." He murmured, playing with his hole-y cuff of his flannel long sleeved shirt. Donna blushed and stared hard at the ground also, while a gradual laughing was heard beside her.

"You-didn't get-candy?" Kelso choked in between fits of laughter, then finally burst into hysterics. Hyde narrowed his eyes. "What a loser."

"Don't-" Eric warned Kelso, but he had already said it. Hyde's expression was placid, trying to fight back the urge to pulverize Kelso.

'This one last time won't hurt anyone...' Hyde thought, and smiled softly.

Everyone was silent, waiting for him to punch Kelso yet he just stayed planted on his chair, watching the show on the TV. He paid attention to Donna, Kelso and Eric yet made it look like he was mesmerized by Bewitched, he was waiting for his friends to act normal again, and turn their attention away from him and Kelso's insult. Only a minute had passed before they averted their eyes to the screen, he thanked himself once again for always wearing his sunglasses; his hard stare against them wasn't even noticed.

Hyde suddenly sprang forward and tackled Kelso, which probably knocked the wind out of him, the two fell on the right side of the couch. Eric squeaked in terror as they landed against his lap, one of Hyde's hands pulling Kelso's shaggy hair, the other punching his sides.

"Hyde! Gerroff me!" Kelso cried, voice muffled by Hyde's shirt, Dona was laughing softly at the two fighting against each other.

They wrestled, trying to fight for dominance now, Kelso lacked defense skills, while Hyde had learned them young. He gripped onto Kelso's shoulders, wanting to just salm him against the floor, hopefully bash his head up. Hyde pushed himself back so they would fall off, then gut punched Kelso so the older boy would collide with the cement floor. When Kelso landed on his back, Hyde hadn't thought of the position he would be in, so he found himself lying on Kelso, chin resting on his chest.

Hyde quickly scrambled off of his friend, eyes widened in horror, and creeped out by how it ended; he wouldn't even be able to look at Kelso for a few days. To make himself look occupied and casual about everything, he flattened out his shirt, and popped his knuckles.

"I'll be… bathroom…" Kelso murmured quickly, dashing up the basement stairs. Hyde felt a mixture of wanting to laugh at the situation they had been in, and throw up about it all at the same time, it was not a good mix. This would be a great burn on Kelso; if only it wasn't Hyde who was the other person. He sat back in his char and took off his sunglasses to wipe off the smudges earned from the fight.

"What just happened?" Donna asked, Hyde shrugged, trying not to hear her, or act like he hadn't.

"That was weird, one second you tackle him and I'm laughing, and then you're on me like a couple of dogs!" Eric cried, Hyde laughed sarcastically, then sent him a dark glare.

"Ha… yeah… hilarious." he mumbled softly, trying to fight against the violent shudders of disgust that wanted to rip through him.

"No, Hyde, seriously, are you okay?" he nodded slowly. "Something had to have happened."

"No!" Hyde barked in defense, then cleared his throat. "I mean, nothing happened, everything is fine. I'm fine and… he's fine." he added quickly, attempting to regain composure. Donna eyed him suspiciously, but shrugged her shoulders; she wasn't going to force it out of him.

"So… in three months, we'll be in middle school, can you believe that?" Eric piped up to fill in the awkward silence.

"Uh, I can't believe I'm _going _to middle school." Hyde responded honestly, trying to clear his mind, find his zen, and forget what happened with Kelso.

"Oh, Hyde, watch; you're gonna end up being the class valedictorian when we graduate," Donna teased him, he sneered at her and scoffed loudly; hell would freeze over before that would happen.

"Will we all still be friends?" Hyde asked finally; this question had been bugging him for awhile. He had a growing suspicion that as soon as they walked through the junior high doors, they would all gradually grow apart. They would all eventually find their own little groups and cliques; Kelso with the popular kids or jocks, Donna with the smart, creative, but cool kids, and Eric with either the other 'action figure lovers' or the class clowns (Hyde wouldn't call Eric a geek or nerd.) And where would Hyde be? Shoved to the bottom of everything; with the bad kids, the rebels, the outcasts- the kids like him. But he wouldn't really be with them, it's just where everyone would tag him; in reality he'd walk and sit alone, waiting. Waiting for his friends to return, so they could all… be together. In Forman's basement.

"Of course, Hyde, we're all going to be friends til the end, remember?" Donna reassured, he smiled softly and nodded once, hoping that it was true. He didn't want to be full of false hope and empty promises from the people he cared about most; he got enough of that from his parents.

The sudden, loud shriek from Eric broke Hyde's concentration; he turned to find out what caused Eric's freak out, and groaned in annoyance.

"Forman, you have got to be kidding me, man! It's a fucking spider! You haven't eaten anymore of Laurie's _mints_, have you?" Hyde asked, joking with Eric about the last bit, who looked like he had just seen a ghost. Sighing heavily, he stood up from his chair and walked toward the spider. However, instead of stomping on it like he usually would, Hyde had a better idea. Hyde bent down, his knees popped as he did so, and brushed the black spider into the palm of his hand, and soon enclosed it with his fist, but made sure he wouldn't crush it. Clutching it in his hand, he shook it a couple of times, then tossed the spider at Eric. The loud, high screams filled the room as Eric screamed for his mom; Donna and Hyde laughed maniacally at that.

"That was awful!" Donna choked, wiping the laughter induced tears from her eyes. Hyde grinned with her and shrugged his shoulders.

"He needs to get over that fear, man. They're just bugs." He replied, Donna nodded and looked as if she were deep in thought.

"So… what did happen with Kelso?" Hyde's stomach squirmed at her question.

"Nothin', man," he tried to convince her that, but somehow she could see through that façade. "Fine… he… for some reason found our wrestling… uh… very exciting…" Hyde trailed off, finally allowing the shudders to possess his body. Hyde immediately regretted telling her when she broke down into hysterics once more; maybe he would find this all funny in five years, but right now, she was not allowed to laugh.

"I knew something was up with him. Aww, Hyde, he has a crush on you!" Donna teased, pinching his cheeks for added effect. Hyde swatted at her hands and snapped his head away from her, scowling sourly; which caused her laughing to slowly cease. "I'm sorry… it does suck for you, but that would be a wicked burn." Hyde smirked at that, and gave a tiny half nod.

"I s'pose," he grumbled, running his hand through his hair.

"Hey, uh… Hyde? Now that we're alone, I wanted to give this to you quick. I'm sorry about your… day." Donna murmured, handing him an envelope written with his name in cursive.

"…Thanks, Donna," he stammered, turning it over to tear it open, yet saw she had written '_read when you're alone_' by the seal; his heart skipped a beat.

* * *

Hyde sat on the curb of 7th Avenue four hours later, staring down at his feet, the snow lightly falling. Why hadn't it been like this last year? Why had it been so cold? He couldn't think about that now, it was over and done with, nothing could change it.

His fingers fumbled over the envelope Donna had given him, he figured now was a good enough time to read it, he was alone, anyway. With shaking hands, he used his jagged fingernails to tear open the seal and he pulled out the piece of notebook paper and took a deep breath before reading.

_Dear Hyde,_

_It's crazy how long we've all been friends, huh? I've known you since I was five years old, unlike Eric and Kelso, I wasn't really all that afraid of you, or intimidated, I should say. I saw you just like them, but they thought you were tougher, which you are, but… you know what I mean. You're someone I can talk to about a lot of things I don't feel comfortable talking about with anyone else, I don't know what that means, but I value that in you. It's like you really do care about what I feel and what I have to say, and you don't judge me by my opinions, either. _

_I know you hate emotional mushy stuff, but this isn't really like that. You're my closest friend, and I know things are hard for you, especially around this time of year… especially today. But don't listen to what people say; including your mom. You know half the time she isn't in her right mind, and she isn't upset with you, she's upset with herself. You don't have to listen to what everyone else expects you to become; be yourself, don't fall in line with what they predict. I don't want that for you and I know you don't either. _

_We're all going to grow up and be as close to each other as we are now, if not even closer. We're going to have so many adventures and tons of memories, but I'm glad I have these with you. You're a great person, Steven Hyde. I don't want to ever lose you, and I don't plan on ever seeing that happen in my life, either. We're always going to be friends, and just remember that me and Eric and Kelso, we're never gonna leave you. We're always gonna be there for you._

_With love,_

_Donna _

_2/14/72_

He wasn't sure how to feel after reading that; he hadn't heard anything like that about him before; how could she see so much in him? It was Donna though, he had to remember that, she saw a lot of things in people that no one ever suspected. He felt a smile tug at his lips and he sighed, tucking the letter away in his pocket after folding it back up properly. How could a girl make him feel this way? He didn't want this, she didn't know what that meant to him, and she probably never would. Those were some of the kindest words anyone had ever told him, and it made him just want to laugh and smile for eternity.

But then a pain filled his heart as he looked around his setting, his feet covered two inches in falling snow, the 7th Avenue sign glaring its evil eyes at him, giving him a constant reminder of that fatal day. Would she leave, just like Chris? He never meant to lose Chris, or even Bud, yet they had both found ways of slipping from him? What if she didn't know of her sudden absence from him? What if she….

Hyde shook his head and cradled it in his lap, feeling the tears fall. He couldn't think about that, especially not tonight, when he was being haunted by the events of four years ago. How could that much time already slip away? It only seemed like yesterday, the cold and numb, the ache he felt… so exhausted.

Hyde's chest tightened as tears welled in his eyes, he took a deep, shaky breath and blinked back the waterworks, he wouldn't cry, here or now or anytime. He turned the sky, saw the snow flakes gliding beautifully down from the sky, yet he hated it, hated all of winter, especially how magnificent the crystals could look; they took away the most important thing to him. He saw a few stars gleaming in the sky and he whimpered, letting a tear fall down his cheek.

"Chris… I-I'm sorry," he whispered, burying his head in his hands, shoulders shaking with the silent sobs he couldn't hold back any longer. He knew that this was his secret; no one remembered the exact day, not even his mother; and yet the February the 14th tore at his heart every year, making a deeper wound in his heart, in his mind, and in his soul.


	22. The Sound of Madness

_**Author's Note: This one is quite interesting… it's not really dark but… I guess in a way it is. I really, really enjoyed writing this one… I don't know whether or not it's too fast paced or not, or if there is enough detail, but I hope there is. And for the first time in a long time, this was one I had completely written in my notebook before typing it (my computer is kaput, and I'm using my older sister's right now). **_

_**Some important information you may or may not want to know, but I'm telling you anyway: **_

_**First, like I said before, I have all of the episodes I will use picked out. I'm thinking about putting up a post as a chapter with all of them posted in a few days, I'm not sure though… I sort of want it to be a surprise. I will add in some of my own things as well though, sort of like missing scenes and whatnot, I dunno… you'll just see :D. This is going to turn out to be a really, really long story, I have figured out, so I hope you don't mind that.**_

_**Second, I have the plot written out for after Season Eight. I know some things people will love, people will hate, people will cry, and laugh, but in the end you'll all love it. And no, Sam will not be put back in this story, if that's what you're thinking. It will get pretty intense and pretty sad, but it's also so perfect and it's heartwarming and it will make you go "aww" :D**_

_**Third, I know I haven't posted the link yet, but the link to the fan board IS in the review sections, just search for it :D. It's tons of fun, but I haven't been on in awhile (computer= not worky), but you should definitely check it out :D. And also, keep on voting in the poll on my page!**_

_**Finally, thanks to everyone who has been reviewing, I'm sorry I haven't gotten back to you, but I promise I will soon! I love seeing support and that you guys enjoy this story, so please, PLEASE review? (It's not for the sake of me feeling like I'm accomplished at something, either :P)**_

_**So this was pretty long, and I'm going to stop it because it's early in the morning and I haven't slept yet and I am rambling…**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

_Yeah, I get it, you're an outcast; always under attack, always coming in last. Bringing up the past, no one owes you anything. I think you need a shotgun blast, a kick in the ass. So paranoid… watch your back! Another loose cannon gone bi-polar, slipped down, couldn't get much lower. Quicksand's got no sense of humor, I'm still laughing like hell. You think that crying to me, looking so sorry that I'm gonna believe, you've been infected by a social disease. Well, then take your medicine. I created the sound of madness, wrote the book on pain; somehow I'm still here to explain. That the darkest hour never comes in the night. You can sleep with a gun; when you gonna wake up and fight... for yourself_?

Blue eyes glared into blue eyes with disgust and loathing. How he couldn't stand it; being just like her. He had her eyes, and his anger, and both of their dependence. Their worst traits melded together into one body, one monster, equally hated and mistreated to get back at all of the wrongs in their life. Their little monster, growing bigger and bigger every day, each breath was a waste of air, each step, a flan in plans.

Hyde stared into his reflection in the dirty bathroom mirror, eyes boring into his, and faced marred by more than just pimples. The bruise on his jaw was beginning to fade away, now he looked ridiculous instead of rugged. And now his eyes were outlined by dark bags, as well as bloodshot from the heavy amounts of smoke in his house. A scar trailed diagonally from the ride side of his nose to right under his eye lid; that had been there for years though. So much had changed in five years, yet the reminder of his stolen innocence was visible on his face, and stomach, and he'd always deal with the weight of everything, silently.

The sound of loud moaning was heard through the paper thin walls; he gagged and nearly threw up when hearing the sounds emitting from his mom's room. He tried to forget about Edna and her disgusting second career, yet from how it sounded, the two… or three, or four, he'd seen it before, in her room would crumble down the walls.

In twelve hours, he would be a 7th grader. He would be walking down foreign halls, pissing off teachers who had never heard of him, and avoiding 8th graders that have nothing better to do than beat up the 7th grade kids. He would finally be considered an adolescent, or a teen, rather than a little kid; though everyone picks on the _sevvies_ and makes sure they go through _hell_. Hyde was still in shock that he made it passed sixth grade, that he would he would actually be walking through the foreign halls, and avoiding swirlies; he never thought he'd see it… even though he didn't really want to.

A part of his life was ending its chapter. Already, there were so many memories that he had, that helped craft him into the person he was at this moment. Some things absolutely insane, some horrifying, but mostly hilarious. Now he'd be moving on to a new segment, and that made him feel sick. A part of him was glad that what he went through was all being put behind him and that he had made it through. But he knew he was only growing older, and from here on out everything would only get harder and more complicated. People would expect him to step up and apply himself; teachers wouldn't know to exclude him from class discussions. Hyde decided that the sooner he showed them his lack of ambition, the faster they would leave him alone.

Hyde placed his hand on his left shoulder, the cap swollen and jutting out from the socket. He winced at the gentle touch, and wondered if the damage from his _fall_ was more serious than he had imagined; it sure felt like it, at least.

'_Stupid bitch_,' Hyde thought about Edna, trailing his hand from his shoulder, down his arm that rested limp against his side. He couldn't go to the hospital, he didn't have insurance, and his mom only had $30 which was kept in her bra; and he was not about to get that. If it got any worse, he'd ask Mrs. Forman to look at it, she was a nurse after all. At least in about five years he wouldn't have to deal with Edna any longer. Once he was gone, he'd be gone for good, she couldn't care, anyway.

Tomorrow was a start for a lot of things it seemed. He'd be forced into a new society of people he didn't want to know. Hyde had a sick feeling that the friendships he had would be tested, and he didn't want to lose them, especially Donna. But, they would be criticized even more than they already were for being friends with him. Hyde promised himself he would never let any of his friends get hurt, and if they were being put through hell, he'd do whatever it took to stop it. Eric, Donna, and Kelso weren't just his best and closest friends; they were his _only_ friends. How he had gotten them, Hyde would never understand; yet he would thank his lucky stars for getting them in his life. He could only hope that they didn't abandon him and each other for other social callings, even though they promised they wouldn't, he still had this nervous feeling they would. It scared him more than anything.

Hyde began to think of Old Maine and his thoughts turned angry. That place had branded him with stereotypes he truly didn't fit in to. The teachers wouldn't help him, or even talk to him, and didn't seem to care what happened to him at home. Even though they were supposed to. People became afraid of him and turning against him because of who they were; antagonizing someone because of their own insecurities. Pick on someone lower than you, then you'll feel great; he was the lowest of them all. But, he wasn't some angry animal, or a circus freak that you can poke with a stick, he was a kid; and they could just leave him alone, because he never bothered anyone. But somehow they got it through their dumb little kid brains that he did, and they all hate him; for no reason.

The thought of other children having to suffer through years in the future at that school disturbed Hyde. The teachers were all so rude and mean, the building was falling apart, and too hot in the spring and fall, too cold in the winter. He couldn't stand that place; even just thinking about it put him on edge. He could remember all of the times when he sat in class, staring at the pipes on the ceiling, and silently hoping that something would go wrong and the entire school would just burst into flame.

A smirk crossed Hyde's face as an idea flickered through his brain. How many other students felt the same way as he? _If_ it _somehow_ was burnt to the ground, a bunch of kids would never have to go to school there anymore; tomorrow, the next day, a year, two years, never! Those pipes leaked, anyway, so the idea of there being a fire wouldn't be completely unlikely. And torching the place _would_ give him closure about showing the school what they did to him. And no one would know that it was him who did it! He would save other students from having their hopes and ambitions crushed. It was karma… it was perfect.

Turning off the bathroom light, Hyde kicked the discarded clothes away from his feet as he stumbled to his bedroom. Hyde knew how to find the boiler room in the school, hell he had _slept_ in there a few times. It was 10:30 at night, meaning no one would be at the school, and he had plenty of time to do this. He found it quite funny that all of his acts of revenge lead to fire, but it always seemed to be the best solution. Besides, there was no other way that he could show the school how he felt.

He sat on his mattress and slid his feet into his boots. His toes were smashed against the inside of the tip, and his heels were blistering from the lack of room. Hyde grimaced in pain, but would take no notice to the condition of his footwear at the current state; there were much more important matters to think about. He ran his hand through his hair a couple of times and took a heavy breath before standing up from his broken mattress. He softly closed his door after grabbing a long sleeved shirt for his walk.

With his mind set, Hyde walked out his front porch with Zippo lighter in hand. A sadistic smirk was spread across his face as he silently crept to the small tool shed in their back yard. Lifting the rusty hatch, Hyde pulled open the creaky door and blindly felt around the shed for one thing in mind. It had seemed almost impossible to find the gas can, yet soon Hyde's hands bumped against the plastic container. They were _supposed_ to save it for the lawn mower, but they wouldn't need to mow the lawn any time soon… hopefully.

Hyde snuck through the night, avoiding street lights and taking back alleys as much as possible. It wasn't that he was afraid of being in the night, as long as he had light, he'd be fine. It was that he had a gas can in hand, and if anyone saw him, they'd question what he was doing; and that was pretty damn obvious. There weren't too many cars or people out, but he had to be cautious; the cops were always unintentionally busting people in the middle of the night for something.

A part of Hyde wished that he had his friends with him, yet it was better that they weren't here. They could rat him out, or they would be too loud and careless, and end up getting caught. Also, it was dangerous. And he couldn't see any of them committing a crime this big; with or without him. But he worked better alone, anyway, there were no distractions; he would get this done, and he would get it done right.

Hyde felt very uncomfortable all of a sudden, when sneaking through the back ends of stores that were familiar. Where he sometimes traded and did deals for his mom when she was passed out on some narcotic. A feeling almost like nausea ripped through him, it was brought on by being creeped out; like he wasn't alone, and was being watched or followed. _Paranoia_. No, he wasn't going to chicken out of this; it was perfect for getting back at the school. He wasn't afraid of breaking the law, either; it was so easy for him to do. What he _was_ afraid of was the area he was currently walking through; how silent it was all around him, the still air, and the overwhelming darkness… it was too much for him. It could not have been because of one of the few fears he did have (the dark), but it was a place he hated to be around, for obvious reasons.

Hyde with his heart skipping so fast in fear, quickly bolted form the dark, smelly alley, the can of gasoline sloshing with each step. The inside of his boots dug into his skin as he ran, but he paid no mind to the shocks of pain. He was now a block away from the school; he mentally noted how eerie it looked in the night, with no lights on. Hyde stood on the street across from the dreaded building, staring right at the front doors with unshielded eyes. Hyde switched the gas can into his left hand; the tug of the canister weighing down his arm caused his already aching shoulder to throb.

Taking a very deep breath, Hyde took a step off of the curb and ontot he street, silently hoping that his paranoia would vanish. Before high tailing it up the sidewalk leading ot his former elementary school, Hyde's eyes scanned the houses on the block to visually check that the homeowners were settled for sleep, or at least not out and about. He chuckled and shook his head, not actually believing he was so freaked out about this task.

'_Then again, you're about to blow up a fucking school- WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU THINKING, YOU MORON?_' Hyde asked himself silently, silently tip toeing up to the school, completely enveloped in the blackness of the night. '_Oh, right, technically speaking, I'm not thinking, so therefore, this is okay to do , and why am I talking to myself?_' Hyde scoffed at his own thoughts, then chuckled slightly and shook his head. "Well, at least it's not arguing… that would be bad, very, very bad." He mumbled softly, lifting the heel of his boot, and then smashed it into one of the locker room windows in the basement of the school. Hyde sighed with relief when an alarm didn't sound, and crouched toward the ground. He'd have to pick out the rest of the glass pieces by hand so he could fit; the windows were tiny enough already. Hyde shook some of the bigger shards back and forth to loosen them, like a tooth. Some pieces clawed into his palms and stuck in his flesh, he could see the transparent glass still in the window tinted with a dark liquid- he ignored the dull pulsing of his hands as he continued to work his way into the locker room.

When all of the glass was tossed to the floor of the room, and both sides and wrists of each hand were raw and bloody, Hyde called it good; it was time to go in. Width wasn't a problem, he was only a little bit bigger than Eric, and that was only because he was shorter and more muscular. No, he was worried about this shoulder; the thing was way out of whack and extremely sensitive. If he bent his arm the wrong way, or barely tapped it against _anything_, he'd howl in pain. But whatever he went through here was worth it in the end… he'd just have to remind himself that.

After tossing the gas can ever so gently (or as gently as he could) into the room below, Hyde lowered himself so he was sitting, feet dangling through the window. Holding onto the sill with his right hand, Hyde, in one very swift movement, ducked the rest of his body under the window. His grip slipped and he felt himself almost freeze in mid air for a mere second, before falling to the cement on his side. Hyde's eyes squeezed shut as tears welled in his eyes, his body was curled on the floor f the boy's locker room. His breathing was shallow as he regained composure; he hadn't hurt this much since Bud. But he quickly shook it off; he had a mission to complete.

As he ran out of the room, his hand swooped down and grabbed the can, then bolted up the steps of the sweat and must scented room. His footsteps echoed in the gymnasium as he rushed through, silently laughing as he realized this was the most exercise he had ever done in here. Hyde skidded to a halt when he neared the stairs by the stage that lead to the boiler room. (It was so easy to sneak in the room and have a joint in P.E., it wasn't even funny) His left hand gripped the railing and he dashed down the two sets of steps, taking two stairs at a time.

Hyde approached the always damp boiler room. Spider webs were hanging all around the dark room, and the squeaking of mice heard, as well as a constant dripping of water. It didn't bother Hyde, as he had slept in here quite a few times over the past two years.

His eyes glanced up at the ceiling and his mouth gaped open in awe when seeing all of the pipes in the room. He would have to figure out which one went with the heating system, however crummy it was. He figured he'd need more fire in more areas rather than in just one place. Paint was flammable, and the school was abundant in that, and aerosol was in all of the class rooms. Plus desks were made out of wood, and there were tons of books as well, of course. Hyde sighed softly and rubbed his forehead; this was going to be a long night.

Hyde ran up from the boiler room, through the abandoned halls, to the classrooms. He entered Mrs. Shinsky's first, after kicking the window by her door. He connected all of the desks together, raided the cabinets for books, piled them on top of the group of desks, and then ran out, not before unlocking and opening the door.

Next was Mr. Olavander, his fifth grade teacher. As Hyde organized the desks and toppled the books over them, he realized that going through all of the rooms and reorganizing them would take a long time; he needed an easier strategy. Looking at the cabinet once more, an idea burst in Hyde's head.

"Bingo," he sang, then opened the cupboard. With his hands full with as many books that he could carry, he piled some on the desks, but began to leave a trail of textbooks in the hallways. He did this with all of the rooms but one, his hand held the handle momentarily before he stepped inside.

Mrs. Brigg's room looked different from when he was in there, from what he remembered at least. He only went to her desk, opened the bottom drawer, and smirked at the riding crop.

"I'll be taking this," he chirped to no one, then picked it up in his left hand.

While running through the halls, he began to splash gasoline all around, so there was enough all around and the fire would stay going. Hyde made sure there was enough on the books and desks so they would spread the fire throughout the class rooms, as well. Walking into Mrs. Shinsky's room, Hyde drenched the desks and books with the gas, then opened his Zippo. He flicked the thumbwheel and watched as the books were soon engulfed in high flames; that would definitely spread. Then he did the same to the other four rooms, and when he stepped in the hallway to light the line of books, realized he needed to get to the boiler room; and fast.

Hyde hadn't really thought about getting out in time. There would be a lot of smoke and hopefully the fire wouldn't spread to the area he was in for awhile; but it was gasoline he used, plus many other flammable objects. He could only hope that he would get out in time before the smoke got to him, or the fire.

Hyde stumbled into the boiler room and immediately began loosening pipes, closer to the wall. He was cautious about which ones he turned, he didn't want to end up with water spraying him, or _something else_; he shuddered at that. Hyde found the furnace and smirked; exactly what he was looking for. He followed to where the pipe lines went, and found them, near the door. Before he loosened the pipe, he turned on the furnace, so his scheme would actually work. He poured the rest of the gasoline on the PVC, some sprinkled on his raw skin, it was all he could do to not scream in agony.

With a shaky hand, he turned the knob to the left; it squeaked and creaked as he did so. Gas immediately began to fill the room, and that struck a fear in him; would he make it out in time? While coughing, Hyde lifted his arm to cover his mouth so that he could breathe, the other about to trigger the thumbwheel. Hopefully this wouldn't cause a sudden, huge explosion that blew him into tiny chunks. But, t would be an awesome way to die.

Hyde was poised, ready to bolt as soon as the spark ignited the gasoline. Taking a deep breath into his sleeve, he bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"Burn, mother fucker," Hyde whispered hoarsely, dragging his thumb over the wheel. A chemical hissing was heard, and his flamed turned from orange to a blue/white. He gulped and pulled away the lighter, the fire was now lit.

With his lungs full of whatever gas that was, arms burning from glass and gasoline, the strong smell of smoke filling his nostrils, his shoulder in immense pain, and his feet rubbed raw by his boots, Hyde had a harder time running to the boys' locker room. He staggered to the door and gripped it for support as he ran into the room that seemed to have the cleanest air.

'_How ironic_,' Hyde thought at that, stumbling to the benches. Opening the large, cage-like lockers, He used those to climb up to the top of the lockers, next to the-

"Oh. Shit." Hyde almost squeaked when coming within inches of the same pipe he had just lit on fire in the next room over. Trying, and failing to take a deep breath, Hyde scrambled to the back of the locker tops; the window was right next to them. Yet it wasn't so close that he could just crawl through, he'd have to somehow lunge through it, and smoke had already began to fill the room. Hyde bit his lip once more, trying to judge the distance. If he missed this somehow, he was dead, literally.

"Here goes nothin'," Hyde whispered, then took a small jump to the tiny window. His hands held on to the sill as he began to slip off; God, he was tired. Hyde shook his head at the thought; that was the gases that were permeating the room talking, lulling him to exhaustion. Weakly, he pulled himself up, his left shoulder made a loud ripping sound as he did so. Hyde heard an explosion behind him and whimpered, using his legs to try and pull up the rest of his body. His hands sprang out, and he grinned when they grabbed the brick building, until a piece of glass stabbed into his wrist. But, he wouldn't, couldn't let go. His elbows rested in between the sill, and he would use that as a way to pull up his body.

A heat burst, burning his back and he stifled back the scream that stuck in his throat. He felt something so hot that it was cold pierce his back; the pipe must have exploded. Hyde wriggled his legs out of the sill and fell flat on his stomach, and began heaving.

Now he had to go home? He was so exhausted, there was practically no air in his body; he probably had burns and his arms were a beautiful shade of maroon. His shoulder was sticking up in a way that it shouldn't, and there was this electrifying pain in his back, he tried to grab whatever dug in his skin, but couldn't get it.

Wiping his brow, Hyde attempted to run from the school, to see what he had done. Smoke was billowing out of the windows, some were breaking, and he could see flames licking, reflecting off the windows. He figured someone would have called the cops and fire department by now, so he'd have to high tail it quickly. Bolting down the sidewalk, he could hear his heart pounding angrily in his head and he just laughed. Like he had promised himself, somehow, the pain and current condition he was in, was-

"Totally worth it," Hyde said gruffly, voice weak from the smoke and other gases. And boy, he was excited for tomorrow.


	23. A Little's Enough

_**Author's Note: So, I am glad to post another chapter that I spent the entire day writing. This one is definitely the longest yet, and I am very proud of it. This is a pretty light one, there is quite a bit of humor in it, or at least I think there is. I noticed I hadn't put Jackie in any of the chapters for awhile, so I decided she needed a little role in here as well. Hopefully I'll be able to update more, but I'm not sure… I know I'll be able to tomorrow because once again I'm babysitting, and the little squirt goes to bed at 8:30 (yay!). And I'm very excited, because on Friday I'm going to see Foreigner, Styx, and Kansas (wootage!) I do know how the next chapter is going to go… and I'm not going to say anything about it, except you will be shocked. Hope you like this one, and check the reviews section for the 70's forum we have going**__**, we are talking about doing a fan fic challenge, so check it out! And please leave reviews so I know how people are liking the story.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

_When all is said and done, will we still feel pain inside? Will the scars go away with night? Try to smile for the morning light. It's like the best dream to have, where every thing is not so bad. Every tear is so alone, like God himself is coming home to say, "I can do anything if you want me here, and I can fix anything if you'll let me near. Where are those secrets now that you're too scared to tell? I'll whisper them all aloud so you can hear yourself." I'm sorry I have to say it but you look like you're sad; your smile is gone, I've noticed it bad. The cure is if you let in just a little more love I promise you this; a little's enough_

"Last night at 1:00 in the morning, there was a fire at the Old Maine grammar school, in Point Place, Wisconsin. The school was starting its first day today, but the damage to the school may have been so severe, that they won't reopen. No one was in the fire when it happened, and local authorities are trying to figure out the cause of fire, they suspect arson. For now, the students will have the week off, and the administration will inform the families where their children will go for their education. Onto other news…"

Hyde began laughing hysterically as he lay sprawled on the couch at 6 in the morning, a piece of toast in his hand. The local news in Kenosha had informed him that his mission was successful and that was enough to make his day.

When he got home earlier in the morning, it was 2:30, and as soon as he stepped onto the front porch, he collapsed, a coughing fit tearing at his lungs. He then stumbled into his house, reeking of blood and gasoline, and ran right for the bathroom. Hyde had examined his shoulder, the skin was bulging from the cap and he knew he really messed it up. He then tried to find what was in his back; he ran his hand over his spine, all around the middle of his back, trying to find it. Finally he felt something sharp prick his finger, and he craned his head to look in the mirror. Sure enough there was something shiny barely poking out of his skin, and feeling around the area, he knew it was pretty big.

Now he sat, 3 hours later, trying not to fall asleep on the torn, broken couch. He knew that if he did fall asleep he wouldn't wake up until school was over, and for some reason he wanted to attend the first day. His eyes were heavy though, and the television started to blur as his lids began to shut over his stinging eyes. For the first time in awhile, he felt his body relax and he wanted this feeling to continue; like weightlessness, everything he was feeling, physically and emotionally, was gone. It was the dangerous point between sleep and consciousness, and it was his favorite part of slumber, feeling on edge, you either wake up or give in to the lulling exhaustion.

This time, however, he shot his eyes open and shook off the soothing feeling. His stomach twisted from the lack of sleep, and his head pounded, but that could have been from the exposure to the gases and smoke. Hyde sighed softly and stood up slowly, body aching with his movements, especially his entire left side. He walked through the dusty living room, into the dingy kitchen, and wrinkled his nose in disgust at the smell. Hyde located the cause of his distaste, the large garbage bag by the trash can and shook his head. Taking three steps, he stood right in front of the counter, and on tip toes, reached up into the tall cupboards above him, hands on the coffee can, full of coffee beans he had ground before so his job in the mornings would be easier. He emptied the filter and poured in the strong, comforting scented grounds in the new filter, then shut the compartment on the coffee maker. Filling the smaller pitcher up to the '10' line with water, he poured it into the water compartment, and turned it on. He hoped that it would be done soon enough, otherwise he would pass out.

Hyde tugged on the black garbage bag in his hand and dragged it through the back, and squeezed it through the broken screen door. Hopefully by ridding the house of this, their home would smell just a little nicer, though the odors from the kitchen were masked from the smoke and alcohol that filled all of the other rooms. He wondered how he could live this way, he hated it, and it wasn't his fault; he decided that not thinking about it and just living in his room would help him forget the condition of his house.

Slamming the lid to their metal trash can, Hyde rubbed his hands together, and winced. Cuts of all sizes and depths covered his hands up his wrist and he knew people would wonder about them. He was sick of having to take care of all of these injuries he kept on getting, even though the current ones were all his fault.

By the time he finished bandaging his hands and drinking his coffee, it was time for him to get ready for school. The Formans would be here in twenty minutes to pick him up, like they did every other year. Hopefully, they didn't mind, he didn't think they did, but he'd ask Eric later today.

He slipped into a pair of worn out jeans and a plain black shirt, it clung against his shoulder which made the injury burn slightly, but there wasn't anything he could do about it. To hide his hands, he wriggled into a plaid long sleeved shirt that he'd wear all day, and would keep his hands buried in the cuffs. Hyde didn't even want to mess with his hair, but he knew he'd have to; otherwise it would turn into one disgusting dreadlock mess sooner or later. Taking the comb that was on his dresser, he walked into the bathroom and brushed through his mop of curls, then pooled water into his hands and wet his dark blonde hair. He momentarily looked at his reflection and sighed softly, not wanting to stare at the face in the mirror; a reminder of who he was.

Hyde sat on his couch, watching as the news continued, but he didn't want to pay attention to the forecast for the day. He rested his head on the arm of the couch and stared up at the yellowing ceiling, with cracks beginning to appear. His hands rested on his stomach, and he closed his eyes, waiting for Eric to knock on the door.

Images of last night flashed before his eyes, the fire building bigger and bigger in the school, the dark billows of smoke pouring out from the windows. He had done it, and he hadn't been caught, and it was so perfect. A faint smile stretched across his face as he remembered his work, which had paid off in the end. Though he was a little beat up from it, he could rest easy knowing that he fulfilled something. And never opening the school again? That was the best news he had heard in ages; why hadn't he thought of doing this before?

A soft rapping brought Hyde from his deep thoughts; he glanced at the door and saw Eric through the small window. He groaned as he stood up, legs and arms popping as he resituated. Sliding his sunglasses over his face, he slung his bag over his right shoulder and opened the door.

"Hey Forman," Hyde acknowledged, giving a nod.

"Hey, Hyde, where were you all last week?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders, as the two boys made their way to the car, "we all were worried about you."

"I was visiting one of my uncles out of state," Hyde lied; in reality he had just been trying to isolate himself from his friends. He wanted to see how long he could go without them, and begin to distance himself for when they all ditched him. It was just convenient because his _mom_ had left to visit and 'uncle' out of state.

"Oh, well was it fun?" Eric asked him, unable to tell that he had been lying, which was the best. He opened the back seat door and slid in, Hyde walked around to the other side and sat next to Eric, yawning softly.

"It was cool," he mumbled, looking in the driver and passenger seats.

"Hello, Steven, are you excited for your first day of junior high?" Mrs. Forman asked him sweetly, he chuckled and gave her a small smile.

"Yeah, I guess." He responded simply, and then turned to look out the window as the car slowly pulled away from his house. Mrs. Forman was probably wondering where Hyde had been all week herself, he wasn't for sure, but whenever she looked back at him, she had a look that made him feel she wanted to talk to him.

"Steven, what happened to your shoulder?" She asked him, taking note to how he kept the left one raised higher than the right.

"Uh, I fell while on my vacation and landed on it." He mumbled in response, well part of that was true anyway; he had landed on it.

"Oh, well did you get it looked at?" She asked him, he glanced up at her and shook his head.

"Nah, it's all right though, it's getting better." That was a lie, he knew it, and she probably did as well. If it had happened a week ago, why did it hurt so much more now than it had before? The ripping sound it had made last night, and landing on it when he fell through the locker room, that didn't help it at all.

"Well, why don't you come over after school and let me look at it, just to make sure, okay?" Mrs. Forman asked him gently, he heard Mr. Forman sigh and Eric chuckle. Hyde shrugged, and winced when he moved his left arm.

"That's cool."

The rest of the car ride was silent. The drive to Point Place Jr./Sr. High School was just a little farther than Old Maine, and they had to take another way, since they were investigating the grammar school. Red kept grumbling about stupid kids destroying money that they had put in for that school, and Hyde tried his best to keep his smirk hidden from anyone else. It was so ironic that he was complaining about his son's best friend, and didn't even know it.

"I should have made you two walk, well we're here anyway, go on." Mr. Forman grumbled as he stopped the car. Hyde smirked and opened the car door and hopped out.

"Thanks for the ride, Mr. and Mrs. Forman, I'll see you later," he mumbled, and then shut the door. Eric was at his mom's window, getting a kiss on the cheek and a hug, and Hyde rolled his eyes, but inside he felt a jealousy burning at him. His mom never did that for him, the kindest thing she had ever done for him was try to stop Bud from hitting him… then she stopped caring.

Hyde walked up the gravel parking lot, to the sidewalk of this new school, and took a deep breath. He looked to his left and didn't see Eric, then checked his right, and emptiness filled him. He didn't want to walk in there alone.

"Hyde, wait!" he turned around and smiled when seeing Eric run up to catch up. Hyde realized that he wasn't going to be by himself and he felt warm again, but of course he wouldn't let Eric know he was freaking out about being alone in a new school.

"Come on, Forman, the sooner I get in there, the sooner I can leave." Hyde barked at his friend who was soon at his side.

"Sorry, I was… never mind, let's go." Hyde smirked and shook his head, as the two friends walked silently up to the doors of the new school.

As soon as they stepped in, Hyde wanted to bolt right out of the doors. Last year, they had been the big kids, the ones who had control, the tallest of the classes. Now, looking at the upper classmen in high school, he realized how small he and his friends really were. Not to mention the halls were crowded. Hyde glanced at Eric and saw the boy's horrified face, he kicked himself mentally and took a deep breath, realizing he'd have to just deal with this; he was the tough one of the group after all.

"Nice hair, midget,"

"Look at how scrawny he is! He's like a fuckin' toothpick," Hyde shook his head and smirked at Eric, who looked beyond terrified. He nodded his head forward to the office to get their class schedules and tried his best to ignore all of the high schoolers comments.

"We're going to die, aren't we, Hyde?" Eric mumbled as they squeezed through the packs, to the office door. Hyde turned to him and smirked.

"Someday."

"Did you guys hear about Old Maine?" Kelso asked four hours later as they sat down for lunch.

Hyde rested his head against his arm as he sat hunched over the table. Today wasn't difficult; they were just learning the rules of the classrooms, how to get there, who the teachers were, and getting their textbooks. It was enough to make him want to pass out in exhaustion though, and only half heard what Kelso said.

"Yeah, I heard my dad talking about it, isn't it crazy? I don't think it was arson though," Donna responded, taking a sip of milk. Hyde just looked up at his friends with bleary eyes and made a grunting noise in response.

"I don't think so either, that place was about to burn down, anyway," Eric said, biting into his sandwich that Mrs. Forman had probably packed for him.

Hyde glanced up at the kitchens; his stomach sank when he saw Edna in the back, making whatever the hell was for lunch. Just being in the same building as her made him want to throw up.

"Kelso, whatever that is you have on your tray, I suggest not eating it." Hyde grumbled hoarsely, eyes averted to the odd looking meat on a bun.

"Why? It's a sloppy joe, I love them!"

"Just, don't." If Edna had cooked it, Kelso and everyone else eating that crap would end up with food poisoning or some other illness, which would be sort of funny for him to witness, but it was his mom. And he hated her, and people would find out he was her son, so they would all hate him even more.

Hyde watched with a sick stomach as Kelso took a bite out of the poor excuse of a sandwich, Donna almost spit out her milk at the face he made. Eric laughed loudly at Kelso's expression, and Hyde compared it to a drunk deer about to get hit by a car, which ended up making him laugh as well as he imagined that scene. Kelso picked up his napkin and covered his mouth, so he could spit out the food he had chewed, and shuddered violently as he chugged his chocolate milk.

"I don't like sloppy joes anymore," he finally whimpered, and then his face lit up. "Hey, why do they call hamburgers 'hamburgers'?" Kelso asked, the other three glanced at each other momentarily, all of them thinking the same thing.

"Because it's made out of ham?" Hyde hit Eric upside the head and shook his head.

"Beef, you moron." He barked, watching as Eric rubbed the area where Hyde had smacked him. Donna chuckled and shook her head in disbelief.

"I think they were first made in Hamburg, Kelso." Donna responded, Hyde shrugged his shoulders, it sounded good to him.

"_Or_, did Hamburg name their state after hamburgers?" Hyde groaned loudly and smacked his own head against the table, fake sobbing.

"Hamburg is a _city_, Kelso" He whined woefully, voice muffled from the table, "in another _country_." Donna was laughing hysterically at her friends, and Hyde slowly raised his head to look at her, seeing her smile made his stomach flip and he had to suppress his grin. "What's a reasonable question is why are hot dogs called hot dogs?" he asked, everyone grew silent for a moment.

"Well, my dad calls them wieners," Donna mumbled, making the boys crack up, she blushed and shook her head while she laughed with them. Hyde snickered and cleared his throat to stop laughing, but once he saw Kelso chortling, he fell back into the fit.

"Maybe because when the first person tried them, they yelled 'hot dog!'" Eric suggested, adding mock enthusiasm to the end; that one made sense too. Kelso scoffed and shook his head, and rolled his eyes.

"Gosh, you guys are all dumb," he snapped, "They're called hot dogs and wieners because they're made out of wiener dogs, duh!" At the same time, Eric face palmed, Donna covered her face in her hands while shaking her head, and Hyde once again smacked his head against the table, creating a loud thud.

"Let's just… not talk about this anymore," Donna said in a defeated tone, Hyde nodded slowly, face still forward into the table. "Stop doing that," Donna chuckled, lifting Hyde's head with her hands. He glanced up at her when feeling her cool, smooth hands against his face, and he swore he felt a spark shoot through him. Looking away quickly, he sat up straight once again and bit back his bottom lip.

"So, Hyde, you said you went on vacation, where did you go?"

"Cedar Rapids," Hyde responded, "pretty long, boring trip." Donna tilted her head.

"Iowa? Why did you go there?" He shrugged his shoulders in response, wincing once more as his left shoulder stretched.

"So is that where you were all this week?" Kelso asked, Hyde nodded. "I've been there before, it's pretty cool. I have a cousin named Ashton who lives there." Hyde nodded in response, not thinking the information was all that interesting, especially since he hadn't even gone to Cedar Rapids.

"Donna, do you wanna come over after school? Hyde and Kelso are, so I thought we could all hang out,"

"Sure," Eric nodded at her response and Kelso made a face at him. Hyde rolled his eyes and rested his head back on the table, staring back at the kitchens. His mom just stood there, staring up at the ceiling, with her hands folded over her stomach and appeared almost sad. He was curious as to what she was doing, but when he witnessed her wiping her eyes, he wished he had just looked away in disgust. His heart sank into his stomach and he lowered his head, unsure what to think, or how to feel about what he saw. It didn't change how he felt about her, it couldn't… he wouldn't let it… damn.

* * *

Kelso, Donna, and Eric hadn't noticed Hyde's quietness until after school. During class he was always silent, either doodling, writing, or sleeping, but usually when they walked home he was joking around with them. As they talked they noticed his silence, his head lowered and hands tucked in his pockets.

Hyde's mind was reeling over what he had seen, and he was trying to make sense of it. Why had Edna been crying? Was she feeling so low that she figured the world owed her for everything? Was she craving sympathy and pity from someone who didn't even care? Or was it something else, something that was really bothering her, that made her human? Was she worried about something? Did something happen? Was it about him? He was going to make himself sick with these questions, why should he care anyway? She hated him, it didn't matter… she deserved to cry. He kept telling himself all of those things yet for some reason he couldn't believe them, and that disgusted him.

"Hyde, HYDE!" He jumped at Eric's loud voice yelling at him. Turning his head, he looked at Eric as if to show he was listen, "Where you at?"

"Here." He replied softly.

"Hyde, are you okay? You've been quiet all day," Donna pressed, he shook his head.

"I'm fine, I'm just thinking."

"Oh, hey guys, I forgot to tell you…" Kelso began, the three locked eyes with their friend. "Jackie is coming over to Eric's she got mad at me because I haven't seen her in a really long time-"  
"But you just saw her at the swimming pool, and when we went camping!"

"You went camping?" Hyde asked, the three nodded.

"Yeah, when you went to Cedar Rapids, sorry." Eric answered; Hyde felt a kick in his gut. While he was sitting alone, bored, feeling sorry for himself and trying to push away his friends, they had actually gone out and had fun, and he could have gone with them. Oh, he was feeling great. Plus he'd be seeing the fucking midget, which added to his list of annoyances for the day.

"Well she still thinks that was a long time ago, so I told her I was going over to Eric's and she-"

"Kelso!" The three cried, and he backed away from them.

"What? I'm sorry, but she's my girlfriend and you can… ahh I'm thinking about breaking up with her."

"Finally," Hyde grumbled, kicking a rock that had been in front of him.

They walked up the Forman's driveway and to the sliding glass door, Mrs. Forman waved at them eagerly as they walked up. Eric opened the door and they all entered in, immediately getting hugs from Kitty. Hyde winced when she brushed against his shoulder, and she nodded.

"Steven, let me look at that in just a second, I'm putting cookies in the oven." Hyde lowered his head in embarrassment as Donna and Kelso looked at him curiously.

"Look at what?" Donna asked, intrigued, Hyde shook his head.

"It's nothing," he responded quickly, Donna rolled her eyes, knowing that wasn't the true answer.

"Come on, please tell me?" Donna asked him again, he shook his head.

"No."

"Yes."

"No!"

"Yes!" Donna growled, punching him in the shoulder. Hyde's eyes widened, as his whole arm exploded in pain, he whimpered and doubled over, breathing shallowly as he blinked back the tears in his eyes. "Oh my God, Hyde, what did I? I'm so sorry!" He felt an arm wrap around his back and pull him up, he whimpered when Mrs. Forman rubbed against the sharp shard in his back.

"Eric, can you watch the cookies? Steven, let's go upstairs so I can take care of you." She held him close to her and they slowly made their way upstairs. "Are you sure that you fell?"

"Yes, Mrs. Forman." No, it was a baseball bat, then the stairs at his mom's dealer's apartment.

"How long ago did this happen?"  
"Last week, on vacation." He replied flatly as she pointed for him to sit on the edge of the bathtub.

"Can you take off your shirt for me sweetie? Just so I can look at your shoulder." Hyde nodded and slowly wriggled out of his long sleeved shirt, then had a difficult time trying to get the t-shirt off without hurting his left shoulder. Mrs. Forman stared at his hands that were wrapped in gauze in a crude way. "Steven, what happened to your hands?" She cried, eyes widened in horror.

"I went swimming in a creek at my uncle's farm in Iowa, and there was glass in the creek and my cousin was going to swim on it so I had to pull it out before he hurt himself." She eyed him carefully as he spat out the lie he had made up on the spot.

"I'll check those after your shoulder, Steven, it looks awful, you may have even broken it." She whimpered, he just looked up at her.

Mrs. Forman filled the sink with soapy warm water and dug around in the medicine cabinet. She sat back down with a brown bottle and a wash cloth in her hands, and took a deep breath.

"Steven, before I find out what's wrong with your shoulder, I need to clean it, this will hurt a little bit, but… it's worth it," he smiled up at her and she replied the sweet gesture.

"Not as bad as this shoulder, I bet." He responded and she laughed softly and nodded, dipping the white wash cloth in the soapy water. She dabbed at his shoulder with the wet washcloth, and his eyes bugged out in pain at her touch. He bit back on his lip extremely hard, as he tried not to scream.

"Steven, honey, relax," Mrs. Forman coaxed him, he nodded, breathing deeply. "I need to put this on in case there are any bacteria, so it kills it, we don't want you getting an infection!" She laughed nervously as she poured the peroxide onto a new wash cloth, Hyde gulped. She barely touched the injury and tears sprang in his eyes from her treatment, the peroxide stung his skin, he watched as it foamed over his entire shoulder, and he soon loosened up, it didn't hurt that bad anymore. "Okay, what I'm going to do next is going to hurt a bit, I'm going to try to find out what you did to your shoulder, okay?" Hyde nodded and bit on his lip once again.

Mrs. Forman's fingers gently pressed his shoulder, almost like she was massaging it. She felt around the cap, his upper bicep, and his shoulder blade, pressing harder in certain areas that made him wince. She pushed on his shoulder blade which involuntarily made his whole shoulder shift upwards, and then her hands moved back up to the socket and felt around the whole area. Her skin made the wound sting, yet it didn't hurt as bad as he thought it would.

"Well, Steven, I'm not a doctor, but from my years of nursing, I think you dislocated your shoulder, as well as a torn rotator cuff. It's common, so you don't need to worry about this being rare," Mrs. Forman laughed at that, Hyde only smiled weakly, he was worried about needing some sort of treatment or surgery

"Can you fix it?" He asked softly, Mrs. Forman smiled and nodded.

"It will hurt, and I should take you in, but with your… situation, I can fix it." Hyde smiled and nodded. "It's going to hurt. A lot, more than any of this has, I have to push the joint back into the socket,"

"Oh well," he mumbled, and Mrs. Forman laughed and shook her head.

"I'm going to need to do this downstairs though… so you can be on the couch. After I do this, you need to work on strengthening your shoulder again, and you can't pull it forward and back anymore, like you're going to punch or anything." Hyde nodded; at least he was a righty. "Let's go." Mrs. Forman grabbed Hyde's shirts and he went first, keeping his shoulder limp and relaxed. "Steven, you have something in your back, what have you been _doing_?" Hyde just glanced behind him and gave her a look, which made her smile. "I'll take care of that too," he heard her mumble to herself.

Hyde figured he would need to be rushed off to the hospital, but if Mrs. Forman could take care of him, then that was fine. It was free, and he felt comfortable with her, if it were a doctor he'd probably put up a fight.

He sat on the couch; his friends silently came into the room, curious as to what was going on.

"Eric, I have to take care of Hyde's shoulder, and you shouldn't watch. Take Kelso, Jackie, and Donna downstairs for awhile, okay?"

"But mom!"/"But Mrs. Forman!" Hyde glanced up at all of his friends, with raised eyebrows and a light smile on his face.

"They can get grossed out if they want." He mumbled, "It's their fault if they vomit." Mrs. Forman sighed and he looked back down at the ground. Mrs. Forman stood in front of him, and bit her lip, hand on the front and back of his shoulder.

"I'm doing it now," he nodded at her and closed his eyes. A loud popping filled the room and he shouted out in pain when she pushed on either side of his shoulder. His whole arm ached tremendously, but it felt better than it did before. "Eric, can you go get me a tweezers?" Mrs. Forman asked, "Steven, lay on your back," slowly he wriggled his body so he was lying on the couch. "What on Earth did you get in your back?" Hyde chuckled and smirked at her. "Boys," she grumbled with a smile on her face, and then felt around the sharp thing in his back.

When Eric ran back down the stairs with a pair of tweezers in hand, he gave them to his mom and she immediately began working on his back. Hyde gritted his teeth as she pulled at the shard, nails digging into the couch to help channel the slight pain.

"Oh my…" Mrs. Forman whispered, suddenly tugging on whatever was in his back with a strong force he didn't think tweezers had. He yelped and buried his face in the arm of the couch to stifle the sounds he was making so his friends wouldn't know he was in pain. "How on Earth did you get _this_ stuck in your back?" Mrs. Forman asked him, he glanced up with watery eyes and saw a large piece of metal, about three inches wide and very jagged.

"Creek," he whispered hoarsely, she sighed and wiped at his back with the washcloth, then put an ointment on the small gash. He heard her cut at a new piece of gauze and then tape it with medical tape, so the cut was covered and would heal okay.

"Now, let me look at your hands, Steven." Kitty began to unravel the right hand's wrappings, and paled as she saw the reddened skin, with deep cuts that covered every inch of his flesh from the wrist down. It looked like a bad case of self harm, that wasn't self inflicted. "Um… are you sure this was from glass?" Hyde nodded, eyes on hers, she was close enough to see his eyes through his shades. His friends looked rather queasy at the sight of watching him get his shoulder re-dislocated, a piece of metal pulled from his back, and now cuts covering his hands. Mrs. Forman dabbed the cuts with the peroxide, then put on the anti-bacterial ointment before re-wrapping his arms, but more carefully, and so they would actually heal.

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman, for everything," he said, she smiled and gave him four Advil, to help with the pain in his shoulder.

"Your welcome Steven, are you staying for dinner?" He shrugged, then saw her face and nodded. "Good," she beamed, then advised him to stay resting and ran back to the kitchen. He and his friends all walked to the basement, all of them asking tons of questions.

Sitting on his chair, Hyde watched his friends sit down on the couch and turn to him.

"Why were you so hurt?" Jackie asked him, he shrugged.

"Like you care," he spat back, stretching out his legs on the table. He took out a cigarette from his pocket and the lighter; he stuck it in his mouth and lit it. Seeing his friends' faces he grimaced, "I'm on edge," he gave them his excuse, which made everything okay. Inhaling the smoke, he instantly felt relieved and sighed happily.

"Wow, today was really exciting!" Kelso cried, "First day of 7th grade and I get to see Hyde get hurt!" Hyde glared at him and leaned over, punching Kelso in the shoulder.

"She fixed it, you moron!" He barked, sitting back down in his chair. He felt a pair of eyes watching him and he looked at Jackie, who was staring at him curiously. "What are you looking at, Toto?" The name that he had given her from Halloween a couple years ago had stuck.

"Nothing, don't talk to me, you freak." She growled back, eyes turned icy. He shrugged his shoulders and looked at Eric and Donna, who were watching the TV.

"So what did you do to your shoulder, Hyde?" Eric asked him, Hyde raised his eyebrows.

"Dislocated it, I guess." He responded, folding his arms over his stomach and felt a slight pull in his left shoulder; hopefully it would heal right.

Taking another drag from his cigarette, Hyde flicked the ashes to the cement floor and sighed softly. The past twenty four hours had been rough. He had burned down a school, started his first day of school, on no sleep, and practically had a surgery. Now he was sitting in a basement, smoking, and for the first time, he felt at peace.

Hyde closed his eyes, making sure he was still facing the television, and felt his whole body relax from his usual tenseness. His arms lay limp on his lap and it was all he could do to keep his head up so it looked like he was awake. His grip on consciousness was beginning to fade; he could hear voice pitches, lower, then higher, squeaky ones. Lots of talking, the television, plus his friends making comments. His breathing was lulling him to sleep, slow, and deep, he concentrated on inhaling, and exhaling, and soon found himself in a rhythmic pattern in his mind. Hyde felt like he was free and floating, almost like he was high but this felt… better. He loved sleeping, and found himself at its doorstep. Into a world that was better than his own; he was older and in his own house, a small house in the country, it looked so familiar, but he couldn't remember where he had seen it. He had a good job, and was happy; he always had a smile on his face. And there was a girl as well, but he could never tell who she was, she looked so unfamiliar to him. But she made him happy, and he hoped that this was what his future would be some day. Where everything was perfect and he never had to-

His eyes shot open as pain filled his left arm, he snapped his head around, and saw Kelso poking his left shoulder. Hyde growled lowly and sprang from his chair, landing on top of Kelso and punching him as hard as he could.

"Ow, my eye!" Hyde scoffed and he heard Jackie squeak in terror as he pummeled her boyfriend.

"Hyde, you're a jerk!" She cried as he found himself sleepily sitting back down on his chair.

"Yeah, and you're a spoiled little brat, so we're even." He grumbled, glaring at Kelso who had his hands over his eye.

"All I wanted to do was poke it to see what it felt like, God!" Kelso whimpered, Donna rolled her eyes and chuckled, glad to see that Hyde, as injured as he was, was still Hyde.  
"It's a shoulder, man!" Hyde retorted, rubbing it gently. Kelso started laughing softly and Hyde slowly turned to him, eyes narrowed.

"Ha… you won't be able to punch me ever again because of your arm!" Kelso informed him. Hyde raised his right fist and punched his knee, making the older boy whimper.

"Wrong arm, Kelso." Donna informed him after Hyde decked him.

Though Hyde was slightly annoyed with Kelso, and very aggravated with Jackie, Hyde realized how stupid he had been the past week. His friends weren't going to leave him, there was no point in worrying about ever losing them; they were here to stay. And, whether they really realized it or not, they did need him; he was the one to defend them and beat others up if they tried to mess with them. They all played a part in the group of friends, some of them overlapped, but he knew they all fit together… somehow. Maybe even Jackie; as much as he couldn't stand her. As weird and different as each of them were, they all had something in common… he just didn't know what, and that's what brought them together.

"Kids, dinner is ready!" Kitty called from upstairs; at once everyone stood up and bolted upstairs, but two people. Hyde gritted his teeth and slowly stood up, trying not to bump his shoulder as he did so. He glanced up and narrowed his eyebrows when seeing Jackie still sitting down, staring off into space.

"Uh… Jackie, dinner is ready," she jumped, startled and looked up at him.

"You know… you wouldn't be so bad if you weren't so mean, if you let people in. But you don't, so you'll never be happy." Jackie finally murmured, then ran upstairs, screaming, "Michael! You weren't supposed to leave without me!" Hyde stood there in awe, mind at a blank, trying to figure out what Jackie meant. Was that a compliment, or an insult?

"Brat," Hyde grumbled, shaking his head as he slowly walked up the stairs, at a loss for any other words.


	24. Sic Transit Gloria, Glory Fades

_**Author's Note: Hello all! I probably won't be posting again until after the 4th, so I just want to wish everyone a happy 4th of July! I can't believe it's already the middle of summer… it makes me sad. I might have time to post another chapter tonight, but I'm not sure… we'll just see how things go. This chapter isn't one of my favorites and I wouldn't post it if it weren't for one thing, which you'll probably figure out what it is, well there's a couple things. I didn't like this one at all, and I hope none of you hate it, but if you do I understand. I rate this one T+ because, well you'll see. And to anyone who disagrees with what I put, it's my story and I put it in for a reason, and I myself don't like it, but I have reasons (you'll know what I'm talking about when you see it.) This one is going to be short and fast paced, probably with not a lot of details, so I'm sorry about that. I just really didn't like writing this one, as I have previously stated. I promise the next couple of chapters are waaaay better than this, so don't worry, and don't give up on this story, either! :D**_

_**I hope you all have fun and are safe on the holiday, happy early 4th of July to everyone! **_

_**Reviews are pretty nice, just putting that out there. :P**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

_Keep the noise low, she doesn't wanna blow it. Shaking from head to toe while your left hand does "the show me around." Quickens your heartbeat; it beats me straight into the ground. You don't recover from a night like this, a victim still lying in bed, completely motionless. A hand moves in the dark to a zipper, hear a boy bracing tight against sheets barely whisper, "this is so messed up." Upon arrival the guests had all stared; dripping wet and clearly depressed, he'd headed straight for the stairs. No longer cool, but a boy in a stitch, unprepared for a life full of lies and failing relationships. Up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up. He keeps his hands low, he doesn't wanna blow it; he's wet from head to toe and his eyes give her the up and the down. His stomach turns and he thinks of throwing up, but the body on the bed beckons forward and he starts growing up. She hits the lights.; this doesn't seem quite fair. Despite everything he learned from his friends, he doesn't feel so prepared. She's breathing quiet and smooth, he's gasping for air. "This is the first and last time," he says, she fakes a smile and presses her hips into his. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides, he's holding back from telling her exactly what it really feels like. He is the lamb, she is the slaughter. She's moving way too fast, and all he wanted was to hold her. Nothing that he tells her is really having an effect, he whispers that he loves her, but she's probably only looking for sss... (Up the stairs: the station where the act becomes the art of growing up.) So much more than he could ever give; a life free of lies and a meaningful relationship. He keeps his hands pinned down at his sides, he waits for it to end and for the aching in his guts to subside…_

It was the beginning of his life between a boy and a man, the best years of his life. Of course, he didn't look, sound, or act any different than he did the day before, but the change was definitely there; he could feel it. Hyde was finally a teenager and he was on top of the world. No more being treated like a little kid or being put with the younger kids at events, no more being stuck doing nothing on a Friday night; Edna said once he was a teen he could take the car wherever he wanted to. He wasn't some little kid anymore, he was on his way to becoming a man, and he felt great.

Hyde, Kelso and Eric were hanging out in the basement, watching television while waiting for Donna and Jackie to come back from wherever they went. Hyde hadn't wanted Jackie to hang out, but of course the brat weaseled her way into being there for the night; he didn't know why the Forman's thought she was so adorable, she was evil. He knew Mrs. Forman was baking him a chocolate cake like she did last year, even though she didn't tell him that she was; he saw her mixing it when he got here. Everything seemed so perfect today, and nothing could bring him down; it was great.

"Hey Hyde?" Eric asked timidly as they lounged in the basement. Hyde turned to his friend and gave a nod for him to go on. "What is that stuff you and Kelso smoke?" Hyde glanced over at Kelso, who was beaming madly, and smirked. Hyde stretched out his legs and took a bite of his the grape flavored popsicle he had dug out of the freezer.

"The best stuff ever known to man, my friend. Example," Hyde paused, then dug in his jeans pocket for the joint that he kept in there for whenever he saw Kelso, as well as his Zippo lighter. Taking the joint in between his lips, Hyde lit the end of it and inhaled automatically.

He wasn't sure if that was what Eric wanted to witness, but it was his best way of showing him, without having the kid try it himself. He was sort of hoping that if Forman saw Kelso take a hit, he would as well. It didn't matter much if Hyde did this, because it was how he was raised and they had all seen him smoking since he was about ten, so it wasn't as much of a shock, probably. Hyde took a couple more hits from the herb and felt himself feel very light and airy, he sighed happily and passed it to Kelso.

"So, it is marijuana?" Eric asked quietly, in case his parents were by the door. Hyde blinked his eyes a couple of times to focus on his friend.

"It's not just marijuana, man, it's the… best way to be cool," he said, trying to make persuade Eric to try it. "I mean, you don't have to, but it's-" Hyde began to laugh as Kelso exhaled a great deal of smoke and tried to catch it with his mouth. "It's awesome, man."

"Guys, look! I'm a dragon!" Kelso cried, flapping his arms wildly as he let out another puff of smoke, then passed the joint to Eric. Hyde watched as his friend placed the home rolled stick in his mouth and inhaled. Instantly, he began coughing and spluttering out smoke, Hyde only chuckled.

"Easy, Forman," he mumbled, biting into his popsicle once again. Eric tried the herb again, this time only inhaling a little bit, held in the smoke, then exhaled slowly. Hyde was impressed when Eric only coughed a couple of times, then went at the joint again.

"I think I'm going to regret this," Hyde mumbled, laughing as Eric began to giggle hysterically for no reason at all as he handed the stick back to Hyde. While Hyde took another hit, Eric's laughing fit calmed and he looked around the room in confusion.

"Guys," he declared, snickering a bit, then snorting, "I am so baked right now… I think… I mean, yeah, I'm… no… yeah, I am," he chirped, Hyde nodded with a grin on his face.

"Hey, when I get older, I'm going to be handsome," Kelso announced, Hyde glanced up at his friend who was still wearing his headgear.

"Oh, did your mommy tell you that?" Hyde asked, then began to laugh as he mouthed 'mommy' repeatedly, very slowly; that word was odd, and fun to say.

"Yeah!" Kelso cried, which made the younger boy laugh even harder.

"Hey guys, look what I found in Laurie's drawer; a month's worth of mints!" Eric exclaimed happily, holding up his finding. Kelso snatched the circular plastic container from its original holder and opened the case. He scrunched his face when he began to stuck on the white tablet, Hyde only chortled with hysterics.

"Those aren't mints, they're birth control pills, morons," he informed, taking the pills from Kelso, then tossed them back to Eric.

All three of the boys burst out laughing at what he had said. For some reason, they thought that it was the most hilarious thing in the world.

"Eric!" Mr. Forman called from upstairs, "come here!" They all turned paper white in fear as they all caught eyes. Eric cleared his throat and whimpered as he stumbled to stand up."_Act natural_," Hyde warned, Eric only nodded as he staggered to the stairs.

Both Kelso and Hyde were terrified that Eric would rat them out, or they'd be caught by his odd twitchiness, but it was easily forgotten with a stupid comment from one of them. Hyde hadn't exactly planned on doing this on his birthday, but Eric had asked, and he had some on him; it was the best explanation he could give. Hopefully it would wear off before the girls got back, Donna would kill him if she found them all high.

"Do you think he'll do it again?" Kelso asked, talking about Eric smoking pot. Hyde shrugged his shoulders, then smirked.

"Knowing him, probably," he responded coolly, then put out the joint and let it cool on the wooden table. "Maybe even Donna will someday.""And Jackie."

"Hell no, man." Hyde growled, hand covering his joint to protect it from Kelso. "She is going away soon, you promised."

"I know, but-" both of them stopped talking as they heard footsteps on the stairs. They watched as Eric slowly stomped on the creaky steps with a scrunched face and a glazed expression.

"Man, that stuff smells," he said, then jumped off the last two steps and almost fell. Hyde rolled his eyes at Eric, who sat back down on the couch by Kelso.

"So?" The fourteen year old asked, mouth parted like it usually was when he was high, "what's up?"

"Well right now I'm starting to get hungry, and really excited." Hyde grinned, knowing that's not what Kelso meant, and when Eric saw the older boy's expression he got that himself. "Oh, my dad just wanted help with something quick." Hyde raised his eyebrows and looked at Eric; the kid couldn't lie worth crap, but he didn't care.

"So, you're hungry, eh?" Hyde asked, smirking, Eric nodded.

"Why, is that bad?" Hyde nodded vigorously.

"The munchies, man, they're out to get you!" He screamed, eyes widened in mock fear. Kelso shrieked in fear, and jumped behind the couch, eyes shifting madly. Hyde and Eric both burst out laughing at Kelso's reaction, and Hyde shook his head in disbelief; sometimes he really didn't get his friends.

* * *

Four hours later, Hyde was unwillingly sitting in the basement with all of his friends, and Jackie. They all had presents in his lap, except the raven haired girl, who had her head nuzzled on Kelso's shoulder and looked rather bored. They had eaten dinner, which was just as good as ever, thanks to Mrs. Forman. And the cake had been great too, he knew he'd be coming over to their house for the rest of his birthdays, even if it didn't mean he'd be getting awesome food. Just knowing that they recognized the day made him feel special, and he'd rather be with people who actually cared than at home all alone or with his screaming, drunk mom who didn't give two shits about him. And probably didn't even remember what season or year he had been born in.

"Guys, you didn't have to get me anything," Hyde mumbled, eyeing each of his friends; Donna just glared at him and Eric shrugged, while Kelso scoffed.

"Of course we would, you moron, it's your birthday!" Kelso cried, handing him his present; a large, flat, square wrapped in newspaper. Hyde chuckled at that and began to carefully tear the wrapping; he wasn't like most kids when opening presents. He wanted to savor the moment of curiosity and not knowing what was wrapped inside.

"Holy shit," Hyde trailed off in awe, staring at the latest Led Zeppelin record, _Led Zeppelin IV_, in his hands. He hadn't had a chance to buy it yet. "Hey, thanks man!" Hyde felt his lips tug upwards in a bright smile and he glanced at Kelso, who was grinning, proud that he had made his best friend happy.

"No problem, Hyde," he responded before kissing Jackie. Hyde shook his head at the disgusting evil in front of him and turned to Eric, who had handed him a box wrapped neatly in red and white striped paper- courtesy of Mrs. Forman.

"Eric's present and my present sort of go together," Donna informed him, helping Hyde's curiosity at the present. He slowly picked away at one of the folds on the side of the box. When pulling the wrapping paper away from the object inside, Hyde raised his eyebrows at the box of twelve blank cassette tapes. He didn't even own a cassette player, so why was he getting random empty tapes? Unless….

As Donna handed him the blue gift bag, he immediately stuck his hand in to grab his present. He felt something a little heavy and plastic at his touch and he smirked. His hand grabbed the base and he slowly pulled out the cassette player and recorder mix and he grinned wickedly.

"It's so you can record your playing guitar and stuff… we figured you'd like it." Eric explained, Hyde nodded and almost felt like hugging them; but he wouldn't.

"Thanks Forman, Donna, this is really cool, I love it." the three of them beamed at each other happily; Eric and Donna knew they had done well for today. Hyde gently placed his three awesome presents in the bag that Donna had used for her part of the gift.

"Guys!" Kelso cried suddenly, voice cracking, "I just made it to second base!"

"Shut up, Kelso!"

"Eww!""Michael!"

"You'll get rabies!"

* * *

Hyde closed the door to his home as he entered his cold living room. He shivered as he unbuttoned his flannel shirt, the rain had poured down heavier than he thought it would when he first walked home. The laughter of his mom fileld his ears and he cringed at the sound. Taking a glance at the couch, he saw her and some man who looked slightly familiar drinking out of bottles and he sneered in disgust. At least he had had a good day before….

Hyde immediately retreated to his room, and couldn't wait to just pass out and wake up in the morning, to go to Forman's. Yet when he opened his bedroom door, he found a confusing sight in front of him. A girl that was pretty short, with dark blonde wavy hair and light skin lay on his bed, with her eyes closed. He knew her, but couldn't believe that she was here, and didn't know why she was suddenly in his room, especially getting comfy on his bed. Her name was Amy, she was about two or three years older than him, and she had helped teach him guitar with her dad when he was first learning. They had become friends and he could actually talk to her, but when Bud left, he couldn't take lessons anymore.

Hyde slowly tossed down his soaked black flannel shirt and stood in the doorway, unsure of what to do. He cleared his throat and Amy suddenly jerked her head to face him. Her lips widened into a sweet smile and he turned the corners of his lips upward in a very weak smile as well.

"Oh my gosh, Steven, you're home! Do you remember me?" _she had a high pitched voice that would soon get irritating. _

"Yeah, you taught me guitar when I was younger… uh what are you doing here, Amy?" He asked, with confusion very evident in his voice. She just laughed and threw her hands down on her thighs; _she was pretty annoying_.

"My dad is having drinks with your mom. Is today your birthday?" She asked, pointing to the blue bag in his arms. He set down his gifts by his makeshift dresser and nodded slowly, leaning on the wall. "Gosh, you've grown up so much," she murmured, eyeing him, which made him feel a little awkward; _at least she was pretty, otherwise this would not be fun_. He shrugged his shoulders and bit back his bottom lip, _how long was she planning to stay here?_

"So… you're 15, right?" She asked him, with a playful smile.

"Thirteen," he responded, and for some reason felt a little embarrassed now that he thought of it. Hyde mentally kicked himself; he should have agreed.

"Wow, you look so much older," She responded, now sitting on the edge of the bed, leaning forward a little. His eyes moved to the cleavage that was showing from her low cut shirt, yet she couldn't tell that he was, thanks to the sun glasses. Hyde only shrugged his shoulders once more, unsure of what he should say. She stood up and walked over to him, eyes widening with interest. "And taller," she added, standing inches away from him. Her head was about to his chin; when did he get so tall? Or was she just really short? Placing an arm on his waist, her wide, brown eyes gazed at the sunglasses, trying to see passed the shades, to show him that he was interested; and he could tell already.

"Steven," she almost whispered, body now pressed against his; she was warm. "Have you ever kissed a girl?" Hyde nodded as he vaguely remembered the summer night with Jackie, plus a girl named Trish at school during P.E. outside. "Well, can I give you a little kiss as a present?" She asked him with such a quiet, seductive voice, that he couldn't say no.

"Whatever," he mumbled, not really phased by her actions; _it was cool that she wanted to kiss though. He could rub this in to Kelso_. She grinned and wrapped her arms around his neck, and tilted her head upwards. He craned his head downwards to meet in the middle, and their lips touched innocently, they felt nicer than Trish's and he wasn't even going to think about Jackie, that one didn't count. When he tried to pull away, she pressed on the back of his head and deepened the kiss. Her soft lips began to move more fiercely, and he could only follow suit, his heart began to beat faster as confusion passed through his head. Why did she want to kiss him? But when he felt her tongue at his lips, all hesitation was blown out the window, and he immediately parted his lips, and wrapped his arms around her waist and ran through her hair. Yeah, he wasn't a pro, but he knew how to do some things.

Hyde squirmed, feeling her hands at the bottom of his shirt, and slowly pulling up the wet band t-shirt off of his damp torso. She pulled away from him momentarily, to finish taking off the garment, and her eyes met with his, a playful smirk on her lips. He rolled his eyes, and felt a worry cloud his head, but there wasn't much he could do; besides, he was scoring more than Kelso, and that was funny as hell. He tensed when feeling her fingers run over his bare skin, touching his back, abs and chest in a way that no one had before. He breathed heavily and snaked his hands under her shirt, not wanting to seem like he didn't know anything. Her skin was warm and smooth and so different from his, it felt really nice under his callused hands. She willingly let him take off her shirt and her eyes closed as he caressed her sides.

His eyes widened as he was pushed back, his body landing on his mattress, he shook his head away from the thoughts from his past; he wanted to be in the here and now. Amy straddled him, her hips swaying from side to side softly, her skirt looked nice against his bare skin. She bent over him and began to nip his neck, his eyes closed and his breathing shuddered at her lip's touch. His hands ran down her back, over the back of her skirt and to her thighs, she giggled and began to suck on his collar bone, making him arch his back and bite his lip to keep from making any noise. She giggled once more and her nails dug into his skin, he shivered, feeling her hands trail down his back slowly, and come around, tracing his belt. He watched as her hands skillfully unbuckled the belt and her hands, with no shakiness unzipped his jeans. He glanced up at her, sunglasses now off, and she could see the nervousness in his eyes, but paid no mind to it.

"Amy…" he whispered softly, watching her wriggle out of her little white skirt. "Amy, I don't want to do this," he mumbled, she only smiled at him and began to grind against him. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, the tightness in his pants slightly relieved because she had began to undo them, yet she was still making it worse. Pulling down his dark jeans, he almost sighed with relief, but he squirmed, just wanting to hold her, to be fully clothed.

"Shh… Steven, you don't know what you want," Amy whispered huskily, grabbing his hand and smirking.

For a moment he believed her, when his hand felt passed her panties, he could now brag to Kelso that he had gone farther than him, and he was younger than him. And her touches against him felt great, and hearing her moan like that just made him want to continue, but as he closed his eyes, he saw Donna, and he flinched. What would she think if she knew this is what he was doing? He felt more disgusting and awkward than good, and he didn't think that was how you were supposed to feel the first time, it was supposed to feel right. He had never really put much thought into actually losing his virginity; yeah, he thought about sex all the time, and how cool it would be, but he knew he wasn't ready for that. He didn't know who he wanted to do it with, and when he wanted to do it, but he knew it wasn't Amy, and now. Hell, right now he was actually a bit scared, though he wouldn't admit it, but at the same time he wanted to give in…. Hyde watched with hazy eyes as she took off her panties and subconsciously, his hand found its way passed her thigh once more. When she moaned from his actions, he felt that he was doing something right; for once he was doing something right, and someone was happy with it. He suppressed his feelings of fear and modesty as her hand played with the waistband of his boxers, and she made it better by sucking on his neck and chest once more. Feeling her, like this, with him, it made him feel all right, he forgot about all of the bad feelings.

"I'll make you very happy, Steven," Amy whispered with a seductive little smile, teeth gently tugging on his ear lobe. And when she said it, he believed her, at that moment, he felt more alive than ever.

* * *

Dirty. Disgusting. Wrong.

Even scalding hot water and a half hour of scratching away at his skin raw hadn't made himself feel better, cleaner. Hyde had sex, and he had just turned thirteen. Was that normal? Guys weren't supposed to have the feelings of regret after it; then again, he was just a kid. Hadn't he just been screaming to have the same treatment as adults? That's karma, right there, and it was biting him in the ass. This was it for him though; he had lost his virginity at merely thirteen. The last shred of innocence he had was gone, nothing could hold him back as a child anymore… not really.

Hyde closed his eyes and slammed his forehead against the shower wall. Why did he feel so gross? He figured he'd be feeling like the luckiest boy alive, getting a hot chick in bed at his age- maybe he would brag about it in the future, but something made him think otherwise. Maybe it was knowing that the thought of what he did was making his stomach churn; that he was probably going to end up throwing up.

As he thought about it, the more it did make sense, even though he wished it didn't. He never really had a childhood, never really had innocence and naivety. He was the first one in the group to experience things, then brought it to them.

'_Well, it did feel good_,' Hyde told himself, trying to think of the good things about just having sex. '_And hey, it's practice, and practice makes perfect_.' He smiled softly at that, and turned off the water. But still the sinking feeling wouldn't go away.

As Hyde slipped on his sweat pants, he decided to just put this behind him. HE would try his best to convince himself who he lost his virginity to meant nothing to him; by fifteen he probably wouldn't even remember. But he knew at least Eric would lose it at the right time, with someone who meant a damn to him, same with Donna. Kelso and Jackie would probably lose it together, then he'd dump her because he'd end up knocking her up. But at least they had history, whereas Hyde only knew Amy as a kid, wasn't all that close with her, and would most likely never see her again; at least he hoped he wouldn't.

Hyde grinned when he caught a glimpse of the reddish purple marks on his neck, collar bone, chest, and stomach thought. Now those hickeys were definitely something he could brag about to Kelso. He didn't feel so bad about that; that part had actually been pretty fun.

Slipping on his shirt, he ran his hands through his curly hair to try and tame the mop on his head, but there wasn't much he could do. Turning off the light to the bathroom, he tossed his dirty clothes outside of his bedroom door and silently made his way to the kitchen; he was starving. When opening the cupboards to find the peanut butter, he heard an odd sound come from the living room, but paid no mind to it; Edna was probably just sleeping. He dug through the drawers and found a clean butter knife, and slabbed some of the peanut butter on to a piece of wheat bread, then folded the bread in half for his snack. Digging into the fridge, he found a pear and made his way into the living room, but stopped in the doorway.

He saw Edna silently shaking on the floor, curled in a tiny ball with her head in her hands. Hyde felt his stomach drop and he bit his lip with nervousness, they felt puffier than usual.

"Ma?" He asked timidly, he didn't bother with his zen here, she didn't notice his emotions anywhere. He heard her gasp and look up with wide, blue eyes. Edna wiped away the tears that were falling down her cheeks and he walked closer over to her, suddenly feeling open. "Ma, what's wrong?" He asked once more, she only shook her head and turned away.

"N-nothing Steven, everything… everything is fine. I'm going to bed, goodnight." Edna whispered shakily, then quickly ran from the living room. Hyde just stood there, with wide eyes, where his mom had just been sitting, confusion, pain, and a weird flicker of hope rush through him, that he hated. She had said goodnight. Hyde's eyes followed after her, and a part of him wanted to go into her room and ask her, force her to tell him what was wrong; but the moment had been too surreal. Hyde sat down silently, staring at the television that was turned to some program that he hadn't ever seen, and watched with a blank mind, not paying attention to what they were saying. He stared at the family in simple clothing, from what looked like the 1800's and he smiled sadly; wishing he could live in that time. Whatever this show was, he liked it, things seemed so simpler then… but looking around the living room, he didn't live then. He lived in the 1970's, and things were a lot harder than those times, it was probably just a stupid Hollywood series anyway that wasn't anything like the reality of times during the 1800's. He turned from the screen and to the hallway, so tempted to go into his mom's room, but something held him back. For the first time in a long time, he only wished he didn't hate his mother.

_**And she's buying a stairway to heaven…**_


	25. I Am A Rock

**_Author's Note: So here it is! A little later than I thought but... ahh well it's the day after the holiday so ha! How was everyone's 4th, by the way? I was hoping to have my 4th of July chapter up by midnight of the 4th but of course I didn't so that will be next chapter. Here is the latest installment to the story and I hope you all enjoy it, though it's really short. It's pretty light hearted and stuff, but there's some serious things going on as well... And also I'm going to be posting a couple of other one-shots, one inspired by a song and the other one that I was supposed to post a loong time ago. So look for those ones in the next couple of weeks. Review to tell me how you like the story, and keep voting for the poll on my home page, though I'm pretty sure I now know how the last season will go down... (oh, and the story is continuing after season 8 as well, for all who didn't know that) Um... yep, that's about it. Have fun reading and please review? (not for me, for you)_**

**_Thanks!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**

* * *

_I've built walls, a fortress deep and mighty, that none may penetrate. I have no need of friendship... friendship causes pain; it's laughter and it's loving I disdain. I am a rock, I am an island. Don't talk of love, well, I've heard the word before, it's sleeping in my memory. I won't disturb the slumber of feelings that have died. If I never loved I never would have cried; I am a rock, I am an island. I have my books and my poetry to protect me; I am shielded in my armor, hiding in my room, safe within my womb. I touch no one and no one touches me, I am a rock, I am an island. And a rock feels no pain; and an island never cries._

Hyde shivered in the cool March night air and rubbed his hands together for warmth. He only stareda t his feet as he tried to forget where he was, and what he was supposed to be doing. Tried not to make any contact with the burnout bums who slept at the back ends of stores. Tried not to look around in case he caught the wrong dealer's eye. Tried his hardest not to reach in his pocket for his switchblade that he kep on him at all times. Hyde was scared, a little paranoid, but not high. He knew these people, the dealer he went to called himself Death Ray; but his real name was William. He had two little girls named Jane and Carly, and a sweet wife named Molly that he abused. Will was on more than dope; you could tell by the sores, the gaunt face, and the missing teeth. And he dealt it all to Edna; he hated seeing his mom on withdrawal from all the shit that she did.

Hyde bounced on his heels a cople of times to warm his legs and channel his nerves and fear. Buts till the hairs on the back of his neck stuck up, and his body was trembling slightly, but no one seemed to notice. In fact they didn't even see the thirteen year old, wwhich was a definite good thing. He tried not to be seen by anyone as he stood in the dark, secluded meeting spot as he waited for Will.

Hyde didn't understand himself. Why did he do this? Why did he do this for Edna, as well as other things to make her happy? She wasn't incapable of getting her drugs, and groceries. Why did he get her the drugs? It only made her worse in the end; he should be getting her help, it's what she truly needed. Hyde had this tiny spark of hope that she would change her ways, that she would care for him, but he'd had that for so long. He knew it was damn near impossible, but maybe she'd change... maybe.

"SJ," Hyde shook all of his thoughts out of his head when hearing the hoarse and lispy voice within the darkness. SJ was Hyde's nickname with Will, who was unable to remember his real name. He hated even reference to his first name, especially from these crackheads... and he didn't even want to know how he found out his middle name. Hyde turned and slowly nodded at the smelly skeleton, to show he acknowledged his presence.

"You got it all in that?" Hyde whispered gruffly, Will, with shifty eyes nodded vigorously, then twitched suddenly and snorted.

"Extra, for letting me pop her," Hyde felt his stomach reel at the thought of this disgusting man and his disgusting mom being together. Didn't this guy give a shit about his family? Hyde knew the answer to that; did his mom?

"All right," was all he mumbled taking the bag, peering in to look at the contents. "All in here?" Just to be sure.

"S-sep-pa-r-rated," Will stammered hoarsley, "W-where's the m-mon-ney?" Hyde rolled his eyes and dug in his right pocket, handing the guy most of his mom's pay check. "Buy something nice for Molly, man," Hyde grumbled to the pitiful, lost soul before turning away, anxious to get out of here and home.

Hyde hid the bag in his large hoodie pocket and slowly, cautiously walked out of the dark back alley. He sighed in relief when walking passed the bar, even the air felt cleaner. Checking his watch, Hyde realized he was earlier than he thought and still had ten dollars left from his deal; Edna wouldn't have to know...

Walking into the Hub, he saw a lot of older teens hanging out with their friends and he smiled sadly. He wished he had at least Eric with him. But, Eric was eating a hearty meal with his family, as well as Kelso and Donna, it's not like the best meals they had were fast food or their best friend's mom's cooking, whenever they ate over at the Forman's; Forman had that luxury. Scoffing softly, he waited in line behind a boy and girl who were holding hands, and his eyes peered at the pinball machine that Kelso loved. He grimaced and turned away, and his stomach grumbled with hunger as soon as he smelled their incredible french fries.

"Hey kid, what would you like?" The cashier, a guy in his early 20's asked him.

"A cheeseburger, fries and a Coke," Hyde mumbled, digging out the dollar and 50 cents he'd need. Handing over the money, he stood to the side and waited for his dinner; the most he had eaten in one day all week.

No one paid any attention to him, which was the way he'd prefer things to go; under the radar. He remembered Kelso comparing him to a rattlesnake earlier that day; "easy going and minding his own business, all chill and cool, until someone pisses him off ("Which is the easiest thing to do," Hyde punched him at that, "See?") and then he suddenly strikes when he can't take it anymore." He had been annoyed at Kelso for saying that, though he didn't really understand the analogy, or didn't want to at least. But then Hyde began to think; why was he like that? The comparison was actually a really good one, he was like a snake; especially in the area of not a lot of people liking them. Hyde scowled at his thought process and lowered his eyes to the floor. He found it so easy to put himself down, then again no one had ever told him any differently.

"Hey kid!" The cook barked, Hyde shook his head back to reality, "your order's ready."

"Thanks," Hyde took the plastic cup full of Coca-Cola, his cheeseburger wrapped in a foil cover, and a small basket of fries. He sat at an open table, picked up a french fry, and began to eat. This place was really lonely when you're alone, Hyde ate silently and isolated from the rest of the people, so he wouldn't be botehred. It didn't seem like anyone would bug him, they all seemed pretty content with who they were all with; but he was the type that was picked on easily, not that he took that crap but... And if his friends were here, he wouldn't be able to leave here and get back to his mom before she started to really freak out. He might even have time to have some of his own, hell he always had time to do that.

Hyde heard the door to the Hub open, but didn't look to acknowledge the new customer. He now was paying close attention to the very cheesy, very tasty cheeseburger in his hands. To hell with the government sayin gfast food wasn't good for you, it tasted good and that's all that mattered. Hyde smirked at that, and took another bite from the juicy meaty goodness on a bun. _**(AN: Ironic fun fact: I'm vegetarian) **_He nearly spit out his drink when he saw the girl in a light blue fuzzy sweater take a seat across from him. She set down her chicken sandwich, salad, and drink and waved at Hyde.

"I saw you were sitting alone and my maid is out for a few drinks, so I'm sitting with you." Jackie chirped, nibbling on the letuce. Hyde rolled his eyes and sneered at her as he stuffed a crispy french fry in his mouth.

"Go away," he grumbled flatly, glaring menacingly at the raven haired girl.

"No, Hyde, you should be happy I'm sitting with you!"

"Well, shocker, I'm not. So go find mommy or daddy and have them read you a freakin' book for beddy bye," he snapped sarcastically, he saw her lower her head and her lip tremble.

"My mom has been gone for two weeks and my daddy is staying late trying to help his secretary," Jackie mumbled weakly, Hyde felt his face soften.

"Oh... that sucks," he replied just as soft as her. Wait, why was he feeling sorry for her?

"But it's okay, because we're going to Hawaii soon!" Jackie cried and Hyde glowered at her bright smile. Of course they were going to Hawaii soon, her family wasn't like his, they weren't messed up. Her mom was probably on a business trip and her dad just had a bunch of paper work or something. "Hyde, why are you always hiding?" he raised his eyebrows at her and took a large gulp from his drink.

"I don't," he replied simply.

"Yes you do, with everyone. They think you're a robot but really you're just afraid of getting hurt. But you don't need to be scared, because we're not going to-"

"Will you shut up and leave me alone?" Hyde barked angrily, Jackie sighed and bit into her sandwich in frustration.

"Like that! Your anger is the top layer, the one that scares people off."

"You just talk because you liket o hear yourself speak, don't you?" Hyde asked her and she grinned.

"Yeah! My voice is so soothing, and I know people listen."

"You know what?" Hyde stood up, taking the remaining half of his sandwich and soda with him, "I"m not, I'm outta here." and with that, Hyde stormed out of the Hub.

Back on the streets, Hyde shivered in the chilly night and began making his way back home.

Jackie was like a mosquito or a tick, something annoying that left you even more annoyed. So she was sad because her parents weren't with her, so what? She had a maid! And they still cared, hell she was going to Hawaii. She was still so annoying, spoiled and self centered and everything else he hated in a person jam packed in one tiny body. Jackie couldn't just tell him who he was and how he felt, and why the hell did she even care? Why was it even bothering him? How could he let some stupid preppy girl get under his skin?

Taking one last gulp of his Coke, Hyde tossed the plastic cup behind him so his mom wouldn't kno whe went anywhere else other than the deal. As he stepped onto his shabby porch stairs, Hyde buried the cheeseburger in his pocket to hide the other evidence and took a deep breath.

"Ma?" He called out, slamming the screen door shut. "Got your shit," he mmbled, setting the brown paper bag on the tiny coffee table. Hyde heard feet scraping slowly against the linoleum in the kitchen and figured that's where she was.

"Ma? Did you hear me? I set it on the-" Hyde stopped dead in his tracks when seeing dark red splatters on the flor, and Edna hunched over the sink. "Ma!" Hyde rushed over to her and rested a hand on her shoulder. He felt her flinch. "It's just me, ma," he mumbled, she lazily lifted her head and his stomach churned at her bloody face. "What the hell happened?"

"Andrew," she whispered almost inaudibly, Hyde rolled his eyes; she had taken one of her sedatives and was about to pass out. But at least he found out that she had been beaten by her latest "boyfriend", which didn't sit well with him, for some reason.

Hyde wrapped his arm around her and lead her to the bathroom. Sitting he ron the toilet, he watched as Edna's head rolled back, eyes shut. He unravveled toilet paper and folded it, and held the tissue under her nose to catch the blood. He felt the bridge of her nose and around the area like Mrs. Forman had taught him; it wasn't broken. With a warm wash cloth, hedabbed at her lower lip to wipe away the blood from the cut there as well. He could now see the source, a large gash right in the middle of her bottom lip. He tore a bit of the toilet paper and placed it on the slit in her lip, hoping that would be enough. Hyde pinched the bridge of her nose to apply pressure to stop the blood flow from there, hopefully it would stop bleeding soon... he couldn't stand blood.

Edna wasn't aware of any of this, she was sleeping, passed out from her pain pills. Hyde didn't understand why he was doing this for her. She had never taken care of him when he was being abused by Bud, except that one night. She wouldn't thank him for this, she'd find a reason to be mad at him for it, he could never do anything right for her. It made him sick that things were in reverse order for them; he was more responsible than her, and he was only thirteen years old. Yet, he still was there, taking care of his mom's fucking boo boos. Something made him stay and help her, no matter how angry he was at himself, he wasn't going to just leave her there bleeding on the bathroom floor.

Finally her nose bleed stopped and as he wiped the last trickles of blood, he felt something in him rise. He couldn't hold it back very well; suddenly his lips could form the words he wanted to speak to one person in particular. Though she wouldn't remember it, couldn't hear him, maybe that's why he suddenly felt like he could admit his feelings.

"Why do you do this to me, ma?" he whimpered, staring right at her sleeping face. "Why am I not good enough? Why don't you care?" He questioned his mom and sighed heavily when hearing her snore lightly.

_'Why do I care so much?_' Hyde silently asked himself, lifting her on his shoulder; she barely weighed anything which scared him.

"I hope you remember this," he mumbled, entering her small bedroom. Turning on the light, he stumbled to her large, messy bed and laid he ron the wrinkled cotton sheet. He watched her turn on her side, away from him, and he scoffed at her sudden movement; how ironic. Pulling up the other sheet and two comforters over her body, he felt the sentence he wanted to say so badly at the back of his throat, yet his lips couldn't form the vowels and consonants. Silently, he turned away from his pitiful mother, eyes vacant and mind blank. He didn't look behind him as he flicked off the light and shut her door, he just didn't want to care. Like her.

As he slammed his bedroom door shut, Hyde turned around and punched his wall in anger. If he acted exactly like her, she'd probably end up feeling like him; ignored, forgotten, silently hoping for a change in things. He didn't want her feeling like he did, though she deserved to feel every ounce of pain she had put him through in his short life; she should know what she's done to him. Edna probably didn't care though, so acting like her would only make her happier. They would grow farther apart and neither would give a shit about the other, and soon he'd be long gone anyway, so what was the point of trying to make things better? But he wanted it, wanted things to be better so bad. So fucking bad.

Hyde felt his stomach ache from his racing mind and constant worry. Maybe Forman was right about holding stuff in; but that kid was way too emotional and open. Big whoop that he had felt Donna's squishy boob while wrestling. Or that he is getting an award for being on the high honor roll for three quarters of the school year. Hyde wouldn't and couldn't be like Eric even if he tried, which he wasn't going to. The mental image of a polo and khaki wearing, religious, tame haired Hyde scared the crap out of him.

Hyde blinked up at his ceiling as he lied flat on his back on the mattress. He'd enver be looked up to, or proud of himself, or successful. He had no future, no motivation, no hope. Just like everyone said.

_"Steven, you'll never be good enough,"_

_"Why do you even try? You're nothing."_

_"You'll never make it."_

_"You're worthless, pathetic, you make me sick!"_

_"Do you see yourself anywhere else besides prison?"_

_"I don't even think he can read!"_

_"When you die, no one will be at your funeral, not even me."_

_"How does it feel to be less than nothing?"_

_"I would rather see you dead than happy."_

_"Steven, you're just like Bud!"_

Hyde growled lowly as those sentences played out like a skipping record in his head; being repeated over and over again until he just couldn't take it. With tears of fury in his eyes, he slammed down his fist against the wall next to his bed and kept punching away until he felt numb once more, and the reminders of what he was were died away to an almost silent whisper.

Why did he even try? Everyone knew where he was headed, prison or dead. Everyone was just waiting for one or the other to happen, it was a ticking bomb and sooner or later it would explode. It killed him inside to hear all of his weaknesses and all of these things people have said to him echoing in his mind, scrawling into his brain to leave a written scar so he'd never forget. He was branded with it; hopeless. He was never going to amount to anything.

Hyde was worse than Edna, because he actually gave a damn. She had accepted her fate, yet he couldn't let his destiny play out in front of him. He wanted something better for himself and would deny his true purpose. His purpose was to fail, to die. He wanted to be better than that, he wanted to show everyone that he could do something, that he was able to be what they didn't know he could. Yet he had no motivation, no support from anyone, and deep down he knew he'd never amount to anything more than gum on a shoe. So why did he even bother?

Hyde turned around to face the wall and closed his eyes, feeling one hot tear fall down his cheek and drifted to an uneasy state of half consciousness. Where with one more breath he could slip away into sleep and be at peace, or one small sound or action would break everything and he'd wake up in a cold sweat mess. One thing was certain; everything in life was the same as his sleep. Either way he still felt nothing and everything all at the same time.


	26. Somewhere I Belong

_**Author's Note: This one hopefully is good but it might be a little iffy because I wrote it on writer's block and also with very little sleep, so we'll just see how this goes aaand while I was camping. This is the 4th of July one because well... I was going to post it and though the holiday is over, I think I should still post it. :) I think this one is definitely the longest yet... not sure though. And yay we're over the 100,000 word mark... is there any other story that is? *shrugs***_

**_Also I want to thank all of you who reviewed over the "Intermission", so very helpful and very, very encouraging. I love knowing there will be a few people who will be reading all the way through, and I'm so glad I've got them. Special thanks to nannygirl and twiniitowers for all of your reviews, ever since day one you've been reading and reviewing and I always look forward to seeing what you two say, and it's always so positive. Thank you, both of you :). And I'm more than excited to have you two on board with me for the whole journey. Yes, it will be quite a task, but I promise I'll get it done, as quickly as I can :)._**

**_Thanks to all of you who are currently reading this as well. If I could make you all a plate of cookies and give them to you, I would. Next time you make cookies, they're from me :D. I really, really hope you enjoy this chapter... I'm making this one very funny and light for all of you. _**

**_I want to apologize for the delay, I meant to post this Friday but my mom got off work early and I was camping the entire weekend and had no access to a computer at all, it was actually quite nice though. Although it ended up making me miss two of my closest friends' first concert... oh well. At least it's here now! :)_**

_**With Much, Much Love,**_

**_Angie_**

_**PS: what got me through writing this was this one song called "A Story" by The Violent Femmes... I don't understand how... but you should listen to it (it's not the song I used for the lyrics) but it's is so freakin' weird it's not even funny... actually it is really funny. But it's bizarre... I have no clue how it gave me a sudden burst of creation... *shrugs* **_

**_PPS: This is all based on true events, including the last part... *whistles innocently*_**

* * *

_When this began, I had nothing to say, and I get lost in the nothingness inside of me. I was confused, and I let it all out to find that I'm not the only person with these things in mind. Inside of me, but all that they can see the words revealed is the only real thing that I've got left to feel. Nothing to lose; just stuck, hollow and alone and the fault is my own, and the fault is my own. I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real. I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long, erase all the pain 'til it's gone. I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real, I wanna find something I've wanted all along; somewhere I belong. And I've got nothing to say I can't believe I didn't fall right down on my face. I was confused looking everywhere, only to find that it's not the way I had imagined it all in my mind. So what am I? What do I have but negativity? 'Cause I can't justify the way everyone is looking at me. Nothing to lose, nothing to gain, hollow and alone; and the fault is my own, the fault is my own. I wanna heal, I wanna feel, what I thought was never real. I wanna let go of the pain I've felt so long, erase all the pain 'til it's gone. I wanna heal, I wanna feel, like I'm close to something real, I wanna find something I've wanted all along; somewhere I belong..._

"All right, when we get to the lake I do not want any repeats of last year, got it, _Kelso_?" Mr. Forman growled from the front seat of the Vista Cruiser as he drove to the infamous Lake Waconda.

"What happened last year?" Hyde mumbled softly to Donna, who shook her head while laughing softly.

Hyde found himself sitting comfortably in the seats in the farthest back, sitting next to Donna, who was in the middle of him and Eric. His army green bag was resting on the floor in between his legs; there hadn't been enough room in the empy space of the back to put a few of the campers luggage, and he didn't mind having his belongings with him.

He told himself that today was going to be a good day. Even though his mom had been gone for nine days with no word, he was going to try his best not to let that get to him. Or the thoughts that occurred when he was packing- how easy it would be to just run away. He wasn't going to be brooding or worried over his mom, he was going to have fun. It's what she would have done if he went missing for nine days, hell she'd be so relieved. Hyde grimaced at that, and turned his attention to Donna once more.

"Kelso brought some firecrackers last time we went camping, and he found three toads, and put firecrackers in there mouths. Then he lit the firecrackers and threw them in the water, at the tent, and one at Jackie and I. It was disgusting, we couldn't eat what Mrs. Forman had been cooking because the guts went in the skillet." Donna whispered, Hyde smirked and nodded as he chuckled softly; that was something Kelso would definitely do. Hyde wouldn't have tortured toads; especially with the M-80s that he brought today. He was just planning on lighting them in the public toilets at the lake entrance. Although it would have been hilarious to see Jackie's horrified face as a toad blew up in her face, he still wouldn't have helped Kelso in the scheme... that one would be for The King.

"Pleasant," Hyde murmured, and Donna laughed quietly at his sarcastic remark. He yawned softly and leaned back on the seat, stretching out his legs on his bag, and squirmed for a few moments until he was comfortable.

"So what do you two have planned for today?" Donna asked Eric and Hyde, he glanced over at Forman who shrugged his shoulders and looked about ready to pass out. Stupid campsite saying it was 'first come first serve'. Of course Mr. Forman would make everyone get up at 3:00 in the morning, and leave finally at 4:30.

"Sleeping," Eric grumbled, then rested his head against the window. Hyde smiled softly and shrugged his shoulders as well, thinking.

"Well I'm going to blow up a couple of toilets, then find as many ways as I can to burn Kelso, deal with Jackie, and light off fireworks," Donna looked at him quizzically, trying to figure out if he was serious or not. The way he had said it sounded insincere, yet his blank face made it seem like he was true to his word. Then again, all of them were about to pass out from exhaustion.

"Sounds like fun," Donna whispered to him, turning her head that was resting on her seat to face Hyde.

"I guess, wanna help?" Donna nodded and closed her eyes. Hyde sighed softly and looked at her peaceful face; why had he decided to like his best friend again? He tensed when feeling her head nuzzle his shoulder and he bit back his bottom lip. "Donna?" he asked quietly, her eyes fluttered open, eyelids still drooping from sleepiness.

"Hmm?" he shook his head and sighed softly; he wouldn't tell her... not here.

"I'll wake you when we get there," she smiled up at him and nodded drowsily, eyes closing once more as she fell asleep on him.

Hyde gazed out his window, eyes glued to the pink and orange horizon as the sun began to rise. He was anxious to arrive at the lake; he knew today was going to be full of hilarious moments. Today was his favorite holiday, as well as Kelso's; the holiday that you get to blow up stuff and it's legal... also known as the Fourth of July. But he had to get over his own sleepiness, and his growing annoyance levels as the sound of '50s music came on the radio. He growled lowly and leaned his head back on his head rest, eyes still peeled outside, seeing field after field full of cows or crops.

Hyde began to wonder if there was any other state that was any lamer than Wisconsin; it would be tough to beat. He didn't understand how some people thought Wisconsin was the coolest place ever; there was nothing to do. Hell, Iowa seemed even more interesting than Wisconsin. He remembered one day in American History when he heard from his teacher that people in states like New York and California thought that the midwest states like Kansas, Wisconsin, Iowa, the Dakotas, and Nebraska didn't have electricity. The whole class laughed at that, but then when he heard Pam Macey say "Wait, Kansas and Nebraska have electricity?" everyone almost burst their lungs with their hysterics, and their teacher just dismissed the lesson.

He didn't want to be stuck in this crap hole his whole life. Not even Milwaukee would do... he didn't want to be anywhere near Wisconsin. Maybe he would go all across the country after he graduated; like his uncle did. Then he could find some awesome place to live like Alaska or maybe Oregon. Hell, why would he have to wait to graduate? He could leave now if he wanted... only his friends would notice but after a year or so no one would really care; they'd realize they were better off. They would all be better off, even him. He didn't want to be stuck in Point Place doing nothing but working for some stupid corporation, or being a burnout... neither of those were on his list of what he wanted to be. Then again, he didn't have a list.

Hyde stopped his train of thought as he asked himself something; _what the hell are you thinking_? His mind was going back and forth on ideas, hopping to a new subject by one word, like a toad. Toads. That reminded him of Kelso... which reminded him of Fourth of July, and being with friends. Friends reminded him of being stuck in the Vista Cruiser driving up to Lake Waconda. Vista Cruiser made him think of being in the backseat with Donna and Forman. Donna reminded him of Donna being on his shoulder asleep. Sleep...

A soft poke on his shoulder brought him closer to consciousness.

_'When did I fall asleep_?' he thought, basking in the feeling he was in between sleep and consciousness. He loved that feeling, and it was so much better than the headache he knew he'd have from the lack of sleep. But a harder tap on his shoulder made him more alert, he clung to the sleep that was being taken away from him so quickly.

"Hyde! Wake up!" He heard Donna bark, and his eyes shot open, why did her voice seem so loud? "Finally... so much for waking me," she teased and he shrugged his shoulders, before pulling his arms back as he stretched them. Yawning he unbuckled his seat belt and opened his door, jumping out. His legs felt numb and wobbly, when had the trip seemed so long?

As soon as he stepped out of the car, he wanted so badly to go back in. The air was humid and the sun was blinding, he had an awful headache and needed caffeine immediately; although he knew there was no way he'd get any for at least two days. And then the shrill annoying voice of Jackie snapping at Kelso for some stupid reason.

"You know I don't like that, Michael. I'm beginning to wonder why I even came along in the first place. I always end up being disgusted or hurt because of you."

"Oh the joy that brings to my heart," Hyde grumbled as he walked passed the bickering couple, to help unload the tent and bags from the back of the car.

"Steven, you don't need to help, why don't you go talk with Eric and Donna?" Mrs. Forman asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders, hands gripping the handles of the cooler that Mrs. Forman had brought.

"There's a lot of stuff," he mumbled, following Red to their designated area. "Uh, do you want me to help set up the tent?" He asked quietly, the older man narrowed his eyebrows, tossing down the bag full of the tent pieces.

"Why would you want to help me when you could be with your friends? Are you out of your mind?" Hyde smirked and Mr. Forman smiled at him.

"Maybe a little," he responded smoothly, making the man chuckle.

"No, Steven, I don't need your help, but uh..." Mr. Forman paused, "go have fun." Hyde nodded and silently walked away from him, wondering why Mr. Forman was in such a good mood. It wasn't natural. But Hyde wouldn't argue with the man, if he didn't want his help, Hyde was perfectly fine with that.

Hyde leaned on the Vista Cruiser and watched his friends as they all scattered with each other, finding this or that, looking for something. He furrowed his eyebrows as he felt a dull throb in his head that alerted him to the headache he was about to have. Hyde groaned softly and tilted his head back on the window, taking a deep breath as he stood uncomfortably in the muggy air.

"Guys!" Kelso exclaimed with wild eyes, nearing Hyde, "I've got twenty fire crackers, we need to find twenty toads and-"

"NO!" the other four cried together.

"Kelso, man, don't waste your fire crackers on toads, why not use them against other people?" Hyde suggested, mind now trailing to the four M-80s he had in his bag, which was equal to a stick of dynamite... Yeah, that would definitely torture people. Especially with what he planned to do with the explosives. Plus, he, Kelso and Forman had decided on having Roman Candle and artillery shell wars; maybe they would do a rendition of D-Day. Hyde grinned at that, and was so deep in his thoughts that he didn't notice Donna walk over to him until she nudged him.

"What?" He asked, she shrugged her shoulders, still eyeing him.

"What are you thinking about?" Donna asked, he chuckled quietly as he leaned on his right side, arm outstretched across the car. He tensed one more when Donna fit herself under his limb; did she want to be that close?

"Like what?"

"What the hell am I doing?" he asked out loud, she tilted her head in confusion. "That's what I'm thinking."

"Well, right now you're camping with your friends, sitting on a car-" Hyde turned gazed down at Donna with a look of disbelief and slight annoyance, eyebrow raised. Laughing sarcastically, he shook his head and she scoffed, slugging his shoulder softly, "I'm only kidding Hyde. Why are you thinking about that now?"

"I don't know," he mumbled, folding his arms over his chest as he averted his eyes to the grass.

"Well, snap out of it," she ordered, glaring at him with a jokingly stern face. Hyde sighed and patted her shoulder softly.

"Yes, ma'am," he murmured defeatedly, smirking as he dug his hands in his pockets.

"Hey Hyde!" Kelso cried, running up to the Vista Cruiser, drenched with water and in his trunks.

"When did you go down to the lake?" Donna asked him.

"We just went down there. But Hyde, I found a turtle and I want to blow it up. Will you help?" Kelso asked him, body trembling from either the cold, or excitement. Hyde's mouth opened and he stared at his friend incredulously, surprised at what he asked.

"You are sick, Kelso, leave the turtle alone," Hyde grumbled, rubbing his fingers on his temples.

"Aw, Hyde doesn't want to hurt a turtle," Donna teased, with a shooting glare at her, she immediately shut up.

"Well, fine, but you guys should totally come down and swim, it's awesome." Donn took a quick glance at Hyde, then nodded slowly.

"All right, let me change and then I'll be out there." Kelso grinned at her answer, then began to walk away.

"Oh! Maybe I can throw the turtle at Eric," he cried, with a mischevious shimmer in his eye, then bolted down towards the water.

Hyde scowled, resting his forehead in the palm of his hands. this headache was only getting worse, and right now it was killing him. His darkly tinted sunglasses helped keep out the bright rays of light, but it wasn't the main cause of the throbbing ache. he sighed heavily and closed his eyes as he waited for the Vista Cruiser doors to open, and Donna to walk out in her swim suit. Donna's bikini... Hyde shook his head at the thoughts, he couldn't think of that; not now. When Donna did step out of the car, he had to suppress his grin and reluctantly tear his eyes away from the two piece suit that clung to her blossoming curves that were already very noticeable at her young age.

"Are you going?" Hyde nodded sluggishly and glanced down at his attire; blue jeans, The Doors t-shirt, and his boots. "We are not going through this again, you are going swimming," Hyde shook his head defiantly; swimming was not in his agenda, especially with this splitting headache.

"Donna, I don't feel good," Hyde hoped that would pardon him from having to join his friends in the lake.

"Yeah, I probably feel worse than you, but I'm still going, and I'm not complaining. You're gonna go swimming, and deal with your frickin' headache or stomach ache, whatever it is," Donna growled menacingly. Hyde opened his mouth to argue, but something told him that he should walk on eggshells... Donna was not her usual self. Hyde lowered his head in defeat and hesitantly opened the door to the Vista Cruiser and sat in the seat he couldn't get comfortable in on the way up here, as he tore through his bag, searching for his swim trunks. How could some girl get him to do things just by one simple command? Then again Donna wasn't just _some girl_... she was his best friend and his secret crush. He wondered if she knew that he liked her, wondered how she felt about him... all in time he'd find out, and hopefully soon.

When he located the long shorts, he hopped from the back seat into the very back, where there was now more than enough room for him to change. Now that all of the luggage was out, he probably could have slept back there, and really considered the option. But, Donna was waiting for him, at least she had been until he got in the car... she was most likely still waiting for him. Hyde folded his jeans and set them on top of his bag, and wriggled back into his shirt before exiting the car.

* * *

"Okay, Forman, Kelso could be anywhere... most likely behind that rock. Keep an eye out, okay?" Hyde asked Eric fourteen hours later, each of them with four Roman Candles and an artillery shell holder in hand, and the six shells in their pockets.

"But what if-"

"No, there are no what ifs because he's by himself," Hyde interrupted, glaring at his friend. "Now, take this punk, and load your weapons, man!" The two boys grinned at each other, and crouched low as they crept up onto the beach from the water.

"I wonder what Donna and Jackie are doing," Eric mumbled, Hyde rolled his eyes and stuck the unlit end of the punk in his mouth, wishing that it was a cigarette instead. He wasn't concerned about the girls, especially the annoying midget; they made sure they were at least slightly content with roasting marshmallows. Though Donna was probably wishing she could be out here with the guys and tempted to blow her brains out from Jackie's excessive talking.

Hyde heard Eric scream and shot his head to the side, and watched as a glowing ball chased after his friend, Kelso was on the offense.

"Duck, man! Retreat!" Hyde zipped down the shore, laughing as he loaded his artillery shell and pointed at the large boulder. Lighting the wick, he heard the soft sizzling and boom of the shell being shot out, and Kelso shriek momentarily. He watched with glowing eyes as the firework exploded on the rock, sending bursts of red all over the sand. "You okay, Forman?"

"Yeah, skinned my knee." Eric mumbled, wiping his pant legs that now had sand covering them. "That was close," Hyde nodded and held out his Roman Candle and lit it. He saw his team mate grinning wildly; this wouldn't just be one shot, these candles had twelve shells in them, which would scare the crap out of Kelso and get him out of his hiding spot. Which is exactly what they wanted.

Only one bad thing; Kelso was on the defense. What Hyde didn't know was that he had a lot of ammo all ready to chuck at the boys that were in the open. Or that he had two spies either, that were helping him set things up behind Eric and Hyde, just to scare them. It would be one major burn against Eric and Hyde, and seeing them both scream like little girls would be hilarious for all of them to remember... well for him, Donna, and Jackie, that is.

"NOW!" Hyde heard Kelso scream over the soft booms from the Roman Candles, and looked around in confusion. What was he talking about? Just then his eyes caught sight of a lit fuse flying through the air right towards him and he dove towards the shallow water of the lake, it was unintentional, but the only way he wouldn't be hit by the fire cracker. He heard the tiny stick explode and Eric squeal on the sand. Spitting out lake water, Hyde looked around curiously, and in quite shock.

"What the hell?" He cried angrily, clothes soaked fromt he water. He could hear Eric screaming, although it was muted by the line of firecrackers now sounding off about a foot from where he had been standing. Hyde scowled as the loud booms from Kelso's ambush nearly deafened him as well as causing puffs of sand to fly up in the air. With angry eyes, Hdye glared at Kelso who was laughing at the two victims, who were either wet or covered in sand, if not a little bit of both.

"That. Was. AWESOME!" Kelso cheered through fits of laughter, very proud of himself.

"Hyde is going to kill you," Donna warned him, the older boy scoffed, while wearing a very goofy expression.

Turning to Kelso, Hyde asked, "How did you do that?" He was more curious rather than angry, even though he was a bit annoyed.

"Why wouldn't I kill Kelso?" Eric asked, limiping towards the three attackers. Hyde heard Donna laugh softly, and he listened, waiting quietly for an answer to his question... from anyone.

"Because, you wouldn't stand a chance, no offense, "

_'Of course, they hear Forman, but not me_,' Hyde thought, deepening his grimace. Though, on the plus side, Donna was saying that he ws stronger and tougher than Eric and Kelso, and girls usually like those kind of guys. Hyde wasn't going to be angry at Kelso for the surprise attack, or anyone else for ignoring his question... they might not have even heard him. They had decided to storm the beach and have a firework war. And Kelso had been the underdog and found a great way to rise and take an unlikely win. It was a job well done.

Hyde shook his head, water splattered in all directions from his shaggy hair as he slowly made his way to his friends. Kelso was chortling as his jeans sloshed with water, his feet dragging from the weight.

"Ha! Hyde is soaked!" Kelso taunted; Hyde spotted revenge. He smirked and raised an eyebrow at his taller friend, and sighed softly.

"Yeah, you too," he mumbled, Kelso tilted his head as his eyes squinted in confusion.

"No I'm-" Hyde bolted towards him, and the older of the two squealed, turning and dashing from him, and towards the water; exactly what Hyde wanted. "Hyde, don't!" While laughing, to show this was all in fun, Hyde charged faster towards Kelso and barreled into him, the two were suddenly submersed in water. Hyde was shocked at how far it took for his knees to touch the water, yet whent hey finally did, he sprang up to surface once again, wiping his eyes and spluttering the dirty water from his mouth. The laughter from the shore filled Hyde's ears and he grinned, glancing around for Kelso. There had been a lot of good burns tonight, and Hyde was glad that he had the latest and best one of the night. After a few seconds, and Kelso didn't pop out of the water, Hyde's heart sank with worry.

"Kelso?" He called out softly, eyes flickering around madly. _'Stay calm_,' he told himself, hoping it would help. Taking a deep breath, he looked around the water by him and trembled. "Kelso, man, this isn't funny! You win, alright?" All was silent up ahead as his panic rose when there was no response from Kelso; not even hysterical laughter which would have reassured Hyde a bit.

Not a moment later did something bump against Hyde's leg. He turned around when he felt the fleshy object and whimpered with what he saw; Kelso floating face down beside him. "Kelso, come on, man!" Hyde growled, gripping the boy's shoulders and flipped him onto his back. He was limp and cold, his face showed no expression, Hyde felt about ready to throw up from his worry. "Oh, God, man, joke's over, okay?" he mumble,d putting his hand by Kelos's nose to see if he was breathing. "Fuck!" he whimpered, lifting Kelso's head in the crook of his arm and used his other arm to keep him floating as he dragged him to shore. He didn't know CPR, but he did know Mrs. Forman; and she was just a little ways ahead, up by the tent.

"What's wrong?" Eric called ou to him, Hyde glanced up and saw his friends' ashen faces as they gazed at the sight before him. Hyde's throat was tight, and his breath shuddered as he prepared to ask Eric to mad dash for his mom.

"He's not-"

"BURN!" Hyde stopped dead in his tracks and stopped breathing as he heard the voice scream from below, so close. Ever so slowly, Hyde shifted his eyes to look at the lying form floating on the water, and gritted his teeth when seeing Kelso staring up at him with a silly grin. "Oh, I got you sooo good!" he added, laughing to himself. Shaking his head, Hyde let go of Kelos, making him fall once more into the water.

"Fuck you," Hyde hissed venomously, stomping on to the sand, passed Eric, Jackie, and Donna who were watching in awe and curiosity.

How could Kelso do that? He had just been playing around. They all kenw he freaked out about friends or anyone hurt, and with good reason. Yeah, Hyde loved burns, and it would have been a good one, but not against him, and not so severe. He wouldn't even do that to someone else. But what was irking him was _what if _Kelso had been hurt? What if Hyde _had_ somehow hurt him and was really dying out there? The thought of doing tha tto one of his best friends made him want to scream and tear out his insides. It would have been almost as bad as losing Chris; once more he'd never be able to forgive himself.

Hyde sat down on one of the logs they had gathered by the camp fire earlier that night. He wrapped his arms across his chest and lowered his head into his hands. The fire nearly scorched his skin, yet a part of him wanted to burn himself; of course he wouldn't though. Closing his eyes, Hyde took deep breaths repeatedly to try and calm down.

_'Kelso is okay, he's not hurt, everything is okay. Everything is all right,'_ He repeated to himself, hoping that it would reassure him.

"Steven?" Hyde glanced up and smiled weakly at Mrs. Forman. The middle aged woman gazed down at him with eyes full of concern.

"Yes, Mrs. Forman?" he asked nonchalantly, putting on his zen act once more, as if he wasn't bothered at all. Yet he had a feeling that she knew he was troubled by something, and looked about ready to sit down and have a deep conversation with him. Or at least attempt to. But instead she clicke dher tongue and laughed before saying, "Sweetie, you need to change out of these clothes. You could get sick!" Hyede chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, knowing that was her subtle way of ordering him around.

"Yes, Mrs. Forman," he answered with a genuine smile. Momentarily, Mrs. Forman beamed at him, then rushed into the tent; Hyde raised his eyebrows wondering what was going on with the two adults, but decided it was best to not think about it.

His good mood facade faltered quickly as he wiggled out of his wet clothes. Why hadn't his friends come up here after him? They were all probably congratulating Kelso for his awesome burn, or figuring out what was wrong with Eric. Hyde scoffed, rubing his bare stomach with his navy blue towel and shuddered from the warmth of the cloth. When sleeping on his black sweat pants, Hyde heard whispers that were relatively nearby. He knew it was his friends, but didn't really want to be the one to acknowledge them first, and he was also shirtless. Their conversation was indistinct as they mumbled to one another, yet as they neared him, it grew clearer, much to his advantage.

"-really pissed, so don't say anything." He heard Donna say as he rubbed his drenched hair with his now damp towel.

"But isn't he always angry?" Hyde grimaced at the little midget's retort, but the very warm cotton t-shirt felt very soothing, and it calmed him.

"Not necessarily," Donna mumbled in response, Hyde smirked at that and sat on his log once more, knees bent close to his chest, and he poked at the fire with a stick. Sparks flew and the flame came to life once more, Hyde stretched out his legs to warm his bare feet on the flame and almost forgot what happened at the lake. But didn't.

"Hey Hyde," Eric greeted casually, sitting next to him. He gave a short nod and wiggled his toes, they lightly prickled from the small movement.

"Hyde," Kelso mumbled feebly, he glanced up for a split second at the talker. "I'm sorr... I didn't know you'd... I shouldn't have done that. And I'm sorry."

"Whatever, man," Hyde chuckled softly, "it's cool," he stared straight into the smoldering embers to try and channel his real emotions into the fire. If they were trying to buddy up to him and had to walk on eggshells around him, then forget it; that would be really immature ad stupid, especially since he wasn't mad. But, if they were being sincere, however, then that would be pretty cool; he'd feel a lot better about everything.

"Really? 'Cause you seemed pretty mad," Kelso asked, and Hyde groaned in annoyance, then turned and gave Kelso a look that should have told him everything... but of course, it was Kelso.

"If you keep bringing it up, then I'll be mad. We're cool." He grumbled lowly, tossing a stick into the fire. Kelso shrugged and smiled, then took a seat on the other side of him. A wind picked up and the smoke from the fire turned to the girls. Hyde heard Jackie start to cough uncontrollably and Donna laugh at her, moving over to sit on the grass next to the boys, and he shook his head.

"Weak," he mumbled, Jackie shot her head up from her arm that was bent, protecting her nose and mouth from the smoke. Her eyes narrowed and she sneered at him, then casually walked over to sit by Donna. Her eyes met Hyde's for a moment and he quickly looked away, trying to ignore the fact that both girls were on either side of where his legs would have been if he hadn't been curled up.

"I am not weak," Jackie replied to him, still standing in front of him.

"Move, you're in front of the fire and I can't see," was all he said, "and yeah, you really are." Eric and Donna chuckled softly and Kelso grinned stupidly, watching this little scene in front of his eyes, the fire making his irises glow.

"Am not!" Jackie cried, then rose her foot and kicked Hyde's shin. His eyes widened in pain, yet was more worried about the fact that she had caused him to lose his balance. He yelped, falling flat on his back, legs over the log. The other four roared with hilarious laughter as he grumbled obscenities, rubbing the back of his neck as he did a sit up to right himself. "See?" Hyde shook his head as she sat down, proud of herself.

_'Tonight sucked_,' he thought to himself, rubbing his back side where a piece of bark scraped his skin. _'Yep, that's gonna hurt tomorrow_.' he added, wrinkling his nose as he sat down once more, face red as he tried to ignore his friends' chortles.

* * *

The remnants of the fire crackled in the pit, three feet from where Hyde lay four hours later, trying to sleep. His arms were bent under his head and his eyes were wide open, not hidden by his sunglasses as he stared in the night sky. A cool breeze was blowing, and surprisingly he was wrapped in both blankets that he had brought from his home; who knew July nights could get so chilly? His knees were bent, feet pressed against the blanket that was under him, heels touching yet spread apart.

**(Author's Note: I wanted to put this in, but it would be too much of a run on, so I think it's okay if I just summarize it :D This will be a part of the deleted scenes thing I was talking about**)

Tonight had been chaotic, and the adrenaline was still running through his veins. Thankfully Mr. and Mrs. Forman had been asleep, or if they hadn't, at least they hadn't bothered to check on them all. The five of them had gotten into a very informative and ballsy game of truth or dare, some of the things he had made him wish he said truth; but he never said 'truth'. Then the game of truth or dare turned into everyone participating in the stunt... first it had been streaking the camp grounds, which wasn't so bad. Donna and Jackie had been terrified of the guys looking at them, so he caved in and said they could wear their undergarments, which he knew they both appreciated, even though it was quite unfair. Then, surprisingly Jackie had dared them all to go skinny dipping at midnight, and since they were mostly naked, they crept down to the dark waters once more and did just that. The two girls kept their distance from Kelso, Eric, and him, which was understandable, but he really wished that Kelso had done the same. He, Eric, and Kelso then decided to swim out to the pole that held the buoys in place; and see who could climb the pole first... little did they know it was slimy, covered in algae, seaweed, and a bunch of other stuff that Hyde really didn't want to think about. When feeling the slime, Eric chickened out, yet stayed by to be the referee; Kelso got on one end of the pole, Hyde on the other. He could hear the girls laughing as they fought each other up the pole, until Hyde kicked Kelso's gut, after he pulled a move he did once in third grade, and Hyde was not going to put up with that. (_Go back to 3rd/4th grade chapters for a refresher, I'm NOT saying it. But if you know it, it's hilarious_). Once Hyde reached the top, he cannonballed off of the pole, then the three raced back to where they could stand. Kelso and Hyde were both covered in the slime, and Hyde wanted to scare Donna, so he silently swam up behind her, and rubbed his shoulder against hers. She nearly screamed but covered her mouth in time, and he pulled away from her, silently laughing his head off. She forgot that they were all naked, and pounced on top of him, sending them both under water; he couldn't see, yet tried his best to not intentionally touch Donna anywhere. When they surfaced, the other three were laughing hysterically, saying "we saw Donna and Hyde butt!" He had left the water after that, saying that he wanted to wash the slime off, and soon the others arrived back at the fire... another memory to go down in their heads.

Hyde smiled as he recollected the events that happened barely an hour ago. It was crazy that all of them had just done that, and now they were sleeping so innocently, like they hadn't even played truth or dare in the first place. The shivers from the cold water had finally ceased and he pulled the blankets closer on him, trying to warm up faster; by morning he'd be without any of the blankets probably, and still sweating.

Donna stirred next to him, and he tried to ignore the flaming red hair that was just a foot away from him; she was so close, he could reach out and touch her, if he wanted. Which he did, but wouldn't.

"Hyde?" he heard her whisper softly, he turned to face her, and saw her looking at him, with her bright eyes.

"Yeah?" he whispered back just as soft, resting his head on his arms. She smiled softly and he thought he could see her blush, but wasn't for certain.

"Did you see anything?" he silently chuckled and smirked, before shrugging his shoulders.

"Did you?" He responded; it had been kind of hard not to see any of her delicate areas, after all she tackled him under water. She nodded and he buried his head in his hands as laughter shook him. She giggled quietly next to him, if he lifted his head, he'd probably wake everyone. "And yes, I did, unintentionally, you were the one who jumped on me, you know." She nodded and sighed softly.

"It was an accident, seeing you... I turned around at the wrong time and..." she trailed off and he shrugged his shoulders, not really caring.

"Same here, kid, no worries." he mumbled, "that was fun though," she nodded vigorously and he grinned, scooting closer to her. She didn't really seem to notice, or mind his actions and he silently thanked himself for making the decision.

"Hyde... how are you?" He raised an eyebrow and looked at her, confused. "Don't say fine, I mean... how are things... you know..." he shrugged his shoulders and sighed softly. "Are they any better?" He nodded, then shook his head, then shrugged once more, then gazed over at her, and saw the worry in her eyes. She bit back her bottom lip as they made eye contact, he was vulnerable right now, but he knew that his eyes could tell her the things his vocal chords couldn't. They always could.

"It's pretty, isn't it?" he finally whispered, making her tilt her head this time. "The sky... at night, all of the stars and the openness... it's nice." Donna sighed heavily and rested her head on his shoulder, his heart jolted at that, and wanted so bad to caress her arm, or kiss her, even her cheek. But he wouldn't, couldn't; so instead he rested his head against her temple, and she didn't seem to mind that, either. "How is it I always do this?" he asked himself, she turned her head to look up at him, and he so enjoyed seeing her resting her chin on his chest, it was all he could do to not hold her.

"Do what?" She whispered, he shook his head and took a deep breath.

"Donna, you asked how I'm doing, how things are... my mom hasn't been home for nine days. And her new boyfriend..." Hyde trailed off, feeling his heart beat increase.

"What?" she urged him to continue, and he trembled softly, unsure if he could. But if he could have her in his arms, then he would.

"He's almost as bad as Bud," he barely whispered, Donna wrapped her arms around him gently, he knew it was just a friendly hug, but still, it was nice that she cared that much.

"Why do you put up with it?" She asked him, yawning quietly. He shrugged his shoulders.

"What else can I do? I've thought about running away; can't do that. Social service would take me to God knows where and... I can take care of myself," he mumbled flatly, Donna groaned and took her hands off of him, propping her head up to glare right into his eyes.

"You can, you have for a long time, but you shouln't have to, Hyde. Don't you realize that?" she asked him angrily, he shook his head and rolled his eyes. He had thought about this multiple times, and he didn't want someone else getting on his case because of his decisions. He was fine.

"Whatever," he mumbled, and turned his head away, feeling his shoulder prickle with goosebumps from where Donna had her head. Hyde shivered softly and stared at the trees swaying in the distance.

"Hyde..." Donna whispered, he wouldn't turn around and face her.

"What?" He growled softly, burrowing deeper in his blankets.

"I'm cold," Hyde turned to face her once again and saw her shivering with a sheet and thick blanket. "And I almost fell asleep on you..." he chuckled and sighed softly, dragging his blankets over to her and lied back on his pillow, staring up at the sky. His left arm was outstretched and he felt her rest her head in between his shoulder and chest, and he smiled. "Thanks, Hyde," she mumbled sleepily, he nodded and sighed softly. "Good night,"

"G'night, Donna," He whispered, pulling his blanket over her, still staring up in the sky. Soon he could feel her deep breathing on his chest and he knew she was a sleep. Hyde closed his eyes and ran a hand through her hair gently; this felt right. She shifted, draping an arm across his stomach and he tried his hardest not to chuckle.

'Maybe tonight wasn't so bad,' he thought, nuzzling his head against the top of hers and sighed happily as he drifted to sleep.

_**Author's Note 3: If you're worried I'm going to make this a Hyde/Donna story: I'm not! She just meant it as a friendship thing, but he takes it as more... hopefully everyone understood/understands that. No, he won't be with Donna, don't worry lol :).**_

**_Hope it was worth the wait. 3_**


	27. Disarm

**_Author's Note: This one is very, very dark, and inspired by true events that happened last week. _**

**_Sorry it took me so long to update, my internet was down and it finally came back today. I was going to have two more chapters uploaded by the 15th, but that of course didn't happen. Um... on the plus side I have three new chapters... where a very important role will be introduced after this one I believe *dances happily*_**

**_These ones are also very long... since I haven't had internet for a week all I've been doing is writing. Yesterday I wrote 30 pages in my notebook for two chapters... which is a lot of pages. I only have four left in my notebook._**

**_Hope you all enjoy this, I missed you! And to my fellow fan board members, I'm sorry I was gone so long and probably won't have time to check the board until tomorrow- anything new?_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**

**_PS: If you never read the lyrics posted at the beginning, read this one, at least. And maybe listen to the song (Youtube, Disarm by Smashing Pumpkins... ta da!) They fit pretty well, eh?_**

* * *

_Disarm you with a smile and cut you like you want me to. Cut that little child; inside of me and such a part of you. Ooh, the years burn. I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes. And what I choose is my choice; what's a boy supposed to do? The killer in me is the killer in you, my love. I send this smile over to you Disarm you with a smile, and leave you like they left me here to wither in denial; the bitterness of one who's left alone. Ooh, the years burn, burn, burn. I used to be a little boy, so old in my shoes. And what I choose is my voice, what's a boy supposed to do The killer in me is the killer in you, my love. I send this smile over to you..._

The television in the living room played black and white pictures with barely any sound. The only light in the room was coming from the glow of the screen. Hyde's eyes stared vacantly at it, mind too far away to even comprehend what was going on with the people. Only that they were too happy. Families weren't like the ones on television; they weren't cheery, parents weren't in love with each other unconditionally, siblings didn't treat each other nicely. They needed to make the star families reality, so people could relate, not make teens wish they could live with a fictional parent. A bowl of cooked spaghetti noodles with butter and salt as a sort of sauce laid warm on his lap, yet he lacked an appetite to even take the first bite. Two days and he still wasn't hungry.

The almost fifteen year old tucked his knees on the same cushion he sat on, almost touching his chest. He rested his head on his knee caps and continued to gaze blankly at the TV, trying to drown out the yelling in the kitchen. Wasn't this supposed to get better? Hyde quivered at the spot and bowed his head, hands on the back of his neck. His breathing came out slow and deep as he tried to block away everything; from the noise in the house to the deep ache in his heart. His throat was tight and his eyes burned; he was so vulnerable. What was the point in trying to hide your feelings away from everyone, when all they did was come back and hurt you so much worse than they did originally?

"You don't give a fuck about what I do, so just leave!" Edna cried, voice almost shaking the house it seemed. Hyde tensed his shoulders and squeezed his eyes shut.

"You actually think I'm gonna leave? Fuck you, you fat bitch!" Her latest boyfriend, Tony, roared. A slap followed suit, and Hyde heard Edna whimper from the contact. He braced himself even more and shook his head... what would his friends do if they saw him like this?

_'It doesn't fucking matter_,' he thought to himself, telling himself that they would understand. Why did it matter what others thought about him? It didn't.

"Don't you fucking touch me!" His mom screamed at the top of her lungs, her outburst gained more hits.

"Don't touch you? Don't TOUCH YOU? I'm gonna do more than touch you, when I'm through with you, you're gonna wish you were dead, you fat cunt!" Tony roared furiously, his blows against her skin grew louder and louder with each hit. A thud was heard on the cracked linoleum in the kitchen, and Edna's soft sobs were heard as she pleaded for the monster to stop.

Something inside of Hyde snapped. Could have been because of the past; both of them going through the same amount of nightly torture. Or his own dark, brooding thoughts breaking down and making him react in one hell of a storm. But either way, hearing his own blood begging for release from pain brought him out of his moment of lingering despair, into defense.

"Stop it! Stop it, STOP IT!" He bellowed, voice booming off of the walls; for a moment Tony did stop and turn to the teenager. But then he only shook his head and continued on wailing against his mother. Hyde took a deep breath, felt his anger and protection mode flood adrenaline through his blood. Testosterone levels high, he clenched his fists and hopped over the torn green couch. "Don't you FUCKING touch my ma!" Hyde growled, then collided his fist with Tony's jaw, not enough to strike him down, but enough to send him against the wall, to shock him.

Hyde saw a small puddle of blood on the floor by Edna's head and he quickly tore his eyes away, not wanting to soften up. If he was going to protect her, he needed his anger, his zen. He turned his attention to Tony who was now standing, and more angry than before.

"You got a lotta nerves, boy," the man spat, eyes glowing with a mad rage. Hyde only stood his ground, his fists surprisingly not shaking as he held them in stance. He was terrified of messing with this man, who was probably more than twice his weight, and almost a foot taller than him. But it was to protect, and if he went down just like Edna, then at least he went down with a fight.

"I do?" Hyde growled, "You think you can beat on my mom just 'cause she made you mad? Well fuck you, 'cause you can't," Tony laughed darkly and shook his head, probably thinking this was all so stupid.

"What makes you the one to decide that, you little scrawny piece of shit?" Hyde glared at him with such dark eyes, full of hate. Hyde was not scrawny, Eric was scrawny. But at least Tony underestimated him, it would catch the older man off guard. He watched slowly as Tony raised his arm, he wouldn't flinch or cower, not to this guy.

"No," Hyde's ears perked at the shaky whimper from the ground, which made his eyes avert to the floor. Edna was wide eyed and ashen, about ready to pass out, yet watching this scene right before her eyes. Hyde gazed at her, blue on blue, and wondered exactly what she was thinking. He saw tears shining in her eyes and he felt his face soften, his hands relax. "STEVEN!"

The hit sent shocks of pain through Hyde's entire face as Tony punched his temple. Hyde stumbled, but didn't fall, he blinked a few times to regain focus. He growled lowly in his throat and tightened his fists once more, before making a counter attack on Tony. His left fist went under the chin, then not even a moment later, his right hand made contact with Tony's jaw. He stomped his foot against his knee, and once more rose his right fist and pounded down hard against his collar bone; pressure point.

Hyde backed away, when seeing Tony reach in his jeans pocket and pull out a pocket knife. Memories of years ago flooded his vision, and his breathing hitched. His eyes were wide with fear, and the man smirked, seeing Hyde's weakness. Edna let out a strangled cry and tried to raise herself off of the ground, but something caused her too much pain, so she fell back once more.

"Don't touch my son!" Edna shouted, voice shaking, "I... I'll call the cops if you lay another hand on him," Hyde watched the silent exhange between the two adults, her eyes connected with his and it seemed like they were communicating through their minds. Both of them knew something, shared a common knowledge, and the look on Tony's face showed the same fear Hyde did when seeing the knife. "If you don't leave in five seconds, I'm calling the cops, and you know I will," Edna said coolly, grabbing the stove handle and lifting herself up. She winced as she stood, and gazed up at Hyde with such a pained look. It nearly made him want to go over to her and hug her and apologize for whatever he had done to make her hate him... but he didn't do anything, and he knew that.

She considered him her son... that struck him like the knife would have. Edna had protected him in a way that he never thought she would, and it confused him on so many levels. Why did she act the ways she did when in reality she only wanted what was best for him? What was he supposed to do? Did she really care or was it just the moment? Hyde watched, with a furious glare as Tony surrendered.

"Fine, I'm gone," He grumbled, walking from the kitchen to the living room, "I'm gone for good, so don't come crawling back to me!" He cried, then slammed the creaky screen door.

The house was silent, Hyde slowly glanced down at his mom and she looked up at him. He was unsure of what to say, or if he should say anything at all, and she probably felt the same way. This was the first time in a long time that they shared a moment without screaming at each other, or one of them being passed out. This was the first time in six years that he felt that his mom might actually give a damn about him, and yet he couldn't say a word, and neither could she.

"Are you okay?" he finally asked gruffly, trying to hide his nerves; it almost made him sick that he was nervous about talking to his own mom. She bit back her bottom lip and sighed softly, shrugging her shoulders.

"No, but does it matter?" She asked, he chuckled sadly, unsure of how to respond.

"Yeah," he finally mumbled, silence once more. He nearly kicked himself for saying that, as they were now in the awkward silence that he absolutely hated. He didn't look up from the floor, otherwise Hyde would have seen her shed a tear and smile so happily. "Thanks... for..." he trailed off, then turned his head toward the door, he just wanted to run. He wasn't about to ask what he wanted to know, although maybe she knew that he was wondering what exactly she meant. Or if she meant it.

"Sometimes you say the right things to make the wrong go away," Hyde turned to face her once more, shocked by what she said, that she had some form of advice, if you could consider it advice, underneath her anger and carelessness. Without saying another word, she limped passed him, shoulders shaking softly as she walked to her bedroom. He heard her door softly shut and he sighed, leaning against the wall and ran his hand through his hair.

Hyde felt sick, trapped, and so confused. He needed out, somehow, fresh air or just a way to escape everything. But he didn't feel like walking... he wanted to leave. Run away. It seemed that the way she said things, it seemed like a form of goodbye. Maybe it was the right, or maybe it was the wrong, but he just wanted to go... for awhile at least.

With trembling hands, he grabbed the keys to his mom's station wagon and tried his best to sneak out the screen door; it's not like she'd really care though, he snuck out all the time. Walking down the porch steps, he silently crept towards her car and staired at the tan exterior, wondering if he was actually going to do this. All signs and feelings pointed to yes, so he blocked out all of the worry he felt and quietly opened the driver side door. Sitting in the light brown cloth seat, he shut the door and adjusted the seat so his legs weren't cramped. After putting in the keys, he turned the ignition; the engine rattled a little, but soon the car was on. The lights shone in the house and he bit his lip, pulling the shift into reverse. With hands on the steering wheel, he turned his head and backed out of the driveway, turning the wheel left as he did so. Putting the shift into drive, he then pressed down hard on the gas and was soon speeding down the road.

Where he was going, he had no fucking idea. The radio was blaring loudly as he drove, the windows down and he felt free, he felt happy. Solitude was what he craved, although he couldn't wait for the days when he and his friends would just cruise. The streets were quite dark, even though the lights were on, and barely anyone was out, even though it was only 1 in the morning. He didn't give a fuck if Edna woke up, wondering where he was tomorrow. Who knew if he'd even be back by then... or if he'd come back to Point Place at all? He watched as the sign to the town passed by him quickly, and he went even faster on the road, going nowhere; fast.

Hyde continued on into the darkness; the sky was a physical comparison to his thoughts and emotions. But he wouldn't comprehend his mental workings, only that he now had an idea of where to go. The only place he called home. He sped on the highway, headed north, and watched as silhouettes of trees and fields flashed by his eyes. With every minute, every mile he was growing closer and closer to Kenosha, and even closer to his childhood. Maybe seeing the place would help him realize what he needed to do. Go left, continue on to God knows where. Go right; head back home.

This was going to be a mistake, Hyde just knew it. He hadn't seen his grandparents since he was eleven. They had both died a little after telling Edna it wasn't his fault Chris died; at the last family Christmas. A week later, they were attending there funeral. Hyde thought it might have been more than just a coincidence.

They had left him, even though they promised. Chris left him, because of his stupid actions. Bud left because of him, he made his life hell. Edna was probably going to leave him, and same with his friends. At least once, everyone had promised they would never abandon him, yet as the years passed by more and more people were eradicated from his life. Hyde had a feeling he would end up completely alone, isolated from the world. And he was frightened that he would turn out like that; he did want to trust, and to love. But he was to afraid to let anyone in.

Rain began to drizzle lightly, the wipers squeaked against the windshield as they swiped away the droplets. The lights of the car reflected off of the highway, onto the glass, making it harder for him to see. He didn't mind it much, though, it just made the drive more enjoyable for him.

Hyde reached down and switched the dial of the radio. WFPP wasn't coming in clearly, so he'd change it to one of the Kenosha stations. He paused momentarily when hearing Bob Dylan , sometimes he could listen to the guy, but only for the words. He shook his head after a verse of the song went on, and passed the radio station; fuzz filled the speakers, matching the pattering of the rain.

A bolt of lightning shot throughout the sky, booming thunder that vibrated the sides of the car followed momentarily after the bright flash. Hyde blinked, slightly blinded, and continued into the night, knowing exactly where he was going.

_"Tonight I'll sing my songs again, I'll play the game and pretend. But all my words come back to me, in shades of mediocrity. Like emptiness in harmony, I need someone to comfort me..." _Hyde listened to the words of the Simon and Garfunkel song that bled through the fuzziness of the radio for a few seconds.

_'How ironic,'_ he thought, grimacing as the streetlights in Kenosha glowed in the distance. He hadn't been to this place in years, so why was he going now? How did this stupid idea get into his brain? Hyde didn't answer himself, and turned left, onto a gravel road. A wave of dread flooded through him as he drove down the road; he just wanted to go, but something kept pulling at him, encouraging to keep the car in drive and not reverse. And he did all things stupid; this wasn't near as bad as burning down Old Maine.

The rain was pouring down heavily as he pulled up the driveway. Suddenly he was nervous and almost scared; no one moved into this place, it wouldn't be considered breaking in, since it was owned by someone in the family. Why did he suddenly care about sneaking in to his dead grandparent's house? The station wagon came to a halt where his mom always parked; as close to the door as possible. Unbuckling his seat belt, Hyde opened the door and quietly stepped out of the car.

The cottage like house was exactly how he remembered it. The lawn and flower garden was kept up, as far as he could tell, at least. The house was still pure white and surrounded by flowers and plants.

_'Someone must take care of it,'_ Hyde thought, stepping up the maroon painted stairs. He bent down, dug his hand under the door mat, and found the keys to unlock the house. He smiled when seeing the glittering key in hand; he remembered that his grandpa told him the keys would always be there; and they were. Turning the knob after unlocking the door, he heard a barely audible creak as the door opened. Biting his lip, Hyde silently stepped into the very empty mudroom; he felt calmer when the faint, yet lingering scent of tobacco filled his nose. Another reminder of his grandpa.

Hyde's boots clicked on the floor as he entered the spacious, vacant kitchen. Boxes lined the counters, and he felt his eyes burn as memories of his childhood played in his mind. Chocolate chip peanut butter cookies, his grandma taking care of his injuries and kissing each skinned knee on that very same counter. How she took care of him in here when he fell in poison ivy, and they found out he was allergic to it. And when she held him close and cooked him home made chicken noodles oup whenever he was sick.

Hyde stared wistfully at the kitchen, wishing so badly that his grandparents were still here; still alive. They could help him, he knew they would; maybe he would be living here. But of course, that wouldn't happen, they were gone, and once more he had to realize that.

He pushed open the swinging door without another glance, and entered the living room. It made him feel sick when he saw all of the boxes. Every little thing that made this room perfect was now packed away. The only furniture that still stood was the couches, recliner, empty book case, and the piano; all of which had sheets draped over them. There was a large stack of boxes in the corner, by the piano, at least twelve, and he was sure they were full.

Curiosity struck him when spotting six smaller boxes on one of the couches. He wasn't going to wait until dawn to see the contents, that was four hours away, but he had no means of light. Light. Slowly, Hyde turned around and looked up at the ceiling; in the middle of the room, a chain hung from the ceiling light. He wondered; do they still have electricity? They had to, if someone came here all the time... Hyde walked over to the chain and tugged. Shock filled him as he quickly shut his eyes to block away the sudden light.

'Why do they keep paying utilities when nobody lives here?' he asked himself, nearing the dark brown puffy couch once more.

His curiosity grew even more as he read the words on the first box, _'Elizabeth- 1938'_; that was his aunt. The next read, _'Carol, Jane, and Paul- 1953, 1956, 1958'_; his cousins. His eyes scanned the third box, which was designated for his uncle Jonathan, with 1936 written beside his name, and the fourth- _'Ronald and Anne, 1955, 1963'_. Hyde's hands lightly shook as he picked up the next box, the name in black marker already sticking out to him. _'Edna- 1941'_, he set the box on the floor and turned to the sixth, and last box, his heart leapt as he read its title. _'Steven and Chris, 1959, 1968'_, what could be in these boxes? He had no idea he had anything left here, and Chris had only been two months old before he passed. Maybe he had things he didn't know about, or maybe it was a bunch of money.

A part of him wanted to wait and look through all of the boxes with Edna. But he figured it would be too uncomfortable, and she'd be super pissed at him for coming here. So, he dragged the boxes away from the furniture, and stacked them on top of each other. He would look through them when he got home.

Hyde stopped at the thought when he put together what he said.

_'When I get home,'_ he thought once more and sighed. _'So much for running away.'_ Hyde staggered through the kitchen, the weight of the boxes was very surprising, but he could definitely handle it.

Placing the two boxes side by side in the very back of the wagon, Hyde shut the trunk and made a mad dash for the house. He rant hrough the rooms, trying to avoid overwhelming memories. Pulling the chain in the living room once more, the only light in the house were out, and Hyde silently bolted to the door once more. Closing the maroon door, Hyde turned the key and stared at it.

_'Should I take it?_' he thought, gears in his mind clinking away. Eyes on the key, he sighed softly and kicked the door mat over. Placing the object in its hiding spot, Hyde tried not to think of how awesome it would be to have the keys to that house. Without a second glance of the house, Hyde walked to the station wagon and took a deep breath. He'd be heading home... back to hell.

Hyde closed the door of the car and as he turned the key, the engine hissed and huffed, yet the now crappy car finally sputtered to life. Instead of backing out like he would have normal done, he did a U-Turn into the lawn, mentally apologizing as he did so.

Taking one last look at his grandparent's home, Hyde sped out of the driveway like he was being chased. The ride home wouldn't be too bad, except he was now tired and by the time he'd get back it would probably be 3:00 in the morning. Rubbing his eyes, he yawned and continued on the highway, only turning up the radio to hopefully wake him up.

Hyde couldn't stop thinking about what was in those boxes. His grandparents had been well off, maybe it was money. As much as he wished that was true Hyde had a feeling that these belongings would have more sentimental value to them. Maybe they were things he had as a baby that they had kept, or things he had given them. There were so many possibilities, it was absolutely endless. And he was dying to look in the cardboard. But unfortunately, he'd have to wait until he got home, so he pressed harder on the gas pedal, now going 20 miles above the speed limit, and gazed forward at the road.

* * *

An hour later, Hyde sat cross legged on his mattress, the two boxes next to each other at his feet. The lamp next to him gave just the right amount of light. First, he picked off the tape on his mom's box, carefully, so he could tape it all back together and make it look like it had never been opened. Slowly he lifted the left flap and peered inside the; there was five smaller boxes inside, and a pile of clothes and loose papers. Hyde took out the first box and lifted off the lid. Photographs, sketches, and scraps of paper almost toppled out as the lid came off. He didn't plan to snoop, but he wanted to know a little bit about his mom's past.

Pictures of her as a child passed his eyes. Her hair was very dark and straight, so unlike his. As a baby, she was pudgy, but aren't all babies? There were other pictures as well, like her with her parents and siblings, and friends, she looked so much different. Then one where she stood in a long dark dress, with some boy; probably prom. His heart jolted when seeing a picture of her holding him, probably mere minutes after his birth. She didn't look happy as she cradled him in her arms; he knew he had ruined her life, and everything that she wanted to do. Pictures of him as an infant and toddler in her arms and by himself were quickly tossed back in the box, not wanting to see her unhappiness at his happy eyed face. His stomach twisted when he saw the first photo of her holding Chris; she looked happy, exhausted, but happy nonetheless. What had he done to be such a screw up. When he saw him holding Chris, he noticed how frail and sick he looked; what did people think of him then?

Hyde moved tot he next box and unfolded pieces of notebook paper. He felt his throat tighten as his eyes scanned the paper. His anger towards his mom reached new levels as he read what she wrote to them.

_'Mom and Dad,_

_Why do you keep trying to interfere with my life? I moved out years ago so you couldn't control me. Steven is no concern of yours, he is my son and I wouldn't put him through any harm. He is a child, they all are wild and get hurt all the time when they play... Bud isn't abusing him, and neither am I. I wouldn't allow it._

_And the drug use is none of your concern. My husband and I are both responsible adults, and you can't question our home life. Steven hasn't witnessed it, and it doesn't affect him at all._

_If you don't stop questioning my parenting, then we won't speak to each other. As my parents, you should trust me and support me. If you don't, it's your loss._

_-Edna'_

Hyde scowled and crumpled the paper before chucking it into the box. She lied to her parents about his welfare, when she begged them to believe her! He was abused, he was sick and he needed help and she wouldn't allow it. How could she do that to him? Edna put him through hell, and wanted to keep him there... he had a way out and he never even knew about it. If she hated him so much, why didn't she give him to her parents? Everyone would have been better off. But no, she wanted him as her fucking punching bag and scape closed her box and kicked it off of his mattress. The box skidded on the carpet and bumped against the door; he'd give it to her later. Hopefully the contents in his and Chris's box would help make him feel better.

Two smaller boxes were sitting side by side each other, one labelled 'Steven James' and the other 'Christopher John'. Underneath them were folded baby blankets from when Hyde was an infant, and when Chris was alive. His box was heavier than Chris's, but that was understandable, as much as he didn't want to think about it.

Opening his box, Hyde felt his whole body tremble as he gazed inside. Gifts that he had made them lay inside, looking not even a day old. Photos of his childhood, with his grant parents, infant and toddler days, baseball and school picture were all tucked in one corner. But what caught his attention was a beautiful wooden box that took up most of the bottom of the cardboard box.

Hands quivering, he lifted out the wooden container and found he needed a key. There was a piece of paper folded on top of the arched lid, and he took it off. 'Look under' was all it read, and he did as it said. When he lifted the box over his head, he grinned when finding a tiny handle to a miniscule secret drawer... only his grandpa would do that. Pulling it out, he found the key that fit snug in its hidden home, and with high anticipation, unlocked the small chest. A click was heard and he raised the lid, jaw dropping in awe.

Inside lay so many items, things he always played with or just stared at in wonder as a child. The box was very deep, so there was still a lot of room for more objects. Tipping it, clanks of jewelry and metal was heard as everything clashed together on his bed.

First his hands picked up his grandfather's pocket watch and turned it over as he examined the shining gold. He smiled weakly and carefully lowered it into the velvet bottom of the box; the item was something he always played with when he was younger. Then he carefully eyed three rings; their wedding rings. He silnelty wondered why he was given so many of these beautiful things, and not his cousins, but he didn't mind. He kissed the diamond on his grandma's engagement ring and set them next to the watch.

Hyde sorted through all of the objects until finally there were only two thick envelopes, full and heavy. One read 'Grandma' the other, 'Grandpa'; he was torn on which to look in first. With much consideration, he tore the seal on his grandmother's envelope and examined the inside. There was a folded, yellowed piece of paper, with the lightest touch he took the corners and unfolded the letter and gazed at her beautiful cursive penmanship.

_'My Dearest Steven,_

_I hope you know that you are loved so very much by your grandfather and I. You are a remarkable boy and will grow up to be a wonderful man, we just know it. _

_Things weren't easy for you, unfortunately. As hard as we tried to change things, your mother never let us. We wanted you to live with us, but your mom just didn't exactly see eye to eye with your grandfather and I. I am so very sorry for not being there when you needed us, or wanted us. I hope that you can forgive us for that, sweetie. _

_I know that as you grow older it will get hard to fight certain temptations, and you will be curious about things, all teenagers are. But just remember how talented and smart you are, and that you have such a bright future ahead of you if you continue to shine like you do now. Oh, I remember the day you played us that beautiful song you wrote on that guitar, I just cried. I was so very proud of you, and I always will be, no matter what you do._

_Find the ones who love you, and never let them leave you. The Formans especially, they are such nice people, I'm so glad you introduced us to them. Eric seems like a great boy and his parents are so sweet. Follow your heart, and don't be afraid to stand up for yourself, Steven. _

_I'm giving you this necklace for when you find that special girl, as well as the wedding rings. This necklace was passed to me from my mother, she received it on her wedding day. I had actually given it to your mother on her wedding day, and she was to pass it on to your future wife, but she had given it back; she didn't want it. Which is why I gave it to you, and not any of your cousins. I also trust you the most to use these gifts wisely. _

_I love you Steven James, you are such a joy to my heart. I am so proud of you, darling._

_Love,_

_Grandma'_

Not only did Hyde find the antique diamond necklace his grandma wore at all times whenever he saw her, but there was $500 beside it. Hyde almost felt like throwing up; why were they giving him all of this stuff? Did his cousins get things like this? Hyde sighed softly and smiled as he opened his grandpa's envelope and found similar parchment. Although the handwriting wasn't as neat as his grandmother's, it was still very fancy, and actually legible, unlike his.

_'Dear Stevie,_

_Your grandmother said so much of the same things that I wanted to say. And sadly, I don't have the same way with words as her, so bear with me, okay?_

_You, Stevie, are such an incredible young man. There is so much talent and intregity within you, and I mnow very well that you will go very, very far in the future. though others may feel differently than I do you know just as well as I, that you will show them just who you are and how amazing you are. I am so proud, so proud that you are my grandson, I just wish we could have spent more time together. But when we did, it was great, huh?_

_Don't listen to the people who put you down, they don't know who you really are. Now, I'm not trying to get too emotional, but sometimes people need to be reminded of things they're not told very often._

_Onto a new note, I have some important information. Inside of this envelope is a ring, given to me by my father. I chose you to hold this ring, because your grandmother and I each gave sentimental things to each and all of our grandchildren. I wanted to give you this ring because it was given to the youngest boy in the family, and even though we consider Christopher our youngest, I sadly cannot give him the ring. I want you to take care of it well, and remember to pass it on._

_Also, your grandma and I each gave our grandchildren $500. There is money for dear Christopher as well. Save the money for when you need it. _

_The box was made by myself, and I wanted to give it to you for Christmas. Place all thigns that you value in here and you know where the key goes; nice, isn't it? Only you will have access to opening the box, unless you share the key's location, or don't lock it. I think you know what to put in there, Stevie._

_You are such a gift, dear boy. Remember always that we love you and shall continue to guide you. We are so proud of you. I love you, sweet grandson._

_Stay strong,_

_Grandpa'_

In the envelope was not only $500, but $1500, for both him and Chris. Tears stung his eyes as the silver ring fell into his hand. he slipped it on his right ring finger, where it fit just right.

Hyde immediately went to work sorting through things to put in the box. Of course the wedding rings and necklace would, as well as the money, some photos of him, then of Chris. One picture was of little 8 year old Hyde holding a month old Chris, he looked so happy. Hyde placed his index finger on the infant, and as he gazed at it, a tear fell on the photo. Hyde shook his head and gently placed it in the box.

Hyde stared at Chris's unopened box, too afraid to open it. If only he could open it with Chris, but of course that wasn't ever going to happen.

_'Unless...'_ Hyde trailedoff in his head, a bright idea forming. He'd have to wait, but patience was something that he was fond of, and a master at.

Closing the lid to the wooden box his grandfather made him, Hyde locked it and stared at the key in his hands. He didn't want to put it in its hiding spot, even though that's what it was made for. He leaned over the end of his mattress and felt around for one of his old boots. Unlacing the shoe lace, Hyde examined the length of the string and wrapped his hands around his own neck to figure out the width. He bit one end of the lace, grinding his teeth against it until it snapped apart. Then he went to the otherend and gnashed his teeth against the cloth, his enamel felt like it was on fire from the friction.

Once the shoe lace was the length it needed to be for his makeshift necklace, Hyde slipped the key onto the string and adjusted the object so it would be in the middle of the lace and brought it around his neck. His fingers fumbled as he tied the strings together. When he finally got the home made necklace together, it was tight on his neck, yet wasn't unbearable. He felt a little awkward about wearing jewelry, but maybe no one would notice. And the ring and key looked cool, so it could be all right.

Hyde set the box next to his mattress, the pink of the sun shone dimly through the windows , Hyde pulled out the small knitted light blue baby blanket and lied on his side. Closing his eyes, a small tear trickled from the corner of his eye, he wiped it away quickly and sighed shakily.

For the first time in such a long time, he hadn't felt so lonely. It was overwhelming. All of this had brought out memories he had packed away in mind that he didn't want to remember, feelings he didn't want to feel. He was almost fifteen years old, he didn't feel these stupid emotions; he was almost a man. Men didn't have these emotions; Hyde knew that deep down that was bull shit, but he wanted to believe it. He didn't want to cope with how he felt about anything, he wished he never had to feel anything. But, unfortunately, he did, and he was forced to deal with these stupid feelings.

All he wanted was one more day...


	28. Model Homes

_**Author's Note: Now that I am four chapters ahead in my notebook, I hope to post all of them today... it could take awhile though :). I'm supposed to be editing the senior pictures I took for my older sister, but... whatever she can wait and I was gone for a long time from FF :D. In this chapter there are scenes from "Class Picture", except it's the current time (I'm already at 1975, it's so weird). And I have some really tasty coffee (I just woke up- 1:00 in the afternoon, woot!). We are introduced to a very important person in the this chapter, and I think this one is really funny... there is a lot of irony and teen themes in it, so it's pretty good. Lots lighter, which you probably will all enjoy :D. **_

**_One Question: I have Season 8 figured out except one thing... do you want Eric to go to Africa or not? It's entirely up to you. I don't feel like writing in Randy, because I have another plot instead of having him. But tell me what you think about the Eric going or not... I don't want to change the plot too much... but I am. _**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie. _**

* * *

_I need to be alone, I don't need to be with someone, I don't need to join the swarm. Everywhere you look out, like two birds who lose their home; they're blocking all the streetcars, they're holding up our phones. And if it leaves a bad taste, you need to wash it down. And if you build a model home, just burn it to the ground. I refuse to show my good side in no place to call my own; it's no home. So can you spell disaster- can you feel it in your bones? I don't feel like I'm a lover, and I don't recognize her foe. It's her own investigation, it's a trial put on for cats. I'm not the one to feel so selfish, there's no way this one will last. And if it leaves a bad taste, you need to wash it down. And if you build a model home, just burn it to the ground. I refuse to show my good side in no place to call my own; it's no home..._

"Get your ass out of bed!" Hyde groaned drowsily, and while still asleep, pulled his pillow up over his head. A throbbing ache passed to his temples and he pressed his fingertips to his forehead to help relieve said pain.

"Leave me alone!" Hyde retorted, scowling as he rubbed his eyes. A familiar tightness was greeting its normal good morning ritual and he threw his head back on his mattress, groaning in discomfort.

'Yeah, mornings aren't good if you can't get laid,' he thoguht, ripping back his blankets and rolled off of his mattress. He turned his attention to the alarm clock that sat at the upper corner of his bed. The white digits read to him that it was 7:30 and he shook his head.

"Fuuuck," he grunted, sleepily dragging himself to the makeshift dresser made of plastic shelves.

Today was the first day of school, he was on year closer to being out of this hell hole. It was weird for him to realize he was now a sophomore; freshman year seemed like a blur. Then again, the year did consist of toking in the boiler room or outside with Kelso and sometimes Eric. That could possibly be the reason why he didn't remember it. He was now one of the kids that used to scare the crap out of him. Sure, he asn't an upperclassmen, but it sure as hell did beat being a niner. He felt so bad for the new batch of kiddies who would be put through nine horrible months of ceaseless hell.

Hyde pulled on his usual jeans and band t-shirt; they were worn the day before but no one would know. He hadn't seen any of his friends in over a month, but that was his own doing. Sliding his feet into his uncle's two size too big boots, he walked out of his room, into the bathroom.

"If you want a fuckin' ride to school get your fat lazy ass out here, now!" Edna screamed, Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes as he set down the toilet lid and zipped his jeans after his "morning leak ritual". Flushing the toiliet, he peeked his head out the door, eyes quickly finding Edna snorting a line of crank.

"You don't have to be there til ten!" He shouted back, slamming the door once more and muttered "bitch," under his breath.

He stared at his reflection in the mirror, shirt pulled up to his rib. He wasn't fat, he told himself, running his hand over his abs. At the start of the summer, he would have felt soft skin and his bones jutting out from starvation. but now he felt toned muscle and... not so soft skin. When the summer started, he realized how much of a 'kid' he looked; super lanky, half child-half adult eyes, and though he was strong, barely any muscle. Plus he stood at the giant height of 5'5", but at least he was taller than Donna and Jackie. If he wanted to get Donna to notice him as something more than her best friend, he knew he had to bulk up. So he spent most of his summer exercising, eating, and showering. He hadn't seen his friends in a month, mostly because if they saw him everyday they wouldn't be able to tell the gradual change. And in that month, he changed a lot, they'd be shocked at the growth spurt that took place within the four weeks; a total of five inches was added onto his height, and 25 extra pounds of muscle, baby. This had been the summer of change for him, and he felt pretty damn good about it.

He would never admit it, but he was actually nervous about his first day back. Not only he was going back to school, but the shit they were going to learn was actually hard. And within the first two weeks, he knew he'd be failing. Feeling rather sick at the thought, Hyde walked out of the bathroom and through the living room. Swinging his messenger bag over his arm, Hyde turned around and flipped off Edna as he walked out the door. Whent he door slammed, her shouts were muffled, and he sighed with relief. Thankfully, he didn't live too far from the school; he didn't get ides from Forman ever since Mrs. Forman got a job last year. Though Hyde was lazy, he knew walking wasn't going to kill him, and he actually liked the solitude.

Taking a drag from his cigarette, Hyde instantly felt a little calmer. Today would be a good sleep day, then after the first week he'd start skipping. He didn't care about school, he already decided he was going to drop out at 16, if he was still alive. Of course, Edna was counting down every second of every minute until the day he dropped dead; cause for celebration!

Hyde grimaced, flicking the butt of his cigarette as he continued walking. He coudln't think about that today, or any other time. Sometimes he got so sick of himself, it drove him crazy, almost as bad as Edna herself. Shaking his head in annoyance at himself, Hyde continued on his way to school with no other thoughts except, _'this is going to suck.'_ He just knew it. Every year things got worse and worse, the classes got harder, he cared less and less, his friends excelled as they paid attention; he remembered last year when he was threatened being held back if he didn't bring his grade up to a D+ average. What if he failed this year? Thinking that almost made him want to try this year, but he thought better of it, who needed to know stupid geometry or Spanish, or how to make a homemade pie? Not him, that's for sure.

Fifteen minutes later, Hyde pushed open the doors to the school, and shoved his way through the flocks of junior high students, to the office. The secretary glanced at him momentarily, then began sifting through stacks of papers; schedules.

"Steven Hyde?" she asked, slowly he nodded, and the lady handed him a half piece of paper. On it was his schedule, and the room numbers, locker number, the combination, and unfortunately his grade point average from the year prior. He ignored the bottom half of the page and instead turned to the lock combination. He hated those stupid things, because when he did go to class, they always made him later than he would have been. He could never get the stupid thing on the right stupid number. And it sucked.

Instead of stopping at his locker, Hyde made a run for it down the hall to room 104; biology. The tardy bell had already gone off, and he actually didn't plan on being late for the first day of school. Sighing, he gave a silent goodbye to his last ounce of freedom and opened the door. Instantly he was greeted with noise levels that almost made him want to cower on the ground, holding his ears shut, yet he only kept his cool as he slowly shut the door. Hopefully his teacher didn't notice.

"Class please be-" His teacher, a short, squirrely looking guy was drowned out by the students gossiping, catching up, and horsing around.

_'This guy is a mockery to the Plant name,'_ Hyde thought, silently squeezing his way through packs of peers, none taking a single notice to him. That's exactly how he liked things; under the radar. But, he didn't see any of his friends, even though they all had first hour biology together, about the only class they did share. Disgruntled, Hyde sat in the back row of desks, opened a notebook and stared ahead at the clock as his right hand doodled subconsciously.

"Please, students! I must-" Hyde rolled his eyes at Mr. Plant's feeble attempts and took a deep breath.

"HEY!" He shouted loudly, "Shut the hell up and sit down!" He barked, then continued once more on the careless doodling he had started minutes before. The room was silent as they all surprisingly obeyed him, though they probably thought it was Mr. Plant who yelled. Soft murmures filled the room and Hyde zoned out, shading in his odd drawing.

"O-okay, let's get down to business," his teacher squeaked, "We'll do roll call, then I'll go over the class guidelines." More mumbles and whisperes continued, in response. "When I read your name, say 'present'," Mr. Plant stammered, silence. "Don Alberts?"

"Here?" A low grunt of acknowledgment was heard.

Hyde glanced around the room, searching for Forman, Donna, and Kelso. He felt alone, and awkward; he was the only student not talking to someone. As the named grew closer and closer to "Forman", he listened more closely, to see if that would help him find his friend. And there were now too many red headed girls, so he couldn't easily find Donna; though she always dressed differently than most girls.

"Eric Forman?"

"Present." Hyde tilted his body to the right as he looked towards the front of the classroom. At once he saw his scrawny friend; seated in the second row of desks. Figures. Hyde smiled a tad bit when realizing he wouldn't be going through this torture of home room alone, at least today. Now he had to pay attention for his own name, which would be coming up soon, as Mr. Plant read through the few names that had G's and H's before 'Hyde'. He was a little glad he had a different last name than a common one; he wouldn't want to be called 'Alberts' or 'Smith', those weren't like first names. But Hyde, that could definitely pass as a first name.

"Steven Hyde?" he perked when finally hearing his name. He watched as Eric did a glance around, and he chuckled softly. "Steven Hyde?" Mr. Plant repeated, also looking around the room for him.

"He's probably locked up," someone joked, and quiet laughs from a small group of people rang in his ears and he roled his eyes.

"Unfortunately present," he barked gruffly, head lowered as he continued doodling; now it was a cartoon him punching off a lettered-jacket wearing football player's head. A few people turned when hearing his gravelly voice, and soft whispers from girls filled the room; but he didn't care what they were saying about his scruffy, poor ass.

"Carly Jacobs?" Hyde wrinkled his nose and continued on with his drawing, as he realized that this day would only go downhill from here.

* * *

"Hyde?" He turned his head to the speaker, four hours later as he tossed his books into his locker. He was actually excited for the next class; Mechanics and Wood Shop, so he wanted to get there a little closer to on time. And then after that class was lunch... he could finally find his friends.

"Hey Forman," he mumbled, smirking down at the now shorter boy. That was a first.

"How the hell did you get taller than me?" Hyde shrugged at Eric's question and chuckled, shutting his green locker. Stupid green and white Viking colors... they made him sick.

"Time, I s'pose. Hey, you got lunch after 5th hour, right?" After Eric nodded, he smirked, "that cool, I'll catch you then, man." As he watched Eric bolt for his next class, he laughed softly at the boy who was so afraid of being late. Hyde walked from his locker to the back door sof the school. His next class was in the building over, it was nice to get out of the cramped main building for awhile. The late August mid-morning was humid and hot, sadly the rooms out here would be hotter as well.

He opened the door to the shop room just as the bell rang. Instantly his nose was full of the strong scent of oil, gasoline, paint, and burning rubber. As well as sawdust, polyurethane, and wood... thankfully he had a strong immunity to such fumes and he enjoyed them, too.

"Nice of you to join us so early," His teacher, Mr. Duvall snapped, Hyde didn't say anything as he sat at the back table. "No!" Hyde tilted his head, confused. "Up to the front, next to Ms. Burkart." Wait. Who?

Hyde nearly choked on his spit when hearing the name. _Jackie _was taking this class? Wasn't she too young? Wasn't she... a _she_? Dammit! "NOW!"

"But-"

"No, get your lazy-"

"Fat ass up here now, yeah, I hear that all the time," Hyde growled, making the class snicker. Before sitting next to the silent, doodling girl, he stared right into Mr. Duvall's eyes, his cold, angry gaze almost deadly. He slammed his books down on the table next to Jackie making the young girl jump. She glanced up at him, then gawked when realizing who was now sitting next to her.

"Hyde?" She squeaked, he roleld his eyes then glanced at her doodle. _'Mrs. Jackie Kelso' _was written all over her light purple notebook, with drawn hearts circling the name as well as pink, lacy heart stickers. Hyde looked away in disgust and sighed angrily, then pulled out his own notebook, now covered with drawings from the past classes that he got bored in today. Some were funny, others like from a horror movie. he continued on the small brain, with attached, blood shot eyes.

"That's disgusting," she whispered, watching as he shaded in the strings connecting the eyes to the brain.

"So is that," he momentarily pointed towards her notebook, then continued on with his drawing.

She was silent ('thankfully,' Hyde thought) as Mr. Duvall explained the class and clas rules. Of course, he didn't pay attention, he never did. But what she said next made him want to either punch her, or himself.

"You like Donna?" Hyde tensed at Jackie's question, then slowly turned his face up, eyes livid, although she couldn't see them.

"No," he grumbled flatly; it sounded convincing, at least.

"Then why do you have that?" he watched as her small, darkly tanned hand reached over his notebook, then her index finger pointed to the top left corner of his notebook. He had written SH+DP in very tiny letters, in 2nd hour English. He was missing her, and it was her favorite class. In fact, he hadn't seen her all day. Hopefully, she'd be at lunch.

"Because... it's... not initials. SH, study hall. DP is... dutchie party... need I say more?" Jackie rolled her eyes and shook her head, now taking notes as she listened to Mr. Duvall. Hyde chuckled and glanced at her, hoping she bought it.

"You like Donna," she whispered softly, so only he heard her. She glanced up at him and smiled smugly, he felt his cheeks heat as anger boiled in his stomach. "And you don't have anything to worry about, Hyde," she added, just as quietly. The bell rang just as she finished speaking, and before he had time to respond, she scampered out of the classroom. Hyde shook his head in disbelief, and stormed out of the room.

* * *

"Holy shit, Hyde?" He grinned at Kelso's outburst. The taller of the two ran up to him and squeezed him in a hug. Normally, Hyde would have frogged him, but he didn't mind so much today. He had to face it; he missed his friends. "You were right, Eric!" Hyde raised his eyebrows, then shrugged. Yeah, he changed over summer, but it was sort of odd that his guy friends were the ones noticing. Then again, Donna wasn't with them. Speaking of...

"Hey, Forman, what's the deal with Donna, man?" Hyde asked casually as they walked down the halls to the cafeteria. Eric did a weird twitch and glanced around wildly.

"What? I don't like her, man, come on! She's... she's Donna, man!" Hyde rolled his eyes, the minimal good mood he did have was disappearing quickly. Forman so liked Donna, and she liked him, and it sickened him. Not to mention they were headed to the cafeteria; where he may be forced to deal with Edna.

"No, man, I meant, she wasn't in homeroom, and I haven't seen her at all. Where is she?" Hyde asked, catching Kelso's spreading grin. Eric laughed nervously as he shook his head, then nodded, waving his hand in front of him.

"Right, right," he said in between chuckles, "She's sick or something... she should be here tomorrow though," he mumbled, cheeks red.

"I knew it!" Kelso cried, poking Eric, "you like Donna, man!" he added, then began to laugh. Eric turned beet red, and clenched his fists. He wasn't going to hit anyone though, Hyde knew that.

"I do not! Donna's like... my best friend, I don't like her!" Hyde scoffed and walked in front with an angry air around him. He needed to get away from Eric and Kelso's stupid bicker.

"You so do!"

"I do not!"

"Do to!"

"Do not!"

"Do to!"

"DO not!"

"Do t-"

"Fellow Americans, please help me?" Hyde paused, raising his head. That wasn't part of the argument. He turned his head left and right, confused at where the muffled voice came from. He felt Kelso bump into his back, and the older boy stumbled backwards, confused.

"What was that?" He asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders, and pressed his index finger to his lips. His two friends were silent as they listened carefully for the distant voice.

"Somebody, please help me?" Hyde stepped closer to the door, the voice sounded like it was coming from inside. Turning around he saw his friends pale faced and wide eyed, afraid of what was in the door. 'Pathetic,' he thought, opening the door. Hyde took a step back when he saw feet dangling from above the door, but regained composure when he saw it was just some kid hanging from the coat hanger. Kelso shrieked when the stranger made eye contact with him and Hyde sighed, eyebrows narrowing, his confusion growing as he dropped a dodgeball.

'Coincidence, it's the gym closet,' Hyde thought.

"Oh, thank you," the odd boy cried happily, voice heavy with what sounded like a Hispanic accent. But he wasn't exactly sure.

"Uh... what are you doing up there?" Hyde asked curiously, stepping closer to the hanging stranger.

"The football players, they asked me if I wanted to hang out... I should have said no," he whimpered defeatedly, bowing his head in embarrassment. Hyde grimaced, stomach twisting as this kid spoke. Yeah, he dealt with them before, but he had the guts to defend himself... and turned out a lot worse than him. But why had they done it? He wasn't going to ask, but he would help him.

Hyde watched as Kelso lifted the red rubber ball and aimed it at the teen's stomach.

"Kelso what are you doing, man?" he asked, annoyed with his friends already. They didn't give a fuck about what happened to this kid, or it didn't seem like it at least. And Eric should be more helpful, he knew exactly what this was like... Hyde found him getting beaten up multiple times and saved his scrawny ass each and every time. Hell, he's saved them all... even Jackie.

Hyde took the ball from Kelso and threw it at him. When the older boy let out an angry gasp, Hyde shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"How do you like it? Moron," he growled, then walked to the door. Holding the kid by the waist, he lifted him off of the hanger and onto the floor. Turning to the stranger, he smiled and patted his shoulder. "Sorry, man, next time they start to pick on you, come and find me, all right?" he shook his hand and backed away once more when he opened his arms for a hug.

"You are my new best friend," he chirped, Hyde laughed weakly and nodded slolwy.

"Uh-huh... I'll uh see you around," Hyde followed after Eric and Kelso, but stopped when hearing footsteps behind him. The foreign kid was following him. He quickened his pace, only to hear the same speed of footing behind him. Where was Donna when he needed her? Taking a deep breath, Hyde turned around slowly. Holding out his hand again, he mumbled, "I'm Hyde, these are my two friends..." That's what she would have done.

"I'm Kelso," he heard him introduce, and felt better about the idea.

"I'm Eric,"

"Oh you're the one who loves Donna," Hyde chuckled and patted his shoulder once again, silently very angry at how he was already known as that by a complete stranger.

"What's your name?" Hyde asked, hoping to switch the subject, and quickly. His face brightened and opened his mouth to say his name, but as he did, the lunch bell went off, yet the three didn't move as the foreign kid continued with his long, complicated name. WHen the bell went off, he finished speaking, Hyde just gawked at him.

"Uh... I'm not gonna remember that," he mumbled, shaking his head in disbelief. The four continued to the cafeteria.

"I know! Let's call him captain poo face!" Hyde frogged Kelso and shook his head.

"Shut up, you moron, it's gotta be something suave, silky..." he trailed off, thinking.

"Fernando?" Eric suggested, Kelso burst out laughing while Hyde just gave him a look.

"I don't think that's sikly," the new member of the group said. The three of them sat down at their lunch table, Eric with his sack lunch, Hyde with a bottle of juice. As hungry as he was, he wasn't going to eat anything his mom prepared. Kelso was in line for a tray; Hyde automatically knew he'd get sick, just like he always did. He had seen how his mom made the food, and tried to warn all of his friends; even after being sick for a week, Kelso never got the hint.

"So, why are you here?" Hyde asked, curious about this weird named character.

"Well, at my old schol, they had this program for Advanced English speakers. See, I am from another country, so I was nominated and sent off for the Foreign Exchange Student program. The only place for me was here... I do not know why." Forman nodded, intrigued with his story, while the gears in Hyde's mind were whirring on overdrive. "I am so happy to be here."

"That's cool though, where are you from?" Hyde heard Eric ask. But he figured out his nickname. Grinning, he turned to the two and they looked at him curiously, wondering why he was so happy.

"I got it!" Hyde exclaimed, "Fez!" Eric and the kid nodded, with enlightened smiled.

"Oh, it is perfect," Fez whimpered, looking so happy. Hyde just shrugged his shoulders, proud of his master mind.

"Hello, Kelso, my name is... Fez!"

"All right! Sweet name, man!" Hyde grinned and turned to look at his friends. All of a sudden, they all burst out laughing, unaware of what was so funny.

* * *

"You sure we can go?" Hyde asked Eric as the four walked across the street to Donna's house. "Isn't she sick?"

"Just something about cramps and too miserable to go," Hyde nodded slowly and chuckled, knowing what Donna was... sick with. He began to wonder if Eric knew, or if Kelso and Fez got it either. Probably not, Hyde figured as he hopped up two steps at a time, then knocked on the door.

He felt nervous, which was really stupid. She hadn't seen him in a month, so what would she think about how he looked? Would she say anything? It was weird now that he realized he hadn't seen her in a month... would she look different as well?

"Hi Eric, Steven, Michael, and... new boy." Hyde glanced down and smiled at Donna's younger sister, Tiny.

"Hey Tina, is Donna home?" Hyde asked, changing his voice a little. When the twelve year old nodded, he smiled. "Can we go see her? We just want to introduce her to our new friend, Fez."

"That's fine, but only until Daddy gets home," The blonde haired girl said.

"All right, cool, thanks Tiny," Hyde mumbled, following the girl in. He knew Eric was glaring daggers at him, but what did it matter? He was usually the leader, and Hyde needed to make a good impression on her family. Especially if he wanted to get anywhere with Donna... which he hoped he would.

"You'll like Donna, she's really cool," Hyde told Fez as the four boys pounded up the stairs.

"We've all known her since kindergarten, except me... I've been her neighbor since before..." Eric chimed, Hyde turned around and gave him an incredulous look.

"Actually, Eric, weren't you nine when she moved next d-" Hyde opened the door as Kelso continued to speak, without knocking. And he, Eric, and Fez all caught a very good look at her bare shirtless, braless body. Hyde's jaw dropped, eyes widened, absolutely speechless.

"Hyde! Oh my God!"

"Donna... I... sorry!" He barely got out.

"SHUT THE DOOR!" Quickly he slammed the door closed, all three of the were white faced and google eyed. Hyde's mind was mush and his breathing picked up.

"I like her!" Fez chirped.

"What? Come on! I didn't get to see!" Kelso cried, shoving Hyde out of the way as he opened the door. Already dizzy, Hyde toppled over, so shocked at what he had seen. Donna's breasts...

_'Fuck,'_ he cursed to himself, _'fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck fuuuuck.'_ So many days and nights he spent fantasizing about that very same body aprt. Ever since they all went skinny dipping; when in truth he saw and felt more than just her chest. Accidentally, of course. But ever since then, she had changed, like he had, and grown... especially her upper area. He spent his nights imagining what her skin would feel like under him, what her lips would taste like as he kissed her like crazy. How her butt would feel as he squeezed it during foreplay. How she felt, moved against him during... during... 'fuck.' he thought, hitting the back of his head against the wall.

"Kelso, get out!" Hyde jumped back to reality, breath shaky, body warm and clammy, mind fuzzy. And not to mention an all too familiar tightness in his jeans that he knew wouldn't go away on its own.

Donna walked out, face flushed in embarrassment. The t-shirt was now covering her big, bouncy, perky-

"Hyde, are you okay?" he heard her calm voice ask, as she knelt beside him. His breathing hitched in his throat and he bit back his bottom lip.

_'Oh no, go away Donna, go away... oh shit I am so fucked. Think bad thoughts. Gross thoughts. Edna, Donna... Donna... Donna's on her period!'_

"Damn," he mumbled, jerking away from her gentle touch on his arm. "Donna... d-don't... don't touch me! I... gotta go! Forman... Fez, Donna- sorry bye!" He squeaked, bolting up as the tightness only got tighter. He hoped they couln't tell. He left his friends watching in pure awe as he fled the scene, wondering what the hell happened to their friend.

Fez went over to Donna and hugged her tight, resting his head on her chest. She pushed him away and he laughed nervously.

"Hello, Ms. Donna, I am Fez. And I love your ta-tas."


	29. Use Somebody

**_Author's Note: Two more chapters! Woo! This one might get a little graphic, but I dunno... I don't really write smut, so if there's anything it will be to a definite minimum because to be honest, smut sorta freaks me out :D. But there will be some T+ nature. Hope you enjoy this one! _**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**

* * *

_I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see; painted faces, fill the places I cant reach. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you, and all you know, and how you speak. Countless lovers under cover of the street. You know that I could use somebody. Someone like you. Off in the night, while you live it up, I'm off to sleep. Waging wars to shape the poet and the beat; I hope it's gonna make you notice someone like me. I'm ready now, I'm ready. Someone like you, somebody. Someone like you, somebody. I've been roaming around, always looking down at all I see..._

Hyde walked around the Forman house aimlessly as he waited for his friends to finish getting ready. How they got him into going to this stupid dance, he haad no idea... home coming was not for him though. It was a stupid celebration for the football team and being back in school. He wasn't going to dance, so they shouldn't have even asked him to go. This was absolutely crazy.

But there he was, staring at himself in the bathroom mirror; all of the guys were dressing super fancy, and he didn't want to be the odd one out. So he used a bit of the money from his grandparents to buy a cheap, but nice tuxedo. He felt stupid and over dressed for a stupid dance, but he had seen Fez, Kelso, and Forman, they looked spiffier than he did.

Before anyone found him and made fun of him for examining his outfit, he left the bathroom and walked down the hall. Jackie and Donna were getting ready in Mr. and Mrs. Forman's bedroom, and as he walked by, heard them talking. He always did wonder what girls talked about, and his curiosity got the best of him. Pressing his ear to the door, he heard Jackie squeal loudly.

"Oh, Donna, you look so pretty! For a lumberjack..."

"Thanks," She grumbled sarcastically, "I'm so confused though... they both asked me and I don't want to hurt either of them." Hyde tilted his head in confusion.

"I'm surprised that two boys are actually secretly fighting over you," Jackie said.

"They're not fighting over me, neither of them like me like that."

"Well... how do you know? I've talked to one of them..." Hyde gritted his teeth; he hated Mr. Duvall for putting him next to Jackie in shop.

"Oh my gosh, you have study hall with Eric... has he said anything about me?"

"A little..." Jackie said hesitantly, Hyde's heart fell and he sudden felt a bit queasy. "But... back to your choice... who do you like? Eric or Hyde?"

"That's easy, Eric. But Hyde is like my best friend, and I don't want to hurt him." He heard Jackie sigh softly and fumble with something.

"Who are you closer with?"

"Hyde, I can like tell him everything and he won't laugh at me or judge me."

"Have you talked to him about crushes?"

"Well, we've talked about Eric..." Donna mumbled uneasily.

"What does he say about him?" There was a short pause, then Donna sighed heavily.

"Last time we talked he said, 'go for what you feel is right. Listen to your heart and don't be afraid to fess up. You may never have the chance to tell the people who mean the most to you what you want to tell them,'" Jackie huffed and he heard the bed squeak.

"Why doesn't he listen to his own advice?" Jackie snapped.

"Huh?" Donna asked, confused.

"Nothing... I guess you sould do what he says... listen toy our heart;who do you want to go with?"

"I... don't know," Donna whined, Hyde sighed with relief.

"Has Eric tried to get you to notice him?"

"Not really... we just act like friends, like the usual, we hang out, and it's just normal."

"Hmm... what about Hyde?"

"I don't know, he's so freakin' hard to read, you know?"

"I know!"

"He always listens when I need him though, he never talks. He's always there for me and I can tell him so much... we've talked about everything."

"Like?"

"From school and home life, to girl and guy stuff... like puberty and growing up. And it's weird, because I never feel awkward about it. Because we're all... you know, going through sort of the same things, and he's just... so calming. It's bizarre. And I'd never be able to talk to Eric about that, those two are so different..."

"Uh huh,"

"Like... Eric doesn't even have leg hair, and has never shaved." Both of the girls began to giggle at Donna's information, and Hyde rolled his eyes, a small smile on his face.

"Oh my gosh, how do you know?"

"Hyde, gym class... I guess he freaked out on Hyde when his razor fell out of his bag."

"That's so funny!" Jackie squeaked between laughter. "Hyde's always been like that though, hasn't he? Like... guy-er and tougher than them all. Even Michael."

"Jackie... Kelso is so girly, it's not even funny... it's actually really scary."

"So? He's my Michael and I love him! But Hyde changed... a ton." Hyde bit his lip, eyebrows raising as he tuned in closer to this conversation.

"I Know! Did you know he was skinnier than Eric before this summer?"

"Eww... seriously?"

"Yeah, but now he's like... tall... and muscular."

"Mhmm... shop class is really cool with him."

"I think it's cool that you took shop, Jackie... but why? Is he different there than usual?"

"No, we barely talk, but our teacher forced us to sit by each other. So sometimes we talk... but... okay, he's a lot stronger than Michael, you can tell in his arms, and it's actually really hot when he works on like mechanics or just anything." Both of the girls started laughing and he himself tried not to laugh... this was turning very surreal. "But he's poor, and dirty, but the other freshman girls, they like him more than Michael... even though he's poor, it's like... he's the forbidden bad guy."

The forbidden bad guy, huh? Hyde decided it was time for him to step away from the door and leave the girls to their weird, girly gossip. It was weird hearing them talk about him... but he didn't have closure on how Donna felt about him. And what Jackie said really freaked him out. And girls didn't feel that way about him... like Jackie said, he was poor and scruffy, everyone always made fun of him. But if chicks did feel that way, that would be totally wicked.

Hyde walked down the stairs, into the kitchen. Mrs. Forman made them all dinner before the dance, and he was starving. Plates clanked together and something was sizzling on the stove. He hadn't had Mrs. Forman's cooking in such a long time, and the aroma from the food was incredible.

"Oh, Steven!" Mrs. Forman gushed, as she hugged him, "That suit is wonderful, you look so handsome!" as she hugged him tight, he wrapped his arms around her; she was like his mom, and the least he could do was hug her back. Secretly, he liked her hugs, but he'd never tell a soul.

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman," she smiled and patted his arm.

"Ooh, you've gotten strong," he smirked and shrugged his shoulders. "You must be hungry, I made beef stew, and there's mashed potatoes and rolls."

"Sounds great, Mrs. Forman," he mumbled, taking off his sunglasses as she dished up his plate.

Pounding on the basement stairs was heard as she handed Hyde his plate. Kelso, Forman, and Fez probably smelled the food.

"What's cookin', Mrs. Forman?" Kelso asked as he zipped into the kitchen, dressed in a black suit, with a white shirt, and black bow tie. Eric came in next, in basically the same outfit, except a long tie instead of a bow. Fez skipped in and sat next to Hyde, in a brown suit and blue button down shirt, with a blue tie. Hyde glanced at Eric as he sat across from him, shovelling his dinner down. He looked too happy, what if Donna agreed to go with him, instead of Hyde? He felt his jealousy boil, and he clenched his fist.

"I am so excited for this homecoming, I love to dance."

"There's no salsa dancing, Fez." Kelso said, Hyde tilted his head as he took a bite out of his roll. Was that a prejudice remark? He'd punch Kelso for that if it was.

"I do not know how to salsa. Tango is my specialty, as well as free style," Hyde smirked and nodded, liking Fez's style. Things were a lot funnier with the new guy around, and he was pretty cool... though pervy. His biggest mistake had been showing Fez Playpen and Playboy; he hadn't been at school for a week. Hyde shook his head to rid his thoughts of that, and continued on eating. He turned out to act just like Forman; he felt like he hadn't eaten in days as he tasted Mrs. Forman's stew.

"What is this meat, Mrs. Forman?" Fez asked quizically, examining the cubed beef closely, "I thought guinea pig at first, but it tastes much more like-"

"Beef," Eric said, looking a bit sick, "it's... beef." Hyde raised an eyebrow at Fez an dfelt a little nauseous himself at the animal comparison.

"Guinea pig, man?"

"Don't diss it till you try it."

"I don't plan on it," Hyde mumbled, now avoiding the meat in his bowl.

"What are you talking about?" Hyde turned when hearing Jackie's voice, and stared wide eyed at the girls. Jackie was in a short, pink lacy dress, hair very curly and in an updo, with spiral strands around her face. She wore tall high heels that laced up to her calf, they looked like sparkly ballet flats with a stilletto heel. Hyde was shocked at how pretty looked, but when he saw Donna... he was in awe. She wore a very pale yellow, low cut dress that rested just above her knee. It looked absolutely gorgeou son her. She had silver heels that somehow went with her dress, somehow it matched perfectly. She had a touch of makeup and her hair was scrunched back in a messy curly ponytail with strands of hair left out. She looked like an angel.

"Hyde... I need to talk to you," Donna murmured, he noted how she wouldn't look at him, and just knew it wasn't good.

"All right, he mumbled back, bare eyes gazing into hers. The gang was silent as the two had their eyes connected, "I don't feel like getting up though," whatever she had to say she could say in front of their friends, he didn't really care. Donna sighed softly and looked at Jackie, who looked about ready to cry. Hyde was ready for it.

"No... but..." Donna trailed off, then shook her head, "HYde, I'd like to go to homecoming with you, but Eric asked me first. I'm really sorry," Hyde felt his breathing quiver and his heart freeze over. He slowly looked up at Donna and felt so weak, so... disgusting. It was always Forman. Always Eric first for everyone, the one they worried about and looked up to. Never Hyde. He would always be the misunderstood kid, that everyone stayed away from. People could vent and talk to him and use him and not worry about his feelings, because he didn't have any. Donna did it because he was apathetic, it wouldn't hurt him, like it would Eric. But that was a fucking joke; it hurt him so much worse than it would Forman. For reasons none of them would undersatnd, and he'd never let them understand, and he'd never let them know just how bad he wanted to scream and yell at her that she was being stupid, that she lied to his face, he caught her. He'd never let them know just how badly he wanted to walk up to her and hold her hand and kiss her.

He scoffed and looked away, shrugging his shoulders.

"That's cool," he grumbled flatly, trying his hardest to hide his breaking voice. His throat was so tight.

"Wait, you asked Donna to homecoming?" Eric asked, anger rising, "When you knew I was going to?" he accused, he slipped on his sunglasses, unaware that Jackie saw the lone tears escape his eye that he wiped away just a moment after it fell... he had an itch.

"I didn't know you were at the time I asked Forman. But I dont' care, we're all going together anyway. And it was just as friends, like me going with you... or Kelso, or Fez. Or even Jackie. Even though I wouldn't go with you guys and her, I was... just trying to be nice," he was about to lose it right in front of them. "I... I need a smoke." he whispered, then walked nonchalantly out of the room, but wanted so badly to run as far and as fast as possible.

His feet moved lightning fast down the stairs, vision dark and blurry as hot tears stung his eyes. He didn't need to explain himself to Forman, because to be fair, Eric dogged him, and Donna lied. The day after he asked her Eric confided in everyone in the circle that he was going to ask her, the next day, after school. Two days after he did. The lie made it worse, she could have said she didn't want to go with his dirty, poor, ugly self. That she'd rather go with Beaver than him.

Hyde shook with anger, and tried to suppress his tears. Guys didn't cry; especially him. Opening the door to the basement stairs, he sat on the first cement step, shoulders quaking. Damn him... he was never going to be good enough for Donna Pinciotti, or anyone for that matter. So why did he try? Raising his fist, he punched the concrete wall as hard as he could. He cursed as his first uncurled, fingers throbbing, knuckles mangled and red from blood. Hyde leaned his head back and closed his eyes, biting hard on his bottom lip... he needed to calm down.

Finally the tears did stop, and he pulled out his cigarette pack from his pocket, sunglasses on the stair next to him. Instead of a regular cigarette, he pulled out a joint, and lit the end. He sighed with relief as his body began to tingle as he relaxed. With each drag he grew calmer and happier; that's how they'd all want him at the dance, anyway. His hits to the joint grew more frequent and soon he was in oblivion; he didn't give a fuck if he was smoking it outside, no one would care.

"Hyde?" he heard a distant, soft voice call his name. Shaking his head, he glanced up the stairs and began laughing when seeing Jackie. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine, doll," he chirped, smiling goofily at her, then began to laugh once more. "She rolled her eyes and walked away, disgusted with him. Just like himself.

* * *

"Hyde, come on and dance!" Eric cried an hour later at homecoming. Hyde shook his head and continued drinking the punch and munching on the desserts. Yep, he had the munchies... big time.

"I'm good," he grumbled, resting his head on his hand. He was still high, but it had started to slowly wear off, unfortunately.

"Well, watch Fez, he kicks ass!"

"That's cool," he mumbled, turning away as he and Donna went to go dance once more.

It sucked. Just like he knew it would. He was aone while his friends were having fun. His date ditched him and lied straight to his face, and he just wanted to get trashed. He knew Donna wouldn't have fun with him anyway. He was a loser and didn't know how to dance, and she'd rather be with perfect boy. Hyde had enough reasons to be jealous of Forman, who always took everything he got for granted. If he got Donna, he'd only do the same. But if Hyde got her, he'd make sure she was treated with the respect she deserved, and he'd be the happiest guy alive.

"Hey, you're Steven, right?" Hyde glanced up at the short blonde with a very short dress.

"Uh... Hyde, yeah, why?" The girl blushed and sat down next to him. She was cute... but he'd never seen her before in his entire life.

"Well, you're sort of friends with Jackie, and... she's told me a little about you, and you're really cute. And I saw you were alone and..." she began to ramble, and he found it hard to concentrate on her bubbly voice. Probably a stupid cheerleader. And he wasn't cute. "I was wondering if you wanted to dance?"

"Uh, not really..." he paused, waiting for a name. She lowered her head and sighed softly.

"Kendall," he grinned.

"Sorry, not really Kendall... so you got the hots for me, eh? You're cute yourself." He saw the freshman blush madly. "How old are you?"

"Almost fifteen," she squeaked, he shrugged, just a little younger than him. "So... if you don't to dance, do you wanna... make out?" He shrugged his shoulders, eyeing the girl carefully; sluts start young. "And get to know each other a bit more?" she smirked as she said that and he sighed, laughing quietly.

"That... that's a wonderful idea, Kendall," he said, holding her hand. She squeezed his tightly, and he sighed happily; hopefully this would help him forget Donna. She dragged him out of the gymnasium and into the bright halls of the classroom, taking him to the girl's locker room. The two snuck into the room quietly, and as he shut the door, he looked at Kendall. She was so young, but she had to have been just a few months younger than him... he he figured it was all right.

Instantly she jumped on him, legs wrapping around his waist. Hyde was a bit taken aback, but his hands wrapped around her back as she kissed him softly. Kendall took off his glasses and he didn't stop her, it was weird if he wore them when he made out. She did try for frantic kissing, yet he took it slow, always. Hyde heard Kendall whimper as he gently sucked on her bottom lip before pressing his tongue to her lips. She smiled against his, and parted her mouth, so he could explore this new area.

He had gotten more action since Amy, so he knew more stuff and how to pace himself. Kendall removed his black jacket and her fingers rushed to unbutton his black long sleeved shirt.

"Shh..." he whispered softly, hands running slowly through her blonde hair down her arms, and to her sides. The main reason he took things slow was because it drove girls insane. And he liked being in control.

Hyde pressed his lips softly against her jaw line, she gasped at the touch, and dug her nails in his back. His breath hitched at that, and felt his pants grow suddenly too tight... that was his weakness, and she accidentally figured it out.

"You like that?" she whispered, placing her fingertips on his shoulder blades. "Just imagine it, you and me, naked, on the floor, my nails running deep into your skin." His heart skipped as she began to nibble on his ear, then gently scratch down his back again. "Yeah, you like that."

"You are evil," he hissed then dove his mouth on her neck, sucking her soft skin. His hands ran up her thighs, knee pressed between her legs as he pinned her against the wall.

"St-Steven," she whimpered, her hands finishing her job of unbuttoning his shirt, and this time, he didn't care. Her hands caressed his bare sides, yet his shirt was still on his arms, and she felt his abs, and grinned. "Just how I imagined you," he grinned, kissing her once more as he worked on unzipping her dress.

"Good," he growled huskily, hands running down her exposed back. He grinded against her and she moaned softly, eyes closed. Kendal slowly dug her nails into his skin and he groaned lowly with lust, almost losing his mind.

As they continued to kiss and touch, he had a feeling things might get more than what they had both imagined, but he wouldn't allow himself to go too far, if he didn't have protection... which was at home, under his mattress. Maybe she was already a skank and always carried some around, or at least he hoped that was the case.

"I always wanted to do it in here," she mumbled, as she fumbled with his belt buckle. She smiled up at him and he only smirked as he laid her down on the bench.

"I think that just might be happening, babe," he murmured softly, lying on top of her. She giggled and he kissed her delicately, while she ran her hand through his hair. As his hand travelled to her secret areas, he felt her writhe under him, her eyes turned hazy with lust, and her cheeks lightly pink. Her chest heaved as she breathed heavily, and she pulled him down on top of her. He stifled a moan as she bit his neck, then circled her tongue around the mark, her mouth sucking on his collarbone. "Evil," he whispered again, his heart pounding furiously. "Do... do you have...?" he trailed off, panting as he spoke. She nodded and looked up, towards the lockers.

"In there," Kendall spoke softly, pointing to the second one. he didn't want to give up, and tested his arm's length, but of course he'd have to walk over to the stupid locker. He should have thought of it before hand... but he didn't know things would get this far.

"Have you done it before?" He asked her, his hands slowly taking off her panties. She nodded and bit her lip, fingers grazing over his shoulder blades... the gentleness felt nice.

"You?" He nodded and pressed his mouth to hers, kissing her passionately as she raised her foot to pull down his boxers.

_'Cheerleaders,'_ he thought and smirked, before kissing her once more.

Well, they were good for something.

* * *

About an hour later, Hyde walked into the gymnasium, flustered, and without Kendall. They had decided she should go first, so it didn't seem so obvious. Hyde flattened his black shirt and slipped his glasses on, then walked in, jacket draped on his arm. Once he was at the table he had been sitting at before the cute blonde came up to him, he hung his overcoat on the chair and pocketed his fists. He grinned whens eeing his glass of punch untouched, and took a sip from the red drink.

He should have known the little niner would go and tell all her cheerleader, social bitch friends.

Hyde flinched when feelig a violent punch on his arm, he whipped around, ready to fight back, when he saw little Jackie.

"Come on," She growled angrily, dragging him by the arm out into the hall. In the light, he could see she was a bit sweaty and red herself, but that was because she was dancing. "What did you do to Kendall?" She asked him bitterly, Hyde scoffed and shrugged his shouldrs.

"Why?" He asked gruffly, narrowing his eyes, "it was her idea." Jackie rolled her eyes.

"Because... did you have sex with her?" Jackie asked, Hyde shrugged once more.

"Why are you so concerned?"

"Well first, she was a virgin. And I know you don't like being in the middle of gossip. But she's going to tell all of her friends, everything. I can promise you that." Hyde paled, as shock filled his system.

"Wait, wait... she was a _virgin_?" he whispered loudly, and he sighed, running his hand through his hair angrily.

"Have you ever done it with a virgin?" Hyde shook his head, "were _you _a virgin?"

"What do you think?" He asked her, Jackie nodded and he scoffed, "Trust me, doll, I wish I had been." he murmured. And meant it.

"What do you mean?" Jackie questioned him, Hyde rolled his eyes and leaned against the wall, not about to answer her stupid questions.

"You actually think I'm talking to _you _about my sex life?" Jackie shrugged, "you're a real laugh,"

"I'll get it out of you," she growled, then smirked at him. He raised his eyebrows and shook his head.

"Whatever," he mumbled, walking angrily back into the gym.

* * *

"My legs are killing me," kelso whined later that night, back in the Forman's basement. Jackie kissed his cheek and rubbed his knees, hoping it would help relieve the pain.

"Poor baby," she cooed, nuzzling her head on his chest.

"You silly Americans and your weird dancing," Fez started, then his smile turned to an evil glare, "You ruined the sacred Limbo de Juevo," Hyde snickered at that and Eric burst out laughing as well.

"The limbo of balls?" He asked, grinning as he tossed a piece of popcorn into his mouth. Fez laughed heartily, then abruptly stopped, glaring at Hyde.

"No, you idiot. It's my country's holy dance for fertility... of the crops and cattle." Hyde nodded slowly, and looked away from Fez, a bit weirded out by his country's concepts; but he handed him the bowl of popcorn, anyway.

"I'm so bored," Eric groaned, staring at the telivision, "there's nothing on."

"We could... play a game?" Donna suggested.

"7 Minutes in Heaven!" Kelso cried, Jackie wrinkled her nose as she shook her head.

"The only girl you're kissing is me, Michael," she hissed, Kelso laughed nervously, and Hyde eyed him.

"Who said he'd kiss a girl?" Hyde coughed loudly and scooted farther from Fez, even more freaked out than before.

"Why don't we play truth or dare!" Jackie chirped, Hyde rolled his eyes and tilted his head back on his chair. Not this game again...

"What is truth or dare?" Fez asked; Hyde face palmed, not because he didn't know the game but now they had to-

"We'll show you! Just watch, you'll catch on," Jackie reassured Fez, then cleared her throat. "Eric, truth or dare?"

"Dare," Hyde was surprised at his answer.

"I dare you to... go upstairs and tell Laurie that you're gay," Hyde beamed, and glanced at Eric, seeing his horrified face.

"But-" Eric stopped talking when Jackie glared venomously at him. "Fine... but first... Kelso, truth or dare?"

"Dare!"

"Run around the block screaming; with no pants." Kelso grinned and ran out of the basement, de-pantsing himself as he ran. Eric took a deep breath and made the sign of the cross before bolting up the stairs, ready to face his doom. Hyde was now left alone with Fez, Jackie, and Donna; and he felt awkward.

"Did you have fun tonight?" He asked them all nonchalantly, trying to break the awkward silence. Jackie nodded, and Donna shrugged.

"Yeah, I was going to ask you to dance, but..." she mumbled, Hyde rolled his eyes.

"It's better that you didn't... Eric would be pissed," Hyde replied, twiddling his thumbs.

"I guess... did you have fun with that girl?" HYde glanced at Jackie, who was eyeing him. She didn't tell Donna, did she?

"Yep, it was cool," he said, Jackie rolled her eyes at his simple reply.

"Hyde... I don't want this to hurt our friendship, you've known I've liked Eric since I was ten... I'm sorry if I hurt you."

"You didn't hurt me, it's okay kid, we were just gonna go as friends anyway. So yeah, we're cool." No, he wasn't. Everything was not okay, she had hurt him so bad. But at least he had the sun glasses. Donna didn't need to know she hurt him... he wasn't weak. And he only wanted her happy.

"So the plot thickens... this is a very interesting game," Fez chirped happily, he had completely forgotten he was there.

"Fez, the game is paused until Kelso gets back," Donna told him, laughing as she spoke. Hyde yanwed and set his feet up on the table.

"Oh, Hyde!" Jackie said suddenly, "you're in luck; Kendall said you were 'amazing and perfect'." He only nodded, not really caring about what she thought. Donna tilted her head, confused; Hyde only shook his head, not wanting to go into it.

"Good to know," he murmured, closing his eyes.

"Did it!" Kelso cried, making Hyde jump. The older boy panted as he slammed the door. "There was a dog, and he bit my butt, but then he was cute, so it was okay," He pulled on his gray sweat pants and sat down next to Jackie. "Jackie, truth or dare?" She thought awhile, then perked up.

"Dare," she said, cuddling into Kelso's side.

"I dare you to grope Donna's boobs for five seconds," Jackie gasped, while Donna scrunched her face. Hyde burst out laughing at both their reactions, and the dare itself... they've had to do this before, and it was funnier then; when they were skinny dipping. Jackie whimpered, looking either about ready to throw up, or to cry, at her boyfriend's dare, as she reached over to Donna's chest. After five seconds, she jerked her hands away and shook them.

"That was awful!" she half sobbed, but wasn't crying. Donna looked rather sick, and wrapped her arms across her chest, probably feeling very violated.

"You give me needs, you bastards!" Fez whined, Hyde chuckled at the new gang member's comment and rolled his eyes. It wasn't anything awesome, so it didn't bother him any.

"Guys, I'm back!" Eric cried, stomping down the stairs, "Thanks to you, I had to have a conversation with Red about being a dumbass, my mom about AIDs, and Laurie said she figured I was,"

"Nice!" Hyde choked between his chortles, everyone else had started to crack up, so he didn't feel bad. Only that would happen to Eric.

"So, it's my turn for truth or dare?" Jackie asked, everyone nodded. "Hyde... truth or dare?" He scowled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Truth," he grumbled, feeling very apathetic, he only hoped she didn't ask anything about his feelings towards Donna. Or about what he did with Kendall. Anything but that.

"Have you lost your virginity? If so, when and with who?" Hyde glowered at her and she smiled smugly... he wondered why she actually cared so much about that bit of information about him. But it wasn't about Donna, at least. Everyone looked at him, waiting to hear his answer; they all looked curious, or intrigued.

"Why do you care so much about that?" he asked defensively. Yeah, he'd openly say he lost it... but the age and with who was something he didn't want to say.

"Just curious," Jackie replied casually, then snuggled in to Kelso's side. Hyde sighed softly and shook his head.

"Yeah, I've done it, and with a chick named Amy." Kelso scoffed, and Hyde glanced up at his friend. His cheeks felt like they were on fire.

"Yeah right, Hyde, who would wanna do it with you?" Jackie glanced at him, and saw he looked livid. Hyde clenched his fists and looked up at the ceiling, trying to calm himself down.

"I was thirteen, you moron. Yeah, man, I wanted to be cool and have sex on my birthday, so I said to this chick I used to know, 'I'm a teen, let's fuck,' and we did." Hyde growled, everyone was silent.

"Really?"

"NO, KELSO! It was... she... for... nevermind. Uh, Fez, truth or dare?" Everyone was too quiet for his liking, thinking about what Hyde had told them. After Freshman health class, what he went through could have been considered rape. But he didn't think of it like that, just a case of a horny girl and a naive boy. He wasn't really traumatized by it, unlike... Hyde shook his head and shivered, waiting for Fez's answer.

"Truth," he exclaimed with a happy smile.

"Where the hell are you from, man?"

"It is a small island in the Atlantic ocean, it is in the middle of Africa and the upper South America, but close to Europe as well. No one knows where it is."

"The Bermuda triangle?" Kelso suggested.

"Does it have a name?" Hyde asked, Fez smirked.

"That was not the question," Hyde nodded slowly, he was right after all. "Ooh! Truth or dare... Donna!"

"...Dare..." Donna responded drowsily.

"Make out with Jackie with tongue, for two minutes."

"I'm taken!"

"Anyone, but Jackie," Hyde grimaced, knowing that he was going to choose Eric, since they went to homecoming together. Besides he was feeling put off by his truth, thoughts that he never wanted to remember clouded his mind, and he felt almost like he wanted to throw up. No matter what, he wasn't telling anyone. And, Donna lied to him.

"Fine," Fez mumbled sadly, "Then make out with tongue, for two minutes, with... hold on," Fez watched as eyes fliked back and for between Eric and himself, not Kelso because he was with Jackie, as he whispered 'eeny, meeny miney, moe.' Finally, his eyes stopped at Eric, and he grinned. "Make out with Hyde!"

He felt rather sick when hearing his name. Of all the times he wished he could make out with Donna, now just had to be that time.

"Why didn't you say yourself?" Hyde asked, Jackie just gazed at him, ad he felt uncomfortable. Eric was silent, not really looking upset; he didn't have a right to be, he stole his date!

Donna stood up and so did he, thankfully he was taller than her by a good four inches. He was just as nervous as her, and he hoped this wasn't her first kiss. He turned back to his friends, who were all watching, and then looked down at Donna. "Are you sure about this?" he asked her cautiously, she nodded slowly and he sighed.

Placing a hand on her cheek, Hyde slowly leaned in, lips already swollen from earlier with Kendall. Donna gently kissed him; she tasted like peppermint. Hyde parted his mouth slowly, his lips still moving so delicately against hers, and he felt her mouth open just a little as well. Their tongues touched, and still moving his lips against hers, he circled his tongue around hers. Very gently, he sucked on her lower lip, and she whimpered softly. His heart was fluttering and he deepened the kiss; when was this going to end...? He was going to take it to far, he just knew it. He didn't want it to be frantic and careless, he wanted to show her the softer side of him. The side he wanted her to love him for. His kissing was romantic and passionate, and he had a feeling she could tell. He shivered as her hand ran through his hair.

"And... time!" Kelso cried, Hyde began to pull away from Donna, but before their lips were completely disconnected, gave her one last lingering kiss, his eyes staring deep into hers.

And she kissed back.

**_AN: Reminder: This is not going to be D/H, so don't worry. Like I've said, Hyde liked her... and for awhile it will revolve around him and his feelings towards her. And besides, that was a dare. So ha! But yeah, don't worry, no more kissing for them until Ski Trip :P._**


	30. Knowing That You've Already Arrived

**_Author's Note: I am so loving all of your reviews! Thank you so much for all of the support, you all are so, so incredibly amazing. And AZONintendo really shocked me with that review, but it made my month, I promise... I mean, best 70's fan fic? That's like... holy shit. If you were here I'd give you a hug :D. Thank you, thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you! _**

**_Big news that is completely irrelevant to the story, but isn't irrelevance nice? I have a youtube channel and I have a crappy camera, it's about... three years old and has AWFUL sound quality and light quality... but oh well! I posted a cover of Paint It Black and I'd appreciate it if you all checked it out... and maybe the other ones if I decide to post them... it's sort of iffy because I'm sorta sick right now, and I wouldn't listen to the last bit because there's a really high note that I can't make right now, that I attempted, and when reviewing the recording it like... scared me (okay, it wasn't that bad, but I'm really hard on myself). I'm going to be posting more on there soon... but I'd just like to see what you guys think, maybe? The link will be in reviews section... soon. Don't be too harsh though, same with the reviews on my story. :D  
_**

**_Okay, I'm like... really hyper right now, or in just a really good mood, so I'm going to shut up._**

**_Disclaimer: These chapters are dark. Very, very dark. And fast paced, and these next two chapters have more other character's ish point of views rather than just Hydes. And for a certain reviewer: No Red yet. In three chapters he will appear, I promise! _**

_**This one is actually shorter too, I just realized. Hope you don't mind.**_

**_Love you all!_**

**_-Angie_**

**_

* * *

_**

_This one doesn't try like the others, take his vital signs and medicate him. This one's heart won't die like the others; throw him in the hole and sedate him. As I enter this former sanctuary, my bones don't feel like they felt when I knew they were in my own skin. Give me substance, give me something to make me feel less real, I want to lose all concentration. I'd be a liar if I said I was telling the truth half the time. I keep it locked inside, under a pile of smiles and deceit. I will thrive, thrive, I will die an honest man..._

"Happy Valentines Day, Hyde!" He glanced up and smiled weakly at Jackie. Because they shared shop class together he was nice to her. But after this year, she'd just be an annoying bitch like she used to be.

"Uh, yeah..." He mumbled darkly... it had been seven years to the day that Chris had been dead. Of course Jackie didn't know that, wouldn't remember she ran into him and his brother that night... Hyde grimaced and turned back to his project.

"Do you have plans? I'm going out to eat with Michael," Hyde shook his head, gluing together the bottom shelf of the dresser he had made. It was big enough to hold clothes, and that's why he made it.

"Just going through a box," he mumbled, holding the iron handles he had welded in the middle of the drawer. Picking up the electric drill, he drove the screw straight through the holy he had made at the end of the handle.

"Why?"

"You ask too many questions, Jackie," he growled, the drill once more whirring to life as the small screw went in the polished mahogany wood. After this, he'd have to sand the edges again, and repolish around the handle.

Tonight he planned on visiting Chris's grave. He hadn't been there since the funeral, and he felt that it was time for a visit. He was taking his box from his grandparent's house up with him; in a way they would be able to look at the belongings together.

"Well, who else am I going to talk to? Everyone else here is scary," Hyde raised an eyebrow at her, before holding up the polyurethane brush.

"Uh... boo," he grumbled, smirking. Jackie rolled her eyes and scoffed, punching his arm lightly. He winced as her fist clashed against a large bruise on his upper arm, and her eyes widened when seeing his pained face.

"Oh my gosh, I didn't know I punched you that-"

"You didn't punch hard, I have a bruise," he interrupted, rolling up his t-shirt sleeve, showing her the black and blue skin. Jackie made a disgusted face and he rolled his eyes. "Don't you have a project to work on?" He asked, hoping that would get the 14 year old away from him quickly. Stupid goody two shoes had to have all of her homework done before she could have fun... stupid. Yet to his surprise, the raven haired girl just shrugged her shoulders and continued to watch him as he worked, which did creep him out a bit.

"I finished my jewelry box last week, I even had the chance to paint it pink! Do you want to-"

"No, but I do want you to go away and leave me alone," HYde grumbled, dipping the brush in the polish once more. Jackie huffed and glared at him.

"Well, I won't," Hyde grunted in response after her comment, delicately painting over the edges where he had drilled. "Are you moving or something?" Hyde shook his head, slowly trailing the brush down the wooden dresser he was making... it had to be perfect. He couldn't wait for the next project though; building a go cart. It would be wicked.

"It's my brother's," Hyde responded softly, Jackie tilted her head, he didn't notice her confused expression as he wiped the brush on his old, frayed jeans.

"Oh cool, how old is he?" Jackie asked. He paused his actions and took a deep breath. She just had to ask that, didn't she? Hyde pursed his lips and smashed his fist down on the lid to the polyurethane, thankfully he had to do that anyway. He turned down to look at her, his expression almost lethal; and he didn't have his sunglasses on.

"Do you not remember?" He growled acidly, his cool was now gone. It wasn't really her fault, he understood that, but today he was extra sensitive, and so un-zen. How could she not remember? She bumped into him all those years ago and calle dhim a freak. WHen he watched Jackie shake her head timidly, eyes wide, he laughed darkly. "Seven years ago, you were at the mall with your mommy dearest, when you ran into a _dirty_, _gross _boy carrying a baby. His mommy had just abandoned him for a guy who didn't give two shits about her, but that didn't matter; she hated her kids! You called that kid weird though, do you remember that?" Jackie's eyes welled with tears, and normally he would have felt guilty, but today he didn't even care. "That was Chris, my little brother... who died from pneumonia and hypothermia that very same night, only two months old. And it should have been me!" By the end of his rant, he was yelling, hot tears burning in his own eyes. Jackie whimpered as she looked at him, scared, or maybe worried.

"Hyde, I am so-"

"I... I gotta go," He stammered, then grabbed his flannel long sleeved shirt, and bolted for the class room. He didn't hear Jackie call out to him, or Mr. Duvall shout at him to come back. Slamming the metal door shut behind him, he ran down the snowy sidewalk, to the high school parking lot. The gravel was icy, yet his boots would help preven thim from falling.

He couldn't breathe. Everything was spinning too fast as he ran across the street, to the sidewalk on the other side of the road. His lungs were so tight, and each gasp for air was like an icy stab to his lungs. His heart felt like it had exploded, a gnawing, sinking sensation ate away at his insides. Hyde felt sick; he had never spoken to anyone about Chris's death, adn even explaining the cause had brought those bitter memories back. The walk to the Forman's, his skin turned blue, how he was unsure if he could walk just a couple more blocks to shelter. If he had gotten there sooner, Chris would have been okay. If Hyde had lied down like he planned, he would have died. He wouldn't have to deal with the brutal aftermath and morbid flashbacks that tore at his mind whenever he thought about his little brother. He would have been happy, and everyone else would have been too.

"FUCK!" Hyde screamed at the top of his lungs, doubling over as the emotional pain took its toll physically on him. He coughed, shoulders violently quaking as tears fought to spill out of his eyes. "Fuck," he whimpered, clutching his sides as he gasped for air.

Why had he actually talked to Jackie about it? That was so unlike him, he never talked to anyone. And of all people; snobby cheerleader Jackie Burkhart? It was disgusting.

Hyde wiped his eyes, his teeth chattering from the cold as he slowly stood back up. He had something he needed to do. For Chris. Hyde shivered and gritted his teeth, walking down 7th Avenue...

* * *

"Michael! Eric!" Eric glanced up from his lunch when hearing the high, shrill voice calling his name. His eyes found a blood shot eyed, red faced Jackie, who was running towards them... with Hyde's binder and notebook? Eric looked curiously at Donna, wondering if she knew what was going on. But the worried, confused look on her face told him otherwise.

"What's up, baby?" Kelso held out his arm, but Jackie swatted it away as she shook with sobs.

"Ai, you must have found my present Jackie, I sorry," Fez mumbled, momentarily Jackie eyed him weirdly, then turned tot he other three.

"Did Hyde come in the cafeteria after the bell?" Jackie asked weakly, then wiped at her eyes, gasping as she saw eye liner smudged on her fingers, "Oh my God, I look awful!"

"No, he didn't, why?" Eric asked, drinking from his carton of milk. Donna appeared very annoyed with Jackie, but even though she was obnoxious it was about her best friend, she needed to know.

"He... we talked about Valentine's Day, and I asked what he was doing, and he said 'looking through my brother's box'," Jackie started, trying to do an immitation of Hyde's voice as she quoted him, "and I didn't know I called him weird when we were younger!" Jackie squeaked as tears rolled down her cheeks.

"Wait, you talked about Chris?" Donna cried in disbelief, "Hyde never talks about Chris!" Jackie shrugged at what the red head told her, unsure if that was a good thing or not.

"He told me he d-died seven years ago today, and I had seen them at the mall before..."

"Well what happened to Hyde?" Eric interrupted the blubbering girl.

"He was in the middle of talking, he said he died from pneumonia and hypothermia and it was supposed to be him, and he ran and I'm scared!"

"What?" The four older students exclaimed, bug eyed and ashen faced.

"Where did he run?" Kelso asked, rubbing Jackie's leg, hoping it would make her feel better.

"Out. He ran from the shop room, Mr. Duvall was so angry, I think when he comes back he's going to be suspended."

"Wait, he said he was looking through the box with Chris, right?" Donna asked, distantly, completely ignoring Jackie's previous statement. When the younger girl nodded, she grinned. "I know where he is."

* * *

Hyde shivered, pale arms shaking violently from the cold. He was dressed in only his jeans and Led Zeppelin t-shirt, the box now seemed so heavy in his arms. Hyde slowly walked up to the iron cemetery gates. His legs dragged sluggishly behind him, five miles of walking was rough, and it had taken him even longer because of the snow. His watch told him it was going on 5:00, and the sun was already beginning to set. He didn't have much time before he needed to go home.

Hyde curled his hand through the bars and pulled up the latch, the short door creaked open slowly.

His feet were covered in snow as he walked through the cemetery. It had been snowing just like that fateful night seven years ago; hopefully history wasn't repeating itself. The snow was ankle deep and was already seeping through his jeans and socks, dripping into his boots.

"Chris, w-where are you, man?" He stuttered as his teeth chattered from the cold. Even though he was already starting to feel numb, no matter how cold it got, he was going to go through with it all.

Finally after twenty minutes of searching through headstones, he found the one he was looking for. When his eyes stared at the engraved name at the top, he felt about ready to throw up. This was so surreal. This was the proof that he needed to see that Chris was dead, and lying, rotting under the ground in that tiny little casket. That this wasn't just some bad dream, that this was as real as it could get. Hyde placed his hand on the icy headstone and traced his fingers over every letter and number.

**Christopher John Hyde**

**Born December 13, 1968- Died February 14, 1969**

**A child born on Earth, but raised by God**

Hyde shook with fury as hot, angry tears flooded down his numb cheeks. Who made up that stupid line? If there was in fact a god, then he wouldn't have let Chris die in the first place. Why should an innocent baby die? He had been helpless, couldn't speak or walk. Chris was dead, and it was all his fault. All his fault.

"Chris, buddy, um... I'm sorry... I wish I was home right now, playing a stupid game with you. It w-would sure beat being in a c-cemetery, talking to a headstone, huh?" Hyde laughed sadly, this was weird; talking to himself. He just hoped that Chris could hear. "Grandma and Grandpa left you a box... I wanted to visit you earlier and l-look through it w-with you sooner... but f-figured I s-sh-should wait until today." With each minute, he was growing colder, his teeth rattling more and more as he spoke. He cleared his throat and took a deep breath as he opened the box. He noticed the sky was gradually growing cloudier, the snow faller faster as the sun continued to set. "I g-gotta hurry though, s-soon I won't be able to see," he laughed weakly, tears stinging his eyes. Why did he feel crazy?

He couldn't feel his fingers as he touched the box. His entire body had gone numb from the cold quite awhile ago, but it wasn't stopping him. Hyde's hands shook tremendously as he pulled out the small baby blanket of Chris's.

"It's the blanket Grandma m-made you when you were born," Hyde stammered, a faint smile etched across his face as he remembered the day. "Yeah, you cried so loud and when I held you, I was so scared of breaking you. Funny, huh?" He folded the blanket back up and dug his hand in the box, pulling out a few pictures. He smiled at the baby dressed in red, stuffed in a stocking.

"Ma joked around on Christmas; said you were the best present she could ever be given." Hyde gazed at the photo of the sleeping baby and sighed. "You'd have our eyes, bright blue, but straight dark hair like ma's, not mine. You would probably annoy the shit outta me, Chris. But I'd rather be annoyed than not have you, man."

Hyde spotted a small envelope as he sifted through the box, mostly it was just pictures; his grandparents probably put his sentimental values in his box, which was probably why he was given so much. He picked up the envelope as fast as he could; if he was going to read it here, he'd need to do it fast since the sun was so close to the horizon.

"I'm gonna read this out l-loud, okay, buddy?" He asked to no one, and sighed, the page softly crunched as he unfolded it. "Dear... Steven?" He stared curiously at his own name; his head began to swim and his breathing was hitched. "Since C-Chris is no longer w-with us, we figured to write you a l-letter instead. This will be s-short, if you don't mind. We know the death of your b-brother was very tragic. For a time, you blamed yourself, s-saying that you killed him. But it was n-not your fault, Steven. You were only trying to do what was b-best and it shouldn't have even happened. Why your mother l-left you, a child yourself, alone to walk in a blizzard with your infant brother? It's absurd, disgusting. It had to have been so hard for you to cope with; we were all so worried about you. But, you pulled through and-"

Hyde shook his head and tore the paper in half, not finishing the letter. He couldn't bear it. His grandparents had no clue what they were talking about this time. It had been his fault! And he didn't just get better, he only forced it out of his brain, whenever he thought about it, he felt like a cyanide laced double edged sword was cutting apart his insides over and over again. It killed him.

"Chris, I miss you and... I'm tired," Hyde whimpered, eyes staring up at the almost dark sky. He leaned on the headstone as he shivered, knees brought to his chest. Hyde couldn't walk all the way back, there was no way in hell he could walk five miles like this. He was scared though; he didn't have any other way home besides walking, and his legs were now Jell-O. He couldn't even lift his arms. He laughed softly and tilted back his head as he gazed up in the sky. "Is this it, Chris? Are you comin' for me, bro? 'Cause I-I'm ready. It s-should have been me in t-the f-first p-pl-place." He whispered, his terror now mixing with drowsiness. The cold did this to him before seven years ago, and this time he had nothing to stop him.

He was tired, weak and with his brother. He didn't really care about anything else at this point, only that as his eyes lids grew heavier, he felt calmer. His trembles had almost stopped completely, and he was so cold that he was warm. No one would find him for awhile, but that didn't matter. The point was that he was getting what he wanted, and in the process, achieved total zen; nirvana.

Hyde's eye lids closed and he breathed slowly, body growing limp as he began to fall asleep. As he began to slip out of consciousness, his breathing grew shallower, his body heat decreasing so quickly, and his heart was slowing every minute. He didn't want to ever open his eyes; this felt too nice. Like he was about to catch up on sleep after three days of staying awake.

This was fate, finally finding its way to him. He knew it would be sooner or later, his parents had predicted he'd die before his sixteenth birthday. And with less than almost seven months to go, they were right. And, he wasn't scared of death; he was actually happy. He'd finally be with the ones who truly loved him, who weren't supposed to leave him. Or maybe they left so that he would follow.

Life sucked. His mom hated him, he was almost failing in every class at school, he and Edna could be kicked out of the house they were renting, not to mention the countless abusive boyfriends she had; he just didn't care about life. It was only going to get worse and he'd die anyway; why not make it sooner? He had wanted to die since he was seven fucking years old, and now he finally had his chance. Every second his heart slowed, mind completely unconscious. In minutes he knew he'd be dead, more than what he was in life. He'd be nothing, he'd be empty.

* * *

"Eric, honey, if Steven isn't here, your father will be very mad, he hates me using so much gas money." Eric nodded at his mom and glanced in the backseat of the Vista Cruiser. Donna looked absolutely terrified as they neared the cemetery; like everyone else.

"Don't worry, he'll be here, Mrs. Forman," Donna reassured Eric's mom.

"It's so cold out there, I don't know what that boy is thinking." Mrs. Forman muttered, pulling over next to the curb. At once, three car doors sprang open, and five of the six gang members ran from the car and to the gates.

Jackie held on to Kelso as they walked up to the cemetery, so she'd be warmer, and she was terrified. What if he was super pissed? Or crying? Or... worse...? She shivered at the thought and burrowed her head into her boyfriend's chest; his heart beat helped calm her. Among the dead, she knew at least he was alive and with her.

Donna peered around the dark cemetery, searching for her idiotic best friend. Of course she was worried, but this was Hyde; he was always strong, always okay. She just wanted to get him in the car she beat the crap out of him. Her worry grew as she glanced at all of the tombstones; there were so many. And there wasn't any taller forms staring at one, either, which couldn't be god. Her stomach squirmed and she chewed on her nails, he was fine, she told herself. He was always fine.

Eric had to get over his fear of cemeteries... and the dark. His best friend was out there somewhere and probably had been for hours! He shivered and pulled his coat closer to him; Hyde never wore coats in the winter; the guy was probably freezing his ass off! He knew Donna was worried, and he was freaking out too, but this was Hyde they were worrying about. He was always fine.

"This is so sad," Fez murmured as he gazed at the headstones. These were dead people and they were walking on their bodies. He knew that Hyde's brother was dead, but why would he want to come to a cemetery? Fez wandered aimlessly, talking even though he had lost the rest of them, without knowing that, of course. He was so getting hot cocoa out of this... and a hot bubble bath.

"Guys, I don't think he's here," Kelso whispered as he held tightly to Jackie. He was absolutely terrified of cemeteries, and wanted to leave, liek now. But they were determined to find Hyde. And it was pretty freaky, what he did. He had to be okay though, this was the same kid who didn't cry when he got whipped in the 2nd grade. In fact, Hyde never cried; he was a true man. "Fez, you're being awful quiet," Kelso said, hoping this time to get an actual response from somebody. "Fez?" Kelso stopped and looked around; Jackie, Eric, Donna. No Fez. No Hyde. "Oh my God, the zombies took Fez, Eric! I predicted this!" Kelso whisspered, half sobbing. "We gotta get outta here, man!" Jackie stomped on his foot in response.

"Michael! There are no zombies, he's just somehwere in the-"

"OH MY JORBA LINDA!" Everyone jumped at the loud scream from Fez, "BODY! Out of its grave! Kelso, Eric, heeeelp!" Fez screamed from far away.

"Where did the yell come from?" Donna asked, the other three all pointed in separate directions. Rolling her eyes, she took a deep breath and called, "Where are you, Fez?" Then waited for a response.

"I am scared!" She turned to her right, where no one had pointed, and arn, hoping she'd run into Fez before she... literally ran into him. She heard footsteps follow quickly behind her and she led them straight. Finally she saw Fez's bright pants contrast against the snow and sighed with relief.

"Fez, I'm so glad I found you," She said, hugging him.

"Yes, but there is a zombie!" Donna groaned and chuckled in annoyance. She didn't picture herself spending her Valentine's Day in a cemetery; why would Hyde want to do this in the first place? This supposed love filled holiday seemed more like Halloween this year, and it just kept getting even more freakier and bizarre. All in all; it sucked.

"Fez," Donna started, turning to the potential zombie, "it's probably just a statue or- oh my God!" Donna gasped, turning to see a too pale, crumpled... body. Tears stung her eyes and she shook her head.

"What is- what is THAT?" Kelso screamed, "it's a zombie!"

Donna kneeled down, body convulsing with sobs as she stared at the pallid arm outstretched on the snow. Bare up to the bicep, where there was a black t-shirt. Her hand pressed against he shoulder, so cold, and like... frozen. _This couldn't be Hyde, anyone but Hyde._ With a gentle push, the figure rolled onto his back, and she screamed, along with everyone else.

"OH MY GOD! HYDE!" She wailed, hands shaking violently as she pressed them together on the right side of his chest, "E-Eric, get your mom, now!"


	31. Emergency

_**Author's Note: I don't really know what to say on this one :D. Thank you all for reviewing, it's just awesome. You guys are wicked. :D**_

**_This one isn't as dark... but still, be warned :). And there's like... short segments, like scenes. _**

**_And someone hit it dead on *coughpreseriescough*_**

**_Question: Should I write a chapter for The Pilot? Since it was the first episode... just wondering. _**

**_Much Love,_**

**_Angie_**

* * *

_I think we have an emergency, I think we have an emergency. If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong, 'cause I won't stop holding on. So are you listening? So are you watching me? If you thought I'd leave, then you were wrong, 'cause I won't stop holding on. This is an emergency,_  
_so are you listening? And I can't pretend that I don't see this; it's really not your fault, when no one cares to talk about it. 'Cause I've seen love die way too many times when it deserved to be alive. I've seen you cry way too many times, when you deserved to be alive. So you give up every chance you get just to feel new again. I think we have an emergency, I think we have an emergency. And you do your best to show me love,_  
_but you don't know what love is. So are you listening? So are you watching me? Well I can't pretend that I don't see this. But it's really not your fault; when no one cares to talk about it. 'Cause I've seen love die way too many times; when it deserved to be alive. I've seen you cry way too many times; when you deserved to be alive. Scars, they will not fade away. No one cares to talk about it, can we talk about it?_

"That... that's not Hyde," Kelso stammered, voice breaking. Jackie whimpered, tears falling down her pink cheeks.

"Is he alive?" She asked, barely above a whisper. They were all wondering it, but only she had the nerve to actually ask. Donna's hand trembled violently as she felt the side of his neck, checking for a pulse.

"I don't know, oh my God, I don't know!" Donna choked through sobs, "Hyde how could you do this to us? Wake up!" She shouted, beating down on his chest.

"Donna, stop!" Fez exclaimed, holding her back. "PLease? We are all very scary, but Eric his getting his mom, and Hyde will be okay, okay?" He only had to convince himself the same thing. KElso laughed softly at what Fez said and shook his head.

"Yeah, guys, this is Hyde, he'll be... fine..." he trailed off, looking at the ground. But that didn't look like Hyde. Hyde was strong and would have found a way to prevent this; found a way to get home. There were like... two sides of this guy, and he suddenly had the feeling this was the side of him they never saw. The "Steven" side; call him crazy, but it was sort of like Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde. And looking at his best friend on the snowy ground, he just wasn't sure how strong _Steven _was. _'What would Hyde do for me?'_ he thought, hearing distant footsteps crunching on the new layer of blanketed snow. He got it! Suddenly a burst of adrenaline went through him and he practically lunged to the ground, reaching his hands under Hyde. "Guys, come on he's gonna freeze! Jackie get the box, Fez, Donna, help!" Kelso cried, grunting as he tried to lift Hyde by himself. Hyde needed them, or he could die. IF they just stood around, that would only help in losing their ring leader, and none of them wanted that.

"Michael, bring him to the car, we're... going to the hospital! Eric, give your coat to one of them so they can put it on him. Move!" Mrs. Forman yelled, mortified as she saw the sight of the teen, limp in three of his best friends' arms. What was he thinking...?

Fez, Kelso, and Donna hurried to the car, each getting in, with Hyde lying unconscious on top of them. His head rested on Donna's lap, since the two boys were freaked out by having "his head by our junk". As she cried silently, her hand ran through his hair.

"Steven Hyde," she whispered, "you can't do this to me, you gotta wake up."

* * *

This was like some twisted horror movie, a demented nightmare, only you wake up and realize it's reality. You're really living it and there's no escape. No way out. You want to die, but then you wake up, and you're alive. But then you're glad you are. It was confusing, it was sick, it was everything that Hyde felt, that he didn't want to feel.

He was cold. So fucking cold. And tired; all he wanted to do was sleep, but he wanted to see what the hell happened. He had been weak, so close to giving up, it was like he was dead. But he heard voices in the back of his head, had he gone crazy? They were calling, pleading for him to come back, to wake up. He knew those voices, and something inside of him only told him he couldn't let them down.

And he woke up.

* * *

"We gotta get there soon, mom, Hyde can't die," Eric sobbed, it was safe to say all of them were crying. And even if they weren't, he wouldn't feel embarrassed or ashamed. They had all made a pact that they'd never ditch each other, and then they became blood siblings, the whole shabang; cut the skin, put your hands together. And if Hyde went against that, he'd kill him. None of them were supposed to leave, he couldn't grasp that leaving was death, didn't want to.

"Kids, he will be all right, just pray," Mrs. Forman reassured them; she had been doing that since they pulled up to the cemetery. What would Edna do when she found out about her son? Would he get the proper care that he needed when he woke up? She couldn't think about that now, not yet anyway.

Donna was sobbing quietly as she held Hyde's hand tightly. He wasn't much warmer than when they found him, but he looked... less blue. When Hyde woke up, she was going to kill him, he was acting stupid!

"Hyde, please wake up? Mrs. Forman, can you please turn up the heat, for him?" Kelso asked flatly, staring at his pale friend. All the times Hyde had been there for him... he hoped what he did would be enough. Hyde was practically his brother, he couldn't let him die. If Hyde died... then... what would happen to him? What would happen to them? Kelso sniffled and kissed Jackie's forehead. She whimpered and buried her head in his chest and sighed softly.

Donna brushed back Hyd'es curly hair off of his face, and took off his sunglasses. She hated those stupid things; they all did. Without them, she saw how... peaceful he looked. He wasn't going to die though, he wouldn't ditch them like that, he promised. They all did.

"Hyde... please?" She whispered in her weeping, kissing his hand. Her shoulders shook with sobs, and she squeezed his hand tightly. "Please... Steven... please... wake up?" She pleaded, caressing his hand. He was her best friend, she couldn't lose him, he couldn't give up like that.

"Cold," she turned her head sharply as she glared at Fez, who trembled, silently crying.

"How can you be cold, Fez? You have a coat and the heater on high while Hyde could freeze to-"

"I did not say I was cold!" Fez squeaked, then started crying louder.

"I'm cold..." She heard again, then glanced down, and nearly screamed.

"Hyde!" she felt a grin spread across her face through her tears. She squeezed his handand felt the weak twinge of his fingers. Was that how strong he was? She felt sick. Eric looked back in awe, tears now of happiness as he heard his best friend speak. He was all right, he was gonna be all right.

"Donna..." she whimpered when he said her name, his blue eyes were so dull. "I'm so cold..." he sounded so feeble, so young, and it scared her. He needed to rest, but not to fall back asleep.

"You'll warm up son, I... I promise. Just stay strong okay? 'Cause I need you, we need you, and we love you." Donna felt him tremble, his chest was moving way too fast as he breathed, or tried to. Was he hurting? Through his struggles, a faint smile spread across his face, and she couldn't help but smile back.

"Really?" He whispered softly, she laughed through her tears, the lights of the hospital now glowing in her view. This wasn't Hyde... it was but... she could see his feelings, and it was actually scary. This is the side of him that they wanted him to show; but why under these circumstances?

"Yes, you goof," she teased, his smile widened, and his eyes seemed to shine more.

"When I stop, I want you three to carry Steven as quickly as you can. And I'll notify the hospital, and then I'll have Red come pick you up."

"No!" Everyone in the car shouted, except Hyde. "We're staying, mom, he's our best friend," Eric said, she sighed softly.

"Visiting hours-"

"Mom, you're a nurse, you can get us in." Eric said, Donna smiled at that.

"Fine, I'll see what I can do," Mrs. Forman murmured in defeat. The kids grinned, proud of Eric's victory.

"Donna, let me... walk," Hyde whispered, gazing into her brown eyes. Was he joking?

"Are you stupid?" She asked, he blinked, face blank.

"Yes," he finally mumbled, she laughed and opened the door of the car.

* * *

A splitting headache pounded through Hyde's skull, bringing him out of his drug induced sleep. His whole body tingled and felt like it was burning; it hurt, so bad. There was a very obnoxios steady beep from a machien that made him want to rip off his ears. He couldn't remember a thing, except reading that letter from his grandparents, and the cemetery. What the hell happened after that? He remembered it had been Chris's dead day... the 14th. So what was today's date? How long had he been out?

"-You should poke him," he heard Fez say aloud, then laughter from Kelso.

"No, Fez! He's asleep!" Jackie cried; so they were talking about him.

"I wonder what he'll do when he finds out he's wearing a dress!" Hyde groaned at that, stupid hospital gowns, or that's what he figured. He was glad his friends were here though; wherever he was. Probably a hospital.

"Hyde?" He heard Donna ask as he came to, and he grunted in response.

"Dont... steal my muffin," he grumbld. Wait, what? Where the hell did that come from? The fit of giggles of his friends proved that he had actually said that. He opened his eyes and immediately shut them; it was way too bright. He really hated hospitals. "Where are m glasses?" He asked, not really recognizing his own voice. It was strained, way too soft, and it hurt way too much to talk. He glanced around, squinting as he was forced to adjust to the light.

"You can't wear them," He scowled at what Eric told him, the teen standing next to Donna. Hyde rolled his eyes and leaned back on his pillow, finding it harder to breathe when he sat up.

"What happened to 'how are you feelng', man?" He asked groggily, taking a deep breath.

"Hyde what the hell were you thinking?" Donna cried, eyes fiery with rage. So, they weren't going to be up for the 'I'm so glad you're okay' thing, which would be better than the anger.

"Open the box, then you'll know," he mumbled, clutching his stomach as he slowly propped himself up. His eyes met everyone in the room as he breathed shallowly; he could tell it worried them. It shocked him that even Jackie was here; why was she? She hated him, and he hated her. And he was okay now, why were they still freaking out? Couldn't they be happy that he was all right?

"Hyde, you nealy died. Did you want to die? He shook his head at Eric's question. "Then why did you do it?" Hyde didn't want to die, he didn't think he wanted to at least. It had been the drowsiness talking. In fact, he wanted the complete opposite of death. He wanted to be alive. To feel alive.

"I went there from my house, that's five miles. It as 5:00 when I got there, and I was tired. And after awhile I just passed out I guess," Hyde told them, throat dry.

"From what Jackie said you were really upset when-"

"It was the 7th anniversary of my younger brother's death that I caused! How'd you feel if your brother died 'cause of you?"

"We almost lost _YOU_, Hyde! You're our brother!" Kelso told him, emotions showing through. Hyde was silent, staring into the eyes of each of his friends. They looked terrified, and tired, and dull; like his.

"Please, stop?" Jackie asked softly, "Hyde is okay, and that's what we all wante. We don't need to fight; he's all right, we're all all right," Hyde smiled weakly at her and she gave a short nod. Somtimes the bitch wasn't so shallow.

"Look guys, I'm sorry... I just wanted to visit Chris, 'cause I miss him, you know? It like... hurts, man," Damn the morphine; it was making him talk.

"I know, Hyde... my cousin was eaten by an alligator when I was nine when we were playing," Fez whimpered, Hyde's eyes widened as he stared at him, like everyone else. That was just awful!

"Fezzie, man, how do you do it?" He asked; for some reason he didn't care to ask if it was a real story, because if it wasn't, why would he say it? Fez was an honest guy, he was the snitch of the group. He couldn't lie.

"It was an accident and over time I was less and less sad, and talking helps." Hyde glanced at his hands and grimaced.

Talking. The skill he lacked in. He couldn't speak and be open with his feelings, even if he tried. Fez was lucky he had that voice; he seemed to be doing okay. Would Hyde be the same way? "You have to accept that he is gone and that it wasn't your fault, before the pain starts to go," Fez finishd. Hyde only nodded, knowing that he was unable to do that, right now at least. But hopefully in time that wouldn't be the case.

"Thanks, Fez," Hyde said softly, the other boy beamed and nodded, proud of himself."So... what is today?" Hyde asked, his friends only laughed at his question, all glad that the somber talk was over with.

"The 16th," Jackie replied, smiling at Hyde's shocked face.

"The doctors kept you under so they could watch you better, and you got off life support later," Eric informed Hyde; that just made him feel great.

"Pleasant," Hyde grumbled sarcastically, smirking softly. "Uh... guys?" Damn the medicine. "You're awesome... and I dunno what I'd do without you, so thanks." At once, instead of sudden, loud laughter, Hyde was attacked by his friends in a group hug. And he felt all right. Things were going to be okay.

* * *

Hyde stared at the ceiling in the hospital, trying to make shapes in the paint pattern. His friends had left some time ago, and ever since then he had been bored out of his mind. Plus the doctors and nurses coming in every hour to check on him and make sure he was okay was really starting to piss him off. He wanted his only nurse to be Kitty; yet he hadn't seen her since she came to take his friends home.

He just wanted to go home. He absolutely hated doctors and hospitals; they didn't care, they only wanted money. Plus it made the government's job easier to spy on the records of citizens because every little bit of information was stored, and they could find out every little thing about him. Not that they needed to. He wanted out of this place as soon as possible, so he'd put on a fake smile when they checked on him and act like Forman. Which turned out to be a lot harder than he thought. And he didn't know how much more of this hospital he could take. The smells of the chemicals and medicines almost made him sick, and the room was always bright, even with the lights off. He felt imprisoned, in a cage, or a lab, being observed and studied. And those stupid nurses with their fake peppiness really made him angry. Earlier he had told one of them to get laid because she was being such a bitch. This place actually freaked him out, and though he should feel safe, he felt more paranoid than ever. Maybe he needed more medicine... yeah... that sounded great.

Distant voices were carrying a heated argument down the hall. The conversation was muffled by his closed door, but as each second passed, it grew louder. A sinking feeling fell in the pit of his stomach, nausea rolled through him and he grew clammy as he realized what was going on. It just had to be.

"Edna," he grumbled weakly; who else would start an argument with doctors at 11:00 at night?

He jumped when there was a loud thump on his door, like a body being pinned against it. His eyes were wide as he listened; what the hell was going on? Quickly, Hyde curled up and closed his eyes as he pretended to be asleep.

"You and your family have done nothing but hurt him! I have had it!" Hyde's blood boiled and his stomach flipped as he heard none other than Edna yell at Mrs. Forman.

"Excuse me? We have done nothing but helped Steven. If my son and their friends hadn't gone to find him, you'd be planning a funeral instead!" Hyde squirmed and felt very nervous when hearing Mrs. Forman talk so calmly; he knew she was furious, but unlike Edna, she had every right.

"Like seven years ago? At least this time the job would've been done right!" His heart pounded loudly in his head as he listened to his mom rage on. She really did want him dead after all.

"How dare you? How dare you! How could you say such a thing about your son?" Kitty helped bring an ounce of reassurance back.

"What can I say? He's my biggest mistake."

The door handle rattled and he tensed. He didn't want to see Edna, he didn't even want to hear her or talk to her. He just wanted her to leave him alone; especially after what she just said. "STEVEN!" Edna barked, he stirred, acting like she had just woken up, and yawned.

"What time is it?" It was 11:19; he knew that.

"Doesn't fuckin' matter, get your lazy ass outta that bed. I'm takin' your shit to the car and you better be out there in five minutes," Edna commanded, Hyde nodded.

He couldn't just leave, he had pneumonia and needed to be in the hospital. If he was home he'd probably end up dying, and that was no exaggeration. He'd rather stay here for a month than go back home for a day. As Edna left the room, Hyde glanced up with pleading eyes, and whimpered. She looked absolutely livid; not at him, but at his dumbass mom. Could Mrs. Forman help him?

Just then an idea flicked through his brain. A lot of stuff could go wrong, but he was trying to plan logically while under stress and in a short amount of time, plus it was really stupid. Hyde didn't want Mrs. Forman to worry about him, but he knew in the end he'd be better off... if it turned out successful.

Hyde waited for Mrs. Forman to leave the room before sliding out of his bed. Thankfully, he had his own pajamas on now, since Eric had been nice enough to find the ones he always left at his house. He had to hurry with this, because a nurse would be coming in soon to help get him to the car, and he couldn't be found.

He bit his lip as he pulled off the tape to the IV; that wouldn't even be the hard part, yet it hurt like hell. This thing seemed like it could easily puncture a vein, and if he didn't do it properly... he didn't want to think about it. He didn't have the time to think about it. Suddenly, he yanked the IV out of his arm, and he yelped in pain from the pull. Hopefully it wouldn't bleed. Now standing, he knew as soon as he took off the heart monitor, he'd need to bolt out of there.

It did hurt that he had to run from his mom, that was true. But Mrs. Forman was right, she treated him like shit. And if he went home, he just knew nothing good would come out of that. He'd rather risk his life for a short time than go home. And if he stayed here his mom would be really pissed when she got in the room and force him home. So his plan would work out the best for everyone for everyone, especially himself. And he taught himself at a young age to only expect pain and disappointment from Edna.

Hyde unplugged himself from the heart monitor and took a deep breath before zipping out of the room, not bothering to hear the flat line. The doctors were already gathered at the end of the hall, trying to figure out what room the person 'died' in. Hyde didn't even want to think about how Mrs. Forman would feel when they thought he was dead, or when he was gone. He'd have to have a long talk with her later.

He couldn't take the time going down the elevator, plus someone may recognize him. But he couldnt' put too much stress on his lungs or heart right now... even though going out in subzero temperatures with pneumonia was great for him. Hyde wasn't sure how long the walk would be, but he knew it was closer than the mall. Mrs. Forman would be furious with him either way. As his feet moved lightning fast down the last flight of stairs, Hyde hopped off the last three, then casually walked out of the main lobby; already breathing heavily. If walking down three stories of stairs did that to him, what would walking outside be like? He felt weak, and it pissed him off.

At least his pajamas looked a little like street clothes so it wouldn't be so conspicuous. He shivered as he walked along the sidewalk, of course he didn't have a coat; this was definitely smart on his part. He could only hope that his walk would be short and that he wouldn't suffer too much from this. Hyde's lungs ached though; he felt like he had asthma and had ran a mile, there was a heavy pressure as he tried to breathe. He knew he'd only end up sicker from doing this, but he couldn't go back to the hospital, and he didn't want to go home. So he continued on into the icy February night, shivering as a light snow fell.

Like he said, he'd rather risk his own life than see Edna.

* * *

A half hour later later, Hyde staggered up the Forman's front porch, clutching his stomach as he fought to breathe. The air was so cold, it felt like a ton of icy razorblades were cutting his throat, his lungs, and his entire body was convulsing in violent shakes from the wintery night. Raising a trembling fist, Hyde pounded on the door and tried to compose himself before someone answered.

"Come on, come on, come on!" Hyde begged, staring with heavy eyes at the closed green door. He knew Eric and Red were home, so they should have answered by now. Hopefully they weren't sleeping, he didn't think Eric would be, but he couldn't be exactly sure on that. But one thing he was sure of was that if he didn't get inside soon, he'd be a lot worse off than two nights ago.

"Aren't you like... supposed to be at the hospital?" Hyde stared wide eyed at Laurie Forman, whow as shockingly home.

"Aren't you supposed to be whoring your way around town?" Hyde retorted. Laurie rolled her eyes and sat on the couch, silently telling him it was okay to come inside. Secretly, he could have kissed her in his happiness that he made it okay, but he wouldn't go within two feet of the Earth Mother Whore.

"No, that's your mom's job," Laurie responded, matter-of-factly. Great, now he didn't ahve a good comeback, because his mom was basically the eternal queen of the whores.

"Listen, Laurie, as much as I'd love to-" Hyde was interrupted by a sudden wave of harsh coughs that almost tore his throat. He stayed doubled over, his whole upper body aching as he coughed. Yeah, this was going to get way worse than before.

"Hyde... let me go get my dad," he only nodded at Laurie's words and closed his mouth to hopefully try and stop the coughing; a copper taste lingered on his tongue. Hyde breathed very slowly through his nose, trying to fill his lungs completely with oxygen. He whimpered, his chest heaving as his breath caught, and he leaned his head back on the couch. He felt so dizzy and clammy, he knew he had a fever. Though he was in denial, because he never got sick; ever.

"Steven, how much of a dumbass are you? Running from a hospital in the middle of winter, with pneumonia? I had hope in you," Red barked as he stepped down the last stair into the living room, walking towards the couch.

"Edna," Hyde whispered hoarsely, though he tried to speak normally; what happened to his voice all of a sudden? HE watched as Red slowly nodded and sighed sadly.

"Kitty was awful worried Steven, she called and told me you were gone. But she figured you knew what you were doing. Though you were a complete dumbass and should have thought it out better before, you did... good, son, you did good. Come on, let's see if I can help you any." Red slightly lectured him, but smiled towards the end. Hyde knew the guy did care about him, and there was more meaning behind the words, which made Hyde feel a little better.

When Hyde struggled to stand, Mr. Forman sighed and held out his hand. Hyde grabbed it firmly, and gripped his arm tightly as he slowly walked, which made Red laugh.

"Oh Steven, Kitty's gonna have a cow over you. Don't expect to go anywhere for two weeks," Red knew that Hyde would like the idea of staying over here for that long, but the man had a point. Mrs. Forman would absolutely never leave him alone. She'd tend to every little thing and probably never leave his side to make sure he was all right.

Mr. Forman helped Hyde into the kitchen, and pulled out a chair for the fifteen year old. He was confused as to what Red was doing exactly, but when he saw the man pull out a bottle of lemon juice and scotch, he smirked. Until he watched him also pull out a bottle of honey from the cupboard, and started brewing tea. Crap... he was stuck with the herbs, which if it was smokable, and illegal, then he'd be okay with that. But... tea?

"I get scotch, right?" Hyde asked softly, throat sore. Mr. Forman just laughed once more as he poured some of the alcohol in a small glass, answering Hyde's question without words. He grimaced and shivered, even though their house was so warm, he was freezing.

"Drink some, it'll help you warm up," Red ordered, handing Hyde the glass of alcohol. His wide eyes met Mr. Forman, who rolled his eyes at his shocked expression. He knew not to gulp it down in front of his best friend's dad, so he took a sip, and set down the juice glass. "Kitty would have made the tea, it helps sore throats, and you'll be able to breathe better." Mr. Forman informed, Hyde just stared at the tea kettle, clutching the glass.

"That's cool," Hyde mumbled, coughing softly once more. He shivered and licked his bottom lip, embarrassed and hoping Mr. Forman didn't notice that saliva accidentally flew from his mouth. But that wasn't saliva, and he knew that from the wide eyed expression on Red's face as he was staring at Hyde's hand. He looked down as well and suddenly felt weak. "Is that... blood?" Hyde asked weakly, Mr. Forman nodded, taking the scotch from him, not that the teen noticed.

"Uh, Steven, drink this tea and then I'll kick Eric out of his room, you can sleep in his room and borrow an extra pair of pajamas." Hyde had never seen Red like this. He as bossing him around, and that was normal. But he could tell he was worried or scared about him coughing up blood. It was completely understandable, Hyde was terrified himself; the last time he had was because of Bud, when he was 7.

"I'm okay, Mr. Forman, and I can uh... sleep in the basement or on the couch," Hyde could tell Mr. Forman wanted to help, but didn't really know what to do. He probably didn't do much for his kids when they were sick. But Hyde figured it was the thought that counted. "Thanks for making the tea," Hyde mumbled, wrapping his arms around his stomach.

"Yeah... sow hat exactly gave you the big idea to walk here? Did you have something jammed up your ass?" Red asked, trying to lighten their nerves with an ass reference. Hyde tried to laugh at that, but it hurt.

"Edna was being a bitch, wanted me to go home, and I know it... wouldn't be the best for me there, yet. But if I was still in the hospital then she'd make me go home. So when I was alone, I ran, and I knew the best place for me to go would be here... 'cause Mrs. Forman is a nurse and all," Hyde murmured, resting his head on the table. Not only was it because Kitty was a nurse, but he felt safest and the most comfortable at their house. Red probably knew that as well, but wouldn't say anything; silent connections were the best.

"You did make a good choice, son," Hyde liked that Red called him that; it felt right. He wished he was his son. IF he had Red and Kitty as his actual parents, he'd be so grateful. He'd be like... Forman, but he'd actually listen to them and not talk back. Eric was so lucky, and he didn't even know that.

Both Red and Hyde turned when hearing the glass door open, and keys jingle. Short Kitty dragged her exhausted body into the house and didn't even notice Hyde sitting at the table.

"Mrs. Forman," Hyde began, she woudln't let him finish though. As soon as she saw him, her face lit up as she grinned, shuffling over to him.

"Steven! I just knew you would be okay, you gave everyone a scare, how did you get here? Why did you do it? Are you okay?" She asked, making Hyde wonder why she wasn't yelling or mad at him.

"Well... I uh walked and uh-"

"You walked? Steven, you have pneumonia, and it's freezing outside! Do you know-"

"Kitty, he's... coughing up blood," Red told her, nearly whispering. Instead of having a panic attack and rushing over to Hyde, checking his vitals and everything, she laughed, which confused both of the men.

"He has a bad case of pneumonia, and he walked a mile, it wouldn't be uncommon. Thankfully, Red pays attention, that tea will do wonders for you respiratory system, Steven. I'll get you some Advil to take for your fever, then a warm change of pajamas, and then you're off to bed. You and I are having a long talk in the morning," Kitty told Hyde, who smiled feebly. The last thing he wanted to do was have a conversation about him running, yet it was expected. "You're not getting off easy for this, mister," Kitty teased, handing him two tablets and kissed his forehead. Hyde chuckled softly and smiled up at her as he swallowed down the pills.

"Yes, mom," His eyes widened as soon as those words slipped from his mouth. It had felt so natural to say; he hadn't meant it in a snide manner, or a mocking tone... it just happened. Hyde bit his lip as he gazed at the two adults; one looked just as shocked as him, the other just smiling. After all, it was a more fitting title to call Mrs. Forman, much more than Edna. But he wouldn't say it again.

"That should help you feel better soon," Mrs. Forman piped up, hoping to fill the sudden awkward silence. Hyde nodded, knowing she was only talking about the medicine. But when he locked eyes with her, he hoped she knew he meant more when he replied.

"I already do," he mumbled, and she smiled at the teen, "I already do."


	32. Marc's Car

_**Author's Note: This is so weird... I'm like... two chapters away from getting into the series. It's absolutely insane... almost four months ago I just started this. And I'm this far? I wonder where I'll be in the next four months. Hopefully I still have readers/reviewers *hinthint*. I'm sort of worried about this chapter, but I hope you guys like it. **_

**_Oh yeah! I forgot: I was really bored today and slightly suffering writer's block, so I made like a collage thing of Hyde throughout the years. Like how I described in the photos when he went to his grandparent's house. Plus how I picture him rather than just the show- actual pictures of Danny at those ages... and I came up with a little history for it as well but I won't post that on here. If you wanna go see the picture go to photobucket and type in the username heartless_romantic667 or I'll post the direct link in the reviews section. And if you're curious about any of the little backgrounds to the pictures I made up, message me. I doubt anyone will be though. Hope you enjoy, nonetheless!_**

**_There's a lot of dialogue in this one, hope you don't mind!_**

**_And nannygirl: Sorry, this chapter doesn't have the Hyde/Kitty talk... I tried doing it but the chapter was just based on that and wasn't very good. So that will be part of the 'deleted scenes deal'. I'm sorry! :(_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**

**_Disclaimer: Towards the end, the conversation gets a little dirty, it's funny though. Just thought I'd let you know._**

* * *

_I remember when we used to ride in the back of your car like every day. It was the five of us just the five of us, just the five of us we didn't know it any other way. We should know the way by now to get there, no one showed us how. And all the time I've spent all the memories, we'll make it last into eternity. But I will always be your friend, but I will always be your friend. And through the sad times, the memories the memories they last forever..._

"It's weird, soon we're all going to be juniors, then seniors, and then we'll graduate and do God knows what. It's scary," Donna mumbled three months later, on the night before the last day of sophomore year.

Hyde just nodded, staring off in the trees, the May night air cool, but refreshing. The stars glittered in the dark sky, the moon bright and full, making the night lighter than usual. Hyde had taken his mom's car out and actually picked up Donna before driving the two of them to the water tower, where they were now. He didn't really want to think about the future, he just wanted to feel the here and now; and right now he was with Donna. And it was awesome. But Donna was always wondering about the next day, the next month, or year, or five years. She had high goals for herself, while he had none. Which was one reason they wouldn't be good together- he'd only bring her down.

"Yep," he replied, voice distant and eyes vacant, but still paying attention. He wasn't wearing his sunglasses, for her, she hated the damn things. "Have you decided on what you're gonna do?" he asked her, actually curious on that. Donna sighed softly and glanced up at him, probably shocked he asked her that.

"Journalism, I think," The 16 year old girl answered, sounding so confident in herself. Hyde knew Donna would be great at that, she had a great talent for writing.

"You'd be wicked," Hyde told her, she blushed a little and squeezed his hand; the simple contact made the world to him.

"Thanks, Hyde. Do you know what you're going to do?" He scoffed at that, who knew if he'd be alive by then?

"If I'm not dead, then I'll be in prison, kid," he murmured, ashamed that he himself knew that's where he was headed. Donna rolled her eyes and slugged his arm lightly, a little annoyed at his lack of self worth.

"Hyde, come on, don't think like that; what do you want to do?" Donna inquired, gazing him in the eye. He liked this closeness with her, feeling comfortable with his glasses off, being within inches of her lips, at any second he could kiss her, but he wouldn't. He did know what he wanted to do, but also knew he'd never make it. He didn't want to go to college, and even if he did, he didn't have the financial stability.

"I'll be a bum, play guitar on the streets of New York and get shit on by one eyed pigeons," Donna laughed at his joke of an answer; yeah he had been messing around there.

"Seriously, Hyde! Not that you wouldn't get big bucks from that, but what do you _want _to do?" She asked, quieter this time. He sighed in defeat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Don't laugh, okay?" He asked her, Donna nodded, waiting patiently for his answer. "I've thought about what I want to do, and I think it'd be pretty cool to do a couple things. So either a mechanic, a chef, or something with writing. But I don't really know..." Hyde trailed off. Instead of laughing or insulting his choices, Donna just stared with wide eyes, and mouth slightly agape at his three choices.

"You know how to cook? And I didn't know you wrote! That's actually really cool, Hyde," She reassured, he only laughed softly, a little unsure on her sincerity.

"I don't cook much, but I like to, and yeah I write a bunch of songs... they're not that great though." Donna was in total awe at this open, creative side of Hyde that she had never seen.

"I'd love to hear them sometime!" She exclaimed happily, grinning at him. Hyde bit back his bottom lip, not sure if he wanted to say what he was about to.

"Uh... well actually I recorded a couple on cassette, and I got it with me in the car. You wanna-"

"Yeah! Let's go!" Donna chirped, he was going to say 'borrow it', but listening to it now worked also.

Hyde waited for Donna to climb down a few steps on the tall ladder before he started the journey down. He hated the going back down part the most, if he fell, well it would really suck. Kelso had three visits to the hospital because of his many falls from the water tower. Then again, that was Kelso. But still, the idea of slipping and falling scared the crap out of Hyde. With that thought, Hyde gripped onto the bars until his knuckles turned white.

When he was about ten feet from the ground, Hyde let go of the railing and jumped. Donna had just reached the bottom, and he didn't want her to have to wait for him. Landing on his feet, Hyde's knees bent a bit, yet he remained standing; he had good balance.

"Impressive," Donna teased, laughing quietly. Hyde smirked and gave a short bow as he joked.

"Why thank you," He played along, then the two began to walk through the trees to the parked car. Hyde was a little nervous about playing his songs for someone else. Yeah, he had listened to it a couple times to make corrections, but it was different for someone else to hear his music, it was actually an audience. And he hoped she liked it, also; it would be embarrassing if it made her want to gag. Hyde held on to her hand as he lead them out so they wouldn't lose each other as the ground was much darker than the sky. Donna smiled at him and gave a small squeeze, which sent Hyde all the wrong signals.

Finally they could see civilization instead of a bunch of trees. His nerves grew as the two neared the brown station wagon; he really hoped she would like the music. Hde knew he didn't have a real strong voice, but he felt he could sing pretty well. And besides, it wasn't just the voice that makes a song so good, it's the emotion in it. And the way he got his emotions out besides smoking was writing lyrics, singing, and playing the guitar... you could say there was a lot of feeling put into every word, and every sound. It was a way for him to vent.

Hyde opened the passenger door for Donna, who seemed slightly shocked that he did that. Even if they were just hanging out, he was still going to open the door for her. He would have for any chick. As he sat down in the driver's seat and closed the door, he hoped she didn't think he did that just for her; it wasn't like that. It had been a simple act of kindness and a case of surprisingly good manners.

"Uh... I hope you like it," Hyde murmured as he turned on the car and searched through his pile of cassettes. Donna side softly; he momentarily turned and saw her smiling.

"I will," she chirped; she might be eager to say that now, but would she still after she listened?

Taking a deep breath, Hyde pushed his tape into the plater and waited a few seconds before pulling out of the parking lot. The slow, haunting sound of his guitar filled his ears and as he glanced over at Donna, saw that the girl just stared ahead with a blank face. Hyde knew after the two minute guitar entrance that he'd start singing and that's what he was afraid of. Hearing his won voice on a recording, however cheap, was really weird for him. But for Donna, he'd go through with it. Suddenly his voice sang softly on the radio, giving the song an even more chill as he heard the crystal clear words.

"Look at me, looking at you.  
Your colors have faded today.  
Eyes half empty, yet full of hate  
You look at me  
And everything comes rushing through

When looking in my eyes  
Do you feel the same things?  
Do you see the same things?  
Are you just like me  
And can't get over it?  
Or are you too blind to see?

Does it haunt you everytime  
You try and fall asleep?  
How long will it take me  
To show you that I'm sorry  
How long will it take you  
To look me in the eye?

When looking in my eyes  
Do you feel the same things?  
Do you see the same things?  
Are you just like me  
And can't get over it?  
Or are you too blind to see?

I'm lost on a one way road,  
Wondering where I belong  
A step in the wrong direction  
Leads me closer to you  
A step to the right,  
Takes me to all the wrong choices

We can't take back the days of hate  
And understanding isn't the key that fits  
You and I are blood, and though thick,  
I'd rather drink the water

When looking in my eyes  
Do you feel the same things?  
Do you see the same things?  
Are you just like me  
And can't get over it?  
Or are you too blind to see?

Could you ever look me in the eye  
And tell me you feel the same  
Tell me you see the same  
Or are you just like me  
And too afraid to find the shame?"

As his voice died out and the guitar took the lime light once more, Hyde glanced at Donna. His eyes were full of worry when he saw her lips tremble.

"Was it that bad?" Donna laughed weakly at his question and shook her head.

"No! No, it was really good, I liked how raw the recording sounded. And you singing? Never pictured it," Hyde chuckled at that and shrugged his shoulders, turning on Florence Avenue.

"Good?" Hyde asked her, now changing the tunes to the radio station.

"Yeah! I mean the song was soft and slow, and I see you as 'grr, I'm mad!' But it was really cool, I liked it. Was it about your mom?"

Hyde just looked at her, shocked that she automatically knew. It was a bit obvious, if someone knew the relationship between the mother and son, and Donna did know about it. He nodded and sighed, suddenly feeling raw and exposed. "Has it gotten any better?" The sixteen year old finally asked him. Hyde just gave her a look that said it all.

"No, but I think 'fuck you, you fat ass, for ruining my life' is her way of saying I love you," Hyde joked, but knew Donna wouldn't think it was funny. "Oh, the plus side is right now she's in prison."

"What? Hyde are you okay? Why is she in prison? Why didn't you tell anyone? God, I can't stand Edna!" Donna cried, looking beyond mad.

"Yeah, I'm fine, things go a lot better for me when she isn't home. And a cop saw her shooting up outside of Charlie's... my uncle is bailing her out soon. I didn't tell anyone because... you don't tell people about your parents, right?" Hyde asked Donna, she gazed at the floor as he mentioned her parents. "Has it gotten better?"

"Well they go on for hours about how they hate each other, but then end up having disgusting angry sex in the hall. Val is coming home from university to help for a little while, and Tina sleeps with me. How did you do it?" Hde smiled sympathetically and outstretched his arm. Donna always hugged him when they talked about her parents. He felt her warmth against his side and her head rest on his chest as they sat close to one another. Hyde's hand rested on hershoulder and his fingers traced little circles on her arm. This felt perfect.

"You just gotta tell yourself it'll get better, and if that doesn't help, in two years your out of there,"

"It's weird, I heard them talking, and Val and I were both... unplanned Val dfinitely, but they didn't want any kids after her..." Hyde squeezed onna a little as a half hug. He definitely knew the talk of being a mistake; if he wanted to, he could recite it off the top of his head.

"I ruined my mom's water skiing career, biggest mistake of her life. Your mom and dad might have said you were unplanned, but sometimes spontaneity is the best thing to happen. Your parents love you, Donna, you and your sisters are like... the best things they ever did." Hyde mumbled, which made Donna laugh. Forman didn't have this closeness with her, that was one thing Hyde cherished that Eric couldn't take away.

"Thanks, Hyde... and... you're loved too. Just 'cause your mom is a bitch doesn't mean you're a mistake. If she didn't have you, neither would I. And all of our lives would suck," Hyde chuckled softly; yeah, it did help. And even though her heart was set on Forman, he knew she had a partin her heart for him. And that part made him feel amazing.

"Thanks... hey you want something to eat?" Hyde asked her, rather starving himself. When his mom was dragged off to prison, he raided the cabinets in his home and found a lot of good food... but now it was gon. So now he lived on fast food.

"Sure, you gonna cook for me?" Donna teased, Hyde smirked.

"Unless you want pasta noodles, no. Wanna go to Fatso Burger?" As soon as he asked that, he realized how stupid it sounded. "Or Phillies?"

"Really?" Donna asked, looking a bit surprised, "I didn't bring that much with-"

"Don't worry about it, it's on me," He had stolen $50 frm his mom's purse to do something like this, and to live on. Donna chucked and shrugged her shoulders.

"Yeah, that sounds good, Hyde," He just grinned and nodded, pulling into the diner.

* * *

"Oh my God, Hyde, I heard all about last night!" Hyde shook his head drowsily in his last day of Shop, adglanced up at the fourteen year old. No more puting up with her in class after today. Thank God.

"Huh?" He asked groggily, rubbing his bare eyes to help make him more alert.

After he had take Donna to Phillie's, he had driven he home, and he hung out with her and Tina for awhile. He was more trying to distract them from Bob and Midge's fghting. He left around 11:00 to let Donna have time before going to bed, and then cruised until 1:00. By the time he finally fell asleep, it was 4 in the morning and he slept in, until 7:30. Now he was sleeping in all of his classes.

"Donna told me about last night, it was soo cute!" Jackie squealed, making him cringe.

"What's cute?" Hyde asked, trying to keep his eyes open.

"Everything! Did you tell her you like her? Oh it would have been perfect!" Hyde scowled at her peppiness and rested his chee on his hand. "Hyde, if you want to date her, you have to tell her how to feel!" Jackie continued on. Hyde stared blankly at the girl, trying to figure out the quickest and most quiet way to kill her. Sometmes she wasn't so bad, half the time he tuned her out, but today he wasn't in the mood for her girly talk, or her talking.

"Jackie, she wants Forman, I'm not messing that up for her, wewouldn't be good together," He was more trying to convince himself that to get over he. It killed him to see Eric and Donna's modest flirting that everyone else but them could read. And he wanted them to be happy, even if it was together. But shouldn't he be happy as well? Sometimes it really seemed that she liked him also But other times i was like she barely noticed hm as a person besides 'Hyde'. He wanted a girl to like him for 'Steven' and call him that, rather thn a nickname all the guys called him.

"Well are you okay with that?" Why did she have to keep pressing the goddamn issue?

"Does it matter?" Hyde asked. Thankfully, before Jackie could answer, the bell rang, and he high tailed it out of the class room. Finally the talk of Donna as over with, and he could sit and joke around with his friends. On the last day of school, he didn't want to talk to some cheerleader about his downhill crush... he wanted to "fuck some shit up" as Kelso said yesterday. Now slamming his lockr door shut, he waited for Eric, Fez, Kelso, and Donna to meet up at the lockers. He was really missing out on Kelso's stupidity, and Fez's perviness.

"Just think; tomorrow we'll be sleeping in, because we don't have school!" Yep, there it was; he chuckled at Kelso's outburst from down the hall, and watched his friends silently as they rummaged through their lockers

"Uh, you would be anyway, Kelso. Tomorrow is Saturday." Eric replied, Kelso scoffed at that and shut his locker door.

"What. Ever. Eric, hey Hyde, can you pick me up tonight and hang out?"

"Uh sure, we can cruise and shit," Hyde replied, Eric looked at Hyde curiously, confused.

"You can't drive yet, you're only 15!" Hyde rolledhis eyes and gave a short nod at Donna as she met up with the small group.

"I can't, but it doesn't stop me. You wanna go with, Forman?" Eric sighed, contemplating on whether or not to risk it.

"We could take Fez to the reservoir!" Donna piped up, smiling at Hyde. That girl confused him on so many levels.

"I'm in!" Kelso cried, the five of them walking into the cafeteria. "'cept I think Jackie will want to come," Hyde grimaced, knee bouncing as he sat at the table.

"Fezzie?" Hyde asked, to find out whether or not he would be going with. Fez nodded, and Hyde grinned wider.

"It sounds pretty fun, Eric you _have _to go," Donna pressed, Hyde scowled and glanced down at the table, trying to calm his jealousy.

"Fine, I guess I'll go..."

Hyde began to tune out of the conversation as he stared at the exit sign at the top of the door. He began wondering why he even came to school today, other than to see his friends one more time before summer started. But then once summer started, he'd be seeing them everyday, or most of the days. Plus he was tired, and they weren't doing anything in school except cleaning out desks or lockers or helping some teachers pack or organize the class rooms. And he skipped at least a quarter of the year in some classes, surprisingly he managed to pass, but why would he come on the lamest of all days?

"We should totally skinny dip!" Hyde tuned back in, hearing Kelso's suggestion, and saw Fez tilt his head.

"What is this 'skinny dip'?" Hyde rolled his eyes at Fez's question and smiled, but hsi mind was still miles away from the conversation. He had it.

"Guys, I'm outta here... you can just come to my house after school," Hyde mumbled, standing up. He didn't really feel like going through the rest of the day, or seeing Eric and Donna flirt subconsciouly with each other.

"But we've still got three classes left!" Eric protested Hyde.

"It's the last day of school, man! Be there at 4:00, or no ride." He made his point and turned from his friends, walking out of the cafeteria. He momentarily glanced in the direction of a freshman who was talking animatedly to her stupid friends. He quickly looked away when some of her friends turned to look at him, then giggle. Hyde scowled at Jackie, who laughed the loudest and tucked his thumbs in the waist band of his jeans.

"Bitch," he mumbled to himself, eyes averted to the floor.

"Hey, Hyde!" He glanced up, Allen Parish, football dumbass, was standing, walking up to him. "Heard about your date with Double D! And you didn't score!"

"It wasn't a date, and shut up," Hyde warned.

"Yeah, bet not, 'cause you didn't nail her! How stupid are you to take out Donna Pinciotti and not nail her?" Hyde felt his fists clench; who had told. Once more he glanced at the freshman girls table and saw the group of giggling preps trying hard not to laugh hysterically at the scene before them.

"Unlike you, I respect women."

"Nah, if anything, you're a queer-" That was it. Hyde punched Allen square in the jaw, sending him intot he table. No one would talk about Donna like that, or call him queer. The entire room was silent, staring at Hyde and he shook his head. As he started walking like nothing happened, he raised both hands in the air, eight fingers tucked back to his palms as he exited the room. Fuck the world.

* * *

"I do not see why this is so cool, this is how we always swim back home," Hyde raised an eyebrow at Fez as he tossed his shirt in the back of his mom's station wagon.

"Fez, man, it's illegal here; indecent exposure, man." Hyde mumbled.

"Ahh... but you look decent!" Kelso, Eric, and Donna all burst out laughing while Hyde turned red.

"Uh... yeah..." Hyde mumbled, now tugging off his belt, unsure of what else to say to Fez. Pulling down his jeans, Hyde backed away from Fez when he saw him staring at his legs.

"Except _that_! You're legs are _glowing_!" Hyde rolled his eyes as his friends chortled once more.

"Yeah, yeah, laugh it up, Full Moon," Hyde barked at Eric who immediately shut up.

"Jackie, babe, you gotta get naked," Kelso said, tossing back his underwear. The 14 year old's jaw dropped in horror at her now nude boyfriend. "I know, it's great, huh?" Jackie made a face and turned around.

"Yeah, compared to the Japanese," Hyde replied jokingly, making his friends snicker.**_ (Author's Note: This is something Hyde would say, not me. So don't take offense.) _**Kelso gasped, his face reddening in embarrassment.

"Michael, I can't get naked with your friends here!" Jackie whined, Hyde rolled his eyes, wrapping a towel around his nude waist. Why oh why had Kelso said she'd want to come? Eric immediately copied Hyde, which made him chuckle.

"Well Donna did!" Kelso responded, glancing at the red head with a towel covering her, showing most of her thigh.

"Well other than the parts, she's practically a guy!" Donna rolled her eyes at the tiny girl, and Hyde just stared at the only clothed person.

"Jackie, there isn't anything to see, so don't worry," Hyde piped up with a smirk. Jackie stomped over to him and glared in his bare eyes.

"Easy for you to say, so... thank you!" Jackie chirped with a fake smile and tugged off his towel. Hyde's eyes widened as she de-clothed him, frozen in shock. Hearing his friends laugh hysterically and Kelso scream, "burn!" made Hyde come back down from his shock, and glared right into Jackie's wide eyes.

"You're dead, Burkhart," he growled lowly, then noticed where she was looking, "stop staring!" He barked, then awkwardly ran to the station wagon for another towel, not noticing her blush. After adjusting the new towel, Hyde rejoined his friends, Kelso was still laughing about his exposure.

"We saw your junk, man, all out in the open!" Kelso choked as he laughed, Hyde just raised an eyebrow.

"Yeah, Kelso, you're still naked. And here's the irony: you're _taller_, but I'm _bigger_." Kelso's face was absolutely priceless, which made all but Jackie fall into fits of giggles again.

"That-that is a _lie_, Hyde!" Kelso exclaimed, face almost purple in embarrassment.

"Actually, Kelso, Hyde is-"

"Let's go swimming!" Donna interrupted Fez, Hyde smiled smugly at Kelso, who looked defeated.

"What is it about size, anyway?" Jackie called from behind the car as she changed her clothes. The four teenage boys looked at one another and cracked up, while Donna tried her best not to.

"Okay, the size of a guy's junk is like how girls are with their boobs. Like how you're jealous of Pam Macy's," Kelso responded to his girlfriend. Jackie squealed at the mention of Pam, while Hyde had a little more information for Jackie; Kelso didn't exactly hit the spot. (**_haha_**)

"Not only that, but the bigger and thicker it is, the happier a woman is!" Eric and Fez nodded at Hyde's comment.

"So not true!" Kelso cried in defense, Donna rolled her eyes and smiled softly as she listened tot he developing conversation.

"Do you want my input?" Each of the boys slowly turned to Donna and nodded. "First, _you're all idiots_! Second, I don't think size matters for either gender, I think it's more of an ego boost. It's probably based on... I don't know... how _good _a person is? And third, stop talking about this and lets go swimming!"

At once everyone began to walk tot he reservoir, Hyde parked a little ways away. He thought back to the conversation they just had; it was a subject none of them had ever crossed before, especially with the girls. It was all because Jackie had stolen his towel because he said something. What had he said? A part of him thought maybe she had done it because she saw Kelso's and wanted to _compare_, but that was his whacko hormonal side. It had been a pretty funny conversation, and in all honestly, sadly he knew that though he was in fact bigger, it wasn't by much. (the sadly part; he had been an unfortunate witness to see a naked Kelso.)

Hyde felt a tap on his shoulder and he glanced down. He sighed in annoyance when seeing the short raven-haired girl standing by him.

"Hyde?" she asked so softly that he could barely hear her.

"What?" he grumbled, still walking, wincing as his foot slid on a jagged rock.

"You weren't lying," she whispered, her breath hot on the bare skin of his shoulder. At that, she hopped quickly, gracefully on the rocks to catch up with Kelso. Leaving Hyde stumbling on the rocks, confused, his skin tingling from her breath, and a very large... _ego_.

"Cold water, here I come," he whispered to himself.


	33. Dear Agony

_**Author's Note: Hello all! I suppose it's been a little while... I really don't know why it's taken me so long to update... but I've got 2 1/2 chapters down in my notebook so I guess that's good. It's crazy; next chapter we're into the series. And for the episodes I don't do, I'll be **__**putting**** in in between chapters and tie things in that happened in the episodes I skip over. **_

**_I also did a goof up. I calculated things and found out that I have been behind on the year and the ages, so bump everything up to '76 and everyone is a year older than last chapter (So Hyde is 16, Eric is 17, Donna is 17, Kelso is 17, almost 18, Fez is almost 16, and Jackie is almost 15), but 'a year later' didn't happen. _**

**_This one takes place right after The Pilot, I decided I'm not going to do a chapter for The Pilot, because I can't really think of anything good for it. Let's say, since The Pilot's date was May 17th, that this one is the 19th... the day after Eric's birthday. And they're out of school- (previous chapter) _**

**_Question: The Keg is next, and that skips up to September. Should I put a chapter in between? I have an idea on what the chapter would be, but I want to know what you think._**

**_Thanks for reading and reviewing people. You're all incredible. _**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie._**

**_PS: Hi Mary. Don't tell Mom. _**

**_Disclaimer: This one is a bit dark _**

* * *

_I have nothing left to give, I have found the perfect end. You were made to make it hurt, disappear into the dirt. Carry me to heaven's arms, light the way and let me go. Take the time to take my breath, I will end where I began. And I will find the enemy within, because I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Dear Agony, just let go of me. Suffer slowly, is this the way it's got to be? Suddenly the lights go out, let forever drag me down. I will fight for one last breath, I will fight until the end, and I will find the enemy within because I can feel it crawl beneath my skin. Leave me alone, God let me go. I'm blue and cold; black sky will burn. Love pull me down, hate lift me up, just turn around; there's nothing left. And I will find the enemy within, because I can feel it crawl beneath my skin... I feel nothing anymore..._

"Forman, seriously, ease up on the brakes, your freakin' me out, man!" Hyde barked in the passenger seat, clutching on to the handle on the door. He really missed being able to drive, but ever since Eric got his license, he'd been the one to take over driving... even though Kelso had his, no one let him. But, because the Vista Cruiser was undergoing maintenance from Red, Hyde had been nice and let Eric borrow his mom's station wagon, though when he told Edna, she was tripping so she probably wouldn't remember.

"Well then, you drive!" Eric snapped back, pressing harder on the gas, which only made Hyde more nauseous. He scowled and stared out his rolled down window; the twilight sky was almost dark, except a fiery line of red about the horizon. Hyde's favorite time of day. Or night.

He had been growing edgier since Eric had been going on and on about kissing Donna, and her going on and on about kissing Eric. The whole idea of them finally acting on their feelings made him sick to his stomach... but he knew he had no choice. It had been his fault to sit, waiting for the perfect moment to tell her his feelings, but when the time did come, he had been too late. Now he had to pay the price for that, and the price was more than he could give. Yet as their best friend, he had to be happy for them; they'd liked each other since God knows when, and they finally knew. Now he just had to stay silent and forget about his feelings... since when had that become so hard?

"I would, but you freak out 'cause I don't have my license!" Hyde retorted, his lip curling downward as he glared at Eric.

On top of Eric and Donna's blooming relationship, Hyde had to deal with Edna. Eric had picked him up at a very bad time; he and Edna were at each other's throats, and on top of that she was way over the moon. She had gotten out of prison a week ago, and as soon as she stepped foot in the home, she raised hell on the place that had actually improved in cleanliness and appearance since she was gone. Hyde had found himself in some weird alternate universe; he was screaming at his mom for trashing the house and 'acting like a fucking whore.' But shouldn't she be disciplining him instead? To simplify his life right now; it sucked. And Forman's crappy driving was only making things worse.

"Ease up, man, ease up!" Hyde exclaimed, lurching forward from Eric braking.

"Will you shut up?" Eric hissed, Hyde scowled and bent his knees, arms wrapped on his legs, feet planted on the seat.

"Aii, I think I'm going to be sick," Fez whined from the back seat. Hyde just stared out the windshield, the empty highway seemed so vast. He found interest in the road as he watched the car eat the yellow dashes in the road. Dash, dash, dash, dash... Hyde found this very amusing, and no, he didn't hit the circle. He hadn't noticed anything odd until the 64th dash, when he saw something big and dark scuttle on the highway. Hyde gazed at the animal intently, as it used its small pays to rub its black, pointy nose, striped tail curled around its body.

"Eric, watch out!" Hyde's eyes widened at Eric's reaction to Kelso's scream. In an instant, the tail of the car was swerving, fishtailing off to the shoulder, and Hyde's head smacked hard against the door as they spun to a halt; no seatbelt. Everything was fuzzy, his hearing and vision, as he blinked. In the back, he heard Kelso and Fez groaning in pain or complaining, and Eric was frozen in shock, ashen, and stone-eyed.

"Forman, you okay man?" Hyde asked softly, holding the right side of his forehead. A throbbing headache already began, and his head felt sticky...

"I think I killed it," The 17 year old whimpered, Hyde rolled his eyes and groaned, wrinkling his nose in both pain and annoyance.

"You hit a raccoon man, big deal. I'm gonna be fucked if there's any damage to the wagon," Hyde groaned; Edna would kill him if he even put a dent in the car. Opening his door, he slowly slipped out, feeling a bit dizzy. He stumbled as he walked from the top of the ditch, to the shoulder of the road, examining every inch of the car. When finding not even a scratch, he sighed with relief; no Edna attack. "You're in luck..." he trailed off, now glancing inside the car. "Forman?" No one was in there... wouldn't he have heard them if they got out?

"-I think it's dead," Hyde turned his attention to where he heard Kelso's voice. He found the three huddled over something in the road; the raccoon. Was that all they cared about?

"Poor beautiful creature," Fez whimpered, Hyde rolled his eyes as he began walking up to his friends.

"Hey, Eric, catch!" Kelso cried, tossing the animal.

"Oh God, sick!" Yet he caught it anyway. Hyde's jaw dropped when he saw the raccoon snarl.

"Eric, it's-" The scream from his friend told him he found out the hard way. It still attacked him, even when he dropped it; Hyde couldn't even move because he was so freaked out. Eric's foot kicked the raccoon away, but towards Kelso, who shrieked as it bared its teeth.

Hyde came back to reality when he saw Eric doubled over on the ground, a pool of blood slowly covering the asphalt.

_'Please be from the coon,'_Hyde thought, biting his lip. Hyde cried, rushing to his friend who was quietly whimpering. "Hey man, c'mon, in the car," He held out his hand, and with a shaky arm, Eric held on as Hyde pulled him up. "When you get in, put your leg on the dashboard, kepp it elevated to slow the blood flow," Eric chuckled as Hyde spoke, trying to act like he wasn't in pain.

"You sound just like mom," Hyde smirked as he opened the door for Eric, then helped the older boy into the passenger seat.

"Yeah, well I learn from the best," Hyde mumbled, gotta save Kelso's ass now. Hyde slammed the door shut as he ran tot he other side, watching Kelso and Fez try to get the raccoon away.

"Just get in the fuckin' car, we gotta go!" Hyde called to them, noting Kelso was in worse shape than Eric.

_'Why do I always save them?' _he asked himself, giving a light shove to Fez, who got the hint and quickly climbed in the back seat. _'Oh yeah, they're all a bunch of pansies,_' Hyde answered himself, instantly standing in front of Kelso. Hyde gave a swift kick to the raccoon, who was about to attack his boot, sending it to the middle of the highway. "Hold on to me, man!" Hyde growled to Kelso, who looked about ready to throw up and pass out. Hyde wrapped his arm around his waist, and felt him lean on him, barely moving his feet as Hyde dragged him to the car. Fez opened the door for him, and helped Hyde sit Kelso down in his seat. "Make sure he's alright," he told Fez, who nodded, smiling admiringly up at Hyde.

As he sat in the driver's seat, he started the ignition quickly and glanced out the back window, checking for any cars. Switching the shift to drive, he swiftly turned the wheel to the left, and spun around, doing a U-turn. As soon as the car straightened out on the other side of the road, he straightened the wheel.

"Where are we going?" Eric asked feebly from the seat next to him. Hyde turned to him and raised an eyebrow.

"The hospital, you moron," Hyde barked, checking the rear view mirror before speeding down the road.

Why did he always get hit with this shit?

* * *

"You let Eric drive?"

"Steven, what were you thinking?"

"You're such a dumbass that you're not even a dumbass."

"You could have killed my baby!"

"It was illegal; you dumbasses driving, and a raccoon? For God's sake!

"How do you feel about this? It's your fault!"

"Stop it, stop it!" Hyde cried in his sleep, eyes popping open. He hadn't even seen the Forman's yet, didn't know how long he had been out, but knew they'd be super pissed when they did catch the sight of him. Hyde could only imagine their anger towards him as they yelled at him; and they would have every right to. He shouldn't have let Eric drive the station wagon, they should have just stuck around in the basement until Red finished the Vista Cruiser. A killer headache began to painfully beat in his head, and he sighed weakly, glancing around the room.

Getting to the hospital hadn't been easy. They found out the hard way that Fez couldn't handle blood, and the car was filled with the smell. Five minutes into the drive, Fez had thrown up in the backseat, so now there was the awful stench of vomit and blood. Eric couldn't stomach the two smells, so he upchucked out the window. When Hyde didn't think things could go any worse, Kelso had jumped out of the car, because of a stupid dog... resulting in a broken arm. Hyde had his nose plugged the rest of the way and wouldn't even look at his friends, otherwise _he'd _throw up.

Two hours later, he had just woken up in the waiting room, barely awake and growing impatient. It shouldn't have taken this long for Eric and Kelso to get their rabies shots. And where the hell was Fez? Hyde stood up, his body sore and a wave of dizziness passed through him. he hadn't had his head checked out, but knew there wasn't anything wrong... it just hurt like hell. Being alone in the hospital freaked him out, he wanted to fnd out how his friends were, and where they were. Hyde cleared his throat as he walked up to the front desk.

"Excuse me, could you tell me how Eric Forman and Michael Kelso are doing, and what rooms they're in?" The receptionist sighed, glanced up at him, then began flipping through a stack of papers.

"Right now they're in room 204 being questioned," Hyde tilted his head, a sinking feeling flipped his stomach.

"Questioned?"

"By the police, something about a stolen car with drug paraphernalia," Hyde's heart pounded in his head, what little color had been in his face, had drained completely. He felt detached, paranoid, beyond terrified as he rand own the hall, to find the room. Edna must have reported the car stolen, though she had known he had taken it. But he didn't know there were drugs in the car. Why hadn't he seen them? All he knew was he couldn't let his friends get in trouble with the law.

Hyde sat down out side of the room once he found it, trying to listen to what was being said.

"-jumped out of the car to pet the dog and, come on, Hyde didn't break my arm! He was driving!" Oh no...

"Does he have his license?"

"No-"

"But he was the only one capable of driving, it was an emergency," Eric quickly filled in after Kelso.

"and Mr..."

"Fez,"

"Fez... did you know there were illegal drugs in the car?"

"No I did not, I doubt Hyde even knew, it's his mother's car."

"We'll see about that when we speak to him," Hyde felt about ready to finally throw up when he heard the officer speak. He couldn't talk with cops, he'd go insane with rage, then he'd be screwed for sure. Either way he was... well... royally fucked. He glanced up as the door opened two police officers walked out, one hefty with a very large, poofy moustache, the other looking very small and squinty. They looked down at the teen and he scratched at his arm, nervous.

"Are you Steven Hyde?" The hefty one asked, with a very wheezy voice.

"Uh... yeah...?" A pair of arms yanked on his shirt sleeves and he whimpered, flashbacks of Bud passing through his eyes. "Let go of me, what the hell?" he asked, struggling to break free from his grasp; yet the police officer held on to him with surprising strength. His eyes flashed wildly, and he breathed heavily, panic rising.

"Steven Hyde, you are under arrest for vehicle theft, as well as-"

"What? No way, man! It's my mom's-"

"Put your hands behind your back, you have the right to remain silent-"

"I have the right, but I won't," The skinny cop tugged hard on his arms, Hyde winced as his muscles pulled. He slowly turned to the open room; Eric, Fez, Kelos, Donna, Jackie, and the Formans were watching this scene with horrified faces, Kitty was crying, and Eric held Donna. Nausea clouded him and he bowed his head, the ones he cared about shouldn't have to see this.

"Wait!" he heard Mrs. Forman call through her tears, "he hasn't been checked by the hospital! He could be severely injured!" If he wasn't bound to throw up, he would have thanked her, even for the attempt of freeing him.

"He seems fine, ma'am, but if anything occurs downtown, we'll bring him in." His eyes met with each and every person in the room, silently pleading for the them to help, but he knew they couldn't do anything. He felt so ashamed of himself. His friends just stared with wide eyes at the sight of their friend being dragged off by the police.

"What about _my _questioning, man?" Hyde asked through gritted teeth, hesitantly allowing the cops to lead him down the hall.

* * *

"Mom, I seriously didn't steal the car... I told you we were borrowing it. Can you come get me?" Hyde asked into the phone.

"Dammit Steven! How did you fuckin' do this? I don't have the money, and I've asked to much from Ed..."

"You're my one fucking call, ma! And I'm your son and in here because of you. They think I do the coke and crank, ma!" Hyde fired back, punching the wall. "Don't make my one call be a waste," He begged into the phone.

Hyde hadn't thought his day could get any worse when he pulled into the hospital. He thought the blood and throw up and potentially rabid raccoon had been more than enough. But the cops proved him wrong; and by the looks of it, he was actually going to be stuck here.

"Mom, for one night, the _only _time I've asked you to do something for me-"

"I'll see what I can do." Edna spoke flatly, hanging up the phone. She had hung up on him.

"FUCKING BITCH!" Hyde shouted, pounding his fist on the wall multiple times. She was going to let her own son rot in prison? Hyde sat on the chair, elbows bent on his knees, head in his hands as he breathed slowly. Why wouldn't she say anything to the cops that the car was hers, and not stolen? He had proof that it wasn't, and he was her son, for God's sake. The police seriously hated him or something; he was just a kid, why would he want to steal a car?

"Follow me, Mr. Hyde, now, when we get into the room, give me all your belongings." He heard one of the guards call to him.

"What'll you do with them?"

"We'll put them away until you're released. After that, we need to check you, then give you your linens-"

"But if you take all my stuff, I wont have anything on me. I dont' have anything on me." The guard just gave him a look and opened the door to the room. "Wait a..." Realization dawned on him. "Come on, man, why would I do _that_? I'm not doing drugs and if I were I wouldn't be _that _desperate!"

"It's protocol," Hyde just shook his head as he undressed himself. Unfortunately, this wasn't just some fucked up dream that he was having that took a downward spiral fast. This was cold hard reality. Why was he the only one who was always guilty? Eric had been the one who was driving, yet Hyde was the one getting an unnecessary nude frisking. Hyde bit back his lip hard, spreading his arms and legs, and closed his eyes, trying to block it out.

He was at the Formans. Hanging out with the gang, just joking around. He was in the basement, watching stupid movies or reruns, eating popcorn and laughing his ass off. Kelso was being a moron, Eric uptight and twitchy, Fez confused and very curious, Donna beautiful, and Jackie bitchy. But he missed her annoying helium voice, Kelso's stupid comments, Fez's questions, even Eric and Donna's progressive flirting.

No, he wasn't in a freezing cement room, painted white, naked. he wasn't about to go to jail because Edna's a bitch and wouldn't confirm he was her son. And there wasn't a fat guard touching his ass, either.

_It's easy to convince yourself these things when your eyes are closed._

"All right, you're clean, you've got a two minute shower, then to your cell," Hyde laughed sarcastically and quickly pulled away the towel and white shirt and pants the guard had brought in.

He couldn't believe he was actually going to jail. Hyde never wanted to be like his parents, yet here he was now because not even they gave two shits about him and wouldn't admit he was their screw up son. Who would want to bail him out, anyway? Why would someone want to waste their money on him, when he'd just be back here sometime?

Why wasn't he like Forman? Why'd didn't he get he brains or the family or the morals? Why couldn't he just be the good kid who wanted to do something right once in his life? He always tried to do good, yet it somehow always fell apart. He always took the fall for everyone, so they wouldn't look bad. Hyde wondered what his friends had said exactly... he couldn't think that about him. They wouldn't blame it on him... they just don't know how to talk to cops.

Hyde sighed heavily as he finished putting on the outfit he had been given; at least there wasn't some stupid orange jumpsuit.

'That bitch better get here soon,' Hyde thought angrily, walking back to the guard.

"All jewelry off," Hyde glared at the guard, taking off his ring.

"Keep them safe, they're special." Hyde mumbled, untying the home made necklace. 'If they were still alive, I'd so call grandma and grandpa,' Hyde thought, taking out the backs of his earrings. H probably wouldn't even be in this mess if they were here. He'd be happily living int heir home, probably have a nice car and his license.

Hyde followed the guard to his cell, he soffed at that; his cell. Thankfully, he didn't share one with anybody, but just the thought of sleeping here... it scared the crap out of him.

"Sleep well kid," the guard said, locking the door.

Hyde sat on the floor, staring vacantly out of the bars. He brought his knees to his chest and hugged himself tightly. He never thought he'd actually have to use the advice Edna had told him whenever she came back from prison.

"Don't make skin contact with the bed."

"Don't fight back."

"Avoid eye contact."

Hyde felt caged, like an uncontrollable animal who was branded, quarantined from society while he was innocent. He felt dirty, filthy, completely impure, almost like he felt about Edna. This wasn't who he wanted to be, this was what he tried so hard to fight against becoming. Hyde hadn't done one damn thing wrong; yet here he was now; staring through his own jail cell. He never thought he'd see the day...

What if this was who he was supposed to be? What if this was the beginning of countless other visits, stays here? If this was destiny, how long could he fight it off? Could he fight it? It seemed less and less likely in his already dim future that was closing on him faster and faster. But he wanted to fight. He wanted to prove he could actually be something, somebody. That he could do something right just once in his life. But what was the point if being an inmate was inevitable?

Why was he here, rather than a juvenile facility? He'd feel a hell of a lot safer. Wait, he shouldn't even be here at all! Hyde took a deep breath and played with the cuff of his sleeve. Too afraid and upset to try and sleep, he stared at his own hand and started counting the white lines that went up his arm. In his boredom, he decided to count his scars. The size and color of each varied, some were from childhood, others Bud, himself, or just messing around. Some were smooth and barely visible, yet others were like welts that were still red. A total of 58 on each arm... he wondered if that was good or not...

"All you need is love, all you need is love," he sang so softly, he could barely here himself. God, he was so bored that he was singing The Beatles. If he sang Abba, then he'd find a way to kill himself.

What was he supposed to do until he was tired, play tic tac toe or rock paper scissors by himself? It would take him hours to fall asleep, he didn't know what time it was, but figured he wouldn't be able to sleep until he was supposed to get up. Did he have a time to get up?

When Hyde closed his eyes, he saw himself standing in a downpour, a younger him, yet just as troubled. He knew that day. It had been the day Bud had left, he had been so scared and confused, but so happy at the same time. Why was he remembering that, was it just boredom? He didn't want to remember those days, they only hurt him more. He had felt lost, frozen, trapped, like a prisoner in his own home. And now he was a prisoner. It was all the same.

* * *

"You're in luck," Hyde glanced up from his curled position on the floor. He was tormented by the past, remembered today, he trembled at the spot, unresponsive. How long he had been out like this, he had no idea. He hadn't been sleeping; just beyond bored and freaked out that he slowly slipped inside the catatonic prison inside his mind; where the ghosts of his past, more like poltergeists were trapped, locked up, haunting their chambers with such anger, such emptiness.

"Hey, kid! Someone is here to get you!" Hyde slowly glanced up and gazed at the guard, who looked angry. For a moment his face looked just like Bud, but then molded into his own, and he relaxed. Surprisingly, Edna must have gotten off her trip and set her priorities straight.

Hyde stood up, his bones popping loudly as he did so, limbs tingling. As he walked out, the guard just laughed at him while shaking his head.

"You should be glad you got out so early, kid." Hyde rolled his eyes as he followed him back to the holding room, where he'd get his stuff.

"I shouldn't be here," he mumbled flatly, voice distant.

"Well you're getting out, anyway, so don't complain." Hyde bit his tongue to keep from saying anything that could get him in trouble.

_'You're just being an asshole because you're pissed off about how shitty your life has turned out and you can't go a day without your booze and donuts and your daughter hates you.'_ Hyde thought, glaring at the back of the guards head.

Hyde tossed off the outfit they had given him; good riddance, and waited to get his clothes. He knew no matter what that he wasn't going to forget this night. It was almost surreal; now he actually had a criminal record because of Edna. Not that he hadn't done stuff before; he'd been stealing since he was 8, and burned down Old Maine. Plus lots of trenching. He could have understood being brought in for something like that, but he was here because of Edna.

"Here's your belongings, I'll be waiting out here," The guard said, Hyde gave a grunt in response and immediately put on his ring and necklace.

As Hyde changed into his jeans and t-shirt, he had a thought; would he have to go to court for this? Would he be put o probation or unable to get his license until he was 18? How much grief was he going to get from Edna? Even though she had no right to be mad, she would be, he knew exactly what she'd say.

"You're just like Bud, it makes me sick; soon you'll be shooting up and snorting lines just like him!"

"Yeah, just like you, too," Hyde would say back. But it scared him... would she be right? Was he becoming the man that he couldn't stand? The next time he looked in the mirror, would he see more of Bud than he used to? Would he see a heartless man who didn't care? He was growing angrier and colder each day, and more violent... Hyde closed his eyes and took a shaky breath. He would never become that monster.

After retying his boots, Hyde picked up the box his clothes were in, and rolled up the shirt and pants in it before walking out. His feet rubbed hard against the inside heel of his shoes, cutting into his skin. Silently, Hyde handed the container to the guard, who just smiled at him.

"Stay out of trouble, kid," he mumbled, and without another word, walked him to the front of the station.

Hyde did a double take. It wasn't Edna, high on her ass who came to bail him out. he should have known because you could smell the alcohol, cigarettes, and drugs that were her perfume a mile away. Hyde stopped dead in his tracks when he saw a very grumpy, tired looking Red Forman, and a sad, teary eyed smiling Kitty Forman.

"Steven!" Kitty cried through her running tears, running up to him, squeezing him tightly in a hug. Hyde held on to her closely, burying his head in her shoulders, trying so hard not to be just like her, shaking as he tried to stop his sobs and tears. He was half relieved, half upset that it was the Formans who had bailed him out. They had to see him down here, the bad apple of the group, plus they had paid for his bail, they didn't need to do that. He didn't want them to see him in jail, he already felt low as it is, the parents of Opie only made him feel worse. but Mrs. Forman hugged him made him feel safe, comforted, finally. Like a mother should always make their child feel; so he wouldn't let go.

Kitty kissed his cheek as she finally pulled away from him, and laughed.

"Come on, sweetie," she chirped, holding his hand tightly, "Oh I hope they weren't too mean to you. It was just awful seeing them take you away. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, it's so unfair," Hyde smiled as she continued to gush, and shrugged his shoulders.

"It was Edna's fault, I told her I was going to borrow the car, though I don't have my license, which is why For-Eric drove. And she didn't confirm it with the police..." Red sighed heavily as Hyde spoke, gazing at the teen sadly. Hyde didn't want them to pity him, he just wanted comfort.

"Steven, your mother... she... you know how she is." Hyde chuckled at Mr. Forman's attempt at advice. "She'll look back on these years and realize a life she threw away, a great life that could have saved her. Now we know you wouldn't steal your mother's car, and you weren't doing those drugs, which is why we came and got you-"

"How much was bail?" Hyde piped up in the back seat of the Toyota. Mr. Forman had said a lot of things he wished he could believe, but he just couldn't He was Edna's biggest mistake that ruined her life and always would be.

"Steven," Kitty clucked, "you don't need to worry about that-"

"I just want to know... please?" Hyde asked, the emotion in his voice shocked him... why did he sound so little, so... vulnerable?

"It was enough to piss me off," Hyde lowered his head, feeling like shit for the Formans to bail him out; they shouldn't have had to, especially since they were running low on money. He wanted to pay them back, he had the money to do it, it was important enough to use what his grandparents gave him. "Locking an innocent kid up, ha! If that's our city's law enforcement, then they'll be getting an ass kicking so hard they'll end up in Korea and get what they deserve," Red grumbled, "what dumbasses."

So Red hadn't been upset because of him... but for him? That made Hyde feel a little better. He had a feeling they wouldn't tell him how much bail was, but he'd pay them, anyway. As soon as he got home.

"How are Eric and Kelso?" Hyde asked, actually concerned about his friends. He felt bad that he had forgotten, but it seemed so long ago that that had happened, but really it was only 6 hours. Today had been beyond surreal; it was just fucked up. Like he excepted to wake up after one long acid trip.

"They're fine, both are back home, more worried about you," Kitty answered, then laughed. Hyde gave her a pained smile; they were worried about him? While they were sitting at home after being attacked by a raccoon, and on top of that, Kelso jumped out of the car and broke his arm. Compared to what he had just been through actually sounded... hilarious. Had he been high during that, or did it actually happen? Suppressing his laughter, Hyde coughed and bit back his bottom lip. At the time it had been freaky, but now it was just hysterical; though the guys wouldn't laugh about it until Kelso's arm was fixed.

"Steven, did they ever look at your head?" Mrs. Forman asked suddenly.

"Uh, no, why?"

"Well you hit it pretty hard, from what Eric told me. When we get home, I'll take a look at it, then I'll dish you up some dinner, then off to bed!"

It was weird. Mrs. Forman went out of her way to make sure he was okay, and Mr. Forman bailed him out of jail. When his mom never took care of him when he was hurt or in jail and his dad abused him, then left him. The Formans were like his real parents, he actually felt like somebody with them; they actually cared about how he was feeling and if he was okay. And when Kitty said 'home', he didn't think of his shack of a home with trash everywhere and a permanent haze from the smoke. He thought of the warm living room of the Formans, sitting with Kitty drinking her hot cocoa, like when he first stayed the night. Or nowadays, sitting and chilling in the basement with the gang. That was home to him, and it always would be. That was the place he was the brightest, and one of the only good places he felt that he belonged.

"Kitty, maybe Steven just wants to sleep, he's had a rough day," Red murmured, glancing back momentarily at him. Hyde smiled.

"Well, if that's what he wants..." Kitty trailed off as they pulled in the driveway.

As Hyde closed his door, Mrs. Forman stepped out of the car, Mr. Forman already to the sliding glass door. The 16 year old cleared his throat and Kitty glanced up at him.

"Mrs. Forman... I was wondering if... uh... I could have some hot cocoa." Kitty beamed at Hyde and he smiled back, then to her surprise, he hugged her.

"Of course you can! You and I can go sit and talk like we used to, if you want!" Hyde felt his smile lift even more.

"Thank you, m-" Hyde stopped himself, he told himself that it wouldn't happen again. "Mrs. Forman," he corrected. Kitty smiled and patted his shoulder, and for some reason, he felt she knew he meant more within his words.


	34. Crawling

_**Author's Note: Ahh... finally a new chapter. If you all saw the previous note that I put as a chapter, then that explains just about everything I would put in here. I'm so excited to finally be able to update, my fingers are going keyboard happy on me and can't contain themselves. This chapter is really dark and there is some mention of past things that will definitely tie up what Hyde wouldn't tell people, like Donna (reference to the Airplanes chapter and what happened in Howard's Tale) if you were wondering. That's about it though. I hope you enjoy!**_

_**Also, thanks to new information from nannygirl, I made a mistake again. Instead of them being a year older than I originally had, they go back to the original ages that I had so... Kelso- 16, Donna-16, Eric-16, Hyde-15, Jackie-14, Fez-15.**_

_**Love Always,**_

_**Angie**_

**_PS: Study hall= more updates. Ka-ching! :P_**

* * *

_There's something inside me that pulls beneath the surface; consuming, confusing. This lack of self-control I fear is never ending, controlling. I can't seem to find myself again; my walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure. Crawling in my skin, these wounds, they will not heal. Fear is how I fall, confusing what is real. Discomfort, endlessly has pulled itself upon me; distracting. Reacting against my will I stand beside my own reflection; it's haunting how I can't seem to find myself again my walls are closing in. Without a sense of confidence, I'm convinced that there's just too much pressure to take. I've felt this way before, so insecure..._

The coffee maker gurgled loudly in the kitchen as Hyde dragged his practically half asleep body through he small, cluttered room. Dirty dishes were scattered along the counter top, and wrappers of frozen food and beer cans littered the stained linoleum. His head rested against the warm freezer door even though he needed to get into the fridge for some food. He didn't know why he was tired, nine hours of sleep was rare for Hyde, but all he wanted to do was lay on hi s mattress and completely conk out.

Edna was at her biannual trip to the police station; he got the call last night at one in the morning. He had started laughing on the phone when he got a call from the cops. Apparently, they thought it best for her to go to rehab, but they didn't have the money. Hyde had told them that a week in solitary would do her good. He didn't mind having the house to himself; it was nice and quiet and he could do whatever he wanted. Hopefully she'd stay in jail for awhile so he wouldn't have to deal with her for awhile.

The fifteen year old groaned drowsily, eyes blurry from sleep and he yawned loudly. Another good thing about Edna being in prison was that he could walk around in his pajamas freely; which today was his cotton white boxers.

It was unusual for Hyde to be up this early in the morning, especially for summer. While 8:15 was normal for most people to wake up, for Hyde that was pretty much the time that he fell asleep. Unfortunately though, Eric was returning from his vacation today, and was making everyone go to his house extra early; as long as he got some of Mrs. Forman's cooking, he would be okay.

Once his coffee was finished brewing, Hyde poured himself a steaming cup of joe. He contemplated on adding sugar, yet decided to just take it black, better effect. Taking a gulp from the steaming drink, he felt the scalding liquid burn his throat, but he didn't mind. Taking the cup back to his room, he cracked his window open a tad, so a ventilating system would release the smoke that would soon permeate the room. To be honest, about 18 hours of the day, Hyde was high. And his selection of drugs had grown just a bit more than the grass. He kept most of the dutchie for the circle, but he did hit that most often, because mellow was what he was looking for. But he had his own dealer up in Kenosha, not a burnt out drunk asshole like his mom's, but a kid who was just a few years older than himself. He didn't do heroin and meth like his mom, amphetamines weren't his thing. But hallucinogens were. Sometimes he got so twisted off of acid, he thought he was at school naked when he was really sitting at the couch. Or he thought that there was a blue monkey flinging around in his room when there was nothing, and then he'd pass out. Those trips were fun. And on a rare, yet special occasion, he dipped into shrooms. Yet most of the time it was just pot.

Hyde sat at the edge of his broken mattress, his knees bent upwards and his feet spread in opposite directions. Under his mattress was a small cloth bag that he kept his drug paraphernalia in. Pulling out his pipe and plastic baggie full of his stash, Hyde carefully packed the grounds in the pipe. Coffee long forgotten, Hyde lit the pot and breathed in slowly, the smoke filling his lungs, until he felt it burn at his throat. Holding in the smoke, he tapped his foot out of boredom, feeling rather lonely. It was weird to smoke all by himself in a quiet room, maybe he'd turn on his radio, but there was something about the solitude. Sometimes he absolutely loved toking by himself, it was so calm and peaceful. But he loved circle time so much more, the conversations with the guys were just hilarious and right now he needed some humor, or at least a break to forget about the events of last night.

He had been a week out of prison when his mom had been arrested, that was last night. He knew she wouldn't be back for awhile, thank God. It had been her fault that she got arrested; she had gotten pissed at him for some ridiculous reason; he left the toilet seat up after he took a piss. And last night she was completely fucked up from alcohol and her drugs, and last night just happened to be the rare time where she got physical and abusive. He ended up with a gnarly puncture wound from his own knife in his side, and a pretty big fat lip. And because it was her, deep inside he felt that she had every right to hurt him, to hate him. He ruined everything for her, and not just her stupid water skiing career. So he allowed her to.

And since she beat him, since she left in a rage and got pulled over, drunk, he had been alone with his own thoughts and that was definitely not good. The visits to the Forman residence were null because they had been on vacation for the past week to celebrate Laurie's graduation. But now they were back, and Eric was having everyone over to hang out, and he promised a huge breakfast. Normally, Hyde would be over the moon to eat anything Kitty cooked, even old leftovers that he had snuck before, but the thought of food really put him off today.

After hit after hit of the pipe, Hyde finally exhaled his last huff. He grimaced as he folded his baggie, then stuffed it in his blue bag, along with the pipe. The fifteen year old set a couple of rolled joints on his bed, later to be put in his pockets once he was dressed, in case they had a circle, which he hoped they would.

Now his eyes turned back to the white cup of coffee that was still probably warm. His high self didn't know if he wanted to drink it, but his tired self won the case and his hand reached out for the mug. As he guzzled down the dark drink, Hyde stared at the floor, backed way beyond comprehension, and just sat there. What the hell were they going to do at Forman's? And was he going to be up for it? He itched to dabble with the acid, yet he didn't want to be tripping whilst with his friends, they'd be beyond freaked out, as well as he.

He sighed softly, now slowly pacing his room as he racked his brain, trying to think of what he had been about to do. It was important, and on the tip of his tongue, yet the answer was just out of his reach. Hyde absentmindedly slipped his boots on the wrong feet and walked out of his room, scratching his head in confusion. As he opened the screen door, Hyde stuffed his hands in his pockets and stopped dead in his tracks, noticing two things. One, the joints weren't in his pockets, they were still on the bed. And also, the big one; he didn't have any pockets, because-

"I'm not wearing any pants!" Hyde chortled, finally his memory caught up to him. He turned around, face red from his laughing fit and stumbled back into his bedroom to dress himself.

Digging around in his self made dresser, Hyde finally found his only pair of jeans and stumbled as he attempted to put them on. Thankfully, the belt was already through the loops, he just had to slip the two ends together. And he needed socks, and to switch his shoes around as well.

Before he left, he made sure to slip the joints in his pocket, as well as his lighter. Hopefully he wasn't forgetting anything else, and if he did, he'd make Forman drive him back home. As Hyde closed the door once again, he glanced back at his house and shook his head

* * *

Twenty minutes later in the June air, Hyde walked up to the sliding glass door of the Forman's. He was thankful for the sunglasses, especially today, but little did he know, the gang knew something was up.

"Hey," he mumbled, voice sounded airy, yet gruff. His five friends, who were gathered around the kitchen table with heaping plates of food just stared at him. The girls' eyes were wide and full of concern, that also included Eric, while Fez and Kelso were laughing hysterically.

"What's up with you?" Jackie asked, nose wrinkled, he rolled his eyes, yet was confused.

"Huh?" he replied, Donna chuckled softly, taking a sip from her orange juice.

"First off, you're passed baked," Eric mumbled.

"Where's your shirt?" Kelso cried, Hyde's hands quickly flew to his abs, where there was in fact, no clothing, and managed to knock off his glasses in the process.

"Ai..." Fez whimpered as everyone just gawked at their currently messed up friend.

"I knew I forgot something," Hyde finally spoke, making Kelso and Fez laugh once more, yet the other three didn't find this funny at all.

"What's that?" Donna pointed to the scabbed hole right under his rib where Edna had punctured him.

"Edna stabbed me, it's all good though," When he started laughing, none of them joined in. "Gave me a fat lip too... but she's in jail, so-"

"What?" The group exclaimed, Eric stood up, next to him and began to walk out of the room.

"Hyde, come on, you need a shirt," Hyde shrugged and followed Eric through the living room in silence. "Seriously, man, what'd you do? How much?"

"I'm obliviated, man," Hyde replied, then started laughing, Eric rolled his eyes and sneered as he shook his head, dragging Hyde by the arm up the carpeted stairs to his room.

Eric was a little worried about Hyde, this didn't seem like the normal circle shit; Hyde always acted normal, or close to normal at least when he did pot. This was like something worse, where he wouldn't have any control, like now. Like the pot was laced, or he tried some of Edna's stuff. But Eric knew how Hyde felt about Edna's drugs, he'd never do them. So what the hell was his friend on?

"Hyde, you're sure you just did pot?" Hyde nodded slowly, Eric noted he looked a bit pale and his forehead was damp with sweat. Hyde shivered and blinked drowsily, then nodded once more. What was the question? "Where'd you get it?"

"Kenosha," he mumbled, leaning back on Forman's bed. This felt so much better than a broken mattress.

"Is it the stuff we do?" Hyde was seriously getting sick of Eric's questions, wasn't he just supposed to get a shirt and join everyone else again? He watched as Forman searched through his drawers for something that Hyde would wear, which was quite difficult; they had way different styles of clothing.

"Yeah?" The questioning of hi sown answer made Eric uneasy about his friend.

"So... why is Edna in jail?" Hyde stared up at the ceiling and scoffed, folding his arms over his stomach.

"Drunk driving, it's cool though," Eric chuckled at Hyde and tossed him a plain black shirt.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, thanks for the shirt, Forman." Hyde murmured, quickly wriggling into the shirt. He knew that wasn't what Eric had meant, but Hyde wasn't a talker, they all knew that. And Forman's questions were serioulsy pissing him off. He didn't talk, he bottled them in... they all knew that. Eric just needed to back off, he was already in risky territory. Or if Eric had been talking about the drugs, Hyde had been lying. He knew that stuff wasn't pure marijuana, yet Forman didn't need to know that. He had smoked pot, so technically he hadn't been lying. It was just a little lie. The new kind of stuff he got was so much better than the circle stuff, yet he wouldn't introduce it to any of his friends. Hopefully they wouldn't be able to tell, and hopefully Forman believed him... he just needed to come down a bit.

As he made his way back to the kitchen, Hyde saw everyone was just staring at him. He didn't know exactly why he was the center of attention, and though it was really stupid that he was; he was just high. It's not like they hadn't seen him like this before.

"So... what are we doing today?" Hyde asked, trying to act normal. Kelso's face lit up.

"I know! Eric just got a trampoline!"

"No!"

"Please?"

"What is a trampoline?" Fez asked, Hyde rolled his eyes, wondering

how Fez couldn't know what a trampoline was, even though he had been there for a year already. He also wondered how Kelso could still be so childish, though immaturity and Kelso went hand in hand. Jackie looked quite annoyed with her boyfriend and his idea, and Donna and Eric both had solemn expressions etched into their faces.

"You guys can go out," Eric finally mumbled, "we'll be out in a few minutes." Hyde sighed and stood up, giving the two their alone time that they wanted. But once he started to follow a practically leaping Kelso and a skipping Fez, Eric shoved him back down into his chair.

"What are you doing, Hyde?" Donna asked angrily, "you're so high you can't remember to get dressed? That's not your pot, it's gotta be something else." Hyde shook his head, not able to believe that they were giving him an intervention. Why did they care about how fucked up he was? At least he wasn't doing anything hardcore like his mom, couldn't they be happy about that?

"And your mom hurt you? Why? God, Hyde, it could be serious!"

"But it's not!"

"I meant the stab wound, not the issue," Eric growled as his hawk eyes glared down at Hyde, who just stared at the floor.

"Listen, she's in ail, she's rarely hurts me, it's not like-" Hyde stopped himself, only Donna knew about his dad, and she didn't even know everything. He wasn't about to tell Eric anything about Bud, at least not willingly.

"Not like what?" Donna asked calmly, sitting down next to him. He just stared into her brown eyes and hoped she could see passed his eyes, into his thoughts that were pleading for her to not talk about it. She knew about the situation, so why did she press him. Donna chose to ignore his silent plea and answered her own question. "About yoru dad beatingyou when you were younger? About how the scars on your arms and stomach are from your dad's switchblade? About how-"

"Why are you doing this?" Hyde whispered weakly, voice breaking as he trembled softly. Every word she spoke brought the harsh brutality back into his mind, he could feel it all beating down upon him and he just wanted to run. And she promised to care, and now put him through hell all over again. There were reasons he kept quiet, there were reasons he never spoke about his feelings; he was terrified. And he was looking into the reason why he was terrified; nothing could be kept quiet, no matter how much you want it to.

"Wait, Bud really did abuse you?" The two took Hyde's uncomfortable silence and ashen face as a yes. He watched his memories pass back through his mind, every hit against him, ever beat and lash he could feel stinging his skin just like it really was happening. He couldn't see, he couldn't breathe. He felt it all and he just wanted to scream. He needed to get away, now.

"Hyde? Are you okay?" He heard Donna ask, he was like a stone, she saw his eyes since they weren't hidden (he had forgotten his sunglasses at home). For the first time she saw why he always wore the damn shades; you could see everything the fifteen year old felt, and as soon as she saw the terrified yet vacant eyes, she regretted even saying anything. Where had he gone to? Eric glanced at her, looking quite worried about their friend's state.

'Do something,' he mouthed, Donna sighed softly.

"Hyde, it's o-" as she placed her hand on the back of his shoulder, as a way of reassurance, Hyde jumped violently against her touch, flinching madly. "Snap out of it, Hyde, it's just me!" Still shaking, he glacned up at her; he couldn't speak, because if he did, he knew he'd spill his darkest secret, what could sometimes still haunt him if only his mind drifted back to his childhood... which he forbade himself to do.

"Can we just go?" HE finally murmured, Eric and Donna glanced at each other momentarily, then shook their heads."I don't want to talk, I can't, I'm not like you two!" He bellowed, still quivering. "I can't... I can't do this."

"Answer our questions, it's easy." Donna responded, Hyde glowered at the pair and stood up once more, and zipped passed them, quick only because he didn't want them to catch him. Donna, with good intentions, pounced on his back, making the two of them fall on the linoleum of the kitchen, close to the glass door. She landed flat on his back, and at first she thought Hyde was laughing, yet Eric pressed his finger to his lips for her to silence her chuckles. Hyde was shaking violently, shoulders wracking as he panted and whimpered indistinct words on the floor. Donna needed to get off. Now.

"Donna, stop, get off, get off, get off, get off, GET OFF!" Finally once he shouted and she could understand him, the 16 year old flew off, now pale faced with concern.

"Why are you freaking out, man?" Eric asked, deeply concerned. What the hell was his best friend hiding in there? How could he not notice how tormented he was before? Hyde was deeply disturbed by something in the past, something he shouldn't keep bottled up. But. It had to be Bud. Eric knew reverse psychology, well then again, Hyde did too. But Kelso's theory of two Hyde's came to his head, and looking down at his troubled friend curled on the floor, he had a feeling that wasn't Hyde at all. It was Steven.

"Is it Bud? What did he do?" Eric asked, "I mean, there's gotta be something else besides a couple of beatings. That's not enough to haunt somebody. Or are you just a pussy?" Eric was only trying to have Hyde open up, not drag him farther into his vault of God awful memories. Donna just looked at Eric in absolute shock, wondering why Eric was being so cruel.

Hyde took a deep breath and glanced up at his friends with such sad eyes from his curled position. They weren't going to give up on finding out what he wouldn't tell them, what he didn't want to admit. Gazing down at the floor, knees pulled tightly to his chest, head bowed on his knees, Hyde barely whispered his secret.

Donna and Eric glanced at each other, unable to hear what he said, only that he did speak; he had spoken too fast and way too quiet for them to understand anything.

"What?" Donna asked, kneeling next to her best friend. Slowly his blue eyes glance dinto her doe brown eyes and he spoke just a tad bit louder, and a tiny bit slower. She watched his lips move, she could read lips, and as he spoke, she pieced the three worded sentence together. Hyde saw the shock of his words cross her face, she looked about ready to throw up.

"What?" Eric asked again, confused. Hyde felt his lip snarl and his face heat with sudden anger as he snapped out of his sensitive sight; the transformation was quick, and slightly scary. He shouldn't have to say it three God damn times.

"I WAS RAPED!" he screamed, voice full of emotion. "I was seven fucking years old, Bud got pissed at me 'cause I got high, and he was drunk off his ass and he... he... he fucking raped me!" Hyde shouted, not knowing that he had tears flowing freely out of his eyes. When Hyde saw that Eric and Donna weren't looking at him, but behind him with wide eyes, he slowly turned around. That's when he came face to face with Mr. and Mrs. Forman, who appeared to have just gotten home from grocery shopping.

"Steven-"

"Hyde-"

"NO!" He cried, bolting out of the room before anyone could stop him. There were footsteps behind him, yet he was faster. The front door in the living room slammed shut loudly as he continued on as fast as possible, feet barely even touching the two steps of stairs on their front porch as he ran.

* * *

Hyde went crazy. Two hours after he had ran from the Forman's, he at in his bedroom, punching the wall furiously. His hands were mangled and bleeding, there were even blood flecks and sots on the wall from his consistent blows. How stupid had he been to tell his friends the thing he never wanted anyone to know? How could he just give in like that? It was so unlike him to be vulnerable and actually talk, especially in front of his friends. He didn't quite understand why conversations of Bud had that affect on him. Just the thought of his father scared him, speaking of the bastard only made it worse.

As well as his furious punches and anger, Hyde had thrown up; a lot. Just feeling as she as he did made him sick, literally. After admitting it for the first time, after actually hearing the words, he just felt so disgusting, completely fucked up. Hyde couldn't handle stress or feelings very well, and dealing with them was twice as bad. So in the end he always threw up, which he didn't know if that was normal though. But he figured a buildup of stress and feelings that were finally being released would do that to someone, and it wasn't a pretty sight.

Hyde stared at his hands, the knuckles raw and bleeding. He just didn't know what to think, what the hell was wrong with him? Why did he just tell Eric and Donna? Now they were probably terrified of him, or disgusted by him, which would really hurt. What if they quit associating with him because they thought he was a freak, when in reality it wasn't even his fault? Donna promised that she'd always be there, and the guys had all became blood brothers, they even redid it when Fez came along. Would they abandon him because of this? Would they be like everyone else?

Hyde's back slid down the wall, Eric's shirt discarded, more like thrown in a rage, on the floor clear across the room. He remained in the same exact position that he had been in the Forman's kitchen; knees tucked tightly against his chest, arms hanging limp over his legs, bloody fingers bent limply as they dangled mere inches from the floor. His head hung low, forehead resting against his knee capt as he breathed slowly and deeply.

He remembered the first night. No one went to his baseball game, so he got high later that night in retaliation. Edna had told Bud that he was smoking, and that they were Bud's, so the asshole got pissed, he was beyond drunk, and high off his ass, and gave him the worst beating he had ever been given. Hyde remembered so clearly how his own blood had spilled onto his white sheets from the gash in his stomach, the same sheets that were on his bed to this day. Then, he took off his baseball short and he-

Hyde lurched forward as he retched once more, his head pounded dully and painfully as he did so. He didn't hear anyone open the door or walk in the creaky house as he threw up again. His mouth burned from the bile, and he could hardly breathe; this was not going to be fun to clean up.

"Knock, knock," Hyde jumped, startled as he glanced up at the unexpected visitor.

"Donna," he mumbled hoarsely, bleary eyed.

"You're... Hyde are you okay? What did you do to your hands?" Donna cried, sitting down next to him, despite the fact that there was puke on the floor.

"Punched the wall." She sighed softly and shook her head, placing her hand on his knee.

"Why do you do this, Hyde?" He just glanced at her, unsure of what to say. "You know that we're always here for you, and it's nothing to be embarrassed about. Your dad is a disgusting man who put you through hell, but it's not your fault. Hyde, do you want to talk about it?" Hyde shook his head slowly, then hesitantly shrugged... what was the use of not talking about things when they were already out in the open?

"Living room," he mumbled flatly, slowly standing up off of the floor. He followed Donna out, yet first turned tot he bathroom to brush his teeth. His face was gaunt, with large bags under his eyes from getting sick. As he brushed his teeth, Hyde felt a little queasy once more, yet he wouldn't throw up... yet. Hopefully not at all. The mint flavor tasted amazing compared tot he acid in his mouth, and after spitting out majority of the foam, he swallowed what little was left in his mouth. He sighed softly, wiping his clammy brow and stared in the mirror once more, bare eyed. He was so ashamed.

Without another thought, Hyde slowly walked into his room, to find Dona sitting patiently on the couch. He sat beside her and smiled weakly, unsure of what else to do.

"Hyde... when you were seven, was that," Donna paused and sighed softly, "the only time?" Hyde looked away, hands clasped together. He didn't really want to talk about it, but Donna would make him. "_Steven_, answer me, please?" Hyde felt Donna press her hand on his bare shoulder, he just looked at her, wondering why she didn't all him Hyde like usual. Was it just to get his attention?

"No," he whispered, she wrapped her arms around him, hugging him tightly; he just rested his head on her shoulder.

"I'm so sorry, why would he do that to you? Why didn't you tell me? Or someone else?" Donna asked ,Hyde just shivered against her touch as she lightly rubbed her back.

"I don't know," he replied in a sigh, then smirked, "is this just an excuse to touch me?" he lightly joked, which made Donna chuckle and lightly punch his arm.

"No, and don't try to change the subject, Hyde," Donna growled with a smile, "Does your mom know about it?" He nodded and she scowled, disgusted.

"She watched the first time, she fucking watched and didn't do a damn thing. I thought I was going to die, Donna, I was just a kid and..." he trailed off, not bothering to finish his sentence.

"I know... I'm sorry, Hyde. IT was sick of your dad, just... awful! But what I want to know is... are you okay about it? Like now?"

"Yeah... I just didn't want you guys to know, I don't think about it. Man, I can't think about it. This is what happens." He pointed to himself and Donna just smiled sadly, leaning into him.

"You could have told me though, Hyde. I mean you shouldn't hold things in like that. I mean... this is extremely serious!"

"I know, Donna, I don't really want to talk about it though," That was the end of the matter. "So... what did Forman say?" Donna chuckled and rested her head on his chest, Hyde smiled softly as she did so.

"Well, Mrs. Forman started crying after you left and Eric got sick... then we had to go to the hospital because Kelso and Fez double bounced Jackie off of the trampoline and she broke her arm, in case you were wondering about them..." Hyde shook his head as he laughed softly, and began running his hand through Donna's hair subconsciously. She actually moved in to his touch, which surprised him, and gave him hope.

"Forman puked?" he finally asked, Donna nodded, eyes closed. "And uh... is Jackie alright?"

"Yep,"

"Uh... Donna?" He asked timidly, she looked up at him and he smiled faintly, "uh thanks for... you know... coming over and... yeah,"

"Mhmm..." she mumbled, and Hyde smirked, "I really care about you, Hyde, I want you to be okay." Everything was quiet for awhile, they just sat together in silence, with innocent touches that was a form of comfort more than anything else. But he hadn't noticed that his hand moved from her hair to her arm and sides, until she shivered, yet pretended not to notice.

"So, when does your mom get back?" Donna asked softly, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, whenever an _uncle_ decides to get her, three weeks at most." He replied, discretely gazing wistfully at Donna.

"I'm sorry about your parents... I don't know how you do it. I mean your dad is gone, thank God, but your mom's here and she's-"

"Pretty screwy," Hyde finished bluntly.

"-Yeah, I just feel bad, but you do okay... right? Does it bother you?"

"How often do I play guitar?" He responded with a question that subtly answered her question, which only made Donna grimace.

"Are you okay?" Once again, Hyde nodded.

"The past is the past, in time everything that once hurt you seems like nothing. As long as it's bottled, I'm good," But Hyde only told her what she wanted to hear. He knew that it would always scare him, everything that happened to him would always leave a permanent effect on his relationships with anybody, and he'd probably always freak out a little when someone rose a hand, or touched him without him acknowledging it. But hopefully in the future that wouldn't happen, hopefully in the future he'd get over everything in the past, and be slightly normal.

"Hyde, I hope you know that I'm always gonna be here for you," Donna mumbled, he smiled and patted her shoulder.

"Thanks, man," he replied, voice emotionless. '_Let's wait and see about that...'_ he thought. But if she broke her promise, if she did end up leaving him behind, then at least he had her now. And right now that was more than enough for him.


	35. Walking Disaster

_**Author's Note: I just wanted to let you know that this one is probably going to fast paced and a lot shorter than the others I've posted recently. Twiniitowers brought to my attention about something and I thought that it would be important if I put it in, so thank you for that. After this I will finally get to the series, the starter for the series is The Keg. I will mention other things that happened in the episodes that I skip like the party they had in Eric's Burger Job, or Eric's Birthday, or Streaking, but I won't make chapters for them. Hope you don't mind. Or if I do, they'll be short mini chapters in my deleted scenes once I'm done with this story. **_

_**Hope you enjoy, and sorry for the suckish chapter this will probably be. I'm quite drained from school, and all my creativity has gone out the window because of it. Damn. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

_I haven't been home for a while, I'm sure everything's the same. Mom and Dad both in denial; an only child to take the blame. Sorry, Mom, but I don't miss you, father's no name you deserve. I'm just a kid with no ambitions, wouldn't come home for the world. Never know what I've become; the king of all that's said and done, the forgotten son. This city's buried in defeat I walk along these no-name streets and wave goodbye to all, as I fall. A walking disaster; the son of all bastards. You regret you made me, it's too late to save me. As far as I can tell, it's just voices in my head. Am I talking to myself? 'Cause I don't know what I just said. And she said as far as where I fell, maybe I'm better off dead. Am I at the end of nowhere? Is this as good as it gets? And now I've been gone for so long, I can't remember who was wrong. All innocence is long gone, I pledge allegiance to a world of disbelief; where I belong. A walking disaster; the son of all bastards. You regret you made me, it's too late to save me..._

Hyde sat silently in the Forman's basement, by himself as he waited for Eric to finish his dinner with the family. It was well into mid-June now, even after three and a half weeks of his mother's arrest, Edna still wasn't home. Maybe they actually got her in for awhile this time... which wouldn't be a bad thing.

After admitting his darkest secret, Hyde hadn't gone to the Forman's for a week, in fear and embarrassment. Yet when Donna and Kelso went to his house and literally dragged him from his bed to the basement, he showed his face at the welcoming home. Instantly he had been hugged by Mrs. Forman and Fez, both embraces he tried to wriggle his way out of, yet failed. Hyde made sure he had snuck downstairs before Mrs. Forman could talk to him about what he had said. He wouldn't talk about it anymore.

Now, a week later, Hyde sat tapping his toes to Led Zeppelin playing throughout the basement. He grimaced, clutching his stomach as painful growls gnawed in his insides; he didn't have any food that wasn't spoiled at his house, all the crackers were gone... and he could only eat when he had snacks or snuck food from the Forman's. Yeah, he had money, but he didn't want to waste it on food. His feet rested on the circular table as he sat on his normal throne; the lawn chair. His sunglasses were perched over his eyes, like always, and he wore a dark scowl.

He didn't know where everyone else was. He figured Kelso and Jackie were with each other, out somewhere or just making out, Donna was probably at home or with Tina somewhere, and Fez was probably with his host parents. Maybe he could stop by Donna's house and hang out with her and her younger sister for a bit, because he honestly didn't feel like hanging out here by himself. But he was also feeling extremely lazy, and his chair was comfortable.

Hyde had to ask himself this; would he rather be comfortable, or with someone? This took a lot of consideration, because he didn't really like people, only his friends and the Forman's and a select few other people... and they were very few and very selected. He'd be with Donna though, and though his fight to be with her was growing weaker and weaker because of Forman, he still had a chance, as long as he took it and didn't let it slip from his grasp. He also liked his solitude, especially recently. Though being alone made him think, he never thought of anything bad, mostly he just came up with angry letters to the government or conspiracy theories.

He decided that his chair wasn't as comfortable as a hug from Donna, so reluctantly, he stood up, sighing heavily as he did so. Digging his hands in his pockets, the fifteen year old silently walked to the door, his boots cutting into his feet as he did so; socks did no protecting whatsoever. He walked up the cement steps at ease, ignoring the spiders that crawled on the cement along the side; though he'd have to remember there were tons out here for the next time he wanted to scare the shit out of Eric. Bowing his head, he took off down the Forman's driveway, hoping they didn't see him as they ate, he had ways of invisibility, without literally being invisible; like a ninja.

Hyde walked across the street to the Pinciotti's and bit his lip as he walked up their sidewalk to the front door. His hand hesitated before knocking, his curled fist slightly shaking as he softly pounded on the wooden door. He heard the thudding of soft feet and a lock unlatch as the door quickly opened.

"Hey, Tina," Hyde mumbled, the 13 year old smiled softly at him, her blonde hair pulled back in a thick ponytail.

"Hi, Steven, how're you?" She asked softly, in ways she was like Donna, but she was so shy, and timid, he thought it was funny that she called him Steven, too.

"Uh... I'm fine, can I come in for a bit?" He asked, she looked behind her, with her lip bitten back into her mouth.

"Well, if you're here for Donna, she's not here right now... she had to do some shopping with mom."

"Why didn't you go?" He asked Tina, who just looked down at the floor, blushing.

"It's... girl stuff." Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, he dealt with more of that shit with his mom than Tina had to with herself, Donna, and Midge... slightly... it was different. But unlike his friends, he didn't freak out when he heard the word 'period', but he was silently disgusted by the quiet conversations Donna and Jackie had when they thought he couldn't hear, or was 'asleep'. He shuddered at the thought.

"But still, you're a girl," Hyde said.

"I wanted to stay home, I had stuff to do, so I just thought I'd..." Tina trailed off, then laughed softly.

"I guess I should let you get back to it then," he murmured, the thirteen year old shrugged and he smirked faintly.

"I'm sorry Donna wasn't home," he chuckled and it was his turn to shrug this time.

"It's fine, just tell her I stopped by, all right?" He asked, Tina nodded and smiled up at him. "I'll see you around, Tina."

"Bye, Steven," Hyde smiled softly and nodded as she closed the door, he sighed once more and scrunched his shoulders close to him as he walked, eyes lowered to the cracked concrete sidewalk.

* * *

Hyde had no idea what happened witht the time he spent from the Pinciotti's to now, three hours later. Well, he knew he spent it drinking and smoking, now he was beyond wasted, and toasted, but what happened between then and now? He remembered walking to the bar and ordering a drink, being questioned on his age- fake ID. And after that was pure oblivion.

This was how he spent most of his nights since Edna was gone, whether at a bar or at home, Hyde didn't have to worry about not having food because they had a surplus of alcohol in the home, and if he was hungry, he just drank, and soon it was forgotten. Alcohol was the best nourishment to his family, more important than anything else. He didn't give a fuck about his sobriety, he felt better drunk; he didn't have to think about anything. Hyde did know that he was basically an alcoholic like his parents, but he wasn't like them when he was drunk, so it was different. And he didn't need alcohol to get by, he just wanted it. So in a sense, he wasn't an alcoholic. His constant drinking was bad for him, he did know that, but like most other things in his life, he just didn't care.

Hyde staggered out of the bar, fake ID pocketed, mind in oblivion as he way to the parking lot of Charlie's. He had been bored, that's what caused him to go to the bar, and instead of walking, he took Edna's car.

The Wednedsay night was humid, which is why he didn't walk, and full of pressure. This is why he hated summer, it was too damn hot to wear jeans, or any pants besides shorts. And he'd rather die than wear shorts. Nights like this made him want to stick his head in a bucket of ice, or the freezer... he promised himself when he got home, or if he got home, that he'd go right in and take a cold shower. But for now he had to suffer silently in the late June heat.

Body falling against the car, Hyde blindly dug in his pockets, searching for the keys to the station wagon. Secretly, he was actually a bit worried about driving, he hadn't drank this much in a long time, and whenever he did have this much in his system, he was always home. But it woudln't be too difficult, seven blocks straight, then turn right for four blocks, turn left two more blocks, fourth house to the right. He felt he mixed the directions up a bit, but he'd figure out his way home eventually.

Hyde sat on the cushioned seat, the car disgustingly warm, practically like an oven. As he looked out the windshield into the night, Hyde realized he wouldn't be able to see very well with his prized sunglasses, so hesitantly he took them off and set them on the passenger seat.

_'Why the hell do I want to go home?'_ Hyde thought, digging the key into the ignition, and turned it, door still hanging open. The last place he ever wanted to go was that shabby, dingy, hell that was a poor excuse of a home. It was nicer in appearace than when Edna was there, and he could actually sleep at night. But the thoguht of returning home so soon made him feel queasy; yet that could also be the alcohol.

Slamming the heavy door shut, Hyde pulled the shift into drive and quickly pulled out of his parking spot and onto the highway. Insead of taking North Drive, that would take him home, Hyde swerved onto High Street, music roaring from the radio. With the windows down, the car felt a little more comfortable, but still the heat drove him crazy. As he picked up speed, the hot air that had been stuck in the car had mingled with the air from outside, his car brought a breeze as he flew down the streets.

By the time he was out of town, the car was pushing about 75 miles an hour. Hyde had no idea where he was headed, just the opposite way to Kenosha... south. The station wagon soared down a steep hill, now at 83 miles per hour, and as he descended the lights from Point Place that glowed in the sky disappeared below the horizon of the hill. The thing Hyde was most concerned about in his driving was staying on the right side rather than swerving into the other lane... or veering onto the shoulder, which would make him flip into the ditch. He knew it wasn't smart to drive drunk, or high, or both like tonight, but he just didnt' want to hang out at his home, alone. He also had more focus... well on the road at least.

Eyes staring straight ahead of him, he didn't pay too much attention to the music, or his speed. His hands were white knuckled, to make sure he kept a straight hold on the wheel, and unlike when he drove normally, he sat completely straight, rather than leaning back and just chilling.

'Oh God,' he thought, grimacing, 'I'm like Forman!' At least Eric's driving had gotten better in the past couple of months, when the older boy had first started driving, Hyde felt that he'd be safer jumping out of the car rather than sitting in the passenger seat, with Eric over correcting himself. Now, Hyde wasn't driving like that, but just the stiffness in his hands and torso was like how Eric was, he needed to relax. Nothing bad was going to happen.

That was until he heard it. He didn't know how far he had gone, and he hadn't checked his speed in a long time, but as soon as he heard the siren, and the flashing lights he glanced down, and gulped.

"Oh... shit." He mumbled, feeling rather sick to his stomach. He was only fifteen, he wasnt even legal to drive yet! He couldn't use his fake ID as a driver's license, either. Even if he did use it and it workd, Hyde kenw he'd be questioned on his alcohol intake, and if he had to do a breathalizer, he'd be screwed. Calm on the inside, yet nearly having a panic attack on the inside, Hyde slowly puled over tot he side of the road and turned down the music as he waited, tapping his fingers on the steering wheel and reptitively hitting his head on the head rest of the seat.

Hyde waited silently as he heard the footsteps of the cop on the shoulder, his heart pounding in his head as he tried to calm himself down. Oh God, he was fucked. The cop, an average weight, pretty tall guy came up to the window and rested his arms on it, shining the flashlight in. Hyde winced at the sudden bright light, and looked straight ahead.

"Are you aware that you were driving over thirty miles above the speed limit?" The officer asked, Hyde glanced up and nodded slowly.

"Yeah, I was trying to get home quick, over curfew..." Hyde trailed off, knowing fully well that he was lying to the cop.

"How old are you, son?" The man asked, Hyde bit his lip and sighed.

"I'm fifteen, sir," he responded quietly, able to taste the alcohol on his breath.

"You do know that it's illegal for you to drive without a license, right?" Hyde nodded and felt his stomach squirm with uneasiness. "Step out of the car, please."

Hyde trembled as he turned off the car and hesitantly opened the door, he knew as soon as he started walking that the cop would know he was drunk, and then he'd be taken in. He couldn't go back to jail, he had no one to get him. As he stood up, he leaned on the car, which was a normal thing for him to do. Hyde was just a couple inches shorter than the cop, and surprisingly more muscular, but still, this guy could take him down any second if he tried anything- Hyde wasn't stupid enough to run.

"Son, can you walk along the white line until I tell you to stop?" Hyde glanced up at him and nodded, yet as he glanced to the left, couldn't exactly tell where it was. It didn't help that as he walked off of the shoulder, he stumbled. He hadn't even walked forward before the cop asked, "have you been drinking tonight?"

That was it. This was over. Hyde's stomach dropped as he heard the questioned, he could feel his heart beating so fast, hear it in his head, the cop could probably hear it. Clamminess washed over him, and he took a deep breath, stuffing his hands in his pockets. Hyde opened his mouth to answer, but at the same time, he felt his stomach practically flip, and he lurched forward, throwing up.

_'Shit,'_ Hyde thought, coughing as he clutched his stomach, doubled over.

"That answers my question," the police officer said, "come on son, we've got a long night..."

* * *

"JUVIE?" Hyde jumped at Donna's loud shrill voice cry over the pay phone the next day. Horrible hangover, plus a new location wasn't setting for him today.

"Donna could you not yell?" He barked, he heard her sigh over the phone and he grimaced.

He didn't remember last night. Hyde did know that after he got in the police car, he passed out, and woke up to being in the city of Waukesha, he had been confused about that. He didn't know why they hadn't taken him back to Point Place, or even Kenosha. That was until he found out he was being put into a Juvenile Detention Center, and upon hearing those three words, he had thrown up, and not because of the alcohol. Last night he had spent the night in the Waukesha Jail, then they had transferred him to the Waukesha County Juvenile Detention Center, until he was put on trial for the amount of days there.

He couldn't believe he was actually in juvie. His mom was locked up in prison, and he was practically the same as her right now. They had both gotten locked up because of the same thing, and that thought just made him feel awful. He hoped he'd only have to stay a couple of weeks, yet he had a feeling it would be longer, and that just made him want to curl up and hide away.

"No, Hyde, you're in juvie! How the hell did that happen?"

"I got pulled over last night," he mumbled, rubbing his forehead, Donna groaned and he chuckled.

"No wonder you didn't call me! Tina told me you came by and I called you when I got home because I wanted to hang out. But... ugh! Hyde, this is bad, you're screwed!" He laughed sarcastically at that and rested his head on his hand.

"Really, Donna?" He asked with a hint of sarcasm.

"Well can the Formans-"

"No, this isn't like last time, I'm sentenced, not just in holding, man." Hyde replied to Donna, before she could finish. Yet he knew exactly what she was going to say. Even if the Formans could have bailed him out, which wasn't possible, he wouldn't allow them to. He wasn't going to make them pay to bail him out of anything ever again... he couldn't do that to them. He wasn't worth it. He'd just end up back here someday.

"So... do you know how long you're there?"

"Nope. But I know I have an Alcohol and Substance class, as well as... get this; therapy." He heard Donna snort and even he had to chuckle.

"You have to go to therapy? Hyde... you're gonna kill them." He smirked at that, she was right. It was pointless to try and get him to talk. He didn't even understand why he had to go to the stupid therapy sessions that they gave him four times a week. He did slightly understand the basically AA, but he knew as soon as he was out he was going to drink again... just not while driving. "Wait, why an Alcohol and Substance class?"

"When I got pulled over... I was drunk." he mumbled, the silence on the other line practically scared him.

"Steven James Hyde! Are you stupid?" He rolled his eyes at Donna's predicted scream, and wrinkled his nose.

"Yeah." He replied, glancing up at the clock... he had five minutes to talk on the phone... two days in a week. "Listen, Donna, I have to go. I'm calling Eric in a couple of days, so be there," he heard the sixteen year old sigh heavily, and he deepened his frown.

"Fine, Hyde, but... just don't do anything stupid, so you can come home soon." Hyde chuckled and bit his lip. Unless he killed the therapist, nothing bad should happen.

"I won't Donna, talk to you later."

"Bye." Hyde hung up the phone, and buried his head in his hands.

How the hell did he come to this? Hyde was a mess, he was becoming everything he didn't want to be. The thought of himself made him sick to his stomach and yet everything he did was all his fault. He could have given himself a better path, made his life easier, he could have been softer, like Eric, but he chose not to at a young age. He had had a chance, but he pushed it away because he didn't think he was deserving. As a child, he realized he deserved everything that could have been offered to him; a life with his grandparents, great grades, a chance at life. He shouldn't have pushed it all away, yet he didn't know what else to do. Everything in his life that was good was taken from him in the end; his grandparents, his grades, even Ringo. He could never hold on to a good thing, so why would he try to fight for something that could change his life for the better?

Now he was slowly becoming a replica of his parents, and it made him sick. The last thing he wanted was to end up like them, rotting away in their addictions with criminal records that went on for miles. But here he was, sitting in juvie, waiting for his meeting with the judge, the cop who brought him in, and the guy who ran the facility. Hopefully they'd let him off easy, but Hyde had a feeling that they wouldn't, he hadn't just been taken in for drinking, he was under the age to both drink, and to drive legally.

Hyde hesitantly stood up and walked out of the phone room, where six other people were having conversations. He walked through the hall, head lowered, his mind running wildly. As he walked into the cafeteria, he saw one of the guards, a tall, beefy man, spot him and slowly walked up to him. Hyde had just stopped when seeing the man approach him, and stayed calm.

"Steven Hyde?" The fifteen year old nodded slowly and the man cleared his throat. "Your meeting with the judge and the warden is in five minutes," Hyde scowled, following the guard who led the way.

* * *

A month and a half he'd be stuck in this hellhole.

Hyde couldn't believe it. A month would have been reasonable, but why did they have to add the extra fifteen or so days to his sentence? He was already sick of this place; the orange jumpsuit that was too big, the underwear provided that he seriously hoped had been washed, the use of shackles everytime he had to go somewhere, cafeteria, shower, or the rarely used phone room. He was sick of the dirty sheets he slept on, the lack of privacy, and the fact that he had nothing to do. Right now he missed his guitar, even his damn notebook. He wanted something else to do besides counting the seconds until he would get out.

He hugged his knees to his chest as he sat on his cot, it was comfier than his bed at least. Staring out the bars, but not into the cell across, Hyde bit at his finger nails, unsure of what else to do. Hyde grimaced as he realized that as of that second, he had 38,864,000 seconds until he was out of this place. 38 million seconds of his life wasted because he was stupid, or "a dumbass" as Red would say. He shouldn't gone to the damn bar, he had beer at home. But the fact that he didn't want to be home made him go to the bar. Now he wished more than anything he could be home... which was really sad.

Hyde sighed softly and bit the inside of his lip, jagged nails digging on the side of his thumb, trying to dig off callouses to pass the time. If he had a piece of tape, he could be entertained by trying to get it off of his fingers, but of course he wasn't offered that luxury. He groaned lowly and hit the back of his head against the cement wall, trying to make himself fall unconscious. He didn't know how much more of this he could take, but it would be incredibly stupid to try and escape. The better he behaved, the better this would be for him. He just had to learn how to deal with boredom, and how to hold his tongue.

Hyde closed his eyes and breathed in deeply, then held his breath. He had heard in a magazine about these monks who could think themselves to death. What they did was they only took one breath a minute. Then it grew to two minutes, three minutes, on up, to slow down their heart rates. Eventually, their hearts would only beat two or three times a minute, and they reached nirvana. He wondered how much time it would take for him to do that, because once their hearts beat two or three times a minute, they could ultimately stop their heart rate, which would then kill them. He thought it would be sort of funny if he did that, because he wouldn't be harmed, and the guards and warden of this hell hole would be confused as to how he died.

After ten minutes of taking only ten breaths, Hyde exhaled heavily and punched the wall.

"Fuck that," he growled, lying down on his cot. He didn't even have the patience for that.

* * *

Hyde sat silently in the white room, on a brown couch, staring at the floor. It was so silent in the room that he could hear the clock hand ticking to count the seconds that pass by in the hour he had. He wouldn't even look up at the fruitcake who sat before him in a brown blazer, with nerdy glasses and bucked teeth. Of course he was a therapist.

"So Steven, have you thought about why you were here?"

He just blinked and continued gazing at the carpeted floor. No way in hell was he talking, especially to this shrink. The only people who would openly feel okay to talk to were Mrs. Forman, and Donna. Forman sometimes, but nothing too serious. Hyde was not about to talk about his dumbass choices to a man who probably needed therapy himself.

"So... I hear that your mother is in prison as well, were your actions a cry for attention?" Hyde just took a deep breath, and twiddled his thumbs as he leaned forward, just wishing that the twenty minutes he had spent in here already would quickly change to an hour in the blink of an eye.

Asking Hyde to talk about his feelings was like asking Red to not say dumbass. You would end up hurt.

The therapist seemed patient and okay with his silence, which pissed him off. In fact, the guy seemed too calm, Hyde figured he wanted whatever the guy was on. But of course, he'd stick to staying silent and saying nothing, not even looking up from his gaze on the floor.

"You come from a pretty rough home, it sounds like... your mother, an alcoholic, and your father... arrested for domestic violence. Tell me, Steven, did he ever hit you?"

How did they know that? How could they find out about his parents records? They didn't need to know about them, they should only be asking him things about him, not his family. No, they shouldn't be asking him anything. This was the fucking government. He was trapped in their system and they were pulling out all of the information they had on him, on their family. Yeah his parents were awful people, yet how could they find out every little thing about them? When was Bud arrested for domestic violence? Hyde didn't even know about that, and that was his own father. This was a trap, and Hyde was a pawn in this game. They had his records, and the government could get total access on who he is and everything about him, and that scared him.

At the mention of Bud's abuse, Hyde did something completely unpredicted by him. He broke the gaze on the floor. He looked at the therapist. It was proof that one, Hyde had been listening and not completely toning out the guy, and also that yes, Bud did abuse hm. Hyde didn't want to cooperate, he wanted to get out, he didn't want to talk about his shitty family life. It didn't matter.

"I take that as a yes, do you think your home environment has influenced you to make the choices that you make today?" Hyde scowled and now glared at the floor, trying his hardest to not show his eyes. He didn't have his damn sunglasses with him, so he was vulnerable, and he didn't want the therapist to know that's where the truths were held. "You know you can talk to me, it's completely confidential."

"Confidential my ass," Hyde growled lowly, this would be going straight to the warden, straight to the judge, to the government. This was anything but confidential.

"You feel that you can't trust me? Is it that you can't trust anyone?" Hyde rolled his eyes and glanced up at the clock, watching as the minute hand rolled to the :26. Twenty four minutes to go.

"No."

"What do you mean?" Hyde began biting on his fingers again, the tips already raw from picking at them yesterday. This was so fucking stupid, he just wanted to go back to his cell... he had to pee really bad. Silence filled the room again, Hyde was smug that his tactic had worked. Answer very short, which got the therapists's hopes high, then go unresponsive again. He could see the aggravation written all over his face, and it was quite amusing to the fifteen year old.

"Did you know that therapist has two words in it?" Hyde finally asked, the man looked at him curiously, and Hyde smirked. "The rapist."

"Is that something you want to talk about, rape?" Hyde's smile immediately fell, and he turned back to the floor, which only showed vulnerability to the man, who was jotting down notes as Hyde silenced once again. "So, it says here, that you have a brother, Christopher, how old is he?"

Hyde felt his anger boil... he couldn't take it anymore. Why the hell was this guy doing this? Standing up, Hyde stormed to the door and yanked it open, it smacked loudly against the wall. As he walked out, he turned around.

"HE'S DEAD!" Hyde shouted, slamming the door shut behind him.

* * *

Hyde sat, curled in his cell, shaking with anger and angst clouding his judgment. He couldn't take this... the therapy, the meetings, the isolation from the rest of human civilization. It was making him crazy, making him sick and he couldn't handle it. Damn, he even missed Jackie, right now he'd rather be _kissing _the bitch rather than sitting here, replaying every horrible thing that ever happened to him. And the thought of kissing her was disgusting.

Hyde couldn't do this much longer, this place was driving him insane. He needed to get out... he needed nirvana.

Hyde held his breath.


	36. Some Things Just Stick In Your Mind

**_Author's Note: So sorry this has taken me so long to update! I've had two essays and two speeches I've been working on for school, plus I'm in drama club... so... it takes a lot out of my free time. School sucks. Anywho... we're finally up to the series! I present to you... The Keg! Last chapter was supposed to happen well, before the second episode, if that clears up anything. And juvie took up most of the last half of Hyde's summer, so he didn't spend much time with anyone, just thought I'd let you know that, too. Plus I have my computer back, which is awesome because, well, I have my computer back! _**

_***As I type the authors note* I hope I'll be able to finish this by tonight... Wednesday. If not, I'll work on it tomorrow and Friday and hopefully it'll be up by then. But if it's up tonight, then please disregard this message as it's unimportant and just gibberish.**_

_**I hope everyone is having a good week so far, and I hope that you like this chapter. And I hope I still have fans for this :). **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

**_PS: The ending for this chapter sucks. I promise that. :D and I apologize for that as well. _**

* * *

_**The Keg**_

_Why does the sky turn grey every night? Sun rise again in time. Why do you think of the first girl you had? Some things just stick in your mind. Why does the rain fall down on the earth? Why do the clouds keep crying? Why do you sleep curled up like a child? Some things just stick in your mind. Why when the children grow up and leave, still remember their nursery rhymes? Why must there be so much hate in their lives? Some things just stick in their minds..._

"Just walk out, Steven! Just like your father!" Hyde rolled his eyes as he slung his bag over his arm as he approached the screen door.

"I'm going to school, you bitch!" Hyde snapped before slamming the door loudly, almost able to feel the vibrations of the compact.

The summer had passed by too quickly. They were now well into September, and things for Hyde were gradually growing worse for him. Everyday since he had gotten out of juvie, Edna made it a point to viciously remind him that he was becoming more and more like Bud. But he'd never be like that asshole, he knew a part of it was that Edna was upset about not raising him better, but it was her fault. He couldn't blame himself for that. With screaming matches that went well into the morning, Hyde didn't think he could take anymore of anything. But he was wrong.

With the blossoming relationship of Eric and Donna that had been gradually blooming right before his very eyes, Hyde felt himself growing more nauseated and disgusted each and every day. He had thought Edna had been giving him hell, but his two friends finally getting together was a whole new kind of hurt that he had never experienced before. It killed him to watch his best friend and that one person, that one girl, the only thing he had ever felt right before, becoming what he wanted. It ate at him from the inside out, and the worst part was that he could have said something to her, and maybe things would be different. Maybe she'd be his instead of Forman's.

So now when he bummed rides from Eric, he sat in the back because Donna was more important. And he had to watch their secret puppy love antics, the 'glance- look away', feeble attempts at hand holding, not to mention the subconscious, unnoticed flirting.

See, they all thought he had no feelings. His friends couldn't picture having him having an emotional range bigger than a teaspoon. They probably thought he didn't like anyone, and never would be with a steady girlfriend. Well he felt more than any of them would feel, had been through more than any of them could comprehend. Watched everything slip away from his fingers just like that. And because of that, he could hide everything so much better than any of them could ever try to imagine, or copy.

Hyde watched as the Vista Cruiser rolled to a temporary halt at the curb. He took a deep breath and walked down through the grass, to the back door. Kelso and Fez were already in, as well as Donna, so Hyde squeezed in next to Kelso, who was jamming out to the radio.

"Long night?" Hyde heard Donna ask.

"Huh?" He responded, softly scoffing to himself. Like she cared.

"I think so..." Eric mumbled to her, then chuckled as she giggled quietly. Hyde scowled and rested his head on the window.

"Whatever," he grumbled, before closing his stinging eyes. He was so tired that it hurt to close his freaking eyes. How the hell was he going to go through class today?

"So... today I think I'm going to break up with Jackie." Hyde rolled his eyes at Kelso, he'd been saying that almost everyday for the past three years. And the whole Jackie experience made him sick. It was almost as bad as Eric and Donna, sometimes worse, but for different reasons all together. All of this love that was going around the gang made him want to shoot himself. Love was just an excuse to get hurt, and to hurt; and dammit... he was hurting so fucking bad.

"Hyde, I tried calling you last night-"

"Oh, you were the one my mom said I was abusing," Hyde interrupted sourly to Donna, who wrinkled her nose and turned back to the window, but not before giving Eric an annoyed look. He could feel his friends glaring at him, which he found ridiculous; Edna had said that. Not him.

The rest of the ride was silent as Eric drove to school. Only Kelso and Fez were poking each other, which only aggravated Hyde even more. He glanced down at the road from the window, and with a grimace, he figured they weren't going fast enough to kill him.

As soon as they arrived in the high school parking lot, Hyde high tailed it out of the car as fast as he could; he just wanted to be away from his friends. They didn't understand why he was so angry all the time. He figured they'd all be even worse off than him if they had just gotten out of the Juvenile Detention Center a week prior, he was still edgy. He was still pissed off, annoyed, and the moments with the therapist had made him contemplate suicide. But of course his friends figured Hyde would be glad to be out, happy to see them... which in a sense he was. But... at the same time, they were all really pissing him off. He didn't want to be around them as much, because too much contact with the lovebirds and perviness and he'd upchuck.

Hyde felt a hand press down on his shoulder and he spun around, fists clenched. His angry, set jaw loosened as did his balled fists when he saw Donna standing behind him, he was now just a tad taller than her... both she and Eric seemed to have grown when he was gone. Thankfully, he was still taller than the two.

"Hyde, what's going on with you?" Donna asked him quietly, noticeably angry and a little frightened as she tried to see passed his sunglasses. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and his thumbs found their way in the waistband of his jeans; nervous habit.

"Nothin', man, I'm fine," Hyde mumbled, watching as Donna rolled her eyes and crossed her hands on her stomach, glaring into his sunglasses.

"Hyde, I just... you know what? Nevermind," she snapped, a disgusted scowl on her face, "I'll see you later," Donna shot him one last dark glower before stomping into the school angrily, Hyde's eyes followed her in, an angry sigh at himself passing through his vocal chords. His chances of getting her were deteriorating right before his eyes.

After picking up his pre-calc book, Hyde slammed his locker door and dragged himself to class. He was already in a crappy mood, and beyond exhausted, he didn't even know why he was here. And the school just wanted to torture him by having him in a math class first. Worst. Subject. Ever.

Slipping into the classroom, Hyde found an open seat, clear in the back. With bag and book, he silently made his way through the groups of people talking. As soon as he sat down, Hyde rested his head on his book and closed his eyes. Since he sat in the back, none of the teachers would notice him snoozing; no one ever did in previous years... why would they now?

He had thought about just skipping the whole day altogether, but with Edna being home, he figured he'd have better chances of sleeping during his classes. So the entire day would be just like this. Except Mrs. Hagstrom's voice kept tugging him against falling asleep. As slow and monotonous it was, it was so low and scratchy that it made him want to hear his fingernails scratching on a chalkboard for an hour than hers... and he couldn't stand that sound. Hyde's head almost imploded as her voice ran through his ear drums, his head pounded dull-fully against his skull, a headache already forming. Hell would be better than this.

"Yesterday, I explained the Remainder Theorem, does anyone remember the definition and how to perform the theorem in a correct equation?" Mrs. Hagstrom drawled; silence echoed throughout the room... not even the crickets wanted to chirp, in case she called on _them_. "Steven?"

_'Shoot. Me.' _Hyde thought as he ever so slightly raised his head off of his desk, looking straight ahead at the older teacher. Glancing around the room, he saw everyone was staring at him, waiting for him to make a peep.

"Oh... shit..." he mumbled, only the students that were nearby that could hear him laughed, while the rest just appeared confused.

"Mr. Hyde, do you remember the definition and formula for the Remainder Theorem, it was part of the assignment yesterday?" Hyde cleared his throat and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I don't really think it matters," he answered, making the whole class titter with laughter. Mrs. Hagstrom placed her hands on her hips and glared at him dangerously.

"Just answer the question, or go visit Principal Pridewell, I'm sure your _probation officer _wouldn't want to hear of an outburst in the third day of school, _would he_?" Hyde sneered as she spoke, and gazed towards his clenched hands.

"Just answer the question," Hyde jumped, spinning to see Eric sitting next to him, when did Forman sit in the back? And Donna was in front of Eric, Kelso in front of Hyde, Fez next to Kelso... when the hell did this happen. And how did they not know that they were the ones who were laughing at his earlier exclamatory? He was so confused.

"Uh... it's a theory that is used to evaluate polynomials at the value of X or something. It starts with the unnamed P times X, which means some polynomial that's variable is X. Then you divide the polynomial by some linear factor... X minus A, where A is just some random number, too. From the polynomial division, you end up with the polynomial answer Q times X, where Q is the quotient, and the polynomial remainder is R times X. And I am not reading the damn formula because that would really piss me off," Hyde growled lowly, staring at his math assignment that had half of the answers written in his half asleep handwriting, with doodles all along the margins. As he glanced up, he saw his friends just staring at him with shocked expressions, same with Mrs. Hagstrom.

_'Do they really think I'm stupider than Kelso?'_ he thought to himself, grimacing as he thought of the answer that they could have felt. He continued to doodle in the margins, ignoring Mrs. Hagstrom as she went to force another answer out of another student.

* * *

"Now that you've all picked out your book project books, I have decided that you are to write a four paged essay, based on your best memory. These will be read in class on Friday..."

Hyde tore out a page of his notebook after he quickly scrawled on it, then secretly handed it to Kelso. he stared up ahead at the clock until he felt a poke on his back- reply received. Under his scrawl of 'I'm outta here, you wanna come with?' Kelso had written, 'Nah, not now, later though.' Hyde rolled his eyes and hurriedly jotted down a short reply of 'Whatever, I'll be at the football field,' he received a very strange look from Kelso, who was silently wondering why Hyde was going to the football field. Hyde raised his hand.

"Yes Steven?" Ms. Carlson asked.

"Can I go to the rest room?" He asked innocently, his teacher, a young woman, sighed softly.

"Can you wait until after I give the assignment?"

"Well..." Hyde began, smirking, "I could, but I drank a whole pot of coffee this morning, and I have to take a leak really, _really_-"

"Okay, okay, fine!" She interrupted, herself trying not to laugh along with the other students, "you can go." Hyde smiled smugly and slung his bag over his shoulder. Ms. Carlson eyed him as he walked casually out of the room.

The Vikings first football game of the season was Friday, which was in two days. Football and any sport in general disgusted him, and he felt that he had to do something to piss off the players. With a small amount of gasoline, enough to barely start the grass on fire, not to set the whole field on fire, he felt that this idea was well... stupid, but funny... to him at least. Even if they got rid of it before the game, the football players would still see it.

Hyde made it outside without a single teacher even walking down the hallway, though the janitor did give him a strange look as he kicked open the doors. He took the back end so that less people would see him though, even though the field was practically next to the school... It was weird for Hyde to be on the field, he realized this as he walked down the many steps on the cement stairs, passed the bleachers, to the field itself. The only other time he had been there was when he and Kelso snuck in and streaked down the field during half time. But here he was, running fast down the long cement stairs that lead to the track, and the football field. No one was there, of course, and no one could see him, thankfully. As he walked the yards, Hyde half wondered what it was like to have hundreds of people cheering you on, while another few hundred booed at you. What it was like to tackle a guy and be praised for it rather than a two week suspension tacked on to your already marred permanent record. What it was like to make a field goal, or the winning touch down, or more or less have somebody proud of you. But anything in a certain organization, he didn't participate in, especially high school sports. Plus, he hated the entire football team, and he'd be a hypocrite if he even thought about joining.

The almost sixteen year old barely sprinkled the gasoline on the lush green field, spelling out a sentence, a drawing, and then his initials... backwards. It was hard for him to write, when he couldn't see what he was doing, yet if it came out anything like how he wanted it to, it would be hilariously perfect. Flicking the wheel of his Zippo, Hyde lowered the lighter to where he felt he started his sentence, and watched as the grass burst in to flames, at first one giant practically mushroom ball of a flame, yet calmed to.. of course, show in a sloppy, yet readable writing, to read: 'Vikings Suck Tiny' and a drawing of... well, you can imagine. As well as his own initials, written in reverse order, glowing red and orange in the grass... it would all die out eventually. Hyde then tossed the bottle he had stored the gasoline in onto the field, partly because "littering wasn't cool" and also he didn't feel like holding on to it; evidence. Digging in his pocket, he pulled out a cigarette, and lit the tip, breathing in the smoke in a way to calm him down. He was craving one so badly right now. As he took a long drag, he chuckled softly, glancing at the football field he had just walked across; had he really just skipped class to burn and vandalize school property?

"Yup," he answered his own question as he ran up the steps two at a time. He had no intentions of walking back into the school doors, she shouldn't have gone in the first place, and he was exhausted. Eric's car was usually unlocked, so he probably had a place to sleep. WHen he finally neared the Juniors side of the parking lot, Hyde smirked. Flicking the ash off the butt of his cigarette, he walked up to Kelso, who looked mildly annoyed.

"Where were you? I've been out here for like twenty minutes!" God, he sounded like a freaked out, over protective parent.

"To be fair, I've only been out here nine minutes, man," Hyde replied smugly. Kelso let out an exasperated sigh and scowled, which amused Hyde.

"Well I said like," Kelso huffed, Hyde chuckled softly and leaned against the back hatch of the Vista Cruiser as he breathed in one more hit from his cigarette.

"Listen, I'm really tired, so I'm gonna sleep in Forman's car, so-"

"Great idea! There's a blanket in the back we could share!" Hyde gave Kelso and incredulous look, before shuddering. But when he realized his friend wasn't joking, Hyde lowered his head in defeat, and groaned softly.

"Fine," he growled distastefully, popping open the back of the Vista Cruiser, "But if you touch me at all, I will kick your ass," he warned as he wriggled into the backseat, with Kelso excitedly hopping in next to him. Kelso was notorious for cuddling people when they were sleeping... and that was not a Hyde thing. And with Kelso... or any guy, that was just disgusting.

"Deal!"

* * *

He was moving. Why was he moving? How long had he been out? It only felt like minutes, then again he was dead tired. He didn't smoke anything but cigarettes, so the moving factor couldn't be an effect of too much "circle time." He heard voices too, very familiar voices. And what the hell was on his back? Slowly, Hyde turned around and his face changed from a bewildered, sleepy expression to a very creeped out, about to scream face. He violently jumped back, pushing away a dead to the world Kelso, who had gone against all Hyde said, and had somehow, for some reason, had his hand on his back.

'I'm gonna kill him,' Hyde thought, shuddering violently as he sat up, sliding on his glasses.

"Why are we moving?" He declared, yawning. He heard Eric squeak and both Eric and Donna turn around, wondering where the voice came from. The two of them seemed to physically relax when they saw Hyde, but their eyes bugged as Kelso sat up next to him. Hyde glared at the older boy, and scooted away, with a sneer.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Forman cried, eyes still on the road, but kept glancing back every so often.

"What are you guys doing in here?" Hyde replied, honestly confused. School couldn't be out already.

"I cut class," Hyde burst out laughing at that. Forman cutting class was like Hyde becoming an honor roll student. It was never going to happen.

"Yeah, right," Hyde grumbled, smirking, "So, was there like a fire drill or something?"

"No! Look... I do bad things..." Eric tried to defend himself, but only sounded more 'innocent'. Donna, Kelso, and Hyde each exchanged looks, and suddenly, all three burst out laughing at the same time. Hyde got a big kick out of that. "I've ditched class before!" Eric barked angrily, upset with his friends and future girlfriend.

"Oh..." Kelso mocked with a baby voice, "is Opie getting angry?" Hyde chuckled at that, and would give Kelso a high five, if he weren't so pissed off at him.

"What did I tell you about calling me Opie?" Eric practically shouted, making Hyde wince.

"Opie!" Donna cried, "look out for that keg in the middle of the road!" Eric suddenly swerved as he slammed his foot against the brake. Hyde nearly hit his head on the back seat window again, but if he had, he wouldn't have cared. He was too mesmerized.

There was a keg. In the middle of the road.

Hyde's eyes lit up as he gazed, hypnotized at this perfectly new, untouched keg that just lay contently in the middle of the road. Who would abandon such a beautiful thing? This was destiny.

"Wow!" Donna gasped, Hyde smirked, eyes shining like a kid's on Christmas.

"It is a keg." Eric mumbled; this was just getting better and better!

"Of beer!" Kelso chirped, Hyde shot him a curious, confused look, but quickly turned back to the glorious keg.

"It must be a sign..." he trailed off, completely mind boggled by the fact that there was a keg in the middle of the road.

"Of beer!" Hyde slugged Kelso finally, but still, he was in a good mood. His past anger and annoyance at Kelso had been long forgotten; now he was just being stupid.

"That's it!" Eric exclaimed, "I'm skipping school everyday!" Hyde nodded slowly, his grin growing brighter.

"So... what are we going to do with it?" Kelso asked. Stopping his nod, the fifteen year old sluggishly turned his head to the boy next to him.

"What... what are going to do with it?" Hyde repeated, voice raised. "We're gonna take it, that's what!" And with that, Hyde opened his door and motioned with his hand for someone to help him; he couldn't lift that thing all by himself.

"All right!" Kelso cried excitedly, then quickly followed Hyde to the keg. Hyde fit his hand under the keg, the other on the handle, and Kelso followed suit on the other side. Bracing his shoulders, Hyde lifted the keg, Kelso struggled a bit because of an awkward grip he had achieved, but finally had his end lifted as well.

"Move!" Hyde grunted, muscles already aching a bit. The two teens slowly walked, more like hobbled to opened hatch in the back of the Vista Cruiser, that Eric had thankfully opened for them. As soon as the keg was balanced perfectly, Hyde sighed contently as the feeling came back into his hands, tingling his fingers.

Slamming the trunk closed, he turned around and grinned at Kelso who was panting heavily, wigglings his arms. As they both got back in the car, Hyde could not be happier. Yeah, most of his day sucked, but trashing the football field had been fun. And they found a freaking keg in the middle of the road.

"This is the best- day- ever." Hyde chirped, smiling smugly.

* * *

"Open the door, open the door!" Hyde called to Eric, face wrinkled as his muscles strained to carry the keg down the cement stairs to the basement. Eric ran ahead of him, and did as he was told, Hyde couldn't wait to set the thing down. As he and Kelso entered the basement, Fez and Jackie turned to the loud teens slightly struggling to carry in the keg, and gazed at them, confused, but excited.

"How did you find it?" Fez cried happily, eyes lit up like wildfire.

"We were driving down the road, man, and there she was!" Hyde cried, voice strained from carrying the keg. He and Kelso set down it down on the cement floor, and he relaxed when his arms were free of the heaviness from the keg.

"Oh, it was beer in the headlights!" Fez chirped, laughing quietly to himself, Hyde wasn't sure whether to laugh or not... "That is my first American joke!" The fifteen year old chuckled softly and just stared at each of his friends, as they continued the conversation.

"Wow, how often do you find a mysterious keg of free beer?" Eric asked, Hyde pocketed his hands again.

"Only once in awhile," Hyde turned to Kelso, curious; this was a rare opportunity... it didn't happen everyday.

"You're right, Forman, man, you're absolutely right!" He smirked, a bright idea blooming through his head. "When God gives you a keg, you gotta-"

"Kill a virgin!" Hyde's eyes bugged as Fez chirped his reply happily. Was he kidding?

"No, throw a party!" Correct answer. Hyde glanced at Donna who was grinning, silently listening to the conversation develop.

"Yeah, we'll throw a party!" Eric finally replied, the gang all looked at each other, eyes flickering with mischief and plots.

"Two bucks a head, a keg is seven cases, that's a hundred and sixty-eight beers," Kelso mumbled quietly, figuring out the math. Hyde turned his attention to him... the guy was on to something. "If we each take three beers a piece-"

"No way, sophomore's gonna drink one, maybe." Hyde added, Kelso nodded slowly at his bit of information.

"Two." Kelso reasoned, Hyde shrugged.

"Yeah, and the freshman's gonna take a half." Though, when he was a freshman, he could drink way more than just half a beer. But these freshman, well... to be nice... they were really lame.

"So that averages out to one point five beers per person," Hyde glanced at his friend with raised eyebrows, unsure of how he figured this out through just his brain... but sometimes Kelso could be very surprising. "Which means we can invite 112 people, and that's $224..."

"Cash," Hyde filled, in, a small smirk beginning to grow on his face again.

"Which is-"

"Decent!" They both cried together, and laughed. This would be a great way to earn a lot of money, if everything went right.

Hyde glanced at Eric who was looking around the room, he appeared to be trying to figure something out.

"Okay," the sixteen year old began, "grab some ice out of the deep freeze, I'll grab the tub." Hyde grimaced and walked passed Jackie and Fez, silently obeying Eric. The sooner they got out of there and could have this kegger; the better. Slamming down the freezer door, Hyde stopped, his hands holding the two eight pound bags of ice. Footsteps lightly flew down the stairs and he quickly dashed back over to Kelso, trying not to look suspicious with two bags of ice.

"Hey gang!" Kitty cried happily, her nurse's uniform in her arms. "Oh, don't mind me, I just came to do an emergency presoak on my uniform. You remember Mr. Wilber, the fireman? Well, he came in today with this sebaceous cyst, which is a pocket of fluid that's like a puss-y bath oil bean under the skin, and you think it's solid. But you take an instrument and pierce the core, and then you apply pressure on it with your thumb…"

Hyde just stared at the middle aged woman, his eyebrows raised, and his stomach churning with disgust. How could she find this story slightly appealing to tell a group of teenagers? He glanced around and saw all of his friends' faces were full of disgust.

Eric walked out from the back of the basement with the metal tub in his arms. Hyde bit his lip, unsure of what Mrs. Forman would say when she saw her son with the basin, and Hyde with the ice.

"Well, hi Snickelfritz! What are you doing with the tub?" Hyde snorted as she addressed Eric, who glared at his mom.

"Oh, the tub… we're just working on a class project." Good cover.

"We're making a volcano," Hyde added, everyone turned to him, as he smirked, "Snickelfritz," he mocked Eric, who rolled his eyes at his friend. Kitty looked at Hyde, confused, as did everyone else.

"Out of ice? Well, I think it might melt!" She laughed, and everyone sighed with relief; she bought it!

"Well, you heard her!" Eric cried enthusiastically, "let's move it, gang!" Kitty gazed happily at her son, with a bright smile on her face.

"Okay, well, have fun!" The six friends are silent as the wait for Kitty to go upstairs, Hyde, in boredom, began to play with the lighter in his pocket, not lighting it.

"Guys," Eric spoke as soon as they were sure she was out of ear shot, "we really needt o get that keg out of here."

"Well, where are we going to have the party?" Donna asked, Hyde was pretty sure that's what everyone wanted to know. He considered offering his house, but he knew Edna was home. And if Edna was in 50 feet of a keg, she'd drink it all, and invite her stupid friends over and it would turn into a disgusting orgy like it always did. So Hyde kept his mouth shut, and waited for someone else to have a better idea.

"Beats me, if you guys need me, I'll be with Jackie over at our secret make out place." Eric, Donna, Fez, and Hyde all glanced up at each other, smirking as they thought of the same thing.

"Secret make out place," Donna murmured.

"Yeah! Kelso cried, "it's this vacant house over on Sherman, I mean this place is great!" he grinned, "It's totally private, you can get away with about anything there. So… if you guys find a place for that keg, let me know." The four watch as the oldest of the group left the basement, Hyde waiting for the moment that Kelso would have his epiphany. Hyde didn't understand how Kelso didn't get that they could use the vacant house for the kegger. Though, in a few moments, Kelso would realize this, and return to the basement. Hyde didn't understand the guy at all... didn't want to understand him, but accepted him and his stupidity.

Donna glanced up from looking at her watch, and gives a nod to the door. Hyde had no clue how she knew, but they all figured he'd run back in a matter of a few seconds, but not at her signal, Kelso ran into the basement, his eyes lit.

"I got an idea!" Hyde rolled his eyes and frogged Kelso, who winced at the sudden fierce contact. "I was going to say we could use the lot on Sherman, but…"

"We're going to," Donna and Eric chimed in, in unison.

"I'll go grab the plastic cups from my place," Donna said, then quickly ran out of the basement. Hyde tossed the two bags of ice into the tub that Eric still held, and he bit his lip as the weight was added. Kelso and Hyde both bent down to pick up the keg, Hyde's arms were now well adjusted to the weight with little struggle, he could lift it. Unfortunately, Eric went first, and as the lankier of the three had problems climbing up the cement stairs, Hyde was losing his patience.

"Come on Forman!" He cried under the strain of the keg, a foot now finally on the stairs.

"It's heavy!" Hyde scoffed and shook his head at his friend's cry, was he being serious?

"Boo hoo Forman, no hurry up," Hyde barked, trying to adjust to the awkward angle Kelso zig zagged into on the stair below him.

"Yeah, Eric! At least you're not carrying the keg!" Kelso added in, Hyde just gave a glance at his friend and bit back his lip.

As soon as Eric was off the stairs, Hyde practically ran up the steps in comparison to Eric's sloth-like movements. He and Kelso had to be careful so that Red and Kitty didn't see them with the keg, the metal tub already had a lame excuse. He walked towards the driveway, dragging Kelso behind him, and Fez tagging along with.

"Fez, open the hatch!" Eric called to him, Hyde watched as Fez zipped excitedly to help Eric... he probably felt like he was doing something helpful. Which he was. If they didn't have Fez around, Hyde would have dropped his end of the keg, and have it land on Kelso's toes. Eric ended up needing help to set the tub in the back of the Vista Cruiser, so that there would be more room for the keg.

"Move!" Hyde barked at the two, who were marveling their job well done. Hyde and Kelso practically tossed the keg into the back, a very weak toss, in attempts to free their aching arms.

Once Donna returned from her home with a large supply of cups, the gang scrambled into the Vista Cruiser. Eric pulled swiftly out of the driveway and sped down the street; Hyde just stared at the keg... something seemed off... but he didn't name it.

Thankfully, Sherman was close to Eric's house, so the driving wasn't so bad, or he didn't have to deal with Forman driving for very long, he should say. As soon as they arrived, they hauled ass to set everything up. Hyde tried to block out Jackie's whining about them stealing their secret make out place.

"Fez," Hyde called to the sixteen year old who sat on the ledge of the pool. "I don't care about the last time you ate, get in here!"

"Fine, but if I get a cramp it will be on your head!" Fez grumbled, hopping down. Hyde just stared at the odd fellow; there wasn't any water. Didn't he realize that- nevermind, he didn't even want to question. Sometimes he wondered how his friends could be so... stupid.

"Okay," Jackie piped up sourly, "Hurry up and drink your keg." Hyde's eyes widened as his head slowly turned to her direction, mouth agape.

"Hurry up and drink a keg?" He asked incredulously; did she not understand what a keg was?

"Jackie, will you just meddle out? I mean, this rules! We got a keg and soon everybody's gonna be here!" Jackie's head snapped to her boyfriend, and glowered at him.

"Everybody?" She questioned him bitterly.

"Everybody who matters," Eric saved Kelso, "And for the first time, Jackie, that includes you." In mock, they all surrounded her and wrapped their arms around her, or whoever they were standing by in a group hug. Jackie scrambled to get away from them, which amused Hyde.

"Get away from me!" The fourteen year old shrieked angrily. Hyde smirked.

"You heard her, let's drink beer!" He exclaimed, his friends grinned happily at his outburst.

"Me first!" Kelso cried, Hyde grimaced.

"No way," Donna fought her way forward, "I spotted it!" Hyde nodded; she had a point.

"Nah, I saw it too, I just didn't say anything!"

_What did he just say?_

Hyde snapped his head to Kelso, another angry expression on his face. Punching his shoulder, Hyde stepped up next to Donna.

"You saw a keg and you didn't _say _anything?" Hyde cried, glaring at his friend, though none of them could see his angry eyes. "Back of the line!"

Eric shuffled next to Hyde, who just stared down at the keg, with a wicked grin on his face.

"All right," Eric started, looking at the keg by his friend, "how do you get the beer out?"

"Through the tap!" Hyde chirped confidently, a smug smile plastered on his face. Then it dawned on him.

"What tap?" Eric's question only proved that he wasn't going insane. There was no tap.

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" Hyde shouted woefully, sprawling onto the keg, holding it close. He bowed his head, and took a deep breath. "Guys... we really need a tap here," he whined, voice breaking with emotion as he slowly stood up after his emotional display.

"I got my swiss army knife!" Hyde glared at Kelso, too pissed off to even hit him, he felt more like running.

"What are we gonna do? Widdle out the beer?" Hyde barked sarcastically, then scoffed, slamming his hands in his pockets.

_'Things are gonna turn to shit real fast,' _Hyde thought, the tap-less keg was a sure sign. _'This fucking sucks,' _Hyde added, glaring at his friends as they spoke. _  
_

He should have known that the mysterious keg in the middle of the road was too good to be true. Everything was.


	37. Mean Disposition

_**Author's Note: I'm hoping I can have this all finished by tonight (Monday) but I'm adding more to this chapter, so it may not be done until tomorrow or Wednesday. I hope this one is enjoyable, I'm going to try to add some humor, but the chapters until Hyde Moves In are going to be pretty angsty and angry ones. Just thought I'd let you know. This is a break between The Keg and That Disco Episode, because I just felt like adding an original chapter :). Hope you enjoy this one! **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie.**_

_**PS: We haven't had a Jackie and Hyde scene in awhile (there will be more in the future, a surprise! But canon, nonetheless) And in the future, there will be a Kitty vs. Edna scene too, which I'm so excited about because I love those! :D**_

_**PPS: This one is quite short. Sorry.  
**_

* * *

_I'm getting wise to you, you're going to see. I'm going to work on you the way you worked on me. I got a sharper aim, and you're in my sights. And if I'm going to go, I'm going in a blaze of lights. In this crazy world of hit and run, there are no laws here; just a loaded gun. I never close my eyes and I never sleep. I'm staying on my guard, waiting for my flesh to creep. And I never trusted you, and you never trusted me. I'll do a deal with you, if you'll do a deal with me. For me the nightmare's only just begun. There is no law here; just a loaded gun. I'm going have to stand my ground, like Crockett at the Alamo. I'm going to draw the line; one of us has got to go..._

"STEVEN!"

Hyde stared blankly at his wall, guitar resting comfortably on his lap as he plucked away at the strings. He considered replying, but as he stared at his closed door, decided against it, and continued playing his guitar and acting as though he hadn't heard Edna's loud scream from the other room. He just wanted to be alone.

The door slammed open, he jumped at the sudden noise and glanced up slowly at his half naked mom. He wrinkled his nose and turned his head back to the floor, repulsed by the sight of his nearly nude mother.

"Put on some-"

"Shut up!" Edna hissed, taking a shaky draw from her cigarette as she staggered towards his mattress. "Listen, you shit, I got a friend coming over-" Hyde snorted.

"You have friends?"

"SHUT IT!" Edna bellowed, voice hoarse, she raised her hand and Hyde flinched, putting his hands over his face, guitar sliding onto the mattress from his abrupt movement. His heart beat rapidly as the threat of a hit was near, she had been getting more aggressive as of late, thankfully it wasn't nearly as bad as Bud... but it's been up there recently. "She's bringin' her baby, and I told her you'd watch the brat. So you better, or you'll have hell to pay."

Hyde blinked, hands hesitantly lowering back to his lap as he just stared up at Edna, who was already drunk. She volunteered him to take care of someone else's kid? He wasn't good with them, well, didn't want to be good with them at least. He hadn't held a baby since Chris, and that thought absolutely terrified him.

"What'll happen if I don't?" He barked, Edna's lip curled in a scowl and rolled her eyes, turning away from him. Then, unpredicted, she lashed her hand out and slapped his cheek, long, jagged fingernails scratching against his scruffy cheek. He shivered and looked at her, wondering why the hell he deserved to be hit.

"Do you really want to find out?" She hissed acidly, Hyde shrugged, rubbing his numb cheek and felt parts of his skin scraped from her nails. His face stung at his touch, and as he removed his left hand, saw a trickle of blood on his fingers.

"Whatever," he grumbled, sliding off his mattress. Edna just shook her head and left, stumbling through his room as she walked out. Hyde glared as she slammed the door, and as he sat on the floor, sighed heavily.

His stomach was queasy, and his head ached, eyes stinging from exhaustion as he remained stretched out on the floor. He was so fucking tired, but whenever he closed his eyes, the repulsive images of the night before ran through his brain, and it made him want to throw up. He needed coffee.

Hyde slipped on a plaid button down shirt and corduroy pants; he had gotten a couple of new-ish clothes. Then again, new clothes for him meant 25 cent shirts and 50 cent pants from the Goodwill. But as long as they fit, they were okay.

Placing his sunglasses over his eyes, he slowly walked out of his room, legs sore with each step he took. As he sluggishly made his way throughout his house, he didn't even turn to the living room where Edna was ranting about something stupid that he didn't give two shits about. Hyde just dragged himself to the grimy kitchen, where dirty dishes took up most of the counter space, and stains of more than one kind covered the once white linoleum. Surprisingly, Edna had actually pressed the button on the stolen coffee maker instead of him, meaning coffee was ready... hopefully it wasn't poisoned. Pouring himself a glass, he watched the steam rise in the mug, and took a large gulp of the black coffee. He felt it burn his throat, but he didn't care, he preferred to feel the burn rather than... Hyde shuddered, and clutched his stomach as nausea persisted.

With a lack of an appetite, Hyde opened the fridge and stared at the few items inside, ¾ of the barely full refrigerator was alcohol, and the rest was old food. Hopefully there wasn't something too old that he could munch. As he took a bite out of an apple that he didn't know was rotten, Hyde wrinkled his nose and felt himself gag; minimal appetite now in the negatives. He tossed the apple in the garbage bag and wiped his mouth, taking slow breaths as he began to search through the cupboards. It was hard to keep under the radar around Edna as he sifted through the nearly empty shelves a little too loudly in the kitchen.

_'I can't take care of a fucking baby today, God dammit,'_ Hyde thought as he leaned against the sink, his head lowered as he stared at his bare feet. _'Why did Edna say I could in the first place?'_ he kicked the wooden cabinet with his heel, and sighed.

"'Cause she's a bitch," Hyde quietly answered his own question.

"Steven!" He perked when Edna called his name, his hand wiping over the scratch on his cheek, it wasn't bleeding anymore. "It's Molly."

"Dammit," Hyde breathed, hitting his forehead against the freezer door multiple times; that changed everything. Just the simple fact that the friend coming over was Molly made all the difference to Hyde. Molly was Edna's dealer's wife. She had four kids that all lived in a trailer, and by the welts and bruises that always covered her and the twerps, they were all abused. The oldest son was a couple years younger than Hyde, the youngest, Molly's eight month old daughter. He always had a soft spot for the young mother, who always looked so pale and skeletal. He worried about her and the kids, they knew the kind of hell he went through, but he couldn't stand her three sons. They were spitting replicas of their father, in looks and personality.

"Okay," he called to Edna, biting his lip. He knew the baby he'd be watching, he knew her quite well. Her name was Abigail, she had red spiral hair just like her mom's and chubby cheeks. She was a cute baby who was much too small for her age. But for such a crappy lifestyle for a child at such a young age, the baby was lively and always content... at least when he saw her... which wasn't often.

"When they get here, just take the brat and get out. Take the car, I don't care." Hyde scowled and limped into the living room, ducking away from the whiskey bottle that had been chucked at him. "Stop your fucking limping, Steven, do you want people to know?"

"Will you seriously just shut up?" Hyde snapped sourly, earning another bottle tossed at his head.

"Watch your fucking mouth." Edna warned, he sneered and rubbed his shoulder where the glass bottle had managed to hit. It didn't hurt that much, but he could still feel it. Before he slammed his door shut, he flipped off his mom who stood up at his obscene hand gesture, and stormed towards his room. He closed and locked his door quickly, both locks, and slid down the inside of the door, curling his legs to his chest. As her fist pounded heavily on his door, he closed his eyes and breathed deeply, his chest tight as he felt his body tense...

_Just like Bud she came home pissed and drunk._

_Just like Bud she slammed the door and started screaming at him._

_Just like the old days she told him he'd never amount to anything._

**_Scum. Loser. Freak. Lost-cause. No hope. Not worth it. Disgusting._**

_Just like a child, he sat there, scared._

_Just like a child, he believed every word she said._

**_He'd never amount to anything. He wasn't worth it._**

**_He'd be better off dead. He made everyone miserable._**

**_He couldn't take it. He couldn't deal with her._**

J_ust like Bud she lashed out and hit him._

_Just like Bud she beat him until he couldn't move._

_(First time for everything)_

_Just like a child, he took it._

_Just like a child, he felt he deserved every ounce of pain._

**_He deserved it. He was good for nothing. He deserved it._**

_"Mom," he heard himself whisper, as he waned consciousness. Everything was blurry. Everything was spinning. He felt weightless and too heavy all at the same time. He felt her sharp nails on his bare stomach, and he felt like throwing up. "Stop touching me." _

_"Shut up, boy." She hissed, her thumb nail and index finger nail squeezing his lips shut, her other hand covering his nose. His torso heaved as he fought for air, and she laughed. She briefly let go of his mouth, and her hand came down on his temple._

_Just like the good old days, he passed out. _

_He was thankful for that. He was unconscious for everything else..._

"STEVEN OPEN THE FUCKING-" Edna instantly stopped screaming.

Hyde's eyes were squeezed shut, his stomach knotting, lungs aching as he recalled the night before. His body trembling violently as he was huddled on the floor, biting his lip as hard as possible to keep from screaming at the top of his lungs. She was just like Bud. She was just like Bud and she fucking knew it.

The sound of a shrill cry filled his ears, and he raised his head, sensitive to the sound. It was something he hadn't heard for awhile, and as soon as the wail filled his ears, he softened. There was someone worse off than him. And her name was Abigail. Shakily, Hyde stood up and took a deep breath before hesitantly unlocking his door. Hand trembling, he opened the door and slowly walked out, head bowed as he tried not to make any contact with Edna.

"Steven," he heard the soft, high voice of Molly. Instantly, he felt himself being gathered in a warm embrace and he saw the short, too skinny young woman hugging him tightly. "Thank you so much for doing this... she... she's g-got everything. Just... j-just take her, please." He shrugged his shoulders and patted her shoulder as she pointed to the couch with the stuffing about to explode out. The tiny red haired baby was in her portable bassinet, crying loudly... which for some reason didn't make him annoyed. He felt Edna's cold hand practically punch his chest as she thrust two $20 bills into him. He tugged the money from her tight grip and glared at her momentarily before taking the baby and leaving without a word.

As he stepped outside, he realized that before he stepped into the station wagon, he would need to make the Abigail stop crying... he would not be able to concentrate at all with her ceaseless wailing. Plus it made him sad. First, he dug into the bag that Molly had given him and found a half full bottle that was still warm. As he pressed the nipple of the bottle to her lips, he groaned in annoyance when she turned her head defiantly. She wouldn't drink. Or eat her gross baby food, though he understood why she wouldn't. She didn't have a dirty diaper. Or a fever.

"What's wrong, Abby?" He half whined, ten minute later in defeat, so desperate to make the weeping stop. He sighed softly and picked her up and cradled her securely in his arms, like his grandma had taught him. He rocked her slowly and watched in awe as the loud shrill turned to a soft whimper, then a coo of happiness. He smiled when the corner of her lips turned upward, and she practically grinned at him. "All you needed was some love." he mumbled, smirking as she started wiggling around in his arms, laughing.

"Hey, calm down kid- ow!" He just stopped talking when Abby grabbed his nose. "Dot fuddy," he grumbled, nose being plugged by her small hand. She just giggled, and he chuckled... it was better than crying. "You are cute," he mumbled in defeat as she clapped her hands together. "I know a bunch of- hey!" Hyde felt his sunglasses being tugged off of his face, and watched as she stuck the sides into her mouth, her brown eyes glittering happily. "Dammit," He growled, yet he wasn't mad, as he caressed the baby's face. "This sucks." Hyde buckled Abby in her baby carrier, making sure she was secure... just in case he may get in a rare accident.

How he got stuck with a baby, he didn't know, but the dimpled curly red-haired girl helped make him forget about things. Sighing contently, Hyde backed out of his driveway, going to the one place Abby would feel the most loved. The kid needed a break from hell, and for a day and a night, he could help.

* * *

Hyde sat alone in the basement with Abby, playing with her while he waited for his friends to arrive. As soon as he walked into the house, Mrs. Forman had completely gushed over Abby and decided to take her off his hands for awhile... but then Red saw the baby, and made him take her down in the basement, much to Kitty's disapproval. Kitty had informed him that his friends had gone to the mall or something, and that they should be here soon. He didn't mind much, he hated the mall, and Abby had once again found a way in his heart, so he was all right.

The giggling and random noises that the baby made were hilarious to Hyde; he had even put his sunglasses on her, and she made a 'Hyde' face, which made him wish he had a camera. She was bouncing on his knees and squealing with overwhelming joy, and just knowing that the baby was happy made him happy, as well. The gentle, yet surprisingly tight grasp Abby had on his thumb made him laugh, her hands and feet were so little. And she probably thought he was a giant.

"Hey, Abs, are you-" The eight month old shut him up by grabbing his bottom lip and tugging on it lightly. "Hey, let go!" He struggled to talk against her hold, then decided to poke her little belly, which made her erupt with gurgling laughter. "Why are you so cute? You should be spoiled, or at least have a better dad and home, man. I can only hope for the best for you in the future. Your mom... she's great though. I know that she loves you a lot, " he whispered, her wide brown eyes looked sad as they gazed in his blue.

"No!" she cried, his eyes widened at her angry sounding voice... he didn't know she could speak. "No, no, no, no, NO!" Hyde winced as she began screaming the same word over and over again in distress, his eyes sad for this troubled baby.

"No... it's true." He fought, running his hand through her auburn curls. "Mommy loves you." But all she did was put her own hand in his dark blonde curls. Hyde chuckled and gave up on the sentimental speaking, it was good for nothing, and lifted her tiny shirt, blowing raspberries on her stomach. Once again, the baby giggled hysterically, and he sighed with relief, glad that she was happy once more. After awhile, he noticed her eyes started to droop, as well as her head, and he smiled, rubbing her back gently as he began to hum. He watched as her eyes fluttered shut and she relaxed in his lap.

"Sweet, sweet little baby, time to close your eyes," he sang quietly, off the top of his head. "Sweet, sweet little girl, it's time for you to dream..." As he began to sing the same two lines over again, he heard her rhythmic breathing, which told him she was asleep. He sighed softly and caressed her pudgy arm as he sat stretched out on the couch. He spaced off, not really paying attention to anything as he stopped singing and began humming the tune he had just been singing. Holding the baby made him think of Chris, and maybe that was why he felt like he should care about her so much... it was something he couldn't do for Chris. So maybe he was making up for what he couldn't do for his own brother. Hyde was so zoned out, that he didn't hear quiet, clicking footsteps on the outside basement stairs, and if he had, then he would have tried to hide Abby, but he was so comfortable, that Led Zeppelin could walk in the room and he wouldn't even budge.

"Hyde?" He startled at the high pitched voice, then turned abruptly to the door leading outside. He grimaced and turned away when seeing just Jackie and he sighed softly, patting Abby's leg. "What's that?" The fourteen year old asked, sitting down next to him. He rolled his eyes and shrugged.

"What do you think?" He replied with a question, Jackie huffed and folded her arms across her chest.

"Well why do you have her?"

"Does it matter?" She groaned in annoyance and turned away from him. He scowled and also turned away, but gave his attention to Abby, who squirmed in her sleep.

"Not really. I just didn't know you liked kids." Hyde shrugged and felt the eight month old squeeze his index finger tightly.

"Who says I do?" He felt her re-position herself, and Hyde glanced at the annoyed girl, who sat on the old couch with her legs tucked to her stomach. For a moment it felt like she could see right through his sunglasses, but he knew she couldn't, and he was thankful for that. No one needed to see his vulnerability.

"Do you want kids when you're older?" Jackie asked him out of the blue, Hyde shook his head. "Why not? You seem great with them." Hyde chuckled.

"That's because she's sleeping, and I don't..." he trailed off, not finishing his sentence. He didn't talk to Jackie Burkhart.

"Don't what?"

"Nothing."

"Ugh!" She squealed in anger, punching his shoulder. He flinched, glaring at her through his shades, her head tilted in curiosity at his reaction. Jackie sighed softly and bit her lip, trying to adjust to the silence, but she wasn't accustomed to the lack of talking. "Why don't you want kids?"

"Do you want kids?"

"Yes! I want five kids, three girls and two boys. And I'll live in a nice house, with Michael, and..."

"Oh shoot me," he grumbled to himself, bowing his head as she began to ramble about her dream with Kelso. It made him sick.

"I think I know why you don't want kids," the chipper girl piped up as she finished her future goals of child bearing. Hyde scoffed and raised his eyebrows, mock excited to hear what she had to say. "You don't want to make the same mistakes as your parents... you're afraid you'd be a bad parent. But you wouldn't be, you saw their mistakes and you know that-"

"Do you talk just to hear the sound of your own voice?" Hyde interrupted; not wanting to hear his own feelings being broadcasted by the cheerleader.

"Yes! I find it naturally soothing..."

"Gee... I bet..." he growled, hitting the back of his head against the couch, earning a shock of pain to course through him. "Ow." he whispered, rubbing the back of his neck.

"What happened to your face?" Jackie asked him, Hyde tilted his head, wondering what the hell she was talking about. Then he remembered Edna scratched his cheek, and he sighed.

"Will you shut your trap?"

"-Should probably call Hyde, to see if he wants to hang out." Hyde could have jumped for joy at the sound of Eric's distant voice on the steps outside.

"Yeah, get him out of hell for awhile." Kelso added.

"Why is he in hell?" Fez asked, Jackie turned to Hyde, eyes full of she began to reach out to feel the swollen scratch, Hyde quickly jerked his head away from her.

"What is that?" He heard Donna ask, the four older teens standing in the doorway, confused.

"A baby," Hyde mumbled in response. Just like he imagined, they all gushed over Abby, and went completely gaga over the pretty girl, which ended up waking her up. And Kelso's face being an inch from hers didn't help calm her. As as the shrill cry rang through the basement, all of them retreated with their hands over their ears, except Jackie, who sat, watching Hyde as he tried to calm Abby.

"Abs," he coed, bouncing her lightly on his knee to amuse her, "I know Kelso looks scary, he just can't help it. But he means well. Here, now you can't see him." Hyde said, putting his sunglasses up by her eyes. Abby giggled and took a hold of them, and nibbled on the tip of his sunglasses. "How cute," he mumbled sarcastically with a smirk, the eight month old cooed and slapped her hand on the side of his head, tugging on his dark blonde hair.

Hyde glanced up at his friends who were all google eyed. They had never seen him like this, because there were never any kids around, and though he said he hated them, he did have a soft spot for children. Mostly because they were so innocent and naive; unaware of the pain and anger of the real world. They lived in their own worlds where everyone loved everyone and there was no pain. But he friends hadn't ever seen him like this either, but honestly, he didn't care.

"I didn't know you liked kids!" Donna piped up, sitting next to Jackie, who was quiet. Hyde just shrugged his shoulders, holding on to Abby, who started playing with Jackie's curly hair.

"Yeah, who are you and what have you done with Hyde?" He raised an eyebrow at Kelso, who stared quizzically at him, which confused Hyde, but he wouldn't question.

"Whatever, man, it's just a baby. We were all babies."

"Hyde with a child... it's like looking into the very near future." Hyde scowled at Fez's words, which had made everyone laugh, except for the girl beside him. He wondered why the fourteen year old was being so quiet. Glancing at her, he met her gaze and saw her eyes wide. For the first time he noticed her eyes were two different colors, and he found that odd. His eyes were squinted, trying to figure out why she was just staring at him, because, in all honesty, it was freaking him out.

"Hello!" Kelso cried, poking Jackie's arm. "Earth to Jackie!" She spun around and plastered a smile on her face, which broke their odd eye contact. Hyde took this as the time to avert his own gaze, on Donna, who was happily gazing at Abby.

"Sorry, the baby just looked sad," Jackie mumbled, which confused everyone, since after Hyde cheered her up, all Abby was doing was laughing and being cute. Hyde glanced at Jackie, who was looking at him once again as he slowly placed his sunglasses on. He noticed that as soon as he did so, the girl turned her attention to Kelso, and didn't even look back at him.

"Hey Hyde!" Fez chirped, Hyde turned to the boy who was barely older than him. "Can I show miss Abby my eye popping trick?"

"NO!" Everyone screamed, then clamped their mouths shut, in fear of making Abby cry. Yet as they turned their attention to the girl, saw that the noise and everyone's reactions only made her giggle even more.

* * *

"Steven!" Hyde heard Mrs. Forman cry from upstairs two hours later. Everyone turned their attention to him, from the television. It was extremely odd for Mrs. Forman to call him up the stairs, and not Eric, and once he heard his name, his stomach squirmed. "Can you come here for a moment?"

Sighing softly, glanced down at the sleeping baby nuzzled on his chest, and bit his lip. What was he going to do with her.

"I'll take her," Jackie suddenly said. Hyde shrugged his shoulders, and carefully handed Abby to Jackie, who instantly snuggled against the girl.

Taking a deep breath, Hyde turned his head to his friends once more before ascending the stairs. As soon as he walked to the steps, they had turned their attention back to the television, and he grimaced. He honestly didn't know what Mrs. Forman wanted to talk to him about, and he was worried about what could be discussed. Mrs. Forman had been extremely worried about him since he went to juvie, and ever since he got back, she's tried to get him to open up, which of course he wouldn't do. He knew she cared and wanted him to be okay, and he trust her, he just didn't vent. He didn't talk. No one could expect him to.

Hyde nonchalantly walked into the kitchen, hoping his nervousness didn't show on the outside. Kitty smiled happily at him and set down the spice jar she had in her hands, and grabbed the mug of hot cocoa beside her. Hot cocoa meant talk. Hyde sighed and forced a small smile on his face as the woman hurried to go sit down.

"Steven, how are you doing, sweetie?" he chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, staring into the dark cocoa. What did Mrs. Forman expect of him? What was he supposed to tell?

"I'm fine," he responded, hands deep in his pockets. He did know that the lack of eye contact wouldn't help him with his case of 'being fine.'

"That's good, that's good. So... how are things at home?" Hyde just stared at Mrs. Forman curiously, wondering why she asked the question so abruptly.

"Uh... all right, I suppose." he answered shortly, hoping that the five worded answer would be better than his consistent two worded answers. She smiled and sighed softly, watching him as he just looked at the cocoa.

"Great! So Steven, I was just curious... Abby is a sweet baby... who's is she?"

Wait. Did Mrs. Forman think that Abby was his kid? It would actually make a lot of sense, but... no. No it didn't. He tried to picture it in her eyes; the rebel walking in with a baby that they've never seen before, and being so... attached. He shrugged as he continued his thought process, finding it a little amusing that Kitty may think that Abby was his kid. But... at the same time it made him uneasy, all the talk with Jackie about having kids... he didn't want them. He didn't want people thinking he had a kid.

"She's one of my mom's friends, I'm just looking after her today." He replied, he could have sworn she sighed with relief. He smirked softly and finally took a sip of the hot chocolate, which calmed Mrs. Forman even more.

"Oh, okay!" Mrs. Forman chirped, smiling at the fifteen year old. "So, what happened to your cheek, sweetie?"

"Uh..." Hyde trailed off, knowing she was talking about the scratch. He wasn't sure what to say; if he said he was in a fight, then she'd be upset with him. If he told her the truth, she would freak out. He couldn't tell her. "I cut it shaving." Hey, it could work. Kitty laughed and Hyde tried to chuckle, but he really wasn't in the mood to attempt a fake laugh.

"You shave?" Hyde smirked and nodded. "Wow, you and Eric are so different!"

"Yup..." Hyde trailed off, not really wanting to talk about the growth differences between him and his best friend, with his best friend's mother... who was more like a mother to him than his own. Either way, that was just awkward. "Uh... can I go back to the basement now, please?" He asked innocently. Mrs. Forman smiled and nodded vigorously, and he inwardly sighed with relief. Before he made his way down the stairs, however, he walked up to Kitty and gave her a quick hug and kiss on the cheek.

"Thank you, Steven," She chirped, he could tell that probably made her day. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled, before disappearing into the basement. After today's events, he seriously needed some circle time...


	38. Dance, Dance

_**Author's Note: Today I was sick, so I had time to update (yay!) So here is a new chapter, and I hope you like it. There's quite a bit of humor in it... so... yeah :)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: Yes, it's Fall Out Boy, but who cares? It's fitting! :D**_

_**PPS: Thank you twiniitowers for telling me that :P otherwise I wouldn't have caught it :)  
**_

_**

* * *

**_

_She says she's no good with words but I'm worse, barely stuttered out "A joke of a romantic" or stuck to my tongue. Weighed down with words too over-dramatic. Tonight it's "it can't get much worse" vs. "no one should ever feel like.." I'm two quarters and a heart down, and I don't want to forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have so I'll write them, so you need them just to get by. Dance, Dance, we're falling apart to half time. Dance, Dance, and these are the lives you'd love to lead. Dance, this is the way they'd love if they knew how misery loved me. You always fold just before you're found out; drink up its last call. Last resort, but only the first mistake and I. I'm two quarters and a heart down, and I don't want to forget how your voice sounds. These words are all I have so I'll write them so you need them just to get by. Why don't you show me the little bit of spine, you've been saving for his mattress, love..._

_**That Disco Episode**  
_

They were being absolutely ridiculous, or they had been brain washed. How the hell had his friends gotten absorbed into society's 'normal music'? Why oh why had the decided to go to that stupid disco in Kenosha? They were all going to go to hell... and God he didn't want to see Kelso's stupid David Bowie pants. How girly were his friends becoming?

"It's all Jackie's fault," Hyde grumbled angrily, as he watched Kelso leave the garage, furious at the sophomore who had hypnotized them all, except for him, to go. But he had no choice, he didn't want to be alone. "Man I can't believe they're gonna waste all of their money on a stupid disco," Hyde began, slowly walking out of the garage himself. "When they could buy a really big bag..." Hyde stopped himself and glanced at Red, who was giving him a discouraging look, "of caramels." He finished. He swore Red scoffed and rolled his eyes at his finishing statement.

"Not going to that disco, huh?" Red asked him, Hyde sighed softly and turned around

"No," he answered, walking up to the older man. "Phony people listening to crappy music doesn't sound like my kind of time," he mumbled, Red chuckled and stared at him.

"You can't dance, can you?"

"I can dance," Hyde grumbled... that wasn't a part of the reason why he didn't want to go. Just because he couldn't dance a single step didn't mean if he could dance, that he'd actually go.

"Oh, I don't think so, pal." Red argued, a smirk on his face. Hyde felt cornered.

"I can dance," he said, more trying to convince himself that his inability to dance was not a factor of him not wanting to go.

"Not one step." He was defeated. Hyde's shoulders fell and he sighed in surrender.

"You're right," he mumbled deflatedly, "not one step." Red chuckled once more and placed his hand on Hyde's shoulder, which was brought to the fifteen year old's attention.

"Well then, you've got a problem, son. 'Cause women want to dance, they always want to dance. Always."

"Why?" Hyde asked, that was ridiculous... he didn't know why people liked to dance in the first place. It was stupid.

"Because they get close and wiggle their bodies around in front of a man in a safe atmosphere."

"See..." Hyde began, "I don't really want to wiggle around in public." He didn't, he'd look like an absolute fool, "wiggling" was not his thing. Dancing was not his thing. Sulking in corners, however, was.

"Well, of course not, you're a man." Hyde glanced up at Red, silently telling him to continue talking. "My point is, you're going to have to learn. Otherwise, later on in life, you're going to be wiggling all by yourself. Now..." Red began, looking him straight in the eye, though he had his sunglasses on. "If you want, I can help you out." Hyde sighed, he had a feeling his only option was to be helped. Red, hand still on Hyde's shoulder, led him out of the garage, and towards the sliding glass door.

"How?" Hyde asked, as they neared the door to the kitchen, he had an inkling that this was going to turn around and bite him in the ass. Red opened the door, and Hyde stepped inside, not knowing the man didn't follow him.

"Kitty!" Red called, then slammed the door shut, laughing as he walked back to the garage. Hyde stared in awe, not believing that Red Forman had gotten him tricked into something. Was this karma coming back around for making Red be the clown on that Halloween so many years ago?

"Hey, wait!" Hyde called, about to open the door, when he heard the soft padding of feet walk on the linoleum of the kitchen. This was bad, this was really, really bad. He couldn't ask Mrs. Forman to give him dance lessons, that was just stupid. He wasn't going to go, and that was final. He'd just tell Mrs. Forman that Red needed help in the garage.

"Steven!" The middle aged woman chirped, making Hyde gulp in nervousness as she walked in. The battle of yes and no continue to wage on each of his shoulders, and he was about to lose his mind. "What are you up to?" He chuckled nervously and shrugged his shoulders. "Are you going to the dance tomorrow? It sounds like fun!"

"Uh... I don't think so," Hyde murmured, hands now stuffed in his pockets.

"Well, why not?" Hyde sighed at her question knowing what would happen if he spoke of the conversation he just had with Red.

"I hate disco, and I don't have the money." Kitty scoffed and place her hands on her hips as he flatly mumbled his answer, his eyes lowered. Well, that was true, as well.

"You know what I think?" Kitty asked, Hyde didn't know what to say, so he just shrugged his shoulders again. "I don't think you know how to dance." Hyde just stared down at the woman, yeah she was right, but he wasn't going to tell her that.

"Why does everyone think that?" Hyde asked her she only chuckled. "I can dance," He didn't understand why his statement made her laugh, but there she was, giggling. Why did it matter if he could dance or not. He wasn't going to dance or wiggle any other time. He wasn't going to have a girl who wanted to dance and be given nice things, he didn't even plan on having a girl very long. And if he did, the only thing he'd be buying her was birth control. And she'd be wiggling in front of him, in a very, very safe environment.

* * *

"All right then, Steven, show me some moves." Mrs. Forman expected him to give a lousy attempt at dancing right here and now? Was she crazy? He tried to figure out if she would start laughing and tell him that she was only joking. But her silence and straight face told him she was dead serious, and she wouldn't leave or do anything else until she did as she asked. Which was never going to happen.

"Fine," he admitted, "I can't dance, but I'm not-"

"I'd love to teach you!" Kitty squealed, interrupting him. She knew that Hyde was going to say he didn't want to learn, he knew that. Which was exactly why she yelled like she did.

"Mrs. Forman, I don't really-"

"It's okay, it won't take that long, I promise!"

How could he tell her that he didn't want to learn, and didn't want to go? Mrs. Forman was persistent and always got her way, he knew that. And she'd find a way to guilt him into this if he tried to decline anymore, so he'd rather go down without feeling like shit about himself.

"Fine..." He grumbled hesitantly, she giggled and dragged Hyde into the living room. The better he cooperated, the sooner he'd get out of this.

"And after this... we can have some cocoa!" Kitty sang, and smiled happily at the faint smirk on the boy's face. He couldn't help it, he loved cocoa.

"All right, Steven, we'll start off with some basic steps, watch me a couple times, and you should get the hang of this." Hyde just stared at Mrs. Forman, his mind spacing off, and not comprehending the footwork, twists and turns that she skillfully stepped to. AS long as she did all of the dancing and he did the silent observations, then things would go smoothly. But things weren't going to be that simple. As he watched Kitty's dancing progressively grow faster and more complicated, he wondered how she expected him to do that. It was absolutely crazy... or so he thought.

"Okay, your turn Steven!" She chirped, he just looked at her with a blank face, but inside he felt really confused. He should have been thinking about how to place his feet instead of taking a hit... or as many as it would take for him to get baked.

"Uh... Mrs. Forman, I really can't-"  
"Sure you can, you just don't want to! It'll be fun, I promise!" He sighed softly and stood up from the green couch. It would only be fun for her, for him, this would be hell.

And hell it was. As soon as Kitty turned on the music, he was lost. As he watched her wiggle around an dance, Hyde realized Hyde was expected to do that, to a beat. Yeah, he knew rhythm; guitars had rhythm, singing had rhythm, but his feet however, did nt. He didn't even move, in fear of embarrassing himself, yet the problem with dancing was you were always moving. Hyde wondered what he had done to be put in this kind of torture.

After several half attempts of this wiggling business, Hyde let out a frustrated sigh and just stepped. This was so much harder than he thought, especially when he watched Mrs. Forman do this with ease.

"Mrs. Forman," Hyde whined, "I can't do this, I can't keep up with the music" How could something so stupid and girly kick his ass? He had great hand/eye coordination, and wasn't really clumsy. So why couldn't he do a stupid dance?

"Now, let's not get discouraged! I'm just going to turn the music off!" Kitty reassured him, Hyde sighed softly and stuffed his hands in his pockets... like that was going to help. He couldn't do anything right. "Now, you follow me, okay? You can do this!" She encouraged him, placing his hands on her waist and shoulder, and vice versa. "Okay... left, right, left, turn... and step!" Oh, he stepped all right... on her foot. He glanced down, worried that he hurt her.

"Ooh! No, no, no! Look at me, not at your feet." But was she okay? "Okay... you know what? Put your arm around me." He placed the hand that was on her shoulder on her back. "a little bit lower, put your hand in the small of my back." Hyde did as he was told. "You feel how you can guide me?" Hyde didn't know what to say.

"Uh... yeah..." He trailed off, earning a smile from Mrs. Forman.

"Okay, okay! Left ri- you're leading!" She praised, "Now, tell me where to move with your hand." He didn't really get the concept, didn't understand that just by simply turning his body with his hand, he could lead her, but... he it worked. "Left, right left, turn..." she trailed off, he followed along with her words, and could see the continuous growing smile on her face. "Okay, eye contact in the turn, good! And... dip!" Wait, dip? His eyes widened in shock as she fell, because of him. Hyde bit his lip and offered a hand to help her up.

"Okay!" Kitty said, a bit flustered, "Let's just do it again!"

"Sorry," he mumbled, earning a tight hug from the woman.

"You did great, nothing to apologize about!" He smiled weakly as she smiled up at him. "Now, let's try it with the music."

After awhile, he found himself almost enjoying the dancing. He had no clue what most of the dances were, but in a weird way they were cool. He did know if anyone found out he had to have dance lessons, he'd be livid. And if anyone found out that he liked to dance... well it wouldn't be as bad as dance lessons, but he'd still be pissed. Dancing with Kitty was fun, it was like a special bonding moment with her, one that he hadn't had in awhile. And it was Kitty, if he goofed up, which he did a lot, she wouldn't care; though he felt bad about stepping on her feet. And not knowing she wanted to be dipped, which had caused her to fall. But it was safe to say that now he got it all, and he was almost having fun... he wouldn't admit that he was fully having fun.

"Let's just try to perfect your dip, and then we'll be done!" Kitty decided, slightly out of breath from the hour of dancing. He grinned, thinking 'Thank God,' and approached her, then placed his hands on her waist and back. The music was off now, just because the were doing one last move and it would be pointless to have music. His steps were perfect, his feet never stepped on hers, and no, he wasn't staring at his feet. That stopped twenty minutes ago. Finally, he did go to dip her, slowly, and cautiously.

"Oh! Put your hand there, oh, that is perfect!" Both were unaware of Bob standing horrified in the doorway with a borrowed thermos. "You are better than Red!" With a smirk, Hyde straightened up, with Mrs. Forman in his arms, she didn't fall! He was proud of that. He let go and she just stared at him with a look he'd never received from his mom... one that made him feel wanted.

"You were wonderful, Steven," Hyde smiled and she kissed his cheek as they walked in the kitchen. "I am exhausted, that's sweaty work!"

"Mrs. Forman..." Hyde began nervously as she handed him a Cola. "I'd appreciate it if maybe we didn't tell anybody what we were doing here..." He was embarrassed of his friends finding out.

"Oh, mum is the word! And tomorrow after school, okay?" She asked, he grinned, hugging her once more.

"Thanks."

"And Steven?" He turned to her, "You were good!" Hyde just laughed and kissed her forehead, waving as he walked out of the sliding glass door, to the basement.

As he made his way down the cement steps, into the basement, he slipped his sunglasses back on and took a deep breath before opening the door. He was greeted with Eric, Kelso, and Fez who sat around the round table, staring boredly at it. As soon as he shut the door, they turned and grinned.

"Finally!" The three cried, holding up the incense, "we've been waiting forever!" Hyde smirked and Eric held up the paper bag, Hyde grabbed it from him, and began his master work. First, he rolled a joint, Kelso's preference, and handed the stick to the man beside him, who grinned, lighting it instantly. Then he began his work on the pipe, stuffing the grounds into it, packing it; his preference. As soon as he lit up, he felt calm, and no, he wasn't high. Just being back into the normal groove of things was enough to make him feel relaxed. He watched as the other three passed around the joint, he could tell they were waiting for the pipe... but he'd have it for awhile, they'd just have to wait.

"Okay... I thought about it. And I'm going to the disco, just on the off chance that they might mix up a little rock 'n roll, man." His friends all grinned, looking happy that the whole gang was going.

"Yeah? Well I have something to say! I went to the mall today, and I bought a... pair of new shoes!" He paused, coughing, "and they're the-" he began to laugh, "coolest kicks in the cave!" As soon as he finished, he doubled over in hysterical laughter. Eric sighed softly and took the joint from the giggling teen, and lit the end with his lighter, breathing in deeply.

"So... no more for Kelso, he's toasted!" Hyde chuckled, feeling like soon he'd be as well.

"I would like some toast if you are making some... or food of any kind would be good. I am starving!" Hyde chuckled at Fez and handed him the pipe, which made the barely older of the two grin happily as he lit the grass.

"Oh, I read somewhere that here are these people in India who fast, man! Yeah, and their minds are so advanced, they could actually think themselves to death, man!" Kelso stared at him in awe, and slight worry.

"Whoa... I hope I'm not doing that right now," paranoia was kicking in, "My mind is always doing things that I don't know about!" He glanced around in fear, which made Hyde burst out laughing.

"Man! We always think of so many brilliant things down here, but then later I can't remember any of them, I mean, they're brilliant, man!" Hyde nodded and grinned at his friend, who was nearing the same high as Kelso.

"Someone go make toast right now!" Fez cried.

"Hey, we should record our conversation, man! Yeah! Then we could play it back and write it down! I'll be that's how the writers at National Lampoon do it!"

"Yeah, well, I read somewhere that there's these people in France!" Hyde turned to Kelso, intrigued.

"Yeah? What do they do?" Hyde asked, wanting to learn something.

"You see... they're incredibly French!" Hyde grimaced in disappointment, then suddenly he was laughing once more. How was that funny?

"See? That's brilliant, man!" Eric cried, "I'm getting the tape recorder!" Hyde watched as Eric began to run up the stairs, and Fez throws a magazine at him.

"Where's my toast, you idiots?" Hyde grabbed the pipe from Kelso, who had it in his mouth, and breathed in the hit that Kelso half took. The older of the two glared at Hyde, who was grinning.

"No more for you!" Hyde snapped, grinning. Kelso smiled at his friend, then slowly, Hyde handed him the pipe. The two began to laugh hysterically at each other, confused on why they were laughing, but they just couldn't stop. "You know what's a good movie?"

"Planet of the Apes!" Kelso cried, "those apes are amazing!" Hyde nodded, knowing that they were people when he was sober but when he was high, that wasn't the case.

"No, but yeah... wait... what?" Hyde asked, then the two erupted in laughter again, Fez just stared at the two in bewilderment, then took the pipe away from them. "Hey!"

"Tell us what movie's good, or I'll break it!" Hyde's eyes bulged with worry and he suddenly reached out for the pipe. Fez raised it above his head, and Hyde huffed, then stared at the table.

"Oh yeah! Monty Python, great movie." The three began to laugh, knowing that indeed, it was a great movie.

"What is your name?" Kelso asked, quoting the movie, looking at Fez.

"What is your quest?" Hyde interrupted Fez, who looked rather relieved when knowing he didn't have to say his name.

"TO SEEK THE HOLY GRAIL!" The three glanced up, eyes wide, wondering where the voice came from. Hyde cheered when seeing Eric running down the stairs, a plate full of toast, and the tape recorder. "Now, what is the airspeed of an unladen swallow?" The three glanced around, confused.

"An African swallow? Or a European?" Hyde asked.

"I like when they throw the cattle," Fez chirped, "I like cattle, and seeing them fly... oh it's awesome!" Hyde chuckled.

"You know... we're just like cattle..." Hyde began, on a serious note, not noticing that Eric had set the tape recorder and was recording their conversation.

"How?" Eric asked.

"We're all on a farm... a farm put here by aliens man! And we're the cattle!" Kelso began to laugh.

"We're cattle! Moo!" Hyde grabbed a piece of toast, cracked it in half, and threw a half at Kelso, then he bit down on the bigger half.

"The government knows it... it's out there, man!" Fez, Eric, and Kelso turned to him, confused.

"What is?" Kelso asked, nibbling on the toast.

"The truth."

"What are you saying?" Kelso asked him again.

"Out there is the truth!" Hyde cried, "The truth... is out there, man!" and then he started laughing.

"That's seriously freaky!" Eric mumbled, handing a piece of toast to Fez, who greedily nibbled on it, then turned away from them all. "What's wrong, Fez?"

"I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper. I fart in your general direction. Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!" Hyde, Eric, Fez, and Kelso all silently glanced at each other, with blank expressions. Then at once, they burst out laughing.

* * *

Hyde couldn't believe how stupid his friends were being. First it was the damn disco, and now they were taking their damn precious time getting ready for the damn disco. Okay, the idea of dancing didn't seem so bad to him, yet he was giving money to promote a music genre that only turned people into peppy, dancing freak zombies. And he'd be forced to listen to the crappy music; if he spoke out about how awful it was, he'd be mauled by glittering shirted people wearing metallic butt huggers. And maybe guys wearing makeup. Neither of those were on his to do list, so he'd just grit his teeth and bear it.

He tapped his foot in boredom as he stared at the blank television screen. There was no guessing on how long his friends would be, after all, Jackie and Kelso were going, and they thought they actually looked good. So once again, he was alone in the basement, bored out of his mind... but he didn't really mind the solitude.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Eric's guitar. Boredom struck him and like he did at his house, walked over to the wooden acoustic guitar. He didn't really care if people overheard him playing, it was the only thing Hyde was proud of, and also the only thing he wanted people to hear of his. Picking up the light weight instrument, he headed back over to his chair. As he plucked the strings, he grimaced at the pitch and feeling of the strings. They felt too thick, and it wasn't tuned at all; he wondered when the last time Eric played his guitar. He knew that Forman wanted to be a jazz guitarist when he was younger, but that phase was now long over. So did Forman still play?

Hyde pressed the tip of his thumb and index finger together to act as a guitar pick as he strummed random chords. He didn't really want to play a song, in case someone came down and heard him, though like he said before, he didn't care if they did. It would just be weird. But his ears did perk as he recognized he hadn't heard or played in quite some time. It took him awhile to think of the name, but finally the sad Simon and Garfunkel song ran off the tip of his tongue.

"Hello darkness, my old friend..." As he oh so quietly sang the lyrics to "The Sound of Silence" he now felt at ease about playing, because it sounded pretty decent. It wasn't like Kelso's weird songs he sang and played over and over again. He didn't really have anything to be worried about either, it's not like he was at home and his mom would come rushing in trying to break his guitar.

As he continued playing, Hyde didn't notice the quiet footsteps on the stairs. After he started to play, he always got lost in the music, no matter what he played. It was almost as freeing as getting high, sometimes he even felt better when played rather than smoked.

"Fools" said I, "You do not know, silence like a cancer grows. Hear my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach to you." But my words like silent raindrops fell, and echoed in the wells of silence..." Hyde sang, then stopped playing that, turning to a minuet of his own.

"Is that yours?" Hyde jumped, startled when hearing someone speak. He glanced in front of him and saw Jackie standing near the couch. He had to admit it, she did look pretty hot in that dress, but God he couldn't stand that spoiled bitch.

"What?" he asked gruffly, setting down the guitar.

"Those songs... did you make them?" Jackie repeated her question, folding her arms across her chest.

"Why do you care?" he asked her, resting his hands on his thighs as he leaned back on the couch. "Shouldn't you be getting ready?"

"No, I came down here to get you, we've been outside waiting for you-" Hyde rolled his eyes and stood up, not believing this. He told them all to go down in the basement when they were done, not just ditch him.

"Whatever," he growled, walking up the stairs, followed by Jackie.

"Hyde, did you make up that song?"

"The last one, yeah," he mumbled in annoyance, the little parasite trailing behind him.

"I liked the words to the other one, but the last one was really pretty."

"It wasn't pretty and thank Paul Simon," Hyde grumbled, pushing open the sliding glass door, holding it open for Jackie, who smiled timidly at Hyde and ran out.  
Hyde walked sluggishly out of the house, regretting this decision immediately. He didn't want to go to the disco, he just wanted to sit back He sighed heavily when he saw Midge and Mrs. Forman both happily taking pictures, and knew he'd have no way out of this. He walked out and was instantly shoved by the Vista Cruiser, next to Eric.

"Steven, get closer! Now let's all schmoosh together! Okay, big smiles!" Hyde glared at Forman and plastered a small smirk on his face, knowing that all of them were beyond annoyed with all of this picture taking. As soon as she got the picture, he stepped away, closer to her. Before he got in the car, he wanted to thank her.

"Hey, mom!" Eric called, "Why don't I get a picture of you?" Kitty blushed and looked down, shaking her head.

"No, no, no, you'll be late! Bye, now!" Hyde glanced at her and outstretched his arms for a hug, Mrs. Forman grinned at him.

"Thanks Mrs. Forman, you're the best," he mumbled, kissing her on the cheek.

"Go get 'em, tiger!" She chirped, he smiled and waved, then hopped in the backseat, glaring at Jackie and Kelso who were sitting next to him, making out. He threw his head back and sighed heavily, closing his eyes. Could this get any worse?

* * *

Hyde sat at the table with a small glass of punch, staring through his sunglasses at the dancer. How could all of these people willingly listen tot his crap? They were all smiling, happily wiggling around, especially Jackie and Fez. Which Hyde had found funny, because it pissed Kelso off.

As soon as he stepped into the car, Hyde regretted going in the first place. The two lovebirds, Kelso and Jackie, had been going at it right next to him, and Eric and Donna were doing their silent flirting that was unintentionally obvious. He had been alone with Fez the entire way up, and the though the newest member of the gang complained about his pervy needs, Hyde knew that they both had one thing in common; they were alone. But Hyde didn't pay attention to it, it didn't bother him, or at least he wouldn't let it bother him. Women were evil, they were beautiful but could trap you in an eternal hell. Which is why Hyde would only taste and sample, not purchase the whole deal.

But now he was at the table, appearing bored and cool, yet a war was going on within him. Every thought and every heartbeat of his pounded in to his brain, only scaring him even more. His heart was fighting his mind on an act that could very well change his relationship with both Donna and Eric. He wanted to ask her to dance. His heart told him to go with it, because honesty, when would his next chance be? Never. Yet his head told him not to do this, the act would only make him fall for her even more. Hyde knew she wanted Eric, and not him, yet he wanted to hold her romantically at least once. He wanted to see if he actually had a chance.

"I would love to dance that way!" Donna piped up wistfully, staring at Jackie and Fez dancing perfectly.

"You wanna dance?" Hyde slipped; he hadn't actually meant to say it.

"Sure!" Donna chirped enthusiastically. Hyde smiled at her answer and set his sunglasses on the table, she smiled and took his hand. The only reason he learned to dance and came here at all was for her, to continue showing her a different side of him.

Hyde placed on hand on her waist, the other still held her hand. He held her securely and close to him, which she didn't seem to mind. Remembering eye contact wasn't hard at all, he didn't look anywhere else except her brown eyes.

"You dance, this is a side of you I've never seen." Hyde chuckled and smiled softly at her, biting his lip where past scars of his nervousness still damaged his mouth. turning the two of them slowly.

"Yeah," he mumbled softly, "actually, you're my first dance." She laughed softly and blushed, brown eyes glittering.

"I'm your first? I'm honored." They were both silent as they continued to dance to Abba, who he hated. He sighed happily and stared into her eyes, and she looked back.

"This is nice," he barely whispered, she nodded.

"Mhmm..." Donna trailed off, Hyde turned once more and she smiled as he dipped her gracefully.

"Donna, I feel like I wanna kiss you." he mumbled, still holding her down. They continue to gaze at each other in the eye as he slowly brings her up. "You don't have to kiss me back, if you don't want." Then the weirdest thing happened; Donna laughed. "I'm not kidding." That laugh was it, that laugh told him to back off, and in the weirdest way, it hurt him so much.

"Shut up and dance," she finally spoke. Hyde sighed and smirked weakly as they continued to dance.

"As you wish," and they acted just like nothing happened.

After the song ended, he kept direct eye contact as he softly kissed her hand. She laughed quietly and wrapped her arm around him as they walked back to the table.

"Thanks for the dance, Hyde, you were really good." Donna muttered, Hyde smirked once more, pulling out her chair for her.

"Cool," he replied, sitting in his spot next to her. He felt Eric's fiery glare on him, yet he tried not to notice it as he took a gulp from his punch.

"I'm gonna have a smoke, I'll be back in a few." he declared, standing up out of his chair. Yet he had something else in mind.

Hoping no one would follow him, Hyde left the disco without looking back. Since he was in Kenosha, he was going to make use of this situation. Walking down the cement stairs, he spotted a pay phone right next to the building and smirked. Digging in his pocket, he pulled out two dimes and approached the public phone, thankfully he had the number memorized.

Picking up the phone, he put the two coins in the slot and began pressing the eleven digit number and sighed heavily. a light, cool breeze chilled him slightly, yet it felt so much better than being in the crowded club. As the phone rang, he tapped his foot anxiously and glanced around for any other people. Besides a few group of people or couples hanging out or making out in the parking lot, there was no one.

"Hello?" a gravelly teen voice on the other end asked.

"Hey, it's SJ," Hyde mumbled, the people in the drug business weren't allowed to call him by full name, first or last. And he didn't want a stupid nickname like "Death Ray" or "Maggot" like he had heard other people use.

"Ohh..." he sounded stoned already. "Hey man, how's it goin'? What's the buzz?"

"Don't tell me you're watching Jesus Christ Superstar again, Manning," Hyde grumbled in the phone. Whenever his dealer, Manning, tripped, he always watched that musical since it came out, he didn't understand the 19 year old. "Listen, meet me at Parker Street, the usual spot."

"Oh dude, you're in Kenosha? Sweet!" Hyde sighed softly and pinched the bridge of his nose, something he did whenever he was extremely annoyed.

"Meet me in five minutes." Hyde mumbled quietly, then hung up the phone.

Checking to make sure no one was watching, Hyde took off down the street. The night was dark, the street lights only gave a dim glow as he briskly walked down the sidewalk, head bowed. he had to hurry because he didn't want anyone to notice his long absence. Or in case the disco ended and they left without him, which could very well happen. If they did that, he'd be really pissed because part of the deal was all for them. He wouldn't share the harder stuff, but the pot he got from Manning was some of the best he'd ever had... it was so much better than what Edna smoked.

Hyde stopped at the intersection waiting for the number of cars to decrease enough that he could cross the street without being a target for pissed off drivers looking to relieve some stress. Finally the traffic slowed, or at least they had a very short red light, enough that he could zip to the other side.

Once he reached the other side, he headed down two blocks down the dark street, unafraid of the blackness that surrounded him. He and Manning usually met between two vacant lots, in the alleyway between. The place was well known to a few pushers, as well as horny kids who end up trying drugs the dealers were selling. Usually everything he bought was dirt cheap; about $35- $15 for the pot, $20 for the acid.

Hyde sighed softly, tapping his foot impatiently for Manning. He wanted to get out of here as quick as he could, but the 19 year old was always late, for anything. He really didn't want them to leave without him. As he waited quietly, his frustration levels grew, he couldn't stand waiting, especially for drugs. Also, the fact that all of his friends were here.

'It's their fault,' Hyde thought with a deepening grimace. If they hadn't wanted to go to that disco, they'd be at home enjoying a circle. He wouldn't be trying to quickly mend a fractured heart, and he wouldn't have learned how to dance. By the time his thought processes combined everything., he realized how not pissed off he was, but how lifeless he felt, and nothing pissed him off any more than that. Or so he thought.

"Hey SJ, got the cash?" Manning whispered harshly, Hyde nodded, holding out the $35. As the older teen beamed while counting the money, Hyde noticed something odd.

"Man, where's the stuff?" He whispered, then softly groaned in defeat as Manning racked his brain, trying to figure out where the drugs were.

"Oh! They're on the table, I'll be-" Hyde quickly snatched the money from the clueless, doped up Manning, and growled as he shook his head dejectedly.

"Fuck this," Hyde grumbled, "I'll get it later, man." Hyde dragged himself out of the dark alley, onto the sidewalk, a cloud of fury almost choking him.

Hyde loved how when he didn't think things could get any worse, they always did. As the nearly 16 year old stomped down the street, back to the disco, he scoffed angrily. He had thought the disco would be the death of him.

"God damn the pusher man," Hyde growled, stalking off broodily into the night.


	39. Life Starts Now

_**Author's Note: I meant to have this up a long time ago, but after having strep, a tornado wrecking my town, having no internet or computer, and tons of schoolwork, I think my absence is well reasoned. I'm at my dad's right now (oh joy *sarcastic*) and I have a little time to update, so yay! I hope you enjoy this chapter, I do, but I don't at the same time. Sorry if it's short or boring. **_

_**PS: If you've noticed, I have shorter scenes like in the show now, rather than longer complete chapters. It'll be like that more often now, but there will be some like the old way too :)**_

_**PPS: Sorry that this chapter is shorter, this is also not one of my favorites, but it's important. Ish. The next chapter is tons better, and hopefully soon I'll be able to upload it. **_

_**So sorry for the long wait, I hope I can make it up to you :/ also I hope I didn't lose any fans, either. Please review; tell me what you think!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie.**_

_**

* * *

**_

_You say you feel so down every time I turn around. And you say you should've been gone by now, and you think that everything's wrong. You ask me how to carry on; we'll make it through another day. Just hold on. 'Cause life starts now, you've done all the things that could kill you somehow. And you're so far down but you will survive it somehow, because life starts now. I hate to see you fall down, I'll pick you up off the ground. I've watched the weight of your world come down and now it's your chance to move on. Change the way you've lived for so long and find the strength you've had inside all along. 'Cause life starts now, you've done all the things that could kill you somehow. And you're so far down, but you will survive it somehow. Because life starts now. All this pain; take this life and make it yours. All this hate; take your heart and let it love again. You will survive this somehow. 'Cause life starts now, you've done all the things that could kill you somehow. And you're so far down, but you will survive it somehow. Because life starts now…_

Hyde stared down at the open notebook in his lap, black pen in his mouth as he tried to think.

_'This is not good,' _he thought, sighing angrily as he jotted down random ramblings that came to his mind. It was already 7:20 in the morning, meaning Forman would be picking him up in about ten minutes. And if he didn't have this English paper done, then he'd be failing the class. And if he was already failing by the first three weeks of school, then there was no way he'd be passing his junior year.

He had spent the entire night trying to write a 2,000 word essay on one of the easiest topics they'd have this year, yet was so hard for him. It was about himself. And not only that, it was something personal. He didn't even know himself, didn't want to get to know himself, so how could he write something personal? He had to write an essay to a person, any person. Now, he had many feeble attempts, like the two worded paper addressed to his teacher and the entire world. But_ 'FUCK YOU!'_ wasn't going to get him an easy A. Hyde was stumped, yet he found it more odd that he was concerned about his grades. He didn't even have any textbooks, so why the hell was this so important?

With an agitated sigh, Hyde tossed his frayed notebook at the door, earning a thump and the fluttering of the pages. He grunted drowsily as stood up, peeling off his dark gray sweat pants as he did so. While tugging on a pair of corduroys, Hyde's stomach growled loudly, and he winced at the sharp hunger pang. Curling his lip in a scowl, he hurried to put on a thin long sleeved brown shirt. Quickly fingering through his hair, Hyde crammed his feet in his uncle's boots that were now much too small, given to him well over two years now.

Before Hyde left his dark room with clothes littering the floor, Hyde bent down and picked up his dreaded English notebook. Of course, he wouldn't open it, or even look at it until the class and even then there wouldn't be one pencil scratch or one drop of ink from his unused pen. But maybe he'd look more prepared if he took it with him.

"STEVEN!" Edna cried from her bedroom, a loud thump was heard and he forced back cold laughter... she was well hung over from the previous night. Hyde watched with stinging eyes as the 35 year old woman stumbled from her room, appearing disheveled and ghastly.

"Yeah?" he croaked, voice hoarse from lack of sleep and the beginning stages of dehydration.

"My boyfriend is coming over, so stay out." Hyde sighed softly and retreated back to his room, grabbing an extra pair of clothes, like he usually did when he was unwelcome in his home... which happened a lot more recently. Once the Forman's were all asleep, usually by 11:00 at the latest, Hyde would sneak back into the basement and sleep on the yellow, falling apart couch. And if that failed, he'd pass out at the park by his house, or just wander the streets until he was due back at his house to be picked up.

Hyde made his way back intot he living room, stuffing the jeans and t-shirt in his back pack, along with his folders and crumpled assignments that had never been turned in. Swinging the messenger bag over his shoulder, Hyde slipped on his sunglasses and began to run outside.

"You hear me, boy?" Edna shrieked to him as the door slammed shut. Hyde chose to ignore her as he watched Eric's boat of a car drive down the block ahead. Hopefully he was far away before she fired back. It was usually a 50/50 chance; either he'd be long gone, or just as he was about to leave, she'd scream. "STEVEN JAMES ANSWER ME!" Hyde groaned in annoyance as he tilted his head back. He heard his friends laughing at his mom belting out his full name, and he scowled.

"I heard you, you bitch! Now go fuck yourself!" Hyde shouted through the screen door. He could tell his friends were silently debating on whether to burst into hysterics or walk on eggshells about Hyde's retort to his mom; they chose the former.

As the four in the car cackled, Hyde skulked to the Vista Cruiser, his lips curled downard in a snarl as he approached the noisy car. Kelso pointed and laughed at him as he took his spot in the passenger seat, next to Donna who wore a small smile.

"Good morning, Steven James!" Kelso sang loudly, then cracked up, along with Fez.

"Wait..." Fez began, as his laughter died down, "Who is Steven James?" The sixteen yaer old asked, the others all pointed to Hyde, who grimaced further. "No, that is Hyde!" He chuckled a bit and closed his eyes, relaxing as his friends conversed.

"No, Hyde is Hyde's last name, his first name is Steven," Eric informed Fez, who had his nose wrinkled in confusion. "He just doesn't want to be called Steven. It's like Kelso, we call him Kelso, but his name is Michael."

"Oh..." Fez trailed off, connecting all of this new information on his first friend together.

"Speaking of Steven James..." Donna started, poking Hyde's arm, who grunted sleepily, pulling himself closer to the door. He knew what she was doing. "Guess what today is?" She cried in a sing-song voice, Hyde's stomach dropped, but instead of showing his annoyance, he showed his exhaustion as he rested his head on the window.

"The 18th!" Fez chirped proudly.

"Sure is!" Eric exclaimed too chipperly. "Which is also-"

"Hyde's birthday!" The older three, who knew his birthday, cried excitedly.

"Ooh how exciting!" Fez piped up, "How old are you today, Hyde?" He only shrugged, eyes staring vacantly out of the window, his friends not noticing his state of sleep deprivation, or the apathy.

"It's your sweet 16, Hyde-y!" Donna squealed, wrapping her arms around him tightly. Hyde didn't know what she was doing, until she began tickling him to try to get him to smile. the two began to wrestle against each other as she continued to tickle him, he tried to wriggle away from her as he laughed.

"Haaaaappy birthday to you! Happy birthday to yooouuu! Happy brithday dear Hyyyyyde-"

"If you finish, I'll kick all your asses," Hyde grumbled with a smirk.

"Happy birthday to you!" The four quickly sang off key. Hyde just shook his head and turned back to the window as they applauded themselves.

"Have a cupcake!" Kelso thrust a small Hostess cupcake in Hyde's face, he glanced back at him momentarily, gave a quick nod, and began to pick off the frosting.

"So, what did you guys write for your papers?" Donna asked, Hyde mentally face palmed himself; of course Donna would mention homework. He didn't understand why girls liked to do that.

"I wrote mine to Jackie," Kelso answered, Fez's face lit up.

"Really? Me too!" That earned Fez a frog from Kelso, and the three up front to laugh quietly at the scene in the back.

"Mine is to my parents," Eric mumbled, Hyde quietly scoffed and rolled his eyes. That went either two ways; Forman wrote about Cleaverville and how amazing his perfect life was, or how unjustly pissed off at his parents he was. "What did you write about, Donna?" Eric asked, the girl just shrugged her shoulders.

"Val and Tina," Hyde shrugged and thought, besides Fez, that was the best answer, and not just because it was Donna, either. It would actually make some sort of point, rather than complaining and whining over nothing, or confessing undying lust. "Hyde, what's yours about?" He scoffed and shrugged his shoulders, eyes staring vacantly out the window.

"Didn't do it," he mumbled, disappointed and frustrated sighs filled the air, why did it matter to them whether or not he did his homework. "But maybe she'll let me off easy, you know, 'cause it's my birthday," he mocked as Eric parked his car right next to the tormenting T-bird.

"Hyde-" Donna started, but he just shook his head, blowing off his friends as he stalked up the steps to the school, completely ignoring their calls.

"But Steven James, what about your birthday spankings?" Kelso cried, Hyde lifted his right hand as he ran up the cement stairs, four fingers down.

* * *

Hyde hit the back of his head on the cement wall five hours later, groaning in annoyance and frustration. He had camped out all day in the boiler room, next to the gym, trying to come up with idea for his latest assignment. His English class was his 7th hour class, the only calls the entire gang, minus Jackie, had together. After four hours of critical and witty thinking, Hyde had come up with a five hundred worded list on why he thought the assignment was a bunch of bull shit, and he wouldn't turn it in, anyway. If he read it out loud, he'd get a worse grade than not turning in at all, so what was the point. What pissed him off was that the high school teachers still hadn't learned to leave him be, unlike the middle school and grammar school teachers. So every once in awhile, he was called on, only to disappoint teachers with an "I don't know", or piss them off with an, "I don't know, nor do I give a rat's ass."

Hyde rubbed his forehead as he sat, curled in the small boiler room, he had given himself a headache. After the bell rang for 7th hour, he'd make his first appearance of the day; his friends were used to the constant absences in the first half of the day, but it was never an attempt to catch up on homework. But this time was important, he couldn't be failing just yet.

As the now sixteen year old stood up, his stomach growled angrily and he slumped his shoulders as he walked into the bright gym. He tried to avoid the cheerleaders practicing their weird moves, and also because of a certain raven-haired bitch. Of course when she was at school, she didn't associate with them very often, thank God.

He already had his notebook and bag with him, so he just slinked through the hallway to his English class. He didn't want his friends to think he was mad at him, he wasn't mad at all, just frustrated in himself. Which he didn't understand, because he didn't care about his grades. They just made people feel bad about themselves, grades were just a way for the government to control what kids learned about, the "proper" things. Grades were pointless, they didn't tell shit about a person's intelligence; Hyde was really smart, yet he was almost failing in most of his classes.

Biting on his lip, Hyde blended in with the mob of juniors entering the chilly classroom. He wasn't one for mixing in the crowd, yet at school he just wanted to stay as invisible as possible. It was hard for him to do that, though, in the first week, Hyde had bee suspended for mouthing off. he definitely didn't have a problem with speaking up, and speaking his mind, yet other than that he was practically transparent. Hyde took his normal seat in the back of the class, in the corner, and sighed softly, eyes stinging from exhaustion. HE should have slept rather than attempted to write. As he collapsed in the desk chair, Hyde rested his head on his binder and stared forward, eyes glazed from his lack of sleep.

Once the final bell rang, the small groups of his classmates clustered throughout the room, the teacher not in sight. He growled at the sudden burst of voices that filled the room, and shifted his eyes down to his hands that were placed on his desk. He noticed that the passed down ring felt tight on his right finger, his hands had grown since he first wore it. Tugging the ring off, Hyde slipped it onto his pinky finger, where it fit perfectly.

The door that was less than ten feet from Hyde slammed shut loudly, as Ms. Carlson silently walked into the room. He followed her out of the corner of his eyes while she made her way to her desk completely unnoticed by the rest of the class. Though she was quite small and friendly, she always could get he class's attention, and Hyde always thought seeing such a tiny, quiet woman being so loud absolutely hilarious.

"Everybody sit down and quiet down!" She barked, standing at the front of the room, her voice booming over even the loudest of conversations. At once everyone was silent, even crickets stopped chirping. "Thank you!" She chirped happily as she glanced around the room with a sweet smile on her face. Hyde chuckled at her sudden change of voice and glanced down at his desk.

As soon as she began to talk, Hyde's attention on the class discussion was lost. He picked up his grey chunky eraser and stared at it with interest. Digging his jagged thumbnail into the eraser, the rubbery chunk began to bend apart. Once it was split in half, he held it in between his index finger and thumb, ready to throw at someone, yet he didn't know who to chuck it at. Fez was the closest person to him, but he didn't want the sensitive guy to get angry at him. Todd of "Destroy and Give Back" sat a couple rows ahead, he always pissed Hyde off. Pam Macy was always a target for him as well, no matter what he did; whether it was a bit of eraser or a spit ball. For some reason, he couldn't stand her; compared to all of the other chicks at school, that girl was almost like the devil. Like Laurie, not so evil, but nearly as whore-y.

"Michael, will you please read your essay aloud to us?" Hyde's attention on flicking the eraser was shattered as Kelso practically jumped out of his chair with excitement. The sudden loud commotion was enough to make Eric jump and the class to hum with quiet laugher. Hyde smirked as Kelso nearly lost his balance; he didn't understand how his friend could be so clumsy.

As Kelso neared the front of the classroom, Hyde took his pen and began carving in the wooden desk. The sound irritated him, but he was bored and the act of any form of vandalism would do.

"My paper was written to Jackie Burkhart-" groans of annoyance, cat calls and whistles, and chuckles erupted through the room. Hyde grimaced and lowered his head; not wanting to hear a letter to Jackie, or the mocking of his annoying classmates.

"Jackie, you're really hot, which is why I love you." after listening to the first half of the first sentence, he knew Kelso didn't love her. Yeah, he cared, but that was completely different; that chick pushed for emotions… but Kelso didn't know what love was. Besides, if Kelso loved her, he wouldn't cheat on her. He was so sick of romance; the ridiculous couples being love dovey, it repulsed him. He didn't need a girl to drag around on his arm, he liked his solitude. But what pissed him off even more was his friends shoving their blooming romances in his face. The only other group member who knew how it felt was Fez; so half the time Hyde hung out with Fez rather than in the basement.

Within two minutes, Kelso was back in his seat with a smug smile at the quiet applause. Hyde sighed softly and sunk low in his desk, his long legs stretched out in both aisles and his muddy boots stuck out in the walk way. He didn't really understand why he was attending this class, he never cared about his homework or his presence at school. The teachers rarely called on him, mostly because he talked back, or they just forgot about him.

It was the way Hyde kept things; he liked the lack of attention. He didn't mind people looking down on him and not caring; it was better than letting the world down because of their high expectations of him; like they had of Eric. If he got anything higher than a D minus or the quite familiar F, then everyone was happy. And no, he wasn't stupid, very far from that in fact; he knew more about some of the things taught at school than the teachers. He just didn't care about school, he didn't try at anything; he didn't understand the point.

Each person who stood up sounded exactly like the same; Hyde wasn't listening to the words, but the tone of voice. In each and every case of each student forced to read out loud, the same monotonous drawl picked and ran in his head like a guitar than hadn't been tuned in ages. Hyde didn't need to know what words they spoke, their lack of enthusiasm was enough to tell him how insignificant the essays were, and how none of them really cared.

'_God, I can't take this,' _Hyde thought, burying his head in his hands that rested palms down on the table, sleepy eyes stinging as they closed. _'How long is this fucking class?'_

"Steven?" Very slowly, he raised his head from his uncomfortable sleeping position and stared at the front of the room.

"Yes?" he mocked her tone.

"It's your turn to read your essay."

"Why should I have to read it, if I already have it written?" Quiet laughter rang throughout the classroom.

"Because it's part of the assignment. Did you do the assignment?" Hyde just blinked unresponsively.

"Shocker," he began sarcastically, "yes, I did, I just don't see why I have to read a paper out loud that no one is going to even listen to." Hyde answered, Ms. Carlson pursed her lips as she gazed at the rebel.

"To show that you did it, and to help gain confidence in public speaking, Steven," Hyde scowled and stood up slowly, everyone watching him as he walked up the column of desks, and to the door.

"Where are you going?" she asked, eyes like daggers upon him.

"Office, I'll find a way to get suspended." Hyde replied carelessly, she sighed and crossed her arms over her stomach. Feeling the eyes of every classmate upon him, trying to figure out if he was kidding, he tossed placed his two paged essay on her lectern. "There's my fucking paper, not that it even matters," he called before he slammed the door.

* * *

Hyde sat on the patio chair next to Donna, both of them stretched out in her backyard. The two had been talking since they left Forman's, and honestly he felt that he needed it. They weren't talking about anything important, he just needed someone in his presnece.

"So you really did get suspended?" Donna piped, taking a sip of water from her glass. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and nodded. "What did you end up doing?"

"I told Mr. Jefferson to suck my dick in the hall because he yelled at me for being out of class." Donna covered her mouth to try to suppress her laughter. "So he sent me to the office and I got suspended."

"At the end of class she did read your essay," Hyde glanced up at Donna, silently asking her to continue speaking. "It was good," he scoffed and grimaced, turning away from Donna. It didn't matter if his paper was _good_, he still wouldn't get a _good _grade on it; she'd bomb him for his outburst. But honestly he didn't care; grades didn't mean a God damn thing in real life.

"Good to know." Hyde mumbled, fingers fidgeting with the cuff of his long sleeved shirt.

"How long are you suspended for?" Donna asked him, Hyde shrugged his shoulders once more.

"A week, unfortunately," he responded, upset that they hadn't given him two weeks. Then again, his response to his PE teacher had been nothing compared to Kelso and him streaking at the homecoming football game. Donna rolled her eye and a trace of a smile momentarily twitched at his lips.

"Hyde, I'm scared…" Donna mumbled suddenly, which brought concern in his heart. But of course he wouldn't show it; instead he just glanced up at her, his bare blue eyes staring at her in confusion. "I mean, it seems like yesterday we were talking about going into junior high and now we're juniors. Now tomorrow will I wake up and be 25?"

Hyde saw her point, and realized a lot had happened in a few short years, which had made the time fly. He didn't miss being younger, he was excited to get the hell out of Point Place in two years. But everything did seem to go by fast; but the pot could also be a factor.

"No, you'll just wake up and be a day closer to 25," Hyde answered, making Donna chuckle weakly. "Man, just go with it, yeah life is passing you by bt live it so you've got something to remember." At that, Donna beamed at him, and without a warning, wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He stiffened at her contact, and hesitantly patted her shoulder; though he had feelings for her, he wasn't one for close, affectionate contact.

"Thank you, Hyde," Donna chirped, "I'll have to do that." Hyde shrugged his shoulders and relaxed as she let go of him, and he just looked at her, wondering why she sounded so shocked that he said that. They always had these deep conversations, and she never sounded so surprised as now. Sure she might think Kelso is saucier than him; _'lie'_, he thought with a grimace. But he wasn't nearly as stupid as the older teen, so he wondered why people treated him like he was dumber. Instead of questioning her, Hyde just placed his sunglasses over his eyes from where they were hanging on his shirt.

"So, Eric and I…"

* * *

Hyde stared at the watch on his right wrist a few hours later as he waited for just one more minute to pass. He yawned, beyond exhausted from the lack of sleep plus his long day. He curled his legs onto the Forman's couch in the basement and leaned his head back on the arm rest. His eyes lost their focus on the long hand inching closer and closer to the twelve and his eyelids fought to close; but he had to see this.

Hyde's stomach felt uneasy as he laid more comfortably on the couch. His parents told him he'd die before now, before he was sixteen. This wasn't planned, actually living this long shocked him. Twice already he should have died, yet here he was, still breathing; he was still here. It was a mystery to him why he was still alive, not that he wanted to change that. But he had no purpose among the sheeple, except to rant about the government and to piss people off. He was just a waste of both space and air.

His stinging eyes watched drowsily as the minute hand on his watch switched to 12:01, and he exhaled heavily. What did fate have in store for him now that the tables were turned? Hyde just scoffed and scoffed and closed his eyes, curling his legs to his stomach as he burrowed into the golden couch in the cool, pot-scented basement of the Forman's.

'_They were wrong,' _the sixteen year old thought to himself, head burrowed into his forearm. _'I made it.' _

_

* * *

_

_***Author's note: As unimportant as this chapter may seem, it's actually really important to this story. Through out the chapters, Hyde's death was predicted at 16, and now that this is his 16th**__** birthday… he didn't die. I know it wasn't my best work, and it's probably rather disappointing, but… I hope it's good enough for you. **_

_**Please be patient for the next chapter, I expect it to be up within the next couple of weeks, but if not, don't give up on this story. I promise I'll make it up to you. I'll even give you a hint of the chapter right now.**_

_**-The final Kitty vs. Edna stand-off**_

_**-Eric and Hyde 'brother' talk**_

_**-Jackie and Hyde get along =] (Even in the season two episodes it seems like he liked her. After "Prom Night" I'll begin to tie that in as well, so don't worry =]) **_

_**Hopefully that's enough to keep you reading :D**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie.**_


	40. What Are You Looking For

**_Author's Note:_**

**_This will be another original, with lots of awesome-ness, I promise. It takes place a few months ahead, early December, a little before The Best Christmas Ever, the show skips months a lot, and to get to the fun chapters in season one, I have to do the same, so I hope you don't mind. In this chapter there is not only Kitty vs. Edna, but there is also a Hyde and Eric brother to brother talk, and a little surprise at the end that I just had to add in because it's cute. Like I stated in the last author's note, I'm so sorry that it's taken this long to update, but all of the belated chapters are worth the wait. Next canon chapter is "The Best Christmas Ever." _**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie._**

* * *

_I walk the line of the disappointed; I celebrate when I'm in pain. My heart and mind can be disjointed; I built a bed in this hole I made. I recognize that I'm damaged and I sympathize that you are too. But I wanna breathe without feelin' so self-conscious, but it's hard when the world's starin' at you. Another piece of the puzzle, that doesn't fit. You throw your arms up, you're so damn sick of it. What are you working for? What are you searching for? Love. You won't be thinking of cars when you're on your death bed and dyin'. You'll only be thinkin' of what you were paying for, what you were praying for. Love. I'll never be what I see on the tv screen, I just keep dreaming of what I'm never gonna be. I can't think of a better way to waste my time then try…_

It had been a screwy day, to put it lightly. Hyde didn't understand how his peaceful Wednesday morning turned into an afternoon of complete hell and chaos. But leave it to Edna and she could make a simple event turn into a torturous and ceaseless task.

All Hyde had planned for the day was sleeping in until noon and walking to the DMV to get his license. It had gone according to plan until 9:30, when Edna pounded on his door and screamed at him to get up with obscenities as every other word. Hyde, drowsy and aggravated, was dragged to the car and driven to the DMV by his hung over mom; he had a feeling there was something else she wanted. After an hour of awkward and silent tension, he took his driver's test and much to his surprise, he passed. And now here he was; legally driving his drunk and high mother to the grocery store, which made Hyde apprehensive.

Something was up, that much was obvious. Edna wouldn't willingly take him to the DMV, and a trip to the grocery store was rare. She always dragged Hyde to the market because as soon as she stepped foot into the Piggly Wiggly, she high tailed it to the booze. That left Hyde to do the actual shopping. And when she made trips to the store, that meant she'd be gone for awhile, with some random guy. But the only males she lately saw were one-third night stands (three guys in one night), she couldn't have gotten to know any of them, emotionally that is, let alone feel close enough to take off with them. Then again, this was Edna he was thinking about. His mom, Point Place and Kenosha's main prostitute.

With a sigh and a slight tremble from the cold December air, Hyde glanced at his mom through his sunglasses and bit his lip.

"So why are we-"

"Just shut up and drive." Edna barked lowly, taking a draw from her cigarette. Hyde scowled and his foot harder on the gas pedal, his dismal mood brought out his lack of concern for his welfare. Hell, just about anything made him careless these days.

"Are you leaving again?" Hyde asked with a vacant voice and his eyes faced the road. He didn't know what would happen now that he asked. There were three options: either she'd lie, tell him the truth, or hit him. It was between the first and the third. A part of him didn't want to know the answer, he was just sick of her always leaving, it didn't hurt him at all, or at least he told himself that. He just wanted a constant. A constant bitch that screamed at him, a person who could constantly provide him a surplus of alcohol... a constant person in his life. No matter how much he hated Edna, or convinced himself he did, he knew deep down he needed her, and that ripped him up inside.

"Steven why do you always think I'm going to leave?"

"I don't know... ahh that's right, because you _do_, all the fucking time." He told himself it didn't bother him, that the only reason why he was pissed at her constant absence was that he always ended up with no rent money.

"Well I have every right to leave." Edna replied coolly, he tilted his head curiously and scoffed.

"And why is that?" he snapped, grip on the steering wheel tightening to the point his knuckles were white.

"I need the damn time away from your worthless ass," she hissed, acid words stinging his minimal pride. Hyde's throat tightened and he narrowed his eyes, abruptly and recklessly spinning in the grocery store parking lot.

"Sorry I make your life a living hell," Hyde mumbled flatly, slamming his foot furiously on the brakes as he whirled into the closest parking space.

"Steven, wait-" Before Edna could finish, Hyde practically knocked off the door with his angry slam. Without turning back, he shoved his hands in his pockets and took off away from the car, practically foaming at the mouth with rage. But then he stopped dead in his tracks, and laughed darkly as he realized he was actually walking _towards_ the store. Well, at least it was for him, that made it a little better. With a scoff and a shake of his head, he skulked to the entrance of the Piggly Wiggly, hoping he wouldn't have to be near Edna for awhile.

_'Eggs, milk, bread, what else does Mrs. Forman always talk to Red about?' _Hyde thought and grimaced at the thought of the Formans. He loved Mrs. Forman dearly, and Red was as close to a father as he could get, but the thought of their practically perfect family made him squeamish. Sure Laurie was a slut, Eric wasn't the football quarterback, Red was now working part time, but Mrs. Forman held them all together. Besides their differences, they actually had strong relationships between one another, even though they disagreed quite a bit. Hyde was envious of their closeness, and of their family; he visualized his own 'family' and felt sick. His dad left, but that was probably for the best, he was probably in prison, his mom was a substance abusing bitch who had a deathwish against him. His brother was dead because of him, his uncles were either in prison or dead, his aunts were in love with Demerol, and his cousins were all drug addicts, or abused, and his grandparents were dead. They were dysfunctional, they were fucked up, and everyone is distant. And though he was the youngest of his family, he was probably the most dependable and responsible.

He felt his anger boil in the pit of his stomach and he kept his head lowered. Thankfully, he had his shades, because if he didn't, people would probably keel over at his dark glare. Hyde didn't know what the hell he was supposed to be doing, wished he was anywhere but here, and felt ridiculous.

"Fuck this," he grumbled, glaring down the aisle of canned vegetables. The basket he carried was half full of the main necessities of grocery shopping, and Edna couldn't afford a lot. They usually bought the half priced and over-expired breads, the cheaper bottles of milk that were supposed to be sold by the day before, and the dented cans. The cheaper, the better; that's exactly how his "family" ran.

"Steven?" Hyde's shoulders slumped and his stomach contorted at the high pitched woman's voice. Slowly, he turned around and plastered a small smile on his face as he gazed down at the middle aged woman in front of him. "Eric told me you weren't at school today, were you not feeling well?"

"No, Mrs. Forman, I was fine, I just got my license." Hyde answered, eyes staring straight in the blonde woman's. He was so glad he had his sunglasses. She laughed nervously and smiled at him, the smile she gave when they had their one on one talks.

"So today is the day for everyone to go grocery shopping, huh?" He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what else to do.

"I suppose," Hyde answered, trying to add a bit of enthusiasm in his voice so she wouldn't be concerned. But he knew that she knew better than to fall for his facade.

"Is your mother here?" Hyde sighed and grudgingly nodded, which made Mrs. Forman's face fall. He knew that the kind, loving woman couldn't stand his mom, no one could. Mrs. Forman once told him she's "protective of her baby bears, and wants to make sure that they're always happy," and Edna was the main antagonist of Hyde's negative disposition.

"Unfortunately," he mumbled, slowly switching the basket to his left hand so Mrs. Forman wouldn't be able to glance at the dates printed on the labels. Otherwise she'd offer to pay for half, which Hyde would try his best to decline and persuade her not to. Kitty also knew how rare the occasion of grocery shopping was for his household, which was also what may have worried her. "Probably looking at the tequila." Kitty patted his shoulder reassuringly and smiled up at him.

"Well, I was just headed there myself, you know how Red likes to have Schnapps every now and then..." Hyde's eyes almost bugged as he heard the woman speak. No way in hell was Kitty going to go to that aisle _coincidentally _at the same time as Edna. The last thing he needed was for the two women to meet. Not again.

"Well, I can go get it, if you want." Hyde offered, she waved her hand and laughed.

"No, it's fine, Steven-"

"Mrs. Forman... please...?" just as she began to walk down the aisle, she stopped. Hyde never used emotion in his voice, unless it was sarcasm or anger. And when he heard his own plea, he knew that it would get her attention. He hadn't meant for it to sound so begging, but if it stopped her, then he was glad.

"Okay, Steven, if you insist, you can go get it for me, I have to get some peas, anyway." Hyde smiled, his only way of showing gratitude and took off down the aisle, but glanced back at the woman who was shaking the can of peas close to her ear... he didn't understand. Shaking it off, he breathed a sigh of relief and carried himself down the produce aisle until he reached the 6th aisle- the alcohol. Just as he figured, Edna was loading two baskets full of the most expensive alcohol, though he didn't mind much.

Her weary body was slumped against the other row of alcohol, her bleary yellowed eyes darting across the labels.

"Steven, you get everything?" Edna asked with her hoarse voice. Hyde held up the half full basket and she glared at him. "Can't you do a damn thing right?" She snapped, standing straight, except her shoulders which were slightly hunched from poor posture.

"Huh?" Hyde asked, confused. He had tried his hardest to find the things that he would need, and her as well, and the cheapest items as well. He didn't know what he did wrong, but obviously it pissed her off.

"God you're so fucking stupid, you're just like your father, Steven." She breathed frustratedly. "You know I don't have the damn money for two bottles of milk, and you can't get the most expensive bread, either!"  
"But I-"

"Don't you argue with me, Steven! I've done the best I can for you and I don't deserve your disrespect!" Now she was practically screaming and Hyde buried his face in his free hand, embarrassed by her scene.

"Whatever." he mumbled, "why don't you get your drunk ass to actually do something worthwhile for once instead of fucking anything that has a leg and a dick." He was sick and tired of her bull shit and he wasn't going to take it either. So what if she screamed, so what if she hit him; if anyone saw she'd get arrested.

"What did you say?" she questioned darkly, her blue eyes icy with rage. "You have no right to tell me I should do shit when all you do is sit around on your lazy ass all day complaining." Hyde just stared at her confused, he did nothing of the sort. If anything, that was her, or him when he was too tired to even move.

"Quit talking about yourself that way, it's not good for you." Hyde smart mouthed with a smirk, earning him a smack in the face. He took a deep breath, his cheek so used to the contact that he didn't even feel the harsh sting. But he was completely unaware of the quiet bystander staring in horror at the sight of mother and son arguing in such a manner.

"What are you looking at?" Edna barked, staring passed him. Hyde rubbed his cheek and turned around, only to jump in shock. Tiny Mrs. Forman stood shaking with rage ten feet behind him, her usual glittering blue eyes now appeared lethal. His heart leaped in fear at the fury that was etched in the kind woman's face and bit his lip, wondering what was going to happen. He had never seen her this angry and he was certain he never wanted to see it again.

"_Did you just slap him_?" Mrs. Forman asked, her voice low, like when she's questioning her husband's motives.

"Does it matter?" Hyde stepped aside, knowing that that was definitely the wrong thing to say. Mrs. Forman stepped closer to Edna, and took a glance at Hyde before nearing the younger woman. Her quick glance told him enough; she wasn't about to see her baby bear be tortured anymore.

"You are just an evil little bitch," Kitty spat, Hyde's jaw dropped at what Mrs. Forman had said.

"Your point?" Edna replied coolly, seemingly unbothered by the insult.

"How can a woman who has such a wonderful son as yours be so cruel to him? If anything he should be yelling at you, he has to deal with your filthy ways and your constant and unnecessary abuse!"

"It's not abuse, it's proper discipline, something he deserves!"

"Turning a boy black and blue is not 'proper discipline', Edna and you know it!" Hyde slowly backed away from the two women who, if they were animals, would be ripping each other apart, with blood and skin flying in every direction. If it were any other people, he would have found this hilarious, but they were his biological mother and his theoretical mother, and they were arguing about him, which he didn't deem necessary.

"I know what's right for him, and if that's what his payment of ruining my life is, then he deserves it!"

"The only thing he did to your life is try to make it better for you! You can't blame Steven for your own failures, it'll only cost you to lose everything that may ever matter to you."

"I already did, that mistake standing there made me lose the one thing I did right in this life." Hyde flinched as the impact of her words hit him home. She had to bring up Chris. The sixteen year old felt light headed as he listened to the two women argue, and wondered why none of the employees were over here.

"You can't bring up the past, Edna, but if you insist... if you hadn't abandoned your two sons at the God damn mall then you wouldn't have lost your other son! Once again, it is your damn fault and Steven is NOT A MISTAKE!" Kitty roared, Hyde took this as the time to abandon the situation as well as bring it to an end. Glancing at the two, he noted that they were definitely not paying any attention to him and he set down the red basket, and quickly scampered down the aisle. He ran throughout the store until he practically ran into an employee in his mid twenties.

"Excuse me," Hyde began, earning the employees attention, "There's a fight going on in aisle 6 that's bringing a disturbance to customers, and you should do something about it." The man gave a quick smile at Hyde and placed one more package of meat into the bin.

"Thank you, sir, we'll deal with it right away," he responded, then took off down the aisle. Hyde glanced as the employee ran to the backroom, then came out moments later with two more employees. Pocketing his hands, he didn't look back as he silently exited the store, mentally weighing the words spoken between Mrs. Forman and Edna.

* * *

"Hyde, where were today, man?" Eric asked two hours later in the basement. The two lounged on the couch, both still like two kites from the circle they briefly held a half hour ago.

"Finally got my license," Hyde mumbled, staring at the black and white television; Samantha so beat Jeanie. Eric glanced at him in a way that made Hyde uneasy; Forman wanted to talk.

"So my mom saw you at the grocery store..."

"Yep." Hyde answered nonchalantly, knowing exactly where this conversation was going. If Eric actually thought he was going to talk, well Forman was baked, so it was understandable. But still, it was absolutely crazy to even predict that though the two of them were completely toasted, that they'd be able to have a deep conversation. Brief conversations were for softies like Eric.

"So how bad was it?" He was referring to the argument that was more like a Mother Stand-Off that had occurred in the alcohol aisle. Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Fuckin' hilarious, man, you should have heard it," Hyde paused as he continued to laugh, not noticing that his friend wasn't laughing along with him." They were like, 'you can't blame Steven for your own failures, it'll only cost you to lose everything that may ever matter to you!', 'I already did, that mistake standing there made me lose the one thing I did right in this life.' It was hilarious, man!" Eric's face was ashen as he gawked at Hyde, his eyes widened with shock at what he was laughing at.

"Your mom seriously said that?" Hyde shrugged and nodded.

"Man, that's nothing... if anything that's a compliment." Hyde replied, his laughter dying down.

"That's awful, Hyde. I mean... she brought up Chris?"  
"Daily."

"Seriously? Man your mom is a bitch!" Hyde burst out laughing once more.  
"Tell me something I don't know," He mumbled, smirking. Eric was quiet as he stared at the television screen, and Hyde sighed softly, leaning back on the couch.

"You know Edna's wrong, right?" Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes, sunglasses temporarily abandoned from the circle. "I'm not kidding, Hyde."

"Forman, just shut your yap, I'm sick of all the girly talk of feelings, man. I have hot jugs right in front of me on the TV, and all you want to do is talk? I'm pretty sure Laurie's more manly than you, man." Eric sneered at the insult, but knew it was Hyde closing himself up in his zen shell. It was practically useless trying to get him to hear anyone else's opinions but his own and Edna's.

Hyde's knee bounced as his legs were stretched out on the wooden table over the magazines and chip wrappers that he, Eric, Fez, and Kelso had munched on as they gathered in the circle.

"Hyde, c'mon man, you gotta be pissed at what your mom said," Hyde inwardly cringed and he turned his attention to the screen, where the hell were his sunglasses? He didn't want Eric to see that he was pissed, that he was hurt; that he actually gave a damn about what was said back at the Piggly Wiggly. He was Hyde. He didn't feel anything or show emotion with anyone. "Fine... whatever, man. So why didn't you leave with Fez and Kelso?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders, after he waited in the car and took Edna home and unloaded the groceries, she had kicked him out before he could grab clothes.

"I dunno, just wanted to hang here but I didn't know you'd go all soft." Eric raised an eyebrow at him, knowing that wasn't the reason.

"Edna kicked you out, didn't she?"

"No. I just don't want to go home," Hyde 'clarified', which was halfway true. If Edna hadn't kicked him out, he still would have decided not to go home. But Eric's continuous staring made him feel uncomfortable. "Fine! Edna kicked me out," Hyde grumbled flatly, which made Eric grimace.

"I don't understand you, man." Hyde gritted his teeth and clenched his fist, thinking that Eric was siding with Edna, which didn't make sense. "How the hell do you deal with that? Your whole life she's been a bitch and yet you're always there, you're always defending her or trying to make your life seem better."

"What the hell are you talking about, Forman?" Hyde barked, closing himself up even more.

"You always say, 'oh life isn't so bad, she's just a bitch sometimes' or you're acting like nothing ever happens. But you know it does, and we know it does, man... and it's got to be tough. But you don't ever-"

"Unlike you in your little Cleaver world, I don't talk. Forman, I just don't need it, man."

"But Hyde-"

"Forman, get it through your head, _everything- is- fine_. I'm just going to go home, anyway, Edna's probably passed out. I'll see you tomorrow, man." Hyde growled, standing up quickly. Eric looked about ready to protest, yet thought better of it and instead gave a wave of his hand. Hyde nodded quickly before closing the basement door and quickly pattered up the cement stairs into the night. He shivered as he glanced around, the sky black from the winter clouds hiding the stars. Bitter winds traveled through the air and he gritted his teeth and shoved his hands in his hoodie pockets. His hands were already chapped from the cold, any more exposure to the cold air would make his skin bleed.

Hyde dragged himself down the sidewalk, eyes lowered to the ground as he walked in the early December night. He didn't know what he was going to do, the temperatures were near zero and his was already freezing his nads off. Hyde absolutely hated winter and to spend more than five minutes of his time in the freezing air would only make him hate it even more.

The thought of both Mrs. Forman and Edna fighting over him still made him sick. He was worthless; he wasn't enough for Mrs. Forman to get worked up over. Hyde knew she meant well, but she had to choose her battles wisely. Knowing that one person thought of him as someone important enough to fight over and stand up for made him feel good. But if the person who was supposed to care about him like that would make an instant trade on his life for a twenty-four pack, the fight didn't mean much. If his own mother couldn't stand the thought of his existence, then how did everyone else feel about him?

Hyde trembled once more and glanced around as white flecks of snow danced to their death on the ground. He grimaced at the snow and continued on his aimless adventure.

"H-Hyde?" The sixteen year old snapped his head up from his cold stare on the ground to find the person that matched the voice.

"Jackie?" Hyde asked, staring at the tiny girl shivering in the late winter night. "What are you doing?" She stared up at him and timidly walked back so that she would be closer to him. Her cheeks were rosy from the bitter air and her hair was windblown. He couldn't help but notice blood-shot eyes.

"I'm walking home from Michael's, and I'm scared." Jackie whimpered, shivering violently and wrapping her thick dark pink coat closer to her. Hyde sighed softly and turned his head every which way, trying to find a reason for her to be afraid.

"Nothing to be scared of." he mumbled, staring quizzically down at her. He didn't care that she was walking home alone in the night; she didn't have that much distance to travel, and she wouldn't be crossing any of the so called 'ghetto' areas.

"I'm afraid of the dark though..." she trailed off, sniffling as she gazed up at him with wet eyes. "Will you walk with me?"

"Why didn't Kelso?" Hyde asked, then noted her scoff and shrugged. He knew it was Kelso they were talking about, the guy always had some stupid excuse to get out of things. But it was pretty heartless of him to leave his girlfriend to walk alone at night. Even though it was Jackie.

"I don't want to see him right now... and his mom brought home puppies." Jackie whispered, playing with the feathered cuff of her light pink gloves covering her hands. Hyde wasn't going to ask why she didn't want to see him, but in all honesty he was a tad curious. She was always annoyed or angry at him for some reason, so it didn't surprise him that much. But this was Jackie, and he knew that all the way to her house she would be venting to him about her anger with her boyfriend and he definitely wasn't looking forward to that.

"Oh," was all he said, hands still deep in his pockets to keep them warm, tempted to just start walking. But even though he wished he could be that cruel... he wasn't; though he couldn't stand Jackie.

"Hyde, will you please walk me home?" Jackie asked him almost pleadingly. He sighed and closed his eyes; he had nothing better to do. He had to wait until he knew the Forman's would be sleeping and that wouldn't be for at least two more hours.

"Whatever," he grumbled, which caused the fourteen year old to squeak with happiness. Hyde groaned in annoyance and nodded his head forward to urge her to continue walking; the sooner she was out of his presence, the better.

Hyde took long strides which made it hard for the shorter girl to keep up; it was slightly on purpose. He just wanted to get this adventure over with, he couldn't take her constant babbling. But ten minutes later, the two were walking in silence; Hyde noticed that Jackie hadn't said a word... which was un-Jackie-like. Something had to seriously be up.

Hesitantly, he took a glance at the girl who was now trailing two feet behind him, and felt his disgruntled expression soften as his heart sank to his stomach.

"Jackie..." he began, not believing he actually felt bad for the fourteen year old who was quietly sobbing behind him. He watched as large crocodile tears rolled down her pink cheeks and her shoulders quake gently with her silenced sobs. He didn't understand why people had this effect on him... he hated seeing others in pain though he didn't act like it. And watching this girl bread down in front of him made him feel awful for not noticing before. "Hey..." he softly began, stepping back to join her. "What's wrong?" Instead of getting a stammering answer, she burrowed her head in his chest and he stiffened at her closeness. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to do; he wasn't good at comforting people. Biting his lip he slowly raised his hand and patted her shoulder with uncertainty as she sobbed loudly in his hoodie.

Hyde could her soft mumbling come from her, yet her voice was muffled by his shirt. He wasn't sure what she was saying or what he should say, so he just stayed quiet. She trembled against him and he just stared at the top of her head as he stood awkwardly on the sidewalk in the night. Finally she pulled her head up from his chest and sighed shakily.

"I... I'm sorry... I'm just..." she trailed off, at a loss for words; which shocked Hyde. He just stared at her as she wiped her eyes with her fingertips, taking her makeup with. She glanced down at her two index fingers and grimaced. "Oh I probably look awful now!" Hyde rolled his eyes but continued to look at her; actually he thought she looked better without all of the black eye goop that she thought made her look prettier. "Michael... he's such an idiot."

"Tell me something I don't know," Hyde mumbled as he chuckled, stepping at the same pace as Jackie so she wouldn't feel alone.  
"Today's my birthday, and he just forgot about it... and then I mentioned it and he seemed so surprised. After all this time... he should have known!" Hyde's shoulders slumped and he inwardly sighed; this was about a birthday?

"That sucks..." Hyde mumbled flatly. So what that her boyfriend forgot her birthday? She probably had a crazy party with fluffy pink decorations and pink cupcakes with pink frosting and a frilly pink dress-

"And that's not even the worst part," Jackie continued solemnly, wiping her eyes. "My parents aren't even home to celebrate with me. My mom's somewhere near Mexico, or she sent me a postcard with her next to a hut... and my dad's on some business trip in Sweden... and I'm so alone!" She began to weep again and Hyde sighed softly and placed his arm around her. Yeah, he knew what the loneliness was like.

"It sucks, doesn't it?" Hyde mumbled darkly, staring ahead. Jackie nodded and stared up at him.

"Are you alone often too?" Hyde scoffed and stopped walking once again, causing Jackie to abruptly halt her two stepping.

"I dunno..." Hyde mumbled, but his mind fought his zen answer. His dad had left when he was eight. His mom was a drunk whore who was either gone for three weeks at a time on her own tripping adventures with some random guy or in prison because of her little journeys. He knew what it was like to be alone since he was five years old. And Jackie wasn't alone; she had maids and people she could still talk to. "I guess."

"What do you mean?" Jackie asked, tilting her head in curiosity.

"I'm alone a lot I guess..." Hyde trailed off, "but I like being alone." Jackie shrugged and he glanced awkwardly ahead of him as they once again continued their walk.

"You're not wearing your sunglasses," Jackie chirped moments later to break the silence. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and walked on without saying a word. He did notice that it was nicer to have someone walking with him so he wouldn't think about the cold and the winter. It was a way for him to forget about his own thoughts that he didn't want to think. Though he was walking with Jackie who even in a sour mood would still talk a mile a minute. "Why aren't you wearing them?" Hyde didn't actually know the answer to that. He had been high and had forgotten them; he didn't want Jackie to confirm her suspicions on his illegal activities.

"I left them at Forman's..." he mumbled, now playing with the torn cuff on his sweatshirt.

"Can I tell you something?" momentarily he turned towards her and gave her a look of apathy. "I'm thinking about proving my love to Michael..." Wait, what?

"You mean like _sex_?" he asked, finding it ironic that they always had this conversation.

"Yes... I just feel that it's the right time... but I want to know what you think." Jackie mumbled.

"Why?" He asked, confused at that. His opinions never counted for anything, it was completely useless and never listened to.

"You're the only one who would be honest with me." Hyde sighed softly and ran his hand through his curly mop of hair. She had a point.

"Weren't you just upset at him for forgetting your birthday?"

"Well, yeah, but he forgets when Christmas is..." Hyde shrugged, remembering the long conversation that took place in the basement when Kelso questioned why people said "it's Christmas in July."

"Would you even consider my opinion?" Hyde blurted unintentionally. Jackie was the type of person to ask for advice, then tell people they were wrong. He didn't understand it, but ten times out of ten giving sensible and realistic advice to her wasn't worth it.

"Yes."

"Then I don't think you should do it." Hyde flat out spat.

"Why?" she asked defensively, her shrill voice rising.

"Because Kelso means well, usually... but do you think he's the right guy?" He knew by talking with Donna that girls wanted their first time to be with the right guy, the one, and have it super romantic and girly. That was stupid, it was all just fantasy. Sex didn't happen that way; there was no emotional connection that girls always dream of. It's just physical and raunchy.

"Yes."

"Jackie... I'd really think about it," why was he so concerned anyway?

Because he knew Kelso's ways. Yes, he loved Jackie, but he loved parts of other girls as well as her. He had cheated on Jackie so many times since they were _really_ dating and before. Having sex to him would be awesome; he wouldn't do it because of the "emotional connection." He'd just do it because he's horny and he could finally say he's not a virgin. And it would leave him to have sex with a ton of other girls and Jackie would never know. As much as he couldn't stand her, he didn't think the now fifteen year old deserved that. Especially since she was so emotionally vulnerable.

Jackie glared at him and turned away, angered by his opinion. He sighed heavily and shook his head; he knew it wouldn't matter. She'd just go ahead and give herself to him anyway, thinking it would make them closer. Then in a few weeks time she'd have her heart crushed and for some reason he would want to say "I told you so." But it didn't matter because she'd tell everyone that they didn't try to warn her.

"Why?" she asked, voice sounding insulted. Hyde pursed his lips and shrugged as they turned onto the block full of rich estates and gigantic houses.

His stomach twisted with nervousness as he walked through the perfect neighborhood. The houses were at least three stories tall, with huge kept up lawns and absolutely no snow anywhere near the houses or lawns. Hyde had been in this area before, but only when he pulled pranks with Kelso. He felt completely out of place; a street rat in a royal city. That's how he pictured it. Being around such a beautiful area of town made him feel nervous, like an outcast.

Hyde didn't notice Jackie staring at him, taking note of every shift of his eyes and the uneasiness etched on his face as they walked passed houses that with each fence grew larger and larger than the last.

"There's nothing to be scared of," she practically whispered, he turned to her, eyes vulnerable, and saw her smile softly at him; like she read his mind. She chuckled. "I think I know why you wear your sunglasses," she mumbled, and he shrugged again. "You can see everything you feel right in your eyes. And you want people to think you can't feel anything. But really you feel just as much as everyone else, if not more."

"Jackie, I think you should think about your choice of being with Kelso because honestly you deserve better than he can give you." Hyde mumbled. Yes, Kelso was his friend, and he couldn't really stand Jackie. But she had expectations of her boyfriend that he would never be able to make. Sure he showered her with shiny and beautiful gifts and knew most of the right things to say at usually the right time. But he couldn't be loyal to her, she couldn't trust him to keep his hands off of the next chick that walked passed him with a great rack or legs. Jackie wanted a guy who loved her unconditionally, like a prince in armor or something, and Kelso was more like the knight who wants her, but stays behind.

He had only said that because, well he felt that way, but also he didn't want to talk about feelings. Hopefully Jackie didn't catch on because he didn't want to have to have a stupid argument over stupid feelings with a stupid cheerleader. Hyde knew that she was smart about things like that, and that she could catch the subject change if she really wanted to talk about it. But since it was about her boyfriend, then maybe it would avert her attention.

"Michael gives me all that I want; he loves me very much." His plan had worked. Hyde smirked as he now followed slightly behind her, unsure of which way to turn or where to go to get to her house.

"I hope so," Hyde mumbled, wondering to himself why he cared so much about her damn happiness. She was a spoiled bitch; she got whatever she wanted and didn't have anything to complain about. If anything she could complain about her parents because he could relate on some level. Her parents actually seemed to care about her.

"You don't have to follow your last name," Jackie mumbled, walking up a long sidewalk lightly dusted with snow. Hyde stared at her, confused. "You don't have to hide, that's only your choice. You have nothing to be afraid of." Hyde ignored her comment and stared ahead, watching as Jackie made her way to the mansion in front of him. Once she disappeared inside, he sighed wistfully and shook his head and turned to wander the streets until dawn.


	41. One Thing

_**Author's Note: I am honestly ashamed of this chapter. I really like this episode, and I think some parts are good, but it's so short. I haven't written a chapter this short in forever and I thought about adding more, but it would be jargon. I'm not one for short chapters, and it's really irking me, but I guess I just have to deal with it. I guess I can describe it as short and sweet... nah, that doesn't really help. I hope you enjoy this, and I blame this chapter on my Christmas mood now. - **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

_**The Best Christmas Ever**_

_Restless tonight 'cause I wasted the light. Between both these times I drew a really thin line. It's nothing I planned, and not that I can. But you should be mine across that line. If I traded it all, if I gave it all away for one thing, just for one thing. If I sorted it out, if I knew all about this one thing wouldn't that be something? I promise I might not walk on by. Maybe next time, but not this time. Even though I know, I don't want to know. Yeah, I guess I know, I just hate how it sounds..._

It was the night before Christmas. Claymation cartoons played on every television channel, the radio was overpowered by Christmas carols, and the constant Wisconsin snow continued to fall.

Hyde sat on his mattress, hands holding a five by seven inch photograph. His bare eyes stared curiously at the picture. Two children that sat on the porch seemed so happy. The young Hyde had his arm draped over Donna's shoulders and he wore a grin rather than the usual smirk. Donna had her usual smile and looked content, her red hair was pulled half back in a ponytail. They were still like that; the two of them were still close, they still sat for hours on her porch talking about absolutely nothing.

The sixteen year old sighed softly and placed to photo on his pillow. His eyes fell upon the picture frame he had bought at Bob's store for two dollars. Reaching for the frame, Hyde slipped the glass sheet out and placed the photo in the mahogany frame. After sliding the glass back in, Hyde turned it over and clicked open his switchblade. Pressing the razor sharp tip of the blade into the wood, he began to carve _'Merry Christmas Donna- Hyde- 1976.'_ He wanted the caption on the back to be as legible as possible, and carving words in a piece of wood made it it harder to have good penmanship, which he already lacked. But Donna wouldn't care about the writing on the back of the frame; it was the photo that would hopefully get to her. He wanted his gift to mean something and perfume just wouldn't do it.

Hyde ran his hand through his hair as he pocketed his knife. Suddenly, he felt nervous about returning to the Forman's. He would be giving Donna this lousy present and Eric would spend so much money on a great gift that she'd love. He didn't want Donna to laugh at his gift and throw it away; he had to admit, it was so stupid. But it's not like he could give her anything else.

Sighing, he quickly wrapped it in some newspaper; he didn't have any colorful or Santa-printed wrapping paper. As he gazed disgustedly at the horribly wrapped Christmas present, Hyde knew she would hate it, and she'd just love Eric's. But this would have to do.

Hyde zipped his hoodie, the present was hidden underneath his sweatshirt. He stood up from his broken mattress and dragged himself to his door. Before exiting his bedroom, Hyde slipped his sunglasses on and flicked the switch to turn off his light.

Quickly, he tried to exit his full house without being seen. Music roared from the 8-track player and smoke of all kinds created a very thick haze in every room. Hyde's head was lowered as he left the uncomfortable party. He was absolutely terrified of his mom seeing him, she didn't even know he had come back in the first place.

Cautiously looking behind him once more, Hyde ripped open the front door and high tailed it out of his trashy home. He breathed a sigh of relief as he walked down his creaky and rotted front porch steps. The air was cold and sharp to his lungs yet compared to the inside of his house, it felt great.

The light snow crunched under his boots as he sluggishly made his way down the sidewalk. The flakes melted on the tan leather and dripped through the holes made by the constant rubbing of his toes and heels on the sides of his shoes. The icy water from the snow then seeped through his socks and began to numb his feet. Which actually felt better to Hyde than the sharp pain of each step because of the much too tight boots.

Hyde grimaced and rubbed his raw and cracked hands together to keep them warm. He didn't own gloves so the continuous exposure to the dry and freezing air chapped his skin. Whenever he was at the Forman's he tried his hardest to keep Kitty from seeing his hands because she would probably cry. It didn't bother him too much; it stung a little, but he had felt worse.

There weren't too many decorations on the run down lawns; though the town was small, there were a lot of varied classes. And the walk from his shack to Eric's home showed the transition. The "decorations" slowly progressed from beer bottles and shattered glass to reindeer and Santas on lawns.

The night was quiet. The only sound that filled Hyde's ears was his own feet dragging along the sidewalk thickly blanketed in snow. All sounds were muffled by the winter chill, no cars dared to drive on the icy streets. Eric, Kelso, and Hyde had ventured out for a Christmas tree earlier, but that had been when the streets were freshly plowed and salted. But now the drifts submersed the streets once more.

Hyde carried on, the photograph felt like it was burning through his long sleeved shirt. He didn' want to think about having to hand over the lame gift. It made him sick. Donna didn't want a crappy picture; but it was the best present a poor 16 year old boy could give.

Taking a deep breath, Hyde walked up the Forman's driveway. His eyes shifted momentarily to the kitchen door. The muffled sounds of Christmas carols from the adults' part quickly steered him to the basement steps. As he descended the snowy stairs, he shook his head. Melted water flew every which way. With an uneasy stomach, Hyde bit his lip and opened the door.

The warmth of the basement instantly greeted him. His friends were chatting with other people he had only seen in the hallways at school. No one acknowledged his presence; Eric and Donna were in their own conversation. Fez was surrounded by the pep squad; all of them reeked of alcohol. Jackie was there as well, staring glumly at the wall. Hyde, unnoticed, sat on the couch and stared vacantly at the half empty punch bowl.

"Did you get Donna a present?" Hyde started at the whisper and scowled.

"It wasn't for Donna," he lied through gritted teeth. Jackie sat down beside him with a smug smile on her face.

"If it wasn't for Donna, then why are you here, rather than with the girl?" Hyde glowered, still staring at the punch bowl. His silence only proved her right.

"It better be better than Eric's." Hyde grimaced and lowered his head. What did Eric get her? Necklace? Earrings?

"Whatever," he grumbled, reaching for the ladle in the punch bowl. As he was about to pour the fruit punch in the plastic cup, he felt Jackie's hand grab his forearm. Slowly, he turned his head and glared.

"What?" he hissed flatly, eyes glaring into hers.

"It's spiked," Jackie warned; he could smell the alcohol on her breath. Hyde grinned. Forman finally learned how to throw a party! Hyde gulped down the spiked punch, much to the awe of Jackie, and felt the alcohol burn his throat.

_'Can't be Forman, he couldn't handle that,'_ Hyde thought with a smirk.

"Why didn't you say something about it sooner?" He asked, which made Jackie roll her eyes and go over to Fez. After five more glasses of the punch and one beer, Hyde made up his mind. Alcohol didn't have much of a factor; he was only tipsy. He just wanted to get this over with. By this time, Kelso had made his presence, with a present for Jackie. So he didn't have to worry about her criticizing his lame gift. Taking a deep breath, Hyde stood up and nervously staggered up to Donna and Eric. He coughed, getting the two's attention, and suddenly felt nauseous.

"Donna, I got a present for you... it's not much..." he began, completely embarrassed as he cautiously handed her the present. She and Eric cast unsure glances at one another as she held the wrapped frame. Hyde grimaced, but kept his cool; he knew it was an awful present. He watched as her pale, slender fingers hurriedly peeled off the tape. _She was going to hate it. She was going to think it was stupid. She was going to-_

"Oh my God, Hyde," she gasped, eyes glittering as she gazed at the black and white photograph.

"It's you and I in the fifth grade, I had it in my drawer, so..." Hyde glanced up and relaxed as he caught her beam.

"It's great, Hyde, I love it!" she chirped, he sighed with relief. Eric glared at Hyde, who chose to ignore his friends jealousy as he stepped forward.

"I have a present, too," he piped up, handing Donna a neatly wrapped, small box. Of course Eric had to outdo him; the box would be in the shiniest red paper, the present would be expensive, and Donna would love him for it.

"Oh, White Shoulders, I love this stuff," Donna gushed, "thank you." Hyde's stomach twisted as she kissed Eric's cheek; he knew his gift was crap. But her reaction cemented it. She didn't care. Hyde didn't understand why he couldn't just forget about her, put off his feelings for her like he did for everything else. Eric would always be better than Hyde. At everything; it was meant to be.

"Oh my God, you can see my training bra through my shirt!" Hyde chuckled softly at her exclamation; she had gone back to examining his gift.

"Yeah... I remember that training bra," he mumbled, glancing at her with a smirk.

"Gee, I wish I got you something like..." Eric trailed off, staring right at Hyde, who just shrugged.

"Man, it's nothing, it's st-" Donna scoffed.

"It's not nothing! It's so thoughtful! It's like... the sweetest thing anyone has ever given me, Hyde." Hyde's face softened at her words. She liked it? Hyde stiffened as Donna leaned in and kissed his cheek momentarily; she couldn't do this to him.

"Next to the perfume," Donna quickly added, which made Eric smile.

"Right, well, I wrapped it myself..." Hyde's attention averted to the quiet footsteps on the stairs, rather than Eric's rambling. His shaded eyes found Red standing on the foot of the stairs, arms crossed. The two made eye contact, and Hyde stared at him knowingly. The sixteen year old knew that hell was about to reign down on them all. He glanced at Eric, and the beer, thought about warning him, but decided against it.

"Eric!" Red barked, "before you explain the beer, maybe you can tell me why there are two State Troopers in the living room confiscating our Christmas tree!" Hyde took a deep breath and glanced at Eric, who was ashen faced.

"Oh that... um... funny story, and a true story... you're gonna laugh..."

"Just get to the point!"

Hyde watched as the others in the room realized the part was about to die. And not just end. No. It was going to crash and burn like the apocalypse.

It had been his idea to steal the tree, so they could have money for beer. Beer; which he could have easily taken from Edna's party. But instead he suggested stealing the tree.

"-And Hyde loves Donna!" Jackie slurred in her squeal. Hyde stood stock still at her accusation, and glanced at Donna, who stared at him. He scoffed, yet panic chilled him to the bone.

"Whoa, she... she's crazy, man!" he defended, his cheeks felt hot from his paranoia.

"Eric, have these girls been drinking?"

"No, look Dad, I swear! Just mom's punch." The room watched as Red picked up the ladle and took a sip of the punch.

"Lousy with hooch!" he declared, mouth curled downwards in a dark grimace.

"You see? You see, Red? She's drunk man, that's drunk talk. False!" And it was true, he didn't love Donna; he didn't love anyone. He just wanted to be with her.

"Come on, Jackie, I'll take you and the sob sisters home. Eric, the rest of that beer goes in my fridge. Donna, your father is upstairs; I suggest you join him. Steven, help Eric clean up, and Kelso; go home!"

* * *

A half hour later, Hyde sat on the couch, staring at the television that was turned off. His legs were stretched on the coffee table. In his hands were two cans of beer that he had sneaked for him and Eric. The party had immediately died down, both upstairs and down, as soon as the police had arrived. Once the horde of people were gone, they began to clean up the mess. Why Hyde had been told to help instead of leave like Kelso, he had no clue. He was grateful for "staying and helping to clean" because he wouldn't have to go home until later. He didn't _plan_ on going home, but the Forman's didn't know that. He'd just hang out until they fell asleep and then he'd crash in the basement.

"So, Donna really liked your gift," Eric mumbled, eating a cookie.

"Whatever, I mean it's cool but I didn't know what else to do, man. I was gonna give her White Shoulder, too." Hyde said with a chuckle then he took a gulp of beer.

"Really?" Eric's face lit up, "that's funny. Good thing you didn't." Hyde smirked and nodded. Yeah, it really was.

"Yep."

"Hyde... uh... don't take this the wrong way, but, uh... why are you here?" He shrugged his shoulders as he stared at the glittering aluminum can. Hyde didn't want to walk in the cold. He didn't want to go home to Edna throwing up and screaming at him for breathing. He didn't want to go home and nearly turn blue because the house isn't heated. He didn't want to deal with Edna at all. But mostly he didn't want to wake up on Christmas morning and look at his bleary, undecorated house and go through yet another lousy Christmas. Even if he hid in the basement all day, he'd feel more welcome and happier than at home. There was a tree down there, after all.

"It's cold out, I don't feel like walking," he grumbled, crushing the aluminum can with his left hand.

"So, are you staying here?" Eric asked, turning to Hyde. The two just stared at each other, unsure of what to say or do. Both of them knew what Hyde's answer was, but he didn't feel like saying it.

"I dunno, if I do, I'll be out before 7:00," Hyde replied distantly, which made Eric scoff.

"You've shown up at our house every Christmas since you were ten, man. My mom just wishes you would show up for breakfast." Eric said with a grin. Hyde chuckled softly and shrugged. "If you're going to show up anyway, what's the point of going home first?"

"Dunno," Hyde replied, Eric tossed his empty beer can towards the fridge, and stood up.  
"So then, just stay, man. I mean, mom even pulled out a pillow and a couple of blankets in case you stayed." Hyde smirked.

"Fine, if it makes all of you happy, then I will." The two boys grinned at each other as he finally made up his mind.

They were right. Why should he go home and start Christmas off badly? Why not just stay here and have an all around good day? He planned on showing up later, anyway. But if anyone woke him before 9:00, he would be pissed.

Something soft hit the back of Hyde's head and blinded him. Slowly, he pulled the thick blanket off of his head and glared at Eric.

"Night, Hyde," Eric called quietly by the foot of the stairs, after tossing another blanket and a pillow.

"Night," he mumbled, already laying down. He listened to the creaks on the wooden steps and sighed softly, eyes wide open. "Hey, Forman?" he asked, knowing Eric could still hear him.

"Yeah?" he heard Eric ask, near the top of the stairs.

"Thanks, man," Hyde mumbled, curling on his side.

"No problem, man," Eric replied, then shut the basement stairs.

As Hyde concluded the night, he came across the conversation he had with Jackie, and actually smiled. She had been right; ironically, his present was better than Eric's; in sentimental value, at least. Hyde glanced around the darkened room, and stared at where he and Jackie had been standing. His stomach knotted in utmost repulsion, and he wondered how he didn't see it before; mistletoe.

"I drank too much," Hyde grumbled, summing up the night. He rubbed his forehead as he closed his eyes and drifted to sleep.


	42. Everything You Want

_**Author's Note: This chapter is not completely script by script and I added in some scenes to make this one longer because my previous chapter really made me mad. I love this episode and I wanted to write it perfect, but I didn't write it as it was in the show... I added more emotion rather than lots of humor. Yet there is tons of humor, well I think there is at least. :) Hope you all enjoy this one and the one after this will be First Date. Whoa, that's crazy. Anywho, I hope you like the sudden multiple updates so... enjoy!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**

* * *

**_

_**Ski Trip**_

_Somewhere there's speaking, it's already coming in. Oh and it's rising at the back of your mind. You never could get it, unless you were fed it; now you're here and you don't know why. But under skinned knees and the skid marks, past the places where you used to learn you howl and listen. Listen and wait for the echoes of angels who won't return. He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be. He says all the right things at exactly the right time, but he means nothing to you and you don't know why. I am everything you want, I am everything you need, I am everything inside of you that you wish you could be. I say all the right things at exactly the right time. But I mean nothing to you and I don't know why..._

"Hyde."

The sixteen year old glanced up, his shaded eyes caught the mismatched eyes of Jackie. He nodded at her, then continued carving into his desk with his compass.

"I was wondering if you wanted to go up to my cabin with Michael, Donna, Eric, and Fez tonight."

Why oh why did his study hall teacher make them sit by each other? He supposed that it was better than shop class last year, yet still it was absolute torture.

"Whatever," he mumbled nonchalantly, digging the metal point farther in the wooden desk. If he got away from his house and there was alcohol then he was definitely in.

"So is that a-"

"Sure, I'll go," he murmured as he brushed the wooden shavings off of the desk top. Jackie watched him as he did so, and stared at the carving in the wood.

"Okay... just bring a sleeping bag and we're leaving at 5:30." He nodded, not really paying attention to Jackie as he stabbed the middle of the drawing. She didn't need to tell him to be at Forman's at 5:30, he would already be there. "Okay, Hyde that's disgusting, what _is_ that?" Jackie asked. He glanced up at her and held his chest.

"A heart," he responded, then continued etching a large gaping hold in the carved heart.

"No it's not, hearts are like-" she paused, pulling out her pink folder, "this." Jackie pointed to a large, curvy heart with a drawn lace around the edges. On the inside she had written in perfect cursive _"Michael and Jackie Forever and Always." _He rolled his eyes and chuckled darkly.

"That's what people perceive hearts to look like, but in reality, they look like that." he pointed to the carving that almost looked like a knuckle, with tubes and drawn in veins.

"But that's disgusting!" Hyde just shook his head and glanced to the clock, praying for the bell to ring. Jackie was a sophomore; she should definitely know by now what an actual heart looked like. Then again, she was a stupid little cheerleader who only cared about Donny Osmond, her boyfriend, and perfectly manicured nails. She didn't care about school or what a real heart looked like; she didn't have to. She had the money, she had the looks, she had a sure future. Unlike him; his future depended on his smarts and good grades and, well his future was a very thin strand of hope.

"That's life," he mumbled, then picked up his binder as the bell rang. He shot up and high tailed it out of the classroom before anyone else. The hallway was crowded and noisy just like every Friday before; he shoved his way through clusters and packs of bodies. He ran down the dismal hall to the stairwell and leaped the ten stairs to the second floor. As he landed, he heard someone squeal in fear. Straightening, he smirked at Eric who stared at him wide eyed. Fez, who stood next to Eric wore the very same expression.

"Hey," Hyde mumbled carelessly. Eric rolled his eyes yet had a small smile on his face as he looked at him.

"Sometimes I wonder about you, man," Eric mumbled as he followed Hyde to the lockers.

"No need, Forman," he replied as he shoved his book and folder in his nearly empty locker. He didn't have any textbooks and only owned three notebooks and one binder. What filled up the empty space was crumpled sheets of homework; half of which had never been looked at.

"Guess where Fez was invited to?"  
"The-"

"No!" Fez barked, making both Eric and Hyde jump, "you are wrong!" Hyde wore a broad smirk as he stuffed his binder in his black messenger bag; the only backpack he owned since kindergarten. "Fez was invited to the luxurious cabin of Jackie's!" Eric and Hyde both glanced at each other, trying not to laugh.

"We all were, Fez," Eric replied, making his bright face fall.

"But she..." Hyde patted Fez's shoulder in hopes that it would make him feel better. "Why must she make me needy?" Eric and Hyde caught eyes once again, Eric looked about ready to laugh hysterically. Hyde's face drained of all color and he stopped patting Fez's shoulder, and turned to the shorter sixteen year old.

"Fezzie, why?" Hyde asked, in a way that for some reason sounded so funny to Eric that it made him burst out laughing.

"Her mismatched eyes haunt my dreams, oh Hyde why must I live this way?" Fez wailed, slamming his forehead into Hyde's shoulder as he regained composure. Hyde tried his hardest not to shove Fez off of him and to keep his own cool, but his pained expression made Eric laugh even more. "You smell very good.

"All right that's it Fez, OFF!" Hyde cried, grabbing Fez's shoulders and giving him a small shake. "Fez, get over Jackie. She is the devil. You don't want to be her prisoner. Look at Kelso, do you want to be like him?"

"I like a short leash. Actually any leash would do... Fez is lonely." Hyde shook his head and punched Eric in the arm, who was leaning on his locker to keep from falling on the floor.

"You're pathetic," Hyde grumbled to both of them, slinging his bag over his arm and leading them to the parking lot by the gym. Eric and Fez talked quietly behind Hyde as they followed behind him. Hyde rolled his eyes and continued to practically run to the Vista Cruiser. As he held open the side doors for Fez and Eric, he heard a giggle from the side of the school.

"Michael!" That wasn't Jackie. Slowly, Hyde turned and saw Michael and Pam Macy heatedly making out outside of the gym. She had taken off his shirt and he was attacking her neck in a frenzy that made Hyde feel sick. He hated Jackie, but Jackie... she loved Kelso. And Kelso was really pissing him off with the constant cheating. And Jackie deserved better; she deserved that Prince Charming who could give her a family and a big house and tons of babies and make her feel like queen of the world. All Kelso would do is provide her a small shack and twenty puppies.

"Fez, Forman, man, I left my stash in my locker man..." Hyde mumbled, as the walked the opposite way. The two boys gawked at him in horror; wondering how he could have forgotten it.

"Are you stupid, Hyde?" Eric yelled, "get back in there!"

"Wait for me, 'kay?" he asked, Eric nodded and the three turned to their separate ways.

Hyde couldn't believe he was actually standing up for Jackie. But he remembered that walk they had and how she said she really loved Kelso. And if she loved Kelso, then he knew how bad this would kill her. He didn't understand why her being heartbroken made him angry, yet here he was, slowly walking up to Kelso and Pam Macy. He didn't understand his own reasoning, yet he told himself it was the right thing to do.

"Kelso, man, what the hell?" He could practically feel the heat from the two bodies from five feet away. As he walked up closer, Kelso didn't freak out and hurry to put his shirt on. He just looked up from Pam's opened blouse and grinned.

"I'm making out with Pam Macy, Hyde!" Hyde sneered and caught eyes with Pam, who stared up at him with a lust filled haze. His stomach reeled with nausea from that look. _'Stupid squirrel girl,'_ he thought.

"Kelso, man, what are you doing?" Hyde asked, his hands in his pockets, "what about Jackie?"

"You hate her! I'm just having fun, Hyde!"

"And making out with sluts that even I could have is fun?" He barked, "I mean Pam, c'mon, you and I..." She grinned, then the two looked at Kelso.

"Oh!" Kelso gasped, offended. "You did not!"

"The sausage factory field trip? She wanted some sausage and I couldn't say no," Kelso glowered at Hyde. "But man, you've got Jackie, and we're all going up to the cabin. You're gonna ruin our fun, so... control your hormones for a couple days?" Kelso grinned goofily at Hyde.

"Man, we're almost done here-"

"I bet you are," Hyde grumbled, making Kelso gasp once more. "You know what, forget it man. You know Jackie is going to find out and you're gonna be screwed."

"No she won't, how could she find out?" Hyde motioned all around him.

"We're outside, you moron!" Hyde cried, "but whatever, you deserve this."

"Hyde, c'mon-"

"You know, you're just gonna screw yourself over by doing shit like this!" Hyde barked, Kelso rolled his eyes and picked up his shirt.

"What I want to know, Hyde, is why do you care?" Hyde wanted to know the very same thing.

"I don't care, man," Hyde mumbled, "I just wanna go to the damn cabin and get out of town. And you and Pam are not helping that case."

"Whatever, Hyde, it's all about you, and you're just jealous- Pam wait!" Kelso called. He gave one last glare to Hyde, then ran to follow Pam to her car.

Hyde stalked off, for some reason very angered. He dug in his pocket and pulled out a cigarette, then reached in his other pocket for his Zippo. As he walked onto the gravel to the parking lot, he exhaled the smoke and sighed. How stupid was Kelso? He had seen Jackie's little group of friends that spotted Kelso's horrible cheating scandal. Which he thought was funny. Everyone was going to find out, and Jackie was going to break up with him. And while everyone would worry about going to Jackie's cabin, Hyde knew Jackie wouldn't back out on her little vacation for all of them. It would be the perfect revenge on Kelso.

"That took awhile," Eric mumbled as Hyde slammed the backseat door to the Vista Cruiser shut. Donna and Fez turned to him, both of them noted his angry expression.

"What's up?" Fez asked, his head tilted with curiosity. Hyde just shook his head and rolled down the window so the cigarette smoke wouldn't fill up the car.

"Nothin', man, nothin'," Hyde mumbled, leaning against the seat as Eric pulled out of the parking lot. His eyes found Jackie, in the center of a little group of girls with shocked faces. He winced inwardly as he saw tears fall down her cheeks and she glanced towards the Vista Cruiser, right at him. They all did. Hyde turned away, his stomach twisting uneasily as Eric hurriedly drove away.

"Why do I care?" He mumbled, glancing behind, through the thin dust that had risen, he could still see Jackie staring at the car. His quiet talking earned him a skeptical glance from Fez. _ 'It's just Jackie...'_ he thought, _'and I hate Jackie.' _

"Whatever you tell yourself, brother!" Fez chirped, Hyde glanced up at him nervously, what did he mean? _'I don't even want to know...' _he thought to himself.

* * *

Two hours later, Hyde sat in the middle of the backseat in the Vista Cruiser, gazing at his thumbs that twirled boredly around each other. The car was cold, yet the heater was on full blast, and Jackie shivered beside him. Her eyes were puffy and blood shot and he did all he could to ignore her. But ever since that walk they had, he always felt bad for her. And he didn't get it.

"You were there," she whispered as she poked his shoulder. Hyde turned to the small girl and stared at her curiously. "Rachel saw you talking to Michael," Hyde shrugged his shoulders and turned on his side so he would face her. Fez watched the two curiously, and Hyde was oblivious to both Fez and Donna watching this odd scene.

"Yep," he whispered nonchalantly.

"Why?" She asked him, Hyde sighed softly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Hyde!" Fez chirped, which Hyde ignored, his attention turned to Jackie.

"I just don't get it," she whimpered, "I love him, and he does this..."

"I told you, Jackie," Hyde mumbled, "and I have a feeling he's just going to keep doing this again and again until he finally gets it," Jackie rolled her eyes and wiped the tears from her cheeks. She glared at Hyde and stomped on his foot.

"What are you talking about, Hyde?" she whispered angrily, "you don't know anything!" Hyde rolled his eyes and hit the back of his head against the seat and groaned loudly in annoyance.

"Whatever, Jackie, like I said, I'll tell you I told you so," She huffed and glared at him, lip quivering. He was never good at saying the right thing at the right time.

"Hey!" Fez growled, "Fez wants to know!" Hyde sighed angrily through gritted teeth and glared at Fez momentarily, then turned back to Jackie.

"Listen, Jack-"

"Quit leaving me out of the conversation!"

"Will everyone just-" In the middle of Eric's yell, the car spun to the right, and Eric slammed on the brakes, causing the Vista Cruiser to spin three hundred sixty degrees into the snow drift in the ditch. As the car spun wildly, Jackie squealed and Fez shrieked, Hyde's ears rang from their loud cries. Hyde watched as Jackie's head lolled to the side, about to hit the window and he grabbed her waist, pulling her to him. Her head practically slammed into his chest, though it was better than a glass window. He felt a pair of arms wrap around him, and he glanced to his right; Fez was holding on to him. Hyde glanced up to Eric and Donna, who were both trying not to cackle at his situation.

"Forman, get us out of this mess!" Hyde yelled, then nodded his head to the back. He saw Jackie's wide eyes staring at him from his chest and he suddenly loosened his grip on her waist. Hyde caught eyes with Donna, who looked a bit shaken, yet her lips were curled in a wide smile.

"Fez, let go," Hyde grumbled, turning to Fez who was shaking madly, terrified. "Are you hurt?"

"I'm ascared." Hyde chuckled and patted Fez's head, then nudged his shoulder so Fez would get off. Reluctantly, Fez let go and curled his legs onto the seat in the fetal position. Hyde sighed softly and let go of Jackie. She continued to look at him, much to the obvious amusement to Donna, and he hung his head.

"Are you okay?" He asked her, she nodded slowly and wiped her eyes.

"Why did you grab me?" She finally whimpered, looking right at him. Donna's smile instantly faded when hearing her question, and gazed at Hyde in awe. He rolled his eyes at Donna's astonishment and shrugged his shoulders. He continued to look right at Jackie, and though he wore his shades, it felt like she was looking right in his eyes; which scared the hell out of him.

"Because if I didn't, I'd smoosh you, and now I wonder why I didn't just let that happen." He grunted, rotating his neck to pop the joints. Jackie rolled her eyes at his rude retort and crossed her legs on the seat.

First it began with talking to Jackie at school; really their talk had just annoyed him. Then it was after school; he caught Kelso with Pam Macy, and Jackie knew he had talked to Kelso about it. She had come to the Forman's angry, not sad, yet he knew she was. She started crying on the way up to the cabin, and he had tried to talk to her. Instead, she only got angry with him. Then he grabbed her so she wouldn't get hurt. _What the hell was going on with him; this was Jackie Fucking Burkhart; the girl he absolutely could not stand since he was eight. Why did he care about her? No, he didn't care about her. Not at all. _

Hyde grimaced at his thoughts and stared straight ahead. He knew Donna was looking at him curiously, but he wasn't going to pay attention to her. He just wanted to forget about everyone, and he really wanted a freaking beer.

"Hyde!" He heard Eric call, voice slightly muffled from the closed doors of the car. Hyde turned to Jackie, saw her glance at him with her upper lip slightly wrinkled, and he groaned. Ignoring her protest, he leaned over her and rolled down the window, her constant poking and light punches against his side were just annoying.

"Will you stop?" He barked angrily at Jackie, who glared up at him angrily. Hyde climbed over her, one leg on either side of her, so he would avoid any physical contact with her. Poking his head out of the window, he saw Eric pouring kitty litter on the ground behind the tire.

"What, Forman?" Hyde asked, cheeks growing numb from the billowing winter winds. Eric glanced up and smirked at him.

"Will you try to back the car up? I'm not sure if I put down enough kitty litter," Hyde glanced down at the ground, his eyes averted to the large pile of kitty litter right behind the wheels and nodded.

"Yeah, I s'pose," he mumbled, Eric nodded his thanks, and Hyde pulled his head back into the car. He glanced down at Jackie once more, who just stared at him. As he pulled back his bent leg, he grunted from the tight space in the back seat, and attempted to sit like a normal person. The only way he could explain the next few moments would be: awkward. Jackie smirked at him as he tried his hardest to avoid touching her as he struggled to sit back where he had originally been sitting. Through his uncomfortable position, halfway on the seat, halfway on the floor, he glared up at her, and his eyes widened. Though he hated Jackie, he knew she was a girl, and he was at an angle that was very close to something that he would be very happy being close to; if it wasn't Jackie. He shook his head and coughed, ignoring that thought, and sighed.

"You know, Hyde, if you were playing Twister, you would have lost a long time ago," Fez chirped, Hyde looked up at Fez and shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't care," he grumbled, voice strained like his body. Yes, he wasn't tall like Kelso, yet he was stocky; and right now cramped.

"I'm sorry, Hyde, but this is actually really entertaining," Donna stifled as she laughed softly. Hyde chose to ignore her comment and propped his elbows on the cushioned seat. Jackie watched silently as he pulled himself back onto the seat.

"You could have helped," he growled to her, glad to finally be in a comfortable position.

"You could have asked," she snapped, he shook his head and climbed up to the front seat, head first. As Hyde wriggled through the tight space between the front and passenger seat, Donna reached to the ignition and turned on the car.

"Hyde, have you ever been told that you have a nice ass?" Hyde stopped crawling to the driver seat and slowly turned to look at Donna, who had stopped moving as well. She started giggling uncontrollably and he lowered his head in shame.

"Fez, can I ask you something?"

"Yes."

"STOP LOOKING AT MY ASS!" Fez squeaked at Hyde's outburst, which was even heard by Eric. Once Hyde was sitting properly in the driver's seat, he pulled the shift into reverse, and gently pressed down on the gas pedal. Instantly, the tires screeched and the Vista Cruiser suddenly jolted backwards, then slid back down and halted in the original spot. Hyde reached in the darkness of the car for the manual lever to roll down the window. His arm cranked down the glass window and once again poked his head out of the window.

"Tell me when to go, Forman!" Hyde yelled, watching his breath steam from his mouth. He heard the patter of the kitty litter on the snow and Eric cry out.

"Oh God, it tastes awful!" Hyde sighed and rested his head on the open window of the car, waiting for Eric to further instruct him. He was beginning to wonder if they were ever going to get to the ski cabin. "Okay, Hyde, try again!" Eric finally called, Hyde's left hand grabbed the wheel, the right once again pulled the shift into reverse. With a little more torque, Hyde pressed harder on the gas pedal and watched out the window as he zoomed out of the ditch and back onto the highway. As he pulled onto the shoulder and pressed the brake, he heard Eric yell indistinctly.

"Eric!" Donna cried, opening her door.

"We're free!" Fez cried. Jackie turned her head to the back and glanced to see what was going on. Hyde slammed his head on the steering wheel, and punched the dashboard multiple times.

"Shit," he grumbled, voice muffled by the wheel.

"There's kitty litter _everywhere_!"

* * *

"It is cold," Fez whined an hour later.

Hyde relaxed on the leather couch, his feet were on the middle seat, and Jackie sat across from him. Fez sat in between them on the floor, wrapped in a blanket. Hyde glanced up from his magazine and was confused. They had a fire going, it was really warm. Yet he looked down and saw Fez's teeth chattering from lack of warmth and he grimaced.

Standing up, he set his magazine on the puffy arm rest and walked around Fez, to the cabinet in the living room.

"I know just what'll warm you right up," Hyde mumbled, grabbing the bottle of Amaretto. Jackie turned to him, at first wondering what he grabbed, then her eyes widened as he twisted the cap of the bottle off. "It's Amaretto," he handed it to Fez, who turned the bottle in observation, then shrugged his shoulders. Hyde watched as his friend took a large sip, and a smile spread across his face.

"Mm liquid candy!" Fez chirped, Jackie snapped her head to face Hyde, and pointed down at Fez angrily. Hyde just shrugged his shoulders and went back to reading his magazine. He felt the couch shift and out of the corner of his eye, watched Jackie walk away from him and Hyde sighed softly. He didn't know how he could have pissed her off by giving Fez alcohol, yet there she went, in a huff.

"Uh... Fez..." Hyde began, checking on Fez who had guzzled nearly half of the bottle by now. "That's enough, give me the-"

"My liquid candy, you sonofabitch!" Fez roared, Hyde quickly stood up and retreated into the kitchen, away from Fez. He shook his head, and slid into the kitchen, the red socks glided like ice skates on the wooden floor.

"Hey, Jackie," Hyde asked, opening the fridge, searching. "Do you have any beer?" he scoured passed the food, the water, and soda, for any beer. He grinned when finding three six packs in the very back, and tugged one out of its plastic ring. As he shut the refrigerator door, he cracked open the tab, and gulped the beer.  
"You answered the question yourself," she mumbled, her eyes shifting across the room uncertainly. "Steven, I just want to know... why did you grab me?" Hyde sighed softly and set the can on the counter, and looked at Jackie, bare eyed.

"I didn't want you to get hurt," he answered honestly, which physically shocked her. He watched her body perk and her head snapped in awe to face him. Her lips were parted in shock, and her eyes were widened from his answer. Was it that shocking? Hyde half smiled at her and sighed softly. "Listen, I'd do it for any chick, well, probably. And if it were Forman, or Fez, or... Kelso I'd try to push 'em out of the way. It's wasn't just for you, well in this case, yes, but... y'know." She just gawked at him more and he groaned, taking another large gulp of his beer.

"That's the most I have ever heard you talk," Jackie commented, taking a sip of wine from her crystal glass. "You're too self-sacrificing, Steven," she mumbled, eyes lowered to the ground. "What hurts though, is Michael wouldn't have done that, and..."

"You don't know that," Hyde mumbled, she scoffed and took a larger sip of her wine, eyes closed. He could see droplets fall from between her wet eyelashes, yet he didn't say a word. He didn't know what to do. Hyde just stared momentarily at the heartbroken girl in front of him and grimaced. "Jackie, just... try to forget about him tonight, just relax, and... have fun," she glanced up at Hyde through blurry eyes and he sighed sadly. He was seriously going to kick Kelso's ass, she looked miserable.

"So... uh... are Eric and Donna still-"

"They're in the master bedroom," Jackie murmured weakly, wiping her eyes with her tiny hands. Hyde glanced towards the floor and drank more of his beer, unsure of what to say. Hyde turned and walked back into the living room, leaving Jackie in the kitchen. First he feels bad for Jackie because Kelso's a moron, and now he felt bad because the girl he wanted more than anything was sucking face with his best friend in the other room. As he curled up on the couch again, he paid no mind to Fez, who had begun to strip off his clothing, and flipped open his MAD magazine.

"Steven,"

"Don't interrupt _'Spy vs. Spy_,'" Hyde mumbled, flipping the page to finish the comic. He jumped, startled when feeling a cold hand on his arm and he glanced up at Jackie, who sat down next to him. He sighed and hesitantly closed his magazine.

"Are you okay?" Hyde scoffed and tried to pull away from Jackie's touch, yet she held on.

"About what?" he grumbled, finally giving her full attention.

"About Eric and Donna," She half whispered, though the only other person in the room was beyond wasted. Hyde's eyes shifted nervously to his sunglasses that lay on the table, he needed those. Now.

"Does it even matter?" He finally asked, very softly. Jackie opened her mouth to answer, yet he finally tore her hand from his arm and picked up his magazine and sunglasses. "Look, stop worrying about me, Jackie. You should be worrying about Kelso and his next whore." He hissed, sunglasses hiding his instant guilt. He watched as she turned away from him, shoulders shaking from his insult. That was just cruel, he knew it was, yet he couldn't stop the words from coming out. He didn't want to talk about him and he gets harsh when cornered; that's just who he was. And Jackie had to learn to stay out of his business.

His eyes turned away from the sobbing mess that Jackie had become and back to his comic. Yet he found no interest in the humorous drawings, he felt like shit for hurting Jackie. That was a real low blow, especially for all that he had done to stand up for her.

"I am a winter nymph!" Hyde glanced around, looking for Fez, and caught the dark-skinned boy running nearly naked to the door, flapping his arms. The oak door slammed and he sighed heavily, and slammed his forehead into his palm. This night was fucked up.

As Hyde sat in his own little hell, Jackie's hell started to grow louder. With each breath, her wails turned more and more cat-like and depressing. It was his fault and yet he was just sitting there, feeling sorry for himself. Hyde sighed softly and looked up.

"J-" He was interrupted by the door to the bedroom opening, showing a very flustered couple. Hyde glanced up and stared incredulously at a wrinkled clothed Eric and a wild haired Donna. Eric glared angrily at Hyde and stomped closer to the two unhappy couple on the couch.

"Why is Jackie crying?" Donna asked, voice slightly shaky. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and sighed softly. Eric groaned in frustration and was joined by Donna. "All you're doing is sitting here reading- wait, where's Fez?"

"He said something about being a winter nymph-"

"Hyde! Seriously, what the hell, man? Okay, either go and look for Fez, or console Jackie, man, 'cause I can't do both." Eric growled, Hyde stood up and sighed.

"Fine, I'll take Donna-" Eric narrowed his eyes at Hyde and shook his head.

"Jackie!"

"Yeah, yeah, I meant Jackie, sorry..." Hyde mumbled, turning to the sobbing girl. Eric rolled his eyes and Hyde watched as the older boy stormed to the door and slammed it furiously as he went to search for Fez.

"Looks like it's just us two..." Hyde slurred and then placed his arm on Donna's shoulder, a little tipsy. Donna scoffed and shoved Hyde's arm off of her, and glared at him.

"Hyde, you're such a jerk sometimes, do you know that?" She barked, brown eyes glowing with anger.

"I know, I'm just goofing around!"

"No, you're not! I'm here with Eric, Eric, not you. Just get that through your head!" Hyde raised his head to the ceiling and rubbed his forehead in frustration.

"I know, okay I know. Look, do you think I like hitting on my best friend's girlfriend? I don't. But I look at you," he began, shaking his head as he stared at her. "I mean, look at you," he murmured, staring right into her eyes.

_'What are you doing, man? What the fuck are you doing?' _He yelled at himself as he continued to lock eyes with her.  
"Well, you better" Donna mumbled, breaking the gaze. Without thinking, Hyde placed his hand on her cheek, and pressed his lips against hers in the kiss he had wanted to give her for so long. He had done it. He had crossed the line. He knew he had while he kissed her, and yet he couldn't stop. At first, he felt her lips kiss him back, yet suddenly, he felt a sharp pain across his left cheek. Donna had slapped him. As he pulled away and stared at her in shock, she was practically seething with anger and he felt sick to his stomach.

"Donna, I-" but she wouldn't hear it. He knew she wouldn't. He watched, his heart dissolving and poisoning him as she stomped to the bedroom, shaking.

'_What the fuck did I just do?'_ he asked himself in disgust. He felt a pair of eyes on him and he turned to Jackie, who was staring in complete horror.

"Did you just do that?" She asked him through her tears, she began to stand up, and he shook his head, feeling completely disoriented. That was it. He had blown it. Donna was gone, man, and he had fucking blown it into millions of pieces. This was all on him. "Steven..." she reached out a hand that he would have taken, if it weren't for his stomach. "You're not okay," she whimpered, he felt her hand on his arm once again and he took a deep breath, his stomach reeling. His head was swimming with nausea and as the oak door opened, his stomach flipped.

"Michael!" Was all he heard before he zipped to the bathroom and slammed the door shut. Without turning the light on, he blindly fell on the floor and reached out his hand to find the toilet. Feeling the porcelain, he lowered his head into the bowl and spilled his guts; literally. He made himself sick, it wasn't the alcohol.

_'Did I actually kiss Donna like that? What the fuck have I done?'_ he thought, head pounding as he retched in the dark. His skin was crawling and clammy with disgust, and he shook violently. His throat burned as he hung his head; he deserved this. He deserved hell for what he did. That's what he got for letting his emotions play through all these years. It was built up and suddenly he just burst and couldn't control it. Hyde couldn't handle emotions, they made him act irrationally, like tonight.

"And now I've lost Donna," Hyde whispered darkly, leaning against the wall of the bathroom.

* * *

Hyde stared at the snow that covered the first stair leading to the front porch of the cabin. He had abandoned his sleeping bag until he knew both Eric and Donna were sleeping, he was sick of their making out and boyfriend-girlfriend talk. And he didn't want to hear Fez throw up from the Amaretto. He had nowhere else to go to be alone, so he found solace in the winter night.

He shivered and brushed off a thin layer of snow that had gathered on his light hoodie and stared in the dark night. Now that Kelso was here, he and Jackie seemed to have made up, so he didn't have her to talk to, which actually wasn't that bad. Fez was going to have a killer hangover so he didn't want to be around that, and Eric and Donna were together, so there was no way in hell he was going to talk to either of them. He sighed heavily and traced his index finger on the snow that lay on the railing of the front porch; he watched the clusters that had congealed together fall and splat into the large blanket below. For the first time ever, he wished he were a fan of winter. So he could walk in the cold and lay down and not be afraid of what was to come. Of course, he didn't want to die. This was just his angry-at-self mode talking, yet still, he was sick of everything about him.

_'Forman is one of my best friends, I can't dog him, hell, Donna doesn't even want me. Or it doesn't seem like she does, at least. God damn, I'm like Fez. I've got no one. Well unlike him, I don't want anyone. Donna was just a waste of my time, and I was blinded by our closeness. I don't want her. Dammit, I don't. I don't want anyone. I just want to be alone.'_ But when he thought about his future, he didn't want to be alone; he didn't want to be a bitter man who hated everyone. Yet by how his life was now, it seemed that was his best option. He didn't want kids or a nagging wife in a quiet home. He didn't want that kind of life, he just... he didn't want to be alone. A chick who didn't care about getting married or engaged would be good. Maybe a dog, too. In a small apartment where they didn't have to pay utilities or anything. That would be nice. It would be better than being alone and cruel, anyway.

But he was unwanted. His mom hated him, she would rather see him murdered than breathing. Yeah, he had friends, but would they stick around? Donna didn't want him like that, which didn't surprise him one bit. But there was no one. He didn't know of anyone who wanted him. And it was all the reason to make him cruel and bitter.

"Steven?" Hyde perked at the sound of his name, and turned around. He hadn't noticed that the porch light had been turned on or the fact that anyone had walked out onto the porch. He found Jackie wearing only a camisole and a pair of thin pajama pants, with a pair of fluffy pink slippers.

"Jackie what are you doing?"

"I could ask the same of you," She responded with the same tone, Hyde smiled at her response. "I woke up and saw someone standing out here and freaked out, so I decided to come see who it was."

"And you didn't bring a baseball bat? Or scream?" Hyde teased, she placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes.

"Just because I'm small doesn't mean I'm not tough!" She squeaked, Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders at the dark haired girl standing next to him.

"So you and _Michael_?" Hyde asked, mocking her tone when calling Kelso. She rolled her eyes and looked at him.

"I don't know," she mumbled honestly, "I'm scared. What if you're right? What if he keeps on cheating? I love him, Steven, and I just have a feeling that I'll keep taking him back every time he kisses a girl... or worse." Hyde sighed softly and gazed at Jackie.

"Would you really go back to him every damn time?" Hyde asked her, looking her dead in the eye, no sunglasses. "Would you lower yourself to that? I've seen that kind of lifestyle, man, and trust me, you don't want that, doll." Jackie tilted her head, curious.

"What do you mean 'lifestyle'?" Jackie asked, beginning to shiver, yet she tried to hide it. Hyde sighed softly and smiled sadly at her.

"Lifestyle as in... how people with those kind of families live, man. They let them completely fuck up their lives and yet they still for some reason love them. Like this chick I know, her names Molly, sweet lady. She has like five kids, and her husbands a real jerk, and... why am I even telling you this?" He asked suddenly. Jackie just blinked.

"Continue," she ordered, "or I'll kick you." He didn't understand her tactic. Of all people he didn't get why Jackie wanted him to talk. He just knew her kicks were painful, he had experienced many of them in his lifetime of knowing her. But he didn't get that she was trying to get him to talk, to open up rather than keep everything in. It was her way of letting two people vent, and she could tell Hyde really needed to. Yet, he didn't get that.

"Well, Molly's one of my mom's friends, surprisingly, and her husband is... really close with my mom. Not like that, but... yeah. And whenever I see Molly, she looks about ready to just die. And not saying Kelso would be like that, but if you let people walk all over you, it could happen."

"You are really cynical and paranoid." Hyde narrowed his eyes at Jackie.

"No I'm not." He argued.

"What I don't get is we hate each other, but why are you looking out for me, Steven?"

"Why are you calling me Steven?" Hyde asked.

"Don't distract me, _Steven_!"

"Well you were calling me Hyde earlier, so what's with the Steven business? I don't like it."

"Well I don't like you calling me a tick either, but I deal with it. So deal with it!"

"I've only called you a tick twice!"

"Well..." at that, Jackie started to giggle hysterically. Hyde just watched her with amused eyes and couldn't help himself either. He burst out laughing and shook his head, wondering what the hell just happened. As the two laughed, Hyde looked at Jackie and something dawned on him, that could start the apocalypse; Jackie wasn't that bad. He was actually having a decent conversation with her and it wasn't scary. Well the conversation wasn't scary. The only terrifying thing about it was that he wasn't scared.

"Jackie," Hyde began as he began to calm his laughter, her giggles died down to a quiet chortle. Her blue and green eyes turned to look up at him, and he saw the happiness in her eyes. He wondered if his own reflected that, or if they had the same vacant emptiness. "Why are we getting along?" he finally asked, she grew quiet and pensive as she thought of an answer.

"We always were sort of nice to each other, in our own way, if you think about it. And I don't hate you, Steven," she murmured, teeth chattering madly.

"Cool," he mumbled, his lips raised in a half smile.

"You don't hate me, do you?" Hyde lowered his eyes at her question and had to think about that. He couldn't stand her, well until tonight. He didn't like her bitchiness or her bossiness or anything about her. But he didn't not like her. Was that true?

"Nah," he replied, "you're okay," she grinned at his response and wrapped her arms around him in a hug. He stiffened from her embrace and hesitantly patted her shoulder. "Okay..." he murmured awkwardly, nervous.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, he could feel her violently tremble, "I'm freezing." Hyde sighed softly and slowly and unwillingly held her close to him. He could feel her smile as he held her to him. With her still close to him he walked her to the door and opened it with his left hand. "That was very nice of you, Steven," she whispered softly as they both entered the cabin. He chuckled quietly and shrugged his shoulders.

"I can be nice on occasion," he responded, she just looked up at him and shook her head.

"Not on occasion, no. When you choose to be, and when you choose to be, you're very sweet." She whispered, then slowly walked to the bedroom, not once glancing behind her. He watched her tip toe through the dark cabin until he couldn't see her, and just gawked.

_'I am not sweet,'_ he thought, as he made his way to the back of the couch,where he had laid his sleeping bag. Burrowing in the thick polyester, he closed his eyes and sighed as he felt his body practically thaw from the sudden warmth. Yet as he thought of Jackie's words, he smiled. Someone actually thought he was sweet. And at that, for the first time he fell asleep with a smile on his face.


	43. Congratulations

_**Author's Note: Sorry it's taken so long for me to update! I've been quite busy and I've been suffering writers block. :( This chapter is another short one but I hope it's enjoyable. **_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**First Date**_

* * *

_Is that seat taken? Congratulations. Would you like to take a walk with me? My mind it kind of goes fast, I'll try to slow it down for you. I think I'd love to take a drive. I want to give you something I've been wanting to give to you for years; my heart. My heart, my pain won't cover up; you left me. My heart can't take this cover up; you left me. I came to see the light in my best friend You seemed as happy as you'd ever been. My chance of being open was broken and now you're Mrs. Him. My words they don't come out right, but I'll try to say I'm happy for you. I think I'm going to take that drive. I want to give you something I've wanted to give to you for years; my heart. And I can't change this, I can never take it back. But now I can't change your mind. Just make it go away, make it go away._

_Stupid Forman. Stupid Donna. Stupid Valentine's Day. _

Hyde had plans with Donna. They were supposed to go study at the frickin' library. It was supposed to be him and Donna, but Eric was just an ass who had to be with Donna at all times. Of course she'd choose The Vineyard over the library, but come on, he asked first! He hadn't known it was Valentine's Day, if he had known he would have been preoccupied with other things rather than going to the library with Donna. Like his rants on how Valentine's Day isn't really a holiday; just a day that corporations all across America jack their prices up beyond the normal price so that people would buy ridiculous and petty gifts and presents for short term lovers. Or visiting Chris. But he hadn't known it was damn Valentine's Day, which is why he asked Donna.

Maybe he _did_ have an ulterior motive. Maybe he was going to tell her that he liked her. And maybe he was going to ask if she liked him back; it seemed like she did. But he wasn't going to let her know that until they got there. But now his shot was completely ruined because of God damn Forman and his over-protectiveness. Now he was going to be stuck with Fez on Valentines Day; not that that was a bad thing. He just would prefer being with Donna. But here he was, playing basketball with Fez, and winning the one on one game by five points.

As he swished another lay up, the basketball bounced once off the ground and his right hand began to dribble it as Hyde ran back to the 'three point line.' Hyde felt Fez's eyes on him as he turned and aimed once more at the basketball hoop.

"So, what do you wanna do?" Fez asked, Hyde sighed softly as the ball bounced quickly back to him.

"I don't know, man, what do you wanna do?" Hyde asked slightly breathlessly as he shrugged his shoulders. He watched as Fez's face lit up and Hyde's stomach dropped; anything that Fez seemed suddenly happy about made Hyde very apprehensive.

"I know! Let's go to The Hub! I have my eye on this plump girl," Hyde chuckled softly and shrugged his shoulders apathetically. That didn't really sound good to him, mostly he just wanted to be alone. Maybe go back home and play guitar, maybe walk the streets endlessly. Or crash in the basement after smoking himself into oblivion.

"Sounds good, man, but I'll pass," he mumbled quietly, eyes focused on the ground. He let the ball roll on the driveway as he pocketed his hands.

"Oh, poor Hyde," Fez replied, staring at him still. Hyde scoffed and glanced up at him.

"What?" he grumbled.

"You love Donna and she is with your good friend, Eric," Fez replied, he sighed heavily and bit the inside of his cheek.

"And?" So what if he had feelings for Donna? He didn't love her. He knew he wasn't good for her but he didn't understand why he couldn't let her go. He didn't understand why it had to hurt so much.

"And it's the oldest story in the book, and a sad one, at that," Fez replied sadly, empathizing with Hyde. He sort of knew what it was like, after all he had the hots for Jackie. Hyde grimaced.

"You know what, man?" Hyde finally burst, "I had a chance with her. And I didn't take it. And once Forman gives her that ring man, they're going out. And it would be really scummy to hit on her then. Not that I wouldn't do it, it'd just be really scummy!" But he knew that once Forman did give her that ring, he would back off. There would be no point. He didn't want to lose two of his closest friends because of his unrequited feelings. "If you don't tell Donna how you feel, then you will regret it." Fez was right. If he didn't at least tell Donna then he knew he didn't have a shot with her. He had never fully told her his feelings; he came close but it never slipped out. And if he kept quiet he'd watch the one good thing in his life slip away from him, just like everything else. And he didn't want that. Also, if he told her and she declined, then at least he could say he had the balls to ask. At least he'd know a definite answer than sitting by himself in the future as he drank away his miseries and ask himself 'what if?'

"I'm going to the Vineyard." Hyde finally decided, his stomach full of knots and his throat tight. He had to. It was wrong but he had to just say it. He had to get his feelings out before it was too late.

"Good for you!" Fez exclaimed with a broad grin that quickly faltered, "Oh, just don't tell Eric what I said because I really like his basement." Hyde smirked and nodded at Fez, who looked quite proud of himself. Hyde was thankful for the guy; if there had been no Fez, he wouldn't be going to the Vineyard. He'd just be sitting there, throwing a ball around. He'd have to thank him later.

Was this a good idea? Was going to The Vineyard to confess his attraction the best thing? No, but when else could he do it? He couldn't wait until Forman and Donna were official; he had to let it be known before. He wasn't much of a fan for it but what else could he do? Hyde wasn't going to let this pass by; he had to try. For this; for her. But as he walked his mind kept reeling. Was this the right thing to do? Could he stand himself if he ruined their date? Yes... and yes, Hyde decided this as he trudged along the icy sidewalk.

Hyde silently walked the eight blocked to his house. The walk from the Forman's house to The Vineyard was much too long, as he knew from the past, and by the time he got there, Eric and Donna would be long gone. But there was more that kept him from walking along to the fancy restaurant; yet he wouldn't let himself think of that. Not yet.

Though he wasn't exactly sure of Edna's whereabouts, he figured she would be home with a slew of drunken horny guys. So it would be okay for him to take the car.

Each step meant he was closer to the car. Being closer to the car would take him to Donna. He'd share his feelings and drop his guard in hopes that it was worth it. Was it worth it? He had no clue; it just had to be done. Hyde wouldn't beat himself up if he knew a definite answer. He'd just shrug it off with a 'whatever' and hopefully forget about it. But if he was silent, if he remained 'the guy who never tried' he'd always wonder. Or worse; he may never get over her, which would turn out really ugly.

_'I can't do this anymore,'_ Hyde thought as he walked along the quiet block. Half the time Donna seemed to flirt with him, then she'd... well be a total bitch. He was sick of being a puppet, he was his own man; he wasn't ever going to be tugged around by any chick. Even if she was real foxy.

Ten minutes later, Hyde stared at his house. The beat up, rusty station wagon sat in the driveway. However, there were no lights on. Without checking with Edna, he walked around to the driver's side of the car. The door groaned woefully as he opened it, which made him scowl in annoyance. He quickly climbed into the rough carpet-like seat and slammed the door. As he turned the ignition, then engine rattled and panted as it fought to start.

"Come on, dammit!" Hyde growled, pumping his foot on the gas pedal as the car continued to wheeze. Once the station wagon rumbled to life, he angrily sped out of the driveway and drove at least fifty miles an hour through the neighborhood streets. The radio blared The Rolling Stones as he zipped across town, ignoring stop signs and red lights.

Hyde wouldn't allow himself to think. If he thought about what he was going to do, then he'd turn right around, pick up Fez and go to Kenosha to find slutty chicks. He knew he had to do this, his heart screamed for this, but his head was the opponent. Hyde never let his heart win; hif he had, things would b ea lot different. He couldn't let his doubting mind get in the way of this.

As Hyde parked in the lot of The Vineyard, his heart sank. He knew what was in there, other than Donna on a date with his best friend. He hadn't been here since his mom left him at the mall. Since they ate here; with Chris. 'Stop!' Hyde thought to himself angrily as he sat in his car, staring in the window. He couldn't be plagued by Chris. He wouldn't let his mind permeate with the thoughts of his little brother. Not yet. He had to force his thoughts to Donna; go in there, and tell her how he feels. It wouldn't be that hard.

Taking a deep breath, Hyde shut off the car and slammed the creaky door shut. His eyes remained lowered to the ground as he walked up to the stairs that lead to the entrance. He could do this; it was possible.

Pocketing his fists, Hyde pushed his side against the door and dragged himself inside the warm restaurant. His stomach twisted in nervousness as he walked up to the front podium, where a waitress stood, staring at him.

"Excuse me," Hyde began as he made his way up to the girl in her mid twenties. "Could you tell me if anyone with the reservation for Forman came in?" He asked. His heart was pounding so loudly in his head that he could barely hear the woman as she responded. He watched her point to the left and he nodded, unable to say anything as he walked away from the waitress.

Hyde took a deep breath and finally glanced up from his feet, and found Donna right away, alone. She wore a grin on her face and her eyes lit up as she spotted him. Hyde sighed softly as she hit a guy next to her and started yelling about his presence.

_'Great,'_ he thought as he slowly neared the table, _'she's drunk... perfect.'_ This was surely going to go to hell.

Hyde pulled back the empty chair and sat down. Donna stared at him with hazy eyes and he folded his hands in nervousness; this was pretty much useless.

"Hey Donna," he mumbled, "uh... where's Forman?" She raised her hand and pointed behind her.

"Coffee," she answered with a goofy smile pulling at her lips.

_'It's now or never,'_ Hyde told himself as he took off his sunglasses. He took a deep breath as he leaned in closer to Donna, who just looked at him curiously.

"Okay, look, I'm just gonna say this, all right?" Donna didn't even blink. "Donna, I have feelings for you, and I think that you have feelings for me. And Forman's gonna give you his ring and I hope that before you take it you'll think about-"

"Beep!" Donna poked his nose with his index finger and he slumped his shoulders in defeat. Of all the times he could have told her, she was drunk. This was absolutely pointless. Hyde shook his head and stared at Donna as she grabbed his sunglasses from the table and slid them on her nose.

"Hey Eric, Hyde's here! Heidi, Heidi, Heidi, Heidi!" Donna slurred loudly as she cried out. Hyde turned his head and caught the lethal glare Eric was sending him. He quickly stood up out of the seat, ready to bolt.

"We're on a date here!" Eric growled, Hyde clenched his fist and scowled as he glowered angrily at Eric.

"Yeah, man, well you shouldn't because we're supposed to be at the library!"

"Hyde, if she wanted to be at the library, then she'd be at the library!" Hyde's jaw was tight as he stood stiffened, staring straight into the eyes of Eric who appeared just as angry.

"Oh my God!' Donna gasped, hand covering her mouth.

"Oh my God, wait, what do you mean by 'oh my God'?" Donna shakily stood up, the chair bumped against the leg of the table.

"Oh my God!" Her eyes bugged and she turned and ran towards the bathroom, her hand clasped over her mouth as she darted towards the restroom.

"Oh my God," Eric mumbled in disbelief, "oh my God." This time his voice was louder. "Look, when my date is done puking, you better not be here!" Hyde sighed softly as Eric took off after Donna.

This had gone farther than hell. He shouldn't have even come here, then Eric wouldn't be pissed at him and Donna wouldn't know. Then again she wouldn't remember any of this probably, which would definitely be for the best. This is exactly why he didn't 'follow his heart.' It was worthless because he always got trampled on. Everything always blew up in a crazy hell fire that he just wanted to avoid. Love, or being with a chick, wasn't worth it for him. He didn't need that weight. He didn't need Donna.

Hyde glanced up as a waiter passed by him; he glanced down at the plate of chicken, and smirked.

"Excuse me," he called, the waiter walked up to him quickly. "Hi, could I get this in a doggie bag please?" He smiled as the waiter nodded, "Thanks, oh, and uh... I'm in a hurry!"

* * *

An hour later, Hyde sat in the basement with Fez and Kelso, who were watching him roll a joint. As soon as he arrived back at the Forman's from cruising the streets, he ran down to the basement and without saying a word pulled up the table for a circle. Kelso and Fez didn't mind; Fez had been alone, and Kelso had a rough night with Jackie (like usual) so they were rather looking forward to the circle time.

"So, Hyde," Fez began as he watched the teen in question inhale the near perfectly rolled joint. "How did it go at The Vineyard?"

"What were you doin' at The Vineyard?" Kelso asked, already munching on a bag of chips. Hyde shook his head as he exhaled the large hit and passed the still burning stick to Kelso.

"I got some chicken," Hyde replied, not looking at Fez as he held up the doggie bag. As soon as Fez saw the seasoned chicken, Hyde could tell (thankfully) that Fez's questions about Donna and Hyde's conversation were forgotten; for now.

"Alright!" Kelso cried, "their chicken is the best!"

"That's probably all you've ever gotten there, am I right?" Fez asked after undergoing a small fit of coughs. Kelso gasped in offense and glared at Fez who just smiled smugly at him. The insult was quickly forgiven as they exchanged the joint.

While they took their hits from the roll, Hyde lit the two sticks of incense to hide the permeating pot smoke that had already created a haze in the room. He also pulled his pipe and baggie out of the paper sack and filled the metal pipe with the green herb.

"So Eric was back when I got here, he should be down here soon," Kelso said, Hyde nodded nonchalantly, yet he was really extremely nervous upon seeing Forman. Was he angry about him 'ruining their date?' Would he be angry when he saw that he had taken his chicken?

"Fez, hand me that chicken," Hyde said.

"This is weird! Fez cried, taking a hit, then a bite of the poultry. "They taste the same!"

"Everything tastes like chicken, Fez," Kelso replied, "I mean frog legs, raccoon, turkey, chicken... it all tastes the same. What if they're all the same animals?" Hyde just stared at Kelso cautiously.

"When have you had frog legs or raccoon?" He asked in a concerned voice.

"I haven't! I've just heard people say they taste the same."

"In my country, frog legs are a luxury!"

"So are pants, I bet," Hyde replied, making Kelso laugh and Fez look down, hurt. He heard the door from the basement stairs open yet he ignored it as they continued to talk about Fez's country.

"Say the name of your country again, Fez, it always makes me laugh!" Kelso cried.

"I've never said the name of my country, just the capital." Fez replied, which made Kelso nod. "And that is Oranjestad." To Hyde's confusion, Kelso started laughing hysterically.

"Oranjestad, it sounds like orange." Even Hyde chuckled at that.

"Hey guys," Eric called as he hopped down from the last two stairs. He leaped onto the couch next to Hyde who immediately handed him the pipe.

"How was your date with Donna, Eric?" Fez asked, Eric sighed and shrugged his shoulders as he chuckled softly.

"Good... it was... good," he said hesitantly, eyes darting over the other three. Hyde held the piece of chicken in his hand as he glanced over to Eric.

"So... Forman man, I'm sorry about tonight with Donna..." he paused, taking a bite out of the chicken leg. "And for taking your dinner. So... are we cool, man?" Eric chuckled.

"Yeah man, we've gotta be. Look, we've been friends since kindergarten, no girl is gonna come between us." Hyde smirked.

"That's great, man. So, if Donna ever breaks up with you and starts dating me, are we still friends?" Like that would ever happen. Eric started laughing and grabbed the chicken from Hyde much to his disappointment.

"No," Eric finally answered solemnly.

"Tonight I learned that there's a price to be paid for doin' it. She said forever man! And I think that she meant it!" Hyde and Eric glanced at each other and rolled their eyes.

"The inside of my mouth feels like cotton, as if cotton was in my mouth!"  
"Kelso, man, women are like muffins, okay? And once you've had a muffin, man, you will put up with anything to have another muffin! And they know that, and now she really owns you, man!" Eric turned to face him with the chicken bone in his hand.

"Hyde, you sure know a lot about women, but I mean, you've never really had a steady girlfriend. So, what's that all about?" Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll tell you what that's all about, Forman. My mind is pure, man! I don't fall victim tot he female race. I'm here, sans girlfriend, to help you guys out."

"Then I have a question, Hyde." Fez chirped, getting Hyde's attention, he turned to Fez, and nodded.

"How much masturbation is too much?" He grinned.

"No such thing as too much, Fez."

* * *

_**Author's Note: There will be a part two that will be shorter but was supposed to be a part of this chapter, but it's better as a separate, shorter chapter. This chapter was about the episode, the next will be about the second half of this chapter... which is going to focus on Chris and Edna. So look for that in the next couple of days. **_

_**Love, **_

_**Angie.**_


	44. Everything Ends

_**Author's Note: This is part two of the Valentine's Day set. This is all original with some references to First Date and such, but this one is for what I didn't include last chapter. It's slightly necessary but it wouldn't have any relevance to The First Date, so I decided to post it in its own chapter. Of course, you don't mind. :) The next episode I will be writing on is "Prom Night" (is very excited.) Hope you enjoy this one!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: I was bored the past couple of days so I made a timeline collage for each of the gang. Like the one I did for Hyde a long time ago. I posted the links to each photo/collage in the reviews section, so you should definitely check it out! My favorite was Kelso/Ashton's because I only used one picture that wasn't him, the rest are all him :D. Let me know what you think of each :)**_

_

* * *

_

_You are wrong, fucked, and overrated; I think I'm gonna be sick and it's your fault. This is the end of everything, you are the end of everything. I haven't slept since I woke up, and found my whole life was a lie. This is the end of everything, you are the end of everything. Shallow skin, I can paint with pain, I mark the trails on my arms with your disdain. Everyday it's the same - I love, you hate. But I guess I don't care any more... Fix my problems with the blade, while my eyes turn from blue to gray. God, the worst thing happened to me today; but I guess I don't care anymore... My flaws are the only thing left that's pure. Can't really live, can't really endure. Everything I see reminds me of her, God I wish I didn't care anymore. The more I touch, the less I feel, I'm lying to myself that it's not real. Why is everybody making such a big fucking deal? I'm never gonna care anymore. What the hell am I doing? Is there anyone left in my life? What the fuck was I thinking? Anybody want to tell me I'm fine? Where the hell am I going? Do I even need a reason to hide?  
._

_._

_The shrill wail of the crying infant awakened Hyde. In a half-asleep state, he sluggishly pulled the dingy sheet and ratty blanket off of his body. Standing up from the mattress, he dragged his exhausted self over to the other side of the room. The large crib was less than five steps from his own bed. He peered into the bassinet with bleary eyes and watched the baby squirm as he cried._

"_Chris, I already fed you," Hyde whined as he ran his hands through his tangled mess of curls in frustration. The baby's wails only grew louder, much to Hyde's annoyance. His mom had told him that sometimes babies just cried for no reason; which had to be Chris's case. He was fed, his diaper was clean, he had been burped before going to sleep. Hyde had absolutely no idea what he was going to do, and his mom was gone for the night._

_Hyde sighed in frustration and picked up the weeping one month old. Chris was warm and pudgy- he seemed content. So why was he crying?_

_As Hyde cradled Chris he gently rocked his arms and hushed him. He hadn't even noticed the short amount of time it took for Chris to fall back asleep. All he paid attention to was the quiet; how Chris went from crying to whimpering, then cooing and finally snoring. _

"_It's okay, Chris," Hyde whispered as he gently tucked the month old baby back in his crib. "I'm right here, always."_

The echoes of his brother's wails rang throughout Hyde's silent bedroom. The sixteen year old sat on his broken mattress, his vacant eyes focused on the spot where Chris's crib had been placed. His face was blank and showed no signs of emotion, and his sunglasses were placed carelessly on the trashed floor.

He had put off his reminiscent thoughts tonight; he had to focus on Donna (though that deemed useless.) But now as he sat alone in his dark room minus the street light glowing in from the window, he was wide awake way passed two in the morning, his mind diving to the past, to Chris.

In all honesty, Hyde hadn't thought poorly about the death. He hadn't blamed himself in quite some time and didn't dwell on the matter. Sure it hurt like hell whenever he thought about Chris. He missed his little brother and regretted his every decision that night. He always wondered the "what ifs." But over the past couple of years, his blaming had shifted from himself to Edna. He knew he did all that was in his power to save Chris, and though it didn't turn out right, it wasn't his fault.

If it weren't for Edna, Chris would be alive, and the two of them would be living with their grandparents. He would be happy and maybe he would actually try and give a damn about things. If it weren't for Edna, he might have actually had a future and a chance at making a name for himself. He could have been inspired and bright.

Edna. The fucking bitch hadn't been home all damn night even though the car was parked in its spot. She left her whiskey bottles all over the living room as well as her empty syringes speckled with blood. Her purse was hanging on the living room closet door handle. He had no clue how she left; maybe with another guy, or by walking, but she was gone.

At the thought of his mother, Hyde's fist subconsciously clenched in anger. He woke from his daze from the sharp digging of his jagged nails in the palm of his hand, and stared at his balled fist. The soft tick of his alarm clock grabbed his attention and his eyes peered at the numbers that showed; 3:15. He had been sitting there for over an hour, just sitting and staring in the complete silence.

Hyde sighed softly and unclenched his fingers as he stood up. His eyes stung with exhaustion as he started to drag his body to the dresser he made in shop class. He knelt down and pulled open the last drawer, and pushed back the band t-shirts. He stared at the box his grandpa had made him and sighed as he took off his necklace with the key and unlocked the wooden box.

As his hand began to lift the lid, a loud bang was heard outside of his room. He startled and his head shot up in alert. He quickly shoved the box back into his drawer and hit it underneath his clothes, then slammed the wooden drawer shut as he sprinted to his bedroom door. Hyde walked out of his room and held his breath in apprehension as to what he would be faced with.

"Ma?" Hyde asked, staring at the frail woman crumpled on the floor in front of the front door. Her shoulders shook with violent sobs as she cried and Hyde froze, unsure of what to do. He took a step back and sighed softly as he stared at his mom breaking down.

"Steven, I saw him," Edna cried as she looked up at him, her dull blue eyes blood shot and puffy. Hyde felt his stomach squirm at her words and her madness.

"Saw who?" Hyde asked, she shook her head then buried her face in her hands as she wept.

"Ma, what all did you take? How much crank did you do?" Hyde asked as he glanced over at the pile of syringes that she never threw away.

"Does it matter, I saw him, I saw him, Steven. I SAW HIM!"

"What were you doing?" Edna shook her head and rested her head on his shoulder. Hyde stiffened from the closeness and wanted so badly to run.

"Walking, I went to the mall to get you a present, and then I left, and walked." Hyde just stared at Edna in disbelief as she quivered beside him; she was saying what happened to him all those years ago.

"You're fucking crazy, ma, what the hell are you talking about?" Hyde spat as he glared at her. Edna shook her head and held him close to her.

"I'm a horrible person, Steven, I'm a horrible mother. You hate me, everyone hates me, I hate me."  
"Mom..." Hyde trailed off, he couldn't lie; everything she said was true. She was horrible and everyone hated her, including herself. He wouldn't argue against that.

"Steven, can you take me?" Hyde raised his eyebrows in confusion and just stared at her. "I know you know where it is."

"What are you talking about?" Hyde asked, she gripped hard on his shoulders, her long nails dug into his shirt and scraped his skin.

"Take me to Chris, Steven, please?" She begged as she leaned against his left shoulder, her body trembled as she spoke. Hyde closed his eyes and took a deep breath; he could smell the alcohol from her breath and clothing, and her lack of hygiene. He stared down at his mom and shrugged his shoulders, he was at a loss for words.

"Why?" Hyde finally asked darkly as he backed away once more from Edna. She looked at him, then her arm that she was subconsciously scratching at. Her fingers and hands were blistered and red, her arms had little cuts and sores as well; he hadn't really noticed her deteriorating form before. She was gaunt, a skeleton, with stringy hair that looked nearly gray.

"I have to, Steven, I have to... please... you're a good boy, do as your mom says..." she pleaded, stepping forward, Hyde took a step back. He scowled and looked to the window; the rusting station wagon was in his sight.

"Come on," He growled, shoving his way passed her and to the front door, that he slammed in her face.

_'I don't get it, I don't fucking get it, what is going on in her damn head? She's fucked up, I should take her in, I don't have to deal with this bull shit,'_ Hyde thought angrily as he furiously opened the car door. He started the car just as Edna stumbled out of the house, tears falling down her face. Hyde shook his head and shut the driver's door, he couldn't believe he was actually doing this.

He watched as her hand's shook violently while she tried to close her door and buckle her seat belt. He wasn't sure if she was cold or if it was an effect of the drugs, so he turned up the heat and pulled out of their driveway.

"Watch out!" Edna cried, he slammed on the brakes in response and turned around; he saw nothing. Glaring at Edna, he pulled the gear to drive and sped off.

"What was that about?" He asked, turning up the radio.

"You almost hit that lion," Hyde wrinkled his nose and furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at her incredulously.

"There was no _lion_, you crazy bitch!" He cried, resting his left hand on his knee.

Hyde drove throughout Point Place without saying a word to Edna who was still crying and mumbling to herself. He stayed focused on the road and tried to keep his burning eyes open as he drove. He felt awkward with Edna; she wasn't her usual high self, this was something else... different. Like she wasn't high. But that was absolutely out of the question; she said she saw a lion. Edna was losing it, she was crazy.

He glanced over at his mom and saw she was picking at a scratch on her arm. He knew she was into some weird self-mutilation stuff, he saw her burn herself and cut herself, and he didn't understand it. Why would someone want to hurt themselves? Hyde shook his head and turned back to the street, the five miles to the cemetery seemed so much shorter in a car.

"Why now?" Hyde finally asked, grabbing Edna's attention. She turned to look at him in confusion.  
"What?"

"Why do you want to go now? Why not the year after or any other time? Why now?"

"Well how often did you go, Steven?" Hyde scowled and stared at the long entrance to the cemetery; the iron gates glowed from the February moonlight.

"I've gone too many times to count, ma," Hyde growled, parking the car and shutting off the ignition. Edna stared at him and reached out to grab his arm, he flinched from her momentary touch. He shook his head as he glowered at her, then opened his car door. He walked away from the car and up the long walkway to the entrance, not even caring if Edna was following along behind.

Hyde slipped his hand in between two of the bars and blindly felt for the latched lock. He finally found the end of the horizontal iron lock and pulled it up. In response, the metal door creaked open slowly.

Hesitantly, Hyde waited for Edna by the gates. He wasn't quite sure why he decided to come here in the first place, let alone bring her. Edna was insane; he had no clue what happened to her while she was gone tonight, and he didn't want to find out. Yet he wanted to know what driving to a cemetery at three in the morning make him look like?

By the time Edna neared the gate, Hyde had opened the door and entered the cemetery. His feet dragged over the untouched blanket of snow, his head was bowed low. Hyde shivered as a brutal gust of bitter wind billowed throughout the open air.

"Here," Hyde spoke gruffly a few moments later. He stared down at the small granite headstone and bit his chapped bottom lip.

He could feel the tension between him and Edna as she stood next to him. He didn't understand why she suddenly wanted to visit Chris. It didn't quite make sense to Hyde, in fact it angered him, but he stayed silent. He picked at the ratty cuff of his hooded sweat-shirt as he coughed awkwardly.

His bare eyes shifted to Edna, who appeared to be in a melancholy daze. Her once dull blue eyes were now watery as she gazed woefully at her youngest son's tombstone. Hyde sighed softly.

"I miss him, Steven, I miss him everyday," Edna mumbled, Hyde glanced over at her and gave a small nod.

"Yep..." He trailed off flatly. He wasn't sure what to say. Edna's sudden openness was freaking him out. He didn't want to be with her; he didn't want to see her break down and start crying. He didn't want to deal with this.

All of the things he had felt since Chris's death were screaming through his head, raging from what Edna had said. She hadn't seem to give a damn about Chris, she just wanted Hyde to be the one who died instead. He didn't ever see her cry or talk about Chris, unless it was in anger towards the "one who should have died."

"Mom," Hyde mumbled, she turned to him and wiped away tears that were cascading down her leathery face. "Why did you want to come here?"

"I thought it was time to, Steven." He scowled at her response and focused on the gray headstone blanketed with snow.

"Why now?" Hyde suddenly asked once again. He felt himself shrinking, as if he were that eight year old boy once more, staring up at her with sad eyes... asking why she did things? Why she was leaving? Why this? why that? why, why, why? "Why now instead of all those years ago? Why do you suddenly give a fuck? Why are you actually treating me like a human being? I don't get it, mom, I don't know what your deal is. I don't know what the fuck is wrong with you, but I can't... I can't take it!" He heard his voice raise and his blood begin to boil.

_'Calm down, just shut up, man!'_ His conscience seemed to yell at himself. But he was angry, no he was furious. And he couldn't just sit there quietly with her there acting like she gave a flying fuck about him and Chris.

Everything he felt and thought was pouring out of his lips. About him, about her, about Bud, and Chris, and life, and just about everything. In a boiling rage that he couldn't control. In a fury that left him shaking and feeling raw, beaten, vulnerable, but lighter. Hyde couldn't stop himself no matter how hard he tried. This was his boiling point, the final tick of the bomb, this was-

"I know, Steven."

He was caught off guard. At the final second before explosion, the bomb had been unwired, the boiling water spilled. His anger had flared at her words, yet also diminished. Her civil tone and calm demeanor shocked him, where was her screaming? Where was her anger?

"What?" He barked, glaring at her angrily. Her shoulders were slumped in defeat, her body language told him more than her voice could ever. She was tired of everything; him, this town, her job, but most of all, herself. But he was not going to feel sorry for her. A year ago, yes, but now it was far too late, he had no compassion or remorse for what he had said. Edna had put him through hell, and he would never forgive her for that. He knew that's what she was after, she wanted him to feel bad for what he said. But he wouldn't, not anymore.

"Steven, please... not now..." Edna whimpered, her bare hand resting on the granite tombstone. Hyde bit back his tongue and took a deep breath. He folded his arms across his stomach as he glared angrily at the ground; he didn't get it. He wanted answers, not the bull shit lies she always fed him, but the truth. What was her deal? In an a frustrated huff, Hyde kicked the snow, it scattered and slowly slid down the headstone, but that's not what caught Hyde's attention. His curious eyes fell upon a plastic baggie that he had uncovered. At first he thought it was his lucky day, yet as he continued to stare at the baggie, he didn't see any green herb, he just saw a yellow piece of paper. He picked up the baggie and stuffed it in his sweatshirt pocket, he wasn't going to leave it in the cemetery- he'd throw it away when he got home, or when he was driving back.

"Mom, can we go back now?" Hyde asked, his fingers had gone numb a long time ago. She had to be colder than him, and though he was beyond pissed at her, he didn't want her to get hypothermia.

_'Unlike her,'_ Hyde thought to himself, darkening his grimace. "Mom, what the hell?" He hissed, turning to where she was standing... she wasn't there. "Mom?" He groaned in annoyance and craned his neck to search the large cemetery from where he stood. He couldn't see much considering it was dark, and he only saw footsteps leading to Chris's tombstone.

"Oh shit," Hyde murmured when he finally found her... he didn't know what it was with this cemetery; but there she was, passed out.

_'Then again, she could be drunk. Or high... or both,' _Hyde thought. And she hadn't been down for long, so it's not like she was going to get pneumonia or die or anything. He bent down and reached under her bent knees and her shoulder blades and lifted his mom with ease. Hyde knew that she was skeletor skinny, yet she felt like she didn't way anything, and it was disgusting.

He had been in this situation many times so he wasn't going to freak out or even wonder if she was okay. Whether it was a night at the bar or a night at the grocery store, usually he had to go and pick her up, literally, and take her home. He was getting sick of this nightly ritual, he was getting sick of having to take care of her and worrying about her. She was the parent, he was the kid, it was supposed to be the other way around! He never had anyone take care of him, so why should he take care of her now?  
He was so tempted to just drop her at the entrance to the cemetery, yet his conscience wouldn't let his angry side do that; he knew better. Hesitantly, he kicked open the gate and carried her out across the hilly sidewalk effortlessly. He stepped on to the side of the road that he had parked on and walked over to the car. Like usual, he lifted his right foot and used the pointed tip of his boot to lift the handle of the car, and pulled back his bent leg to open it. He slid through the small space between the door and the car, then kicked back the metal door as he set her on the passenger seat. Slamming her door, he rolled across the hood of the station wagon and landed on his feet. He hopped in the car and turned the ignition, the engine roared to life without sputtering its complaints. Glancing over to Edna, Hyde shook his head and sped off down the road.

The car seemed colder than the outside air, his body wouldn't stop shaking from the cold and his teeth chattered uncontrollably. It didn't help that the heater was turned on full blast and was blowing out cold air. For the time being, Hyde turned the notch down to low until it was warm once more.

The voice in the back of Hyde's head made him turn to Edna as he approached a stop sign. He reached over to her and felt her neck with his index and middle fingertips; she had a normal heartbeat. Then he placed his hand by her nose to feel if she was breathing, normal. Her body felt cold, yet so was his, as soon as the heater was warmed up then they'd be fine. It had to be alcohol, or maybe she overdosed on meth or heroin or something. There was absolutely nothing wrong with her.

After fifteen of the longest minutes of Hyde's life, he pulled into their gravel driveway. As he slowly stood up out of the car, he decidd his last few tasks of the night. First, he was getting Edna out of the car, then throwing her on the couch or floor, and finally he'd pass out from exhaustion. He was drained from this messed up day and night.

Hyde hoisted Edna in his arms, this time she was carelessly slung over his shoulder. He walked across the snow to the front porch stairs that were on the verge of collapsing. With his free hand, he opened the door.

Hyde walked blindly through his trashed house and occasionally tripped on clothes or bottles. As he turned into the hallway, he felt around the open space for Edna's bedroom door.

Suddenly, he heard a scream that rattled his ear drums. He jumped in shock and turned to Edna. Hyde fell to the floor from a powerful kick to the back of his knees.

"Let me go, Bud, let me go!" She shrieked, paralyzing Hyde. _Bud?_

"Mom!" Hyde cried as she punched and clawed him while continuing to scream. "It's Steven, I'm not Bud!" Edna glanced up at him, her fist was held high in the air. Breathing heavily, she buried her face in her hands. Her shoulders began to shake as she quietly sobbed.

"You fuckin' tore my lip," Hyde grumbled, wincing as he touched his index finger over the cut on his lip. "Why did you call me Bud?" HYde asked. Edna jerked her head up, her eyes were wide with fear. Her mouth moved, yet she had no voice.

"N-no reason," she finally stuttered, standing up. "I'm going to bed, goodnight, Steven."

"But-" Hyde was interrupted by the slam of her door. He sat on the floor in awe as he tried to figure out what the hell just happened. She never talked about Bud, Hyde never even thought about him, the man was completely nonexistent in their present lives. Was there a chance that she met another guy named Bud?

"She was beyond toasted, she's just thinking things," Hyde told himself, then wiped the blood off of his lip.

Hyde dragged himself to his room, his head pounding from exhaustion. He flopped on his bed and sighed heavily. Hyde began to dig in his pockets for his lighter and cigarettes; he just wanted one before he fell asleep. When grabbing his lighter from his sweatshirt, he felt the plastic baggie in his pocket from the cemetery.

Hyde held the cigarette in place with his lips as he flicked the lighter and opened the bag. He pulled out the yelow notebook paper and unfolded. When seeing a long letter or something of the sort in cursive, his curiosity rose. Turning on the lamp beside his bed, he began to scan the piece of paper. As his eyes skimmed across each and every word, he felt his stomach churn and his head swim, he hadn't noticed his cigarette had fallen from his parted mouth.

"Fuck!" Hyde cried as the burning end of the cigarette scorched his arm. "Dammit," he growled, staring at the small burn on his forearm. He took a draw from it once more as he continued reading. His shock was evident in his wide eyes as he finished the letter. He expected some grocery list or maybe a note to a dealer to fill the baggie. Not that. He flipped over the paper, flipped it back around, and reread the page.

_Dear Hyde,_

_When you find the baggie, don't be upset about it not being filled with your "circle stuff." It was so the paper wouldn't get all wet and then you wouldn't able to read this. Anyway, we all just wanted to let you know that we were thinking about you today, and even though you didn't say anything about Chris, we knew you were thinking it. It's got to be tough, but you're like, the strongest one of us all, Hyde, and you're doing a lot better than before._

_You're probably shocked that Eric and I actually went to the cemetery. Well, it wasn't just us, either. Kelso, Fez, and Jackie went with too. Don't be angry that we didn't take you, you obviously went on your own if you're reading this. But we went because of last year, and we didn't want you to feel so alone (even Jackie). Fez talked about his cousin again, except this time he said crocodile... so I don't know if the story is real. Anyways, I just hope that you're not alone, and that we all care for you and love you, you're our brother (we've all got the scars to prove it!) _

_Stay strong Hyde, and remember that what happened wasn't your fault._

_Love you always,_

_Donna _

Eric

_**Fez**_

**Kelso **

_Jackie_

Hyde sighed softly and wore a small smile as reread the letter. He thought it was really cool of them to actually go to the cemetery, though they probably felt a little awkward. It wasn't the type of thing that they would do, but it did show him that they really did care about him. Hyde was extremely shocked that Jackie went, especially since she seemed to hate him. He just wondered when they had the time to go; today was Valentine's Day- Jackie and Kelso were on their date, Eric and Donna were and then he ruined it for them, and Fez was at The Hub looking for that plump girl. He had been with all of them but Donna and Jackie later that night, and when he left, each of them had already gone home.

He closed his eyes as he took the last drag from his cigarette, then smashed it in the small tin can he used as an ash tray. He pulled up his dingy blankets over his shoulders and rested his head on his arm. Silence echoed throughout his bedroom, there wasn't even wind rattling his window. His mind was clear of all thoughts as he quickly drifted off to a heavy sleep. There was no worried or angry thoughts directed to Edna, no sadness or grief brought on by the long ago loss of Chris, and no regret or humiliation permeating his brain and heart caused by Donna. He was sick and tired of feeling, he wanted the null and numbness that he tried to hide himself behind.

_'It's gonna be okay,'_ Hyde heard his own voice echo in his head, _'it'll be okay...'_

* * *

**_Author's Note: Not too happy with the ending, but that's my writer's block for ya :). Hope you enjoyed this chapter... and next up "Prom Night!" *is very excited*_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie_**


	45. Existentialism On Prom Night

**__****Author's Note: Yay! Finally an official canon Hyde and Jackie moment! I can't believe I'm already up to "Prom Night", I'm almost finished with the first season, this is absolutely crazy. It's just weird, but I'm so glad that this story has come so far and that people have enjoyed it. And judging by my recent update schedule, I say that I will not be finished with this story for a looong time. This is also going to be a long chapter because I'm adding a few original scenes... :D. Fun fact, when I first started writing for That 70's Show, I was actually totally against Hyde and Jackie being together. I was a Jackie/Kelso, Hyde/Donna shipper (as seen by my first story "I Lost You") but by the end of writing that story, I became a zenny :). Anywho, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and be patient for updates!**

**__****Love,**

**__****Angie**

**__****PS: If you are even somewhat confused on the order of the story, I'm putting the chapters in the order the series should have gone. So the next one will be "Punk Chick", I'm not sure if I'm writing one for "Water Tower", then I'll do a couple of originals, "Hyde Moves In", and last but not least "The Good Son." **

**__****Also, this will be cut into shorter-ish scenes... but there will be quite a few. :) And I apologize for so much dialogue, personally I don't like there being a lot of dialogue, but hopefully you all enjoy. And I am so so so so so sorry for the wait, I had tons of homework, then Christmas break, and dealing with writer's block did not help me. :( But look for "Punk Chick" hopefully coming up soon! :)**

**__****And by the way, I'm pretty sure this is the longest chapter yet. Just thought I'd let you know :) XD, hopefully it's worth the length and the wait.  
**

**__****

* * *

**

_**Prom Night**_

_There are moments when, when I know it ends. The world revolves around us, and we're keeping it, keep it all going. This delicate balance, vulnerable, all knowing. Sing like you think no one's listening, you would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would kill for this. Sing like you think no ones listening, you would kill for this, just a little bit, just a little bit, you would, you would. Sing me something soft, sad and delicate or loud and out of key. Sing me anything. We're glad for what we've got, done with what we've lost. Our whole lives laid out, right in front of us...__  
_

Pencils scratched on single sheets of paper. Sighs of boredom were heard across the room. Crickets chirped in the corners of classroom. The occasional squeak of a desk chair was heard as someone situated themselves.

Hyde stared towards the front of the room, his eyes focused on the clock hand moving each second, nearing the 12. He was holding his breath with anticipation. His homework assignment was tucked away in his folder, incomplete and forgotten as soon as Mr. Plant had handed it to him. His chin rested against the plastic binder as he continued to gaze at the clock on the wall.

The bell rang, dismissing the students to lunch. Hyde excitedly hopped out of his chair and leaped over his desk. Quickly, he snatched his binder and bolted for the exit. Hyde felt an arm on his shoulder and he turned around, smiling softly when he saw Donna.

"What's the hurry?" Donna asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and slowed down to her pace as they walked to their lockers.

"I just can't wait to see the face of my mother shining with happiness at the sight of her beloved son!" Hyde joked, his voice full of sarcasm. Donna chuckled and shook her head as they squeezed through the hordes of sophomores and freshman.

"You can joke now," Donna mumbled with a smile, Hyde, while chuckling nodded.  
"Always could," he responded, tossing his white binder in his nearly empty locker. The scent of cigarettes and pot that always lingered on his clothes and objects was now permeating his locker; it was just like everywhere else he went to.  
Slamming the metal door shut, he turned his head down the hallway before digging in his pocket for a cigarette. As he took a drag, Hyde glanced up and down the hallway, yet he didn't see any sign of Eric, Kelso, or Fez. He grimaced and turned to Donna, who looked just as curious. They probably just got held back in their class, or at least Kelso- the teachers talked to him about his grades almost as much as Hyde. And unlike Hyde, Kelso actually seemed to care a little bit about his school work, so he stayed behind and listened. Eric probably was just trying to catch up on some assignment or was taking extra notes. And Fez was probably trying to get in the girls' locker room... or was locked in a locker in the boys' locker room.  
"Do you want to just go to lunch?" Donna asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders. He didn't care, either way he wouldn't be getting any food. They'd probably have to fight the sophomores and seniors for a table to sit at, and he was not looking forward to that.

The two of them walked down the hall to the cafeteria. Hyde was hurrying to finish as much of his cigarette as he could before they entered the lunchroom. He could tell Donna was worried about where Eric was. She would glance behind every few seconds to see if he was in the hallway. He grimaced and took one last draw from his cigarette before finally walking into the cafeteria.

"Do you think he was called to the office?" Hyde sighed and shrugged his shoulders. He hadn't realized how much of a 'girl' Donna had become until he heard her go on about Forman and what they did and all of the random information that he didn't want to know. She seemed more vulnerable, like her tom-boy facade had fallen; that wasn't the Donna he knew.

"Forman? Called to the office? That's like me getting a C." Donna cast him a glare and he sighed softly. "Listen, man, if he was called to the office, it was to inform him of his high honor roll status." He grumbled with a mocking tone. Donna looked at him blankly and he was sure she was offended.

Seeing Donna like this really made him aware of the bitchy one-sided chick she could be, though he never thought that was possible. As independent as she claimed to be, he noticed that the longer she and Forman were together, the more and more she clutched on to him. "I'm sure he's fine," he weakly mumbled in defeat, unsure of what else to say. He crushed his cigarette on the polished floor with his boot as Donna nodded slowly, her eyes still darting every which way.

It was days like this that made Hyde wonder why he didn't drop out. He hated the classes, the teachers, and the entire school population. The loss of freedom and being caged in a prison-like building made him itch with discomfort. And the brainwashed and close-minded students made it all worse. But today, the girls were extra giggly and the guys were extra dumb. He didn't know what it was, he didn't know the cause, but it was repulsive. _'Like Edna in a tutu... oh God,' _he thought, wrinkling his nose in disgust at the thought.

Just then, a very dejected-looking Fez dragged himself to the pair. He smiled weakly and sighed heavily.

"What's up, Fez?" Donna asked.

"I have two ticket to the prom, but no girl will go with Fez... ai, I knew I shouldn't have worn these pants." Hyde ignored the fashion comment and turned to give the guy some advice.

"Fez, why would you want to go to the prom, man? It's just a stupid high school dance where you'll gett dressed up for nothing, and waste four hours of your life that you can never get back." Hyde grumbled, Donna just eyed him as he spoke. Fez blinked.

"That is exactly why I want to go! I need a lady!" Hyde chuckled and shook his head, then patted Fez's shoulder.

"Whatever, man," He wasn't going to go into Fez's loneliness talk, he heard it daily. Sure he loved the kid, but he really needed to deal with his wants and needs privately.

"Do you know where Eric is, Fez?" Donna asked, Fez gasped and sucked in his lower lip as his eyes widened.

"Uhh..." he trailed off, voice cracking as he did so. "No." He spoke too quickly. Donna glared at him and he jumped behind Hyde, who just sighed heavily. "Eric said I cannot tell, don't kill me!" he squeaked, Donna unclenched her fist and nodded.

"So he's doing something for me..." Donna mumbled to herself. Hyde glanced at Fez who was looking at him in a 'don't you get it?' sort of way. Then it clicked. Fez had two tickets to the prom. Tickets to the prom... Eric-

"He's getting tickets to the prom!" Donna squealed as her face lit up with happiness. Hyde watched as the girl who used to never care about things such as stupid dances was now practically jumping in excitement.

_'Since when did she turn into Jackie?'_ Hyde thought with a grimace.

Hyde, Donna, and Fez walked through the lunch line, Hyde made sure to quickly walk from the counter to avoid any sight of Edna. He could smell the pot smoke from the kitchens and he shook his head in disbelief. He didn't understand how the staff would allow his mother to actually work there. He had seen her deal with the food; all of her special ingredients. She was more than likely the reason the students became sick.

_'She's a bitch,'_ Hyde thought with a scowl as he quickly hid a pint bottle of juice in his sweatshirt sleeve. That was his lunch everyday since the 7th grade- with the three choices of apple, orange, or grape. Hyde walked with Fez up to the cook's assistant to pay for lunch, although he wasn't going to pay for his juice. He never paid a dime to the school.

"You shouldn't be thinking about Donna," Fez mumbled, Hyde just stared at him.

"I'm not, man."

"You are not thinking about asking her to prom?" Hyde chuckled and shook his head slowly.

"Nah," he replied as Fez handed the lunch lady his money.

"Oh no," Fez exclaimed, "my friend has been blinded by heartbreak!" Hyde just listened to the over-emotional boy with a smirk on his face.

"No, I'm just not going to the stupid dance." Hyde said as the two sat at a vacant table away from majority of the people. He watched with repulsion evident in his expression as Fez chowed down on the disgusting lunch.

"Because you are dateless?"

"No, that's you," Hyde semi joked, which made Fez groan in dejection.

"Ai... must you remind me? Fez asked, Hyde laughed softly, yet was paying attention to the scene ahead of them.

Eric had pulled Donna to a clear area of the lunch room and was holding two tickets in his hands. He offered one to Donna, who grinned and practically jumped with happiness before squeezing Eric in a hug. Hyde scoffed and turned away, his eyes lowered to the table.

"Oh, you are sad, Hyde." Fez mumbled, patting Hyde's shoulder as he rolled his eyes.

* * *

Hyde was about to go insane with all of this prom talk. When did all of his friends turn into such girls? Or more like brain-washed girls. Forman couldn't man up and get a hotel room, Fez was messed up enough to ask their English teacher to the prom- of course, she said no. Kelso had lost his freaking mind when he asked Pam Macy to prom rather than Jackie who was acting like a bratty sob sister as usual. And Donna was girlishly ecstatic- he had never seen her like this before.

Hyde watched Eric and Kelso walk out of the basement and sighed with relief. It was just him and Fez watching Scooby Doo. He could handle that. Hopefully. But Fez was in his Fezzyland, Hyde could tell by the goofy grin and the constant jitters he shook out. In fact, Fez was practically gidy for the next night, and it disgusted him.

"Why don't you want to go to the prom, Hyde? We're all going." That was the point. Everyone was going. Teachers, the entire student population, his friends... he was not going to go to some dumb dance where he'd look like an idiot. He wasn't going to fund anything to that school, and the less time he spent in the prison-like system, the better.

But all he said was, "I don't want to." That was all he needed to say. He didn't want to go, and he wasn't going to. Nothing could make him. Kitty wouldn't guilt trip him into it, Fez's pleads would go unheard, his friends' persuasion would fall on deaf ears. It was final. Hyde was not going to a damn prom. Ever.

"But you could spike the punch!" Fez cried, Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"So could you," he offered, making Fez grumble with annoyance.

"You know I cannot do that!"

"What's stopping you?" Hyde asked, staring at Fez with raised eyebrows. He saw Fez's lip tremble and he braced himself for another emotional outrage from Fez.

"You won't be there!" He squeaked, his brown eyes filling with 'tears.' But Hyde could tell Fez really wasn't going to cry; he was in the drama department after all.

"Kelso will be." Fez's sad face fell and he just glared at Hyde.

"Damn you, you sonofabitch." Fez growled, standing up suddenly. His brown eyes glared angrily at Hyde as he stormed off to the door. "Good day to you!" He cried with a huff, Hyde sighed heavily.

"Fez-"

"I SAID GOOD DAY!" Fez hollered, then slammed the door to the basement. Not even a moment later, he opened the door and peeked his head through. Hyde just smirked up at the 16 year old. "I sorry, Hyde, but I must go..." The curly haired boy nodded and played with his ring.

"That's cool, Fezzie..." He mumbled, which made the other boy grin.

"I will be back later."

"Okay." He could tell Fez felt bad about leaving him alone, but honestly that was what he wanted the most. He was sick of even being around people who were excited about the prom. It was infuriating.

With a final wave, Fez gently closed the door, and Hyde sighed with relief. He stood out of his chair and collapsed on the couch which was surprisingly comfortable. He bent his knees as he leaned back on the cushions. The arm rest was used as his temporary pillow, although his elbows were propping up his head. This was the most peace the sixteen year old had felt in weeks.

Taking a deep breath, he stared at the television yet wasn't really paying attention. His mind was running a mile a minute and it was driving him insane... or at least giving him a throbbing headache. He had seen a very disturbing transformation in his friends today, and it terrified him. For now it was just the prom that they decided to go to. But later it could be football games, or pep rallies, Kelso joining the football team, Eric becoming class president, Donna joining the cheer leading squad... Fez... joining the cheer leading squad. He could just imagine their brainwashed peppiness and high-class attitudes and fake smiles and it horrified him. He wasn't about to let himself become a corrupted brainless zombie, and he was going to try his damn hardest to not allow his friends to become society's norm, either.

It scared him so much, that his breath was erratic, his mind played out horrifying images of letter jackets and Fez in a cheer leading skirt and Eric standing in front of a lectern declaring all of these ridiculous school rules. He was so wrapped up in his thoughts that he didn't hear the basement door open, or the light clicking of heels on the cement floor. Instead, he heard his heart pounding like a rhythmic, ceaseless bass drum.

"Steven."

"_Steven is such a loser!" He could hear Donna, in a high pitched annoying voice, that oddly resembled Jackie's say. "I'm so glad we got rid of him, right Eric-poo?"_

"_Gee, Donna, he was such a drag, I'm so glad I got my life straightened out! All thanks to the prom!"_

"_Guys! I just got a football scholarship to UW! Full ride!" _

"_Want to see me do a flip split?"_

"Steven!" Hyde jumped and stared wide eyed up at Jackie, who was glaring at him. He sighed with relief and shook his head from his beyond-freaky daydream. He silently scooted over and stretched his legs from their bent position. He could practically feel the blood rush and prickle through the inside of his legs like pins and needles.

He wasn't going to allow himself to think about the possible future. Or the prom. Anything about school. He was just going to watch _Scooby Doo_ and ignore Jackie.

_'Wait, Jackie?'_ Hyde thought, momentarily glancing over to the fifteen-year old girl. Why was she here? Why wasn't she going through her millions of dresses for the prom? Why wasn't she shopping with her date?

Instead of her annoyingly bubbly disposition, she looked miserable. He wasn't going to question, but something told him she wasn't too excited for the prom. At least there was someone. Until he heard that sigh. The loud, woeful sigh of hers that she always did when she wanted to talk. To him.

As she sighed for the umpteenth time, Hyde grimaced and mentally beat himself up as he turned to the girl.

"Jackie, if I ask you what's wrong will you stop doing that?" At his question, Jackie instantly lit up and he groaned inwardly.

"It's the Prom. Stupid Michael is taking stupid Pam Macy and I don't have a date, but I told him I did and I'm a complete loser!" She cried, her lower lip trembling.

Hyde couldn't help it. Her? A loser? He started laughing instantly; he hadn't meant to... it was just hilarious. She was a cheerleader, probably one of the reasons all of his friends were going to the prom. She hung out with the most popular people she "got to go to the third floor bathroom- the cool bathroom!"

He looked up at her and instantly stopped laughing when he saw her hurt expression. "No you're not." Hyde mumbled weakly, trying his hardest not to burst out laughing once more.

"It's just that, look, I thought he was going to ask me, and now everyone that's anyone is already going." Jackie continued on, ignoring his outburst. Hyde wasn't sure what to say, so he semi-mocked her.

"Oh, that's so true," he replied, staring at his hands. He could hear her neck crack as she spun around to stare at him strangely.

"How could you know, you're not even going!" She paused, and he glanced up as the astonishment and realization spread across her face.

_'Oh. Crap.' _Hyde thought as she grinned.

"You're not even going! Oh, Oh, and I bet you clean up real good!" She prodded, eyes glittering. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, I do, but I won't. See, that's a big part of who I am." He stated proudly with a smug smirk on his face. She sighed softly and placed her hand on his shoulder, grabbing his attention.

"Look, I know we've had our differences but-"

"Jackie, we've had nothing _but_ differences." He reminded her, eyes focused in on her mismatched pools. He could see the tears well in her eyes and he crippled; he made her cry.

"Yes, but this is the Prom!" She squealed, burying her head in his chest as she sobbed. Hyde stiffened as she wrapped her arms around him and he let out a strained sigh. Hesitantly, he patted her back and bit his lip.

_'How the hell are you going to fix this?'_ Hyde asked himself, he glanced down at the sobbing girl and felt his heart sink. _'No, you are not giving in. Do not give in... she is a bitch! Don't... damn.'_

"Jackie, don't," he mumbled softly, "stop... stop crying." She probably couldn't hear him over her own sobbing. "Look, do you wanna go to the prom?" Her head shot up and she gazed up at him with wide eyes.

"Yes." All signs of sadness were eradicated from her voice and he groaned; she tricked him. "Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!" She shrieked happily, hugging him once again. "This will show Michael- come on!" Hyde back away from her and narrowed his eyebrows.

"Where to?" He asked slowly with suspicion lacing his voice.

"The mall! I have to find my dress and my shoes and you need to get a matching tux and shoes and I need to get jewelry and we need to figure out what kind of tie you'll wear and we only have one day and-"

"Jackie, shut up." Hyde growled. She whimpered and blinked in awe at his words. There was a moment of silence between the pair as he waited for her to retaliate. Yet, instead of barking back, or even kicking him, she grabbed his arm and suddenly jerked him up from the couch. It was his turn to be shocked at her strength and she beamed. "Fine, lets go." He grumbled dejectedly, following her to the door.

* * *

A half hour later, Hyde and Jackie walked up to his shack of a house, and she wrinkled her nose. Hyde looked away from her, though he _hated_ her, he hated this place more, and he didn't want her to revisit where he lived. She'd laugh at him and make fun of him. Jackie probably never stepped foot in this part of town, ever since that summer with the ice cream truck.

He sighed softly and shoved his hands in his pockets and glared at his front porch. Hyde wasn't going to look anywhere near Jackie until they were at least four blocks away. He just wanted to grab the keys, and get out.

"Jackie, wait here, I'll be right back," he mumbled quickly as they stood at the sidewalk before his unpainted house with broken windows, shingles falling, rotted stairs, and overgrown weeds.

"I am not staying out here." She declared, grabbing his forearm. He tried to pull away but she dug her manicured nails into the soft skin of his wrist. "It's dark, and do you know what creepers could live here?"

"_Yes_, I do." He replied with a half smile, which made her chuckle softly.

"Sorry," she whispered, he rolled his eyes. "So... we're taking that?" she pointed to the run down station wagon. "We could have just gone to my house." He shrugged.

"Could have, but didn't. I didn't want to walk that far." Jackie rolled her eyes and he sighed. "Just wait by the car, and I'll be back in a few seconds." She shook her head and stared directly at him. He felt like he was dealing with a ten year old Donna, during that summer. His hard face softened as the ten-year old face of Donna transformed into a fifteen-year old Jackie who wore the same expression.

Sighing softly, he grabbed her wrist and gently pulled her along with him. He could tell she wore a proud smile as they made their way over his lawn. He wanted to warn her about Edna, the mess, everything that he was ashamed about, yet he figured she could already tell. Jackie had seen Edna before, thankfully never talked to her, but everyone knew what _Gross Edna_ was like and what she did. Especially since she was so close to half of the dads in the town.

He shoved the broken screen door open and walked into the dim lit house. Only the light from the setting sun shown through the dingy windows; Edna wasn't home. Hyde felt a heavy weight fall off his chest, yet still, he was embarrassed to show such a high class girl where the lowest burnout of the school lived.

"So... this is where you live." Jackie chirped, as Hyde turned on the living room light. He stared, wide eyed at Jackie. He couldn't stop thinking about that summer, with Donna... when she first saw his house... she said the exact same thing. Hyde gulped, and nodded.

"Yup," he responded nonchalantly, eyes flickering across the room.

"Well... it's..."

"Don't even start, Jackie," He grumbled, lowering his head as he let go of her arm and made his way into the kitchen.

"Well, where is your room?" She called, following him through the mess. He heard her stumble over something and he sighed softly.

"Down the hall, it's nothing special, trust me." he mumbled, searching through the drawers for the extra set of car keys; Edna started hiding the keys from Hyde, he didn't know why. He heard a jingle in the back of the drawer and dug his hand in... pulling out a mousetrap.

"Shit," he growled, throwing the trap on the floor. He glanced up and felt his stomach fall when he didn't see Jackie. "Jackie!" He called, rushing to his room from the kitchen.

_'Dammit!'_ he thought to himself, as he entered the small hallway, _'that little bitch needs to-' _he stopped his thoughts abruptly as he found Jackie standing in the middle of his room, her back facing him. "Seriously, Jackie, what the hell?" He barked, closing the door. She looked up at him and he saw tears sparkle in her eyes.

He didn't want her to see this. It was the cleanest room in the house, yet still it was trashed. Trashed with pictures and broken glass and dents in the walls, cigarettes, lighters, baggies, a mattress, a grungy sheet, a thin pillow, a couple of posters, but nothing special. It was gray, it was empty and dull, and he knew exactly what she was thinking.

"I found the keys," she mumbled lightly, slowly handing him the silver key with shaky hands. He nodded and clutched it tightly in his hand.

"Steven, I didn't know-"

"Jackie, can we not talk about this?" He asked gruffly. She stamped her foot.

"But... this... it's sad!" He scoffed, "I don't mean it like that, I didn't know your life was like this."

"What? You expected me to have a four story house with a mom and a dad who give a damn? News flash for you: the only time my dad showed me he cared was when he left. And my mom? Never. But this is my life, it's not all roses and pretty ponies, Jackie. This is real life." He snapped, on the defensive. Jackie whimpered and turned away from him.

"I know, I know, but I didn't know, I don't know, and... I don't know!" she started to cry, actually cry this time, and Hyde sighed heavily. He placed his arm on her shoulder and bit his lip.

"Jackie, hey, c'mon. We got the keys, and this house is just a bummer. Why don't we go out, get some food, and... can't believe I'm saying this... go shopping for the prom." She looked up at him and smiled softly, quickly wiping away her tears. He smirked and patted her back once.

"Sounds good," she said, both of them leaving his room, arm in arm. "Now, I'm thinking either a light blue dress, or a lilac, and your shirt will have to match, and your tie. What kind of tie do you want?" Jackie kept on rambling as they hurried out of the house, both of them trying to keep their eyes straight ahead as to not notice the poor conditions.

Hyde wasn't really listening to her; he knew he probably should, as he didn't want to end up buying a pink suit, but he couldn't handle her constant jabbering. Yet as he heard her talk chipperly and bounce with excitement, he could tell she was trying to distract herself. Like a defense mechanism. Like him hiding behind his zen, like what he was doing now. She had to be a two-faced, always happy, fake bitch. But what did she have to feel bad about?

He opened the door for her and she quickly plopped down on the cloth seat. Instantly she started coughing from the permeated smoke that left a permanent haze in the car. As he slammed his door, he rolled down the windows so it would help alleviate the pressure from the smoke.

"What is that smell?" She asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders; he wasn't about to tell her about the circle; though she probably knew, since she was dating Kelso.

"My mom's cigarettes," Hyde replied, as he turned on the car. He turned his head around to watch for any coming traffic, which was rare, and swiftly backed out of the driveway.

"Well, it smells awful." He sighed and continued down the quiet street. "Steven, after shopping do you want to get something to eat?"

"That's cool," he replied as he turned the dial on the radio. He felt her confused stare boring into him; he chose to ignore it, and instead tapped out the rhythm to Pink Floyd's "Money."

"I'll take that as a yes," Jackie mumbled quietly to herself. "Where would you want to go?"

"Doesn't matter," Hyde answered, glancing over at Jackie. She appeared to be frustrated; he smirked at that.

"So, first we're going to look at dresses because it's the most important. My colors have to be chosen first so we can match your shirt with it. Look for poofy, light pastel colors... like Cinderella's dress. Oh, that would be so gorgeous...!"

Hyde felt million of brain cells commit suicide as she rambled endlessly. What the hell was "light pastel" colors? He didn't even know what Cinderella's dress looked like. He had never been shopping with a girl before, yet he could tell it was going to be brutal.

He didn't really know why he decided to take Jackie to the prom. Well, she pulled the crying act and he couldn't stand to hear anyone cry, especially Jackie. She was very manipulative and spoiled, she got whatever she wanted, but he didn't know why he caved. Hyde hadn't meant for _I feel bad_ to turn into l_ets go to prom._ And with her of all people; the queen of all zombies.

As he drove, he heard Jackie chattering away, yet he couldn't actually hear the words- or didn't want to. The sound of her voice was enough to send any man to insanity (he didn't know how Kelso could deal with her.) Though it did help that he had the radio playing to drown her out.

Yet as she spoke, Hyde found himself tuning in occasionally. He felt sorry for her, and by her constant rambling, he could actually find himself relating. Not to _what_ she was saying, but why. He could sense that maybe she talked to forget about her dramas, and while they weren't as important as other life issues, he understood it was important stuff to her. Her talking was probably like his zen. Hell, maybe she really did find her own voice to be soothing.

"Did you hear me?" Jackie barked, Hyde coughed and glanced at her bashfully.

"Nope." He replied matter-of-factly. Jackie curled her upper lip in a scowl and he smirked.

"I said 'sometimes I think about death, do you?'" Hyde gawked at her in confusion.

"Why are you talking about _death_?" She curled her fist and punched him in the arm. "Ow!"

"I was talking about my fears."

"Oh... right, yeah... Forman's afraid of spiders." Jackie gasped and smiled suddenly.

"Oh my gosh, are you serious? Does Donna know? What's Donna afraid of? What are you afraid of?" Hyde mentally shot himself over and over for actually making a comment in the conversation.

"Donna... I don't know. Failure probably, maybe falling, I dunno." That was a lie, he did know; she and him had that same conversation over and over, with a few added fears or worries every time. He didn't feel it was his place to tell. He wasn't going to partake in _gossip_.

"And you?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders and turned into the mall entrance.

"I'm not afraid of anything." Hyde answered with a bored tone as he waited for the car ahead of him to turn down the aisle. He heard Jackie scoff and he faced her. "What?"

"That's a lie, everyone is afraid of something." Hyde shook his head and sighed softly.

"Well, doll, I'm not everyone," Hyde answered, looking her in the eye.

* * *

Hyde had a headache. In the department store, the lights were too bright. There was too much perfume, too much frizz and frazz and sparkle and poof, and girly crap that he didn't care about. He had never stepped foot in this hell hole and as soon as he had he regretted his decision of taking Jackie to the prom. And the constant yanking of his arm only made things worse.

"Steven! Are you looking for Cinderella dresses?"

"I didn't know I was supposed to, isn't that your job?" He asked as she poked her head from behind a bunch of flamboyant dresses. Her piercing glare focused into his eyes and he grinned 'innocently.'

"Ugh! Start looking!" She cried then sighed exasperatedly. He slumped his shoulders and hung his head as he quickly scanned the dresses.

_'What dresses look like spoiled little bitch?'_ He asked himself, slowly walking through the sea of poof and lace. As he looked through dark colors, short dresses, metallic skimpy dresses, and what appeared to be cat puke color, he smirked.

"Jackie!" He called, grabbing the hanger with the dress. "I found one!" In front of the first dress, he grabbed the cat puke one and searched for the little midget.

It didn't take long to spot Jackie, although she was completely submersed in dresses of all lengths, colors and poofiness. As she poked her head through the pile of gowns, he saw her face ashen at his choice.

"Steven, that dress is... how do I say this... absolutely disgusting. I wouldn't be caught dead wearing it." She laughed nervously as he eyed her.

"I know," He replied smugly, she sighed and shook her head somberly.

"Let me do the shopping, okay?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders and as he did so "accidentally" Dropped his first choice.

"Uh..." he trailed off as he bent down to pick up the light blue dress.

"Steven," he heard Jackie gasp, and saw her eyes were filled with awe. "Why didn't you show me this dress?" She asked him, he shrugged once more.

"I dunno," he responded quietly, holding out the satin outfit. Jackie squealed and jerked it out of his hands, then zipped out of sight.

"Dammit," Hyde grumbled, sluggishly dragging his body after her. They had spent too much time searching for her stupid dress. He didn't think it would take this long, he had seen plenty of nice dresses as soon as he walked in. But no, Jackie was stubborn and picky; she was always showered with exactly whatever she wanted, no ifs, ands, or buts.

Hyde leaned against the side of her fitting room. He tapped his foot to a tune in his head as he stared off into space, trying to regain peace and calm within.

Just as he imagined, shopping with Jackie was complete torture. This was beyond worse than the car ride, and he thought that was utter hell. He didn't know why his presence was necessary, since she was decided everything herself. He could have just told her his shirt and pant siaze and called it good. He'd be fine wearing jeans and a t-shirt, but Jackie said she would rather "go to the prom with Fez than have him go wearing his normal wear." As soon as she said that, he should have canceled the whole prom fiasco. But he hadn't; and he had no clue why.

"Steven!" Jackie cried from inside the fitting room. He pressed his lips together to show his stubbornness. "I need help zipping the dress, can you come in here?" Hyde remained silent and continued to tap his foot. "Steven?" She asked again after a significant amount of silence."

The door to her dressing room soon opened and she stomped up to him. Hyde smirked as she glared wickedly at him. Without saying a word, she kicked him hard in the shin and as he winced, dug her nails into the flesh of his arm and dragged him in the dressing room with her. He was in too much shock and pain to say a word or to fight against her.

Jackie slammed the door behind her and folded her arms across her chest. Hyde bit his lip as his eyes fought to ignore the cleavage showing from the unzipped dress.

"I was calling you in here, why didn't you say anything?" She practically shrieked, he smirked.

"Didn't want to." Jackie groaned in annoyance, then lifted her raven curls off of her shoulders as she turned around. Hyde gulped.

He wasn't sure what he was doing, or thinking; his hormones had taken over his logic. No, he didn't like Jackie, he thought she was hot, but nothing more. Yet he couldn't tear his eyes away from her tanned creamy skin, or the slight jutting of her shoulder blades from holding her hair up. With her hands raised to pin her hair and not the dress, the garment clung hopelessly to her curves. He found his eyes lock on the outline of her lighter toned breasts.

"Steven, what are you waiting for?" Jackie craned her head to peer at him, which slightly turned her upper half as well.

Clearing his throat, he slowly reached down to the zipper that lay mere centimeters from her lacy purple underwear. He fought against his testosterone flooded thoughts as he began to zip her dress, his hands shaking could feel the warmth of her skin radiate through the satin dress and absorb into his skin. Hyde sighed shakily as he fought against the urge to kiss her bare shoulder, up her neck, to those delicate, plump lips.

'This is Jackie Burkhart, man, what are you thinking?' He thought, hands hovering at the zipper. Until Jackie quickly spun around, which made his hands nearly touch her pushed up chest. He shuddered and quickly stuffed his hands in his pockets, and bit down on his lip, hard.

"How do I look?" She chirped, grinning from ear to ear as she swished her skirt.

"Uh... good," he mumbled weakly, which caused her smile to falter. She placed her hands on her hips and narrowed her eyes. "I mean, fine, you look fine." He quickly added, hoping that would cause her to back off.

"_Fine_? Just _fine_? Who do you think I am, Donna? I don't' ever look _fine_, I'm _gorgeous_, and you know it!" Hyde scowled and glared his bare eyes into hers.

"My God," he hissed in annoyance, "fine, you look beautiful, don't worry, the dress makes you look flawless and not a single hair is out of place," he mocked, his voice heavily toned with sarcasm. But he meant it; she looked really pretty.

"Liar, light blue does nothing for my eyes, come on." Hyde stared at her in confusion.

"What? I thought you liked it!" Hyde barked, he didn't want to spend any more time in this store, and he was sick of Jackie's bitchy attitude.

"I like it, but not the color, I want lilac, and you're going to find it for me!"

"No, I'm-" Jackie interrupted him with another swift kick to the shin. He cursed as he hopped on one leg while rubbing his other wounded one.

"Get me my dress!" Hyde glared furiously into her eyes. He was not going to take orders from this yippy, hot bitch. He was not going to submit to her evil, like Kelso. Even if he had to take a thousand of her kicks, he'd felt worse.

"Nope," he smugly retorted. Jackie huffed and glowered at him before stomping out to find her "perfect dress." Hyde smirked and watched her walk away his eyes following the swivel of her hips.

* * *

The night had come and gone with two more hours of shopping, an hour and a half at The Sizzler and cruising the streets. Then he had walked her home from his house; so her dad wouldn't know it was him.

But that had been last night. Now he was buttoning his black overcoat and putting on his his tie. For the prom. His friends had no idea he was going and he was glad of that. He wouldn't have to deal with them claiming he was a hypocrite or teasing him. He also didn't want them finding out he was going with Jackie.

As he stared in the mirror, Hyde's face fell. Even in this fancy suit, he still didn't look good enough for Jackie. His stomach knotted with nerves as he pulled on his tie.

Why did he care? This was just a stupid high school prom with an annoying cheerleader; eh didn't care. He just wanted to get passed this whole ordeal so he could just continue hating as he criticized himself, all he could do was think about impressing her. Which sickened him. Because he knew that he could never impress her; he was a dirt bag burnout, she was a high-class cheerleader.

Running his hand through his mess of curls, Hyde took one last look at himself before walking out of the small bathroom.

"God dammit, Steven, what to you so- what are you wearing?" Hyde was surprised to see Edna standing outside the bathroom door, though she looked a bit green. He cringed.

"A tuxedo."

"Where'd you get the damn money? What are you doing tonight?" Hyde stared quizzically at Edna.

"Why do you care?" He snarled, not wanting to inform her of his choice to go to the lame school dance.

"Because I'm your mother, dammit! Now tell me before I smack it out of you!"

"God, woman, the prom, I'm going to the prom." Edna began to laugh out loud.

"Who would wanna go to the prom with you, you little piece of shit?" Hyde's eyes lowered to the floor, feeling the ridicule and mock from Edna practically burn him.

"Jackie Burkhart..." he mumbled softly, which made Edna howl.

"That little snot? Why the fuck are you goin' with her? Little slut. Why not go with that blonde girl, Macy, I like her." Hyde scoffed at her comment.

"Figures you'd like Pam," he grumbled sarcastically, "and will you back off of Jackie, ma? You don't even know her." Why was he standing up for her?

"I know her father, and they're a no-good rich family who like to shove their wealth in everyone's face, Steven. What... oh God, don't tell me you like that little tramp..." Hyde shuffled his feet and shook his head.

"No," he defended himself; he didn't _like_ Jackie, he didn't, but he found it wrong of Edna to attack a girl who she hadn't even met.

"Wait, Steven... this is good! You can fuck around with her and get some money so we can-"

"Mom, will you just shut up?" Hyde cried angrily, "I'm not gonna fuck around with her, 'cause she's-"

"Special? Aww does my little baby _love_ her?" Edna cooed, mocking him.

"No, she's dating Kelso, or was. But she loves him, and he loves her, and I don't _love_ anyone. Now will you just shut up and leave me alone?" Hyde barked defensively, losing his zen. Edna just laughed and shook her head at her son.

"Just like your father, can't even see his own denial," Hyde tensed at the mention of Bud and clenched his teeth.

"Don't EVER compare me to Bud!" Hyde growled, blue eyes glaring menacingly into the matching pair. Edna laughed lowly and stared up in amusement into those same eyes.

"What are you gonna do? Hit me? Just like your father, Steven." Hyde's upper lip curled as he scowled.

"Fuck you, ma!" Hyde shouted, turning around and punching the opposite wall. He felt his anger boil as he turned to look at her with angry, but hurt eyes and she stood, in shock. "Fuck you," He mumbled, trying to calm down the rage that flooded his heart. He couldn't go to the prom like this, he couldn't let Jackie see him upset. He needed pot.

Yet as he stood up to walk to his room, there was a soft rapping on the broken screen door. Hyde took a deep breath as he changed his direction. His stomach was doing flips as he neared the door; Jackie was out there, and she'd laugh at him, and he didn't want to go. He didn't want to...

"They're all gonna laugh at you!" Edna howled from the bathroom, then went back to hurling.

"Shut up, ma, you're making the night too damn special!" He screamed back as he opened the door. As he closed the door behind him, he stared in awe at Jackie who stood before him, looking stunning. He felt sick as he nervously walked up to her.

"Hey..." he began, "Wow, you look beautiful." Jackie smiled softly and gazed happily up at him.

"Oh my God, so do you." She replied, Hyde felt the corners of his lips tug slightly; she was shocked. "Um... do you want me to go inside and meet your..." Jackie trailed off, pointing to the door. Hyde shook his head and laughed softly.

"No, no, no... trust me, she's lovely." He informed her, sarcastically. He didn't want to see Edna anymore tonight, he didn't want Jackie to see his house again, he just wanted to get as far away from here as possible tonight.

Hyde placed his arm on the small of her back and nudged her softly to go down the stairs. She followed his steps and in silence they walked off of his front porch; this was a start.

"Let's just go, all right?" He asked, she nodded and smiled up at him. Then he saw her eyes catch the golden box in his arm and tilted her head.

"Is that for me?" She asked, trying to sound genuinely curious. Hyde nodded and held out the box, which she took.

"Oh, yeah... here, I got this for you." Jackie gasped as she opened it. By the look on her face he knew he had gone right with the pink carnation.

"God, Steven, this is beautiful. You know this whole experience has tuaght me that I don't need Michael to go to the prom. I can go with anyone; even you. Thanks." Hyde felt a little of his nerves disappear, yet a hint of jealousy took his place. Even you? What was that supposed to mean.

Hyde stiffened as she leaned in to kiss his cheek. Her lips were just like he thought they were, soft and warm. He half considered turning his head, yet he thought better of it, and pulled away.

"Okay, let's not do that," he mumbled, biting his lip. Jackie blushed a little and sighed softly.

"Sorry. Um, I have my dad's Lincoln, will you drive?" Hyde grinned and took the keys she offered. He understood her not wanting to take his mom's POS car.

"Yeah, cool! He's got insurance, right? Wait, I don't care, let's go." She smiled nervously at him and he offered his arm for her to take. Slowly, she linked hers within his and he led her to the silver vehicle.

The worst part was over, the pick up. As soon as they got to the school, the night would hopefully be easier. Then a couple hours of sitting and drinking punch and listening to crappy music would be over and then he'd go home and smoke until he passed out.

Hyde opened the passenger door for Jackie, which he could tell shocked her. Slowly she slid into the leather seat and tucked her dress in so he wouldn't close the door on it. He patted the door once before running to the other side. He couldn't believe he was about to drive a Lincoln.

Turning on the ignition, he heard the engine purr softly and he sighed happily. Until he heard the radio.

"What is that?" he cried in disgust, listening to the disco music from hell.

"It's "The Winner Takes It All," Steven! Haven't you heard this song?" Jackie asked, Hyde blew a raspberry as he turned the radio dial. "Hey!"

"I don't listen to disco crap, and I'm not going to start." He grumbled, Jackie gasped in offense and he quickly turned the corner.

"Fine, if you won't listen to my music and I won't listen to your music, we won't have any music." Jackie declared matter-of-factly, then turned off the radio. Hyde grumbled his unheard reply and leaned back in the comfortable seat. Silence filled the car for awhile, until Hyde's elbow pressed the button to roll down the window. He jumped when hearing the soft whir of the window sinking into the door and he gasped. Suddenly he started pressing the button like at random, watching the window roll up and down, then glancing quickly at the road. Jackie chuckled softly. He turned to the fifteen-year old and looked at her in confusion.

"You having fun?" she teased as he stopped rolling the windows up and down. He smiled bashfully and nodded; he had never been in a car with these kind of windows before.

"Sorry," he murmured yet had a smile on his face. He hesitantly placing his hand back on his left leg, while his right hand held the wheel. Jackie shook her head and grinned happily at him. "What?" He asked, she shook her head, still gazing in his direction. Hyde narrowed his eyes and stopped at the red light. "Quit looking at me," he ordered, yet she just blinked.

"You seem happy," Hyde shrugged his shoulders at her remark and then nodded.

"Cool," he replied, glancing over at the window and smirked. Jackie giggled and covered her mouth with her hand as she laughed.

"No, I mean, like... really happy. Not just okay like you are in the basement. But different."

"Well, I'm driving a Lincoln, Jackie, of course I'm gonna be happy," He replied, then pressed his foot hard on the gas. The car lurched them both forward, then back as it reached sixty-miles per hour in a matter of seconds. "Wicked."

"Maybe it's because you're not wearing your sunglasses, I can actually see your eyes..." Jackie continued, still staring at him. Hyde glanced over at her, his smile fading. "I like seeing you happy, Steven." he pursed his lips and stared straight at the road once more.

"Whatever," he mumbled, turning on the radio. Instantly Jackie started belting out the lyrics to the Mamas and the Papas song and he sighed with relief; it was better than talking about his feelings.

* * *

"Oh my God, Hyde!" Donna cried, running up to him twenty minutes later. "You came! And... with Jackie!" She looked at the pair who walked had just walked in, their arms wrapped around each other's waists. He smiled softly. Jackie was grinning and nodding happily and he felt her arm tighten around his side. "Wow."

"I know!" Jackie squealed, her face light with happiness. "He asked me last night after I left your house!" Hyde choked as he heard Jackie inform Donna of 'what happened.' Donna met his eyes and smirked.

"He asked you?" Jackie nodded vigorously.

"Well, it was more of a... mutual agreement, because she uh..." Hyde trailed off, feeling his face heat up. But he realized Jackie was right; he had asked her.

_'How did that happen?'_ He asked himself, standing there dumbly between Jackie and Donna who were talking about their dresses and how pretty each other looked.

"Come on, Hyde, let's go find Eric, I want to show him you came after all," Donna said, he glared at her, both of them knew exactly what she was doing. Reluctantly, Hyde followed Donna, who had an extra bounce in her step, and was stuck to Jackie who just wouldn't let go of him.

As they walked through the gymnasium together, he felt eyes upon him. Jackie was smiling and waving to everyone as they walked through the crowd, yet he felt his nerves suddenly grow strong once more. He was at the prom... with Jackie Burkhart. He, Steven Hyde- high school stoner, was at the junior prom with Jackie Burkhart... cheerleader and one of the most popular girls at school. He wasn't one for being in the spot light, and right now all he wanted to do was run to a corner and hang out there until the prom was over. But of course, Jackie wouldn't let him.

He could hear quiet whispers and murmurs over the music. After a few moments, most people had turned their attention back to their dates, yet still, he felt the cruel eyes of the school's society burning on his flesh and it scared him half to death. Their scrutiny and criticism wouldn't just affect him, but now Jackie. Did she realize what she just did to herself?

"Look at them," She whispered, nodding to a group of girls, Hyde nodded slowly. Jackie smiled up at him and rested her head on the crook of his arm. "They're jealous." Hyde raised his eyebrows.

"Jealous? Of who?" Hyde asked, Jackie laughed softly and looked up at him with her doe eyes.

"Me." Hyde shrugged his shoulders; a lot of the high school girl's population was jealous of Jackie, or envious, or just down right hated her. He knew that. "Do you know why?"

"Your dress is prettier than theirs?" Hyde suggested, Jackie laughed loudly.

"No, because I'm with you."

She's with him... that's why they were jealous? Hyde stared at her in confusion; he didn't get it. If people didn't fear him, they made fun of him for being poor. Plus he remembered homecoming week, Jackie showed the rankings of the 'most desirable guys at Point Place High.' He was one of the bottom ten, even Eric was higher than him. There was no way in hell those girls would be jealous of Jackie for being at the prom with him.

So he started laughing, and he thought Jackie would laugh along with him. But when she didn't even crack a smile, he instantly silenced his chortles.

"Wait, are you serious?" Hyde asked, she nodded.

"Hyde?" He turned and saw Eric holding Donna close to him. "Holy crap, Hyde, Donna you were right, he came after all!" Donna nodded.

"With me!" Jackie chirped, Eric's eyes bugged as he looked from Hyde, to Jackie, repeat.

"Wait... Hyde, what about Kelso?" Eric asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"Michael chose Pam Macy over me, and I told him that I had a date too, who was better than him in every way." Hyde's jaw dropped and he paled as he heard Jackie talk.

"And you chose Hyde, oh man, Jackie, I am impressed!" Eric cried, grinning from ear to ear. Yet Hyde suddenly felt like he was going to pass out.

"Thank you, Eric, but Hyde actually asked me." As soon as Jackie said that, Eric burst out laughing, and didn't notice Hyde's sudden silence and tension.

"Oh, Jackie, Hyde, that's good... that's... wait..." Eric paused when seeing Hyde's solemn face. "Hyde, you asked Jackie?" Hyde opened his mouth to answer, but Donna interrupted.

"No, it was a 'mutual agreement,'" Donna replied, using air quotes. Hyde scowled and Eric bit down on his lip to keep from laughing.

"Kelso is so going to kill you!" Hyde raised his eyebrows and smirked.

"_Kelso_? Kill _me_?" Was all he said, and everyone realized Hyde was right. Whenever Kelso tried to beat Hyde up, he hurt himself before nearing Hyde. And if he did punch, kick, or antagonize Hyde, he always ended up on the ground screaming in pain about his eye. There was no way in hell Kelso could beat him up. "Where's Fez?" Hyde finally asked, realizing that their newest friend wasn't anywhere he could see.

"Chasing around Ms. Kavinsky, trying to get her to dance..." Donna trailed off, Hyde nodded slowly and knew not to ask any further questions. "Speaking of, you two should dance!" At the same moment, Jackie squealed as her face lit up, Eric snickered, and Hyde inwardly groaned.

Now that Donna mentioned dancing, he knew that's all Jackie would want to do. Hesitantly, he turned to face her and ignored Eric and Donna's silent teasing.

"Jackie, do you want to dance with me?" He asked, feeling awkward as the words slipped off his tongue. Jackie nodded and pulled him out to the dance floor too eagerly. He sighed and placed his hands on the small of Jackie's back and he felt hers grip his shoulders.

"_Shadows grow so long before my eyes, and they're moving across the page. Suddenly the day turns into night, far away from the city. But don't hesitate 'cause your love won't wait..."_

"I love this song!" Jackie chirped, Hyde chuckled and swayed slowly with her, he personally couldn't stand Peter Frampton, but it was better than ABBA.

As the two danced together, he kept his eyes at her shoulder, so it looked like he was looking at her, but he really wasn't. Though every once in awhile he glanced down at her face. Her smile had faded and she had a distant look, he sighed softly.

"Kelso's behind me, isn't he?" Hyde asked quietly, Jackie nodded and looked up at him with tears in her eyes.

"I'm sorry... it's just that I always pictured Michael and I together at the prom. That's how it was supposed to be, you know?" She said, Hyde nodded and grimaced.

"Yeah, I know... well hey, Pam's butt looks really big in that dress," Hyde offered as they turned, his eyes focusing on the couple dancing in front of them.

"No it doesn't," Jackie argued.

"Yeah... no it doesn't," He just decided to give in. Jackie was sad, and he tried his best to make her happy by asking her to the prom, going shopping for the prom, going to the prom, dancing with her at the prom, and insulting Pam Macy. At the prom. And it all seemed to be pretty damn pointless, she was still thinking about Kelso.

"But thank you," She smiled weakly, "do you mind if we just sit down?" Hyde dropped his hands and nodded.

"Yeah, all right, I'll go grab some punch." Hyde and Jackie went separate ways, he made sure she was seated before turning his back to pour two glasses of the fruit punch.

"Hyde!" He heard Kelso quietly say his name, "you brought Jackie to the prom? You're supposed to be my friend, and you dogged me!" Hyde sighed softly and set down the small glass of punch.

"Hey, she cried, man!" He fought back, glaring Kelso in the eye.

"Well, is she having a good tiem? 'Cause she looks really pretty..." Kelso whined, Hyde groaned in annoyance.

"All right, look you big baby! She wants to be with you, and you want to be with her, so go be with each other. Because this whole thing sickens me!" Hyde hissed. Kelso smiled, then frowned.

"Well, what am I gonna do with Pam?" Hyde thought for a moment, then patted Kelso's shoulder.

"Don't worry about it, I'll take care of Pam." Suddenly, Kelso hugged Hyde and he cringed as he tensed.

"Thanks, man!" Kelso said, then the two went to their new dates.

As Hyde sat next to Pam, he thought about Edna. She would sure be proud to hear how this turned out. He dumped the rich girl for the town's high school slut.

"Excuse me, Pam? Hi." He started, she glanced at him and smiled softly. "Have you ever seen the backseat of a Lincoln Continental?" She nodded.

"Lots of times." He grinned.

"Would you like to see another one?" She shrugged her shoulders.

"Sure."

"Great," They both stood up and he grabbed Pam's hand as they walked out of the gym.

With his date now with Kelso, he had no reason to be at the prom, so he'd fool around with Pam for a little bit, then go home, get high, and pass out. Donna and Eric had left awhile ago for the motel, and Kelso and Jackie were too preoccupied with each other. Before exiting the gym, Hyde glanced behind him once more, and saw the couple dancing close together, in the middle of a long kiss he thought they'd never break.

"Hyde, do you remember the last time we made out?" Pam asked as they neared the car he and Jackie drove to the prom. Hyde chuckled softly and nodded.

"Yup," he replied as she leaned on the car.

"I have to say that you're like the best kisser ever," she said, he smirked.

"Good to know," he responded, then pulled her in for a heavy lip lock. Yet as he opened the back seat door, and climbed on top of Pam, all he could think about was Jackie...

* * *

The clock changed from 1:12 to 1:13. Hyde stared at the white digits, his mind blank, joint burning in his hand. This was the first time all night that his mind was at ease; no nerves or weary thoughts, no thoughts of Jackie. He was just calm, and content.

It was weird to think that he did it with Pam Macy. It's not like it mattered, but it just felt gross. She was definitely good at what she did, and he was too, yet it was Pam Macy. She wasn't like other sluts, she was like the third biggest slut in Point Place. Second was Laurie, who was the Earth Mother Whore, and Edna was first, she was the queen of all prostitutes, whores, sluts, tramps, and home-wreckers. He liked them slutty, but...

"Bleh..." Hyde mumbled, flicking the joint. He had been in the process of changing out of his tuxedo and into his pajamas before lighting up, and was still in the process of doing so. In fact, the only thing he was wearing was a pair of boxers. But since he was in the privacy of his own room, he didn't care.

It been a long and confusing night, and he was glad it was over. Truth be told he hadn't really minded that he ended up going to the prom, with Jackie. He felt that if anyone else asked him to go, he wouldn't. There was something about the little bitch that he liked; she was stubborn, and she stood up for herself. She didn't seem like the kind of person to take shit from anyone, yet at the same time, he knew she was a total pushover. If Jackie continued going back to Kelso every time he cheated, she would do nothing for herself but gain heartbreak and lose confidence. He didn't want to see her go through that, she deserved better, but it was her lesson to learn and he could do nothing but watch.

And he didn't like Jackie, he didn't even consider her a friend. Edna was just too drunk to even know what she was talking about. He could deal with Jackie, be civil with her, maybe consider her an acquaintance, but they definitely weren't friends and he _did not have feelings for her._

Donna had been a bitch at the prom, sure it may have been funny but none of them gave him a chance to explain. Jackie cried. He didn't know what else to do; that was the only reason he took her. He didn't want to go to the prom, but he went to be nice, out of... pity? No, because it didn't turn out to be so bad. Hyde didn't think hanging out with Jackie was as bad as he imagined, though the shopping was brutal. But if you ignored the constant talking and the gossip, she was okay to deal with. But he didn't like her.

When he had gotten home, Edna was up, waiting on the couch. He had walked in and she asked him how the prom was. She asked him if he had a good time with the tramp, and he freaked out. Edna was actually being... nice. Hyde wasn't used to it, so he told her to shut up and slammed his bedroom door. Now that he thought back to it, maybe he should have said that he hadn't had a bad time... or he should have said something other than "shut up." But this was Edna, she had been a bitch to him throughout his entire existence. He didn't need to be nice to her, she didn't deserve it. But a part of him felt bad about what he did... a very small part. But a part nonetheless.

Hyde inhaled the smoke from the joint and felt it burn his throat; it was one of the best feelings in the world. He held the hit until his eyes began to water, then began to cough heavily. Smoke billowed from his mouth and added to the haze permeating the room. This stuff was supposed to clear his mind, not make it race.

He smashed the rolled butt on the wall, where he always put out his cigarettes and joints. Then he set it on his mattress and stood up as he blindly searched for a pair of pants. After tripping on a pile of books he attempted to read but couldn't get interested in and nearly falling into the wall, he found the sweatpants he had worn the night before and a plain gray t-shirt. He needed food.

Once he opened the door to his bedroom, he was more sure of his footing. Edna had left the lights on again (and she complained about the utility bill and blamed him.) so it was easy to dodge the piles of clothes and syringes on the floor. He didn't have to tip toe, yet he was used to having to dodge spilled beer, puke stains, and broken glass throughout their entire house, so it was a habit.

He searched through the cabinets in his kitchen, trying to find anything that was still edible. Stale chips, moldy bread, empty peanut butter jar... he chose the chips. Then he slid on the linoleum floor to the freezer and opened the door, looking to see if there was any frozen food he could heat up... unfortunately, nothing. The fridge had mostly alcohol in it or food that had spoiled two months ago, so he wasn't going to even look, though he did grab a beer.

With the bag of chips and drink in hand, Hyde walked into the living room and plopped down on the couch. One good thing Edna had done was bought a color television _with_ a remote control, and he had new vice grips so he could watch nearly anything he wanted. He aimlessly flipped through the channels, looking for anything interesting, yet he was sure there wouldn't be anything on at these hours.

Hyde hadn't noticed that his constant down-clicking became less frequent, or that his eyes drooped shut after just a few minutes on the couch. The potato chips had been long forgotten as he began to drift to sleep, his mind finally clear of all thoughts.

_Knock-knock-knock. _

Hyde startled as his eyes shot open. The television was on a fuzzy channel and he yawned.

_'Must have been the volume,' _Hyde thought, resting his head on his arm once again as he curled up on the couch.

_Knock-knock-knock-knock-knock-knock._

No, that was real, definitely real, and not the T.V. Hyde groaned sleepily as he sat up on the couch, waiting to hear the knocking once more. The rapping had been louder than before, and sounded more like wood.

Hyde jumped when he saw the screen door open slowly. He tilted his head to try to see who it was, or if anyone was there at all, but he couldn't tell. This better not be his mind playing tricks on him, he was tired, and high and those were not a good mix.

"Steven." He heard a thud and he bounced up off of the couch and ran to the door. That didn't sound like Edna, but he couldn't tell who it was. Donna? Nah, they hadn't really hung out since the Valentine's Day fiasco, and he doubted she'd come around at 1:30 in the morning. "Ow."

"Jackie? What are you doing here?" He asked, seeing the young girl stand up from the floor. She walked into the dimly lit living room and smiled at him.

"I was bored." He raised an eyebrow.

"You were bored, so you decided to come to _my_ house?" She nodded, then tilted her head.

"Oh my gosh, were you sleeping? I'm sorry!" Hyde shook his head and suppressed a yawn; he was confused.

"Jackie, seriously, what are you doing here?" Hyde asked.

"Well, I just wanted to thank you, for everything. I know what you did, and I thought it was really sweet, and when I went to talk to you, you weren't there, so I decided that I'd come tell you now," Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"Cool," Jackie sighed and smiled at him, "so... you and Kelso?"

"We're back together, and it's going to be perfect this time, I know it." He didn't know what to say as he listened to this girl. He felt bad for her, Kelso was just going to use her over and over again and toy with her emotions while he went around and slept with other girls. He hoped she would soon find out it wasn't going to be the perfect relationship she dreamt of.

"Good," he replied and she grinned.

"I had a great time at the prom with you, though, I was happy to have you as my date." Jackie chirped, then hugged Hyde. He was unsure of what to do, so he just patted her back softly. "Thanks for everything, Steven." She murmured, then kissed his cheek.

"Not a problem, doll," he mumbled in reply, smirking softly.

"So... I'll see you tomorrow?" He exhaled heavily and nodded.

"Uh, sure, yeah, I'll be in the basement tomorrow..." he trailed off. This had better not mean they were friends. He just felt bad for Jackie, nothing more.

"Steven!" He heard Edna call from her room. Jackie stiffened instantly and Hyde froze in his spot. "Oh God, I'm gonna be sick, Steven get me a damn beer!" He heard her bedroom door slam open and his eyes widened.

"Jackie, I'm sorry, but you need to go-"

"But why? It's not that-"

"Jackie, dammit, go. Just go!" He hissed quickly, grabbing her arms and practically carrying her outside.

"You jerk!" She cried as Hyde slammed the door. He didn't know why, but it hurt him. He didn't want her upset by him, she had Kelso to deal with.

Hyde ignored Edna's retching from the bathroom and watched out the window as Jackie quickly drove away, probably extremely angry, or crying, and he instantly felt worse. He sighed heavily and shook his head, his heart sinking as he saw her tail lights turn down the street.

_'I don't like her,'_ Hyde told himself, _'I can't like her...'_


	46. Those Anarcho Punks Are Mysterious

_**Authors Note: Hello everyone! I tried to update as soon as possible, and since I had two snowdays, I had a lot of time to write! This chapter I wasn't sure about, yet I ended up really liking it. I hope you all enjoy, and be glad you received a quick update. And, ehh... maybe a little warning. Parts of this are sort of dirty, but trust me when I say compared to some stories on here, this one is nothing :). I don't really like writing smut, so... don't expect very dirty scenes from me, ever lol... suggestive, leading to dirty that I don't write, but you guys can use your creative minds to come up with what happens in between the chapters, or if you're in the mood for smut that I don't write just go read some other smut one-shots... then come back here. XD After awhile, I sort of softened Chrissy's character up (a tiny bit) because, I dunno, but I like her better like this. There wasn't much change though. **_

_**Hope you enjoy!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: Next chapter will be "Water Tower" although I'm not quite sure how exactly I'll be writing it. If you have any suggestions, PM me here! **_

_**

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_**Punk Chick**_

_We're all presidents, we're all congressmen, we're all cops. In waiting, we are the workers of the world. There is the elite and the dispossessed. It's only about survival. Who has the skill to play the game for all it's worth, and reach an obscure kind of perfection. Let's try and keep as much emotion out of this as possible. Let's try not to remember any names. We'll do it for a country, for a people, for a moral vision. United we'll make them remember our history. Or how we'd like to be told. We rock, because it's us against them. We found our own reasons to sing, and it's so much less confusing when lines are drawn like that. When people are either consumers or revolutionaries, enemies or friends. Hanging onto the fringes of the cogs in the system; it's just about knowing where everyone stands. All of the sudden people start talking about guns, talking like they're going to war 'cause they found something to die for. Start taking back what they stole, sure beats every other option. But does it make a difference how we get it, well do you really fucking get it?_

"So what will I ask?" Fez asked for the third time within the ten-minute conversation. Hyde scowled and turned the page of his newspaper.

"How big are your breasts," He grumbled flatly, not even looking up from the page.

He had no clue why he read the newspaper. All of the stories had to be pre-approved before they were published, so the original opinions of the journalists wouldn't be heard. While they had the "Opinions" section, there was censor-ship, there was no one talking about how messed up the country was, or anyone knowing the truths behind the government, like him. Countless times he had written in to the publishers so he would have his voice be heard; sometimes what he said was two words, other times it was over a thousand. Yet he never saw them publish it. They were too scared.

There was something wrong with sitting in a nearly empty burger joint reading a newspaper on a Friday night while one of your best friends is attempting his first prank call. Hyde knew that. Yet there was nothing else he really wanted to do, or could do. Eric and Donna were once again on another date so there was no Vista Cruiser, Kelso was God knows where, and he wasn't going to hang out with Jackie. Fez and him were alone, doing nothing, trying to make the best of their boring situation. And Fez liked to talk, he had attempted to talk to Hyde about his feelings. That's when he gave him a dime to call someone.

"Hello, House of Chicken? How big are your wings?" Hyde rolled his eyes and set down his paper momentarily as he turned back to Fez.

"Breast!" How many times did he have to tell the kid? They went over exactly what he was supposed to say multiple times. It was breast; not wings, thighs, or legs. Breast! Fez was obsessed with breasts so how could he not remember this.

"Oh, how big are your breasts." Hyde nodded and went back to his paper momentarily, yet wasn't really paying attention. He had to make sure Fez did the prank call right; God he was worse than Eric. "This is Fez, who is this?" Hyde waved his hand and then pointed to the phone base. Fez quickly hung up the receiver and grinned.

"My first prank call!" He chirped, Hyde nodded and turned the paper over to read the comics... maybe those would make him laugh. "Every night with you is an adventure!" Hyde glanced up and gave Fez a strange look. Sitting here, doing absolutely nothing was fun to Fez? How was that possible? Then again, it was Fez.

"Yeah, Fez, it's a real roller coaster, ain't it?" Fez nodded then pulled his chair closer to Hyde.

"Hyde, how come you do not have a girlfriend?" There was the talk that Hyde wanted to avoid. He didn't want to even think about girls right now. They all knew his answer, he didn't understand why Fez pressed the issue; he didn't need a chick. He didn't want to be tied down to some nag telling him what to do and who to be. "Maybe if you did something with your hair..." Fez reached out and began to fluff his hair, which caused Hyde to glare at Fez and slap his hand away. No one touched the magic fro.

"Hey you!" Hyde turned around and met eyes with a girl wearing all leather and a deep set scowl. "Is there a motel in this puke hole?" She asked, Hyde raised his eyebrows and smirked at her.

"There's a Sleepy Time Lodge three puke holes over," he replied, completely oblivious to Fez's growing smile.

This girl looked grungy, mean, cynical, reckless, careless and extremely hot. Hyde found it ironic that as he and Fez were talking about girls, this chick just walked right in, with an edgy look and a rough voice. Hyde's kind of girl.

"Thanks, I'm Chrissy," She said, her scowl lifting to a faint smile.

"I'm Hyde," she scoffed at him.

"Who cares! You wanna uh... hop on my Vespa and uh... show me where it is?"

She had a Vespa? As he looked outside, he realized that this chick, Chrissy, was becoming more and more of an idea for him. He'd never seen her around here before, maybe she was moving here, or just passing through. But he felt like she was going to completely change his life.

"Mother of God, I think I love you," Hyde blurted, staring at Chrissy with astonished eyes, thankfully covered by his sunglasses.

"Love is an outdated concept used by industrialists to keep women subservient," Chrissy barked, Hyde's jaw dropped and he blinked, now seeing Chrissy with two guitars behind her back and the Anarchy symbol... angel of rebellion. He felt his heart pound in his head and he couldn't suppress his grin anymore; he knew this girl was perfect for him, he could tell as soon as she spoke to him.

"Mother of God, I do love you!" Chrissy rolled her eyes and sneered at him before holding out her hand.

"Shut up, you comin' or not?" Hyde glanced at Fez who nodded, he'd have to thank him later. The sixteen year old stood up, waved a goodbye at Fez, and stood up.

"Sure," Hyde said, she grinned and took his hand, then lead him out of The Hub.

Hyde knew absolutely nothing about this girl, except her name. He didn't know where she came from, why she was here, nothing. But there was something about her, he couldn't tell what it was, but it made him feel... understood. His friends knew and listened to his political outrages and government rants, but they didn't really agree or understand. They were rebellious, but only because of him. But Chrissy, she was a conspiracy nut, too, and she seemed to not care about anything or anyone. Just like him.

"Where to?" Hyde asked her as they situated themselves on her Vespa. Chrissy just laughed as she started the bike.

"Does it matter?" Chrissy barked then sped down the street. Hyde smirked and watched as they flew passed the stoplight glowing red, the cool May night air blowing harshly through his long sleeved shirt.

As she drove through the small town, passing by the biggest named stores and local markets, he felt her left hand reach down and squeeze his. He smiled, though she couldn't see, and allowed her to guide his hand to the side of her waist.

_'This chick is so badass,'_ Hyde thought, leaning his head over her shoulder, and smirked when seeing her do the same. She pressed her lips against his in a surprisingly soft kiss, and he felt himself melt with her gentle manner. He wouldn't picture her to kiss like this, and all it did was make him crave more.

"I think it's about time we find that motel," Chrissy said, suddenly pulling away. Hyde saw her grin mischievously and he knew that she knew exactly what she was doing. But he wouldn't let her know how irritated he was at her ending their hot and heavy make out session.

"Sure," he replied nonchalantly, she turned her head around and raised her eyebrows as she laughed quietly to herself.

As she drove to the motel from the directions he had given her, Hyde stared at Chrissy with glazed eyes and a soft expression. This girl, was awesome. She had come when Hyde just wanted to escape and they did absolutely nothing but drive around on that Vespa of hers. But still, she had saved him from hours of boredom and slight annoyance from Fez and his questions. And Chrissy made him feel like he wasn't the only one aware of the government's true intent, that he wasn't among a nation of sheeple. But most of all, and because of her awareness and personality, she made him feel happy.

"What are you looking at?" Chrissy asked, when seeing his locked stare on her shoulder. Hyde just chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"You," he answered truthfully, she scoffed and pulled into the nearly empty parking lot of the lodge. "What?"

"Well, don't," She hissed, smirking back at him as she turned off the Vespa. He curled his lip in his traditional smirk as well as they abandoned the Vespa and walked towards the front desk.

"Fine," He replied as simple as that, "so tell me, where are you from?" He asked, she rolled her eyes and slammed her fist down on the counter, trying to get the attention of the clerk.

"Why do you care?" he chuckled and watched as the small, mousy man hurried to the desk.

"I don't," He replied. And he didn't, he was just generally curious. He knew nothing about this girl, and it didn't bother him, he'd just like to know maybe her last name before sleeping with her. Hell, he knew more about Pam Macy than her and he didn't give a rat's ass about that whore.

Hyde felt a light frog on his arm and he glanced over at Chrissy, who smiled up at him.

"Come on, I got our room," she mumbled, he nodded and walked with her towards the potentially disgusting motel room that she'd be sleeping in.

_'Wait, did she say **our**?' _Hyde thought, grinning as he realized just what she said; she didn't seem to catch her slip.

"St. Joe," he heard her mumble, making him tilt his head curiously. She sighed heavily, "St. Joe, you asked where I live."

"Wisconsin?" Hyde asked, as she unlocked the door, she laughed out loud as she shook her head.

"Are you seriously that dumb?" She questioned sarcastically, staring at him in disbelief. "Missouri," she answered, he shrugged his shoulders and walked inside the darkened room. As she turned on a light, he turned to her, prepared to ask his next question.

"So... why are you here?" she snickered and shook her head at him, but he didn't know what exactly was funny.

"You didn't seem like the type to ask questions." She declared, tossing her leather jacket on the wooden chair by the small table. He raised his eyebrows as he pulled out a cigarette from his pocket.

"Oh yeah?" He asked, she nodded. "What type of guy did you think I was?" Chrissy took the lit cigarette out of his mouth and inhaled his hit.

"You'll find out," she replied as her mouth released the smoke.

"I like your way of thinking," he replied, taking the ash tray from the table and setting it on the queen sized bed. She rolled her eyes and knelt on the floor by the left side of the bed. He followed her actions, except sat on the opposite side as he dug out another cigarette and his lighter.

"If you really want to know, I'm running away from my old life, and going to New York." Chrissy finally said after a few minutes of silence. Hyde looked up at her.

"Why New York? Why not... St. Louis or-"

"I fucking hate Missouri, it's worse than this hick town, and I'm gonna be in a punk band." This was getting better and better. She left her whole life to go to New York, to be in a band. She had the balls to leave everything and everyone in her past behind, something Hyde wanted to do so badly. Yet he couldn't bring himself to leave his friends, and Mr. and Mrs. Forman.

"A band? You play?" She nodded.

"Yeah, I play drums." Hyde grinned as his eyes widened in shock.

"That's awesome man," he was in total awe. She was doing all of this, for a band, and a punk band at that. Chrissy was just getting better and better.

"Who would've thought I'd meet a radical number like you in a slag heap town like this?" Hyde smirked and caught her eye, he had abandoned his sunglasses awhile ago.

"I can't believe you're just passing through, man. You're dark, you're obnoxious, you're dangerously paranoid. Until tonight I didn't even know a girl like you existed!" And he hadn't; the only kind of girls he had ever talked with, or messed around with, were either sluts or feminists. There was no rebellious, in touch with everything, girls. Until now.

"Has it occurred to you that we're on a bed?" His eyes lit up; this was too good to be true.

"Oh, man, this is so perfect. You're easy, too?" This was Chrissy; a rebel, running away to New York to start a punk band, who was everything Hyde was, and easy.

"Yeah," she said, like it was a well-known fact. "See, the establishment doesn't want us having sex because they know it makes us feel good, right?"

"Yeah..." He really liked where this was going.

"So, if we can feel good on our own, what do we need the establishment for? So every time we have sex, it's a huge protest!" He had long since locked eyes with her and his lips had pulled into a small grin.

"You know what? I think I feel a huge protest coming on."

Almost as if she had been waiting for him to say something of the sort, she leaned towards him, and he met her in the middle of the bed. Their lips locked once more in the frenzied kissing they had shared while on her Vespa. Only this time, it would be uninterrupted.

The ash tray fell off the edge of the bed as the two collapsed at the head. Hyde propped himself with his left hand as he lay on top of Chrissy, so as to not put all of his weight on her. She laughed quietly as he attacked her neck with small kisses and slowly slid his hands under her t-shirt.

"Just like the man to be on top," she joked breathlessly as he slid her shirt up, exposing her pale flesh and bare chest.

"It's not like you don't enjoy it," he whispered back, nibbling on her skin that tensed from the cool air in the room. She nodded and balled the cloth of his shirt up from his back, pulling it off in a matter of seconds.

"Clearly you are, too," he smirked as he gazed down at her, and kissed her softly, caressing her back as he pulled her in for a deep kiss both of them wouldn't forget for a long time.

Hyde knew she was just a short fling; she'd be leaving for New York... but she was incredible. Chrissy, she completely got him. She was sarcastic, witty, dark, aware, hot, and he could tell she liked him too. This was the first chick that seemed to actually like him.

As Hyde held her close, her nails digging in his back, his mouth nipping at her collar bone, their quiet sounds filling the room, he realized this something. All those years ago, when he was thirteen with Amy, that didn't matter. This time, it felt the most right it ever had. And no, he didn't _love_ Chrissy, he liked her, thought she was an awesome girl, but sex didn't have to be about love and "making love" as Jackie always talked about. But this felt better than when he was thirteen.

But of course, that was all going to be kept inside. Outside, she was just another chick, he was just another throw-me-down on the road, mounting a protest of their very own. As he stared down at her, she smiled up at him while her chest heaved with deep, shaky breaths.

"Damn," she murmured with a smile, sliding under the blankets, he followed suit.

"Yeah?" He asked, trying to steady his breathing and heart rate. She rested her head in the crook of his arm and he sighed, staring up at the motel room ceiling. Chrissy turned her head and smiled at him, then kissed the corner of his mouth.

"Come with me," she whispered, he stared into her brown eyes.

"I think I already did," she laughed out loud, and hit him on the chest. "What? It was a joke."

"I know... but, Hyde, come with me, to New York." her smile faltered and his smirk softened into a grimace.

"I want to-"

"Then why don't you; you can leave this dirty town. You can start a new life, make a name for yourself. Why would you want to stay in a town like this?" He looked at her, his mind racing as he inwardly fought himself.

Chrissy made fine points. He could get away from Edna, drop out of school, use the money his grandparents gave him to rent an apartment. He could find a job working somewhere to earn money, then make a name for himself, somehow. Music? He could play guitar. Writing? He could write political rants about how fucked up the government was- and people would listen, they would agree. He hated this town, the only reason he was here was because of his friends, and the Formans. They made Point Place livable... if it weren't for them, he would have left a long time ago.

They were the only reason he was here. Hyde could stay in touch with the phone and mailing, maybe visit them after he had enough money. His friends would do better off without him, anyway. His rebellious ways held them back; after all, he made Kelso abandon all smarts. And Eric, he could be the smartest kid in class, if he wasn't trying to make acts to impress Donna and Hyde.

"All right." He replied, she looked at him with glittering eyes, though her face remained in a slight frown.

"Cool... so... in celebration, how about we have another protest?"

* * *

After their round of protesting, Hyde had said goodbye to Chrissy, received her phone number at the hotel, and took off for the basement. He'd have a lot of explaining to do with his friends, and he had three days to tell them, pack, say goodbye, and take off. 72 hours until he left Point Place, Wisconsin.

A part of him was happy about this fact. In New York, he'd have so much freedom, and so many things to do. There were tons of stores that he could visit, concert venues, and people like him that were conscious of the government's plot to manipulate and brainwash America. The bars were open late, he'd have an apartment by himself so he wouldn't have anyone to worry about. No Edna. It was too good to be true.

But in all honesty, he was sort of sad about leaving, too. The only person he would know is Chrissy, and he didn't even know her that well. Though that would give him room to meet new and awesome people, but he already knew awesome people here. Forman, he was his best friend, Hyde didn't have to say a damn thing, and that guy knew and understood, or tried. Then there was Donna, yeah, she hurt him, but she was always there for him, he had confided nearly everything with her. She knew him more than anyone. And Kelso... though Hyde didn't tell him the things he told Eric and Donna, they were still brothers, same with Fez. Those two guys could crack him up whenever he felt like nothing could even make him smile. Finally, he thought about Jackie; that girl pissed him off and made him want to run off a cliff sometimes, but... he didn't know what to think about her. There was someone else in her, someone she hid from everyone else, even Kelso, he could tell from even just looking at her. He felt bad for her, and she deserved better than Kelso. Plus he had a good time with her at the prom, and he thought it was... sweet that she had came to thank him.

He sighed softly as he walked up the Forman's street, he could see the house, could feel it's warmth. This would probably be one of the last times he'd walk through that sliding glass door. See Mrs. Forman and talk with her, and listen to Mr. Forman call someone a dumbass and lecture Eric. This house had been where he went to when he ran from home, didn't have a home to go to, or just wanted to hang. Eric's family had been the family he never had, they showed him what a real family was like, and treated him like their own. Even Laurie.

But he was leaving. There weren't enough reasons to stay than to leave. He would be better off, just like everyone else. They wouldn't have to worry about him at Edna's, or deal with his reckless behavior. This would be the best, for everyone.

Hyde walked down the cement stairs and shook his head of these thoughts. This was a good thing. This was the best thing that ever happened to him. No one could convince him otherwise.

"-When is it Fez turn? Where is my whore?"

Hyde walked into the basement with his legs far apart. Why? He didn't know; it would get their attention. And that's exactly what happened.

"Damn you, Hyde! Did you go horseback riding without me?" Hyde shook his head and saw Eric and Donna's amused, yet curious faces. Hyde sat on the arm of the couch and propped his head on his hands, that were resting on his knees. "No! I just met the most amazing woman. Chrissy! And she just ditched her entire life to start over in New York, man." He chirped, Donna's eyes lit up, she was intrigued. He glanced at Eric, who looked wary of the subject. "Wait! Wait. Why is she, why is she going to New York?" She asked, Hyde smirked. "She's gonna start a punk band!" Hyde replied, Donna grinned, yet Eric still looked suspicious; Hyde could tell he knew there was more than just Chrissy.

"A punk band, cool! What is punk, anyways?" Fez asked.

"Punk is the annihilistic outcry against the corporate rock 'n roll take over. It's the soundtrack to the revolution, man!" Hyde cried, making Eric and Donna both chuckle. "I thought you said Blue Oyster Cult was the soundtrack to the revolution." Eric chimed, Hyde sighed as Donna nodded.

"Look, man, the point is... she asked me to go with her." He watched his three friends' jaws drop in pure shock. When seeing their reactions, Hyde wasn't sure if this was a good idea to tell them.

"Whoa, whoa, why would you wanna go to New York?" Eric asked, staring at Hyde. Hyde just smiled. "Well, it's the big apple, man! The bars are open 'til four, it's where all the music is happening. Hey. If I can make it there-"

"You can't make it there!" Eric interrupted, Hyde glared at him momentarily, before continuing.

"But if I can make it there-"

"But you won't make it there!" He once again broke Hyde's sentence. Hyde snapped his head to look at his best friend, who looked horrified at the thought of Hyde leaving. Even Donna looked apprehensive, and Fez looked sad.

"Would you just listen? If I can make it there… Damn it, Forman, now I lost my train of thought!" Hyde growled, sighing heavily as he racked his brain for what he was going to say. He hadn't wanted an argument; their opinions didn't matter. His friends couldn't hold him back, this was his decision to make and he was leaving.

"Well, where will you live?" Donna asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll get an apartment somewhere in the-"

"With what money, Hyde?" Eric barked, Hyde rolled his eyes and groaned in annoyance at Eric's comeback.

"I have money, Forman." Hyde grumbled; two thousand dollars in cash. That would be enough for awhile. He had everything covered; his friends didn't have to worry about him. They never seemed to anyway, so why now?

"Hey guys!" Kelso chirped as he zipped down the basement stairs from the kitchen. Hyde sighed with relief as the pressure and questions were taken away from him for awhile. Kelso probably had something disgusting, pervy, or hilarious that he wanted to share. "Making smaller paddles is hard work!" Hyde just stared at his friend, unsure of what to say.

"Smaller paddles? What for?" Fez asked, Eric eyed Kelso momentarily before turning to answer Fez.

"Kelso and I were playing Pong, kay? He won... without even looking at the screen, he was reading! He said it was too easy-"

"It is-"

"Anyway, he said it was too easy now and he was tired of Pong. So then he got this brilliant idea to go and mess with the hardware of the console and make smaller paddles. Red's gonna kill him." Eric finished.

Hyde stared at his friends as this conversation unfolded. They wanted him to stay to deal with this? These conversations and moments at a null wouldn't help him get anywhere, he needed out. Yeah, he really liked his friends, but if he had the chance to get out of Point Place, he was taking it. Hyde needed something better than this, he needed-

"Hyde, get the stash!" He heard Kelso cry.

_Yep,' _Hyde thought as he high tailed it to the secret area he hid their stash in the basement; so that when Mrs. Forman did her deep scouring every two weeks, she nor Red would find it. _'this is exactly what I need,'_ he finished his thought as he pulled the loose brick behind the game shelf. Hyde felt the brown paper bag within the dark hollow space and yanked his hand out from the hole in the wall. Sliding the small gray slab back in its place, he turned around and rushed to his chair.

While he passed out the paraphernalia filled with ready-to-smoke hemp, he pulled out his Zippo lighter and lit the incense stick. Eric started on the homemade pipe that he had crafted, and Fez sucked in a huge gulp of smoke from one of the joints Hyde and Kelso made in their boredom.

"So Hyde... are you really leaving?" Eric asked after coughing from the inhalation. Hyde only nodded, in hopes that the conversation about New York would die. Yet he knew that would be too good to be true. "I don't know, Hyde. I mean, here, you're the cool guy. But, you know how many cool guys live in New York? There's like…Lou Reed, man! Do you wanna mess with that?"

He knew Eric was trying to persuade him to stay. Hyde was the cool guy... in their group. He was cool, but to a lot of other people he was a loser; a high school stoner with no potential. And in New York, he'd have a chance. Didn't Eric get that?

"Why do you want to leave Point Place? It is fun!" Fez asked, Hyde sighed softly as he dipped his finger in the jar of Skippy peanut butter.

Of course, Fez would think it was fun, considering he came from God knows where. And it was fun, because of his friends. If he didn't have Forman, Kelso, Donna, Fez, and... Jackie, then he would have left a long time ago. And they could still have fun without him.

"Yeah, it is fun, man! And, I'm gonna miss the hell outta you guys! But Chrissy's cool, and it's the Big Apple, man!" Hyde answered, knowing his reasons of leaving weren't as strong as theirs, yet he didn't care. "Hey, do you think Lou Reed's in the phone book? 'Cause I bet he'd really like me!" Hyde handed the jar of peanut butter to Kelso, who laughed quietly as he scooped a glob on his finger.

"Lou Reed..." he trailed off with a chuckle, "Where're you going? Who's Chrissy?" Hyde had forgotten that Kelso hadn't been there when he informed Eric and Fez about Chrissy, and his departure. He considered telling Kelso, but he was sick of the subject; none of them could persuade him not to go, and they didn't realize that!

"It's not so bad here, man! We got the TV, and peanut butter, and I got this thing!" He raised his eyebrow as Eric pulled up a paddle lacking the ball. "Well, the ball part rolled under the dryer."

"Hyde, you cannot leave," Fez caught his eye, "You gave me my first beer, remember? And then I threw up on that cop?" Hyde grinned, remembering that night clearly... that was a year ago.

"That was a good time, man!" He cried as he laughed along with Fez.

"Wait a minute! Back up! Nobody tells me anything! What's the ball doing under the dryer?" Kelso asked, sounding very concerned for the ball. Fez slumped his shoulders and sighed dejectedly as he stared at the table sadly.

"Aii... I was alone in the basement, and I was very bored. And things happened and now it's under the dryer." Hyde and Eric glanced at each other warily as they heard their foreign friend speak.

"What _things_?" Eric cautiously questioned, unsure if he wanted an answer.

"That ball hated me." Fez's voice darkened as he glared over to the freezer, "I had done nothing and it hit my nose and then I pulled off the ball and threw it on the table, and it bounced and it my head. So then I threw it at the dryer and it rolled under... I'm sorry Kelso." After listening to Fez's story, Hyde glanced over to Kelso, who was chortling.

Was he going to miss this? Finding humor in stories about balls under the dryer, and Kelso's antics, and Fez's emotions, and Eric's whining. Was he going to miss seeing Eric and Donna cuddling and kissing and driving everyone insane with their sexual tension? Or Jackie's bitchiness, and her and Kelso's on again/ off again romance? He didn't think so... and he wasn't sure if that was a good thing or not.

He could hear them laughing, but he had no clue what they were saying. Hyde looked at each one of them, smiling and laughing as they talked about things they wouldn't remember. These were his best friends, they were his brothers, and yet he didn't feel a thing but happiness about leaving them. What did that make him?

"Hyde? Earth to Hyde hell-oooo?" Kelso cried, waving his hand in his face. Hyde shook his head as he snapped out of his trance-like thoughts and sighed softly.

"Uh guys, I think I'm gonna head out," Hyde mumbled, staring straight at the door.

"What? Why?" He heard the suspicion in Eric's voice, he understood. It was weird for Hyde to just leave this early, half the time nowadays he just crashed in the basement; of course the Formans were more than happy about that. But to voluntarily leave was strange, even for him, but he had to. He had to think.

"I gotta pack," He mumbled, then caught Eric's cautious stare.

"What? Can't wait to leave?" Eric snapped, he almost sounded like he was hurt. Hyde just stood up.

"You know what, no, I can't." He hissed and then stormed out the basement, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

Hyde couldn't stand it... his thoughts were tormenting him, arguing just like him and his friends. Stay, or go? Yes, or no?

Once he walked up the last step leading to and from the basement, he ran. Hyde didn't know what else to do, where to go, what to say, how to feel. So he ran the streets in the night, trying to convert his thoughts from New York to 'how much longer of running before I puke?'

He didn't understand why leaving to New York meant so much to his friends. They didn't understand that this would be the best thing that ever happened to him, and them. Once he was gone and living in the big apple, he could figure out what the hell he was going to do. Here, he was stuck, pinned as a burnout who didn't care about anything or anyone. There, he could be different, he could lose the tags and put his past behind him; start fresh. And his friends, they would soon realize that they were better off without him. Of course, he would miss them, and they would miss him, but it wasn't like he'd completely forget them.

Hyde had ideas as to why they were so worried about him going. Maybe it was because of Chrissy, how he just met her and now was going to New York with her. Just because he just met her didn't mean they were going to live together. Sure, maybe it would turn out that way, but he didn't expect it to. Maybe they were concerned about how he'd turn out in New York... but he knew his future in New York was more prosperous than here. He expected to be in prison by 18 if he stayed in Point Place, but in New York... things would be different. He just felt it.

But Hyde knew those ideas were wrong. He knew the real reason they didn't want him going to New York. He just couldn't bring himself to think it, to accept it or agree. They cared about him.

He knew it was true. They were all brothers sisters, not biologically, but they had all been there for over a decade. They grew up with each other, and they had the matching scars on their arms from becoming "blood siblings" back when they were ten. They cared about him and he cared about them. He'd sacrifice his life without a second thought for Forman, Kelso, Donna, Fez, Mr. and Mrs. Forman, even Jackie and Laurie. They were his real family... and he knew it hurt them to watch him leave. But he had to.

* * *

"Mom? Where's my suitcase?" Hyde called from his bedroom two days later.

This was it, this was really it, he realized as he stared at the small amount of items he would be packing. He couldn't take everything he owned; he'd actually be leaving a lot. He packed a week's worth of clothes, cigarettes, and his stash. He felt the lingering dull ache as he realized that he couldn't take the guitar his grandparents had given him, or the tape recorder his friends had given him long ago. But he had given up majority of his clothes so he could take the wooden box his grandpa made. If he only took that, he'd be fine; everything else could be forgotten.

"Why?" She screamed from the living room, Hyde sighed softly and walked out of his bedroom.

"Why do you care?" He hissed, folding his arms across his stomach as he glared at her. Edna took a swig from her Jack Daniels and shrugged her shoulders.

"You better give me a straight answer before I beat the fucking shit out of you." Hyde rolled his eyes as he walked to the living room closet, ignoring her threat. She was drunk and high anyway, the only thing she could do was fall on her face when she stood up.

"Oh how I've missed this," Hyde grumbled sarcastically as he finally felt the coarse cloth of his suitcase. He pulled out the olive green rucksack and slammed the door shut.

"What the hell do you think you're doing?" She barked, throwing her empty bottle at him. He watched it spin through the air nearly a foot away from his shoulder.

"Nice aim," he growled as he walked over the shattered glass. He heard her stand up and bump into the coffee table and he snickered.

"Steven James, answer my goddamn question!" Edna roared, Hyde groaned in annoyance as he reluctantly turned around.

"I am taking this suitcase to my room, then I'm packing some clothes in it."

"Where do you think you're going?" She hissed. He considered telling her the truth; that he was leaving for New York and he'd never see or hear from her again. But as he stared at the frail woman with dull brown hair and yellowed eyes, he thought better of it.

"Staying at Forman's." He mumbled, she slammed her fist on the wall.

"Dammit, Steven, that family is no good for you!" She cried, Hyde felt his lip curl in a scowl and his eyes glared at her like daggers.

"You know what family isn't good for me? THIS family!" Hyde screamed, he watched Edna shake as she stumbled closer to him.

"This isn't even a family, Steven! This is a mother who's stuck with her ungrateful mistake of a son!" Hyde shook his head and turned around.

"Fuck it, ma, I'm taking my suitcase and leaving." He walked into his room and heard her following him as he hurriedly stuffed his belongings into the bag. Edna just glared at him with glazed eyes as he tied the strings of the bag together so nothing would fall out.

"Your suitcase? That's not your suitcase!" She cried. Hyde just groaned angrily as he slung the barely filled rucksack over his shoulder.

"It is too my suitcase!" He hollered back at her, causing her to laugh in hysterical anger.

"Nothing in this house is yours!" She shouted, Hyde just walked towards the screen door; the last time he would ever walk through this door.

"Shut up!" He growled, slamming the door shut behind him. "Bitch," he mumbled, then spotted Forman sitting on his front porch.

Great, he was here to try to talk him out of this. His bag was full, he yelled at the Formans (which would be the very last time he saw them, which nearly killed him inside) and wouldn't even go to the basement. There was nothing Eric could say or do to make him stay here. He didn't belong here.

"So your mom's taking it pretty hard, huh?" Eric asked, Hyde scoffed as he sat down next to Eric.

"Oh, I haven't told her yet." Eric raised his eyebrows as Hyde spoke, which didn't surprise Hyde. Eric thought Hyde's home life was pretty bad but had no idea what really went on.

"So Hyde, you're like…really going through with this?" Eric sounded wary as he asked the question he already knew the answer to.

"Yeah, man. I mean, you know, I know people spit on you there and the rats are as big as your head or whatever, but this might be my only chance to escape, Forman," he hoped Eric would understand, he didn't expect him to, he expected him to be angry.

"Hey, you can't leave now. Hyde, We're finally getting old enough to do some serious damage to this town! Remember? We were gonna paint that pot leaf on the water tower?" Hyde chuckled at Eric's weak pleas, and shook his head.

"Vandalism, while tempting, is not enough reason for me to stay. Plus, you can do that without me." They could do everything without him. They didn't need him, and they'd realize that soon.

"But we won't do that without you. Hyde, you're the reason we do so many stupid, senseless things!" Was that supposed to make him feel good? Because stupid, senseless things would end up getting them in trouble, and though he didn't care about _him_ getting in trouble, he didn't want his friends to. And once he was gone, they'd realize that they were better off without him.

"Yeah, that is true," he mumbled, catching his best friend's eye momentarily.

"Hyde, I've never told this to another human being, but I…I… I cannot get Donna's bra off." That certainly didn't surprise him.

"Hooks or snaps?" He asked, Eric sighed exasperatedly.

"Both! She keeps throwing me change ups!" Hyde sighed and rested his chin on his hand, while his arm was propped on his knees.

"Alright, here's what you do, okay? You buy a bra, and you practice on it at home. Then you give it to Donna as a gift." Hyde couldn't exactly remember a time that he had trouble taking a bra off, then again most girls he made out with or had sex with usually weren't wearing bras. Yet, obviously Forman needed help.

"See? That's brilliant! You're like, an evil genius, man!" Eric cried, Hyde chuckled softly and nodded, "and when you're gone, all I'll have is Kelso or Fez to get advice from and... bleh," Eric shuddered at the thought and Hyde shrugged his shoulders as the two friends sat and talked on his front porch.

"Well, it's not like you'll never hear from me again, Forman." Hyde said, staring at the street ahead of him, he could practically feel his best friend's confidence deflate as all hopes of persuading Hyde went down the drain. "Come on, man, this will be the-"

"Hyde, is it so bad here?" Eric interrupted. "I mean, is it Edna? Why do you want to go?" Hyde knew that question was bound to come up by someone eventually, and he was hoping that by avoiding the basement he wouldn't have to answer. "I mean, even Jackie said she'd miss you, and that's like... Jackie!"

"Forman, you don't get it, none of you get it. This is gonna be it, this is gonna be the best thing for me, for you, for everyone. There's no point in trying to keep me here. You know I hate it, man." Eric sighed heavily and turned to face Hyde. Eric understood, but he wouldn't see eye to eye with his long time best friend.

"Fine, Hyde, go to New York... but just remember, we've always been there for you. We've always tried to make it better. I hope it's worth it, man." Eric mumbled, watching as Hyde stood up.

"I know," Hyde murmured, smiling at his best friend, who followed his movements and stood as well. "Thanks, Eric." Eric's jaw dropped in awe as Hyde said his first name, which was very rare to hear. "Tell everyone I say bye, okay? And that I'm gonna miss 'em. And tell Red and Kitty I'm sorry..." Eric just laughed and nodded.

"They'll say that they're gonna miss you, and you'll want to call Mom as soon as possible." Hyde nodded and shuffled his feet, feeling slightly sick to his stomach as he realized he was about to leave his friends, his life, everything behind.

"See ya around, Hyde," Eric mumbled, holding out his hand, Hyde smiled faintly and nodded.

"Yeah, see ya, Forman," He outstretched his hand as well, and was about to shake Eric's hand, but thought better of it. Hyde hugged Eric, which he knew _'shocked the hell' _out of him. But they were best friends, and shaking hands would be more awkward than hugging. He patted his back twice before letting go, and when seeing Eric's shocked face, shrugged his shoulders.

"I'll miss ya, man," Hyde mumbled, then turned and walked down the sidewalk. He scuffed his boots on the concrete as he headed to the motel that Chrissy was staying at.

Fortunately for him, it was only a few blocks away from his house. Yet it also meant that he would be that much closer to leaving Point Place. Leaving his friends behind, all of their memories; like climbing on the water tower in 7th grade, going to the lake nearly every year, cruising the town, going to concerts, just sitting and talking and doing absolutely nothing yet feeling more alive than ever. Was he ready to say goodbye to all of this, the place he grew up in? Was he ready to leave his only friends in life and the people who made him the happiest? All for a chick he met a few days ago?

"Dammit," he hissed, turning around. He hoped Eric wasn't still there, yet he figured he would have gone back to tell Donna and his parents that he left. He didn't want to think about if he did leave... what would they be like? He didn't want his friends to call him every day, then talk to him less and less until they didn't call or write at all and then they forget about him completely. He didn't want to be in their memories, he wanted to be with them.

_'This town has a freaking leash on me,'_ he thought angrily as he neared his house once more. He'd be living here, with Edna. He'd have to deal with her anger, her drunken fury and drugs lying around the house. He'd have to put up with his torture otherwise known as school, and all of the brainwashed zombies that lifelessly walked the halls. He'd have to deal with Kelso and Jackie's constant fighting, Eric and Donna's making out, Fez's perviness, and Red threatening to put his foot up his ass... But he realized he wouldn't have it any other way.

Chrissy, while being a cool chick, probably wouldn't stick around once she got to New York. She was going to be in a band, and what was he going to do? Steal from stores to supply food for a day? Sleep in the streets? Living with Edna sure as hell beat that.

As he walked through his front door, he saw Edna sprawled on the floor, passed out from her binge drinking. He stepped over her too-thin body and quickly made his way to his room. He tried his best to be quiet, but over the years, the floor boards grew creakier and creakier as the wooden base began to rot out. Hyde opened the door to his bedroom door with force; he began to take care of his possessions less and less, so now they were scattered and blocking the entry way. He squeezed through the small crack and kicked back the piles of clothes by the door. He pulled the sack through the doorway and tossed it softly on his bed, then shut the door softly.

He knew he wasn't going to be home tonight, so he walked up to Edna's collapsed form and gently lifted her in his arms. Though she was still nearly as light as a feather, she had somehow gained some weight, yet he didn't understand how. But he didn't care; he had to say goodbye to Chrissy, and Edna was only holding him back.

Hyde nudged her bedroom door open and carefully poked his toes around the floor to make sure he wouldn't trip on anything. Pulling back the blankets, he lied her down on the large bed and quickly covered her with her three sets of covers. He shook his head as he stared at her momentarily, then took off to the motel once again; this time by car.

Hyde ran out the screen door once again and almost lost his footing as he skipped a step on the porch. He didn't know what to say to Chrissy, but she probably wouldn't be upset.

Hyde turned the key in the ignition and heard the engine rattle and wheeze as the car started; this car was about to die. He pulled the shift to reverse, then sped down the short driveway, turning the wheel as he did so. While on the grass of his unkempt lawn, Hyde switched the gear into drive and floored it down the street.

Whether he went to New York or stayed, he had no future. But here, he at least had a shelter, and... a supply of alcohol. He really hoped he was making the right decision by staying; if he regretted this in a week, he was leaving without a word. But deep down, he knew this was the right choice- staying in Point Place was his best bet.

As he drove down Vine street, he sighed softly and turned up the radio.

"_If I leave here tomorrow, would you still remember me? For I must be traveling on, now, 'cause there's too many places I've got to see-_" Hyde groaned as the beginning verse of _"Freebird"_ by Lynyrd Skynrd played; that was ironic. He switched the dial and smiled as Led Zeppelin's _"D'yer Mak'er"_ began to blare from the speakers.

Hyde stared at the motel in front of him, and sighed as he slowly turned into its parking lot. He saw Chrissy's Vespa parked in front of her room and smiled softly. While the Vespa was pretty cool, he was a Harley kind of guy.

Hyde took a deep breath and turned off the station wagon, then climbed out of the torn seat. He slammed the door shut and dragged his feet on the asphalt as he slowly made his way to her door. She had given him one of two keys, and said when he got there to just walk right in. Hyde bit his lip and unlocked the door, then slowly turned the knob.

Chrissy nodded in his direction as she acknowledged his presence, then zipped her bag shut. "Hey, where's your bag?" She asked, eying him curiously. Hyde remained silent, unsure of what to say; he never was good with words. "You're not going..."

"No..." he began, "but I'd like to mount another protest if you have the time." Chrissy chuckled and shook her head, then hooked her bag over her arm. He smiled sadly at her as she walked up to him, then felt her lips on his as she kissed him softly.

"Here's my uh... friends number in New York," Chrissy murmured, handing him a piece of paper with a quickly scrawled phone number on it. He nodded, then felt her push him softly. "Don't call me!" He chuckled.

"Yeah, I won't," he replied, smirking, "hey, Chrissy, you mind if I steal the towels?"

"Sorry, I already got 'em!" He grinned and she waved at him, then silently walked out of her motel room door. Hyde sighed softly and looked around the room, trying to find something he could take. As he scanned the small motel room, his eyes caught the dull ash tray sitting on the table. Tipping over the glass tray, he emptied the ashes, then stuffed it in his pocket, then took one last look at the room before he left.

Hyde wasn't sure what his friends would say when they saw him the next morning. He could think of three options A) they would laugh at him. B) They would be mad at him. C) They would be happy. He wasn't sure which one would be the most likely, but he was leaning more towards options A or C.

Chrissy had been cool, and New York would have been fun... but his friends were the most important thing to him. Plus, he had to make his mark on the town before he left, the countless houses they trenched just didn't satisfy him. Besides, he wouldn't be _him_ without his friends.

The ten minute drive to his home seemed to go on endlessly, until he passed his house. Then he'd once again find himself on the streets, walking... but this time he had a destination. He figured it would be a nice surprise for his friends when they went down in the basement the next day to see his sleeping self on the couch.

Once he parked the car, he shut the door and ran down the street. This time, he found himself running, not to clear his head or make himself pass out, but to just see the Forman's house again. It was pretty much his home, he was there more than with Edna, and he felt awful about his last conversation with Mr. and Mrs. Forman; they had been looking out for him, but he was defiant.

He knew Mrs. Forman would be ecstatic to see him and probably wouldn't let him go for a good ten minutes. He figured Red would be happy as well, yet he'd keep it to himself and instead of welcoming him back, he'd threaten a thousand feet in one ass.

Hyde stopped running when he caught sight of the warm and welcoming home. A smile spread on his face as he realized what all he'd be missing. This is where he hung out ever since he was five, where he felt all right. And to think, he almost shoved all of that in his past for false hope in a new city. He knew sometimes his life sucked, but at least he had somewhere safe and warm he could go to when he needed it.

At that, he grinned toothily and sped toward home.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hope you liked it! Not sure on the ending, it's abrupt, but I think it's fitting. Look for "Water Tower" coming soon! (hopefully)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie  
**_


	47. Home

**Author's Note: Hello all! I suppose it has been quite awhile, hasn't it? My life has been pretty hectic right now which is why I haven't updated in forever, and updates won't be as frequent as I wish; I apologize for that. Yet when I do update, I'm going to make sure that the chapter is well worth the wait and hope for your understanding and patience :). Besides, come summer time there will probably be two updates everyday because I'm awesome and have no life whatsoever. **

**I thought I should inform you that after five trials, I gave up on "Water Tower." I wish I had the motivation for it, but I wrote little bits of it and after a certain point I just tossed it. It didn't really have the heart that I try to put in the chapters. I may have it as a deleted scene... but I dunno. **

**Now to the professional side of this (wait, this is fan fiction, there is no professional side to it -cough-) anywho, I will tell you that these next chapters will be quite dark and slightly AU, so don't hate me. Actually, I wouldn't consider it AU, but... the softer side of Hyde, because he does have an emotional side, am I right? Yes, I am. It's rare, but it's there.(ooh that rhymed- sorry, I'm in a great mood.) But these chapters will be darker, I just thought I'd let you all know :).**

**I just wanted to thank you all for reading, reviewing, and being awesome people. It means a lot, I know this is fan-fiction and all but still, it's really cool to have people actually reading my work :). You're all awesome and I'd give you all hugs if it was humanly possible to do so through a computer. **

**Hope you enjoy the latest installment to the story, and stay warm! (I have lost the feeling in my toes D:)**

**Love,**

**Angie**

_**

* * *

**_

_I'll be coming home; just to be alone. 'Cause I know you're not there, and I notice you don't care. I can hardly wait to leave this place. No matter how hard I try, you're never satisfied; this is not a home, I think I'm better off alone. You always disappear, even when you're here; this is not my home, I think I'm better off alone. By the time you come home, I'm already stoned. You turn off the TV and you scream at me. I can hardly wait 'til you get off my case. No matter how hard I try, you're never satisfied; this is not a home, I think I'm better off alone. You always disappear, even when you're here; this is not my home, I think I'm better off alone. This house is not a home..._

For a Wisconsin spring night, it was hot and humid. As Hyde made his way home from hanging out at the basement, his t-shirt and jeans clung to his clammy skin. It was unusual for a mid-May night to be so warm, usually the weather around this time was cool and rainy. Hyde didn't mind, except he had a coat of sweat soaking through his clothes, his favorite shirt and newest pair of jeans, nonetheless.

He considered walking to the reservoir and staying there all night, but he had no way to get there. Edna had taken her car in for repairs (even though he could more than likely be able to fix whatever was wrong.) Or that's what he had thought she had done, until she came home with $500 and a bottle of tequila. She had sold her car and didn't have a job since she was only the lunch-lady. Edna said it was his job to pay the rent and the bills; the final shut off notice for electricity had been issued that morning.

The beginning of his summer was spent wandering the streets. Most of the time he avoided his mom and home at all costs at the Forman's house except when Mr. Forman was tired of having to feed him. Their days were spent lounging, eating, sleeping, smoking, and drinking; and these were the best years of their lives. Hyde wasn't complaining much- the lack of time with his mother was great, and doing nothing but killing brain cells sounded like a good time.

But now, after being away from his home for five days and nights, (two of the three nights were spent sleeping at the park near his house like as a kid) Hyde finally decided that he _needed_ to go home. He had to go home and deal with the damage Edna had done to their already shattered lives. And it wasn't just the bills and the lack of transportation that angered him.

Ever since he returned home from almost leaving to New York, Edna had been worse than her usual self. It wasn't just her drunken screaming and weak punches anymore; she just gave up. Hyde noticed her gradually deteriorating to a frail alcoholic who only got up to throw up. Whenever he was home, he tried to get her to eat or drink, but she would just sleep, and ignore all attempts of silent kindness from her son. It didn't bother him much, or at least he told himself that... it was her choice to let herself slip away. It wasn't up to him to play parent; he had himself to take care of.

But here he was, staring at the broken screen door that was nearly off its hinges, coming to see if his dear old mom was all right. Sighing, Hyde pushed open the door and was greeted with the familiar scent of pot smoke, alcohol, and vomit. His eyes caught sight of a small suitcase propped on the coffee table, and he felt a cold wave rush through his veins. Hyde slowly looked around the room to notice anything different, when he heard exactly what he was searching for. Two sounds, from two different rooms. A loud thump was heard from the wall of his mother's room, and at the same time, the refrigerator door slammed shut.

Confusion rushed through him. Edna hadn't had any guys over for awhile now, and she hardly went out, so he didn't think it was a new "love interest." But she hadn't seen Molly in ages, either, and that was even less likely. Edna didn't have a job, didn't have any money, or a car, so he had no clue what she was doing and how she would do it.

"Mom?" Hyde asked as he stood in the quiet living room. He heard a heavy sigh come from the kitchen and moments later saw Edna, actually moving around, and holding a paper bag. She stared at him with glassy blue eyes that seemed to bug out of her sockets.

"Steven..." she murmured, dragging her lifeless body towards him. Hyde's eyes narrowed as he gazed at the full sack- what was in there?

"What are you doing?" He asked her, suspicion tainting his voice. She sighed as she shrugged her shoulders.

"I'm leaving." She replied, Hyde rolled his eyes as he scoffed.

"Oh that's just great..." he hissed sarcastically, "another three weeks? Don't forget to call _uncle John_ when you-"

"Steven, I'm not coming back." She announced, for the first time in ages her voice sounded confident.

Hyde's stomach sank. Did he just hear right? Edna was leaving... for good? She was leaving him here, alone, with this mess to pick up, to deal with. He should have been happy, he should be jumping up and down with excitement, but he wasn't. He felt sick.

"What the hell?" He cried, "you can't just leave, mom!"

"Steven, God dammit, for once in my life I am doing something I want to do!"

"Good for you, ma, but you can't just-"

"Just shut up, shut up, Steven! All you ever fucking did was bring me to where I am now! All I've ever wanted was a chance to get away from you and now I can!" Hyde's lips curled downward in a scowl as Edna shrieked the words she always told him. Except this time, it was true... his mom was actually leaving.

His mouth formed the words he just wanted to scream and shout at her, but there was no voice. Hyde's body trembled with such rage and fury, yet all he could do was stand in the middle of the living room, practically paralyzed as he stared at his mom. His mom who, for the first time in years, looked happy.

"Why?" He finally asked- that wasn't what he wanted to say, but now as his vocal chords began to work once again, to ask the one question he had always wanted to ask came through. "What did I ever do to make you hate me?" His voice shook with the emotion he couldn't contain.

"What did you- what didn't you do, Steven? You're a menace, a disgrace! You killed my son, you made me lose Bud, you ruined my life by-"

"By being born? I couldn't help it, it was YOUR God damn fault for getting pregnant in the first place! If it was up to me I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN BORN AT ALL!" Hyde shouted, his fists clenched so tightly that his knuckles appeared to almost pop out of his skin.

"God dammit Steven I said SHUT THE FUCK UP! All of this, all of this is your fault, I wish I had listened to my parents and got a fucking abortion!" Hyde's eyes widened behind his sunglasses at his mom's words. Teeth still clenched, he felt his stomach knot at the mention of his grandparents and an abortion. They wanted her to kill him? Throughout all of those years of showering him with love and affection he never felt otherwise, were they secretly wishing the same thing his mom was? "I can't stand this, I can't stand you. I just need you to-"

"SORRY!" Hyde bellowed darkly, "Sorry I was such a fucking burden! Sorry I made everyone's life a living hell! But you don't get it, you don't fucking get it! It isn't my fault, none of it is! I didn't make you get pregnant, I didn't kill Chris, I didn't kick Bud out, I did everything I thought would make me a _good little boy_, ma! I took the beatings, I took EVERYTHING because you made me believe it was _my fault!_ But it's not! I didn't get you stuck in this mess! You only dragged me down with you! It's all your fault! All I ever did was try to make you LOVE ME!" Hyde screamed at the top of his lungs. His glare focused on Edna who held her face in her hands, her body quaking with heavy sobs. He didn't feel any remorse for her, he only felt better.

"I hate you." Edna growled, slowly lifting her head, "I hate you, Steven. I hate you! I hate you!" Edna repeated over and over, her voice gradually raising until it seemed the entire house shook from the effect of her voice. He watched as she collapsed on the floor, doubled over as she wept loudly.

As Hyde opened his mouth to speak, a pair of strong arms gripped his shoulders and shoved him against the wall. Hyde hadn't been prepared for a sudden push and felt his head smack against the drywall. There he was; the man Edna was leaving with, leaving for. He was quite a bit taller than Hyde, and was much bulkier, but Hyde could take him.

The man's beefy hands held his biceps like cuffs as he pinned him against the wall. Hyde felt his chest rise and fall with every furious breath he took. His sunglasses had fallen from his face when his head hit the wall, so his menacing glare was now exposed. He hadn't dealt with one of Edna's violent boyfriends in a long time.

"What the fuck?" Hyde growled, shoulders tense as he spoke.

"Haven't you learned respect, you little fucker? You heard your mother when she told you to be quiet. Why'd you beat a woman down like that? And your own mom?" Hyde felt his anger reach the boiling point at this poor excuse of a man's accusations: he thought he hit his own mom. Of all the years he even had the slightest temptation to push his mom in _self defense_, he had never and would never lay a hand on her. Edna knew what he went through, more than anyone (unfortunately,) and though he was a little aggressive with his friends, he'd never hurt someone he cared about out of _rage_. But this asshole was different.

"You need to be taught a lesson," the new boyfriend said, Hyde watched from over the guy's shoulder as Edna stood up, her sadistic smirk falling as she heard the development of the one-sided conversation.

"Dave," she murmured, slowly walking up to the two; Hyde rolled his eyes. So she hated him, yet when it came to potential abuse she'd try to save him? He felt repulsion consume him as she tapped Dave's shoulder.

"Don't touch me!" The man shouted, Edna jumped back.

"Can we just go?" Edna asked, Hyde felt his grip loosen on the inside of his forearms.

"You better be glad your mama's so nice, boy," Dave grumbled, Hyde's face remained frozen, yet his mind was racing, waiting.

As he let go of Hyde's shoulder, the sixteen year old balled his fist. He wasn't going to let some fat drunk accuse _him_ of abuse. He wasn't going to watch the two of them leave here happily. Hyde wasn't going to allow his mother to abandon him, to leave with the satisfaction of watching him submit. Or get away without feeling some form of remorse towards the past sixteen years of hell.

"Dave!" Edna shrieked as Hyde's fist smashed into the older man's jaw. The sound of his mother's voice crying out in defense for this guy instead of worrying about her son caused his fury to turn aggressive. As his fists pounded as forcefully and mercilessly as Hyde could muster, he could feel the stronger man retaliate. The blow to his temple didn't hurt much, but as the forty-something year old man smashed his knuckles against his lip, he felt his top row of teeth sink deeply into the soft tissue of his gums.

A rush of warm copper-tasting liquid flooded Hyde's mouth instantly after he pried his teeth apart from his bottom gum. Jagged fingernails dug into his shoulder and shoved him away from Dave right before he barreled into the beefy man.

"Steven, stop!" Edna cried, Hyde glanced up from the carpet as he spit a stream of blood. Her eyes were soaked with tears as she gazed at him with such distaste. He felt his stomach squirm as she turned away and held tightly onto Dave's shoulders, whispering into his ear.

So it was his fault once more? Was that what she was doing? Hyde's eyes stared icily at his mother as he gently rubbed his index finger over his bleeding gum. He could feel his mouth throbbing in pain and knew that he'd have a massive fat lip come morning. As Hyde pulled his hand away, his eyes caught sight of the blood that coated his fingers and wrinkled his nose in disgust.

He couldn't believe what Edna was doing. He didn't understand how in six hours she had gone from laying in her room sleeping to preparing to abandon her son. But what he didn't understand was- why wasn't he happy? All his life he wished that Edna would leave him alone and get out of his life; he hated his mom more than anything and everyone. In fact he'd rather join the military than hug his own mother. But why did her leaving him now bother him? Why did he put up a fight? If this had happened a day ago he would have smiled and waved as she walked out the door, or he thought he would at least.

Hyde watched as Edna picked up her suitcase that lay in front of the coffee table and began to walk towards the door. As she walked, he could feel the angry tension practically suffocate the air in the room and he couldn't take it anymore.

"So what?" Hyde began, catching Edna's attention; she glanced up at him from the doorway. "You're gonna leave your son for some man who doesn't give two shits about you?" Hyde barked, he found it was getting harder to speak as his lip was beginning to swell.

"I have no son," Edna murmured, then shut the door.

Hyde stared at the spot in which she had stood just moments before, once more his whole body shook with the anger he failed to contain. _She had no son_. So what did that make him? A rotten piece of meat?This... she was insane. He had watched her crumble bit by bit over the past few months and he couldn't take her zombie-like presence. Hyde had wanted her gone, out of his life for so long, and this had to be the best thing for both of them. All he had ever wanted finally happened, so why did he feel miserable and angry at her leaving?

She couldn't leave a sixteen year old to pay for rent and bills and try to keep himself alive. They had already had shut-off notices for the electricity and water. The rent was due three weeks ago and this was the third month they hadn't paid it; after this they- _he_ would be evicted.

He was alone. Edna had left him out of selfishness and loathing. He knew she couldn't handle knowing that what he said, what everyone said in Point Place was true. So she decided to pack her bags and leave everything behind, including the son she should care about, but didn't. She never cared about him, and though he always knew it subconsciously, the realization hit him harder than a freight train.

"FUCK!" Hyde screamed at the top of his lungs, vocal chords aching from his piercingly loud roar. What was he supposed to do now? What the hell was he going to do?

Hyde reached to his right and ripped the lamp off of the small end table that sat next to the recliner. When he pulled the lamp, the cord plugged into the socket ripped from the metal base. Hyde chucked the lamp as hard as he could; the sound of shattered glass and the screen door breaking in two was heard moments later. Next he crushed the glass end table- glass shards of every shape and size flew throughout the room, and scattered across the carpeted floor. He never took his uncontrollable anger out on people, but objects.

After ten minutes of throwing, breaking, crushing, and ripping things, including their grandfather clock, Hyde slammed his fists repeatedly into the wall; hoping that the pain that shocked through his hands and knuckles would somehow calm him down. A drop fell onto his balled fist and he paused momentarily, searching for the blood that must have dripped from his mouth. Yet he didn't see any blood; only a clear droplet trickling down his thumb.

The sixteen year old stood stock still in the middle of the living room. His shoulders and chest were heaving with erratic, deep breaths, his throat was dry and tasted of blood. It wasn't until he blinked that he realized where the clear water had come from.

_'Great,'_ Hyde thought, sliding down now dented living room wall. _'Now I'm crying...'_ he hadn't known he had been crying, didn't know why he was. He, didn't cry. He didn't have emotions; trained himself at a young age to not show or tell anyone what was on his mind, and what irked his soul. But... he was alone. There wasn't anyone anywhere near his home. Hyde must have started crying when he was throwing stuff, otherwise he would have known and stopped himself. But... why couldn't he stop now?

"Dammit," Hyde murmured as he wiped his tear-soaked eyes. He wasn't supposed to care, he wasn't supposed to show feelings and he never cried. Never. That wasn't Hyde-like. But he realized as he sat, curled into a ball on the ground, that none of this would be _Hyde_. He had abandoned his zen as soon as he walked through that door; he always did. Here, he realized, he showed his emotions more than Eric... here: he was Steven Hyde. Not Hyde. Kelso and Jackie were right; he had a facade he put up as soon as he walked through that door. He put on the robotic act and walked around like he didn't give a fuck about anything or anyone. But when he came back home, he abandoned that shell, that protection.

He felt like he was five years old all over again. Sitting in the corner of the living room, bawling his eyes out as he watched his parents shout and abuse each other, then walk out that very same door. Sometimes it was just Bud who left, sometimes it was Edna, and when it was just his mom, Bud would take his anger out on him. Kick him around a few times, yell at him for crying, _"man up, you little pussy boy, man up!"_ Then kick and beat him some more. Edna would just stare at him from the couch and down a Jack or two. But he had seen his father walk out the door for the last time and never come back, and he had been so relieved. He cried, of happiness. And he had watched as Edna left, admitting she had no son and he cried; as a sixteen year old man. Men don't cry, and if Bud were here... Hyde shuddered at the thought and curled his knees tighter to his chest.

He could almost feel the steel-toed boots dig into his rib cage and bruise his abdomen. He could almost hear his dad screaming at him "_What the fuck is your problem? You're a fucking pussy, you little faggot! You gonna cry like a queer? I'll give you something to cry about boy! I'll give you something to fucking cry about!"_ He could nearly smell the sweat and the alcohol and nicotine radiate off of his father's breath and clothes; usually it didn't disgust him. But his parents had always reeked of the smells, so bad that as a child it made him vomit.

When Bud left, Edna would sit down next to him and smack him upside the head, then hold him close. Did she care about him then? He thought she did.

"_Stevie, be a good boy, for your dad. Don't you go cryin' now, you gotta be a good boy, a big boy. Big boys don't cry."_ Back then, she showed him such tenderness; maybe she was scared too. Maybe she loved him back then. Or she felt bad for what Bud did to him. He didn't get to bask in her tenderness and nurture very often, but he remembered a couple times she would hold him, wipe away his tears and caress him until he fell asleep.

"_Don't worry, Stevie, everything's gonna be okay; I promise. Shh... you're safe with me. I love you, baby." _

Hyde's eyes stung and his throat tightened as he heard her cooing voice reassure a three-year old him that she did love him. She had loved him once, she had wanted him safe in the past. But that concern had dwindled to hatred and torture, far worse than Bud's, which he didn't think was possible. But it was a different kind of pain, a different kind of torture.

Bud had never showed him kindness, the kindest thing that man had ever done was left him when he was eight. But Edna... at one point did love her oldest son. And hearing her constant declaration of loathing and disgust towards him was a silent pain he tried to pass off as a nagging headache.

"_Steven, what the fuck did you do? You can never do anything right God dammit! How the fuck did I get stuck with your lard ass-"_

"_To be fair, I weight 150 pounds ma, I don't really think that's-"_

"_God dammit Steven, shut the fuck up! You want me to wipe that smirk of your fuckin' face boy?"_

Hyde had subconsciously hoped, yearned for Edna to show him that deep down she cared. That she still loved her son, despite all that happened. But that was wishful thinking; he knew he was the biggest mistake of her life. Of everyone's life.

In his eyes, even as a child, he saw himself as two different people. One- a tough, careless young man with a rebellious side. The other- the boy he never was able to be. His mind flickered back and forth between past and present, seeing this same view as a young man, and as a little boy; both were the same. Both were hurt, scared, and wishing for the same thing. Both knew that their silent pleas would go unanswered;no one would even notice something was wrong.

_'Nothing is wrong,'_ Hyde tried to convince himself, things were okay. Edna was the worst thing in his life, and now she was gone. He could finally breathe without being smacked. This wasn't going to be so bad; he'd just stay at the Forman's house most of the day, then come home; act like things were normal. _'Things are normal,'_ Hyde inwardly corrected himself, sighing heavily as he stared wistfully at the broken door.

What was he doing? Why was he sitting there, afraid? He wanted this, he wanted his parents gone, and finally they were. This was the best thing to ever happen to him. Was he waiting for Edna to walk through the doorway, with bag in hand, laughing and saying "April Fools?" No. Because she was gone; so why dwell on it? This was great for him. Things were going to get better.

"Edna's gone," he murmured, slowly standing up from his curled position. "Edna... is gone." He repeated, feeling his lips painfully curl upwards in a soft smirk.

Hyde dragged himself to the bathroom to catch a glimpse of the fat lip he could already feel. The corners of his mouth and chin were caked with dried blood; when he saw his reflection in the mirror he compared himself to looking like a cannibal. Hyde sighed softly and gently pulled out his lower lip, wincing as he stretched the wounds. He could see the deep bite marks in his gums that were still oozing with blood, and his teeth were stained red. Hyde grabbed a plastic cup at the side of the sink and filled it with warm water to swish and rinse his mouth.

He wasn't used to the silence. By now Edna would be pounding on the bathroom door and shouting at him for being in there too long. Hyde shook his head at his thought, then spit out the water that now took on a light red color.

Catching a quick glimpse of the mirror, Hyde did a double-take. His mind was replaying the past, the nights he'd cleaned his cuts and wrap his arms and legs from the beatings he'd receive from Bud, and Edna's countless abusive boyfriends. It was like a movie playing in his head, black and white and fuzzy, replaying the nights of his childhood. Where he'd sit up in a curled ball, staring at his wooden door, waiting to watch the knob turn, waiting to hear the yelling. And Bud would walk in with a broken beer bottle, mad eyes and a fist raised at the ready. Edna would stand in the hallway, cradling her own broken body as she whimpered feeble pleas to her abusive husband to leave him alone. But as time passed and Bud grew more and more violent, she watched in silence.

As he stared in the mirror, he could imagine himself as a young boy all over again, gazing at his marred reflection. Back then his skin was usually black and blue from the countless beatings and slams against the wall. Or red and raw from being sliced by broken beer bottles and Bud's switchblade, on top of burns from his lighter, cigarettes, and from being dragged across the carpet. He peered at the reflection of his cheek, where he could still see the faintest scar, running from his upper lip to his eye lid; you couldn't tell it was there unless you actually looked for it. Same for the scars on his limbs and torso.

But he wasn't that little boy, he hadn't been for nearly a decade. The bruise forming on his temple didn't bug him at all, and his lip would heal in a couple of days- hopefully. That little boy he used to be would have ran after her, begging her to please just stay; he'd make things all right. He'd apologize for being a bad boy and try to be better for her.

"_Ma, I'm sorry, please, I didn't mean to! I was just hungry!"_

"_Steven, dammit you made me step on a piece of glass... come here. NOW!"_

"_I'm sorry, mom... I'm sorry! I'm sorry..."_

"_Sorry? You're sorry? I cut my God damn foot and you're SORRY? See that pile of glass you made me step on? Stand on it!"_

"_But, ma-"  
"God dammit Steven, do as I fucking say! Now jump. Until I tell you to stop; that'll fuckin' teach you."_

He had traded that timid, cautious disposition for a guarded, aloof facade to protect him. He didn't need to make his mommy dearest happy when all she gave him was hell. He didn't want people to see the messed up kid he was. He was Hyde; he wouldn't take shit from anyone, didn't care, and ambiguity was his best friend. So when Edna was on the attack, he'd recoil two times as harsh. For sixteen years he had to put up with her shit, for twelve of them he never even fought back. He realized he didn't have to put up with her manipulative, sadistic bitchiness; he wasn't to blame. So the bruises came few and far between, and he put her in her place.

His place.

At that thought, Hyde felt his stomach twist. The past four years, all he had done was hurt her, try to break down his own mother; try to get her how he felt. He hadn't realized this until now... but he had turned into his parents. No matter how hard he had tried his entire life, he had still found a way to let his genetics slip through. These last few years all he wanted was for her to understand what she had done to him; by putting her through the same emotional pain.

Maybe he had caused her to leave. Maybe it was his fault. He didn't have to use fists or violence to hurt, his tongue was the same as a double edged sword laced with cyanide. His words were just as abusive as Bud's fists, as her neglect. Hyde was just as bad as them... if not worse.

The sixteen year old hadn't noticed he had clenched his fists. He could feel his pulse pound madly through his veins, hear his heart thump four times the normal rate, echoing like a bass drum in the back of his mind. His jaw was clenched tightly, despite the painful tugging of his lip.

The sound of glass shattering once again filled his ears as his fist struck the bathroom mirror. He heard the soft clatter as the tiny shards fluttered across the linoleum floor. He couldn't stand to see those blue eyes staring at him; as if they were mocking him. His own eyes betrayed him. Just like Edna's.

Hyde closed his eyes and turned toward the door, the larger pieces of glass crunching under the heel of his boots. Here he was, alone, finally alone, and he felt like he was imprisoned in this hell of a home. This wasn't a home, though. This had never been a home. Whenever he was asked the stupid questions like "think about your home; what is the first thing you see?" in his Human Studies class, he always thought about the Forman's home. They had a home. This shack was more like a tomb, a place that could only bring out the worst in anyone who stepped inside. That wasn't what a home was.

The Forman's. Hyde felt the corners of his lips curl as he thought of that familiar name. They were his family, they were the ones who were always there for him. Their family (with the exception of Laurie) seemed to welcome him to stay more than the others; even Donna. He used to think it was out of pity, and maybe a part of it was. But Forman was his brother, and Red and Kitty, they showed him what parents were supposed to be like. They taught him that what his parents did to him was wrong, taught him what love was like.

_'Love?'_ Hyde questioned himself as he curled up on the couch. He never said that word, about anyone; except when he said it to Chris. When did he start to associate the _Formans_ with _love_?

_'Since... forever.'_ Hyde answered back... and it was true. They showed him all he needed to know about family. Mrs. Forman was the best mother he could ever ask for... and she wasn't even his mom. And Red, as mean as he was, there was so much wisdom in his words that Eric didn't catch. He cared about his two children more than anything and anyone, besides Kitty. They weren't the perfect family; Laurie was the Earth Mother Whore after all, but they were the best family Hyde had ever seen. And they brought him into it; gave him a place to stay when he needed shelter. They always let him come over for the holidays when Edna's friends got a little too friendly. He told Kitty, Red, and Eric more than he told anyone, especially Kitty (there are just some things guys don't talk about.) And they've always been there for him; that's more than well, anyone. But the most important thing was that he knew that they loved him. Although the only person who actually said it was Kitty, Red took him under his wing at a young age (he was stronger than Eric,) and he and Eric were best friends. If it weren't for them... then he'd be dead. And that's all that Edna wished for.

She hated them. Maybe because they helped him stay alive, but he didn't think so. She hated the Formans because she was jealous of them. They were a close family, middle class but always so happy. Their entire family loved each other no matter what, even though they all got annoyed with each other. And she'd look at her and Hyde's relationship and see the remains of two broken people in a shattered home. Though now she didn't even claim him as a son, and his grandparents didn't even want him to be born. Was he that unwanted?

Hyde sighed heavily as he flipped through the television channels although his attention was directed more to his thoughts. His family might have felt he was unwanted, but that was wrong. He knew he had a group of people who would always be there for him, which is why he stayed in Point Place, even though half of him wanted to leave it all behind.

But that was where he and Edna were different. Hyde had come back, for his friends, for the Formans, and even for her. He was worried about her and how she'd keep up after he left; it wasn't the main reason he stayed, but he thought it nonetheless. But Edna, she had left without a care, she didn't give two shits about her son. Edna would give anything to leave him behind. And she did.

And though he didn't have Edna, he still had people who'd watch out for him, though they wouldn't know his situation. He'd stay at the Forman's house the most he could, to keep himself preoccupied and away from his hell. Mrs. Forman would be there with her always present smiles and hugs that he pretended to hate. Red would threaten the foot in the ass but Hyde knew he meant well. And his friends would depend on him to come up with reckless ideas to act out.

Edna had left, but he still had his family. And she'd probably show up in a couple of weeks with bruises all over her body and a sorry excuse about how it didn't work out. Like the countless other times she had left. Hyde would be pretty screwed about the financial situation, but he'd figure something out. He didn't need Edna, he never had.

Hyde realized that Edna's absence would be the best thing for him. He'd be able to fix up the house, make it semi-livable, and be able to walk around without having to dodge forgotten needles. He wouldn't have to worry about her drunk ass coming home late from a night of boozing and prostitution, or put up with her crazy rages that ended with her passing out. Her chaotic life wouldn't be the center of his; he'd finally be able to care about himself.

"Everything is gonna be all right," Hyde mumbled, smirking softly.

He just had to convince himself that.

* * *

**Author's Note:**

**Not sure on the ending... what did you guys think? I wanted it to be longer... but I decided to save it for the next chapter, as it would sort of run on. Be looking for that soon! (And be thankful for snow days!)  
**

**Love,**

**Angie**

**PS: I'll be posting probably one more original chapter, then "Hyde Moves In" then "The Good Son" and then a few originals before I start season 2 :)  
**


	48. Plastic Man

_**Author's Note: So, this one is going to be a lot lighter than the last chapter, though towards the end it will get sad. But I think it's really good. And I wanted to add a lot of humor, this chapter is pretty much based on how my friends and I are (I've been thinking about summer constantly now, and I seriously cannot wait to go swimming.) I wanted to bring back some of my favorite parts from my pre-season chapters as well, so there will be those influences in this. And I think you'll all like the end, though I'm going to be keeping it canon though, so you'll just have to wait for J/H (I'm sorry :D) Also, I will say that the begin has a lot of dialogue, but I think it's fitting for the beginning. Yet as the chapter progresses, there won't be as much, don't worry :). Hope you all enjoy this chapter!**_

_**Much Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: I want to thank all of my reviewers, the reviews you give mean so much to me and you're all so awesome! **_

_**Special thanks to: MistyMountainHop, twiniitowers, nannygirl, nicodemusfleur, changsquakzhang, and Effigy. You're all so cool and I love your reviews! Thanks so much! You always encourage me and inspire me to continue writing this (though I won't quit until it's finished!) **_

_**And if you haven't yet, check out our fan-fic board (I'll post the link in the reviews section.)**_

_**-Angie!**_

* * *

_I am a plastic man, wish I can be the one you could be proud of. I'm losing heart again,wish I could show you what you think I'm made of. Someday I know I'll find my place, someday I know this pain will fade. Why don't you let me be and I'll pretend I'm well? 'Cause you're blind to see, and I'm too tired to tell. And in your apathy, your head begins to swell. Another tragedy, but you're too cold to feel...__**  
**_

It had been a week since Edna had left; a week of ups and downs to try and test his boundaries. Most of it actually wasn't bad. He was able to do as he pleased without constant screaming at him for being too lazy. Hyde had the ultimate amount of privacy, plenty of alcohol, and he actually made small improvements to the house. There weren't any syringes or needles laying around the house so he could now walk barefoot, Hyde kept the windows open to try to rid the almost putrid smell of alcohol, nicotine, and drugs that Edna had done. Of course, that didn't apply to his room.

While the week seemed to be going great, he ran into trouble. His landlord had come to "pay a visit" and he was sure he was going to be evicted. Instead, he was told that Edna had two weeks to pay the electric and water bill. His mom hadn't left him any money, and he didn't think that this was important enough to use the money his grandparents had left him. He'd just shower and wash his clothes at the Forman's and live by candlelight... except they didn't have candles. On top of that, the only food he had was a dry loaf of bread, Saltine crackers, butter, and ketchup.

So he stayed at the Forman's- without them knowing. Hyde would leave there house around 10 or 11 o'clock, then he would return after he saw Eric's light go off. He would silently sneak into the basement, tip toe up the stairs and raid the fridge and guzzle down a clean glass of water. Then he'd quietly make is way to the basement once more, and lay in the dark until he fell asleep. A couple hours later, he would hear footsteps from upstairs and begin to smell breakfast cooking; his cue to leave. Then he'd return around 10:00 and hang out with everyone like usual. They didn't expect a thing. Like today.

The four young men of the gang were sitting on lawn chairs in the back yard of the Forman's house after Kitty persuaded them to go out and get fresh air instead of being cooped up in the basement. Plus Jackie wanted to try something with Donna. When the guys saw them in bikinis, they hoped for some raunchy and naughty girl time, yet when they laid out on towels in the grass, their hope was punctured. They were tanning.

"There's something really weird going on..." Eric mumbled, veering the conversation from hot makeout sessions.

"Eric, that's normal." Kelso joked, Hyde smirked.

"Not that, Kelso. No... I think I'm sleep walking."

"I do that too! I woke up in bed with my host-sister. She did not look upset, either." Fez chirped happily as Kelso laughed.

"Nice! The naughty bible girls are the best. Keep on saying you accidentally do it, and soon you can seduce her, man!"

"Seriously, guys I have a problem!" Hyde turned his attention to Eric, who actually looked worried. "My mom has been noticing that leftovers are missing, and I've woken up in the living room, when I've fallen asleep in my room. So I think that I'm subconsciously starving!" Hyde turned his head and peered into the kitchen, Kitty was happily dancing as she slabbed peanut butter on white bread. He hadn't thought that his nightly trips to their fridge had been noticeable; then again he did eat more than Forman. Eric could take the blame though; if he woke up in the living room then it seemed to make sense.

"Well, that makes sense, Eric, I mean, you're tiny!" Fez exclaimed, Eric patted his stomach.

"I am not! I'm just lanky!" He defended, Hyde rolled his eyes and chuckled.

"Calm down, Erica, those extra calories won't hurt your figure." Hyde teased sarcastically as he stretched his legs.

Hyde looked over at Kelso and Fez, who were both staring at the girls basking in the surprisingly hot May sun. Compared to Jackie, Donna was much paler, but it wasn't unusual for girls to be pale, especially in Wisconsin. Jackie just hung out with girls who spent every waking moment trying to out-tan each other.

"Man, isn't she hot?" Kelso asked, Fez craned his neck, and nodded.

"You should get her some water." Eric and Hyde glanced over at each other and grinned.

"Hey, Kelso, you better be looking at Jackie," Eric grumbled, his eyes slightly glazed as he gazed happily at his barely-clothed girlfriend.

"Wha- oh yeah, yeah, I am." Kelso murmured. Hyde watched as the two girls quietly talked to themselves and laughed as they soaked in the rays. Donna had been acting more and more girly since she began to date Eric, yet he realized now that that might not be the young man's fault. When she started to go out with him, Jackie thought it was her responsibility to take the older girl under her wing, and coach her on how to be a girl. And as that happened, Donna and Hyde had gradually grown farther and farther apart. But as long as she was happy...

"Kids, I made lunch!" Kitty declared, as she floated happily outside. Fez and Kelso launched themselves at the small woman, grabbing two sandwiches each. She laughed quietly and smiled at Eric and Hyde, both of them remained seated.

"Mom, you didn't have to, you know." Eric mumbled as she handed him a sandwich. The Forman's were going through a really tough time, the gang knew that. But Kitty would make sure "her babies" were all fed and happy.

"Yes I did, Eric, I'm just so happy you're actually outside. It's been so long! Eric you look like you haven't seen sunlight in three months!" Kitty laughed as she beamed at her very pale son.

"That's because I haven't." Eric grumbled as Kelso laughed at him.

"See, I'm naturally tan, so I don't have to worry about that." Kelso bragged, making Fez snort.

"You? Naturally tan? Tan my ass, you will never get this cocoa brown, whitey!" Fez retorted, wearing a smug grin at his response. Hyde sighed softly and looked back at the girls, Jackie was rolling her eyes as Donna stood up, wrapping her purple towel around her waist.

"Donna, you can't eat now!" Jackie cried, Donna sighed heavily and turned around.

"Yes I can, and I'm going to!" Donna barked, thanking Mrs. Forman as she grabbed one of the soft sandwiches. Hyde folded his arms across his stomach and looked back at Jackie who was laying on her back, eyes closed. She seemed to be enjoying the tanning thing more than Donna, who looked rather uncomfortable in such a tiny suit. He could tell the rest of the guys didn't mind the missing clothing either of the girls, and he would joke around and stare too, but right now ogling Donna's breasts wasn't the most important thing in the world.

"Steven, are you hungry?" Mrs. Forman asked, Hyde glanced up at the chipper woman and shook his head. She raised her eyebrows suspiciously and he just shrugged his shoulders.

"Not really, Mrs. Forman, thank you though," he answered flatly, still peering at the fifteen year old girl out of the corner of his eye. At that, Donna looked over her shoulder and quickly grabbed the last sandwich on the plate, then sat down next to Eric. He looked about ready to pounce on her.

"All right, well I'll just get you some lemonade!" Kitty chirped, then quickly ran back into the house.

"Eric, can you please hide me?" Donna asked, he grinned as he wrapped his arm around her. "I don't know what I was thinking when I agreed to that," she grumbled, nodding her head towards Jackie.

"Oh I don't know..." Eric trailed off, "_'hmm maybe I should torture my boyfriend today!'_?" Eric jokingly asked, Donna rolled her eyes and lightly hit him; Hyde rolled his eyes.

It was always them. Everyone was always concerned with their problems, their relationship; focus your attention on the predicted couple- nobody else matters! He could find Jackie more tolerable than the happy couple sitting next to him.

"I thought you'd all enjoy some home made lemonade, I know I did when I was your age!" Kitty piped up once more as she walked outside with a glass pitcher and a stack of plastic cups.

"Mom..." Eric whined, watching as Kitty poured each of them a glass with ice and a lemon slice.

"Honey, you don't need to worry," Mrs. Forman reassured her son, patting his shoulder as she began to hand out the plastic cups.

A chorus of "thank you, Mrs. Forman" was spread throughout the cluster of friends as they quietly sipped their beverages.

"Man, Eric, you are so lucky!" Kelso cried as he set down his glass.

"Why?" Eric asked him, Fez scoffed.

"Dude, your mom makes you homemade lemonade; that's like... better than the boxed stuff!" Kelso cried, Donna and Fez nodded.

"In my country, mothers are allowed to see their children only seven hours a day." Donna's jaw dropped as she hugged Fez, who beamed happily.

"Fez, that's so sad..." she murmured, he shrugged his shoulders.

"You get used to it," he whimpered, faking sadness.

_'You do get used to it,'_ Hyde thought, as he listened to the conversation take its course. If Fez was right then he probably understood more than the rest of them what it was like to live with a frequently absent mom. Eric was lucky though, to have Mrs. Forman as his mom. She cared about all of them dearly, but Eric actually lived with her. Hyde would give anything to live with a mom who actually cared about him. Or a dad who threatened to kick his ass. At least it was just threats.

Hyde shook his head, he couldn't think about his parents now. It didn't matter; Edna always left him anyway, and he was doing a lot better without his mom. She wasn't even his mom; she never cared. The woman he considered his mom was Mrs. Forman, and Red was more of a father than anyone.

"Eric, I am not that stupid," he heard Fez say as he held his lemon. Eric smirked and shrugged his shoulders.

"It was worth a-"

"What's a lemon gonna do to your eye?" Kelso asked sarcastically, taking Fez's lemon as he was about to eat it. The younger boy was about to cry out, yet refrained when he saw his revenge play out.

"OW! MY EYE!" Kelso cried, tossing the lemon in the air as he held his right eye. The four began to laugh as Kelso cradled his head and Jackie stood up in alarm. Hyde saw Mrs. Forman poke her head out the door and she stared sternly at him.

"Steven, did you hurt Kelso's eye again?" he beamed.

"Not this time," he responded coolly, Kitty sighed with relief and slowly walked over to the boy rolling around on the floor in pain.

"Michael, what happened to your eye?" She asked, he looked up at her, his eyelids twitching as tears welled in his eye.

"I put a lemon on it," he mumbled bashfully, Kitty laughed loudly and held out her hand, helping him up.

"Come with me, I'll get you a cold wash cloth, you'll be fine." Kitty reassured, leading Kelso into the house.

Jackie skipped up to them, her messy bun falling out of its tight hold and as she stood next to Hyde, he quickly looked away.

"What happened to Michael?" She asked, sounding slightly worried. Donna shook her head as their laughing subdued to quiet chuckles.

"He put a lemon on his eye because Fez wouldn't," Jackie rolled her eyes and scoffed; she masked her face with a nonchalant look, but Hyde didn't buy it. She was really concerned.

"He's so stupid!" She cried, placing her hands on her hips. Hyde raised an eyebrow and looked back at her incredulously.

"It took you this long to realize that?" She sneered at him and rolled her eyes once more.

"Eric," she began, ignoring Hyde's comment, "would you please take me to the pool?" She asked, widening her eyes as she begged the pushover of the group.

"Well we're all content here, I think, so... no." He grumbled, holding on to Donna tightly.

"I'm not!" She yelped, glaring at him angrily.

"And I care why?" She groaned in annoyance and sat next to Fez who glued his eyes to her chest.

"Please Eric? We can all go, it will be fun. When was the last time you went to the pool?" She asked, he sighed softly.

"Last year," she raised her arms and leaned in closer to him.

"See! It's a new year and we're all hanging out so we can go to the pool!"

"What's wrong with staying here?" Hyde interjected.

"You just don't want to go because you don't have any money," Jackie snapped, taking down her bun and pulling it in a tight ponytail. "I want to go to the pool because your garage is blocking my sun."

"Aww I'm sorry Jackie, let me just move my garage for you!" Eric cried sarcastically.

"I'll pay for gas?" Jackie suggested, Eric's face lit up.

"Everyone, we're going to the pool!"

* * *

"Hyde, it won't kill you," Donna mumbled, as Jackie, Donna, Eric, and Hyde stood in Eric's room. "You can do this."

"I can, but I won't." Hyde growled as he stared at the bed. He hated swimming, he didn't want to go and he'd just be sitting on the cement, waiting for his friends until they decided it was time to leave. He didn't see why he had to do this. He wasn't going to.

"Hyde, we're gonna get there, and you're going to complain because you'll be too hot in your jeans and shirt and-"  
"When have I ever complained?" He barked at Eric, who shrugged his shoulders.

"Fair point."

"Steven, just put on the shorts!" Hyde snapped his head back at Jackie, who stood with her arms folded and her teeth clenched.

"Shut up, Toto." He hissed, wincing as he felt her kick the back of his leg. Hyde raised his middle finger after he rubbed the back of his leg.

Taking a glance at his two friends who were gazing at him, silently persuading him to grab the extra pair of swim trunks Eric had, he reached towards the bed and he could hear Donna gasp.

"He's actually doing it!"

"Gent bent!" He growled, stomping out of Eric's room, away from the three happily cheering with the black and blue trunks in hand. As he neared the main bathroom in the hallway, he stopped; his hand hovered by the door handle. Inside, he could hear Fez and Kelso laughing and the sound of towels snapping skin. Shuddering, he turned around and walked down the hall to the stairs.

"Mrs. Forman?" He called down. The shuffling of feet was heard, and soon he saw Kitty standing at the foot of the steps.

"Yes?" She asked, her face lighting up when seeing the dark shorts in his hand.

"Can I use your bathroom?" He asked, "They're going to the pool and they're forcing me to go, and Fez and Kelso are in there snapping towels and I really don't want to be a part of it." He rambled. Kitty laughed and nodded.

"Of course you can, sweetie, no one is in there." She chirped, he smiled at her.

"Thanks," he mumbled, slowly making his way to their bedroom.

Before he entered, he knocked, just in case Red was in there. He didn't want to deal with anymore awkwardness today. After waiting a few seconds and hearing nothing but the faint sound of Fez crying out from the bathroom, he cringed and quickly ran into the room.

_'Those two are one step away from being lovers,'_ he thought, shuddering as he walked to Mr. and Mrs. Forman's bathroom.

Closing the door, Hyde kicked off his boots and felt the squishy shagged mat underneath his feet. Their bathroom was full of plush (of course it was Mrs. Forman's idea without a doubt) and was a very light color. The only light needed in the room was pouring in from the small mirror in the very top corner of the bathroom.

_'I can't believe I'm doing this,' _Hyde thought as he unbuckled his belt. The only reason they were going was because Jackie was paying for the gas; they could just drop her off and cruise Kenosha for a while. It would be a win/win situation. But he knew that his friends probably wanted to go, and maybe he could get something ridiculously hilarious to happen.

Folding his jeans, he placed them on the sink and used his right big toe to take off his left sock, and vice versa. Hyde bent down and placed them on top of his jeans and began to tug on the waistband of his boxers, when he heard a knock on the door.

"Did you fall in?" Donna asked him, voice muffled by the door. He heard a chorus of laughter from the room outside and he sighed heavily.

"Get bent!" he cried, making his friends laugh even harder.

"Seriously, Hyde, hurry up, man!" Eric called, "we wanna go!"

"We love you just the way you are!" Fez teased, making everyone giggle even more.

"Hold on," he mumbled, making everyone "ooh." He rolled his eyes when he heard Kelso suggest a drum roll, and slammed the back of his head on the wall when he heard someone slapping the wall of the bedroom for his drum roll.

Hyde hurried to step out of his boxers and wriggled into the almost too-tight shorts he borrowed from Eric. He sighed softly and looked down at his bare legs, feeling more than awkward. Hyde knew that as soon as he stepped out there, they'd start the round of jokes about his shocking white legs, even though Eric was just as pale as him.

With his hand on the door handle, he secured his folded clothes on his bicep and held his boots in his left hand.

"He's coming!" Kelso burst out as Hyde slowly opened the door. He felt ridiculous as they clapped and cheered at their feat. They so owed him for this.

"Are you seriously wearing the shirt?" Donna asked, he nodded, smirking at her. They always had this fight whenever they went swimming. They got him in the trunks without him retaliating, he got to keep the shirt. It was an unofficial compromise. Or so he thought.

"That's not normal," Fez mumbled as they all quickly zipped down the carpeted stairs sounding more like troopers searching a house than six teenagers. Hyde shrugged his shoulders, not really caring what was 'normal' and what wasn't. He wasn't taking off the shirt, and that was final.

"He's just incomparable to my foxiness," Kelso declared boosting his own confidence. Donna rolled her eyes as they walked through the kitchen, silencing their discussion as they said their goodbyes to Mrs. Forman.

After Eric reassured her they'd be fine, he shut the screen door and their mission of persuasion continued.

"See, Eric and Fez can accept that they don't look as good as me, but Hyde, he's in denial." Hyde just shook his head at Kelso. He was so stupid sometiems. If he actually thought this was about self-consciousness, he was crazy. Hyde just didn'tw ant to take his shirt off. There was no jealousy or secret "fears" about it.

"I don't think that's it," Donna told Kelso, who scoffed. Hyde quickly climbed into the back seat and tried to forget about his friends that were trying to decipher the cause of keeping his shirt on. Was it too obvious to realize?

"No!" Jackie cried, swinging the door open quickly. Hyde looked up at her, slightly confused. "I am not sitting by Michael."

"Too bad," Hyde grumbled, leaning back into the seat. Of everyone here, she was the root of his annoyance.

"Please?" She asked, pouting. Hyde wrinkled his nose and scooted into the middle.

"As long is stops you from making that face," Hyde said, causing Jackie to scratch his arm with her perfectly manicured fingernails.

"Burn!" Kelso cried as he sat down next to Hyde in the backseat of the car...

* * *

"Scrubby dubby little ducky!" Fez sang loud and off-key in the shower at the Kenosha pool twenty minutes later. The other boys and young men in the locker room eyed him strangely and high-tailed it out of the small cement room. "Why aren't you showering?" He asked as Eric and Kelso took off their accoutrements. Hyde placed his socks in the tan locker that the four were sharing, but kept on his ever-present ring and necklace, unlike Eric and Kelso.

"It's pointless," Kelso replied as he rubbed sun screen on his bare limbs. Hyde dug his carton of cigarettes out of his pocket; he considered leaving them in their metal cubby but decided against it. He needed some sort of fun while here.

"Do you know what people do in that water?" Eric asked, "I shower after I got o the pool, for like an hour." Eric interjected as he coated his face with sun block. Hyde scoffed as he took a heavy drag from his cigarette.

"Nice to know, Erica," he joked, exhaling through his nose. His friends turned away and Eric coughed; he was the only one of his friends who actually smoked legal stuff.

"What crawled up your butt and died?" Kelso asked now rubbing his stomach. Hyde stayed silent as he seemed to breathe in the nicotine for dear life. Eric glanced over at him and narrowed his eyes, as he did a double take.

"More like, what crawled in your lip and died?" Eric commented, nearing him. Hyde placed his finger on his lip he could still feel the slight swelling from his fight with Edna's boyfriend. He hadn't thought it was that natural.

"Ahh... I dunno," Hyde mumbled, flicking the cigarette butt to get rid of the ashes. Eric eyed him curiously yet he didn't react, just stood there nonchalant and stone-like; as usual. _'First it was a freaking shirt and now they'll obsess over this...' _Hyde thought sighing heavily as he realized this.

"I think you do know," Eric added, looking at him sternly. Hyde knew what he was thinking; Eric knew about Edna's boyfriends, both he and Donna did. But that had been when he was younger... that hadn't happened for forever; until now. But it didn't matter, Edna was gone with the guy, and it wouldn't happen again.

"Fine, I was making out with this chick and she bit my lip too hard." Kelso started laughing at that and Eric raised his eyebrows.

"Was she hungry?" Eric asked, Hyde even smirked at that.

"Man Hyde, you're moving down the line. First biker chicks, now zombies? Om nom nom..." Kelso cried, outstretching his hands and acting like a zombie. Hyde rolled his eyes and chuckled glancing back at Fez who was drying off with a towel...

"Fezzie, it's pointless!" Hyde piped up, the shorter boy looked at him curiously, "You're going to get wet anyway," Fez lowered his head dejectedly and slowly dragged himself over to his three friends.

The guys walked out from the humid locker room and instantly were enveloped in the bright hot rays of the sun. Hyde could feel the back of his neck prickle from the heat and his feet start to burn from the scalding cement ground. Fez and Kelso started hopping to avoid burning their toes and Eric quickly ran over to the blanket Donna brought. Jackie was already sprawled in one of the chairs, eyes closed and breathing slowly as her skin absorbed the vitamin D.

Hyde scratched at his clothed shoulder and already felt the shirt sticking to his skin. He scowled and sat down on the blanket, leaning on the fence that barricaded the pool. His eyes caught Eric and Donna holding hands, about to jump into the 8 foot end, and turned to find Kelso and Fez. He raised his eyebrow when seeing they were in the kiddie pool, trying to steal some toys. The sixteen year old held back a chuckle and pulled his legs closer to him.

Thankfully, he had his sunglasses. If he didn't, he was sure that he would go blind from the menacing sun. Hyde felt his lips curl into a grimace as he flicked his lighter, and balanced his cigarette with his lips. He didn't know how long they were going to be here, but he knew he'd be bored and would be toasted in the too-hot air. And not in the fun way, either.

Hyde felt a droplet of perspiration drip from his forehead, down his face, he closed his eyes and tried to silently deal with the summer heat. That was when he was doused with a powerful stream of water. His eyes shot up and he found Kelso standing near the three foot end, holding a super soaker. Hyde groaned and was sure Kelso could feel his dark glare cast down on him; he watched the older boy's expression change from a hysterical grin to a fearful 'o'.

Hyde's Rolling Stones shirt clung to his skin uncomfortably and he shook his head, slowly wriggling out of the soaking wet black shirt. He watched as Fez cannon-balled quickly into the water, to get away from Hyde's "angry" wrath. The younger of the two smirked as Kelso mouthed "oh shit," and began to zip down the slippery cement around the edge of the pool. Hyde tossed his sunglasses aside and charged after his friends; leaving behind the roaring laughter and applause from Eric, Donna, and Fez.

As he fled passed Jackie, he heard a quiet giggle and glanced back at her momentarily; confused. She had her face tilted upwards a little as she gazed at him with an amused smile on her face.

"Get him!" She cried, and for the first time, he listened and obeyed Jackie's command.

Kelso scurried to the deepest end, the 12 foot and began to hurriedly climb the high-dive ladder. Hyde looked into the pool as he stood at the foot of the ladder and saw his friends watching as well as others; he and Kelso had an audience.

When Hyde glanced up, Kelso was already half way up the creaky and rusty ladder. He could see his friend's hands shaking nervously and grinned; Hyde had him. The younger one hopped up the steps to at a time as he held a strong grip on the metal bars. Kelso squeaked when he saw how Hyde had advanced on him and finally gained balance as he stood on the extended diving board.

"You gonna jump?" Hyde asked as he stood on the same bending board. Kelso nodded.

"I've fallen down the water tower countless times, this is nothing." Kelso replied, but he sounded apprehensive. "Hyde I'm sorry I found the Super Soaker and you were the only one sitting out and Jackie would kill me," Hyde smirked.

"And I wouldn't?" Kelso grimaced.

"I hadn't thought that far."

"And you ran... to the high dive, not a smart move, man."

"You were gaining on me, I was going to the slide." Hyde nodded and chuckled as the two stood on the drenched diving board. "Hey, Hyde?" Kelso asked, Hyde looked up.

"Yeah?" He asked, waiting for Kelso to jump. He didn't understand why they were carrying a normal conversation on the high dive, while they had a very impatient audience. Kelso looked Hyde in the eye, and that's when Hyde remembered.

"What happened to your eye?"

"Can't disappoint," Hyde murmured, causing Kelso to tilt his head in confusion. Hyde charged at Kelso who paled when feeling Hyde push him off. Hyde watched as Kelso fell into the deep waters and could almost feel the large splash caused by his friend's dive. Hyde stood at the end of the board, his toes gripping the edge almost like a bird or something.

Hyde felt a pair of small warm hands on his back and he felt his body react to gravity. His eyes widened when he saw Jackie grinning at him from where he had been standing right before he was submersed into the cool chlorine water.

As he sank, his ear drums seemed to pound and he felt a pressure on his chest and stomach that almost seemed to tug at him, to go up, and to go down. When feeling his feet touch the bottom of the pool, he sprang himself up towards the surface. Hyde's eyes stung from the chemically altered water as he quickly rose to breathe. As he neared the top, he felt the water pull down once more as someone else jumped in; Jackie.

Hyde gasped for air and rubbed his eyes as he finally broke the layer from water and air. He took a deep breath and shook his shaggy hair spraying water everywhere. He could hear Kelso laughing with Fez and he grinned. Hyde kicked off the edge of the pool and quickly swam over to his friends who stood, waiting for him to near them.

"That was awesome!" Kelso cried, "so much better than falling off the water tower."

"That's because you know you'll be safe," Donna replied; Kelso shrugged and nodded his head.

"So Hyde, quite a dramatic entrance, eh?" Eric joked, Hyde chuckled and nodded.

"Well it was totally awesome, I give it a nine!" Fez chirped, "it had all the elements, horror, comedy, drama, action, and romance!" Hyde raised his eyebrow once more as he looked at his odd friend. "Fine there was no romance, but we need some!" Fez cried, his face darkening as his voice boomed over the water.

"Fez, I'm sure you can find a pool chick who will want to make out with you," Kelso reassured, Fez's face lit up.

"Whoa, Hyde..." Eric said, Hyde slowly turned to his best friend and gave him a look.

"What?" He asked rather gruffly, Eric just looked at him.

"Gnarly eye, man... what'd you do?" Kelso raised his hand.

"That's exactly what I asked him before he pushed me off!" he cried, Hyde shot him a dark glare and shrugged his shoulders. Donna gazed at him suspiciously.

"Ooh it must've been that zombie girl, she seems very sadistic," Fez concluded, looking proud of himself.

"Well, if you like it that way..." Kelso raised his hands in front of him and took a step back.

"Zombie girl?" Donna asked curiously, Hyde sighed heavily, and looked behind him. Jackie was drying off with Kelso's towel before going back to tanning.

"Yeah, Hyde got a fat lip from this girl because he was making out with her and she bit his lip," Kelso said, Donna scoffed and looked incredulously at Hyde.

"She'd have to bite his lip really hard to do that, and punch him hard to give him a black eye, Kelso..." Donna trailed off.

"Look, man, it's nothing, okay? I just got in a stupid fight at the bar-"

"Ooh zombie bar chick, the plot thickens..." Fez interjected. Hyde slumped his head as he groaned loudly.

"Whatever, can we just do something else? I'm in the water, and I have no shirt. I don't want to waste my time."

So... the group of five began to play a game of Marco Polo. Hyde pulled his usual tactic and silently walked to the steps to exit the pool and sat at the edge, his legs dangling down into the water. Occasionally, he'd kick his feet to seem like he was still in there, and whenever Kelso (who was it at the time) would come around, he'd lift his feet. Jackie wasn't in the water and she wasn't dating Kelso, so she wouldn't rat out on him like she usually did. And his other friends didn't care; they had cheating tactics as well... even Fez.

"Guys, this isn't fair!" Kelso cried, finally opening his eyes after a half hour of searching. He gasped loudly as he saw Hyde sitting on the edge, Fez sitting on the stairs, and Eric and Donna over the boundary to separate the deep end from shallow. Then he started to laugh as he looked at each of them again. "That's a good burn," he decided, still laughing.

"Wanna hear a better one?" Hyde asked him, Kelso nodded. "You're still it." Kelso glared at him in anger.

"Okay, but no cheating."

* * *

Hyde sat silently on the front doorstep, lightly rubbing his arm. He winced as he felt his shoulder pull and he sighed. He knew he had forgotten something at the pool; sunscreen. After they had left, his friends had started laughing, and when he went to frog Kelso, he found out why. His skin was reddened from the sun and pulled tight. The warmth was uncomfortable as it radiated through his shirt that still was wet from the Super Soaker. It felt like even his eye lids were burnt.

"Hyde, seriously... are you telling me the truth?" Donna asked him.

This was the first time the two had talked in a long time. He knew after Eric and Kelso pointed out his black eye that she would be the one to actually ask him what happened. They hadn't had these kind of talks in forever... and he felt uncomfortable. He didn't know if he could trust her, or if she'd relay the information to her boyfriend like the "good girl she was." Hyde wanted to trust her, would probably tell her, if only he didn't have to worry about her girl-ish side.

"Donna, I don't-" Hyde stopped in mid sentence as he heard the front door open. He turned behind him and saw Jackie walking out solemnly; Kelso probably made her mad.

"Donna, I really need to talk to you..." She whined, sitting down, then she turned to Hyde. "That means, go away, Red Lobster." Hyde scowled.

"Jackie," Donna began, sighing as she looked at her small friend. "I really need to talk to Hyde, it's important." Jackie grimaced, looked between the two and folded her arms in defiance. Hyde stood up and walked down the steps. "Hyde, what the hell?" He shrugged his shoulders and pointed to Jackie.

"What she has to say is more important than this, so I'll let you talk," he mumbled, turning away from her.

"Hyde, please don't go?" Donna asked, Hyde stopped and closed his eyes.

If this had been him just a few months ago, he would stop and sit back down, tell her everything. He'd make Jackie leave; scare her off somehow... he was good at that. Back then, he thought spilling his guts to her would help him in the long run, make her see who he wanted her to see instead of this guy he was with his friends. But now... now things were different. Now he didn't need or want to impress her. He was wary with her; how much could he tell her before she became a motor mouth like Jackie? Hyde didn't know how much trust he had with Donna, and that really did hurt him. They had been close for so long.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Donna," he murmured, taking off down the sidewalk. He heard her sigh in frustration and as he walked, her words became softer and softer as she complained and talked to Jackie.

Donna didn't need him to talk to anymore. Because she was dating Eric, well, dating, Jackie was her go to person when she needed to vent. Or Eric. She could tell those two anything and it would bring them closer. He had watched her slowly slip away from him. Donna would call him less and less, trust him with less, and as time went on, he felt the same way. But unlike her, he didn't have anyone. Not that it mattered... there was nothing to tell, nothing to vent about.

Hyde kicked a rather large rock down the sidewalk and sighed softly, digging his hands into the pocket of his jeans. Lately, he didn't think about anything. He blocked his conscience and his inner monologue, to prevent himself from thinking about anything. He didn't want to talk. He didn't want to tell anyone the problems he was having because they'd feel sorry for him. And he didn't need that, he didn't need anyone. He was better off by himself, and he didn't want to be a bother.

He hated Point Place at night. It made him feel trapped, suffocated. This is when he'd go to his house, lock himself in his room and drink and smoke until he passed out. But he was tired of going home and being lonely, with only his conscience to listen to; as well as 8-tracks and cassettes. And while he didn't miss Edna, he missed someone to talk to. About nothing.

Hyde didn't give answers. His friends had pissed him off to no end today. First it was "why won't you take off the shirt?", "why won't you go swimming?" Then it was "what happened to your eye?" "What happened to your lip?" It didn't matter, and they didn't understand that. What happened last week happened and there was no changing that. But it was over, Edna was gone, along with her current boyfriend, and they weren't coming back. He didn't have to worry about it, and he didn't worry anyway. Yet his friends did.

Hyde heard soft thuds against the pavement, as though someone was running. He thought about looking back, but figured it was just some weird night jogger and continued on his way. Hyde pulled out his cigarette carton, yet pulled out one of the three joints in there and sighed; exactly what he needed. Lighting the butt, he took a long hit and held it for as long as he could. He didn't care if he got caught, half the town smoked it anyway, including some of the cops. These people were all hypocrites.

As he walked, the thuds grew faster and louder; he couldn't take it anymore. He whipped his head around and stopped when seeing the short girl finally catch up to him, panting loudly. Jackie held her high heels in her hand and finally doubled over as she caught her breath.

"Why didn't you stop?" Jackie asked him, through deep breaths.

"Why are you following me?" Hyde replied in question, she rolled her eyes.

"I wasn't following you," She answered, Hyde scoffed and exhaled the smoke.

"Clearly, if you were behind me, and trying to catch up to me, you were following me," he answered, giving her a look. She groaned and looked away from him.

"I've been trying to catch up to you for like four blocks now!" he chuckled at her valley-girl anger.

"That's because it's hard to keep up with someone when you're short." Jackie growled and kicked his shin, making him wince; he was sunburned on his legs, too. When feeling the stinging cease, he lowered his leg and glared at Jackie.

"It wouldn't have hurt so bad if you put on sun block," Jackie chirped proudly, Hyde rolled his eyes. "You wouldn't be burned if you used it, you'd be tan, like me! But you didn't, so now you're a lobster."

"Ouch," he grumbled sarcastically, pretending to clutch his heart, "that hurt. See... I would rather be sun burned two weeks and have it fade than be orange like you," Jackie squeaked at his retort and gazed down at her arms.  
"I am not orange!" She defended her self, Hyde scoffed and folded his arms over his stomach. "I am cocoa brown and it's a beautiful shade and... and no one wants your lobster and paper white skin!" Hyde rolled his eyes and re-lit the joint. Jackie wrinkled her nose and backed away.

"You know what, Jackie? I don't care. I don't care about my fucking skin color, I don't care about yours, I don't care. Okay? So just leave me alone." Hyde snapped, then began to walk away from her. He could feel his annoyance tolerance reach the negatives, and if she tried one more thing, heads were going to roll.

Hyde tensed when feeling her cool hand on his shoulder, and he winced from the pressure; but it stopped him. He looked down and saw Jackie staring up at him.

"You're lying," she murmured, Hyde slowly moved his eyes from the ground, and met her mismatched pair. "You're lying to everyone, Steven and I know it." Hyde scoffed and turned away, but he felt her hand turn his cheek towards her, and he almost flinched from the gentle-ness. "You think you can hide everything with those sunglasses but when you don't have them, all your emotions show. You can't lie without them." Hyde sighed and pulled slowly away from her, he didn't get it. He didn't get her. She just... she needed to leave him alone. But he wouldn't let her know he was nervous, so he just laughed.

"What the hell are you talking about, Toto? You don't know what you're saying, you don't understand. Anything. You're probably upset because your "cocoa brown skin" isn't as dark as you want it to be," he snapped, Jackie closed her eyes and took a slow deep breath, before gazing at him once more.

"You probably think that. But I'm not that oblivious." Jackie finally mumbled, Hyde snickered darkly.

"Well, your obviously oblivious to the fact that I hate you."

"Liar," Jackie barked, her eyes momentarily flashing emotion. "So tell me, how'd you get the black eye and the fat lip? Some fight, huh?" She mocked him.

"I'm so fucking sick of everyone asking me how I got the God damn black eye, it doesn't matter. And why would I tell you, anyway?" As he hissed his reply, he could see Jackie was slightly offended from his burst, yet he didn't care.

"Yes it does," Jackie replied, looking up at him hopefully. "It does matter."

"Your easy-bake oven head couldn't understand." He felt Jackie kick him again and he felt his leg buckle from the sudden hit. "Jackie, seriously, just go away, I don't know why you keep persisting this communication between us but I pretty much can not stand you. So just... go away."

Hyde felt a twinge in his heart as he heard the young girl sniffle. He closed his eyes and felt his stomach churn... she was going to cry. And not like she did to weasel him into taking her to prom... this was real.

_'Don't do this, man,' _he warned himself, as he opened his eyes,_ 'don't do it.' _The inner monologue tried to persuade him, but his conscience always got the best of him.

"Jackie... don't... don't do this," he murmured, softening his voice and expression as he hesitantly patted her shoulder. The fifteen year old peered at him with glassy eyes and he felt his heart sink. He really made her cry. He felt her wrap her arms around him in a hug and her soft sobbing noises were muffled by his shirt. "Hey... don't cry," he whispered; he didn't like her... but he couldn't stand to see anyone cry. Especially her... and he didn't understand why.

"We're just trying to help you," she finally mumbled, wiping her eyes as she looked up at him. Her mascara was smeared around her eyes and left black trails down her cheeks.

He spoke softly as he said, "Jackie, you wouldn't understand. None of you would. I don't want help, or someone to talk to-"

"Help me, help someone understand! And you say you don't _want_ someone to talk to... but you _need_ someone. Everyone does, Steven!" Hyde sighed heavily and ran his hand through his hair; God she was so infuriating.

"Jackie..."

"You don't always have to be alone." Hyde took a deep breath and ignored her comment. His monologue screamed at him to _'get her away before you do something stupid!' _And he listened.

"For God's sake, get it through your head. _I-am-fine._ Now go home and cry to mommy and daddy about how your precious Michael would rather fuck Pam Macy than you." He heard her strangled cry as she broke down once more, and instantly he regretted it. As she shook violently from her sobs, she glared up at him.

_'Don't do it, don't do it...' _he repeated to himself.

"I hate you, Steven Hyde. I hate you!" Jackie screamed, then bolted. He felt her words temporarily sting him; he deserved it. That was a really low blow and he shouldn't have said it. But he didn't want to tell her anything, he didn't want to tell anyone what was going on. And he knew... if she stayed around much longer with that sad attitude he would do what he could to make her happy; which would be to tell her what was going on. But he couldn't.

Hyde shuffled his feet as he walked back to his house, head hung low. Why did he feel so bad for saying what he did? Jackie wasn't important... he didn't care about her. She was just Kelso's on again off again girlfriend, she'd be gone soon. Hyde would never have to see her or deal with her again. But in his gut, he felt that wasn't true. She'd be around for a long time. Partially because she'd end up with Kelso again, and she had found a shocking friendship with Donna.

"Dammit," he grumbled, taking a drag from the joint once more. Jackie was a pest, a tick, a parasite that got under your skin. She irritated him to no end, but eventually he gave up hope of getting rid of it; her. Time went by, and slowly Hyde got used to the constant itch that he so badly want to scratch but... it would never help. She would still be there, the (b)itch wouldn't go away no matter how hard he tried. And to make it worse, he had actually grown to sometimes like... no... tolerate her presence. That was it. And she burrowed deeper and deeper into his skin, growing closer and closer to him though they had a mutual dislike; it somehow brought them closer. Until she somehow wormed her way, like a tapeworm into his-

_'No way,'_ thought to himself, climbing up his rotted front porch. Sighing softly, he opened the door and blindly felt for the light switch. After turning on the light, he entered the much more organized house (although it was still trashed) and collapsed on the couch.

He could still hear her say that he didn't have to be alone. And he didn't, dammit, he didn't. He knew that, way deep down. It was him who pushed people away, it was him who kept a distance from his friends. She was right; all they wanted to do was try to help him... including her. But he wouldn't let them. And when he was upset, he had to have them be upset to, no one could be happy. Subconsciously, he made sure no one would be content... or he tried his damn hardest. It was selfish, it was cruel. But most of all it was exactly like Edna.

Hyde felt his stomach twist at that. How long was he going to do this? How long would he hurt the people he loved because he was too selfish, too scared to admit that he was scared? Hyde groaned loudly and smacked his head against the arm rest of the couch.

How did Jackie do this? All the time, she made him think about everything. She had this intelligence that she never showed, this wisdom that she passed off as bitchiness. Yet she used it with him; what was her motive? Why did she care? Why did he care? But she was always there... she always told him that he wasn't alone... but he didn't know what she meant. He didn't get why she went out of her way to be nice to _him_ when she was so mean to everyone else. Even Kelso.

"Shut up..." he growled woefully, almost like a whine as he tried his hardest to clear his mind from all thoughts, all ideas and theories and emotions and Jackie. But it didn't work. She was still there, still telling him that he didn't have to be alone.

But he knew he didn't have to be alone. He just wanted to; and Jackie knew that, too. But she wanted to change that. But why? He didn't understand. Why bother with someone who is set in their ways instead of trying to make her ex-boyfriend be the guy she wanted to make her life better?

And yet, his reply that he wanted to say rang in his head, it was the one thing that he always lived by. Kept him away from everyone else...

"_It's not that I have to be alone; I want to be alone. Everyone leaves, anyway..."_

_

* * *

_

_**Author's Note: Hope you enjoyed this chapter! I'm going to be posting a Valentine's Day special chapter just for this chapter, and it will be shorter. But I'm pretty sure you'll like it. Though it's not canon, it'll fit, I'll make it. Look for that later today! **_

_**Love,**_

**_Angie_**


	49. Valentine's Day Special

_**Author's Note: Yes, I decided to do a chapter for Valentine's day because I simply cannot wait to write like this... it's frustrating sometimes but this helps :). I hope you enjoy, I think you will. It's cute, it's sad, but then there is a shocking twist in which you will laugh (hopefully).**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: I hope you all had an amazing Valentine's Day (or Singles Awareness Day -S.A.D- in which I celebrated) but I hope you all had a terrific day with your lover, your hubby/wifey, your family, your friends, a pet, or if you're like me, your notebook! Just kidding. I have a life. I swear.**_

_**PPS: Not putting lyrics as title, but the title of the song is "Vermillion Pt. 2"**_

* * *

_She seemed dressed in all of me, stretched across my shame. All the torment and the pain leaked through and covered me. I'd do anything to have her to myself, just to have her for myself. Now I don't know what to do, I don't know what to do when she makes me sad. But I won't let this build up inside of me. I won't let this build up inside of me. A catch in my throat, choke. Torn into pieces; I won't. No. I don't want to be this but I won't let this build up inside of me..._

Hyde sat on the couch, staring up at the ceiling. He had stayed like this for three hours or more, he didn't even know anymore. He couldn't get rid of his thoughts or his emotions, no matter how hard he tried. The high had worn off, and all he could think of was... how crappy he treated Jackie. He knew never to bring up Kelso to her, but that was her weakness, and he used that to hurt her. That's what he did, with everyone. All of his friends, he made sure to crush them where they hurt the most.

But this time, he felt he had gone too far. The countless times he tried to make her feel better about Kelso cheating on her, the conversations they had... and she wouldn't understand that this would keep happening. Or maybe she did. But she hoped that he would change, be a better man.

Hyde groaned in annoyance as he hesitantly stood up off the couch. He had no idea what he was doing, and why he was doing it. But it just felt... he felt guilty. He wanted to make it better.

He didn't even stop to put on his shoes, he just walked out the door. The asphalt was still warm from the blistering hot day; he was paying for the effects of the sun all over his body. He turned left, and though he tried to turn around, to go back to his house and sleep, he felt his feet move faster. From a slow walk, to a jog, to a sprint. Hyde didn't understand... but he had to do this.

After running the four blocks, he turned to take another right and bolted. He didn't even need to pay attention to his directions, he knew these roads and turns by heart. There were shortcuts everywhere, as well.

Hyde could hear his heart pounding quickly in his head as he zipped throughout the darkened streets of Point Place. His muscles ached with his constant moving, his lungs were practically screaming for air, but he wasn't going to stop until he got there.

The houses were a blur to him as he ran throughout the town, yet he could notice the gradual changes in shape and condition. From the shacks and shambles that he lived in, to the middle-class and comfortable homes like the Forman... to the mighty and mountainous mansions that the Burkharts resided in. He had been there before; he sneaked in her house a few times to see if there was anything worth stealing; all there was was really good alcohol and cigars.

As he ran up the cement hill that would eventually lead him to her house, he felt his pace slow. Sweat dripped down his forehead and neck and made his shirt cling to his skin. The salty liquid stung his sunburn yet he ignored it as he finally halted in front of the gate of the Burkhart's mansion.

Momentarily catching his breath, he stared at the large iron gates that he knew wouldn't squeak. They were too tall to climb, too narrow to squeeze between, but there was one way to get in. This was a reason he was glad to be friends with Kelso while he dated Jackie.

Hyde laid flat on his stomach and lowered his head until it grazed against the perfectly trimmed grass. Ever so slowly, the sixteen year old back his legs under the pointed gate. He hissed as the ends of the iron slid over his feverish skin yet he grit his teeth and continued to slide to the other side.

Hyde sighed with relief as he laid on the lush green grass of the Burkhart property. He was still skinny enough to do that- which was a shocker; he had grown a lot since last year. He bounced onto his legs once more and silently ran up to the large mansion.

Forgetting his apprehension of large houses, Hyde stared up at the giant oak tree in front of the house; they climbed this many times to sneak in the house. Hyde jumped as high as he could to grip the lowest branch and took a deep breath as he pulled himself up. Once he made it on the first level, it would be much easier; thankfully he was highly coordinated and the branches grew close together.

He appeared as a rather large chimpanzee as he launched himself from branch to branch, climbing to the top of the tree until he reached the balcony; the third level of the house. Taking a deep breath, he leaped off of the thin branch he was perched on, and landed on his knees within the peaceful balcony outside of Jackie's window.

Turning around, Hyde could see in her room from the glass doors. There was a tiny lamp that gave off a dim light, as well as a scattered amount of candles lit to give it a calming feel. He could see outlines of posters and pictures pinned up on her wall, and he knew that her entire room was pink and plushy. But what caught his attention was the tiny lump curled up on her king-sized bed, gathered under countless blankets.

Tapping the door, he watched as the lump moved and a small heady poked out of the blankets. Jackie looked around and curled up once more, this time outside of the blankets. He watched as she hugged her legs close to her chest and sobbed heavily, his heart sank as she did so.

Jackie was just a girl, a small little girl who was so innocent and naïve despite her relationship with Kelso. For God's sake she was holding onto a pink unicorn and her room had stuffed animals of all varieties everywhere. The entire room was pink, she had crushes on famous singers and actors, and she believed in love. And he hurt her...

Hyde rapped his knuckles against the glass door once again, he watched as Jackie's head popped up once more. She turned to look out her window and jumped out of bed and grabbed something.

_'Shit' _Hyde thought as she charged to the door with a baseball bat.

She furiously opened the door and raised the bat in one hand, but when she saw who it was, she dropped her defense. Jackie backed away, wiping her smeared eyes and her lower lip trembled.

"Steven, what are you doing here?" She asked suspiciously, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and gazed at the ground.

"I dunno, I... just... I dunno..." he mumbled, looking up at her. Jackie's arms were folded across her chest, and she was smirking.

"You came here to apologize, didn't you?" She asked, her eyes lighting up. Hyde sighed and ran his hand through his hair.

"No, I just..." he trailed off, clearing his throat. "Fine... I felt bad, okay? What I said was harsh, and I just... I'm... sorry..." Jackie's expression softened and she slowly walked up to him. He expected her to start screaming at him like Donna did whenever he did something stupid, yet felt himself tense when she embraced him in a hug.

"It means a lot to me, thank you, Steven." She mumbled, quickly letting go. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and looked around, unsure of what to do. "Can I ask you a question?" He shrugged once more and gave a little nod.

"Whatever," he mumbled, she ushered him into her room, then sat on her bed, still clutching her unicorn. Hyde shut the door and sat on the end of the bed, unsure of where else to sit.

"What really happened to your eye?" He groaned inwardly and looked at the floor. How did he know it was going to be that question?

"I told you, I went to the bar and I wouldn't pay for the beer so I got-"

"That's a lie, Steven, if you went to the bar you'd pay for it, I know that," Hyde scoffed and scratched the back of his neck. "Please... tell me what happened?"

"I told you, I got in a fight!" he growled softly, eying her. She looked at him and smiled.

"You're not wearing your sunglasses,"

"Shut up." he hissed, making her slink away.

"So... you got in a fight? Not a bar fight?" Hyde lowered his head, "what was the fight about?"

"Doesn't matt-"

"Don't you say it doesn't matter, Steven." Jackie barked, "tell me," she ordered.

"My... mom." Jackie tilted her head, confused.

"Your mom?" Hyde groaned and nodded, crossing his legs on her bed. He knew he'd be here for awhile now...

"Yeah..." he trailed off.

"Were you protecting your mom?" She asked, Hyde laughed darkly.

"Not really..." Jackie eyed him, trying to figure it out.

"Because of your mom?" He looked up and she caught his gaze.

"Why do you care?"

"Because I want to help you, Steven! Trust me... please? I won't tell anyone, I promise." Hyde looked deep in her eyes, and like him, you could see all of her emotions in her two toned eyes. She was telling the truth.  
"Jackie... my mom and I don't get along. I pretty much hate her..." Jackie nodded, proving that she would stay silent. "She leaves a lot, comes back three weeks later after being bailed out of jail for one reason or another and..."

"Steven..." Jackie warned, glaring at him, Hyde felt his throat tighten.

"One night I came home and the house was empty... or I thought it was. But I saw a suitcase, and my mom came out. And she told me she was leaving..." Hyde trailed off, and saw Jackie raise her fist. "Dammit, Jackie! My mom said she was leaving for good, said she should've gotten an abortion... and I started yelling at her. And we fought. Then her boyfriend thought I hit her and started beating on me, and we got in a fight and then they left."

"Did you hit her?" Jackie asked timidly, Hyde shook his head.

"I'd never hit anyone out of anger." Jackie scoffed.

"You hit Michael, Eric, and Fez all the time," Hyde shrugged.

"I'm not really mad at them, it's different, man..."

"So why did he think you hit her?"

"Why so many questions?" Hyde asked, Jackie gazed up at him, he saw her eyes were filled with tears. Sighing softly, he mumbled, "She was on the floor crying..."

"Then why did she leave you?" Jackie cried out, tears streaming once more down her face. Hyde felt himself cringe and pat her back softly once more. "I'm sorry, Steven..."  
"Dammit Jackie, don't-"

"I'm not going to pity you, you're not the only one who has to go through that you know!" Jackie snapped, her eyes widened and she quickly covered her mouth. Hyde peered at her curiously.

"What?" Was all he asked. Jackie sighed and her legs began to shake with nerves.

"You have to promise me you wont't tell anyone. Especially Michael." Jackie growled lowly, Hyde shrugged his shoulders. "Promise!"

"Fine, I promise, my God..." Hyde shook his head in awe at this girl in front of him. She was so different than he had ever seen her.

"My parents... they're never home. My mom's somewhere in South America, Paradise Falls or something, and my dad is in Chicago mostly. Sometimes he goes to New York. He comes back to make sure the maids don't question his parenting," Hyde scoffed and Jackie looked about ready to slap him.

"And they don't question it," Hyde stated more than asked, but Jackie nodded.

"I understand more than you think, Steven... you wouldn't believe it if I hadn't told you. And I've only been slapped twice by my mom... but I know." Hyde shrugged his shoulders. "Does it hurt?" He shook his head. "Is this the first time?"

"Jackie..." Hyde almost sang to warn her.

"Just tell me, don't go into specifics."

"No." Hyde mumbled, "this is like getting brussel sprouts instead of mashed potatos for me." Jackie raised her eyebrows and smiled sadly, but curiously at him. "This isn't bad compared to what I've been through."

After that, they sat in silence. Jackie was probably trying to figure out what Hyde had been through, and he was sitting there, shocked that he told her more than most people found out in ten years. She knew more than even Donna did. She was the Devil. Jackie was the ultimate-

"Steven... can I tell you something?" Jackie finally asked, looking extremely nervous.

"Whatever," he mumbled, playing with the ring on his finger.

"I can't change Michael," she murmured, voice shaking. Hyde looked up at her, confused. "What I want him to be, he isn't, and I realize that... but I love him. I really do. But he isn't... he isn't this person that can grow up and take care of me. He will probably always be a boy. I need someone who is mature and a man, who is stable, and I can depend on. I never realized why I was trying to change him into this person that he can't be. Until now. I don't know a lot of mature men, or women for that matter. I always thought my dad was mature, but he's not. He's just greedy and money hungry, and I was raised that way. But deep down, I know that it's not what I want, it isn't what's important. My dad doesn't know how to love people. I want true love, not a crutch with money and a man to sleep next to me so I can feel loved. I want to be loved... and it's hard to convince myself all of this, but it's true. Michael can never be that man for me, but I care about him, so much. He was my first love, my first... everything." Jackie paused, Hyde watched as tears streamed out of her eyes. "He is my safety line, yet I don't feel safe with him. He is everything my parents want for me, but what if... what if I don't want that?"  
"Fuck parents." Hyde growled, startling Jackie. "It's your life, man, do with it whatever you want. Make your own rules, live your life how you want it. Don't make mommy and daddy happy because you're their kid. Look at my parents. They're gone... they'd rather have me dead but hey, I didn't let that happen! Do what you wanna do, don't regret anything, man, just do it." Jackie smiled at him and laughed softly as she wiped away her tears.

"I know... and there is someone that I love, someone that has had my heart for a long time. I've just been too scared to see it, to realize it. He's what I want. Mature, strong, he does whatever he wants without any worries. And over the years I've tried to make Michael be like him. But now... now I can't. No one could be him. And I don't love Michael, like I said, he's safe... because this man, he doesn't like me. He can't stand me." Jackie was crying now, and Hyde felt himself tense. He knew she was venting and he didn't want to bother her.

"Hey, I'm surprised Michael can even stand you," Hyde joked, yet his face fell when he watched her body convulse in heavy sobs. "Hey, hey Jackie, Jacks... come on. I was kidding!" Hyde tried his hardest to convince her, but she wouldn't stop crying. He had done too much to her tonight. "Hey, hey, it's okay, I was just kidding, doll... calm down," Hyde whispered, gently rubbing her back like his grandma always did to him when he was crying as a child. And just like him, she gradually ceased her crying as he caressed her back.  
Jackie took a deep breath and looked into his eyes and softened when seeing they were full of concern. "Thank you, Steven," She murmured, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Not a problem," he responded, unsure of what else to say.

"I just... I don't get it. I do get it, but I don't want to get it. But I do, I understand that I love him... but I don't want to. He isn't right for me, it would never work." Jackie rambled, Hyde chuckled.

"Well, yeah, Kelso isn't the best guy to be with."

"I'm not talking about Michael!" Jackie screamed. "I'm talking... I'm talking about you!" Hyde stiffened, his heart beating rapidly. He felt his body chill as all of the blood ran from his face.

"Me?" He finally whispered, voice quivering. "You like me?"

"No." Jackie replied, slowly lacing her hand between his. He feels his breath quicken, his mind whirling madly; he's too shocked to pull away from her hand. "I don't like you." Hyde stared at her, confused. She just said that she liked him, and now she said she didn't. And why did he feel so upset about it? "I didn't say I like you, Steven. I said I love you."

Hyde felt sick. He didn't know what to do as he stared at this girl, his best friend's ex-girlfriend. This wasn't what he wanted, this wasn't what she wanted. She was sad and confused and he was trying to make her feel better. That's all.

"No you don't." He croaked, throat dry, Jackie laughed.

"I do," she whispered, then leaned in. Hyde shivered as her lips touched his and he couldn't bring himself to pull away. She had the softest lips he had ever felt. And the taste of vanilla lip balm made it all better. He could feel his heart practically leap out of his chest as he realized what he was doing.

_'I'm kissing Kelso's girlfriend!'_ Hyde cried inside his head, as he felt his hand run through her soft raven curls. _'I'm kissing Jackie Burkhart,'_ But she didn't feel like Kelso's girlfriend, she didn't feel like that girl that he grew up to loathe all these years. This couldn't be her. As her hands rested on his waist, he pulled her in for the most romantic kiss he could muster.

"Just like the first time," she whispered, her breath hot. He felt himself smile before pulling her in for another kiss, and slowly leaned her down on the bed. Hyde tried his hardest to keep his hands from flying under her shirt, yet as his shirt rode up his back, her manicured fingernails slid against his skin. Hyde shivered and placed his knee in between her legs as he gently kissed the soft skin of her neck. Her breath was short and erratic as he planted tiny kisses from the nape of her neck to her collar bone.

Jackie's nails dug deep in his shoulder and he winced from the sudden shock of pain.

"Steven," she panted, his hand slowly gliding down her stomach, to the waist-line of her pajama pants. "Don't stop-"

Hyde's eyes popped open in horror as he found himself face down on the couch in his living room. His shoulder was in the corner of the arm rest and sent searing shocks of pain throughout his body. Quickly he adjusted his shoulder, and found himself laying face down on the couch, with one knee bent.

Raising his head, Hyde looked around, his mind whirring like crazy against the light headed-ness. He slowly turned onto his back, and sighed heavily, staring up at the ceiling.

'_Did I just dream that?'_ Hyde asked himself, feeling slightly crestfallen as realization hit him. Hard.

"Fuck," Hyde whispered, feeling a very uncomfortable tightness in his jeans. He closed his eyes and attempted to calm his breathing, but every time he closed his eyes, he saw that same image. "Dammit," Hyde groaned, leaning his head back and hitting his neck against the arm rest repeatedly.

"No way do I like _Jackie freaking Burkhart_," Hyde told himself. But he didn't believe it, it wasn't easy to convince himself that anymore.

"Shower," Hyde finally decided, throat tight as he ran to the bathroom.

* * *

_**Author's Note:**_

_**See, I totally made it canon and it works! I found the loop hole, I beat the system! Be proud :D.**_

_** Hopefully you enjoyed this chapter, and look for "Hyde Moves In" Coming next! (Hopefully soon)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_


	50. ZZYZX Rd

_**Authors' Note: I love you people! You're so awesome, and I apologize for the long wait for this chapter. To me, this is one of the most important chapters and it needs to be read and one of the best in this entire story. I love this episode, and I really really hope I do it justice. There will be original parts in it... but they will fit with the script... so no worries. This story will remain completely canon (up until season 8... which I decided to make my own version, if you didn't know.)**_

_**Now: A round of applause and a moment of recognition for my amazing readers/reviewers:**_

_** nannygirl- I love your reviews, I've said this so many times but they really keep me going. They're amazing!**_

_**MistyMountainHop- Thank you so much for your always kind and very helpful reviews! I always look forward to what you have to say and I'm so glad that you love this story. I just wanted to thank you so much for them; you're awesome! :)**_

_**ZedLeppelin: So glad that you're liking this story, and thanks for your reviews, they're so nice! I think that's a record time for reading this story, by the way (even beat me when I read through the first 35 chapters!) Thanks so much!**_

_**twiniitowers: Thank you for being a constant reviewer who always encourages me to continue. I'm so glad to have you on board with this story, you're an amazing author and you're just awesome! :D**_

_**If I could I would give you all a hug, a plate of cookies, and a pitcher of Kitty's homemade lemonade! :D**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: At the beginning there is a lot of dialogue, but it levels out towards the end. Don't worry. Gotta add some humor before the drama!  
**_

_**Now... presenting the much waited for chapter...**_

* * *

**Hyde Moves In**

_I don't know how else to put this, it's taking me so long to do this. I'm falling asleep and I can't see straight. My muscles feel like a melee, my body's curled in a U-shape; I put on my best, but I'm still afraid. Propped up by lies and promises, saving my place as life forgets; maybe it's time I saw the world. I'm only here for a while and patience is not my style, and I'm so tired that I got to go. Where am I supposed to hide now? What am I supposed to do? Did you really think I wouldn't see this through? Tell me I should stick around for you, tell me I can have it all, I'm still too tired to care and I got to go..._

Hyde didn't know what to do. The past couple weeks seemed to be alright, things were going smoothly. Until he ran out of food. Until he lost power because he couldn't pay the bills. Until his landlord had given him the eviction notice; he had five days to leave. And to where? What the hell was a sixteen year old boy going to do? He had nowhere to go; two thousand dollars was enough for awhile. But what was he going to do when the money ran dry? Hyde didn't want to use the money his grandparents had given him for this.

He had quit raiding the Forman's house. One day he had heard Red and Kitty talking about their financial problem, of course Eric didn't know anything about it. But Hyde had been mooching off of them too much and far too long and he couldn't do that to them. They needed what he took from them... he'd figure something else out.

Hyde had even run out of his stash, and there was no way he could get to Kenosha to get more. He didn't trust Edna's old dealers, she bought the hard kind and more than likely they would try to get him hooked on the amphetamines and he was only into mild hallucinogens and hemp.

But he was in denial. Everyday he told himself things were fine, that everything was okay. Even though he could feel himself slowly winding down, like everything else in his life. He was falling, slowly, gradually, yet he could feel it. The constant gnawing on his stomach wasn't the only clue, either. But there wasn't anything he could do about it.

And while this was going on, he and his friends had nothing to do, which didn't help keep his spirits high. The six had nothing to do; sitting in the basement was... dare he say it, boring. It's what they did everyday. He wouldn't mind so much if they had a stash, yet Kelso was too selfish and greedy to share his.

Tonight Donna had persuaded Eric to actually get off his ass and drive everyone around, trying to find something for all of them to do. So the six had piled into the Vista Cruiser and took off, cruising, searching, and talking aimlessly.

Hyde actually got to sit in his old seat today; the passenger. Donna was comfortably perched between them in the middle seat and Kelso, Fez, and Jackie were in the back. He was sure the lovebirds, to specify which Jackie and Kelso, were making out in the back, Fez was probably about to go insane from his hormonal instincts, and Eric and Donna probably wanted to venture in to Jackie and Kelso's arts. Thankfully they were the couple who kept their displays of affection private... usually.

Hyde's eyebrows furrowed as he caught sight of the rundown house that looked familiar. Hadn't they passed by this area already? He peered out the window and sighed heavily.

"Guys, can we do something besides cruise? It's the third time tonight we've driven by that house..." Hyde mumbled, he heard Eric sigh in slight annoyance, yet he didn't care. He was bored.

"You know what we could do… we could go skinny dipping! Naked! That's the way God intended!" Kelso cried; a chorus of scoffs and quiet chuckles filled the small space in the car.

"No way." Hyde heard Jackie say, he felt his lips curl up in a smirk. Of course she wouldn't want to, they had taken her once and she hated it.

"Why not? It'd be fun," Kelso tried to persuade, Donna sighed and turned around to face Kelso.

"Well sure, it's fun for you guys, 'cause you get to look at us, and that's a treat! But we just get to look at you and that's nasty!" Hyde felt his lips tug to a full smile now.

"So, you don't wanna do it?" Eric asked, sounding slightly dejected.

"Well, I don't care, I'll do it." Hyde's eyebrows raised when he heard her answer; she would?

"Oh, okay, I'm in!"

_'Of course he would be,' _Hyde thought sarcastically.

"Naked is dirty," Fez piped up, Hyde glanced back and shrugged his shoulders. "Dirty, dirty dirty, dirty dirty dirty!" Fez started singing over and over. Everyone began to laugh as they heard their odd friend start singing, and soon, everyone else was.

Eric sped off down Main Street that would take them out of town. As they drove farther and farther away from Point Place, Hyde felt lighter. His friends had nothing to worry about, except if anyone else would see them naked. All he wanted was his biggest irk to be self-consciousness or modesty. And as the distance grew, his apprehension shriveled to just that. He didn't care about anything right now except having fun.

As the seventeen year old driver killed the headlights, he slowed the wagon to a crawl as they wound up a spiral road that lead to the reservoir. Evergreens of all kinds created dark silhouettes against the nearly pitch black ground, but they all could see the limbs swaying and reaching in the light breeze. With the windows rolled down, the strong scent of lake water soon filled the car, and the night noises of the wild soon rang much louder than their voices. Owls hooted in the black abyss, crickets chirped happily while night birds sang their greetings. The full moon was half covered by wispy clouds outlined by the light, and the stars twinkled freely in the ocean-like sky. Hyde sighed softly as he peered out the window as he thought the same thing as everyone else- this was beautiful.

Eric parked the car along the make-shift parking lot of the reservoir. As quietly as possible, the six crawled out of the Vista Cruiser and grinned at one another.

"Has it always looked like this?" Eric asked, peering towards the darkened water where the reflection of the moon glittered on the surface. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, it makes skinny dipping more romantic," Donna mumbled to him as she wrapped her arm around him. Jackie nodded happily and gazed with starry eyes at Kelso who grinned goofily at her.

"So... are we gonna do this?" Kelso piped up finally as he ripped off his shirt.

"Yeah, guys you go first and Jackie and I will be down there once you're all in the water," Kelso scoffed.

"I've already seen Jackie, naked, Donna, there's no point in that!" At that, Jackie slapped him and followed Donna to the other side of the car, where they waited quietly for the boys to undress and dive into the water.

Hyde noted that after the two girls left, the situation only grew more awkward.

"Guys, we're going to walk down there together, naked." Eric murmured quietly.

"We've done it before, Eric, you've got nothing to worry about!" Fez chirped, Hyde stifled back a chuckle as he saw Eric's face grow even more nervous.

"Don't worry guys, I won't laugh at you," Kelso boomed, Hyde glanced over at his already nude friend and scoffed.

"Easy for you to say," the sixteen year old grunted, which earned a piercing gasp from Kelso.

"Fez is right, we've had gym together our whole lives, and how many times have we gone skinny dipping? Too many to count, plus we were all supposed to go streaking when President Ford came to town, but you all chickened out!" Hyde shrugged as he tossed his shirt on the hood of the car.

"Forman," Hyde grumbled, momentarily glancing in his friend's direction. Donna and Jackie were both listening to the conversation the four teenage boys were carrying on. After they heard Eric's nervous rambling, they had quietly giggled from the other side of the car. "This whole skinny dipping thing wouldn't be so freaking awkward if you'd just shut up."

At that, Kelso and Fez roared with laughter and Eric just glared at Hyde. But Eric's freaking out made the air tense and Hyde couldn't help but feel the awkward-ness that Eric felt.

"Don't worry, Eric, you have less to worry about than Kelso. Or should I say more," Fez chirped in hopes that his friends would laugh at the burn. Hyde took a step back from Fez and buckled his belt once more. This was going nowhere.

The four friends stood quite awkwardly together, unsure of what to do. Two of the four were standing in the buff and not doing a thing to cover themselves, one was having an inward battle that probably had the same effect of one of Shakespeare's most famous quotes altered for the situation- "To shed? Or not to shed?" And the other stood there, half naked, staring at his feet.

An annoyed groan filled the air and the rustling of tall grass was heard. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw flaming red hair and the paleness of Donna's body. Next to her was Jackie, who was darker than Donna, yet trying to cover herself up more.

"We're sick of waiting for you pansies to grow a pair so either come with us and have some fun or stay up here standing naked in front of each other," Donna barked, then quickly ran down the hill with her arms covering her front. Jackie glanced at the boys, then to Donna, and quickly scampered off to follow her tall friend.

After the two girls were in the lake and squealing from the cold, Kelso high-tailed it down the beach in excitement. Fez turned his head multiple times back and forth between Kelso and Eric and Hyde. Finally he made his decision after yelling something in his native language that Hyde could only guess was "boobs!"

Eric appeared to be in an inner battle with himself on whether or not to skinny dip or not. Hyde rolled his eyes and turned to look at the darkened lake.

"Shouldn't you go after them?" Hyde asked, hearing Fez giggling giddily as he zipped into the shallow water and belly flopped- he winced at that.

"Why?" Eric asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders nonchalantly as he watched his two friend attempt to sneak up on Donna and Jackie in hopes to see their breasts.

"Well do you want them to see your girl naked?" Hyde responded coolly and watched in amusement as Eric scrunched his face in anger; more at himself for the fight going through his brain. With the blink of an eye Eric was storming down the beach in his birthday suit, screaming at Donna to cover herself, and Fez and Kelso to "back off or he'll kick both of their asses!" Hyde smirked and laughed out loud as he watched his friends scream and attack each other in the water.

Half-laughing, half-sighing, Hyde unzipped his jeans and tossed them, along with his boxers, on the hood of the Vista Cruiser. The sand was cold as he began to walk along the beach. Unlike his friends, he didn't rush to the water. He didn't think it occurred to them that they were in the dark- therefore nothing was visible unless standing less than a foot away from each other. And although it was chilly, he didn't really feel like running.

As he stepped in the shallow waters than rolled higher onto the shore as waves rippled through, he could hear his friends laughing as they tackled one another. Or Kelso and Fez, that is.

"I just saw Fez butt!" Jackie cried, shielding her eyes. "I think he has a birth mark there, eww!" the fifteen year old squealed.

"It's a tattoo!" Fez huffed, then was dunked under the water by Kelso. Hyde shook his head as he stood by Eric, who was holding Donna's shoulder. They turned and smiled at him momentarily, then went back to watching their hyperactive friends wrestle each other.

"So, why did we come here again?" Donna asked as she softly chortled. Eric shrugged his shoulders. "God Kelso, I don't want to to see that!" Donna barked, cringing as she turned away to avoid witnessing his flip. Eric and Hyde snickered as she shuddered, then winced as she slugged them in the arms.

"I think we'd all rather be naked than cruising in my overheated car," Eric replied to her question, Donna just blinked; Hyde didn't think she expected an answer.

Hyde listened to Donna and Eric talk, yet pretty much stayed out of the conversation. He hadn't noticed when his eyes had wandered from shifting between the couple to the girl glaring at her boyfriend, her raven hair soaked and clinging to her shoulders and face. He gulped and no matter how hard he tried, he couldn't tear his eyes away as she pulled her hair up in a ponytail. Hyde felt his throat grow dry as he gazed at her tan creamy skin, her chest nearly exposed, yet also hidden from view because of the water.

"I said, 'hello? Earth to Hyde?'" The sixteen-year-old quickly snapped his head to face Donna.

"Yeah, sorry..." hemurmured, sighing as he cleared his thoughts of Jackie. No, he hadn't even been thinking about her...

"What were you staring at?" The older girl asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and coughed into his arm; smoker lungs.

"Nothin'... hey where'd Forman go?" Hyde asked, quickly veering the subject from him to Eric. Donna laughed nervously and nodded her head, as if to point. He turned and watched as Eric and Kelso lifted Jackie, who was screaming the loudest Hyde had ever heard anyone scream before. As he watched Eric hold the small girl's legs, he felt a twinge, like anger, but... different.

'Nah,' Hyde thought, grimacing as he turned back to Donna, 'I'm not jealous, I have no reason to be. Why would I be?' he asked himself. Donna eyed him curiously as he backed away from her.

"What?" Hyde asked awkwardly, Donna shook her head and covered her ears.

"MICHAEL CHRISTOPHER!" Jackie's shriek nearly stopped Hyde's heart, or cracked his ear drums. A loud splash was heard, and howling laughter soon followed.

"Hyde... how are you?" Donna questioned him, as they ignored the water fight in the deeper water. He stiffened at her question; it wasn't the casual 'how're you, man?' but the worried tone she always had when she knew something was wrong... with him. Hyde just shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno..." he finally murmured, and that was the truth for once. He didn't know how to feel, what to say, or what to do. In the next few days he'd soon be homeless, his mom had abandoned him, and he had absolutely nowhere to go. He was tired, worried, upset, angry, and confused, but it didn't really matter.

"Do you remember when we'd always talk?" Donna piped up out of the blue.

"How could I forget, kid?" Hyde replied with a question as well, referring back to his childhood nickname for her. Donna laughed quietly and smiled sweetly at him.

"I miss it," she mumbled, Hyde just nodded and smiled at her.

"Mhmm..." he trailed off, his zen temporarily lowered... like always with her.

"I've just been... busy, you know? But... I hope you know I'm always here." Hyde nodded and grinned.

"Same here, Donna. But, can I ask you something?" He asked, eying her. She nodded and the sixteen year old looked deep in her eyes.

"Are you-"

"OUR CLOTHES!" Jackie hollered, interrupting Hyde. The two turned to where Jackie pointed and Hyde watched two people gather their discarded clothes. Hyde immediately bolted out of the lake, along with Kelso who surprisingly appeared angry. Hyde was not letting his favorite shirt and only pair of wearable jeans get stolen.

"CASEY!" Kelso shouted, the two naked teens charging (without acknowledging their nudity much to their friends' laughter.) Hyde squinted his eyes and realized that it really was Kelso's older brother, and one of his friends who were stealing their clothes.

As Hyde clambered up the sandy hill where the Vista Cruiser was park, he heard a loud thud and an 'oof!' from behind him. He whipped his head back momentarily and saw Kelso had tripped over his own feet. Hyde sighed heavily and turned forward once more and heard the roaring ignition of Casey's Trans Am.

Dejection overcame him as he watched the car speed away quickly, leaving the two young men in the front seats laugh at the younger nude boys. Hyde raised his head to the sky and groaned loudly in annoyance, then turned to Kelso who was wiping sand off of his hands.

"Kelso, you're getting our clothes back," Hyde grumbled, Kelso sighed heavily and nodded slowly. "Did you know your brother was coming here?" He asked, Kelso nodded.

"Yeah, he said that there was going to be a party with a keg and hot chicks!" Hyde hit his forehead with his palm and cursed lowly.

"Dammit, you moron..." Hyde growled, Kelso grimaced at Hyde.

"Yeah, well your butt's whiter than mine," Hyde turned around and frogged him viciously.

"Don't look at my ass!" Hyde spat angrily, making Kelso laugh even more. "You're telling them it was your brother," at that, Kelso retreated to the car and Hyde shook his head in anger.

Hyde made his way back down to Fez, Donna, Eric, and Jackie who were kneeling in the shallow end of the reservoir, waiting to hear what Hyde had to say.

"Kelso came here 'cause he thought there was going to be a fucking party, and his brother ended up stealing our clothes," Hyde informed them. After he spoke a chorus of sighs and irritated noises filled his ears. "So we're screwed."

"All right, well... we can just go and try to catch up to them or something," Eric suggested, Donna shrugged her shoulders.

"But they'll just be at their house, it's not that difficult." She reasoned, Eric nodded at that.

"I am not going to go on a wild goose chase without clothes. Before we do anything I am changing into warm clothes and taking a long, hot shower." Jackie huffed angrily, shivering in the warm water.

"I agree," Fez chirped sadly, Hyde sighed and turned to Eric, waiting to see if he had any suggestions.

"All right... well... I'll just take you to my house and we'll change and then we'll go get our clothes," he mumbled. The four of them stood and slowly walked out of the water. Donna and Jackie tried their best to cover themselves, yet it didn't help much. Eventually Donna just gave up, seeing as how the three boys had seen her naked before, anyway.

Hyde glanced over at Jackie who was shivering violently as she hugged herself tightly. There was a battle going on between his hormones and logic; whether or not to ignore her, or to stare at her as much as possible before they got to the car. He chose neither.

"Pretty warm out, why're you so cold?" Hyde asked, trying to pass it off as a joke. Jackie rolled her eyes and grimaced, not even responding to him. He shrugged his shoulders and went back to looking in front of him, trying to ignore the awkward feeling of walking in front of his best friend, his former crush, his slightly pervy friend, and... Jackie.

"I don't feel well," she finally whispered, meeting his eyes momentarily. He felt the corners of his lips twitch awkwardly; he wasn't sure what to do. Say he was sorry? Ignore her?

"That sucks," he murmured, Jackie scoffed and nodded, then quickly scampered to the car as Donna slid in the middle seat. Hyde rolled his eyes and climbed in the backseat next to Kelso, who had been waiting for a slug in the arm.

As the six drove to the Forman's house, they were silent. Hyde, Kelso and Fez were constantly shifting to avoid any physical contact with one another, and the girls were talking quietly with each other. Eric sighed heavily and turned off of the gravel road and finally onto the highway.

"FUCK!" Hyde barked out loud, making everyone except Kelso jump. Hyde turned and punched Kelso in the shoulder and glared at him, then rubbed his chest.

"What?" Donna exclaimed quietly, looking back at him.

"He tried giving me a purple nurple..." Hyde hissed, glaring at Kelso who was beaming with pride. Donna laughed and shook her head, then turned back around to talk with Jackie. When Kelso turned to give Fez a wet willy, Hyde pinched his collar bone, earning a slap on the hand and a light punch on his bicep. The two began to punch each other back and forth, now instead of in anger, in entertainment.

"This was such great idea Michael, this was so much fun! Oh wait, except for the part where our clothes got stolen, you idiot!" Jackie finally snapped at her boyfriend, who was currently trying to see how hard he could pinch Hyde's arm before he got a reaction. Hyde pushed Kelso's hand off of his arm after the skin he pinched turned white and glanced over at Fez.

"By the way Fez, nice tattoo man." Hyde complimented, earning a grin from the currently quiet boy.

"Thank you. It is the blessed Virgin of Jorba Linda. Do you want to see her dance? " Hyde raised his eyebrows and shook his head vigorously, sitting back in his seat.

"No!" They all yelled in disgust, Hyde didn't even want to know how that was even possible.

"Guys, we need a plan, I'm not about to drive to the house with a car full of naked people! Red hates you guys when you're dressed!" Eric blurted, making Hyde chuckle. He sat quietly, trying to help Eric scheme, when a lightbulb seemed to go off in his brain.

"We could go to my house!" Hyde suggested, Eric looked back at him with raised eyebrows. Everyone was quiet as they heard him offer the never visited house.

"Yeah, your mom's used to having naked guys around." Kelso teased, Hyde glared at him and punched him furiously in the arm.

"She's not even home you moron!" Hyde blurted, then bit back his lip. No one seemed to notice his slip and inwardly sighed with relief.

"Put on the top forty!" Fez chirped, leaning up to the front seat to change the dial. Hyde cringed and turned his head towards the window when seeing Fez parts he never planned on seeing.

"Whoa, sit down Fez! I see London, I see Besticle!" Hyde cried, making Kelso and Eric chuckle. Fez turned to him and raised his hands in confusion.

"Well, what do you want me to do about it?" Fez asked him, Hyde rolled his eyes and turned to his friend, then glanced at Kelso's amused face momentarily.

"I don't know..." he began sarcastically, "tuck it in!" At that, the two girls burst out laughing and Hyde furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Rolling his eyes, he leaned back in the seat and sighed heavily, watching as Eric turned down his street.

"So Hyde... you're sure?" Eric asked cautiously, looking at his friend for any sign of disapproval. He only caught a nod and exhaled heavily, slowly pulling into the driveway.

"We can just go through the front," Hyde mumbled, opening his car door. Donna and Jackie looked at him curiously.

"Won't your mom know?" Jackie asked him, Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes motioning his hand for them to climb up the steps.

"Like I said, she's not home," he grumbled, skipping the two rotted steps to his porch. He could feel an awkward tension behind him, yet he chose to ignore it. His friends were never at his house unless it was to pick him up. Fez had never seen his house and even Eric and Kelso had been in it only a few times. He kicked open the door and turned on the light, which would probably make things more awkward for everyone.

As his friends stepped passed the broken screen door, they hesitantly walked into the dirty house. Although he had spent more than a few hours cleaning the house, he eventually gave up and left his clothes and empty beer bottles and cans lying around the floor. They probably had never seen a house quite as trashed as this.

"Donna, Jackie, c'mon, I'll show you where my mom keeps her clothes," Hyde mumbled, walking without self-consciousness throughout the dimly lit house. The two girls followed him quietly.

Hyde urged himself not to look at anything but the dresser as he turned on the light. The room reeked of alcohol, cigarettes, and sweat even though she had been gone for more than a week. He could tell the girls were either confused or impressed by the transition of the rest of the house compared to Edna's room. It was neat an orderly; even more so than Hyde's room. He always wondered why she couldn't take care of the house as she did her bedroom but he knew it was because it was the only place Hyde never went into- that she knew of. The last few months that she was living there he was in there every night to either lay her in her bed, to see if she was okay, or to give her something to eat.

He sat at the edge of her bed and started opening the drawers to her wardrobe. He hoped that Donna and Jackie didn't see that the shelves were empty. Finally he found a few outfits in the bottom drawer and tossed the small pile of clothing on the bed.

"Thanks, Hyde," Donna said, picking up a red blouse and examining it.

"So your mom won't mind?" Jackie asked him, pinching the sleeves of a satin camisole delicately. Hyde shook his head, not wanting to react in a sarcastic way as that would inspire a new wave of questions for him.

"Nah, she won't-" Before Hyde could finish, there was a loud thump that was heard on the other side of the wall- in his room. The sound of howling laughter and a cry of pain was heard and he felt his stomach squirm; what if they broke something? Hyde quickly ran out of the room and down the short hallway to his bedroom. Opening the door, he felt his glare narrow to Kelso who was clutching his head and sitting on his mattress. But what Hyde noticed was that his foot had pierced a whole through his already broken "bed" and sunk to underside of the mattress.

"What the hell?" Hyde barked in annoyance then shook his head at his friends. They immediately silenced and their expressions changed from amused to crestfallen. Hyde sighed softly and dug through his dresser, trying to find clothes for his friends that weren't dirty, ripped, or torn. Hyde pulled out a pair of pinstriped jeans and a white, light-weight long sleeved shirt and tossed it to Fez. Then he handed Kelso the next folded outfit, and frogged him angrily. He stared down at his second to last outfit- his cannabis shirt and a pair of jeans he wore as a freshman. Shrugging, he handed Eric one of his most prized shirts. After offering his clothes to his friends, Hyde quickly dressed into a pair of worn out jeans and decided on his Doors t-shirt.

"Hyde where's your mom?" Eric asked hesitantly as the four walked out of his room. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno, went off with a trucker," he replied nonchalantly. The air was tight after he answered Eric and he hated it. Why were they acting like this now? It wasn't like this was a new thing for him. "Anyone want beer?" He asked his friends. He watched as they beamed and nodded vigorously. Hyde turned and walked into his kitchen and sighed heavily.

He hadn't really been in here much. Only to grab a beer or a bottle of the wide variety of hard liquors his mother had stocked. There was barely and food anymore- right now he was living off of a dried out loaf of bread to "combat the hangovers," he told himself. But that would be gone soon (he glanced wistfully to the tied bag of bread and noticed only three pieces remained.) All he had left is stale saltine crackers and a nearly empty bottle of ketchup.

At that, his stomach rumbled from nearly two days of emptiness, but he ignored it. Yanking the handle of the fridge, he scanned the two shelves for a pack of beer. Hyde grimaced when realizing it was his last case yet he grabbed it anyway.

As he reentered the living room he tossed Kelso one can. The seventeen year old fumbled with the beer can but eventually caught it.

"So, this is your home?" Fez piped up. Hyde ripped another can from its ring and lightly through it to him.

"Yup," he replied, looking at Fez who glanced around the messy room cautiously.

"This explains a lot of your behavior," Hyde just shrugged his shoulders but he wasn't sure what to say about what his friend had just said. He knew it was true- they all did- but was there unsaid words behind Fez's comment?

"C'mon, man, this is great! It's better than Forman's basement, anyway. I just got a color TV and new vice grips so we can watch any channel we want!" He could practically taste the bitterness of his lie. This shack was not better than the Forman's house. Eric knew how Hyde felt about his house- he couldn't make any eye contact with his best friend.

"Hyde... your mom really just ran off with some trucker?" Eric asked him skeptically. Hyde scoffed and turned to his lanky friend.

"No, Forman, I made it up 'cause it sounds so classy," Hyde hissed with a voice heavily tainted with blatant sarcasm.

"Why would she just run off with some trucker?" Eric questioned him once more as he sat on the arm rest of the gutted couch. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"It's spring time! Love is in the air man!" He was trying to add some humor to the situation, so his friends wouldn't worry about him. But not even Kelso looked entertained.

"Hyde... she just left you here alone?" He rolled his eyes and sat on the reclining chair, crossing his legs on the large seat.

"Look, I realize this is hard for you to get your head around Opie. You're failing to see the upside here. We've got food, we've got beer, we have zero adult supervision. Welcome to Camp Naughty Bad Fun!" Hyde was not going to go into what everyone already knew; Edna didn't care about him. She had been leaving him places and trying to get the hell out of Point Place without her tag-a-long mistake since he was seven years old. Hyde watched as Eric opened his mouth to say something, yet when the door to Edna's room opened, he turned his head quickly.

Donna and Jackie walked out, Hyde raised his eyebrows at Donna's choice, yet was more interested in what Jackie wasn't wearing.

"Jackie, you couldn't find anything?" He asked her, Jackie's eyes met with his and she pursed her lips as she fought for words.

"Okay, no offense Hyde, but all your mother's clothes are whory."

"What?" Donna cried out; Hyde suppressed a chuckle as he saw the red head's face pale in shock.

"Oh, but they look great on you Donna!" After hearing Jackie's attempt at repairing the damage, Hyde snickered loudly.

"Thanks," Donna grumbled sarcastically. In hopes to cheer her up, Hyde held up the second to last can of beer as he silently offered it to her. After seeing her nod, he tossed the can with his left hand and smirked as she mouthed 'thanks.'

"Michael, can you please take me home? Look, I think I caught something at the reservoir." Jackie asked, Hyde turned his attention to the couple, as did everyone else.

"Like an eel?" Hyde chuckled softly and listened to his friends titter at the joke, yet Jackie didn't look amused at all.

"No, you idiot, I think I'm sick!" Jackie snarled angrily, clutching her stomach. Hyde figured she was saying that so that they could get out of his house and find a place to have a quickie, yet when he saw her face he noticed that she appeared ashen, yet flushed.

"Oh..." Fez mumbled, "I caught an eel!" Hyde widened his eyes and turned to Fez who looked proud of himself. Slowly he scooted away from him and shuddered inwardly which made Eric and Donna laugh.

"Well, Jackie... I can just take you, since I'm taking everyone," Eric reminded her. Jackie sighed and gave a slight raise of her shoulders as she leaned against the wall. It was her silent way of saying 'I need to go, now' and everyone could read it. "Fine! Are we ready to leave?" Eric asked angrily. Hyde watched his friends shrug or nod. It made complete sense- his friends probably felt awkward sitting at his house. Hell, he felt awkward.

"Okay Hyde, thanks for letting us borrow your clothes-"

"And beer!" Kelso chimed in.

"Do you want to come over?" Eric asked, staring at Hyde sternly. The sixteen year old finally shook his head slowly. He knew what his friend meant. But now that they knew about what was going on, he wasn't going to take their offers- he wasn't some charity case.

"Nah, it's cool," he mumbled, holding up his hand as he waved at Kelso, Fez, and Jackie as they walked back to the Vista Cruiser.

"Oh all right, so I'll see you tomorrow?" Eric asked him. Hyde nodded simply, "Cool, Donna, are you coming?" Both Eric and Hyde appeared confused when she shook her head.

"I'll just walk home, do you want me to call later?" Donna questioned her boyfriend, who nodded.

"All right..." Eric murmured quietly, "see ya," was the last thing Hyde and Donna heard before the squeaky door shut and enveloped them in a comfortable silence.

Donna hopped onto the couch next to Hyde and took a swig of her beer. He just stared at her in confusion as he wondered why she hadn't left with Eric.

"I didn't go because we didn't finish our conversation," Donna announced as if she had read his mind. Hyde pulled out a cigarette and began to fumble in his pocket for a lighter. "So, Edna's gone...?" Donna asked.

"Yup," Hyde replied carelessly as he flicked the wheel on the lighter. Placing the flame on the butt, Hyde inhaled deeply.

"How long now?" Hyde almost laughed out loud at her question. IT wasn't her fault... but he had been asked that too many times today.

"Forever," he told her seriously. He watched as her jaw dropped.

"What?" She cried, a flood of concern evident on her face. "Hyde... oh my... when did she... did she hit you?" Hyde tilted his head curiously, telling her to go on. "When you had the black eye, was that from Edna?" Hyde shook his head and took another long drag from his cigarette.

"Her boyfriend thought I hit her-"

"What?" She blurted "That's insane!" Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"So he went on the defense... or should I say offense?" Donna chuckled softly and gazed sadly at Hyde.

"How are you?" She questioned again. His stomach squirmed and he felt his throat tighten.

"Honestly...?" he asked her and received an eager nod in response. "I don't know."

"Hyde..."

"Donna... I don't know how... it's- I'm supposed to feel, y'know?" Hyde began, much to Donna's surprise. "I mean... I don't know if I should be happy or sad or angry or betrayed or ecstatic...?" Hyde trailed off with a question. Donna seemed impressed however, and so she continued.

"Listen to your own advice: 'forget about the what ifs and the shoulds and woulds and just do it, man.'" Donna quoted him which earned a smile from the hazy eyed teen. "Don't ask yourself how _should_ you feel, but ask how _do_ you feel? You don't have to tell me... but there is no right or wrong feeling." Donna spoke gently, and Hyde softened. For this moment, things were as they had been years before. Where they could tell each other everything- even if it was nothing. But things were different now; he was the one asking for her help (although neither of them would admit it, they knew) and she was the one giving answers. As Hyde gazed at his closest friend he felt as if everything were like those times once more. For the moment, it was just the two of them.

"I'm..." Hyde fought for the words he could feel in his throat but was too apprehensive to say. "I'm scared," he finally whispered. And that was the absolute truth. He was terrified about what was going to happen to him. Would he end up living on the streets when he was evicted? Or in the school? Or sneaking into the Forman's house? He had three days left to figure out what he was going to do. And he was stuck; he couldn't tell anyone. They'd just ship him off to an orphanage or foster care or something and he was almost an adult. He didn't need anyone to take care of him. He didn't need anyone's help or anyone, at all- or at least that's what he convinced himself. But he knew better.

As he looked Donna straight in the eye, he could see her lip tremble and he closed his eyes as he breathed deeply. "I'm just... scared."

* * *

Hyde stared at the wall, trying to block out his thoughts. Trying to ignore the ceaseless rumbling and painful twinges in his stomach from two days of no eating. He had gone to the Forman's house and had eaten there... but after that he hadn't shown his face. They had been nice and he was grateful, but he wasn't going to mooch. He need their efforts; he was going to be fine.

But he knew that was a lie. Today his landlord had came and told him he needed to be out of the house by tomorrow as well as the entire contents. So he spent all morning at the pawn shop, selling all that he could and getting some money from it. Turns out half of the belongings in his house are less than desirable.

Hyde sighed shakily and lied down on the couch, clutching his forehead. The lack of food had given him a headache, plus he had a hangover from the night before. Closing his eyes he curled his legs and held them tightly to his chest.

He could give everything away if he could, except two things. But those two things were the most valuable of all (except the television which he had pawned that morning.) And he wasn't about to give away his guitar and wooden box. Hyde groaned loudly in annoyance and frustration, then violently flung his fist into the couch. There was nothing he could do.

"I'm fucked," he whispered, staring at his hands. Hyde clenched and unclenched his fists and watched as his fingers coiled and recoiled over and over again.

A piercing loud ring filled his ears and he jumped up in surprise. The phone rang throughout the silent house and left a soft echo ricocheting of the walls. Hyde hopped off the couch and ran to the phone, in hopes that it was his landlord who was going to grant him a little while longer to live there.

"Hello?" he asked hopefully, but as he heard the voice on the other end, he felt nauseous.

"Steven." Hyde felt his breath shake and his blood boil at the sound of his mother's voice. "How are you?" Hyde laughed darkly and felt his jaw tighten from his gritted teeth.

"How am I?" he asked menacingly. "WHAT THE FUCK? I'm fucking screwed if that's what you wanted to know."

"Steven, there's no need to yell," Edna spoke calmly... too calmly.

Hyde felt a painful twinge in his heart at the sound of her voice. It wasn't harsh and cruel as it had always been when she lived here. Edna sounded calm, relaxed... happy. The knot in his throat nearly restricted his breathing and he bit back his bottom lip. She was happy because she was away from him... forever.

"Where are you?" He finally asked softly; there was no use in yelling. She wasn't coming home, she didn't care about him.

"Right now I'm in..." she paused for a moment, as if she was making up some state, or country for that matter. "Massachusetts."

"East or west of Wisconsin?" He asked her, in spite.

"West?" He laughed out loud at that. "Steven, what does that even matter? Do you honestly think I'd lie to you?"

"No, mom, no, not at all..." Hyde hissed acidly, his heart pounding with anger he was finding so hard to control. "You're probably still in Wisconsin somewhere, I wouldn't be surprised if you were still in Point Place. Joke's over ma, you had your-"

"You think this is a joke, Steven? Everything was always a fucking joke with you. Nothing mattered to you except your own life, my own happiness never fucking mattered-"

"What the hell? You think I was happy, ma?"

"You will never be happy, Steven! But let me be happy, I don't even know why the fuck I even called you-"

"Oh is that right?" He barked angrily. "Right, whatever makes you happy, because I was such a burden to you. I made your life a living hell-"

"Steven, God dammit! This is exactly what I had to get away from! You, you're so fucking-"

"Honest? Well mom in case you're wondering everything is fucking fine so you don't have to worry about your son." Hyde shouted into the mouth piece of the phone, then slammed it on the base. He ripped the phone and phone cord from the wall and chucked it furiously at the wall; a rather large hole had appeared after the cord was torn from the inner wall.

As he turned around, he spotted a familiar face in the corner of his eye and his heart sank. He sighed heavily and forced a smile on his face as he waved at Eric. His best friend looked frightened, as if he had seen everything.

"Hey Forman," Hyde motioned his hand to welcome him inside and Eric cautiously walked through the doorway.

"Hi..." he chirped, trying to sound like he hadn't seen a thing.

"Come on in, make yourself at home!" Hyde hissed, not controlling his anger or his sarcasm and he didn't care. Eric looked uncomfortable... or scared of Hyde; he never saw him this emotional. "I'm all out of beer, but if you want you can break something." Eric chuckled nervously and shook his head.

"I had my eye on the phone, so... wait, what's that?" He asked, pointing at the chair in front of the couch. Hyde grimaced when spotting the paper plate of last night's "dinner" that he couldn't bring himself to eat.

"Oh... that's uh... crackers with ketchup on it, for uh... for zest." Hyde answered, Eric sighed and turned to his friend.

"Okay, I'm just going to guess Edna isn't coming back?" He asked, as if he knew the answer.

"No, she is she's just been... delayed a little bit." Hyde felt the lie roll off of his tongue and left him feeling sick to his stomach. Why should he lie about his mom?

"Oh, okay." Eric said, sitting down in the chair, Hyde took the couch and. "Oh, okay, didn't there used to be a TV here?" He quizzed him once more, staring at him as if he should just give up. But Hyde wasn't about to do such a thing.

"Yeah, I pawned it." Hyde answered coolly.

"You pawned your mom's TV? Hyde, she's not coming back..." Hyde sighed softly as Eric told him what he had known weeks ago.

"All right, so she's not coming back..." He admitted softly, staring at the ground as he felt Eric's concern radiate from him to Hyde. It sickened him.

"So, so, what are you... what are you gonna do?" Eric asked him, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno... sell the house-"

"You rent!" Hyde knew that, he more than knew that. He stared at the eviction notice that he had ripped in half and set on the end table.

"I guess I'm in more trouble than I thought." Hyde mumbled.

"No, Hyde. No Hyde! I'm serious here! You need help my friend!" Eric cried, Hyde whipped his head in Eric's direction and sneered.

"No Forman, you would need help. I'll be fine!" Hyde practically yelled, which had scared Eric.

"Cool, I brought you a sandwich." His stomach growled when seeing the egg salad sandwich that most likely Kitty had made for lunch that day, wrapped in saran wrap. As Eric outstretched his hand, Hyde quickly took the sandwich and unwrapped it as he sat on the couch.

"Fine, I'll take your sandwich," he grumbled, taking a rather large bite and didn't notice the shock on Eric's face as he wolfed down half of it in two bites. "After this, no more help."

"But Hyde, what are you gonna-"

"Shut it, Forman." Hyde growled warningly, feeling his stomach practically scream for more food- in the form of a rather loud growl. Hyde glanced up at Eric who stared at Hyde worriedly and then sat down next to him.

"Hyde, if you want you can stay at my house for a couple of nights. My parents won't mind, I mean-"

"Forman I don't need help I'm not gonna be your charity case for the week!" Hyde hissed, Eric's face softened.

"No, you wouldn't be! You're over there pretty much everyday as it is, why not just stay?" He asked, Hyde knew Eric would keep persisting... keep urging him to submit, to show that he was seriously in trouble. Though he knew he was in danger, Hyde wasn't about to let anyone know. So, he resorted to the one thing he knew how to do- shove people away.

"Forman, don't you get it? I don't need you or your family's God damn help. I'm sick of it... I'm sick of you. You never knew how to shut up and I can't take you and your fucking perfect family anymore shoving it in everyone else's faces. So just... go. And don't come back." Hyde shook as he nearly screamed that to his best friend, who looked confused, but not angry. Until...

"You know what Hyde? Fine. I'm sick of dealing with your sorry crap all the time, anyway. You think it's all about you? I never thought you were the type to be so selfish but fine. I'm gone." Eric hissed and ran out the door, slamming it on the way out.

Hyde felt his face practically burn as he shook on the couch. He felt his lungs constrict all air from entering or exiting and he squeezed his eyes shut. Resting his head on his knee caps, Hyde clutched his stomach and finally let out a strangled gasp.

He felt his eyes sting yet he kept them shut to hide the emotion. He was angry at himself for all that he said to Forman, all that he didn't mean. They were his family and he should have given in. They are nothing but nice to him and Eric wouldn't judge him for asking to stay at their house for a couple of days until he got things figured out. But, he couldn't show his friends he was weak, he was the strong _one, he was the one who wasn't affected by anything. _

_'So if I'm the strong one,'_ Hyde thought, wiping at his eyes as he tried to steady his breathing. _'Then how do I explain this?'_ he asked himself, and shook his head, punching his knee as hard as he could. He hoped Eric understood that Hyde just wanted to be alone, for this reason. That he didn't want him out of his life, that he was just... trying to save himself though he was failing miserably. But, he didn't have to hope. While he composed himself, he was completely oblivious to the fact that Eric hadn't sped off in anger. He wasn't aware that he hadn't heard the Vista Cruiser's car door slam, or the pounding of angry feet on the rotted front porch. If he looked up at all he'd see Eric standing on said front porch, looking sick and terrified. Just like Hyde.

* * *

Hyde's hand reached for the shower faucet and cranked it toward the left angrily and stepped out of the cold shower. He had figured taking a shower would help him calm down or forget that he was hungry, and it had helped. Until he turned the shower head so the cold water wouldn't spray on the floor. The shower head then groaned, fell off, hit him in the eye and he was instantly doused with a furious stream of freezing cold water.

Shivering violently he stepped out of the tub and onto the damp linoleum floor and hung his head.

_'So much for that,'_ he thought angrily, grabbing an already used towel from the towel bar. Thankfully the shower head didn't weigh that much so he wouldn't have a black eye; it more or less alerted him of the high pressure stream of water pouring heavily out of the pipes.

Hyde stepped into his jeans and felt the denim cling to his still slightly wet skin. He ignored the slightly uncomfortable tug of clothing on his flesh and buttoned and zipped them. By the time he buckled his belt, he heard a soft pounding on the door and he sighed heavily. If it was the landlord again, he was going to be taken from the home in handcuffs and have an arrest for assault.

Quickly wriggling into his cotton blue long sleeved shirt he hurried to button the long row of buttons and ran out the door, leaving his sunglasses on the sink. His stomach squirmed when seeing the smiling face of Mrs. Forman and the disgruntled grimace of Red.

Slowly he opened the door and attempted to smile, yet they didn't buy it.

"Steven, we haven't seen you for a couple of days, how are you?" Kitty asked him, Hyde sighed softly and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'm fine, Mrs. Forman." Hyde replied, and felt his embarrassment heat his face as the two parents he looked up to walked into his broken home.

"Well that's good, that's good, so how-"

"Kitty," Red hushed his wife, who shrank behind him. "Steven, we were told that... your mother left and Kitty wanted to see how you were doing." Hyde sighed and bit his lip, unsure of what to say.

"Well, uh... my mom is just delayed-" Red turned to Kitty who glared at him. Sighing the man turned back to Hyde and took a deep breath.

"Since she is delayed, as you say... do you have everything you need?"

"Like food, clean water, clean clothes, someone to... let me go see what you have in the kitchen," Kitty choked and quickly shuffled away from the two men. They glanced at each other and when Hyde nodded toward the arm chair, Red quickly sat down. Hyde hopped on the couch and sighed softly.

The two were silent as they sat in his living room. He wasn't sure what Red was thinking, but he was sure he probably didn't want to know. In his head he was probably scolding Hyde for living in such a trashed home and not keeping it up but he could be wrong. Hyde folded his hands on his lap and bounced his knee nervously.

"You, um, you need a coffee table," Red finally spoke, staring at the two chairs that had been tipped to hold the television. Hyde raised his eyebrows and smirked at Red.

"Yeah, that'd really pull the room together," Hyde grumbled sarcastically, which caused Red to chuckle. The sound of Mrs. Forman's heels was heard on the kitchen floor and she stood in the kitchen doorway, gloves in one hand.

"Steven, I-I was gonna, I was gonna clean your kitchen for you, but, um, frankly, I'm afraid!"

"Well, look like he's got everything under control. Kitty, I'll be in the car!" Red cried in a hurry and stood up to dash quickly to the car.

"Red," Kitty growled lowly; her husband stopped in place and slowly turned around once more. Hyde had a strong feeling he didn't want to be here, which was understandable. "Steven, why don't you go to your room and gather some clothes and I'll do a load of wash for you at our house." Hyde could do that...

"Cool," he murmured and hopped off of his couch, and into his room.

Hyde quickly tossed in the most necessary clothes of his, which since he didn't own many... was all of his clothes. He could hear the couple talking outside and he leaned against the wall. Probably about him. Eric probably told them what he had said and they were going to talk to him, or yell at him about it. He didn't want to be yelled at and if that was the reason they were doing this then he'd be find on his own.

"-God dammit! I am tired of being fucking Santa Claus!" Hyde's eyes widened as he heard Red curse loudly in his house. The only thing he had really ever heard the man say was "ass," "damn," or "hell." He wasn't expecting obscenities like that to come from Red Forman.

Hyde zipped the bag quickly and hurried to the living room to not anger him anymore than he was. "Steven! You get your shit together, and you get your ass in that God damn car! We're going fucking now God dammit! Move it!" Hyde gulped and stared at Red with his jaw dropped in awe.

"O-okay," he murmured and quickly zipped out of the house, in hopes to avoid Red's wrath anymore. Hyde opened the door to the Toyota and set the bag next to him. He decided to buckle his seat belt so Red wouldn't be any more angry and he sighed. His head was swimming as he tried to figure out what was going on. Yet when Kitty quickly ran out to the car as well with a grin on her face, Hyde had a feeling he knew what had just happened.

"Steven..." Kitty murmured softly, as she turned around to face him. "Honey, Eric told us that you told him that your mother... abandoned you." Hyde nodded slowly, not making eye contact with her. "How would you like to live with us?"

"Live?" He asked, his heart beating rapidly. After all he said to Eric they wanted him to live with them? "Mrs. Forman-"

"Sweetie, where else could you go?" Hyde's face fell and she sighed.

"I don't want to be a bother, I know-"

"Steven, you? A bother? We'd be delighted to have you live with us!" Kitty chirped as she smiled happily at him. He felt the corners of his mouth lift and he sighed. He'd have a lot to talk about with Eric then... _'damn,'_ he thought at that.

"Okay, Steven. I have agreed to let you live in my house," Red barked as he slammed the door shut. "And since I'm allowing you to live under my roof, you're going to have rules, and responsibilities."

"Okay," Hyde murmured, digging his nails into the skin around his fingers.

"First, you have the same curfew as Eric; you will be expected at home by 11:00 every night, no ifs ands or buts. If you ask for a later curfew for a night, it will depend on your behavior. School is your biggest responsibility, you're going to have to try your damn hardest. Everyday you will have chores to complete, and I will expect them done by the time I am home or you will be grounded. You will get up by the latest of 9 in the morning on weekends and 6 on weekdays; you'll have to fit sleep into that schedule somewhere. If you break any of the rules, I will shove my foot in your ass so deep that I'll break you neck, you got it?"

"Yes, Mr. Forman," Hyde mumbled. He knew the "ass" threatening was just innocent, but it was to prove a point. Hyde glanced out the window and watched as they gradually drove from the "poor" end of Point Place to the middle class area. As Red drove, Hyde sank back comfortably in the plush seat and thought about the last rule. It was impossible for him to get up by six in the morning on a weekday; that's usually when he fell asleep. That made him wonder what time Eric went to bed.

He didn't want to be forced to do schoolwork, but if he was living at the Forman's then he'd have to make an effort to show that he's worthy of living there. Hyde couldn't believe it... he was living with the Forman's.

"Steven?" Kitty asked timidly a few minutes later as they drove down Maryville Avenue. Hyde turned his attention to the woman and she sighed softly. "When we get home, we would like to talk to you about... what's going on."

Hyde remained silent after Kitty informed him of this. He began to tap his foot to try to calm down but... he couldn't. What did they want him to talk about? He wasn't going to spill his feelings about his dear old mommy leaving him. He had been upset, but now he knew that he was going to be okay. He was living with the Forman's and he was safe. He was... happy. What did they need or want to know?

As they neared their house, Hyde's nerves grew stronger and stronger. He didn't want to talk, didn't need to talk. Would they be mad? There was nothing to talk about, he could put everything behind him and actually be happy. He wouldn't have to worry about if he was going to find his mom dead, he just had to worry about being at the Forman's house by 11:00.

But maybe they didn't see it that way. Maybe they felt that they needed to know what had happened to him... but why? They could just ask Eric. Edna had left him because she met a trucker, and that was it. There was nothing else to it. Other than the fight, at least. So what was there to talk about?

As Red parked the car in the garage, Hyde's mind jolted awake. He felt a chill run through his body and his eyes widened in fear. He realized they didn't want to talk about only Edna's absence... but Edna's everything. His hand quivered slightly as he unbuckled the seat belt and slowly opened the door. Fumbling to grab his bag, Hyde hesitantly crawled out of the car and smiled feebly at Mrs. Forman who grinned at him.

He followed the married couple to the sliding glass doors, yet as they neared the house he froze once more. Gathered in the kitchen were his friends as they tried to figure out what to eat for lunch. He didn't want to face them, especially Eric, right now!

_'God, I can't do this...' _Hyde thought weakly as he tightened his grip on his bag full of clothes. Yet his feet continued towards the house and no matter how hard he tried he couldn't stop himself. As he walked through the doors he felt ten pairs of eyes staring curiously at him. He averted his gaze straight forward so he didn't see any of his friends.

"Hyde! Where have you been, man?" Kelso cried happily.

"What's that?" He heard Fez ask him.

But he ignored his friends and stood next to Mrs. Forman. Right now he was thankful he was going to have a talk with them. So he wouldn't have to be anywhere near his friends.

"Steven, go upstairs," Kitty murmured to him, he turned and zipped into the living room without a second thought. As he began to step up the stairs he heard her say to them, "please stay on the bottom two floors" a pause and then "don't ask any questions, you'll find out eventually."

Hyde sighed and climbed up the carpeted stairs, feeling like he was entering doomsday. He didn't understand why they were going to talk to him about all of this now especially when it didn't matter. They knew what he went through as a child; you could see it in the pictures of the gang in their younger years that Mrs. Forman had in each of the rooms. But he couldn't argue, especially if his stay here depended on this.

Hyde opened the door to the Forman's bedroom after knocking on it. He dragged himself into the warm room that had a permanent scent of cinnamon apple candles. He closed his eyes and held his breath to try and slow his heart down, yet even after trying that the rapid beating pounded furiously.

"Steven are you in here?" Kitty asked as she hurried down the hallway.

"Yes, Mrs. Forman," he mumbled, and was greeted by the sight of both Mr. and Mrs. Forman in the doorway.

"Sit down, Steven." Red ordered him bluntly, Hyde glanced around for a chair, yet when Kitty sat at the head of the bed, Hyde sat on the foot and stared at the maroon bedspread. He traced the patterns in the comforter to try and calm his secret nerves, but Mrs. Forman's voice broke his concentration.

"Steven, can you tell us why your mother left?" She asked him, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and played with the bottom of his jeans. After almost thirty seconds of silence, Kitty pressed him. "Steven, please talk?"

"I dunno," he mumbled softly, eyes focused on his jeans. He felt himself almost revert to a younger him; sitting on this very same bed, talking to Kitty about his home life. "She met some trucker and ran off with him, I dunno." He heard both of the adults sigh in frustration and he grimaced. He didn't want to be a bother and he especially didn't want to make them angry. He just didn't want to talk. "Mrs. Forman, Mr. Forman, I'm fine, I promise."

"You may be fine now but you weren't in the past."

"That's because that was the past," he argued against Mrs. Forman. She turned to her husband in hopes that he would help. Finally he walked up to Steven and stared at him darkly.

"Steven, we're trying to help you. Now you either cooperate with us, or you talk to a therapist." Hyde gulped at the threat; they had heard all about his stay at juvie- the horrible time he had with his therapist, and they knew that would get him to talk. Blackmail. _'Good tactic,'_ Hyde thought as he sighed heavily.

"Okay, I'll talk." Kitty smiled happily at the teenage boy and thanked him for that.

"What did your mother say when she left?" Kitty asked, Hyde's face fell as he remembered that night. What was he supposed to say? That they screamed at each other about how he wasn't wanted, even by his grandparents and then he was accused of hitting her so he got in a fight? Hyde's stomach squirmed when his conscience told him that's exactly what they wanted to hear.

"She said that she met this guy and that they were leaving. Then when I asked her why and she said because she... couldn't take living with the cause of her horrible life and that she wished she had gotten an abortion like her parents had told her to do. Then she said she didn't have a son." Hyde answered speaking rapidly in hopes that they wouldn't hear. Yet Kitty heard every word and he watched her smile fade to shock. But how could they expect any less?

"Were there any hints that could have predicted her leaving?" Hyde shook his head.

"No, one day she was sleeping, the next packing," Kitty nodded slowly and glanced towards Red.

"Were the bruises and the fat lip from Edna?" She asked him, Hyde shook his head and thought about leaving the room. But... he was safe with the Forman's. He just didn't know why it was so hard to talk to them now.

"Her boyfriend," Hyde murmured quietly as his finger grazed the soft blanket. "He thought I hit her because she was crying on the floor and so he started beating me, and-"

"Did you hit her?" Red asked darkly, Hyde's eyes widened.

"No!" Hyde cried in slight anger, "I never did, I'm not like my dad." Hyde growled. As Mrs. Forman snapped her head up, his eyes widened as he realized what he said.

"Steven..." Red began, which surprised Hyde, "since Bud left, have you seen him?" Hyde shook his head. He was glad of that... if he did see him, he wasn't sure what would happen. "Okay."

What Hyde realized that once he mentioned Bud, this opened a whole new door for Mrs. Forman's questions. Although Bud was way old news, she was still curious and concerned about what happened when he was younger, Hyde knew that. That was just a subject he never talked about.

"Can we ask you a few questions about Bud?" Kitty asked quietly, Hyde sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"It was a long time ago, it doesn't matter any-"

"It does matter, Steven, and it may have been a long time ago, but it still affects you today, doesn't it?" She asked, Hyde remained silent as he ran his finger along his jeans instead of the bed.

"Was he the one who hit you when you were younger?" Hyde stared at Kitty incredulously and blinked.

"Mrs. Forman, you know this-"

"It's not certain," she countered, Hyde groaned lowly and nodded.

"Yes, he was the one who hit me when I was younger. And since I know it's your next question he didn't just hit me: he kicked me, threw me down stairs, burned my skin then cut it, or vice versa, he did just about anything you can imagine, can we please not-"

"Steven, you have to..." Hyde sighed and began tracing his arm subconsciously.

"It was normal for me, I mean it's not normal, but for me I thought that's how all families were. I thought it was normal for a dad to break a beer bottle on his son's stomach. I thought it was normal for a dad to..." Hyde trailed off, not wanting to discuss Bud any longer. "And then when he left mom told me the needles were for a disease but I knew she was healthy, well, she wasn't but, she wasn't sick. She became sick, though. And for a time she dated guys that were worse than Bud, but eventually she just gave up on everything... her life, became drugs and I was her parent. I took care of her when she passed out and I took the blame for what she did but Mrs. Forman you know all this. " She smiled weakly at Hyde.

"But it feels better to let it out," She whimpered, he didn't know what to say. Had all of this been for him to try to open up and vent and let out his "bottled feelings" all of his friends talked about. He waited to feel the familiar drop of his heart, yet it wasn't there. Hyde sighed and gave a very small nod. He would never admit it, but... he felt better.

"Mr. and Mrs. Forman, thanks for... letting me stay here." Hyde murmured, "it... means a lot." he glanced up at Red who smiled at him.

"Steven, we would have taken you in when you were younger, if it weren't for your mother." Kitty told him, his stomach squirmed at that. "I'm just so happy that we could take you in now, and if you ever need to talk, I'm here, honey." Hyde smiled at her and was embraced in a loving hug. He sighed and hesitantly wrapped his arms around the petite woman. "I'm sure you're hungry, though, so I'll go make supper!" Hyde grinned bashfully as his stomach growled to prove her point. After she bound out of the room, Hyde stood up and glanced at Red, who was staring off into space.

"Red?" Hyde finally asked, the man turned to him and sighed.

"Welcome to the family, Steven," he murmured, patting his shoulder before exiting the room.

* * *

That evening, Hyde sat in Eric's room on Red's old military cot. Mrs. Forman had made sure it was comfortable enough for him. (with three pillows, four blankets and a comforter underneath him.) He and Eric hadn't spoken much, barely a word was said after they sat in the basement. Hyde hadn't been able to apologize, but when Eric returned from his date with Donna he was going to man up and say he was sorry.

But for now, Hyde sat playing guitar quietly on his bed. He had made Kelso drive him back to his house that night, and they had grabbed his wooden box his grandpa made him and his guitar. Kelso had said it was stupid to go back for those things, and Hyde frogged him. But he had tried talking serious with Hyde. When Kelso said he was sorry that his mom was such a flake, Hyde shrugged and told Kelso he was talking like a chick again. They ended up going to Fatso Burger for fries and a shake for Fez who they were going to go visit. But the fact that even Kelso felt something about the whole situation really shocked Hyde. It made him realize his friends really did care. It made him realize how lucky he was to have Kelso, Fez, and Donna, but most of all, Eric.

As Hyde played the bridge to "Breathe" by Pink Floyd on his acoustic guitar, he heard the door open. Hyde glanced up and gave a short nod to Eric as he continued to play.

"So you got your guitar?" Eric asked as he sat on his Spiderman covered bed. Hyde nodded and set it down at the foot of his actually comfortable bed. "Cool, Pink Floyd?" He asked once more, Hyde nodded again.

"Forman, about what I said earlier-"

"Hey, man, it's cool," Eric said, Hyde tilted his head in curiosity. He'd usually be freaking out or yelling or giving him the cold shoulder... did he get a different type of circle stuff he didn't know about?

"No, it's not... this is taking a lot but, fuck I was a jerk." Eric scoffed and smirked at Hyde as he laid down at the foot of the bed so he could talk to his friend.

"So what? You were clearly upset, brothers are jerks to each other all the time." Hyde stiffened as he heard Eric speak.

"Brothers?" Hyde asked, Eric shrugged.

"You're sorta like my brother now, I mean you're living in my house and we're jerks to each other but still we're best friends, like brothers." Hyde smirked at his friend and shook his head.

"Man, you're a dweeb," Hyde joked, picking up the wooden box and setting it under the cot. Eric tilted his head curiously.

"What's in that box?" Hyde shook his head as he glanced back up at Eric.

"Nothin' really," He answered Eric's question, "just stuff my grandparents gave me,"

"Whoa, really?" Eric cried, Hyde nodded and shrugged, taking off his necklace and grabbed the brass handle of the box. Hesitantly, he handed it to Eric, who grinned. But when he looked at Hyde, his smile fell. "No Hyde, it's cool, I get that-"

"It's nothing that special, so you can look, I guess," Hyde grumbled, acting like it was no big deal. But he still felt like shit for what he said to Eric earlier, and then he goes around and calls him his brother. Being at the Forman's house made him soft, made him feel bad.

He heard Eric rustle through the papers and the expensive gifts his grandparents had given him. Hyde glanced up and saw him reading one of the notes with wide eyes.

"Hyde did you know you're like, rich?" Eric finally asked him, folding the letter back in the envelope. Hyde scoffed and shook his head.

"I've got $1500, real rich," Hyde mumbled sarcastically, shrugging his shoulders.

"Your grandparents seem really sweet... no offense but what happened to your mom?" Hyde chuckled and shook his head at Eric who was also laughing.

"Honestly?" Hyde finally asked, Eric's laughter silenced and he shrugged his shoulders. "When she left, she told me she never wanted me, like I was the worst mistake of her life and I ruined it-"

"Hyde that's-"

"Shut it, Forman, I'm talking," Hyde growled with a smile on his face. "She told me that a lot, so I was just like 'ehh' but then... you saw those letters my grandparents wrote?" Hyde asked, Eric nodded, staying silent as he knew how rare of a moment this was for Hyde to talk like this. "My grandparents were... awesome. I was going to go live with them after Chris died but, they died too. I went to their house one night when I was twelve and I took this from their house. So they gave me all this stuff and said all that, but when my mom left she said _'I should have gotten an abortion like my parents told me to!_'" Hyde screamed, raising the pitch of his voice to pretend he was Edna. After Hyde finished talking, Eric just gaped in awe, unsure of what to say.

"Hyde... your mom probably just told you that, it really seemed like your grandparents cared about you." Hyde shrugged his shoulders, "and me to, since your grandma added that sweet little paragraph about how nice the Forman's are." Hyde rolled his eyes and grinned at Eric. "I always wondered what was in the box, though."

Hyde sighed and nodded, and leaned back on his bed. Eric dropped the wooden box on his stomach and he grunted in surprise. "Hydey's tired!" Eric teased, Hyde flipped him off and laughed softly.

"I have a confession to make," Eric nearly whispered. Hyde opened his eyes to acknowledge he heard him. "I knew that you were just saying that stuff earlier, I knew you didn't mean it." Eric said, Hyde turned to him curiously.

"How?"

"I didn't leave right away." Hyde stopped tapping his foot and slowly averted his dark glare to Eric who looked nervous.

"How long were you there?" Hyde grunted, expecting an answer of 'just a couple minutes.' He had sworn he had heard Eric leave right away after their argument gone sour.

"Awhile?" Eric squeaked, scooting more towards the head of the bed. Hyde sighed heavily and sat up.

"So, you saw my freak out then?" Eric slowly nodded, and winced as he waited for the punch on his arm. Yet Hyde just sat cross legged on his cot, staring at his bare feet.

"I didn't mean to I was going to leave I was-"

"It's cool," Hyde mumbled, laying back down, which shocked Eric even more. The seventeen year old poked his head over the edge of the bed once more and stared at Hyde with a twitching eye.

"Okay, who are you and what did you do with Hyde?" He asked, Hyde just blinked as he stared at the ceiling with his hands resting on his stomach. He never noticed Eric had glow in the dark stick on stars on his ceiling. He didn't even know that they made those.

"Get bent," Hyde growled, then closed his eyes and turned on his side. Eric sighed and took that as a 'leave me alone' gesture. Hyde listened to him jump on his bed to lay on it properly.

Eric hadn't spoken a word which had left Hyde to begin to sink into the half state of sleep and consciousness. It felt as if he were spinning, slowly, towards sleep. His mind felt at ease for the first time in a long time, and he couldn't help but smile.

"You said we were brothers," Hyde murmured groggily in a half-asleep state. From his perch on his bed, Eric tilted his head curiously and waited for his friend to continue speaking.

"Yeah?" Eric asked; he was shocked that he was the one who was fully awake. Usually it was Hyde who fell asleep last and woke up first.

"That's why I wouldn't shut up," Hyde slurred, then began to lightly snore. Eric stood up quietly off of his bed and tip toed to his dresser to change into his pajamas. Plus he needed to turn off the light. He was surprised that Hyde was asleep so early (for him at least.) His clock had just switched from 12:19 to 12:20 and by that point Hyde was smoking in the basement.

After Eric turned off the light, he glanced down to make sure that Hyde was actually sleeping instead of playing a prank; which he had done in the past. He waved a hand over his eyes and lightly kicked the cot.

"Huh," he mumbled, in shock. Hyde curled his legs closer to him and opened his eyes, which Eric hadn't noticed.

"Forman, go to bed." He hissed with a voice heavy with sleepiness. Eric jumped and kicked Hyde's cot one more time, which resulted in a frogged leg. When he heard Eric lay back down, he breathed deeply and closed his eyes once more. "Night," Hyde yawned.

"Goodnight, Hyde," Eric replied, then quickly drifted off to sleep. Hyde felt sleep begin to tug at his conscience once more and he slowly gave in, with a smile on his face.

* * *

_**Author's Note: So...? How did I do? Not sure on the ending, but the reason why he talked so much toward the end was because he was tired, he felt bad, but he also felt safe. I thought it was a good brother add in, too. There was a lot more dialogue than I wished but that's what happens when I do episodes from the show *shrug* I think it all worked out okay though. **_

**_Let me know what you think,_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie  
_**


	51. Through Glass

_**Author's Note: Hello all! I just couldn't help but update as soon as possible. This chapter marks Hyde's near permanent stay with the Formans and from here on out chapters will be lighter. This chapter will hopefully make you laugh and smile- or at least I hope you enjoy it :).**_  
**_Special thanks go out to my awesome reviewers who mean so much to me. You all know who you are. And this chapter is dedicated to nannygirl who is an awesome author and reviewer and also helps encourage me whenever I'm stuck :D. This is the biggest way I could say thank you :).  
Thank you, all of you for either reading or reviewing. Check out my profile to vote for the next one-shot I write, check out my blog on the fanficboard, and look out for an update on Face rather soon :)._**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie.  
_**

* * *

_I'm looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed. Oh god it feels like forever but no one ever tells you that forever feels like home sitting all alone inside your head. How do you feel? That is the question. But I forget; you dont expect an easy answer. When something like a soul becomes initialized and folded up like paper dolls and little notes, You can't expect a bit of hope. And while your outside looking in describing what you see; remember what your staring at is me. Cause I'm looking at you through the glass, don't know how much time has passed. All I know is that it feels like forever when no one ever tells you that forever feels like home, sitting all alone inside your head. How much is real? So much to question. An epidemic of the mannequins contaminating everything when thought came from the heart. It never did right from the start; just listen to the noises: No more sad voices. Before you tell yourself "it's just a different scene" remember it's just different from what you've seen..._

The permeating smell of homemade food filled every room in the Forman house. Slowly the thought of breakfast lured Hyde to a near consciousness. A sharp headache pounded against his skull and he burrowed his head deeper into the thin pillow. He could see the light pour in from the window even through his closed eye lids. Groaning in pain, Hyde pulled the pillow over his head and rested his head against the comforter under him.

A soft poke on his shoulder caused his eyes to open yet he stayed under the pillow; he wanted at least five more hours of sleep.

"Hyde," He heard a muffled whisper and he shook his head. At that he felt a punch against his arm and he threw the pillow across the room. A loud thud and plastic crash was heard. Glaring up from the cot he stared at Eric who was sitting on the foot of his bed with an amused grin on his face. "Good morning sleepyhead!" He sang which caused a throb of pain to cross through his head.

"Get bent," Hyde grumbled as he laid back down on his bed.

"Breakfast is ready," Eric added, wearing a smug smirk as his plan to annoy Hyde worked.

"Not hungry."

"Thirsty?" Hyde shook his head and folded his arms under his head to use as a pillow. No he definitely was not thirsty. In fact if he drank anything he'd probably piss his pants. When realized he wasn't going to get anymore sleep, Hyde stood up and twisted his neck from side to side. Eric cringed in disgust and stared at his roommate.

"What the hell, man?" He exclaimed with a look of strong distaste. Hyde shrugged and began to walk towards the doorway. "Where are you going?" As he turned Hyde eyed his friend with pure annoyance evident in his expression.

"If you must know I haven't peed since last night-"

"Yeah? Well... I need to shower!" Eric countered, wearing a mischievous grin. The two boys glared darkly at each other and waited for the other to bolt out of the bedroom.

_'Screw this I really have to pee,' _Hyde thought and ran out the door. He felt a pair of hands tug him backwards and attempt to push him to the ground. Hyde chuckled and kicked his foot back, which tripped Eric and brought them both tumbling down in a wrestling heap.

"Forman, let go!" Hyde growled through his laughter, trying to get Eric to unpin his legs. Hyde lunged forward and wrapped his arm around Eric's neck to put him in a choke-hold.

As they play fought against each other and inched closer and closer to the bathroom, Hyde found it difficult to "attack" his friend since he was much weaker. But Eric's flinging and clinging actually proved to be an effective defense mechanism.

When Hyde outstretched his hand to make it known that he was the first to arrive at the bathroom, a foot stomped centimeters from his fingers. He curled his knuckles back and the two teens glanced up and blinked nervously when meeting Red's criticizing glare.

"Dumbasses!" he barked and then slammed the door in their faces. Hyde slowly turned to Eric who's mouth was parted in shock. As they untangled from their "deathly grips" Eric sighed sadly. Hyde turned to him in curiosity and waited for him to talk.

"See... we were fighting for the bathroom but then... Red took it..." Hyde nodded slowly and shrugged his shoulders.

"Not much we can do about it, when Red's gotta go, Red's gotta go." Hyde replied smirking when he saw Eric's face scrunch in disgust. He was getting revenge.

"Awh Hyde c'mon that's sick!" the sixteen year old shook his head and headed toward the stairs.

"I didn't say _anything_," he mumbled and raced down the stairs with loud thumps announcing that he was awake.

Hyde yawned and walked through the Forman's tidy living room. As he glanced around he could already feel an improvement in his character- he wasn't stressed at all. The only thing he had to worry about right now was how long it would take before his bladder would explode.

"Good morning, Steven!" Kitty chirped as he walked through the doorway. He smiled and gave her a nod before sitting down at the kitchen table. He glanced over to Laurie and eyed her darkly. Eric's older sister wore a sneer as she cast a venomous glare towards the new member of the household.

"Mom, Daddy said no more strays after you brought home that disgusting cat." Hyde rolled his eyes and bounced his knee subconsciously while waiting for Mrs. Forman to reply.

"Laurie, be nice. Your father only said that because it had rabies-"

"Oh Laurie, that must have been where you got your first disease; at least that one's curable." Laurie wrinkled her nose and scoffed at Hyde.

"That cat probably got rabies from your house-"

"Laurie!" Kitty snapped loudly, eyes boring down like a hawk at her daughter. Then she turned to Hyde and smiled sweetly at him; he grinned toothily and shrugged his shoulders. "That's enough of that! Now, Steven what would you like to drink?" As her mother spoke, Laurie's face fell as she realized that she was no longer the number one priority of the house. And Hyde didn't help but smiling smugly at her.

"Can I have some coffee?" He asked, Kitty laughed and sighed.

"You're too young to be drinking coffee, Steven..." she trailed off, "but fine." Hyde smiled softly at her knowing full well that his innocent act was working well to gain the Forman's trust.

He heard the coffee pot gurgle and Kitty turned and quickly poured him a steaming mug full of the black coffee.

"Do you want cream or sugar?" Kitty asked, holding up the two items. Hyde shook his head slowly.

"No thanks, Mrs. Forman, I like black coffee," Hyde replied softly and then took the hot coffee cup from her. She quickly shuffled back to the stove and slid three pancakes on a plate. Hyde's stomach rumbled softly and Laurie raised her eyebrows at him.

"Don't judge, I'm a growing boy." He feigned defense. The nineteen year old chuckled and rolled her eyes before taking a sip from her glass of water. Kitty walked over with two plates in hand and nodded at his statement.  
"Yes you are, which is why I gave you four pancakes!" Hyde's jaw dropped as she placed the large plate full of chocolate chip pancakes in front of him. They were drizzled with maple syrup and were still steaming. Hyde glanced up at the woman and smiled weakly at her.

"You didn't have to," he mumbled, she laughed and wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. He sighed softly and rested his head on her shoulder.

"Of course I did! Don't worry about a thing, sweetie," Kitty murmured then kissed his temple. Hyde scrunched his face and looked up at his mother figure once more. He could hear Laurie quietly chortling yet he chose to ignore it.

"Thank you Mrs. Forman," he murmured, smiling genuinely at her. She shook her head and quickly skipped back to bring the last three plates to the table. Hyde sat quietly at the table and began to flip his fork in between his fingers as he waited for Eric and Red, whatever they were doing. Yet as time went on, he noticed Laurie had nearly finished her breakfast. He grimaced and glanced down at the gourmet breakfast that Kitty had made him and he felt his frown deepen.

He didn't want them to wait over his every need. He didn't want that; he just wanted a home... with the Forman's. Hyde didn't want Mrs. Forman to go out of her way to make sure she spoiled him. In fact, he would have been happy with a frozen waffle and it wouldn't have put her through all the trouble of having to cook. But... she did it everyday for her family. And while he was feeling guilty for her making a really nice breakfast for him that he didn't feel he deserved, her family didn't even care. They got this every day and he never even heard them say a "thank you."

Finally Eric ran into the room and plopped down in the chair next to Hyde. He grinned and shook his shaggy hair; the water sprayed every which way and landed mostly on Hyde.

"I got the bathroom first!" He sang tauntingly, Hyde rolled his eyes and stared down at the table once again. His carefree mood had diminished when Mrs. Forman brought him the breakfast he hadn't touched. Yet as soon as Eric sat down and rubbed it in Hyde's face that he used the bathroom first, he began to wolf down the same breakfast that Hyde had.

"Steven, is there something wrong with your food?" Kitty asked, she herself had even nibbled on the edges of her pancakes while waiting for her husband and son. Hyde shook his head and smiled softly at her before picking up his fork and slowly cutting off a piece for him to eat.

Soon Red joined them at the breakfast table and Hyde listened to the family of four talk about chores, Laurie borrowing ten dollars, Kitty working late tomorrow, and Eric and Hyde's first week of school starting in two days. Hyde tried to stay out of conversation as he gradually made a dent in the food he had been given. This was their family bonding time, and he didn't want to ruin it. He probably annoyed two of the four enough by living here.

"So, daddy, can I have that twenty dollars?" Laurie asked once more. Hyde scowled and took a gulp from his coffee and heard Red sigh in aggravation.

"Twenty? I thought you asked for ten!" The middle aged man barked, Laurie batted her eyelashes and Hyde felt slightly sick at watching the woman get what she wanted.

_'Why didn't she actually work for that money?'_ Hyde thought, staring blankly at his nearly empty plate. _'The Forman's don't have the money to waste on giving her money to blow on... blows.'_ He just stared at Red waiting for his answer.

"No," the man finally spoke, Hyde grinned. "Laurie, you have to work for it," he added then turned to face Eric and Hyde. "You two," he addressed them, "I'll give you each ten dollars _if _and _only if_ you do your chores today. And it _only _goes for school supplies for next week." Hyde sighed softly and nudged his plate away from him. Why did it seem like he was the only one who was worried about the Forman's money situation? He knew Red and Kitty were worried but Eric and Laurie just didn't seem to care... they just went along with it and asked for stuff.

"Okay!" Eric chirped happily, taking a large bite of his pancakes. "So what're we doing today, Hyde?" Eric asked chipperly. Hyde shrugged his shoulders yet caught his friend's gaze before nodding toward the basement.

"Just... hanging with the guys, I guess..." Hyde trailed off nonchalantly. Yet Kitty made a sound of disagreement.

"Actually, we're going to church. But after church you can hang out; Eric and Laurie you are not staying home again," Kitty reminded her children. Hyde's face fell as she turned to him- she wasn't expecting him to go to church with them, was she? That hadn't been part of the rules and he hadn't been to a church since... Chris's funeral. "Steven, do you want to go with us?" Eric snorted as he laughed sarcastically while Laurie narrowed her eyes.

"Mom, you said family has to go to church every Sunday. So why does Hyde-" She paused, grinning evilly at him. "Oh, Hyde doesn't have to go because he doesn't have a family!" Laurie snapped with a devilish grin. While Eric and Kitty's jaws dropped in horror, Hyde just shrugged. She could insult him all she wanted because she and him used these petty arguments as a way of communication. They had for years and soon their insults grew into almost a foreign language that only they understood. What she said sounded cruel, but he heard "Why do you have a choice if I don't? You live here too."

"Laurie," Hyde started on her with a voice full of sarcasm, "haven't you learned? Skipping out on church is like skipping out on your family and that's worse than not having one." Hyde mocked sentimentality and she folded her arms across her chest in anger. She rolled her eyes and groaned softly in annoyance at him. Through his mocking comeback Eric, Kitty and Red had tensed as they were unsure what to say or do. But Laurie heard his reply like an older brother warning her, "Because you are part of your family and I'm not; so don't argue and just do it."

"Steven, would you like to go with-" Kitty began to ask him once more since her question had remained unanswered.

"Mom," Eric began through his laugh, "he doesn't have the heart to tell you." He finished as he tried to silence his chortles. Hyde scowled as he felt the two adults turn to him and Eric curiously.

"Tell me what?" Kitty asked, Hyde bit his lip and began to bounce his knee nervously and while staring deeply into his nearly empty coffee cup.

"That he's a satanist!" Laurie chirped, Hyde's eyes nearly bugged out of his sockets and he could feel Red's cold wrath upon him.

"Laurie, that would mean I would be worshiping you," Hyde grumbled darkly, and this time there was no odd Laurie and Hyde deep communication. Now she was trying to make Red hate him and by the look on her father's face the tally was: Laurie- 1 Hyde-0.

As Hyde saw Kitty's worried eyes fall upon him he sighed softly and shook his head.

"Mrs. Forman I'm not a satanist," Hyde tried to reassure her. She laughed nervously and turned to Eric urging him to continue. Hyde knew what Eric was about to say was just a tiny bit better than "satanist."

"Mom, he's trying not to hurt your feelings but he's atheist," Hyde's shoulders slumped and he turned to Eric incredulously. He hadn't expected that either. How many times had he given him the religion rant that surprisingly didn't anger any of his friends? They couldn't just shove his opinions on religion as "Hyde doesn't believe in God at all."

"Forman I'm not an atheist!" Hyde growled as he was now getting slightly frustrated with the two siblings. Eric shrugged his shoulders and tilted his head which only caused Hyde to scoff. He turned to face the even more worried looking Kitty and a confused Red.

"Well what are you?" Red finally barked trying to get a straight answer to combat the assumptions his children placed on Hyde. Hyde sighed and shrugged his shoulders; he was in too good of a mood to go into his thoughts on religion. He also didn't want to upset Kitty.

"I just don't think I should practice a religion that criticizes others for their beliefs. I don't think that's what any higher power would want of their followers." Hyde tried taming down his views so that neither Mr. Forman would get mad at his rant on _"religion caused all the wars that we fought so why would should we follow an unnecessary means to nothing but violence?"_ and he didn't want to make Kitty cry with his, _"Religion is pointless; it's just brainwashing everyone to believe in a superhero of sorts. But where's the proof? We're basing everything on a freakin' book written over 2000 years ago? I'm not saying I believe until I see proof." _

"Well, see that's not atheist or satanic!" Kitty chirped, smiling happily at Hyde who still felt tense from the conversation he was forced to have. Red grunted and turned the page of his newspaper. Hyde relaxed a little and scooted back from the table. "Eric, Laurie- get ready for church then and Steven-"

"We're trusting you with this house. If I come home and see anything isn't the way we left it I will kick your ass so hard you'll end up flying to confession." Red growled as he stared hard at Hyde. The teen nodded and watched as the family, except Kitty, quickly exited the kitchen and up the stairs. Hyde stood up and watched as Kitty began to pile the dirty plates on top of each other and he sighed.

"Mrs. Forman," Hyde started, standing next to her. She glanced up at him and smiled as she practically skipped to the sink where she began to run hot sudsy dishwater. "Why don't you get ready for church?" He asked, Kitty shook her head as she organized the eating utensils in a glass and the plates and bowls into another stack.

"Steven I do this every morning before church and I'm always the first one ready!" She chirped and Hyde chuckled softly. He knew why she was always the first one eagerly waiting for the rest of her family- the others didn't want to go so they stalled as long as possible. They didn't even help her with cleaning up the breakfast she made.

"Well, since I'm not going I can do the dishes and you can just go get ready." Kitty beamed at him and squeezed him in a tight hug, he couldn't help but hug her back. As she kissed his cheek Hyde jokingly scrunched his face and let go of the woman he would be so happy to call "mom."

"Steven, you're such a joy... thank you sweetie," she chirped, Hyde just shrugged his shoulders and watched as she flew out of the kitchen.

Hyde sighed softly and walked up to the sink. He felt that since he wasn't going to church and after what Laurie and Eric had said he felt that he owed it to the Formans to help around the house. Besides, it was only a few dishes and a couple of extra pancakes he'd put away.

He could hear faint conversations from upstairs and he sighed heavily. As Hyde thought about it, he realized he wasn't just staying at the Forman's house for a couple of days. This house that he had been to for twelve years or more that he had wished was the place he could fall asleep at every night was finally his home. Not a house he was temporarily staying at, not a shack that trembled under every word that he and Edna screamed, this was his home. But right now he felt awkward... like he wasn't really wanted there right now. That he was an imposition to half of the household. And he wanted to do his best to just stay under the radar and act as if he wasn't there so everyone would be happy.

"Steven, we'll be back by one!" Kitty informed him ten minutes later as he began to rinse the dishes. Her heels clicked on the linoleum floor as she hurried into the kitchen to say goodbye. "Oh bless your heart," She chimed, opening her arms to hug him once more. Hyde smiled bashfully and held up his sudsy hands- his way of saying he couldn't hug. "Don't worry about Red, either," she mumbled with a grin. He shrugged and nodded once more- he wasn't about to do anything wrong to anything of their possessions. In fact as soon as he finished the dishes he was going to go to the basement and sleep.

"Bye Mrs. Forman," he said and then turned back around to the sink. He listened with one ear for the front door to shut and once he heard the click he hurried to finish the dishes. Hyde sighed heavily and stuck his hand in the sudsy sink to drain the water. Once he pulled the plug he quickly rang his hands dry and zipped up the stairs. Drinking hot black coffee and then washing the dishes in warm water was not a good idea for him.

* * *

While the Formans were at church, Hyde did more than just the dishes to help out Mrs. Forman. When he had gone downstairs to sleep, he saw two baskets of dirty laundry and decided it would help the overworked woman if he did them instead. He had nothing better to do, anyway. Hyde slipped one of Eric's Led Zeppelin 8 tracks in the player and blasted the smooth music throughout the entire basement as he sorted the laundry into their appropriate shades. He knew Eric would feel awkward if he was doing this, what with the lady's under attire, yet Hyde was used to worse at home and didn't even cringe when sorting through Laurie's clothes.

After the washer was rumbling with the full load of clothes, Hyde sat on the couch and began to flip through the channels. But when finding nothing interesting on the television set, he slid his feet off of the coffee table and quickly ran upstairs to find something of more interest to do. While looking in the kitchen cabinets for a snack, he fell upon one of Mrs. Forman's cookbooks and a light bulb seemed to flicker on in his head. Hyde took the orange book to the table, sat down, and began flipping through the pages. He knew that Kitty always made lunch when they got back from church, and now that it was 12:15, they would be getting home soon.

Hyde knew he wouldn't hear the end of it if Eric came home to see Hyde cooking, cleaning, and doing their laundry- but the smile he'd see on Mrs. Forman's face would be worth it. His unshaded eyes scanned through the pages for ideas yet everything seemed more... gourmet and more for a large dinner. Closing the recipe book he leaned back on the chair and stared at the ceiling racking his brain.

_'What would Kitty make?'_ Hyde thought and then turned to the refrigerator while scrunching his mouth. Scooting back his chair, Hyde walked to the fridge and opened the door. He searched through the different drawers and smirked. Tossing out a container of ham and another of cheese, he grinned.

Hyde rummaged through the cabinets for a long cookie sheet. After the pots and pans toppled out of the full drawer, he finally spotted them in the back. After carefully placing the stove-top pans back into the drawer, Hyde placed five slices of buttered bread onto the sheet. Then he placed the ham and cheese over the bottom slice of bread. After tossing on the top slice of bread he turned the oven on and set the timer for fifteen minutes, then slid the sheet on the top rack.

As Hyde slowly walked through the living room and to the stairs, he grimaced. He leaned on the wall and stared towards the kitchen door with a deep frown etched into his face. He had just done the laundry, made lunch, and cleaned some of the Forman's house. He would never have done that at Edna's house- considering they didn't have a lot of food and there were too many dishes to clean. But just the thought that he actually cared about those simple things scared him but also made him smile.

He hadn't been raised to do that with his mom. But because he was over at the Forman's house so much, they had changed him to be someone he wasn't meant to be. They had destroyed the fate his parents had set for him and now he was happier than he had ever been in his life. He could smile without feeling a tightness in his throat that almost choked him. He could genuinely smile without feeling like he was hiding anything. For the first time he felt safe, he felt comfortable and almost like he belonged here. There was no way he could express how grateful he was; maybe to Red and Kitty, and he tried in a silent way with Eric last night when he let him go through his box. Hyde could remember when he was seven and he wished every night he could live with the Formans... and now, nine years later... here he was. Hopefully they knew how happy he was.

But he shoved his sentiment aside and ran up the stairs, trying to forget the feelings that started etching their way into his heart and his brain. One down-side to living here was that he'd probably turn out to be a softy like Forman, and that was the last thing he wanted. Hyde didn't want to become one with his emotions, he wanted to go on as if he didn't have any. And so he would.

He ran into Eric's room and grabbed his guitar from the wall by the dresser and practically flew down the stairs and through the house. He could hear his bare feet lightly thudding against the wooden stairs as he walked calmly into the basement in case anyone was in there. Hyde sighed with relief when walking into the silence and the dull smell of incense and pot.

Hyde sat on the couch with his guitar and grabbed Eric's yellow notebook and the pencil that lay beside it. Turning to a new page, he started jotting down words that seemed to go together, yet he wouldn't know until he was finished with the composition he was working on. While playing songs by his favorite bands was fun he liked to write his own music and songs although his friends didn't really know that- except Donna.

After scanning the words that he had written rather quickly for a rough draft of the words to the song, he picked up his guitar and started plucking the beginning chords. Glancing at the door momentarily to make sure no one was coming, he started to sing.

"Foggy eyes create a fake mentality where we're reaching for the skies with open arms and paper tongues; escaping reality. Call me blind but I'm staring vacant. Call me weak but I'm chasing twenty. I'm nothing but a sinner, I'm best at losing but I'm always gaining. And come tonight we'll be running from the dawn of our lives. And come tomorrow we'll be running out of pavement. So don't lose touch, don't lose touch. I've got twenty cents to my name, and forty hours to kill. When staring at the ceiling's lost it's thrill, you can find me staring blind. I've got nothing to lose but everything to gain. When life is like an hourglass, and I'm nothing but a grain of sand. And come tonight we'll be running from the dawn of our lives and come tomorrow we'll be running out of pavement. So don't lose touch, don't lose touch-"

"Hyde that is beautiful!" The sixteen year old jumped and his fingers picked the wrong string when he startled. He heard two sets of giggles and glared up at the two familiar faces that had been sitting in the basement for quite some time. He narrowed his eyes at Fez and sighed heavily, setting down his guitar. "No, continue!" He glanced over to the small girl who was staring at him in bewilderment.

"Nah, I'm good. When did you get here?" He asked coolly, setting down his guitar and moving to his usual chair. He noticed how Jackie's mouth curved downwards and he smirked. He would use that against her later.

"Just a couple minutes ago when you were singing that you were losing touch the first time." Hyde sighed and rolled his eyes as he chuckled softly. Hyde noted both Jackie and Fez were dressed quite unlike their usual attire. Fez was in a blue suit and Jackie in a light pink sundress.

"Where did you guys come from?" He asked with raised eyebrows.

"Church," they both replied, Hyde nodded slowly and turned to the blank television screen. Fez ran to the deep freeze to grab a Popsicle and Jackie sat on the couch beside Hyde. He watched as she picked up the yellow notebook pad that he had been writing in and he reached forward quickly to try and grab it from her yet she jerked it passed where he could reach.

"Jackie give it," Hyde growled warningly he watched as she shook her head, causing her curls to bounce against her shoulders. Hyde closed his eyes and breathed out slowly, trying to pass it off as anger._ 'She doesn't look any different than yesterday,'_ Hyde told himself, _'that dress she's wearing is really gross and I cannot see her thigh...'_ Hyde thought, shaking that idea out of his head. He hated Jackie Burkhart- she was a bitch. But he was a bastard and everyone thought he was scary or gross. While everyone thought she was perfect and spoiled...

_'No,'_ he hissed at himself, _'Jackie is nothing but a selfish spoiled brat who tries too hard to be pretty. Wait, no... bad.'_ Hyde groaned softly in defeat and fell back against the chair.

"I don't get it," she finally mumbled which caught his attention. Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes as he got up to turn on the television.

His comfortable solitude had been broken with his two friends who he hadn't been expecting. He opened his mouth to retort with a sarcastic joke, yet as he was about to speak he stopped. Hyde sniffed the air and spun around quickly toward the stairs- he forgot about lunch. He could hear the two ask what his problem was but he didn't care; he didn't want the Formans to come home to a house smelling like burnt food.

Hyde skidded into the kitchen and quickly pulled down the oven door. He sighed with relief when seeing the golden brown sandwiches and grabbed the cookie sheet. He yelped and quickly pulled his hand out- he figured the sheet wouldn't be hot enough to burn his hand. Growling lowly, Hyde wrapped his left hand in a towel and used that to carry the cookie sheet to the stove-top.

As Hyde piled the ten sandwiches on a glass plate, he heard feet pounding up the basement stairs and he sighed. Fez and Jackie appeared at the head of the stairs and he smiled softly at them.

"Hungry?" He asked, Fez nodded vigorously and ran into the kitchen yet Jackie remained silent. Hyde tossed one of his sandwiches on a plate he had pulled out for him and Fez bit into the warm sandwich. He glanced towards Jackie who stood in the doorway and he held up his other toasted ham and cheese sandwich. Jackie shook her head and rolled her eyes before turning away. "What you think I'd poison it?" He joked darkly, setting it on a plate for the girl.

"I'm just not hungry," She mumbled quietly, Hyde eyed her curiously before handing her the plate. "I had a huge breakfast this morning," she added, Hyde scoffed.

"So did I, but you see, I'm still hungry."

"I have to stay in shape for cheerleading!" She finally cried which caused Hyde to start laughing. She glared at him darkly and he set the plate in front of her.

"So you eat, what? Five hundred calories a day?" He mocked, using reverse psychology although she didn't know. "Oh that's real healthy, doll. So you'll be at a meet and then you'll pass out and you'll be suspended from the-"

"Give me the sandwich!" Jackie cried angrily, glaring at him with tears in her eyes. Hyde sighed softly and shook his head as he watched her sit at the kitchen table. Hyde took one of the sandwiches from the pile and sat at the table as well. Fez wasn't paying attention as he happily munched on his lunch while Jackie stared tearfully at the toasted sandwich. Hyde smirked and stared at her, slowly putting the sandwich to his mouth.

"See? That's called eating," Hyde told her with a teacher-like voice and his mouth full. Jackie rolled her eyes and tore off a piece of the crust and nibbled on it timidly while glaring at him. As Hyde watched her slowly eat, his heart fell. He grimaced and turned to face her. "Hey Jackie," he mumbled, she wiped her eyes quickly before looking at him. "If it helps you're the skinniest girl on the cheerleading team and I'm not just saying that. I think a few of those chicks need to eat 200 calories or less a day." Jackie smiled at him as he tried to make her feel better- he wasn't necessarily lying but he wasn't telling the full truth. She was by far the skinniest girl on the team and since she was the youngest and still in the process of growing the older girls were probably on her about staying thin. But the other cheerleaders were less than average sized themselves.

"Thanks Steven," she whispered then took a small bite out of the sandwich. He smiled to himself and then leaned back in his chair. Fez grinned at him as he wiped his hands to rid the bread crumbs. Hyde's eyes widened when he heard the younger boy belch loudly, that was something he hadn't ever done before. The two boys started laughing while Jackie shuddered in disgust.

"Nice!" Hyde cried then high-fived Fez. Fez nodded while beaming with pride and walked to the fridge to get a can of pop. Hyde shifted his bare eyes over to Jackie who looked up from her half-eaten sandwich and smiled at him. He smirked back at her and exhaled gently.

"You weren't supposed to understand it," Hyde mumbled finally which caused Jackie to look at him curiously for once. "The song, it's just a bunch of words put togeth-"

"It's a bunch of words put together that mean something," she interrupted and Hyde rolled his eyes. "I just didn't get what the 'chasing twenty' was." Hyde laughed softly and shook his head. "What is it?" She asked him but he just shrugged.

"I dunno," he answered staring in her mismatched eyes to "prove" he was being honest. But thankfully with her it didn't hurt so much to lie.

* * *

After a half an hour of talking with just Fez and Jackie, the Formans arrived back home with Donna. Kitty had been overjoyed to find out that lunch was already cooked and the laundry was finished. Red insisted on paying him an extra ten dollars for what he did yet he declined; they paid him by taking him in.

They waited for Kelso to arrive at Eric's house- with their stolen clothes- and when he didn't show up after two hours, the five piled into the car. Hyde once again took the passenger side and sat next to Donna who was holding hands with Eric. He looked away from the two and turned to look at Fez and Jackie who were both staring out opposite sides of the window.

"We're an exciting bunch," Eric spoke sarcastically, Hyde smirked and rolled down his window. Pulling a joint from his pocket he tilted his head to Eric who stared warily at driver nodded his head as if pointing toward the backseat and mouthed "Jackie." Hyde shrugged his shoulders and pulled out the deodorizer spray that Eric kept in the car when they felt the need to move their circle from the basement.

As Hyde took the first hit he glanced at Donna who was staring at him. He smiled weakly with the rolled paper in between his lips and shrugged his shoulders. She had known he had been smoking weed for a long time now but he didn't think she ever saw him or Eric actually do it. Hyde held in the smoke as long as he could bare to and finally exhaled with a large puff of the smoke escaping his mouth. He handed Eric the joint but was surprised to see Donna take it and pull out a lighter.

"What?" He asked in shock, and she turned to Eric."When did you...?"

"Yesterday," she replied grinning as Hyde smirked, "I finally understand why you guys do it."

"Do what?" Jackie piped up in the back seat. Hyde coughed and shook his head.

"You don't wanna know," he told her trying to make it sound worse than it was. He swore he could hear her shudder when he spoke. Eric nodded at him as he accepted that answer. Hyde watched as Donna slowly breathed in and closed her eyes. He never thought he would ever see her doing this with them... or this at all. The three decided to keep it in the front because Fez didn't like to smoke as much and they didn't want Jackie freaking out even though she knew they did it.

"Jackie, when we get to Kelso's house do you want to go get him?" Eric asked. Jackie agreed to that and began to cough quietly. To help release some of the smoke Eric rolled down his window as well and even Fez did a little bit. Hyde turned to the two in the backseat and saw a pair of brown eyes glaring daggers at him.

Finally Eric pulled into Kelso's car-filled driveway and Jackie quickly ran out of the car.

"You son of a bitch!" Fez yelled angrily, hitting Eric. "Give me that!" Hyde and Donna laughed at Fez's reaction to the three keeping the drug usage only in the front. Hyde hadn't known when Fez started to actually like smoking- he always seemed cautious before. But so had Hyde for a time... until he was 14.

Hyde started laughing even more as he dug in his pocket. Donna and Eric looked at him curiously and he couldn't look them in the eye. The scene was getting funnier and funnier to him and not only because of the herb he just smoked.

"I have two," he finally choked. Eric's cheeks puffed as he tried to stifle his sudden laughter and Fez groaned angrily in the back seat upon hearing Hyde's announcement. Donna covered her mouth as she shook with rolling laughter. Hyde fumbled to grip the matching joint in his pocket but finally he beamed as he held the white stick in his hand. He flicked the lighter and placed the flame to the end where the herb was poking out waiting to burn.

As Hyde breathed in another large hit he watched as the door opened and cut his inhale short. Both he and Fez held the sticks under the window in case it was Kelso's parents. When seeing it was Jackie alone Hyde shrugged and breathed out quickly before taking another draw. Yet as she walked closer and closer to the Vista Cruiser he noticed she wore an annoyed expression and he slumped his shoulders.

"Should we give one to her? She looks angry," Donna asked after Hyde passed the second blunt. Hyde shook his head violently and glared at the roach in her hand and hoped she wouldn't give it to the cheerleader.

The car door slammed and Jackie huffed in anger. Hyde turned and sat on the seat backwards which caused Donna to laugh.

"No Kelso?" He asked, mentally face-palming himself when he heard his own slightly hopeful voice.

"No!" Jackie barked, "he says he can't come with because his stupid brother is back and he brought his girlfriend and they're really hitting it off. Why would he rather spend time with his family than me?" She finished. Hyde's grimace deepened as he heard her complain. Kelso's oldest brother probably came back home from wherever the hell he went after graduating and Kelso was probably doing more than "hitting it off" with his girlfriend. Donna and Forman probably felt the same way by the angry and disgusted looks on their faces.

"Because he hasn't seem him in awhile?" Hyde suggested, which caused Donna to punch his side. Hyde grunted in pain and shot her a dark glare before turning his attention back to Jackie.

"And now I'm stuck with Scooby and the gang as they try to figure out why they can't figure out a mystery," she grumbled and Hyde smiled at her innocently which made Fez giggle. "It smells disgusting," she whined and pulled out a pink bottle of perfume from her purse.

"Jackie as a compromise we'll take you to the mall," Eric offered- even he felt bad for Jackie right now. All of them were sick of Kelso cheating on her and right now it was a new low for him. Jackie grinned and nodded and the four relaxed once more when being reassured they can continue to smoke.

"Can I ask a question?" Jackie asked after a few minutes of silence. They all nodded and she bit her lip nervously. "You guys just do... pot right?"

"Yeah!" Donna cried, appalled that her friend would think she did any other form of drug. After all it was her second time.

"Only pot!" Eric agreed, he never even thought about trying any other illegal substance. Other than beer.

"I'd never touch anything else!" Fez chirped happily.

Hyde stayed silent and stared out the window and everyone seemed to be waiting for his answer before moving on to another topic.

"What about you, Steven?" Jackie asked, Hyde cringed at the sound of his first name against her slightly accusing voice. He could tell his other friends were curious too and so he shook his head.

"Wait, you've done other stuff?" Donna cried, punching Hyde once more. He shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his seat, trying to ignore the feeling of being glared at.

"Like what?" Eric asked and Hyde sighed heavily as he stared at the joint in his hand.

"I dunno..." Jackie scoffed in the backseat. "Nothing bad."

"So that rules out... _nothing_! It's all bad! Even this!" Eric cried, Hyde chuckled softly as Eric's normal paranoia kicked in.

"Fine! Just acid and shrooms, that's all."

After his straightforward answer, silence filled the car. Hyde glanced to Eric who was staring straight at the road and Donna who had her eyes closed. He didn't think hallucinogens were as bad as amphetamines or opiates. Besides he didn't do the LSD often and he only tried mushrooms with his dealer one night nearly a year ago. It wasn't enough to make his friends angry, if they knew Kelso tried other "stuff" as well they'd probably be even more angry at the older teen than Hyde. He wouldn't go anywhere near what Kelso had snuffed.

Conversation picked up again as they neared the mall yet Hyde stayed out of the boring "first day of school" talk. They had it every year; he didn't see why his friends thought going back to school was so exciting. Personally the thought of going back to the place that made him feel the lowest he'd ever felt seemed repulsive. But now that he was living with the Forman's there was no chance he could stay home as often. He couldn't say he was sick every day of the week except Thursday and the weekends. They would know something was up and Red would get angry and he didn't want that. And they wanted him to... _try_. The thought of putting an effort into his studies made him shudder.

After pulling into the mall's food court parking lot, Eric found an empty spot and hurried to pull in. Hyde heard the two in the backseat practically jump out of the window in excitement at being at the mall. Rolling his eyes he kicked open his door and heard a thud of metal. Slowly he pulled back the door of Eric's station wagon and stared in awe at the white scratch in the new gray Plymouth. Donna snickered beside him and shook her head.

"Only you," she murmured in amusement. The two friends quickly ran from the passenger side to avoid anyone pinning the scratch on them (although it was entirely Hyde's fault.) When they finally caught up to Jackie and Fez who had hurriedly dragged Eric to the doors, Hyde and Donna had to contain their laughter. Eric tilted his head in curiosity and Hyde shrugged his shoulders; it was better to keep people uninformed of such things. Donna punched his arm lightly and he held open the door for the chortling girl.

"So what are we doing now?" Fez asked as the five huddled. Hyde turned to Eric, who turned to Donna, who then turned to Jackie.

"I am looking for a new cute outfit for the first day of school!" Jackie chirped then gave Donna a disapproving look. "Donna, you should come with me." The taller girl rolled her eyes and held her boyfriend's hand once more.

"I figured I was going with Eric," Donna answered, causing the fifteen year old to glare darkly at her friend. "Why don't you go with Fez? Or Hyde?" Hyde stiffened at the idea of being dragged around the mall by an annoying Jackie who would be trying on clothes that he wouldn't want to look at. Donna sent him a sarcastic smile and he nodded down to where his hand rested at his side; four fingers down.

"Well... what are you doing, Eric?" Jackie asked causing the seventeen year old boy to shrug.

"School shopping," Hyde scoffed and shook his head with amusement evident all over his face. "What's so funny?" He asked his new roommate. Hyde shook his head and began to scan his surroundings. "Well, what are you going to do?" Eric questioned him with a strict voice. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I just came here for Orange Julius," He admitted which caused three of his four friends to bust out laughing. Jackie glared at him with her arms crossed, which he chose to ignore.

"Well, why don't we just all go to the different stores together then get food afterwards?" Eric suggested. "It's a win/win for all." He made eye contact with each of his friends who then shrugged and nodded in agreement to the idea.

The group of five slowly made their way to JC Penney's where Eric wanted to go to buy his school supplies. As they walked throughout the mall, Hyde grew quiet and stared only at the shoes of his friends for direction. He could hear them talking but wasn't paying attention to what they said. He breathed slowly and tried to make sure his eyes didn't wander to anywhere except the grayish blue tiles on the floor.

When feeling a warm hand circle his arm, he jumped from his zen-like trance and glanced up. Shaking his head he laughed softly after catching Donna's cautious gaze. To his surprise, Hyde found that they were already in JC Penney and he softened his rigid stance.

"Hyde...?" Donna asked slowly, "everything okay?" He shook his head and chuckled.

"Yup," he replied coolly, trying to pass off his sudden odd behavior as an effect of the "circle" they had in the car. But Donna didn't believe him and he knew that. "Where's your boyfriend?" Donna's lips curled in a half smile and pointed behind them where Eric was inspecting a new book bag. Hyde smirked and rolled his eyes before leaning on the large shelf behind him.

"So how is living with the Formans?" Donna asked him, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"Pretty cool," he answered... but that wasn't half of it. The one thing he had ever asked for had happened, the only thing he prayed for as a child had come true. Hyde was sure Donna knew he was being "cool" about it, especially with the slightly annoyed yet entertained look on her face.

"Just cool?" She asked, he smiled and shook his head.

"Donna... you know how I feel," he finally murmured and she nodded, grinning widely at him. He felt her arms wrap around him in a hug and he couldn't help but hug her back. Hyde nervously pocketed his hands and took a deep breath.

"I'm glad you're happy," Donna replied softly. He could tell she was genuinely ecstatic for him. Right now she was probably the only one to understand how much living with the Formans meant to him, she was the only one who could read it blatantly like the words were written on his face. And although living with the Forman's was a big part of his current happiness, he was also glad to know he and Donna were still as close as they had been before she and Eric started dating. Talking to her wasn't so awkward, anymore either. There was no ulterior motive; just a close friendship that they both valued.

"I mean, she made me chocolate chip pancakes, man!" Hyde exclaimed which made Donna giggle at his sudden outburst. Both were unaware that his exclamation had caught the attention of Eric who was now beaming across the aisle. "I never even knew they existed, and I actually had good coffee this morning-"

"Oh no, Hyde!" Donna cried jokingly as she interrupted him after catching her boyfriend's happy smile. "Do you know what this will do to you? If you start getting all high maintenance-"

"I give you complete permission to shoot me," He finished with a knock-dead grin spread across his face. Donna's quiet chuckles ceased yet the soft smile on her face was permanent as she practically felt the happiness radiate from Hyde.

"But... can I ask you something?" She finally mumbled, his content smirk faded and he nodded. "Are you okay?" He knew she was talking about his mom's absence.

"Donna, you know how I felt... feel about Edna," he corrected himself and watched as she nodded slowly. "You know how bad it was, and right now... I swear this is..." he trailed off, taking a deep breath before he finished. Even with his current high and his sudden talkative-ness with Donna the words seemed to fumble on his tongue. "This is the happiest I've ever been," he finally whispered, gazing at her with bare eyes.

It was true. As a child the temporary joy of staying with the Formans or his grandparents had eradicated after he was taken from their homes. The light he felt when Chris was alive had been extinguished the night his brother passed away. And after that, there was a void within him that yearned for that feeling of light and happiness. There was a perforated hole that tugged at the feeling of loneliness and screamed for a place to call home. And finally he had it, finally the people that had destructed him and his potential were gone from his life forever. For the first time in a long time he felt light, he felt that he could breathe without a guilty conscience.

Hyde grinned at Donna and sighed in content. Yet as he looked at her, his smile faded in reaction to her grimace. Turning to where she was staring, he caught the eye of Jackie who's hands trembled as she held up a green blouse in front of Donna.

"I found this for you," she murmured quietly, avoiding looking anywhere but at Donna. As Hyde noted Donna's unchanging glare, he slowly backed away from the two girls. He could feel tension rising and he didn't want to be there when Donna yelled at her friend for whatever she did wrong.

Silently, Hyde searched for Fez and Eric. He knew they hadn't walked far from where he and Donna had been, so he searched throughout the nearby aisles. After walking down the third section of backpacks, he finally found the two. Fez had his head inside a purple messenger bag and Eric was intently inspecting a blue Spiderman book bag.

"Hey," Hyde coolly spoke as he walked up to his friends. Fez slowly pulled his head out of the bag and sighed with a dreamy smile on his face. Hyde raised an eyebrow at him and shook his head before turning to Eric. "The girls are fighting," he mumbled which caught both of the boy's attention. Fez tossed the bag to the ground and fled out of the aisle while Eric just stared at Hyde curiously.

"Do you know why?" Hyde shook his head and chuckled.

"Actually, I don't," he answered Eric's question. He then watched Eric place the book bag in the shopping cart and he sighed heavily. "Forman, are you really getting that Spiderman back pack?" Hyde asked incredulously. Eric slowly nodded and stared at Hyde.

"Why, what's wrong with it?" Hyde rolled his eyes and felt at least two years older than Eric as he began to speak.

"Forman, you're seventeen years old and you're buying a Spiderman backpack. You're going to walk in that school with the same bag as 7th graders and you're telling me you don't care?"

"No, not really." Eric replied coolly. Hyde slumped his shoulders and groaned in annoyance.

"The last time I had a cartoon character backpack I was six years old," Hyde grumbled in hopes that would help Eric realize that it was immature to have a brand book bag.

"You had a cartoon character backpack?" Hyde felt like hitting his head against a wall at Eric's reply. Yet when catching his de facto brother's amused smirk he realized that all Forman was doing was trying to give Hyde a hard time.

"That's besides the point, Forman. What I'm trying to say is... whatever," Hyde finally grumbled in defeat which caused Eric to grin triumphantly. "I guess we better go find your matching notebooks and pencils!" Hyde cried with mocked enthusiasm. Eric scowled and sighed heavily and followed a snickering Hyde out of the back pack aisle.

* * *

Three hours had passed. Three long and miserable hours of chasing Jackie around as she gained energy for her quest to find her perfect back-to-school outfit. Shopping was her drug and right now she was beyond obliviated. And while she was fixing her high, Hyde's was quickly crashing and burning. But he wasn't the only one- Eric, Donna, and Fez were each either dozing off or staring with dreary eyes into a vacant space.

"How about this one?" Jackie chirped. Hyde felt himself cringe as her shrill voice rang in his ears and he moaned in annoyance as she bounced out of the fitting room. Yet as she stood in front of him his eyes stared straight at her chest- where she had left the top four buttons un-touched so nearly half of her chest plus her light blue bra was visible. Hyde's eyebrows raised in order to keep his eyes open and he smirked softly. "Steven!" Jackie whined, unaware that he was ogling her chest.  
"Huh?" He finally asked dumbly as his tired eyes met hers. Jackie huffed and turned around to inspect the outfit herself- which wasn't the best thing to do. Hyde's breath hitched as his eyes moved up her legs, to her thighs that were exposed by the jean skirt she was currently wearing. Yet his eyes caught sight of something purple and lacy and his devillish smirk deepened.

"Hey, Jackie," Hyde mumbled in attempts to grab her attention. The fifteen year old whirled around and looked at him curiously. "I wouldn't buy that skirt." Jackie folded her arms over her chest and glared angrily at him. Hyde's bare eyes widened and he backed against the chair when gazing at her cleavage that was pressed tightly together by her crossed arms. He cleared his throat and took a shaky breath and hoped that she didn't relate his pained expression to her clingy and slightly unbuttoned blouse.

"Why?" She barked in aggravation. Hyde stretched his legs out and shrugged his shoulders.  
"There's a hole in the ass." He answered coolly. Jackie squealed and blushed a beet red before scampering into the dressing room. Hyde laughed to himself before exhaling the shaky breath that he had been too afraid to let out before.

"How'd you know?" Donna asked him quietly which surprised him. Hyde turned to face her and noted the amused glint in her eye.

"Well, it was pretty hard not to see the purple against the blue," Hyde replied nonchalantly much to Donna's surprise.

"Purple?" Hyde opened his eyes upon hearing her question and cleared his throat. He shifted his gaze over to the girl who was laughing silently. "Were you looking at her ass?" Hyde grimaced when realizing he didn't have his shades on so he closed his eyes instead- the second best option.

"No, I opened my eyes and her butt was right there and I couldn't help but notice-"

"How about this?" Hyde and Donna both growled lowly before turning back to Jackie. Hyde stared at the raven haired girl and felt his lip tremble. She stood in front of him wearing a tight pair of jeans and a dark gray and pink striped camisole under an unbuttoned pink sweater.

"It's fine," Donna mumbled causing Jackie to glower ominously at her. Hyde closed his eyes and tried to ignore her presence at all costs. Silence fell upon them and he figured she had went back into the room to try on a different outfit- he hoped that she put that one in a "keep" pile. Until he felt a swift kick to his shin and he cursed loudly, which woke Eric and Fez from their nap.

"Jackie what the hell?" He grunted painfully as he rubbed his throbbing leg.

"You didn't tell me what you thought about it?"

_'Well I wouldn't able to tell you what I thought about it anyway but I could tell you what I would want to do with-'_ Hyde stopped his train of thought and shook his head violently.

"It looks... nice," he grumbled with uncertainty. Jackie stomped back in the room angrily, leaving behind a laughing Donna, a freaked out Eric, a grumpy Fez and a scowling Hyde.

Donna and Hyde watched as Fez rested his head on Eric's shoulder and Eric rotated his arm to wave of Fez's cheek, yet won the fight after he fell back asleep. While Donna continued to chortle, Hyde sat in silence, trying to relieve the dull pain that shot through his leg from Jackie's pointy shoes and also his overactive mind and hormones.

"Are you okay?" Donna asked him in between quiet laughs. Hyde nodded softly before standing up and walking away from the bench. "Where are you going?"

"I am not staying here with some spoiled brat while she tries on an outfit she'll wear once." Hyde hissed venomously and shook his left leg to rid the pins and needles that had started to prickle his nerves. "I'll be at the food co-"

"Great idea!" Eric bounced off of the long bench the four had been sitting on and stood with Hyde, who hung his head. "Jackie, grab what you have tried on and buy it." Eric ordered the girl in the dressing room.

"No!" Hyde heard a slightly muffled cry from behind the slated door. He stared down at the floor and caught sight of her small bare feet. "I still have five more to try on!" She whined, Donna groaned and pounded loudly on the door.

"Seriously Jackie, we've spent two hours waiting for you to figure out what twenty outfits you'll buy."

"Yes, you have the money why don't you just buy them all!" Fez suggested darkly, his voice clouded with sleep.

Jackie was silent in the dressing room and Hyde relaxed a little. Maybe she was too angry to reply or she was sorting through which outfits she would buy and not buy. Either way it meant that they were almost done here and he could get some food.

Suddenly Jackie somehow found her way out of the dressing room with a stack of clothes that covered her entire upper body. Hyde stifled his laughter as she walked towards them grunting and panting as she carried the large pile of clothes.

"Here," she chirped, thrusting half of the clothes into Hyde. He slumped his shoulders and held his hands back and watched them fall with an amused smirk. Yet when he saw her raise her foot he quickly scooped them up in an unorganized pile. She smiled sinisterly at him then did the same to Eric who willingly took them.

"You're buying all of these?" Hyde asked in awe. Jackie turned to him and nodded chipperly, holding up a Master Card. Hyde nodded once with a sneer on his face as he followed her to the register. Donna stuck her tongue out at him and he rolled his eyes.

_'That spoiled bitch so owes me,' _Hyde growled to himself as he dumped the first pile on the counter. The young cashier looked at him and smiled sweetly before ringing up the first few outfits Jackie had tried on.

As Eric waited for the counter to clear so he could set the second half of her new wardrobe on the counter, Hyde turned and started walking away from his friends towards the exit. Jackie was finished shopping and they were all headed to the food court so Hyde could just get a head start. He didn't even think Donna noticed that he had suddenly vanished from the group.

Hyde ran up the stairs that lead to the second floor of the mall. He could feel the eyes of other shoppers glaring at him as he passed in front of them. After touching the dull tiles that would lead him to the food court, Hyde slowed his pace and pocketed his hands.

While he walked he willed himself not to think. But he didn't get it... he didn't like Jackie. She absolutely disgusted him; what with her bratty high-maintenance personality that made him want to jump off a cliff. And her shrill annoying voice dug into his brain like a parasite that just wouldn't leave him alone. It grated on his nerves and his eardrums yet what disgusted him that he had grown used to it... that over time it didn't bother him as much.

He didn't want to think about Jackie Burkhart and he didn't want to be around her. The more she was in his presence the weirder he got. Weird was a good word for it; that was the only way to explain that he could stand her and that he could actually understand her motives and could read her like an open book. Hyde didn't want to think about her because when he did he felt sick to his stomach and so wrong. But he had been born wrong.

At that, Hyde stiffened. He stopped his slow walking and shook his head. Even when he told himself not to think about her he was still thinking about her and it was driving him crazy. Jackie was always there in the back of his mind and it scared the shit out of him.

* * *

_**Author's Note: What did you think? I cut off some details that would be after this because I couldn't find a place to actually end it. It just kept going and going and I didn't want this to turn into a never-ending chapter. But it was a quite funny scene so it will be uploaded in the deleted scenes. Plus I thought that was a good place to end it, but I dunno.**_

**_Hope you enjoyed it!_**

**_Love,_**

**_Angie  
_**


	52. So Far Away

_**Hello all! This chapter marks... the end of season 1. Can you believe it? It's awesome! But now that we're moving on to season 2 I have some information for you.**_

_**I was looking over the timeline for the show and it appears that the first 6 seasons go over a two year timeline. But between the third and fourth season there are two Halloween episodes, and that doesn't make any sense! Plus it seems like they have two summers. So I've been thinking about what I'm going to do and I've decided I'm condensing it a bit. I have a selection of episodes that I am going to write for and I will go over that list to make sure it can fit in a two year time frame and changes of the very loose timeline that the writers created may be shown like longer seasons (winter, spring, fall, summer.) If anyone has any questions, let me know.**_

_**Also, I hadn't expected it to take me so long to update, I'm sorry for that. But these next couple of months will be really busy for me so updates may be less frequent than normal. But hopefully by the end of May I'll be back into my normal schedule of updates and whatnot. So sorry for that!  
**_

_**Hope you enjoy,**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

**_The Good Son_**

_This is my life; it's not what it was before. All these feelings I've shared, and these are my dreams that I've never lived before. Somebody shake me 'cause I must be sleeping. These are my words that I've never said before; I think I'm doing okay. And this is the smile that I've never shown before. Somebody shake me cause I must be sleeping. I'm so afraid of waking; please don't shake me? And now that we're here- so far away all the struggle we thought was in vain. And all the mistakes one life contains they all finally start to go away. And now that we're here- so far away and I feel like I can face the day. I can forgive, and I'm not ashamed to be the person that I am today..._

It was worse than Hyde imagined. Never before had he felt so... odd was the right word. He felt as if he actually cared about what he did and how he did it. And the worst part was that it even affected his school work.

The first week of school had started off with Kitty singing in excitement as she burst into Eric and Hyde's room at 5:30 in the morning. Eric was chipper and excited as he quickly hustled to get dressed and ready for school. While Hyde was falling asleep as he stood and put on his clothes. The day after that he had received a detention and received one of the "longest lecture ever" from Red according to Eric. After that Hyde had told Mr. and Mrs. Forman that he would work harder. Hyde? Work harder? As soon as he said it he could practically hear the death march playing in his head.

Wednesday he had been called on and gave an answer without a fight. Thursday he had been handed back a paper he had actually worked almost an hour on for anatomy- with a B and a smiley face at the top of the page. He had quickly crumpled the paper and threw it in his nearly empty locker in disgust at himself. The worst was Friday; he was pulled out of class by his calculus teacher who praised his hard work and said "this year would mark a new beginning!" Hyde felt sick.

All of Hyde's hard work on flying under the radar was now shot to hell. There was no way he was going to start cooperating with the system. The whole "starting on good terms" made him want to... well actually rub it in Forman's face that he was actually capable of succeeding. But that was besides the point he was trying to make.

But all of that was forgotten as Hyde dragged himself off of his cot. Today he could mess around and not worry about exceeding anyone's expectations because today was Saturday. If he had been living with Edna he would be sleeping in until 2:00. But the absolute latest he could sleep in while living with the Forman's was twenty five minutes ago.

While stretching and yawning, Hyde quickly tousled his hair in an attempt to slightly comb through the growing mess of curls. After his ritual of trying to pop every bone in his body which always freaked out Eric (much to Hyde's amusement) he bolted out of the room he and Eric shared and charged down the stairs.

Hyde held his breath as he padded through the living room. He didn't want to have to deal with another one of Red Forman's infamous rants. If he did he'd probably promise them that he'd wake up at 7:00 or something of the sort. Yet as he gently pushed open the kitchen door, he was greeted with the warmth that radiated from the oven and the inviting scent of blueberry waffles.

"Good morning, Steven!" Kitty chirped happily as she flipped the waffle maker. Hyde smiled sleepily before sitting next to Eric.

"How nice of you to join us after-"

"Red the boys had a long week of school..." Kitty trailed off as she set down a glass of orange juice for Hyde. He sent a smile of gratitude toward her and she beamed back at him.

"Long week at school? My ass; if they want to know long weeks they should've fought in Korea!" Eric clenched his fist around his glass as he listened in annoyance at his father.

"You try doing calculus..." Eric mumbled quietly as his gaze fixated darkly at the table. Red's eyes glared at his son; even though Eric practically whispered his statement Red had ears of a hawk. Kitty laughed nervously and set down a large plate of waffles in the center of the table. She then placed three on Hyde's plate and he shook his head in awe and happiness.

"Wow, thanks Mrs. Forman! You know, we never had waffles at my house. My mom always said that a waffle was a luxury, like pillow cases or not getting hit. Man, this is so cool!" As Hyde finished his sentence, Red, Kitty and Eric each stared with wide eyes at the newest family member. He shrugged his shoulders and turned his head to look at Mrs. Forman.

"Well, you are welcome Steven. See Eric, I told you I was cool!" Hyde smiled and turned now to look at Eric, who shifted uncomfortably in his seat.

"Eric, did you tell your mother that she's not cool?" Hyde bit on his lip to suppress his laughter while he cut off a corner of the top waffle. He didn't really mind listening to this conversation but he wouldn't join in.

"What? Well…" Eric trailed off quietly and Hyde glanced at his nervous friend.

"Well stop telling your mother that she's not cool!" Eric sighed and slowly looked up at his mom.

"Fine mom. You're super fly!" Hyde chuckled at that and sighed softly. If Eric found trying to tell his mom that she was "super fly" difficult he would have loved to watch a conversation with Hyde and Edna. Hyde would be telling her she was "flying too much." He grimaced at that and stared at the golden brown waffles on his plate with a glazed expression.

"Well, thanks honey… Steven would you like maple syrup or blueberry syrup?" Hyde looked up from his trance-like position and grinned at Kitty.

"You have choices? Man, I love it here!" He cried, much to the happiness of Kitty and Eric.

"And we love having you here man. You're like the brother I never had. I mean, I have a sister, but I hate her so this is great!" Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before smirking softly at Eric who seemed to have cheered up a little bit.

But Hyde didn't love living with Eric and his parents just because they had a choice of syrup. After the first couple of days of everyone getting used to the third teen living under the roof, it had been great. Kitty loved having him around while she made dinner so she could talk to him about nothing and he'd actually talk with her. And the past couple of nights he was out in the garage with Red helping him with check ups for the Vista Cruiser and the Toyota. He and Red hadn't talked much but they didn't necessarily need to. Hyde felt more welcome with the Formans than when he lived with Edna; he felt like he was actually a part of a family, and a family that cared.

"Eric, after breakfast, I want you to rake the yard." Eric groaned and rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"Rake? But dad, I was gonna-" Hyde sighed; he knew Eric had a lot of homework to do; with Donna in Eric's anatomy class the two were taking private lessons about the opposite sex and their bodies. And Red had asked him to run a few errands for the Toyota last night.

"I'll do it," Hyde offered, Eric grinned in happiness at Hyde.

"Okay Steven!" Red said happily with a small smile on his face as he looked at him.

"I love my new brother!" Hyde's own smile widened and he held a thumbs up at Eric before taking another bite from his breakfast. What he wanted to say would stay with him. He wanted to help out because he felt grateful towards the Formans. He wanted to help out as much as possible- even though he'd be doing some of Eric's chores it was helping out his de facto brother. Hyde wasn't planning on doing anything else except chill in the basement with Kelso, Fez, and Eric anyway.

But when Red smiled at him, Hyde felt a new sense of happiness. Something he hadn't felt before; like he was proud of him. Or something. It made Hyde feel like he was doing something right. Like he was no longer an imposition to the Formans... that he actually belonged with them. He never had a father figure- only Red. And to feel that the middle aged man was proud of him made Hyde's year. He just had to keep it up.

While the four ate, Hyde listened to the simple conversations they had. And for the first time during the week he had been living with the Formans, he didn't feel like he was eavesdropping. He stayed quiet and listened while Red complained about work and Kitty about the women at the Piggly Wiggly and Eric about school and Donna, but he didn't have the sensation that he was listening in on a very private conversation. And while the topics weren't intriguing or entertaining, he still found himself interested in what each of them had to say.

Hyde glanced at Red as he talked to Eric about staying focused during school. The stern look on the man's face somehow made the sixteen year old relax. And when he shifted his gaze to Kitty, he even found the corners of his lips tugging upwards. Her ever-present smile and the light in her eyes as she listened to her son talk about his high grades eased his slightly worried mind. Then his eyes fell on Eric. The boredom evident on the older of the two boys as his father lectured him made Hyde chuckle. A father, a mother, a son. And what was Hyde in this family? The stray they picked up on the street? The scruffy friend who didn't have any other place to go?

"And Steven, how is school for you?" Kitty asked and he turned his attention toward the woman once more. He shrugged his shoulders and smiled at her as his questioning thoughts were immediately answered. He wasn't the scruffy friend or the stray; he was as much of the family as Eric and Kitty and Red.

"Not bad," Hyde mumbled nonchalantly yet the wide smile on his face caused the other three to think otherwise.

"Hyde, I saw you get pulled out of class by Mr. Saunders... what was that all about?" Eric asked, Hyde shook his head as he stared at his nearly empty plate.

"Nothin' really, just wanted to talk." Hyde answered with a tone of boredom. But his taunting brother mode made him continue. "Wanted to tell me he was happy with me or something..." Eric scoffed and raised his eyebrows which Kitty caught.

"Now Eric, why is that such a surprise? Steven is a very smart boy," Hyde grinned and stared at Eric with a look that mockingly screamed "yeah, what now?"

"Because the only time he ever gets pulled out of class is to be informed he's failing." Hyde's smile faded into a sinister glare at Eric.

"Hey Forman, you getting a good grasp on anatomy? I saw you were having issues the other day," Hyde hissed with a vengeful glint in his eye. The color in Eric's face drained as he heard Hyde's words.

"Oh sweetie if you're having problems I'm a nurse! I'm great at anatomy!" Hyde smirked at Eric who shook his head violently. Hyde took a deep breath then stood from the table with his plate in hand. As he rinsed the plate he tried to stifle his laughter as Eric stammered to inform his mom he had a B in the class.

"Actually, I think you have a D." Hyde "corrected" him, referring to Donna and a certain body part. Eric's cheeks flushed and he quickly buried his head in his hands which caused Hyde to snicker. Yet Red and Kitty appeared absolutely appalled.

"A D, Eric? This is exactly what I'm talking about! You're going to school to get an education... not to lollygag and fail." Red barked angrily, Eric slowly moved his hands from his face and sneered at Hyde who had walked to the sliding glass doors.

"Tell that to Mr. F average over there," Eric grumbled quietly. Hyde chose to ignore his friend's pathetic comeback and turned to Red.

"When I'm done raking do you want me to help you with the Toyota?" Hyde asked, catching Red's attention. The man sighed softly and smiled softly at Hyde.

"Sure, Steven... that would be great." Red answered, Hyde nodded and slammed the door shut as he walked outside.

Hyde walked over the lush green grass of the Forman's backyard, every few moments a loud crunch of leaves was heard under his boots. He was thankful for the mid September weather; it wasn't too cold to wear a coat and not too hot that he'd rather be outside naked than in jeans. The only shock was that the eaves were already falling.

As he opened the garage door he was greeted with the strong smell of car oil and gasoline. When he turned on the lights he immediately spotted the rake on the other side of the garage. Yet as he walked through it he noticed clutter that he knew Red would get on Eric's case for. He figured he'd end up cleaning it after raking the leaves; it was the least he could do for the Formans.

Hyde grabbed the rake off of the shelf and pulled the string that would lift the garage door. Once the garage door opened, he took that exit so he would be at the front lawn, where he was planning on working first.

He had never worked so hard to please anyone before. And now it wasn't even trying to please them; he wanted to do this. If he had been asked to do chores by Edna he would have laughed and slammed his bedroom door in her face. If she tried making him wash the dishes or hand him a broom he'd throw it back and say "shove it up your ass, no wait, you'd enjoy that too much." And then leave and show up in the Forman's basement.

But with the Formans, doing chores was different. They had taken him in to their always beautiful home, and he wouldn't allow himself to let their home turn into a disgusting place like Edna's house. He respected them, he respected their home and their belongings and he respected their respect. So he'd do whatever it took to uphold that respect.

Hyde had been working a good half an hour when he had a large pile of leaves from both the front and back yard. A thin layer of sweat coated Hyde's body as he continued to rake the leaves into the pile. Since he had been outside the temperature seemed to have raised ten degrees.

As Hyde wiped his brow, he heard a familiar voice say, "I never thought I'd see this!" Hyde glanced up and gave a small nod to Donna who slowly walked up the driveway. "What did you get in trouble for?" Hyde chuckled softly and held the rake in his right hand as he leaned against it.

"I didn't..." Hyde answered, then began walking to the garage once more. He knew Donna would either follow him or go into the Forman's house. He smiled softly when he heard her Converse tennis shoes lightly tap against the cement as they entered the garage.

"Wait... you voluntarily chose to do this?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders as he searched the shelves for the large black trash bags. "Aw Hyde, you do care!" Hyde grunted after hearing Donna's too cheery cry and glanced behind him. With a smirk on his lips he replied with a simple "whatever." His light smile faded as he noticed Donna looked about ready to cry.

"So... what brings you here?" He finally asked, catching her attention. "Why aren't you with Eric?" Hyde asked as he grabbed two beers from the fridge. He didn't think Red would notice. Donna sighed and Hyde watched as her plastered smile faltered.

"Because, no one else would understand... especially Eric..." Donna trailed off sadly and Hyde grimaced. He knew these talks. He had them with Donna all the time because he was the only one of their friends who could understand and relate to her problems.

"The 'rents at it again?" He asked and Donna nodded slowly.

"Hyde, they don't stop screaming at each other... it's like every night I fall asleep to them shouting in one way or another and either way... it's not... I hate it!" Donna cried and Hyde smiled weakly at her.

"How's Tina?" Hyde questioned Donna who shook her head slowly.

"Usually she sleeps in my room. She blames herself but I tell her it's not her fault but-"

"You and Tina aren't the reason they're fighting, trust me. Bob and Midge, they just... they're fighting for all the wrong reasons. But you can't do a damn thing to stop them. You just have to wait until hell blows over," Hyde felt Donna lean on the wall next to him. She exhaled a shaky sigh and turned to face him. Her eyes were red and tears were begging to fall but she wouldn't let them. She was too strong.

"It's... always hell," Donna whispered softly, biting down on her lip. Hyde felt almost sick as he looked at his always smiling, tough friend who never let her guard down. He knew that her family always got to her like this. But over the past few months she has grown more and more vulnerable. And now seeing her like this... it made him want to help her more than anything.

Hyde placed his hand on her shoulder and took a deep breath. She smiled weakly at him and he patted her arm, unsure what else to do.

"I know," he finally murmured and Donna sniffled as she rested her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her back and held her closer to him; like a brother. "I can't take it anymore, Hyde! It's always something... and... it's driving me insane!" Hyde nodded and stared at the Toyota in the garage. He knew what it was like to watch family fall apart; hell he was the cause! and he didn't wan tanyone else to go through what he went through. But now Donna was and trying to help her was the least he could do.

"Tell them that. They have to focus on their daughters. They're tearing you up and tearing your family apart because they're preoccupied with themselves," Hyde told her, staring in her eyes in hopes that she'd see he was being sincere.

"They won't listen..." Hyde sighed and gripped her shoulders with a smile beginning to etch on his face.

"Make them, man! You're probably the most persuasive person I know and sometimes how you phrase things is freaky good. You aren't going to get anywhere if you don't try, Kid." Hyde told Donna who had also started to smile. "Your parents love you and your sisters, right now they're just blinded by some stupid crap that they can't get along about. You just need to be blunt with them." Donna nodded and took the final swig from her beer can. She then wrapped her arms around him in a hug and he reluctantly repeated her actions, much to her amusement.

"Hyde... seriously I don't know what I'd do without you,"

"I think you'd all be lost," Hyde teased, Donna rolled her eyes and wiped her eyes once more.

"Thank you, though. I mean it," He shrugged his shoulders and crushed his can with his fingers before tossing it in the black trash bag in his hands.

"Cool," Donna rolled her eyes and lightly slugged his harm. Laughing lightly, he glanced down at her and said, "It's not a problem, kid. I'm here... always will be." He referred to staying at the Forman's house so she could talk to him, but also as a friend. Donna smiled and nodded at Hyde before she stood up from leaning against him.

"Thank you Hyde," Donna said with a smile before glancing at the door. "I should probably go… I did tell Eric I'd be here fifteen minutes ago," Hyde chuckled and nodded, waving her off. She turned and quickly ran out of the door and he sighed heavily.

He knew Eric would have been angry if he found out that he and Donna had been talking while she could have been with him. Eric was too protective of Donna it seemed, and it really irked Hyde. He had been friends with Donna before Eric; hell her boyfriend had been afraid of her for two years! But none of that seemed to matter anymore; Donna was Eric's and that was that.

Hyde sighed heavily and walked out of the garage. As he stood in the sun he could feel the warmth absorb into his black shirt. After trying and failing to rake the leaves into the bag, he found a more effective way to finish his job; kicking. Hyde gripped the bag and swung his leg back and forth until the yellowish auburn leaves were all in the black trash bag. He tied the end in a tight knot and tossed it at the curb, then grimaced as he knocked over the Forman's trash can.

He returned to the house after properly placing the bag in the now upright can and sat at the table. Hyde smiled at Mrs. Forman who was seated next to him with a deep frown as she read through the mail. She took her glasses off and took a deep breath before glancing up at him.

"Steven, how was your first week of school?" She asked and he shrugged his shoulders. Personally, it was hell- he hated feeling like he was making teachers proud. But academically it had gone really well, which was what she wanted to hear.

"Fine," he answered nonchalantly as he stood up. He walked to the cupboards and pulled out a glass with small etched in flowers.

"Well that's what I was told, but…" she trailed off as he twisted the sink nozzle off. Hyde stared at Kitty who didn't look as worried. "I found a test of yours lying out, and you got an F." Hyde sighed and took a gulp of the tap water.

At first he thought it was a little bit ridiculous for her to be concerned about him getting an "F" on a test. For the past six years all he's received as grades are D's and F's; but he got by. But then he realized Eric probably never had an F in his life, he was a high honor student, and an "F" was probably appalling to Mr. and Mrs. Forman.

Hyde shrugged his shoulders and sat next to her, unsure of what to say. He couldn't just be like "Oh, get used to it!" but he wasn't going to lie, either. He hadn't studied, he didn't care, hell he didn't even have the history text book!

"Do you need help, I'm sure Eric…" That was the last thing he needed. He didn't need help and he didn't want it. He understood all of the history crap they were taught in school. Yet instead of telling her that, Hyde just chuckled and shook his head.

"Nah, I get it, I just was distracted," Hyde mumbled; which he had been. Hyde was introducing his friends to what he did before school- smoking in the boiler room and he had dipped into a little too much. At least for trying to take three tests. "I'll try harder though," Hyde could feel his stomach fall as he spoke. First it was actually trying in school- and now he was going to try harder?

_'What the hell is happening to me?'_ Hyde thought as he saw Mrs. Forman beam. He sank into the seat and stared at the table. He felt her hand on his shoulder and he slowly glanced up at her.

"I know you will, Steven! I am so proud of you... why don't you go study for a little bit? I'm sure your teacher will let you take the test again," Hyde slowly nodded and took a deep breath before standing up once more. He felt shaky as he hesitantly walked to Eric's bedroom. Hyde was about to study- he had never studied in his entire life... and it felt so wrong. Studying wasn't his thing. Throwing rocks at people who studied then kicking their books was his thing.

Hyde sat on Eric's bed and unzipped his friend's Spider Man book bag as he searched for the history book he knew he had. Finally he pulled out the nearly twenty pound book and groaned in annoyance. He didn't even know what chapter they were on. With the book at his side, Hyde dragged himself out of the room and back down the stairs.

Kitty was standing in the middle of the living room and looked about ready to cry with happiness. Finally she said, "if Eric is down there, you can kick him out- your studying is more important!" Hyde smiled weakly and quickly averted his eyes from the middle aged woman.

It was as if there was a weight pulling him away from the basement. Like someone was screaming at him "no! Go back!" But he couldn't; this was important for Mrs. Forman. As well as that, he had to maintain his grades in order to live with them; he was sure of that. Each clunk of his boots against the wooden stairs was like a fight of go back or keep going; as he stepped onto the linoleum the battle was won- he was studying. As he walked into the basement, Hyde was greeted by the disturbing sound of Eric and Donna sucking face and grimaced.

"Hey, take it outside, I gotta do my homework here Frenchie!" Hyde grumbled, Eric and Donna quickly broke apart and Eric started laughing sarcastically. Hyde just stared at his friend with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to reply.

"Ha ha ha, good one! Now get out," Eric hissed, Hyde's frown deepened and sat in his normal chair.

"No, I'm serious man. Your mom just found out I failed a test." He watched as both Eric and Donna's jaws dropped in awe. Donna scooted closer to him with amusement glittering in her eyes. Hyde inwardly sighed as he realized his honesty would result in a conversation.

"She yell at you?"

"No... but she said she was really disappointed and then before I knew what I was doing, I told her I'd try harder!" He grumbled angrily much to the amusement of his friends. Donna wore a wide grin and Eric's eyes were wide with mirth.

"No!" Donna cried, feigning shock. Hyde rolled his eyes and nodded.

"Yeah," he mumbled as he tossed the book on the round table in front of him. He could hear Eric and Donna both snicker as he nonchalantly flipped through the pages with a scowl. Hyde didn't understand why Eric and Donna couldn't just sneak up to his room; it's not like Kitty would hear them and Red was probably in the garage. He didn't want them to be down in the basement with him- he knew he wouldn't be able to live this down if they were.

The sound of footsteps tore Hyde's eyes from the pages and he met Mrs. Forman's gaze. He watched her quickly walk down the stairs with her ever-present smile and a plate in hand. Hyde could feel Eric and Donna's mocking grins practically burn his skin yet he chose to ignore them.

"Oh, okay, now here I brought you a sandwich to help you study." Hyde smiled softly as she handed him the small plate with the sandwich- cut into triangles.

"Oh, thanks Mrs. Forman," Hyde murmured, turning the pages section by section to make it seem like he was looking for the chapter they had just went over. But he had no clue where they were at in this book- and by the incredulous look on Eric's face, he knew this as well.

"Eric, Steven is studying, don't bother him. Why don't you and Donna go up to your bedroom?" Hyde glanced up from his book to see his friends' reactions. Donna and Eric both looked at each other eagerly and nodded. As they stood up, Eric turned and chirped, "Okay!" too excitedly before running to the stairs. Hyde raised his eyebrows at Kitty, who blushed when realizing her mistake. She quickly ran in between Eric, Donna, and the stairs and laughed nervously.

"I mean no, no, bad idea. Just go outside to a well lit, supervised area and talk politely like decent young adults!" It was Hyde's turn to grin and mock them. He sat watching the two with an amused smirk on his face and sighed happily. Donna glared at him, knowing that it was he was the one to comment on Kitty's slip-up; albeit silent.

"Gee whiz, that sounds super, mom!" Eric cried cheesily before casting a dark glare at Hyde who sat smugly with the borrowed textbook and sandwich. Hyde heard the basement door shut and Kitty quickly turned around to now talk to him. She sat on the couch beside the sixteen year old and smiled sweetly at him.

"Steven, I'm so glad that you are studying for your history class," She chirped, he smiled softly as he scanned the pages written about Classical Greece. And stared at the illustrated page. He chose to remain silent as he read the page- he didn't think Mrs. Forman would want to hear his rant on the publishing of these books. He was interested in history but he was also interested in facts; how could they know what was real or not. He smirked as she spoke.

_'Yup, sure is different,'_ Hyde thought with a sarcastic edge and chuckled to himself.

"And you probably weren't expected to study when you were living at home," Hyde scoffed at that; he didn't want Kitty to consider living with Edna his home. "Yet Red and I only want what's best for you Steven, because you really are a smart young man," He smiled softly at her words, noting that she hadn't called him "boy" like she did Eric.

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman," He simply replied; he didn't want to show that her words really did make him happy. She and Red always saw potential in him especially when he didn't see it or care. They had pressed him to try his damn hardest and if it weren't for them he probably would have dropped out of school and tried to make it on his own- whether he worked at a gas station or the streets. But the Formans cared about him, they wanted to see him do well in life and he might as well try for them.

But by the look on the woman's face he knew that she understood really felt. The simple smile on her reassured him that he didn't have to be open with them so they could understand more. He didn't want to pour his heart out to Red and Kitty- but he didn't have to. Hyde sensed that she knew how grateful he was and that he was trying to express it, but it was difficult for him. So studying and helping around the house would be his way of saying "thank you, for everything." And she got that.

Kitty leaned forward and kissed him on his temple in a nurturing manner. She then stood up and began to walk to the stairs while trying to suppress a proud grin. Hyde smiled softly at her and she began to climb up the wooden stairs to the main floor of their house. He watched as she hurried up the steps so he could be left alone to study. But he wouldn't have minded if she had decided to stay down there with him.

Hyde sighed softly and turned the page to read about Alexander the Great and grimaced. The book held the information that people wanted to know info with sugarcoated words and exaggerations in factual information. He knew a lot more underground information on nearly every topic that had been discussed in every high school class. Like that Alexander the Great had most likely been a homosexual even though he had been married. The masses didn't want people to know that information- they wanted to keep society safe.

The nearly seventeen year old began to pull the crust off of the ham sandwich that Kitty had made him. As he turned the page, Hyde nibbled on the ends of the sandwich that he had taken off. Trying to concentrate and read about ancient Greece made his head hurt- he wasn't interested in this kind of history. He didn't see the benefit of learning about an old civilization on a different continent. There was so much more history that would actually teach kids a lesson but it wasn't acceptable.

Hyde groaned softly and slammed the book shut in annoyance. He knew Kitty would be upset if he went upstairs after about ten minutes of "studying" so he leaned back in the chair and closed his eyes. His feet rested on the wooden table and his arms lay in his lap as he relaxed in the silence. Since he had been living with the Formans, he didn't exactly have time to just think and be alone.

The sound of heavy footsteps storming down the outside stairs brought Hyde from his zoned out state. He blinked and stared at the door, waiting to see who walked into the basement. A loud slam was heard and he was instantly greeted by a laughing Kelso and Fez, followed by Jackie. As they looked at Hyde, their laughter stifled, yet the idiotic duo seemed to have problems holding back their giggles.

"Hyde, we just heard the craziest thing!" Kelso cried, Fez nodded with wide eyes full of amusement. Hyde just stared silently up at the two as he waited for Kelso to continue his story. "Eric told us that you were... studying." Hyde shrugged his shoulders and bent his right knee back momentarily before kicking the large textbook towards them. He watched as their jaws dropped and he raised an eyebrow.

"And?" He asked nonchalantly, Fez snickered and Hyde rolled his eyes.

"_You_ were _studying_! Who are you and what did you do with our best friend?" Hyde smirked and shrugged his shoulders once more before standing up. Fez slowly crept over to where Hyde stood, eying the sandwich with a hungry gaze. Noticing his friend's behavior, Hyde handed Fez the sandwich, much to his delight.

"Whatever," he wasn't even going to try and explain his current and shocking actions to Fez and Kelso. Hyde knew that they wouldn't understand why he was trying to please Red and Kitty, or why he was going against everything he made himself to be. While he didn't care what they thought, he also didn't want them to continue bringing this up endlessly as usual.

Kelso ran to the deep freeze and began to search for a popsicle. The other three in the room chose to ignore the loud rustling in the freezer and continue talking.

"Hyde do you want to play ball with Kelso and I?" Fez asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and stuffed his hands in his pocket. Temptation to pull out a cigarette was strong, yet he had been trying to limit himself while living with the Formans- didn't want to get caught.

Hyde glanced over at Jackie who appeared to be staring in his direction with a small smile that was slowly growing. When he focused in on her gaze, he turned to figure out what she found so amusing and stifled back laughter. His eyes fell on Kelso who had his entire body in the large freezer and his legs flailed wildly. Hyde heard Fez and Jackie both begin to giggle and Hyde let out a small chuckle.

"Oh yeah, Kelso?" Hyde began as he slowly walked to the freezer.

"Yeah?" His friend's voice was muffled by the deep freeze. Hyde placed his hand on the door and ever so slightly began to close it.

"We're out of popsicles," Hyde informed him, then let go of the freezer door. A loud thud was heard and Kelso grunted in pain; Jackie squealed in the background and Fez began to cackle with hysterical laughter. He watched as Kelso practically flew out of the freezer and stumbled from the launch. He glared at Hyde who just looked at his frost-covered friend.

"That hurt!" Kelso cried angrily, Hyde just smirked at him and shrugged once more.

"Oh, Kelso I'm sorry but that's a third degree freezer burn!" Fez chirped happily, Jackie rolled her eyes and crossed her arms as she watched the three boys laugh and joke.

An angry Kelso grumbled, "lets go play ball," and stomped to the stairs. Hyde watched as he grabbed Jackie's hand and led her up the stairs. Fez quickly followed them at their heels, and Hyde sighed heavily. He had too much to do before he could play any games; he still wanted to clean the garage and see if Mrs. Forman needed any help cleaning. He found himself slowly walking up the stairs that led outside and was exposed to skin-prickling heat and Kelso and Fez chasing each other with the basketball.

Hyde walked passed his friends and into the garage. Turning on the light, he knew it wouldn't take him long yet with the pestering of his friends it would be difficult to just get it done with. Before he began to toss trash he opened the garage door; where Kelso, Fez, and Jackie stood with grave faces.

"What the hell, Hyde?" Kelso asked with wide eyes. "We're supposed to play ball!" He passed the basketball to Hyde who dribbled it twice then chucked it at Fez, who dropped the ball and had to chase it down the street.

"I gotta clean first," Hyde replied coolly, Kelso scoffed and sneered at Hyde.

"When do you clean?" Hyde ignored Kelso's mocking question and opened another black bag. He could feel eyes on him and he glanced to Jackie who hadn't said a word since arriving.

"Michael, you don't need Steven to play Horse. He's too busy being the Forman's servant," Hyde scowled at her snide tone and began to toss empty oil canisters into the trash bag. He heard the couple quietly bicker and finally Kelso cried out in frustration before running out to play with Fez who was trying to now balance the ball on his nose. Jackie stared at Hyde momentarily before running to the Vista Cruiser and sitting on the trunk. Hyde shook his head and scowled deeply before shifting his attention to the cluttered garage.

He started first with the trash: wrappers that they had all thrown in the corners because they were too lazy, bottles of car fluids that had already been used, empty beer and soda cans, and spilled charcoal and wood chips for the grill. Then he organized the items that Mrs. Forman kept in the garage that she wasn't sure whether to keep or not. Then he sorted Red's tools and the nails, bolts, washers, screws, and fasteners that were in a large pile.

A half hour dragged on and Hyde ignored Kelso and Fez's pleas for him to come play. They had tried to tell him he had done enough for the day and that Red would be happy with what was finished, but he knew Red. He'd say it was half-assed and tell him he had been lazy; although no one had expected him to actually clean the garage.

After nearly an hour, Hyde had cleaned everything in the garage and grouped all of the similar items so they were easier to find and put away. There was a pile of dust, dirt, and leaves that had blown in from the winds of spring and summer that he was about to sweep into the almost full garbage bag. Kelso and Fez had protested his cleaning to the point that they decided they weren't going to play until he stopped- which only made things worse for them. They glared at him from the Vista Cruiser and it only amused the sixteen year old.

Hyde ran out of the garage, much to the surprise of his friends. In reality, he was only grabbing the hose to spray the cement, yet they thought he was finished cleaning. He twisted the end of the hose to the nozzle tightly so that it wouldn't detach while he was spraying the garage floor. With the hose now gurgling and uncurling as water passed through the tube, he grabbed the end and went back to the garage.

Kelso groaned loudly when Hyde reappeared with said hose, and Fez pouted. His friends could be playing without him yet they chose to be babies, and besides they could wait about ten more minutes. Hyde stuck his middle finger inside the end of the house for higher water pressure and then smirked before pointing it at Fez and Kelso. Jackie squeaked and ran the opposite way so she wouldn't get wet, and the two boys were laughing as they were drenched with the icy water. Hyde waited for the two to run or at least move, yet they wouldn't. He hung his head low as he tilted the hose to the cement floor.

Once the cement had been completely soaked, Hyde went to turn it off. After placing the hose back in the garage, he tied the black bag and headed towards the garbage can.

"Okay, you're done cleaning the garage. Let's play some ball!" Kelso cried enthusiastically, still dripping from head to toe.

"Hang on man, I gotta take out the trash," Hyde answered, swinging the bag over his shoulder before walking to the curb. He saw Eric returning from Donna's house with wrinkled clothes and a flushed face and he shook his head. Eric grinned at him and ran up the driveway to stand next to Fez and Kelso.

"You know Hyde, seeing you work hard and take pride in what you do, I've lost a lot of respect for you man." Hyde rolled his eyes and ignored his friend's comment once again.

"You used to be my hero, my lazy American hero." Fez added, much to the annoyance of Hyde. Why couldn't they get over him trying to help out the Formans? Eric was lazy and always argued whenever he was asked to do something- and the chores weren't that hard at all. They needed the help since they were busy and he needed to pay them back somehow.

"Don't listen to them Hyde, I think it's great you're doing all my chores." Hyde rolled his eyes at his brother's remark. Of course he'd love it- he didn't have to do a damn thing. While Hyde loved helping the Formans, he didn't want to help Eric weasel out of busting his ass around here, too.

"Wow, Eric! Great job on the garage!" Hyde tensed as he heard Red's exclamation as he stood in the cleaned room. He slowly turned to Eric, unsure what to expect his friend to say. Would he tell Red who really did it, or would he try to impress his father? Hyde grimaced, having a good idea as to how this would turn out.

"Thanks," Hyde sent a dark glare towards Eric as he spoke. Eric caught his glare and took a deep breath before closing his eyes. Hyde was getting really sick of Eric. As he glowered at his friend, he felt like pushing him off a cliff or running him over with the Vista Cruiser... or something. It wouldn't happen, yet he was tired of his bull.

"Hyde did it," Eric finally murmured, and Hyde relaxed slightly. He caught Red's smirk and nodded back.

"Yeah well, I should've known. It's actually clean. Nice going." Red dug in his pocket and pulled out his wallet. After sorting through a few dollar bills, the older man held out a ten and a five. Hyde took a deep breath and reluctantly took the money from him. He didn't want to take their money, they needed it, but he had a feeling Red wouldn't let him decline. It had been ages since the garage had been cleaned.

Yet what amused Hyde was watching Eric hold out his hand after Hyde pocketed the fifteen dollars. Red seemed to feel the same, because the grin on his face was priceless.

"What did you do?" Red gruffly asked his son

"I… love you?" Eric suggested with a questioning tone. Red laughed and patted his son's shoulder.

"Well, I love you too." Red replied before walking back to the sliding doors. It was Eric's turn to glare and Hyde shrugged; he could have helped out instead of leaving hickeys on Donna.

"Well, that's a fair price. You got him to say he loved you," Hyde mumbled, Eric furrowed his brows and Hyde just stood there, unsure what to do.

Hyde watched as the orange basketball bounced from Kelso's grip onto his boot. Hyde picked up the ball and held it momentarily before chucking it once more in the street. Fez ran to retrieve it and Kelso held his hands on his hips.

"Will you two stop bickering like an old couple and play ball?" He cried angrily. Hyde and Eric both glanced at each other and took a deep breath before reluctantly walking up to their impatient and angry friend.

* * *

Hyde sighed angrily as he held the glass in his hand. He could feel his hand tremble from the pressure of his grip on the cup and he unclenched his teeth. The conversation at dinner had irked him to no end. He had actually been proud of himself for getting a C on that test, and Red and Kitty seemed pleased as well.

But what really bothered him were Laurie and Eric. How they could just sit at the table and bicker... he didn't understand. He agreed with Red; he had just wanted a nice, quiet dinner. He hadn't ever thought of Eric being immature or irresponsible, he got them out of so much trouble, but ever since he moved in with the Formans, he understood exactly why Red pushed him so much.

Hyde set the glass in the empty side of the sink just as the door to the refrigerator was shut. He turned and saw Eric open a carton of milk and lean against the counter next to Fez and Kelso. Hyde went back to the dishes, now picking up a plate and scrubbing lightly.

"You almost done there, Hazel?" Eric mocked. Hyde felt his body tense as he froze momentarily before taking in a deep breath. Fez and Kelso both started to laugh and Hyde bit down hard on his bottom lip.

"See, that's funny, 'cause Hazel's a maid!" Kelso cried in between laughs. Hyde blinked at his friend with a look tha tcould have easily been read as "back off."

"Or you could call him Alice, too!" Hyde glared at Fez as he lifted the scurbber above his head. While it didn't appear threatening, Hyde could turn just about any object into a weapon of some sort.

"Shut up, Fez!" Hyde growled menacingly; Fez retreated next to Kelso with a dejected look upon his face.

"Oh yes, you look so tough with that scrubber in your hand!" Fez added, wincing as Hyde began to lower it.

"Yeah and you look so tough hiding behind another guy," Hyde grumbled to himself as he continued to wash the dishes.

"Yeah, Hyde... mom and dad aren't even here; you're kissing phantom butt!" Hyde laughed quietly, more angry than anything. Wringing his hands, he turned slowly and stared at Eric with raised eyebrows. He didn't want to hear Eric's sarcastic yapping anymore today; he didn't get why he continued to talk and tease him with hints of jealousy. If he was jealous, why didn't he do something about it?

"You know what, Forman?" Hyde began, much tot he amusement of Kelso and Fez. Tension permeated the air however, and Hyde knew Eric was practically choking on it. "I sued to think Red was a real hard ass. But after doing your chores for the past five days, I've come to the conclusion that you're just a lazy, spoiled brat." He could hear Kelso and Fez laugh nervously as they stared at their two friends like they were in the middle of a Texas showdown.

"Ohh!" They cried in excitement, watching with eyes wide as if they were in a candy store.

"Hazel never talked like that!" Hyde scowled yet continued to stare at Eric, waiting for him to respond.

"Hey, that's not fair! You've only done them for what, five days? Try sixteen years!" Eric cried angrily and Hyde sighed softly. Pressing his fingertips to his temple, his stance relaxed and he softened his expression.

"You know... I'm just grateful, Forman-"

"Aww!" Kelso and Fez chorused in unison.

"Shut up!"/ "Get bent!" Eric and Hyde both exclaimed furiously at the same time. They turned back to each other, ignoring their friends snickering and tittering quietly.

"Well, stop... you're making me looking bad," Eric mumbled quietly which caused Hyde to scoff in annoyance.

"Plus you've become a total drag to hang out with," Hyde sent his nearly murderous glower in Kelso's direction.

"Hey, whatever happened to the psychotic trouble-maker we all know and love? Look, put down the dishes and start doing something stupid and senseless right now!" Eric barked with a smile on his face. Hyde chuckled as he shook his head.

"Forman, I'm a guest here! I'm not gonna-"

"Fine! I guess I will have to do something stupid!" Eric interrupted him, Kelso hopped up from the stool he had been sitting on and stumbled. Hyde watched as he jumped up and down repeatedly in excitement.

"I know something stupid we can do! You've got a bowling ball?"

Hyde felt his stomach sink. No matter what Kelso with a bowling ball was no good. The countless injuries they all had received in one way or another were proof of this. But Eric was determined. As Eric nodded, Kelso's grin widened. "Okay, go get it and meet me in the living room." Hyde sighed and gazed at Eric, hoping he would actually think about what he was about to do.

"Forman, don't do-"

"Why not? You're just being chicken and I'm sick of it! It's either me or you, Hyde." The sixteen year old remained silent and watched as Eric ran tot he garage. Obviously, Eric was envious of him and he had no clue why. But now Eric was acting like a dumbass and would wind up in some kind of trouble he didn't deserve. But... it was his choice after all.

Eric ran passed Hyde and into the living room with the ten pound ball. Hyde hesitantly followed him after much consideration.

"-So you'll stand on the couch and hold the ball above your head and then drop it on the couch cushion!" Eric grinned as he hopped on the couch, listening to Kelso.

"Hold it by the thumb hole!" Fez added. Hyde stood in the doorway, his stomach twisting as he fought himself- just watch or try and stop it?

"Forman, I don't think you should do this..." Hyde trailed off; it was odd for him of all people to try and talk his friends out of something dangerous. He always laughed at their backfired antics. But he just knew this wasn't going to turn out well at all and he didn't want Eric to get in any trouble.

He heard feet pad against the floor an met eyes with Donna and Jackie. They were probably curious as to what the hell was going on upstairs. Hyde gave them a short nod and turned back to Eric.

"Don't be a baby, we just wanna see how high it'll bounce. Nothing bad will happen," Kelso tried to reassure Hyde. Hyde glanced over as Donna scoffed and he exhaled deeply while shaking his head. Jackie shook her head as well and wore an incredulous look on her face. Eric took the bowling ball and held it over his head, much to the shock of the girls.

"Forman man, think! You're listening to Kelso... don't do this!" Eric jerked his head to face Hyde with a blaze of anger in his eyes.

"Wait, wait, now you're telling me what to do? This is bull sh-"

"Enough talk, do it already!" Fez yelled anxiously as he anticipated Forman's act of stupidity.

Hyde watched, knowing exactly what would happen as the bowling ball dropped from Eric's hands and onto the cushion. From there it bounced on the floor- into the television. The sound of shattering glass filled the air as the television screen flew in all directions throughout the living room. Gasps filled the room and Hyde just sated at Eric with a look that simply read "I told you so."

"Oh... see, I hadn't thought of that... later!" Kelso cried before zooming out of the house. Fez laughed nervously and began to step towards the kitchen door.

"Thank you," he mumbled shakily then followed Kelso to the glass doors. Eric and Hyde both turned to Donna and Jackie who were both wide eyed and biting their lips- either in nervousness or trying not to laugh; Hyde couldn't tell.

Finally Jackie snapped out of her daze and laughed quietly. "See ya!" she squeaked before scampering into the kitchen as well.

"Bye!" Donna called giving a wave before running out the front door. Eric looked over at Hyde as he still stood on the couch. The youngerof the two shook his head and kicked a rather large shard of glass.

"Ahh... maybe they won't notice," Hyde barked sarcastically and headed toward the stairs. As he began to ascent the carpeted steps, he heard Eric cry out.

"Hyde, wait!" He turned and saw Eric on the bottom row of steps.

"Get bent!" He hissed acidly while climbing up the last few stairs before entering Eric's room.

While he sat on his cot, he heard footsteps pacing as they walked back and fortha t the door. Hyde shook his head and pulled out the lighter from his pocket.

He knew Eric was angry and jealous of Hyde, but he didn't understand why. He was an orphan who had been abandoned by his druggie parents who hadn't ever given a fuck about him. Now he was trying to show his gratitude towards his current guardians. There was nothing to be jealous of. He wasn't trying to make Red and Kitty view him in a better light than Eric; he just wanted them to be proud of the orphan that they had took in.

"Hyde can we talk?" Eric asked as he now stood in the doorway of their bedroom. Hyde dropped the lighter and rested his back against the edge of Eric's bed.

"If you mean 'we' as in you, go ahead." Hyde mumbled. Eric sat in front of him on the floor and sighed.

"I know it was dumb of me to do that but... I feel like you're my parents favorite now." Hyde just laughed at Eric who almost sounded like he was whining. God he was immature sometimes.

"What're you gonna do, cry?" Hyde answered sarcastically as he smirked. Yet when he saw Eric scowl and darken his expression, Hyde groaned in annoyance. "God, lighten up man, it was a joke." Eric shook his head and looked at Hyde.

"Is it?" Eric finally asked. "I mean, I'm not gonna cry, but are you trying to be the favorite?" Hyde remained silent as he waited for Eric to finish his monologue of the day. "Because it really seems like you're-"

"Forman, get it through your head; I'm grateful. I'm not gonna try to piss off your parents like I did with Edna, I actually care about them," Hyde slipped, much to the surprise and amusement of Eric.

"You care about someone? Does that mean you care about me, too?" Eric cried with mock excitement. Hyde rolled his eyes and scoffed while he stared at his lighter.

"Anyway, I just want to help them out. I'm not trying to be their favorite." He finished, ignoring Eric as he formed hearts with his hands and laughed at Hyde. "Will you shove off?" Hyde finally snapped, Eric's smile faded yet he still chuckled.

"I'm considering this the first apology I've ever received from you," Eric chirped from the floor. Hyde raised his foot and kicked his head with a slight force.

"First and last," Hyde grumbled, smirking at his de-facto brother.

* * *

Hyde couldn't stand to listen to Eric fumble with his words. Red's anger had even gotten to him. After all Eric had busted their television and if Red was pissed about a broken glass, then this was like the A-bomb. Hyde tuned out Red as he continued to yell at his son about how irresponsible he was and why he would allow this to happen. It had been Eric's fault and he should have to hear the lecture, not Hyde; he had tried to stop him.

Yet Hyde knew Eric would give in like a young child to his father. And Red was always a bit harsh on Eric. Although Hyde was still pissed at his roommate, he knew that he couldn't allow him to turn into a baby. He didn't want to put up with the crying whimp tonight.

"Well, i-it took a r-really weird hop..." Eric stammered nervously, his hands trembled as he spoke. Red sighed angrily and shook his head in disgust.

"Why would you drop a bowling ball on the couch? What good could come of it?" Red practically shouted, Hyde felt his body tense a little at Red's raised voice.

"Well, okay, hindsight being-"

"Eric! I don't wanna hear any more of your dumbass excuses! This is the most irresponsible, idiotic thing you have ever done!" Hyde felt his stomach twist as Red continued to yell at his son. He hated yelling and he could put a stop to it. Taking a deep breath, Hyde cleared his throat and took a step up to stand next to Eric.

"Actually Red, I did it." Three pairs of eyes fell upon him in shock. Eric's face had turned nearly paper white and Kitty shook her head; her silent way of telling him that taking the blame was a horrible idea for Hyde. Yet Forman couldn't take the yelling as much as Hyde could, and he got yelled at enough as it was.

"You?" Red asked in disbelieving fury. The man took a shaky breath and took a step closer to Hyde who had braced himself for the worst, and Eric noticed this.

"No, no, no. Dad! Hyde's just covering for me! I did it!" Eric cried, looking at Hyde with wide eyes.

"Hey Forman, stop. Red, it was me-"

"No, it was me!" The two had continued to argue back and forth about it, each giving each other glares and scowls as well.

"Well, guess what? I don't care! You're both idiots! And if you have to get a job digging ditches, you are going to buy me a new T.V. ! Now, get out of my sight!" Hyde took a breath of relief and relaxed his stiff stance. Eric gave a nod to his dad and had started to regain the color in his face.

"Yes sir!" He cried, glad to get off on little punishment. Hyde watched him high tail it up the stairs and he nodded as well.

"Alright," Hyde mumbled, not catching Red's stern eye. When he finally glanced up once more, he saw the angry look in the man's eye and quickly recovered. "Sir." He finished before following Eric up the stairs.

When he stepped into the room they shared, he was met by a furiously pacing Eric. Hyde closed the door and leaned against it, unsure of what to do. Eric turned to him, shook his head, and continued pacing.

"Man, what the hell was that?" He cried finally, Hyde shrugged his shoulders. "Why would you try to take the blame?" When Hyde shrugged once more, Eric shook his head and stomped towards Hyde. The sixteen year old froze, actually feeling slightly threatened by the angry Eric in front of him. "No, don't give me that, Hyde! You were just angry at me for breaking the TV, wouldn't you want me to get in trouble? What the hell was that down there?" Hyde sighed and shuffled his feet.

"I dunno, I just didn't want you to get yelled at I guess, no big deal, Forman," He answered coolly. Eric furrowed his eyebrows and then collapsed on his bed, still staring at Hyde.

"Not even two hours ago you would have been happy to see me get my ass kicked!" Hyde shook his head shortly.

"Nah, just yelled at," Eric held up his hands in exasperation.

"My point! So why did you try to cover for me?" Hyde shook his head before sitting on his cot once again, this time pulling the blankets up over his lap.

"I don't know! I just didn't think it was... fair... I dunno..." He trailed off, lying down on the comfortable bed. Eric turned off the main light and flicked the switch to the small lamp on his bedstand. Hyde took off his sunglasses and set them next to his pillow, and was met by the grinning face of Eric. Hyde backed away slowly and just looked at him in confusion.

"What?" He grunted, resting his head on the cool side of the pillow. Eric's cheshire cat grin grew even wider and Hyde rolled his eyes.

"You do care." Eric sang softly, Hyde shook his head and closed his eyes, ignoring Forman's quiet laughter. "Aww you do have feelings in there after all!"

"Liar." Hyde mumbled, half of his mouth pressed against the pillow. Eric chuckled and continued to stare at him.

"Face it, Hyde, you have a heart after all, and it's full of love for your amazing older brother!" Hyde shook his head and pulled the covers to cover his head.

"Will you shut up?" He cried yet his voice was muffled by the pillow case.

"Hey, you be nice to me! Be grateful!" Slowly, Hyde reached under the cot for his nearly too small pair of boots he had received from his uncle. Feeling the leather against his callused hand, he slowly pulled up the shoe and smirked. Eric was now setting his alarm clock and wasn't paying attention. Chucking the boot, Hyde heard a loud thud, an "oomph!" and he chuckled.

"Grateful for what, sharing a room with my sister?" Hyde teased Eric before closing his eyes once more. This time he ignored Eric's rant of how he hated people calling him a girl and slowly felt himself drifting off to sleep.


	53. Never Too Late

_**Author's Note: Hello all! I'm terribly sorry that this has taken me so long to update. I really need to get a move on with "Face" as well. Anywho, I just wanted to apologize for my absence from my stories and I promise that in the next few weeks there will be more updates from me. School is almost over so once that happens and before I get a job there will be a constant flow of updates from me. **_

_**I will let you know that part of this chapter is heavy/dark/violent, but it's mostly sweet. It's a very sweet bittersweet chapter. And I know there will be at least one person who likes the end. :) **_

_**I want to say thank you to: twiniitowers, nannygirl, MistyMountainHop, antra, SouthernStarryEyes, reviewgirl191, as well as you other awesome people out there! You guys encourage me to keep writing and you're all awesome :). Thank you so much for your constant support and I'm so glad that you are still liking this story.**_

_**In fact, right now this chapter goes out to MistyMountainHop who is in dire need of a dedication chapter. As well as being an awesome reviewer, she is a great person who is awesome to talk to, she has helped me with future chapters, has given me advice on the story, and we just talk a lot! She is totally awesome and has this wicked comic on deviantart that is incredible. You should check that out. She even made one for the April Fool's Day prank I pulled on some of the board members... which if you had an account you would see what I did! (in sing song voice) But in her revenge, she made this incredibly hilarious comic based on what I did and it's just awesome. But all of her comics are awesome so there :). But you should really check them out!**_

_**Sorry for my rambling. Hope you all had an awesome Easter! And I hope you enjoy this chapter!**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie. **_

_**Lisa, this one is for you!**_

* * *

_This world will never be what I expected. And if I don't belong, who would've guessed it? I will not leave alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late. Even if I say "it'll be all right," still I hear you say you want to end your life. Now and again we try to just stay alive. Baby we'll turn it all around, 'cause it's not too late, it's never too late. No one will ever see this side reflected. And if there's something wrong, who would've guessed it? And I have left alone everything that I own to make you feel like it's not too late, it's never too late... _

"Hyde!"

"Steven! Wake up!" Both Kitty and Eric sang shrilly in the bright morning. Hyde grumbled incoherently in his sleep and turned on his other side away from them.

"Today is a very special day!" Kitty cried, tapping his shoulder incessantly.

He didn't care, he just wanted to sleep. It was Friday and they had the day off today- he was going to sleep as much as possible. Which didn't seem like much these days.

Hyde suddenly jerked and wriggled on his cot when feeling Mrs. Forman tickle him. He tried his hardest not to laugh but failed miserably, much to the amusement of the mother and son trying to wake him. Trying to wriggle away from her only resulted in Hyde getting caught in the blankets; he had no other choice but to wake up. After all he didn't want to be tickled to death.

"Happy birthday, Steven!" Kitty cried happily before kissing his cheek. Hyde smiled softly and rubbed his tired eyes.

This wasn't the first birthday where he woke up at the Forman's house. He could remember every year since he was twelve Eric had "secretly" arranged for him to stay the night so he'd wake up with a cake and streamers and hats. While he didn't ask for parties and they didn't necessarily give him the whole shebang with a theme and tons of people, they had given him the cake, ice cream, and made him blow out the candles. That had always been nice. But he knew that since he was living with them, they were going to try their hardest to make it the best day ever for him.

"What would you like for breakfast?" Mrs. Forman asked him. Hyde stared at the door and blinked with hazy eyes. He didn't expect her to make him birthday meals or get him presents, or anything of the sort. Already they had done more than Edna had ever given him. With them, he didn't even care if they remembered his birthday; but that was out of the question. He was living with the Formans, anyone's birthday was made special- even Fez's.

"Whatever you're cooking," Kitty laughed and stood off of his cot while shaking her head.

"I knew you would say that, so Eric told me what he thought you would like." Hyde raised an eyebrow at Eric who looked proud of himself.

"Okay," Hyde mumbled. Not that it mattered but Eric had probably asked for his favorite breakfast. Hyde didn't even have a specific favorite meal. Anything Mrs. Forman cooked was more than amazing- and that was an understatement. When he lived with Edna he went three days without eating anything most of the time. And if he did eat it was usually a dry half sandwich of bread and butter, or noodles with salt. If he was lucky he'd have a stale bag of potato chips. So he didn't give a damn about what Kitty cooked- he just wanted food.

"I'm going to make you a cake too, Steven. What kind do you want?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders. He could remember all of the different cakes Kitty had made him for his birthday since he was twelve in the exact order; a yellow cake with chocolate frosting, chocolate cake with chocolate frosting, confetti cake with vanilla frosting, a carrot cake, and a red velvet cake. Every year she made it something different and bought a half gallon of ice cream, or if she had the time she made it herself.

Hyde didn't know what to say, it was always her decision, so he just shrugged his shoulders. Kitty sighed softly and turned to her biological son.  
"Eric, why don't you and Steven go to the store and get the ingredients for his cake, oh... can you pick up a new jar of peanut butter, too?" She asked the two boys. Reluctantly they nodded and Kitty kissed both of them on their foreheads before skipping out of the room.

Eric followed his mom out the door after grabbing his wallet. Hyde was left alone once more. As he yawned, he considered falling back asleep but he had to go help Eric at the grocery store. He didn't know why, though. He didn't care about a birthday cake or having anything special. He didn't need the dorky candles or to blow them out- the one thing he had wished for since he was a little boy had come true. But Mrs. Forman would take "no" for an answer so he didn't have a choice.

Hyde wriggled out of his thin white muscle tee and tossed it in his laundry pile. The last time Hyde had tried to combine his and Eric's clothes, Eric practically had a cow. All Hyde had done was put a pair of his jeans in with Eric's clothes and all hell broke loose. So now they had separate laundry baskets. After searching through his small dresser for clothes, he finally settled for a black Led Zeppelin shirt and the newest pair of jeans he owned- they were bought a year ago from the Goodwill, already faded and frayed.

After forcing his feet into the now tight fitting boots his uncle had given him almost three years ago, Hyde slipped on his sunglasses and headed out the door. He walked down the carpeted hallway and to the stairs. Already at the head of the steps he could hear Kitty happily singing in the kitchen and new he needed to expect a Brady Bunch-like scene. As he hurried down the stairs, the sound of the skillet sizzling and pots clattering against each other, he sighed softly.

Hyde knew birthdays in the Forman household were always a fuss. Kitty would go out of her way to make it the best birthday ever. Then somehow she would find a way to make it that much better the next year. It was sort of like a contest to her. While Hyde thought it was nice (more like freaking awesome) he didn't want anything big. He thought the whole "birthday boy special" was pushing it. Though he was looking forward to the cookies Kitty had hinted about making.

As soon as he walked into the kitchen, Kitty pushed him to the table and forced him to sit down. Eric snickered while Laurie rolled her eyes in annoyance.

"We didn't do this for my birthday, why is Hyde so special?" The twenty year old drawled with a sneer.

"Because you were celebrating on your own," Eric answered as a smirk grew on his face. "Probably in a dark cave, blowing flesh candles of your own!" Her younger brother finished with a smug smile. Hyde grinned and nodded his head; he loved to hear their childish bickering.

"Eric Albert!" Kitty cried in disbelief. She knew more of what her daughter and her son(s) did than she let on. Hyde's amused expression faded after hearing her scolding tone. She probably didn't want her only (physical) daughter's hobbies discussed during breakfast. "Be thankful your father isn't in here!"

The two teenage boys high-fived under the table so Kitty wouldn't see.

"Better than riding ponies," Laurie replied coolly, Hyde raised an eyebrow and smirked once more.

"Nice," Hyde told her, much to Eric's surprise.

"Hyde!" Eric half cried, half whined.

"What?" The now seventeen year old asked. He hadn't done anything wrong. Just like Kelso he appreciated a good burn. While it was definitely weak and Eric's was by far better than hers, Laurie had still brought up his sixteenth birthday party, which had been the topic for nearly the entire summer before their junior year of high school.

"Don't worry Eric," Laurie began with a sneer as she stared directly at Hyde. He was ready for this. "That's better than watching your mom come home in her birthday suit on every birthday. Am I right, Hyde?" He shrugged his shoulders and tried not to chuckle at her feeble attempt on angering him.

"Laurie!" Kitty exclaimed from the stove. Her eyes were wide as she looked at her three nearly grown children.

Hyde heard Red enter the kitchen. Eric cringed when his parents kissed gingerly and Hyde just shook his head. Eric had walked in on them having sex and he was grossed out by a kiss? Hyde had seen him mom sprawled out on the couch naked more times than he saw her clothed and that was cringe worthy.

"Steven, how hungry are you?" Kitty asked while Red poured himself a cup of coffee.

"Not too hungry," he answered, watching as Mrs. Forman nodded in understanding. She was used to his codes by now and piled an odd looking pancake on the plate, with two scoops of cheesy scrambled eggs, and two slices of cinnamon and sugar toast which was cut into triangles.

"Thanks..." Hyde trailed off as he stared at the folded, thin pancake-like things. "But uh... what are those?" He asked quietly, pointing to the strawberry filled entree.

"They're crepes, Steven. Eric you asked Steven, right?" Hyde glared at Forman who wore a smug grin aimed at his foster brother. The younger of the two shook his head and stabbed his fork into one of the strawberries.

"Surprise!" Eric cried in a sing-song voice. Hyde chuckled and glanced at Eric once more before he continued eating. He would have done the very same thing.

* * *

"Hyde, seriously, what do you want?" Eric asked angrily as they stood in the baking aisle of the grocery store. Hyde furrowed his eyebrows as he stared at the different ingredients needed to make various desserts. Suddenly, he turned to Eric and grinned.

"Beer." Hyde answered, which caused Eric to roll his eyes even though a smile crept on his face.

"Oh, mom would love that," Hyde grinned and nodded as he pulled down a sack of flour and cocoa.

"Let me guess, devil's food?" Hyde snickered to himself as he came up with a decent burn in his mind after hearing Eric's half question, half statement.

"I'm not eating Laurie, or a food that's named-"

"Oh Hyde, c'mon that's sick!" Hyde tried to suppress his laughter as Eric shuddered and winced at the very thought. As funny as it was, Hyde even found his comment repulsive- to imagine exactly what he meant almost made him cringe. He considered apologizing but thought against it, it was too hilarious.

Ignoring Eric's harsh glare, Hyde began to search for the ingredients he knew were in German chocolate cake frosting. When spotting the pecans and coconut, Hyde tossed the bags into the basket that Eric held.

"Aw, really? German chocolate is nasty!" The older boy whined, Hyde narrowed his eyes at his friend and shook his head, leading the two out of the baking aisle.

"Yeah? Well it's my birthday!" Hyde taunted. He had never actually used his birthday to get his way. Eric, Jackie, and Kelso did it every year as far back as Hyde could remember. He heard Eric grumble about 'special treatment' and Hyde scoffed, walking to the liquor section.

"Wait, Hyde..." The seventeen year old gave Eric a look that immediately hushed all protesting and opened his brown leather wallet that was faded. He quickly picked out five different licenses and showed them all to Eric. Each one had the same exact photo, but five different names and the date of 1953 as his year of birth rather than 1959.

"So you're... Alan Sheppard, Richard Shaft-"

"Get it?" Eric chuckled and flipped over the next ID.

"John Olsen, and Aberforth Wilhelm?" Hyde nodded after receiving a questioning look from his de-facto brother. "How the hell did you come up with that one?" Hyde only shrugged and pocketed the licenses, keeping the John Olsen one in his wallet.

"So... Formy, what do you want?" Hyde's arm outstretched to display the aisles of nearly all kinds of alcohol. Hyde watched as his friend's face lit up as he realized what his fake Ids meant exactly- they could "legally" buy beer.  
"This is a dream come true!" Eric cried as he picked up a case of Pabst, while Hyde tucked a twenty four pack of Budweiser under his arm. "Hyde you are officially the best brother, ever!" Once more, his shoulders shrugged and he coughed lightly. The constant effect of all the years he smoked.

"So here's what we'll do. You go to a register with the baking stuff, I'll go buy the beer, got it?" Hyde asked Eric, who nodded slowly as if he were waiting for Hyde to continue. "And Forman?" Hyde finally asked as the older of the two began to walk away. "Get your favorite ice cream," Eric beamed and looked at Hyde as if he were an A class celebrity.

"You rock!" Hyde rolled his eyes and walked out of the designated alcohol aisle. His fingers dug into the top of the case, which created a cardboard handle. That was better than tucking it under his arm and hoping it didn't fall.

Hyde had been buying beer since he was thirteen. At first it was at the gas station where his mom's dealer worked. But then he got his fake ID's so he could go anywhere and get Edna's favorite beer or whiskey. Here he was now, buying it for himself; just one more year and it would be legal.

He gave a brief nod to the middle-aged cashier who eyed him up and down skeptically. Hyde handed her his fake license nonchalantly and flipped through the wad of one dollar bills he had "borrowed" from Kelso.

"That'll be $10.72," the woman told him gruffly. He set down eleven dollars and watched as she had to calculate his change back on her fingers. Grimacing, Hyde closed his wallet and gave her a small smile.

"Keep the change," he mumbled, gripping the two cases around their handles.

He glanced along the different checkouts as he waited for Eric. He didn't want him to get distracted by something stupid, like a magazine or a Pez dispenser that could possibly be shaped like Darth Vader. He just wanted to get home and drink the beer in his hands.

A pair of arms suddenly wrapped around his waist tightly and he jumped in shock. He heard a small, familiar voice and immediately he softened.

"Stevie!" The five year old boy cried, grinning toothily. Hyde mirrored the grin as he caught sight of the small shaggy haired, red headed boy. He noted the shadows on his face and the six missing teeth; six at once didn't seem usual. Hyde's stomach fell as he saw the baggy long sleeved sweatshirt that he wore as well; he knew exactly what that was for.

"Hey Max," Hyde greeted, watching as his older brother by three years, James, slowly walked up to them. "James, how've you been? God it's been ages." Hyde was fifteen the last time he saw James, Max, and their oldest brother, Sean who was now probably fourteen or fifteen himself. They were Molly's sons and he had watched over them while Will and Edna took care of their "business."

"Hyde, I'm..." James trailed off with his ever-present stutter. Hyde's smile faded as he saw the fading bruises along his face. It was like looking at himself, mirroring every age that he had been abused. From five to eight, he was looking at two boys who were going through the same exact thing he had been. And he knew, but he hadn't given a single thought about their well-being. He had forgotten about them.

"Pa sent us out for awhile," Max rattled with his high pitched voice. Hyde knew the younger boy wouldn't have problems telling him what James had tried but failed to say. Like he had when he was five. "Things ain't good no more. I'm scared."

"Where's Sean?" Hyde asked. He remembered when they were younger, him and Sean, they would sit in one of their bedrooms and compare scars and bruises like they were war badges. They were around the same age and went through the same things at the same time, while they didn't talk about it, each of them knew what was going on.

"Gettin' some bandages," James answered softly, catching Hyde's attention. "P-Pa he g-got mad and s-started hitting M-mama. A-and we tried to s-stop him. Then Abby she... she started to c-cry and Pa got real mad." Hyde bit his lip as he listened to the eight year old try to tell him a little bit of what happened.

"What did he do?" He asked softly, knowing that showing he cared would be the way to get them to talk. That's all he ever wanted as a child. As James opened his mouth, he closed it abruptly and stared passed Hyde with curious eyes. Hyde turned and saw Eric staring at him curiously.

"Hyde?" His foster brother asked him nervously, "what're you doing?" He sighed softly and stood up, Max was still holding on to him.

"Forman, remember Abby?" He asked, waiting for his friend to either answer. When he nodded, Hyde continued, "these are her older brothers James," he paused, pointing at the pale boy with mousy brown hair. "And Max," he glanced down to acknowledge the boy who was much too small for his age. Eric's eyes immediately saw the darkened bruises on their skin and stood stock still, unsure of what to do.

"Cool," he mumbled, "you ready to go?" Hyde sighed and looked at the two boys. Their eyes shone with fear and silent pleas that the older teens recognized from long ago. "Or I'll just take this home..."

"Yeah, that'd be cool, man." Hyde murmured, smiling gratefully at Eric. "Can you take this? And tell Kitty I'll be home in awhile and I'm not skipping out on tonight," Eric chuckled and nodded, giving a wave before quickly exiting the grocery store.

"Who's he?" Max immediately asked, Hyde sighed and bent down once more to be eye level with the young boys.

"He's my brother," He told them. It was the best way to describe Eric; he didn't want to confuse them with the details, they were just little kids.

"But Chris would be my age!" James cried suddenly, which shocked Hyde. "He's too old!" He stared at James and slowly nodded, his breath still caught in his throat. He had no clue that Molly's children knew about Chris. Molly of course knew, but he didn't understand how they found out.

"Yeah he would be," he murmured softly, feeling a slight sting in his heart at that realization. Actually he'd be six, going on seven. But Chris and James would probably be friends either way. "Eric is one of my friends," he answered once more, hoping that they wouldn't ask why he went from "brother" to "friend." But they didn't; they didn't have time to.

"Jimmy, Max, what the hell are you-" Hyde spun his head around and stared up at a boy with scraggly brown hair. He had a shining black eye and a fat lip, with cigarette burns and other cuts marking all over his arms.

"Sean?" Hyde asked, standing up. He found that he was still a good three inches taller than the younger boy. Hyde watched as Sean took a step back and stared at him in awe.

"Hyde? Holy shit, man!" The two old friends shook hands and smirked at each other, shocked to see one another after so many years.

It was like staring at himself from years before. Now with a fourteen year old version of himself in Sean. Strong, defiant, and trying to act as if nothing was wrong yet knew everything was messed up. They needed his help.

"Can you tell me what's going on?" Hyde asked, taking off his sunglasses. Sean laughed softly and shook his head, scrunching his nose as if he had just snorted a line.

"Nah, man, nothing! It's all good. They're just..."

"That's bullshit, Sean. Look at them, look at you! What did Will do to you guys?" Hyde and Sean were a lot alike, that was easy to tell. Sean had seemed to build a wall of his own, laugh off everything as if it was all just a joke. Act like nothing mattered. But Hyde could see right through the mask- hell it was obvious something was going on.

"Look, dad just got... a little upset, but he had good reason." Hyde scoffed and felt James rest his head against Hyde's arm.

"What? You lose his crack? You finish off the last beer?" Sean's eyes lowered and he remained silent. "How'd you get here?"

"I drove," Hyde chuckled and nodded, holding out his hand.

"Hand me the keys, I'll drive you guys home." Sean glared at him and took a step back, his dark hood falling from his head. He was a lot more gaunt than Hyde expected.

"Shove off, we don't need you, man!" Sean growled, grabbing Max's shoulder. The five year old whimpered and held on to Hyde tighter; a perfect example of why Hyde was needed.

"Chill, I'm just taking you home, that's all. Come on," Reluctantly, Sean handed him the set of keys and stomped in front of Hyde in an angry huff, leading him to the car.

"You gonna help us?" James asked quietly, Hyde nodded with a sad smile.  
"You bet." The grin that spread on the young boys' faces was priceless. He was going to save them, no matter what happened.

He expected this of Will. After the countless times he saw Molly stand like a skeleton with black, red and blue skin as if she were born that way. Now he was taking his anger out on his children, like what Bud ended up doing, as well as Edna. He was there a few times when Sean was beaten, hiding in the closet in hopes that Will wouldn't go looking for him. Now he could imagine Max hiding while James was hit, only to be found and punched for not listening to his dear old dad.

But he had started to hurt Abby too? She was what... two or three years old? Will took it to a whole new level of disgusting. Even Hyde wasn't abused that young. It had started when he was five, just a simple backhand to his cheek. Then kicking and punching. Hopefully he didn't hurt Abby too much, yet he could only imagine the sickening things Will would do to Abby, as well as his three sons.

Hyde sat in the driver's seat of their beaten up Oldsmobile. He turned the ignition and pumped the gas to try and get the car to start. The engine rattled and wheezed yet finally came to life. He glanced behind him to make sure the younger boys were buckled, then at Sean, who was digging in the glove compartment.

He would usually drive out of any parking lot at 55 miles an hour. Yet with the two little ones in the back he decided it was best to play it safe. As he waited for the car in front of him to turn, he pushed the button on the radio. Instantly the radio blared with Black Sabbath and he sighed softly.

"I see you have a good taste in music," Hyde joked, causing Sean to chuckle. He glanced behind him momentarily and caught sight of James and Max grinning with wild eyes. This was probably going to be the best day of their lives.

Hyde sharply turned onto 4th Avenue and headed down the road at a much faster speed than the other cars, even though he was "playing it safe." He wasn't paying attention to what Sean was doing, yet he heard the quiet sound of rustling and could only imagine.

"Want some?" He heard the younger boy ask, holding a baggie of mushrooms, along with LSD in the form of pills. Hyde shook his head and rolled his eyes.

"Nah, don't do that stuff," Hyde mumbled, Sean scoffed at that.

"Bull shit," Hyde turned to the teen and stared at him straight face.

"I hit the reef but that's it, no hard stuff for me," Sean sighed softly and slowly put away the two baggies. Hyde suppressed his smile as he discretely watched him out of the corner of his eye.

He didn't know what to expect when he would walk into their house. He knew it would probably be much worse in appearance than the house he lived in with Edna. Windows would probably be cracked, trash everywhere would be scattered across the floor covering stains of alcohol, blood, vomit and probably urine as well. The air would be hazy with smoke and reek of alcohol, sweat, smoke of many types, vomit and other waste. That's how it had been last time he was there, anyhow.

"Shocker," Sean mumbled nonchalantly, flicking his lighter on and off in boredom. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and stared straight ahead.

He kept his eyes forward, he didn't want to look around the familiar streets. The same streets he used to walk on at night. Yet as he passed his house, he couldn't tear his eyes away. No one had moved in, the landlord hadn't done a damn thing to it. So why was he evicted?

It didn't matter, he was living with the Formans. He didn't even want to think about living there now. He didn't ever want to step through those doors ever again.

"Hyde?" He glanced over at Sean who had grown increasingly quiet as they got closer and closer to his house. Now they were just a block away and he could feel the nervous tension in the car from all three of the boys.

"Yeah?" He asked, slowing as he neared their house. Sean was shaking softly and staring with wide, young eyes.

"Do you have to go?" The younger boy questioned in a whisper. Hyde parked the car and turned the key, and stared at Sean.

"I promised your brothers I was going to help you," Hyde reassured him, causing the fourteen year old to grin.

Four doors slammed and Hyde lead the way to the creaky, rotted front porch. James and Max followed directly behind him, with Sean at his side who was silent to the bone. Hyde didn't even think he was breathing. His hand turned on the door knob and slowly pulled it open.

Sean stepped inside first, and Hyde followed right away. He was immediately engulfed in a dim light and too strong smoke, even for him. He coughed and waited for his eyes to adjust to the darkness.

"Steven?" A shaky, quiet voice asked from a distance. He closed his eyes momentarily and opened them once more, it was easier to see. Flaming red, curly hair seemed to overtake the tiny skeleton-like face as Molly ran up to him. "Oh my God, Steven!" He grinned as he felt her bony arms wrap around him in a soft hug and he held her tight. As he breathed, he could smell the faint scent of blood, and his heart thudded painfully.

"Molly... are you bleeding?" He asked, she sniffled and shook her head, before wiping her dull eyes.

"No, no..." She whimpered, sitting back down on the couch, picking up a bundle and holding it close to her.

_'Oh God,'_ Hyde thought, his heart dropping to his stomach as Sean turned on the lamp beside her.

In Molly's arms was a tiny toddler, curled up and resting unconscious on her mother's bosom. Hyde's throat tightened as the mop of auburn curls was sticky with a darker red, as well as the rest of her very pale, thin body.

"Molly, what did Will do?" Hyde asked lowly, even Max whimpered at his menacing voice. The young woman shook her head as her shoulders wracked with heavy sobs. Her hand ran through Abby's hair as she held the sleeping little toddler.

"I tried to get him away from her," she sobbed, Hyde's heart pounded violently in his head, "he started to... hit her. And then he..." Molly didn't have to finish, she couldn't. He already knew what she was going to say. Her voice was overcome by hysterical sobs as she held her daughter close to her. "I should have protected my baby, Steven... it's... all my fault." Hyde's body tightened with a fury he hadn't felt since Edna left. He felt his fists clench and his arms tremble with his fury that he tried to contain yet wasn't able to.

"Where is he?" Hyde growled darkly, Molly whimpered and kissed Abby's head. "Molly, answer me!" Hyde shouted. Her hand slowly lifted and shook violently as she pointed to the left. Down the hall to the bedrooms. "I'm gonna kill him."

"Steven!"

"No, Hyde!"

He ignored the cries of Molly and Sean and ran down the hallway. He passed by Abby's room, then James and Max's room, followed by Sean's. Standing outside of the master bedroom door, Hyde took a deep breath and prepared himself for the worst.

In the background he could hear more than Molly crying. But he was going to help them, he was going to get this sick fucking bastard away from them. It was the best thing for their family, whether they realized it or not.

Hyde twisted the doorknob and burst into the hazy room, slamming the door shut behind him. He saw Will sitting on the bed, staring at the floor, but turned sharply upon hearing the abrupt entrance. Hyde saw a syringe fall from his hands and onto the floor. Will's expression softened when seeing Hyde and he smiled- showing off his loss of teeth.

"SJ! Hey man, how ya been?" Hyde scowled and braced himself as he slowly neared the trembling junkie in front of him. His ominous glare shocked through Will's vacant eyes as Hyde shook his head in disgust.

"Tell me what you did to Abby!" He ordered menacingly. Will just blinked as he stared at the taller teen in front of him.

"I didn't do n-nothin'!" Hyde's lip curled in a snarl as he grabbed the shaking man by his shirt collar.

"That's fucking bull shit! Your daughter is soaked in blood and your sons are covered in bruises from head to toe! And you say '_nothin_'?" Hyde bellowed, mocking Will's drunken slur. Will began to laugh as Hyde's body quivered in fury.

"You're f-fuckin' psycho, man! Just l-like your m-mama!" Will declared, "I ain't done nothing' to t-those kids that they don' d-deserve!"

"You fucked up my ma but I'm not gonna let you fuck up your kids. You deserve to rot in hell you sick-"

"Yeah?" Will chortled with wheezy laughter. "What're y-you gonna do b-bout it?" The man asked with a maniacal grin, knowing exactly what Hyde would do. He may have been high and drunk but the kid was predictable. He'd seen it so many times with dear old Edna.

"This!" Hyde screamed as he shoved Will against the wall, pulling back his fist to punch him. His knuckles met against the older man's jaw, earning a loud smacking noise. He couldn't stop himself, even if he wanted to; the adrenaline and fury that had risen after seeing the three boys was pouring out in revenge that the entire family needed. Will seemed lifeless, silent as Hyde beat upon him with force strong enough to leave bruises and a cracked nose. The man didn't even fight back. Until his burned fingers dug in his pocket, the silver glint caught Hyde's attention.

The seventeen year old's actions immediately stopped when the switchblade was brought out. Hyde took a step back and watched as Will stood up, holding the knife in front of him with a shaking hand. Hyde peered at it longer, his stomach knotted in horror when seeing blood along the sharp edge of the blade.

Will started towards Hyde, his fist pulled back as if he were going to punch him. Before Will's fist came in contact with Hyde's cheek, Hyde grabbed the dry, callused hand and turned it sharply, causing Will to falter. He was on the defense now, watching and waiting for Will's every move to protect himself, something he had gotten better at over the years.

Hyde bit down on his lip as a searing pain shot through his left arm. and Hyde glanced down and watched as blood oozed from a medium sized gash in his arm from the blade Will held. Catching sight of the door as he turned his gaze back to Will, an idea formed in his desperate mind.

Hyde furiously pushed Will against the wall, heard the loud thud and saw he had fallen to the floor. Now that he was on the ground, Hyde dashed to the door and quickly slammed it. With the dim light, he searched for a key hole, yet couldn't find one.

"Molly!" He cried loudly, earning the attention of the four people in the living room, three crying softly. "Call the cops!"

Hyde felt Will on the other end trying to open the door, yet he held his ground. Hyde was much stronger than the older man, especially since he wasn't a junkie with barely any muscle mass. Yet his left arm was beginning to throb and swell, giving him less strength. He heard silent arguing from the other room, what sounded like Molly and Sean.

"Steven, I can't!" Molly called out woefully, Hyde sighed angrily and tightened his hold on the door.

"Do it for your kids!" He growled, fighting against the violent pulling of the door. "Molly!" He barked, hoping that would help motivate her to grab the phone and call the police. Though he couldn't stand the Point Place police department or any other department, they needed to take in Will.

He heard her whimpering and talking to someone inaudibly in the living room. It was hard to hear what she was saying over Max and James's crying, but he didn't blame them. What he wanted to know was where Sean had gone; if he was helping his brothers or mom, or if he had left.

Another set of hands grabbed the door handle, much to Hyde's alarm. He glanced to his left and saw the younger teen holding onto the door with as much strength as he had. Giving a small nod, Hyde pulled tighter and fought against Will.

"He cut you?" Sean asked through gritted teeth, Hyde nodded.

"Not bad," he mumbled, yet his arm did hurt. The pain was hardly noticeable however, when he was trying to hold the door shut.

Hyde had been worried that Sean would try to help his dad, or leave the house while this was happening. Yet he had felt a sense of appreciation, maybe pride, when the fourteen year old went down to help him. Hyde knew that Sean felt that he was doing the right thing, otherwise he would have tried to fight Hyde off.

They were similar, Sean and Hyde. They both had a facade to protect them from people, but they both had a strong sense of protection to help save the ones they love. Hyde was sure Sean would do anything to keep his brothers, mom, and sister safe, even if it put him in danger. Which is the same thing Hyde would do.

As the shrill sirens began to pierce Hyde's ears, he felt himself stiffen. Yet he knew they weren't coming after him; he was on the good side for once. James and Max quickly ran to their room, with Abby in James's arms. Hyde wondered why they had done that, yet quickly shoved his thoughts aside.

Sean let go of the door and Hyde cast a glare at him. Yet he softened when seeing him wriggle out of his sweatshirt and handed it to Hyde.

"Don't let 'em see your cut," Sean murmured, then held onto the door with more strength than Hyde could have seen in him. Hyde hurried to slide his arms into the dark gray, baggy hoodie, and quickly zipped it.

Multiple feet pounded against the hardwood floors of Molly and Will's house. Hyde looked down the hall and saw three police officers, each armed and determined. They ran down the hall and quickly busted open the door after commanding that the two teens move back.

Hyde watched as two of the police handcuffed Will. He turned to Sean who stared with wide eyes and an ashen face. The younger boy was breathing heavily and pressed into the corner, scared. Hyde grimaced and gently kicked his foot, grabbing Sean's attention.

"Hey, man, it's gonna be okay," he whispered, Sean just scoffed and shook his head, quickly wiping his eyes.

While one of the officers took a fighting Will outside, the other stood in front of the two teens and sighed heavily.

"Are you Sean Mason?" He asked, Sean slowly nodded, then the officer turned to Hyde. "And you're Steven Hyde?"

"Yes," Hyde mumbled, staring straight into the eyes of the officer.

"Past aside, you came here to... help the Masons?" He asked Hyde once more.

"Yes, I did, sir," He answered, hoping he wasn't going to be taking down to the station. Whenever he talked to officers, they always took him down in handcuffs. This time he really hadn't done anything wrong. He just tried to save them.

"How long have you known the Masons? Has their always been violence in their home?" The officer questioned, taking a glance at Sean. The boy had turned into a stone, staring straight ahead, and Hyde sighed softly.

"I've known them for a long time, probably since I was two. And yes, it's always been like this," Hyde knew his best bet was to be fully honest, not to use zen or act like he didn't care.

"Has Molly ever abused her children? Has she had a history with substances?" Hyde shook his head at the question.

"The only time Molly has ever touched her children was to hold them, she would never lay a harmful hand on her kids. And she's had a history, but she's clean, now."

"And you know this, how?" Hyde shook his head and took a deep breath.

"A couple years ago, she was taken in with my mom. Where Molly got treatment to get sober, my mom didn't." The police officer nodded and continued to jot down the information in his notebook.

"I'm taking your mother down for a statement and questioning, Mr. Mason," he said, turning now to Sean, "She will not be arrested, but may be taken to the hospital for observation. Someone from the department will call to inform you on her whereabouts-"

"What about my dad?" The officer laughed sadly and shook his head.

"Son, the best thing for your family right now is to have him locked up." Then he turned to Hyde and cleared his throat. "Will you stay with these children until Molly returns home?" Hyde felt a surge of relief pour through him and he nodded.

"Yeah, not a problem," Hyde answered, glancing over at Sean who looked sick.

* * *

"Mrs. Forman, I'm sorry, I really am. I'll be there later tonight." Hyde apologized to the woman over the phone three hours later.

"Well if this is important-"

"It is, I would be home with you if it wasn't," Hyde heard Kitty laugh softly and sigh from the other end.

"Okay, sweetie, I believe you. Just let me know when you're coming home, okay?" She asked, Hyde smiled and nodded although she couldn't see.

"All right," he mumbled, then quickly hung up the phone.

Hyde sighed and glanced at the little bundle in his arms. He had given Abby a bath after she woke up, and treated her cuts, but now she was sleeping once more. Sean hadn't wanted to hold her, and James and Max were too wound up to take her, so it had been up to Hyde. Which secretly he didn't mind. Re-situating her in his arms, Hyde walked out to the kitchen where he had told Sean to help them make some dinner.

"Guys, come on! I'm not-" Sean cried, then gasped when seeing Hyde standing in the doorway. The seventeen year old suppressed his laughter when seeing flour all over the floor, the two younger boys, and Sean's jeans.

"Productive," Hyde joked, causing James and Max to giggle as they through the flour at each other. "You have anything in the fridge? He asked Sean, who bit his lip. Hyde knew that answer; the same one he used to give to Mrs. Forman all the time. Their fridge was probably full of alcohol, like his. Sighing softly, Hyde leaned on the wall and stuck his foot out when Max tried to run passed him.

"Okay, you two. Go clean up and I'll make you some food," he said, causing them both to squeal and chase each other to the bathroom. They left small flour footprints along the dark brown floor. Sean looked at him with risen eyebrows and an amused smirk.

"Didn't you say you hated kids?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders and started looking in the freezer for any kind of meat. "Yeah, I remember. You always said you'd rather dropkick a baby than hear it crying."

"That was us talking when your _girlfriend_ wanted to you two to get married and have kids. You were freaking out and were asking me all these questions. _'Hyde do I want kids?'_ _'Hyde I don't want to be a dad, I'm ten!'_"

"Shut up," Sean grumbled as Hyde mocked his old friend. "You're the one cooking," he tried to come back strong, yet realized his burn wasn't effective. Hyde chuckled and pulled out a recently purchased bag of ground beef. After Hyde formed six hamburgers out of the raw meat, he set three in the pan that Sean had turned on, opened the fridge and took a can of beer. "Hey Hyde?" Sean asked him quietly, grabbing a beer can for himself.

"Yup," he mumbled, taking a swig from the cold can.

"What happened to Edna?" Hyde laughed softly and shook his head. He felt Abby turn her head against his shoulder and he patted the little girl's back softly.

"She left," Hyde mumbled, flipping the burgers. He caught Sean's surprised look and shrugged his shoulders. "She went off with a trucker about a month ago," he clarified, watching as the younger boy nodded slowly.

"That sucks," Hyde shrugged once more and turned the hamburgers once more. He heard Sean dig through one of the cabinets and sighed, going back to cooking. Abby was breathing loudly in his ear as she slept soundly against him.

"She's going to be okay, right?" Sean suddenly asked after placing handfuls of potato chips on five plates. Hyde turned around and looked at him curiously, unsure about who he was talking about.

"Ed-"

"Abby, I meant. You think she'll be okay?" Hyde nodded, sending Sean a small smile.

"Yeah, she'll be fine," he reassured, as heavy footsteps pounded down the hallway.

Hyde heard Sean tell his brothers to go in the living room and wait for dinner. Hyde knew that they ate in the living room rather than at the small dining room table of theirs; he did the same thing when he lived with Edna.

He felt sort of odd when realizing what he was doing was known as "babysitting." He had watched Molly's children a few times before, but that had only been when Edna and Molly went out. Hyde hadn't really thought of it as babysitting before, especially since Sean was so close to his age. Yet here he was, making them dinner and telling them what to do, even Sean. Like a babysitter.

"Damn," he mumbled to himself as he thought this. If his friends found out, he would be made fun of for years, he knew that.

As Hyde began to doctor up the hamburgers, he grimaced. Mrs. Forman was probably slaving over some gourmet meal for his birthday and waiting for him to come home. She would probably dish him up a plate and keep it there for when he did show up. God, he didn't want her to stay up until he got home, he didn't know how long he would be. But he knew she would.

With all thoughts of his friends, the Formans, and his birthday in the back of his mind, Hyde carried out the four plates, after laying a sleeping Abby on the couch. As soon as he set down the plates on the small coffee table, Max and James began to inhale the sandwiches as if they hadn't eaten in days; which was definitely possible. Sean on the other hand just picked at the bread and stared at the television screen with a bored expression.

Hyde scooted down on the couch and picked up Abby, holding her in his lap. He watched as her eyes fluttered open and she gazed sleepily at him.

"Hey sleepy," he mumbled, causing her to smile softly and curl her toes. "I got you dinner."

"Weally?" She asked with a Shirley Temple-like voice. He nodded and split the hamburger in fourths with his hands. Her small hands grabbed one of the fourths and she began to nibble on it slowly.

Abby was too young to go through something traumatic like this. She was only two years old and had already been through more than some adults would see in a lifetime. Hopefully since she was so young she would forget it, but sometimes those things just stick in the mind.

Hyde just wanted this family to finally experience something good. Molly and her kids deserved it, they shouldn't have ever been held back by Will. And now she can go and make better lives for her children- unlike Edna she had that motivation and desire. She loved her kids more than anyone in the world and would do whatever it took to make them happy- he could see that even now. Sean, James, Max, and Abby knew their mother's love, knew her arms would protect them from all evil, if only for a little while. They were lucky to have that, it probably saved them from becoming like him.

"When do you think mom will be home?" Max chirped suddenly, turning to face Hyde with wide brown eyes. He sighed and handed a famished Abby another fourth of her sandwich.

"We'll get a call when she's on the way," Sean replied, Hyde glanced at him while he absentmindedly played with the little girl's curly hair that resembled autumn. Max beamed at him with the biggest smile and went back to munching contentedly on the potato chips.

"What about dad?" James asked. Sean looked at Hyde as if he waited for him to answer. As if he expected the older teen to know what to say and do to lighten the fact that their dad was probably never coming home.

"Your dad... he won't be-"

"He's going to jail, Jimmy! He won't be back!" Sean snapped flatly, arms wrapped around his bent knees. Hyde's attention shifted to the two young boys who had stopped their chewing and looked back and forth at Sean and himself as if expecting one of them to yell "psych!" Max's lower lip trembled and he slowly dropped the rest of his hamburger on the plate.

"Is it true?" James murmured, looking at Hyde as if this were his lifeline. He sighed softly and grimaced while he thought of a much gentler way to say the same thing Sean had said. Hyde remembered when his mom told him Bud went to jail for the first time- he had been six. Said it was going to be the best thing for them, but then that same night she bailed him out.

"James, what your dad did to you, your siblings, and mother is wrong, really, really wrong," Hyde started, he felt eight pairs of eyes on him as he started to speak. "Trust me, I know. But right now, what are you thinking? I know you may not want to hear this, but your dad going to prison... will probably be the best thing for you guys. He can't hurt you anymore. He can't yell or scream or make you watch him hurt himself and your mom." James nodded slowly and stared at the speaker with such fascination in his eyes. Sean seemed to have tuned him out, his eyes gazed on vacantly as if he were in a trance. Max scrambled to sit next to Hyde and pulled his arm to receive full attention.

"Hyde," the little boy asked so softly. Hyde felt his throat tighten as the tiny, bruised boy looked at him in bewilderment. For a moment, he almost felt like he was staring into the past, yet he was grounded on the couch. "H-how... how do you know?"

That question seemed to strike a chord, for Hyde was at a loss of words. It was like asking if everything was going to be okay- you know the answer, but can't find the right words. No matter how he would say it, it would never come out right, he'd never have the strength to tell them, or anyone exactly how he knew it would be okay. Or how he knew this would be the best thing for the Masons.

But Hyde willed himself to speak; he had to. These kids to believe him, to trust that he was right. They deserved a firsthand witness of someone who had been through the same hellish torture as they, and made it out. Though he had a few scars, outside and in, he still made it out with a smile on his face.

"Because I went through the exact same thing," he murmured, causing James's jaw to drop in awe. The eight year old and five year old turned their attention to him, expecting an elaborate story of empathy. But Sean didn't even seem to recognize the seventeen year old's presence... yet Hyde knew better. Hyde knew that what he was about to share would hit home to the catatonic teen in the corner.

"You didn't know my dad, but he hurt me, like your dad did to you. It started off a few hits every now and then, but it got stronger, more violent, and happened a lot more," he had to choose his words wisely, he was talking to young kids, after all. "Sometimes I thought I was really going to die. I sometimes went a week without food, days without sleep and no one seemed to notice, or care. But he left, and things got better... for awhile." Hyde paused, noting the astonished expressions on their faces. "I thought my problems were gone once my dad left, but I was wrong. My mom ended up getting into the same things as your dad, and hurt me, like my dad. Plus her boyfriends or "my uncles" would beat on me, too. I didn't expect to live passed sixteen. But things got so bad that they couldn't get any worse, and she just left; forever. And my friend and his family ended up taking me in, which was the best thing that ever happened in my life. And wanna know something else?" He asked, the two boys nodded furiously, nearly on the edge of the couch with anticipation. "I just turned seventeen." As soon as he spoke, their mouths opened in perfect 'o' shapes and their eyes lit up like wildfire.

"You lived!" Max cried happily, Hyde nodded as the youngest boy laughed.

"So... things _are_ going to get better?" James asked slowly, almost cautiously as he tested Hyde's words.

"I promise," Hyde reassured, then took a momentary glance over at Sean. He stared at Hyde with eyes full of envy almost, as if he were jealous that he had been taken into a good home. But Hyde knew that things were going to get better for them all, especially if Will was locked up in prison- for good. Soon they would have that very same life he had.

* * *

"Tell me 'notha!"

Hyde hung his head hours later as he sat in the dimly lit living room. His legs were crossed on the couch and a wide awake Abby sat in his lap, facing him with his shades on. She giggled and tore off the glasses, throwing them against the cushion, and squeaked with hysterical laughter as they bounced into the air.

"Hey," Hyde grumbled, causing the little girl to stare up at him with wide doe eyes full of innocence. He smiled weakly and felt one of her hands grab his index and middle finger, then squeeze as tight as she could.

"Pease?" She chirped, baring her tiny teeth. Hyde chuckled softly and took a deep breath before expelling it as a yawn. Her brown eyes narrowed before she pulled on his left earring violently.

"Hey!" He exclaimed quietly, poking her chubby stomach as punishment. "Don't do that, they're attached," he mumbled, rubbing the silver ring as the slight pain soothed.

"Pease tell me 'notha?" She pleaded, her tiny hands now pushing against his abdomen. Hyde's lips curled in a smile and he took her hands in his, pulling her up so she'd lay down on him.

"Only if you try to sleep this time, you're up way too late," he told her.

It was 12:30 in the morning. He had sent James and Max to bed two hours ago, and Sean ended up going to his room at midnight. Hyde had been left with little Abby who was stubbornly refusing to shut her eyes.

He had been waiting for a call from the police department, yet knew after ten that they wouldn't call. It was up to them randomly pulling up in the middle of the night to let him know Molly would be home. He didn't really mind, if only he didn't have Mrs. Forman waiting for him at home. Hyde hoped that Kitty would have gone to bed, yet he knew she wouldn't rest easy knowing one of her babies was out somewhere, not tucked in _their_ bed. She was probably sitting in the living room, crocheting as she waited for the sliding glass doors to shut. Or the phone to ring, to let her know he was safe and on the way back to their house.

"'Kay!" Abby sang, grinning as she collapsed her head against his chest.

Hyde sighed and concentrated, trying to think of a short story to make up that would amuse a little girl, but put her to sleep at the same time. His mind flickered back to the times when he was much younger, when he'd write his own fantasy stories inspired by_ The Lord of the Rings_. They weren't good, but they were stories nonetheless.

"Okay, I have one," he mumbled, running his fingers through her deep auburn tendrils, trying to calm her. "In the middle of a dark... purple sky, there was a floating... castle where a king and his court members lived. He had a really pretty wife and a little girl with long red hair that always stayed in perfect spirals," Hyde was changing the story to fit for a young girl, rather than a little boy.

"Me!" Abby cried, and he chuckled.

"Yup, her name was Princess Abigail and she watched over the nice dragons and the unicorns," Jackie would love to hear him talk about unicorns. She'd probably make fun of him, even though she loved the mythical creatures. "But in the middle of the night, someone had stolen all of the nice little dragons and the flying unicorns." He waited for an interruption from Abby, yet when he just saw her blink, he continued. "The king called all of his councilmen and court members to find brave knights to search for her pets because Princess Abigail was miserable," he felt her nod and he smiled widely. "After a week of interviewing every boy and man age twelve to thirty, they finally found a young knight, brave enough to go through the underworld to find her pets-"

"You!" she cried, pointing a finger into his sternum. Hyde raised and eyebrow and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well I was thinking Max, but okay," Abby giggled and shook her head as she gazed in wonder at her storyteller.

"So this knight began his journey-"

"He has to have a name!"Hyde narrowed his eyes as he stared at Abby unbelievably.

"Fine, Knight St-"

"Styrofoam!" He raised an eyebrow and suppressed his laughter before continuing on with his story.

"Okay... Knight Styrofoam of the Kingdom of Tupperware began his journey to the underworld, where he met scary things. First he came across a gathering of ghosts and they tried to take his soul. But he fought them off with a magical earring the princess had given him. Then he was caught in a battle of two cities warring against each other. He ended up helping them achieve peace and was given a magical chain necklace from the old king of the land. It would give him luck and fortune. And finally, before he arrived in the evil lair of the thief, he had to fight off zombies that were trying to eat him alive!" His hands wrapped around Abby who giggled at his attempt to scare her. "Have you tried closing your eyes at all?" he asked her, taking a break from the story. The little girl shook her head as she beamed proudly. "Of course not," he mumbled sarcastically to himself, patting her stomach as he continued the story. "Once the zombies were fought off, he ran down the lava steps and found the little furry dragons and unicorns-"

"Dagons not fuwwy!" Abby interjected, her eyes glaring up at him. He had figured fur was a more pleasant description than scales.

"Okay... he found the little scaly dragons and unicorns in a cage made of pumice,"

"Was dat?"

"Rock. He found them in a cage of rock that the scary volcano had coughed up after a bad cold. But just when he was going to let the dragons and unicorns out, the thief, who turned out to be an angry midget, started to attack him with a laser sword. The chain that the old king had given him ended up saving his life- because it bounced the laser off of him and hit the furious old midget, knocking him out. While he was sleeping, Knight Styrofoam of the Kingdom of Tupperware gathered the little dragons and unicorns and told them how to get home. He lead them out on one of the bigger unicorns, and flew back up to the castle. There the king and queen gave him a place to stay and made him lord of the kingdom. But he had to go show Princess Abigail that he had saved her pets. The next morning he took her to the stables and showed her that they were all back in their pasture, flying and grazing happily. But they knew to stay because they loved their owner so much. So Knight, now Lord Styrofoam took Princess Abigail to the unicorn he had ridden and gave her a ride into the clouds. The end."

Hyde waited for Abby to pull on his shirt and beg for another story. For her to tell him that she loved it or hated it and wanted a better ending. Or for her to poke him again. When there wasn't a single response from the toddler, he gazed down and softened. Abby had fallen asleep somewhere between the volcano having a bad cold and Knight Styrofoam becoming a lord, he figured.

Hyde sighed softly and stretched his legs out onto the other end of the couch, his ankles and feet hung off of the edge of the armrest. He leaned his head back and sighed softly, staring up at the yellowed ceiling. Abby breathed heavily into his shirt, her small body curled up against his chest and stomach. Hyde's hand softly patted her back in a slow rhythm, to keep her in her sleep. He knew she liked that from the last time he watched her.

His eyes began to sting from sleepiness, yet he wasn't going to sleep until Molly arrived back home. Even if it was the middle of the day tomorrow, he would still stay awake to know the kids were all right and in their mother's care.

He was sure Molly would do anything and everything for her children. For them to be safe, comfortable, and happy, especially now that Will was gone. They could move to a better place, she could get a job and save her money to go back to college. He hoped that for them, at least. Each one of them deserved only the very best for their lives from here on out. All they had to do was keep Will away; and that was the one thing Hyde was unsure of. No matter what, Molly loved Will for the man he used to be, before he got caught up in drugs and the violence that plagued their once peaceful, bright home. But he knew that Will wouldn't ever be that guy for her again, that she needed to move on, move away with the kids. What he didn't know is if she would be able to do that.

Out of the corner of his eye, the wall across from him lit up from headlights outside. He waited for the sound of the soft muffler to drive by. Yet his body stiffened upon hearing the wheels roll to a stop. Abby shifted in her sleep when a car door slammed shut, followed by another.

Footsteps lightly creaked outside of the house, and Hyde held his breath. He was half expecting Molly to arrive home alone, but when hearing the second door, he thought better. He couldn't help himself from thinking that she had somehow bailed Will out, and that he would be home to torment his family once more.

Much to his relief, he saw a flashlight and a pale hand reach out to turn on the main light. Hyde shielded Abby's eyes just before the dim living room lights glowed in the night. Hyde's eyes adjusted to the change of vision, and he relaxed. Molly stood in the doorway; for the first time in years she looked... happy. There was no ache in her smile, no pain in her eyes. Hyde's apprehension had immediately eradicated when seeing the police officer behind her, standing with a flashlight in hand and a small smile on his face.

"Steven!" Molly whispered excitedly, rushing over to him with tears in her eyes. Hyde slowly sat up so Abby wouldn't be jostled awake. "Thank you, so much... how could I ever repay you?" He chuckled and shrugged his shoulders before handing her the little girl. Standing up, he was glad that his eyes were hidden by his sunglasses so she couldn't see how happy he was. For her and her family. "It's so late, I'm sure the-" Hyde waved his hand and shook his head.

"Molly, it's fine, these are my prime hours," Hyde joked quietly, causing the young, replenished woman to smile. Already years of grief and fear that had plagued her physically seemed to have washed away in mere hours. "Just, don't go back to Will." He heard a soft laugh from the corner of his room, and turned his attention to the officer.

"Oh, you don't need to worry about that, son. That man is locked up for good," Hyde felt his lips turn upwards in a bright grin. All that he could have hoped for Molly, Sean, James, Max, and Abby were happening right now, before him. They were going to have the life they deserved, like he had gotten. "Mrs. Mason, I will come by tomorrow with a social worker to interview the children, however. We need to have their testimonies-"

"They... they won't be taken..." Molly trailed off, lower lip trembling as she held her youngest child and only daughter tightly.

"No, that doesn't seem necessary," the officer answered, sending her a slight smile.

Molly turned once more to Hyde and shook her head incredulously. She wrapped her free arm around him and squeezed him tightly.  
"Steven, you have no idea how grateful I truly am. If... if it weren't for you, we'd..." Molly trailed off, as she regained her composure. "I don't understand how your mother could let go of such a joy. You are... an amazing, strong young man. And I will never be able to repay you." Hyde patted her back and shook his head once again.

"You don't need to, just keep you and your kids safe, that's the best you could do. You all deserve that and more," Molly nodded and wiped her bright green eyes of the brimming tears and laughed softly.

"Mrs. Mason, I'm sure you want to get some sleep, as well as getting that little on to bed," The deputy declared from the other side of the room. Molly sighed and nodded and smiled happily at Hyde. "And since it's past midnight, I will have to take you home," he now turned to Hyde, who gulped. "You're not in trouble, I'll inform your parents of this." Hyde sighed with relief and nodded, then caught the officer ushering him out of the house.

"Molly?" Hyde asked, before following the cop outside. The young woman turned to him with a curious expression. "There is something you can do for me."

"Of course!" She cried. Hyde smiled and felt his cheeks heat a little as he looked at her.

"Can you call Red and Kitty Forman and tell them I'm on the way home?"

* * *

Twenty minutes later Hyde felt the police car roll to a halt in the Forman driveway. Thankfully Officer Johns, as he found out, hadn't turned on the lights. However, the porch light was still on by the sliding glass doors, and Hyde gulped. He knew at least Kitty was still awake.

Opening the car door, Hyde felt his legs nearly buckle as he stood up. He knew they were going to expect the worst when seeing him standing outside with the cop behind him, he knew that. Before Officer Johns got a chance to speak, Red would have him in a forty-five minute lecture on _'How To Not Be A Dumbass 101'_. Then they would finally find out that he had done something slightly good and then he'd just be 'Screwhead.'

Hyde felt sick as he stood at the front door, behind the police officer who knocked softly on the door. His head was bowed low as he waited for the green door to open. He didn't want to see Mr. and Mrs. Forman in their pajamas, disoriented from sleep or with concerned and disappointed faces. He didn't want them to be upset with him for being out so late and being brought home by a cop, especially on his birthday.

"-I'm sure it's just-" Hyde heard Red's voice muffled through the door, then stop as they were greeted by the middle-aged man. Red's eyes stared at the police officer, then turned to where Hyde was standing, nervous and dejected.

"Oh for God's sakes, Kitty!" Red called, Hyde felt a pang in his stomach as he heard the light padding of feet as they approached the door. There Mrs. Forman was, standing next to her husband with a shocked expression and curlers in her hair.

"Steven, I thought-"

"Are you Steven Hyde's parents?" Hyde's feet shuffled as they waited for their answer. He half expected Red to say no and slam the door on their faces. Finally the man sighed and nodded.

"Well, we're his guardians, yes," Red grumbled, Hyde's eyes turned to the man.

"Please excuse Steven's absence for the night. We had asked him to stay at the Mason residence and agreed to help us. He isn't in any trouble, I was just bringing him home."

"Well, why was he there? Why didn't you have the decency to tell us where-"

"Red," Kitty warned, then laughed nervously. "Thank you, so much, officer." Hyde slowly walked over the threshold into their home and watched as Officer John took off down the steps, to his car.

After Red closed the door, he was prepared for the lecture. Yet all the man said was "kitchen, now." Hyde hung his head and was lead by Kitty to the table. He knew he was in trouble with them, even though he hadn't done anything illegal, with the law enforcement that is. He knew he broke all of the rules that reigned on the Forman home, and he was prepared for a harsh punishment and the threat of wearing his ass as a hat.

"When Eric returned home telling us you went off for the night we had no clue what to think! You didn't think we deserved to know your whereabouts, especially since it's... gee, your birthday? You're a real piece of work, aren't you? You better be glad you're not-"  
"Steven, what Red is trying to say is that we were very worried about you. Can you tell us what happened?" Kitty asked gently. Hyde sighed and nodded slowly, of course they ought to know where the hell he had been all night. All he had done was call Kitty to say he wouldn't be home.  
"For-Eric and I were at the grocery store like you asked us to do, and we were getting ready to leave. When my mom's friend's sons came in. They didn't look too good, and their dad is... rough... so I decided that I'd go to their house and see what was going on."

"So you felt you-"

"Red," Kitty hissed, glaring angrily at her husband, before smiling sweetly at Hyde. "You can continue, sweetie." Hyde took a deep breath and began to bounce his knee before he started speaking again.

"Well I got to their house, and it wasn't good. Molly- my mom's friend, she had blood all over and so did her little daughter, Abby. So... I went to go... see if Will was there and then we got into a fight-"

"Oh Lord," Red grumbled, yet Kitty's eyes were wide with fear.

"I ended up locking him in the room with help from one of my old friends, Sean. Molly called the cops and they took him into custody, and took her in for observation and to give her statement. They asked me to stay and watch the kids, so I did. Molly got back home with the officer, and I came right here." He was waiting for another comment from Red, yet the man was silent. Kitty had tears in her eyes as she gazed happily at him.

"Were you hurt at all?" Kitty finally asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and pulled up his sleeve to show the cut. Mrs. Forman gasped at his swollen bicep and immediately went into nurse mode. "Steven, how did he cut you?"

"With a knife-"

"Was it, oh forget it, of course it wasn't clean. But was it especially dirty?" Hyde bit his lip and he hesitated. "Steven!" She barked, causing him to stare with wide eyes at her. "I'm sorry, it's just, I need to know."

"Well, it uh... had some blood..." Red stood up and left the room quickly, and Hyde furrowed his eyebrows. "But I figured it was..."

"Steven, come upstairs with me," Kitty murmured, and he felt his stomach sink.

"Wait, I'm okay, right?" He asked, Kitty smiled softly up at him and nodded quickly.

"I just want to get a blood sample," she told him as they walked up the carpeted stairs. Hyde grimaced and glanced at the swollen injury on his arm.

"Why?" He questioned her, following into the bathroom located in Mr. and Mrs. Forman's bedroom. Kitty remained silent as she turned on the light. Hyde silently walked into the bright bathroom and sat on the edge of the tub. He watched as Kitty searched through the medicine cabinet for a clean medical syringe and needle. The only time he had seen a syringe was when it was injecting something, or discarded on the ground with blood on it from digging furiously in his mom's arm.

"Steven, you're smart. I'm sure you were educated in your freshman health class about different diseases," Hyde knew where this was going. "I just want to be sure you weren't given anything that could harm you," Hyde just stared at the floor.

"I don't think-"

"I just want to be sure, Steven, hold out your arm." He hesitantly obliged, and rolled up his sleeve so she could view the injury better. He winced as Mrs. Forman dabbed the wound with alcohol to clean the caked blood from his arm. He watched as she pulled back the syringe expertly and suddenly felt nervous. He didn't hate needles, but witnessing his mother shooting up had caused him to be wary of injections and shots. While this was drawing blood, it still had the same effect.

Mrs. Forman turned his arm over and examined his veins. A slight sting passed through his arm as the needle stabbed through his skin to his vein near the crease of his elbow. He watched as his dark blood was suctioned from the needle into the syringe, until it was nearly full. Quickly, Kitty pulled out the needle and hurried to find the cap.

"That's all, Steven!" Kitty chirped, he smiled weakly as he stood up.

"Mrs. Forman, you don't think I _did_ get anything, did you?" He asked, Kitty sighed and turned off the light as they walked back downstairs.

"Well, there is a small chance. I know you're... more mature in different aspects of life than Eric, so I'm going to ask; do you use protection?" Hyde nodded and she smiled softly. "And with physicals you would have been told if you had any sexually transmitted diseases, so my only concern is that knife." Hyde nodded and felt his worry deepen.

The two sat in the kitchen, Kitty was busy in the kitchen, while Hyde sat deep in thought. He had never even thought of getting an STD, he was always safe and careful. He didn't want to be like Edna who had a huge list of prescriptions for the treatment of her various diseases. He didn't think he'd ever have to go get a blood sample, or go to the free clinic to find out if he had an infection. But he knew Will; he shared needles, barebacked with Edna more than a few times as well as other hookers throughout the Oshkosh area. And some of the blood on that knife could have very well been his.

Hyde shuddered at that thought and sighed softly. After his arm had been cleaned, the cut didn't look so bad. It was still heated and swollen, it would probably end up getting an infection but Kitty would take care of it. He wasn't concerned about the "boo-boo" at all, just what that boo-boo could cause him.

"Steven, sweetie?" Mrs. Forman brought him out of his thoughts with a light tap on his shoulder. He turned and caught her sweet smile. "Don't worry," She whispered, setting down a plate in front of him. He grinned when seeing the large piece of German chocolate cake in front of him, along with the bunny tracks ice cream that Eric most have chosen. He felt Mrs. Forman kiss his temple and wrap her arms around him in a nurturing hug, something that he secretly wanted right now.

"Happy birthday, Steven," he smiled as she kissed his cheek. Hyde hesitantly rested his head on her shoulder, much to her happiness. Though the uneasiness in his stomach made him feel nauseous, he felt at least a little comforted by Kitty's motherly actions, as well as the large cake in front of him.

"Thanks... mom," he whispered, causing the woman to squeeze him tightly. After all the years of earning the three lettered golden word, Kitty Forman finally took the title away from the unworthy Edna Hyde and wore it as her own. Right where it belonged.

"Oh, honey..." she cooed, sitting down next to Hyde and held his hand. As he took a bite of the delicious, home made cake, Kitty patted his callused hand and tried her best to reassure the conflicted young man in front of her. "Don't you worry about a thing, everything is going to be all right," she told him strongly. He sent her a smile and nodded. To her surprise, his arms wrapped around her in a hug, not half-hearted or in response to hers. But a genuine hug from him that she had never received.

Hyde sighed and nodded against her. "I know," he mumbled in response as her arms wrapped around him in a protective embrace.

Right where he belonged.


	54. Indifference

_**A/N: Hello all! I'm so sorry for this long of an update. A lot of stuff has happened and soon it turned into two months since I updated and I apologize for that. Hopefully I still have a couple readers out there :). I really hope you all forgive me for the unintentional hiatus I took. If you're wondering, I've already started the next chapter, so that should be up sooner than later :).  
**_

_**-Special thanks to nannygirl who is an amazing author and someone who helps me tons. Check out her amazing stories and give them some love if you haven't! :D **_

_**- Also special thanks to MistyMountainHop and twiniitowers, you're both awesome! :) **_

_**-If you want full updates you should read my blog. There is a link to it on my FF profile.**_

_**Now I'm done!**_

_**Love,  
**_

_**Angie  
**_

* * *

_I will light the match this mornin', so I won't be alone. Watch as she lies silent, for soon light will be gone. I will stand arms outstretched, pretend I'm free to roam. I will make my way, through, one more day in hell... How much difference does it make? How much difference does it make? I will hold the candle till it burns up my arm. I'll keep takin' punches until their will grows tired. I will stare the sun down until my eyes go blind. Hey I won't change direction, and I won't change my mind. How much difference does it make? How much difference does it make? how much difference...? I'll swallow poison until I grow immune. I will scream my lungs out till it fills this room. How much difference? How much difference? How much difference does it make?_

Down the hall, a door slowly creaked open. A pair of heels loudly clicked down the long tiled east wing of the high school. The permeating scent of the infamous "old lady" perfume told the two students prowling the hallways that it was none other than the secretary. Everyone knew their cranky, short secretary by the sound of her high heels and the gagging scent of her musky perfume that could be smelled a mile away.

Pressed tightly against the green painted wall, Hyde slowly raised his hand and pressed his finger to his lips to hush his companion. His feather-haired friend opened his mouth to speak as he stood nearly petrified against the side of the lockers.

"Why can't we talk?" Kelso mouthed to Hyde, who was peeking his head passed the set of green and white lockers that belonged to the juniors.

"_Little Hitler_ is on the move," the seventeen year old mouthed back in reference to their very controlling and mean secretary. Slowly Hyde's body relaxed as he took a step out from their poor hiding spot.

He had been bored in calculus. After weeks of trying to please Mr. and Mrs. Forman, Hyde was itching for some kind of rebellion, as little as it would be. Passing notes to Kelso hadn't helped, neither had trying to sleep in class. He was looking for the worst possible thing to do without getting a detention. Until Kelso had thrown him the origami frog note that the older of the two must have made in his own boredom. (Hyde hadn't thought to question how Kelso had known origami.)

The two friends had decided to skip the class after Kelso feigned stomach cramps and Hyde offered to take him to the nurse. Now they were slowly sneaking down to the sophomore's biology class. Their interest had started when Kelso had heard them bragging about dissecting frogs today and how they had moved up to the highest level of high school dissection- frogs were better than crawdads and earth worms. Kelso had told Hyde that they were going to be dissecting and each of them knew what the other was thinking.

"So we're just going to walk in there?" Kelso whispered as they slowly neared Mr. Plant's room. Hyde nodded and turned the door knob slowly. As they entered the vacant room, the nasally voice of Mr. Plant echoed from the lab. Quickly, Hyde and Kelso tip toed to the infamous second room where the duo had been banned the entire previous year.

Hyde stood in the doorway as a brown haired boy held a sharp tool in his hands, pointed jokingly toward his friend.

"No, Matthew! Drop the scalpel!" Mr. Plant yelled frantically as the sophomore stood with his lab partner, both of them trying not to burst out laughing. Hyde slowly turned to his grinning friend and smirked in amusement.

"Yup, this brings back memories," the seventeen-year-old mumbled, causing Kelso to laugh, which in turn caught the attention of most of the underclassmen.

Mr. Plant had finally taken the scalpel from the boy known as Matthew and sighed with relief. "Class I have instructed you the past three weeks with how to properly dissect the various organisms..."

"I still get organism and orgasm mixed up," Kelso mumbled to Hyde who just chuckled while he nodded.

"I remember that! That's almost as good as 'hey, Hyde! Look! I'm touching its clitellum!'" Hyde whispered back, referring to one of the three reasons they were kicked out of the lab room. The boys hadn't noticed that their old biology teacher had caught sight of the mischievous pair.

"'Oh yeah, Kelso? I ripped that clitellum apart and it-'"

"Steven, Michael, what are you doing here? We're in the middle of class!" Hyde glanced at Kelso whose mouth was still open, as if frozen in time.

"Uh... we have a project... to... uh..."

"Watch different community members as they do their daily tasks and we decided to watch you," Hyde answered nonchalantly, causing Kelso to relax. It was always up to the curly haired boy to find the right words to say at the right time. Mr. Plant's expression hardened at his words, however, and Kelso gulped.

"Why is there such a lack of communication in this school these days? I swear..." he trailed off, ending his rant. "Fine, you may watch but DO NOT touch the specimens!" He warned gravely, glaring at his former students. The two turned to each other and grinned.

"Bitchin'!" Kelso chirped excitedly.

Hyde glanced around the room and sighed. He remembered being in biology and messing around in the lab. Like "accidentally" starting a fire, or helping Fez free the frogs on this very day last year. The kids in this class were so well-mannered as they worked on their observations. He remembered when the frogs were finally caught all he and Kelso did was just open the mouth and pull out the tongues; earning a detention.

His eyes caught sight of a familiar strawberry-blonde haired girl fighting an inner struggle as she stared at the paralyzed frog in front of her. And her all-too familiar partner would have no part in the dissecting whatsoever, she wouldn't even touch eggs.

"Tina," Hyde acknowledged, slowly walking towards the two girls.

"Hey Steven, what're you doing in here?" The now fifteen year old girl asked.

"Observing... for a project," he heard a soft scoff and looked over at Jackie. He smirked at her disgruntled expression as she fussed over her lab coat and goggles. Kelso had already gone to stand next to her and was untying the strings on the back of the white coat. The seventeen year old quickly looked back to Tina, who looked about ready to cry as she gazed sadly at the frog.

"It's not going to cut itself," Hyde mumbled, standing next to her. Tina nodded slowly and properly gripped the scalpel. As the blade pressed against the yellowish belly, she quickly pulled it away.

"I can't!" Hyde chuckled in amusement at the younger girl.

"It can't feel-"

"No, I can't!" She half whined, "I had a pet frog named Hoppy, and Donna's cat Mr. Bonkers ate him. And dad...he just laughed and told me 'that's life!'" Both Hyde and Kelso chuckled at her impression of Bob. Yet he abruptly stopped when seeing her green eyes glower darkly at him. Though she and Donna looked vastly different, they still had that very same angry look.

"All right..." Hyde grumbled, extending his hand. "I'll do it."

Both Jackie and Tina beamed as the raven haired girl handed him her knife.

He had no problem splitting open a paralyzed frog. Hell, when he was younger Hyde would catch snakes and slice them in half with sticks- more in curiosity than cruelty. Cutting open animals gave him an idea of what his insides looked like. It gave him a sort of superior view that he could cause the same harm to a little innocent creature as his dad caused him. The only difference was he always apologized and buried the animals; it made him feel better to know they were resting.

Only now he didn't have feelings. And the feel of the scalpel between his fingers didn't phase him one bit. The frog laying in front of him couldn't feel either, anymore. Hyde's hand quivered ever so slightly as he held the blade to the off-white belly of the frog. He noted Tina had shut her eyes and covered her ears so she wouldn't sense what he was doing.

Quickly, Hyde cut into the stomach of the frog, and held the flap of skin between his index finger and thumb. After stabbing three pins in each half of the split skin, he turned to the two girls.

"Why couldn't you have done that instead of waving it around by its tongue and throwing it out the window?" Kelso asked him. Hyde shrugged and watched as the two sophomores slowly began to step closer to him and their science project.

As Hyde glanced at the youngest Pinciotti sister, he could really notice the difference between her and Donna. Tina was disgusted and very apprehensive to this assignment, whereas Donna had been the first person to dissect and examine the frog. Tina was also timid, the way she held herself screamed "pushover!" to Hyde. Donna, on the other-hand, stood her ground and had a tendency of being slightly manipulative.

"Because, Kelso, you had already lodged the scalpel in the ceiling," he answered gruffly, leaning against the cupboard next to Kelso while Jackie and Tina hesitantly worked on their assignment. Until Jackie stepped away from a cautious Tina and curled herself into her boyfriend.

Glancing out the window, he grimaced and tried his best to ignore the sappy couple. He saw it enough outside of school and he hadn't decided to come in this class room so Kelso could flirt with Jackie.

_'They make me sick,'_ Hyde though, kicking the toe of his too tight boot against the bottom of one of the cupboards. He heard a soft laugh and glanced over at Tina who was eying him, goggles pulled onto her forehead.

"What?" Hyde grumbled, noting her amused smirk. She and Donna were too much alike.

"Is somebody jealous?" Tina sang, glancing over at the shorter tan girl kissing Kelso's cheek. Hyde scoffed and shook his head, sneering at her.

"Is somebody stupid?" He retorted, causing Tina to wrinkle her nose at him.

"No," he smirked and rested his hand against the marble table, before making direct eye contact with Tina Pinciotti.

"Then there's your answer, twerp," Hyde answered with a smirk.

"Michael!" Jackie cried as she giggled. His amused smirk turned to a deep scowl and Tina just raised her eyebrows at him.

"You sure about that?" She teased, Hyde glowered at the young girl and shook his head slowly.

* * *

"So you snuck off and went to Mr. Plant's room... why?" Donna asked an hour and a half later as she picked apart her chicken burrito.

Hyde shrugged his shoulders and took a drink from his orange juice. Though Edna was no longer the lunch lady, he had seen enough to know never eat the school food. The last time he had, he ended up with a bad case of food poisoning. He had been twelve.

"Just felt like it," Hyde answered coolly as he glanced behind him. Kelso, Fez, and Eric were held behind in their class again. Instead of taking the business class that their three other friends took, Hyde and Donna were in independent art. And usually were let out before the bell actually rang for their lunch hour.

"What did you do?" Donna asked him, he just shrugged once more.

"Dissected your sister's frog-"

"You mean he didn't kick- wait... Tina's?" Hyde gave a short nod as he brushed his hand against the pack of cigarettes in his pocket. He bit his lip and sighed; it was getting harder for him not to smoke every two hours. Although he was unaware of his slightly pained facial expression, Donna caught his grimace and cocked her head to the side.

"You okay?" Hyde glanced up at her and blinked.

"Huh?" At that, Donna chuckled and dipped the piece of chicken on her fork in a pool of ranch.

"I just asked if you were okay," He nodded at her question and pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Yeah... just..." he trailed off with a frown. His leg had started bouncing out of restlessness and he sighed heavily. "I need a smoke," he murmured in defeat. Donna smiled sadly at him and he knew exactly what she was thinking. He felt the same way.

"You did during chemistry though," Hyde scoffed at her comment before locking eyes. He watched as she softened; Donna had decided to drop the fight. "If you ever smoke two packs a day, I'll be mad." She grumbled with a smirk. Hyde just laughed softly and was thankful he was wearing his glasses. "You want some gum?" She asked. Hyde raised an eyebrow at the red head sitting across from him. "I heard gum helps stop cravings, or they aren't as bad..."

"Huh..." he trailed off, taking the piece of spearmint gum that Donna offered. He popped it in his mouth like he did the pills he stole from Mrs. Forman's medicine cabinet every morning. "Thanks." She nodded before sliding the pack of gum back into her jeans pocket.

"So... you saw my sister?" Donna piped up, Hyde nodded as he flipped the orange cap of his orange juice repeatedly.

"Yup, she told me about Hoppy," Donna shook her head as she tried not to laugh. He smiled at the light that glittered in her eyes; it had been awhile since she was happy.

"She still- Eric!" Hyde startled at the sharp cry from his friend sitting in front of him. He craned his head around to see what she had shrieked about. As he caught sight of his de-facto brother, a dark scowl etched his lips.

His stomach knotted uneasily as he watched the lanky teen limp toward them. A dark bruise had begun to form around his eye and he was sporting a split lip that bled heavily. Dried blood caked the tear on his lower lip and chin, making him look as if he had just eaten something very bloody. Hyde's entire body tensed as he saw his best friend about to fall over from pain and shock, with Fez giving him as much support as possible. The boy carrying Eric's wait appeared shell-shocked and quite pale, considering his dark skin tone.

"Eric, what happened?" Donna cried helped Fez sit him down next to her. She squeezed Eric's hand and her boyfriend just shook his head. Hyde just stared at his foster brother with a grimace and a queasy stomach.

"It was no-"

"Bull, Forman!" Hyde barked angrily, surprising everyone. His fists were tightly clenched under the table. Donna shot him a dark glare before handing Eric her napkin. He placed it on his lip and an immediate red stain began to soak through.

"Eric, who did this?" He just shrugged and took a carrot stick from Donna's tray.

"I just-"

"It was a couple of seniors. I do not know their names," Fez murmured too quickly, Hyde raised an eyebrow at the smaller boy.

"Why?" Donna asked softly, "Eric, you should go to the nurse, your lip is bleeding awful!" Eric scoffed and shook his girlfriend off of him while he folded the napkin over.

"It's not like they'll do anything. A couple of scrapes aren't important." Hyde listened very closer as his older friend argued. He had a point, just not a strong one. Each time Eric tried to change the subject, much to no avail, Hyde's expression darkened.

He remembered back in junior high when this was common for Eric. He was bullied because he wasn't "cool." It hadn't happened often yet it scared them all at one point. No one would help him, not even the teachers. So Hyde took it upon himself to renew the position of "hired gun." Except that was three years ago. It wasn't supposed to happen now, they were at the top of the school and yet he was getting the crap beaten out of him.

"Forman," Hyde mumbled from his seat. His three friends turned to him and waited for him to continue. By the looks on their faces, he knew they were expecting either blunt anger or harsh words. But he was angry and he had a right. The fury and sympathy he felt as he watched Eric's right eye swell shut would be justified.

"Who was it?" Hyde finally asked nonchalantly with a blank face. Even though he asked, he had a good idea as to who it was.

"Hyde, man it doesn't-" he rolled his eyes at Eric's defense.

"'_It doesn't matter,'_ yeah, I know." Hyde grumbled, jagged nails digging into the pal of his hand from their tightly clenched grip. He was the king of "it doesn't matter," Eric couldn't use that bull crap on him. He knew what it was like to shrug off bullying/abuse and make it seem as if it were as normal as taking a piss. But it wasn't, and it felt like a brand to his insides, white hot, as Eric fell into his very own habits.

"It was Alan Johns," Fez blurted, much to the furious glare of Eric. Hyde's grimace deepened; his suspicions were right. The varsity full-back had tormented Eric and even Hyde when they were in junior high. That was because they were the only two who hadn't tried out for football. Now Hyde didn't know what the senior's problem was with Eric.

"Wait, Alan?" Donna asked with shock heavy in her voice. The four glanced to the table that was crammed with bulky jocks wearing their green and white lettered jackets. Fez nodded sadly and picked at his green beans. "Eric, I thought he stopped that!"

"Donna!" Her boyfriend nearly shouted. Hyde's ears perked at the anger and shame in his brother's voice. "Just leave it," he mumbled much softer, clutching his hand. Hyde noted the scrapes on his knuckles and smirked.

"You hit him?" He asked, Eric stared down at his hand, slowly outstretching his fingers. His lanky friend slowly looked up at Hyde and grinned, only to wince in pain. After Eric nodded, Hyde felt a little of his anger wash a way; but only a little. "Nice!" He applauded, yet fought against his inner monologue.

He had a better idea of revenge than a simple punch in the lunch room. He just had to wait for the right moment.

Hyde's mind slowly slipped him away from the conversation his three friends were having. His eyes glazed over as he gazed blankly at the table. They had abruptly changed the conversation to some English assignment rather than the shiner on Forman's eye.

But Hyde held grudges. He didn't forgive or forget unlike each one of his friends. He remembered how bad Alan had gotten the past years. While it was only minor compared to what Hyde went through, it was the most violence Eric had probably felt and witnessed. After all, the football player broke the skinny boy's foot. And for some reason, he was picking on Eric once again. And he was regressing into a guarded state much like Hyde's. And he hated it. Eric wasn't the angry type, he was the smart mouth.

But for now he'd shove it to the back of his mind. He'd let it simmer for a couple of hours until it boiled over. Eric didn't want a scene, so he wasn't going to create one. That wasn't Steven Hyde's style.

* * *

An hour later, Hyde's foot tapped absentmindedly to the drum line's solo. He crossed his arms and watched the marching band perform. He was only here for one reason, he just needed to be patient. But the increasing headache made it difficult for the seventeen-year-old to keep his cool.

"I don't know why he's playing," Donna murmured in Hyde's ear as she leaned to him. He just shrugged and cursed the horn section as they blared their loud and shrill trumpets. They glanced at Eric who was playing the rhythm with the other alto saxophones. The two friends noted the discomfort etched onto his pallid face.

"Same as why I kept lying, Kid." Donna looked over at him, mischief gleaming in her eyes.

"He's a masochist?" Hyde's bare eyes glared into hers and immediately the joking smile was washed from her face. "I was kidding, Hyde, I swear. I'm sorry."

Instead of sending back a witty retort, Hyde watched as the line of football players ran passed him. This was the only pep rally Hyde had ever attended and it was causing him a killer headache. But it was important for his plan to get back at Alan. "Mission: Put Asshole Jock In His Place" was in effect, "Step One: Tar and Feather."

"Hyde, I mean it... I am so-" he tuned out the red-head sitting next to him, knowing that she'd just continue to apologize until he said "whatever" or "that's cool." He was too busy to even nod; he had to time this just right.

The line running passed them was smaller, and Hyde smirked. The stocky full back that had become Hyde's target of the day held his helmet in hand and took a proud step forward.

"And number 74..." Their coach trailed off as Alan started running. In the midst of the cheerleaders synchronizing their moves, the other members of the team whooping and hollering, and the ceaseless drum roll, Hyde yawned.

Alan's slow jog came closer and closer to Hyde an Donna's section. The seventeen year old rolled back his shoulders and stretched his arms. "Alan Johns!" Cheers erupted from the crowd, yet the pair remained silent. Hyde glanced at Donna who glared at the boy who ran passed her.

Hyde's leg straightened as he stretched the rest of his body. As he twisted his ankle in a full circle, he felt the collision of Alan's cleats against his boot. He smirked, watching as the stocky football player toppled to the ground in a heap.

The entire audience was silent as they stared in shock at what just happened. Teachers were frozen, unsure of what to do, and students were quietly whispering to one another. The band had even set down their instruments. Hyde tried his hardest not to grin at the reaction; this was better than he thought.

"Hyde!" Donna gasped, staring in shock at him. He chose to ignore her quiet outburst and stared at the full back laying on his foot.

"You're hurting my foot," he piped up flatly, wiggling it from under Alan's weight. The senior looked up and glared at the curly haired teen, Hyde couldn't help but notice the clenched fists and the scowl on his grass stained face.

"I'm gonna-"

Hyde felt a violent tug on his t-shirt, and he snapped his head back to see who was pulling him. His eyebrows narrowed when seeing the vice principal and he scowled.

"Yes?" He asked innocently, getting a disgusted scoff from the man.

"You're coming with me," Mr. Alberts hissed. Donna's wide eyes stared as Hyde balled his fist and pulled himself out of the man's grasp.

He felt all eyes on him as he stood up and followed behind the vice principal. Hyde rolled his eyes and looped his thumbs under both of his pockets on his jeans.

"Just what on earth were you thinking?" Mr. Alberts asked him sternly, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and kept his eyes peeled to the ground. He could hear the band pick up once again and the student body cheer once more. Probably because he left. "You're gonna give me more than a shrug and an eye-roll, Mr. Hyde." Hyde raised an eyebrows and scoffed.

"Ohl, am I?" He asked incredulously, casting a glare at the heavy set man walking in front of him.

Hyde was used to the harsh treatment from the administration, he had given himself a name during his junior high days, and he liked to keep that role of "rebel." If they thought they could pin him down, they were sorely mistaken. The verbal harassment they would spew wouldn't be the worst he's ever heard. And if they ever tried physical crap then _he'd_ be leaving the school in handcuffs.

He knew he was going to be in trouble, as the staff didn't trust anyone of the student body if they weren't on honor roll or on the varsity teams. Too bad he was neither.

Hyde made his way into the cheaply decorated secretary's office. With his hands playing with the carton of cigarettes and lighter deep in his pockets, he walked slowly down the small hall that lead to the vice principal, prinicpal, and superintendent's offices, as well as the board room. Instead of going into Mr. Alberts's small room, he was lead to Principal Pridewell's office, and took a seat on the overstuffed yet uncomfortable chairs.

"Mr. Pridewell will return after the pep rally to approve of the punishment I see fit for you," Hyde scoffed at the middle-aged man with a beer belly in front of him. "Now, care to tell me why you allegedly tripped our star player?"

Hyde remained silent as he stared passed Mr. Alberts. His eyes caught a hanging plant on the ceiling, and he was trying to see if he could find any of his kind of herb in the midst of the long leaves. He could imagine all of the faculty getting high in their stupid teacher's lounge as they drink their black coffee and shove donuts down their over-gorged mouths, into the bottomless pits they call "stomachs." After all, they allowed Edna to work at the school.

"Mr. Hyde, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"He deserved it," Hyde grumbled, keeping his gaze from the mustached man, although he was wearing his sunglasses. He didn't want to hear "Mr." attached to his name; he'd prefer Steven of "Mr. Hyde." That's not who he was; he wasn't Bud.

He heard Mr. Alberts resituate himself as he sat on the large desk. He found it amusing that the teachers and higher staff could break their own rules; they weren't setting good examples for their perfect students, now were they?

"And why do you think he deserved it?" Hyde shook his head and scoffed once more. No matter what he'd say he'd still land with a minimum of a three day out of school suspension. At that thought, his stomach squirmed. What would the Forman's say?

"You let your varsity zombies run around and act like they're big shots when really they're just the same as everyone else, except with a stupid letter stitched onto an overpriced jacket. You completely ignore the fact that he's a complete moron who likes to beat up the actual good students, yet bring the so called "bad kid" to justice when you see him retaliate. Who's to say I didn't do the right thing?" Hyde barked, watching as Mr. Alberts scribbled onto a notepad.

"I am the one to say you didn't do the right thing. Whether or not Alan was bullying another student doesn't pertain to this-"

"Bull! You're gonna let your cattle continue to hurt my friends for... God knows why? This is completely bull sh-"

"If you finish your sentence you're getting suspended," Mr. Alberts warned, staring darkly at Hyde with his beady eyes. Hyde's jaw loosened as he folded his arms across his stomach. With a raised eyebrow, he opened his mouth.

"Shit." He emphasized every letter in the four letter word with a smug smirk on his face. He watched as the vice principal fought to keep his cool, especially watching the young teen's lack of emotion. This was to prove to the school that he didn't give a rat's ass about their damn consequences. They were one-sided, anyway; it's not like they were actually going to listen to the poor orphan boy's reasoning. He didn't have parents to back him up, whether they were absent or not.

"All right, Steven Hyde, you've just landed yourself a week of out-of-school suspension, with two weeks of in-school-suspension upon your return. Any comments at all will result in four hours of detention as well."

"Whatever," Hyde hissed, standing up. Mr. Alberts shook his head violently as he wrote down another sentence. He started out of the room, when he heard the older man clear his throat.

"Where do you think you're going?" He asked incredulously. Hyde gave him a 'you're fucking stupid,' expression as he responded.

"Home," he grumbled, opening the door to the office, and slamming it as hard as he could on the way out. He heard a loud thud, following a crash, and smirked.

* * *

"The school is so twisted, man! With their cliques and the zombie administration who don't give two shits about the kids unless they want to bang 'em. To silence me and my right to protest bullying? I will not stand for this!" Hyde cried angrily two hours later as he slammed the basement door shut after his consequential chores. For once, all eyes were on him.

After hearing his final ruling, he had walked all the way to the Forman's from the school and silently made his way into the basement so Red couldn't hear him. While Hyde slept on the couch, the very man walked down the basement steps and found the teen napping with a melted popsicle in hand. Hyde was rudely awoken by Mr. Forman shouting at him to get up and explain what his dumbass self did. After Hyde finished a very quiet and short retelling of what happened at school, he earned being grounded for a month on top of an hour long lecture. Everyone had arrived at the Forman's home to see a perfectly swept garage and Hyde mowing the lawn.

"And what does Alan get? A damn trophy and MIP of the season. It's fucking ridiculous how the staff is so blinded by some of the worst student's high achievements. Yet they punish the underdogs for doing the right thing!" Hyde cried, resting his arms on the head of the couch. Eric turned, his black eye completely swelling his eye shut, and his lip swollen twice it's normal size.

"Well, Hyde, you weren't really silenced, and you resorted to vi-"

"Shut it, Forman! That's besides the point. The point is, I am so God damn sick of being held down by The Man!" Eric, Kelso, and Fez snickered as Hyde started walking back and forth haughtily.

Hyde scowled as he heard their quiet laughing and pulled out his pack of cigarettes. He groaned loudly when noticing he only had three left- and one was a joint. "Dammit," he growled, pulling out his lighter.

"So how much trouble did you get in?" He heard Eric ask, causing him to scoff in between his draw.

"I don't care about the punishment, hell I'm shocked I'm not expelled by now-"

"I'm sure it's crossed their minds..." Eric interrupted. Hyde glowered at Eric as he balled his fist; his friends weren't helping.

"Get bent!" Hyde barked, "what I'm pissed about this the reason why-"

"Well, his ankle is tw-" Hyde pulled back his arm and frogged Kelso on his shoulder roughly. The older teen gasped loudly and rubbed the spot where he had been hit. "I was telling the truth!" Hyde shook his head in annoyance and took a long draw from the cigarette held in his hand. Jackie plugged her nose as he expelled the smoke from his mouth, and he scoffed.

"Well Red looked pretty pissed..." Fez mumbled softly, looking at Hyde with wide eyes.

"He always looks like that, Fez," Eric told him. Their foreign friend looked at the scrawny teen and paused, before shrugging and nodding.

"Very true! He chirped, Hyde rolled his eyes and took a deep breath as he breathed in the warm smoke once more. He hoped this would help calm him.

"I got a week OSS, two weeks ISS, and four hours of detention." Hyde finally mumbled, resulting in four mouths gaping like fish out of water. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and took a seat on his normal chair. Their shocked eyes followed him as he did so, and they had no means of turning away.

"Dude... how did Red not kill you?" Eric practically screamed. Hyde shrugged once more and stretched out his legs, trying to ignore the tightness of his too small boots.

"He likes me more than you," When hearing Kelso and Fez giggle quietly at his response, Hyde felt himself relax.

He was glad to be back home, sitting and doing absolutely nothing with his friends. After a day full of more crap than usual, he felt like chugging down a case of beer and smoking all of the green he had hidden in the basement. And while that still sounded like a good idea, he felt better just spending time with his friends. Though he didn't want to even think it, he didn't know what he'd do without them.

Truth be told, he was extremely shocked Red hadn't literally attempted to shove his foot up his ass. He had been prepared for tons of "ass" words being thrown throughout the entire lecture he had been given. Yet not even one curse word flew out of the middle-aged man's mouth. And if it had been Eric, then they'd probably have a very small butt mounted in the living room in a matter of five seconds.

What hurt the most was what Red said. While there weren't any asses thrown about, Red knew how to hit home to Hyde. He must have paid attention to the teen all these years rather than ignore him like Hyde figured he did. And Hyde wasn't prepared to hear that Red Forman was disappointed in him, Steven Hyde. Like the man actually saw potential in him. Hyde almost felt sick when he realized he had let his strongest father figure down.

Before Eric could respond, furious footsteps pounded on the outside stairs leading to the basement. The door quickly opened, revealing blazing windblown hair and a frenzied Donna to match.

"Eric, we need to talk," Donna blurted softly. A chorus of "oohs" and one "burn!" were heard throughout the basement. Hyde watched as Eric's face lost all color, and he smirked. "You know how we scheduled our date tonight?"

"Yeah, we were going to go to that new Italian restaurant in Kenosha." Donna sighed and sat down next to her boyfriend and bit her lip.

"I got a call from the editor of the school newspaper; Andrew Rollins was supposed to write an article on the homecoming game tonight, but he can't go. So I was asked if I would write the article!"

"So we're not going on our date?" Eric asked sadly, Hyde suppressed his chuckles as Donna's expression mixed with various emotions.

"I'm sorry, Eric... but this is really important. This will be the main article, and this will really help me! We can go tomorrow night, right?"

"But the coupon I got is only for tonight!"

Hyde felt his laugh tear through his tightly pressed lips. He was used to hearing the excuses that cancelled all of the couples' dates. Most of the conversations in the basement were about relationships. But hearing Eric protest not going out because he had a coupon was absolutely hilarious to Hyde. He could be such a girl sometimes.

"What? I'm not worth paying the full price?" Thankfully Hyde was wearing his sunglasses so he could roll his eyes without being hit by the junior varsity wrestler.

_'Here we go again...'_ he thought, leaning his head back to rest on the chair as he stared at the ceiling. If it wasn't Donna and Eric fighting, it was Jackie and Kelso, if not both couples at the same time. And then Fez would somehow end up in the fights, leaving Hyde to grit his teeth and tune everyone out.

He didn't know how long they had been fighting, but now his name as well as Kelso's was brought up in the bickering. His ears perked at Eric's raised voice and he actually attempted to halfway listen to what his angered de-facto brother said.

"-are going, too!"

"What? Eric, not fair!" Kelso cried, Hyde turned his attention to Donna.

"What did I just get dragged in to?" Hyde asked suspiciously, catching Eric's livid yet defeated eyes. He noticed Jackie was sitting next to Kelso with her mouth hidden behind her hands with shoulders slightly shaking.

"You're going to the football game," she answered him with a muffled voice full of amusement. Hyde's eyebrows furrowed and his jaw dropped as he whipped his head back to Donna.

"Oh no, no way in hell am I doing that." Hyde grumbled defiantly. Donna crossed her arms and smiled smugly at Eric when hearing Hyde's remark.

"Yes you are," Eric hissed matter-of-factly. He laughed sarcastically and stretched his legs on the round table in front of him.

"I'm not going to a football game for that damn school just because you're too chicken to stand up to your girlfriend."

"I am not chicken!" Eric cried, Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes.

"Whatever, man, then say "no" to her," he dared with a raised eyebrow. Eric looked between him and Donna, who both wore the same expression. When Eric finally closed his mouth and sat down in a huff of defeat, Jackie grinned. Hyde watched as she stood up in her cheerleader uniform and started walking to the door.

"If we're all going to the game it starts in twenty minutes and _we_," she pointed to Donna and herself, "have to be there early. Eric, you're driving us, _now_." A chorus of deep sighs of annoyance and hesitance filled the room as the four teen boys slowly stood up, following the two girls out of the basement.

* * *

Hyde swatted a buzzing mosquito away from his ear and groaned loudly in annoyance. As he sat on the uncomfortable metal bleachers, he kicked his feet onto the row below him, in between a group of loudly cheering freshman. The only thing that made this slightly enjoyable was the ice cold beer can in his hand. Granted his shin was bruised after Jackie kicked him when she caught him grabbing the very same can he had earlier hidden in her purse as they arrived.

The loud cheers from the other team filled his ears to match the insects flying by him made him smirk. The Vikings were down six points against the Somers Crusaders. For their homecoming game, they were sucking more than ever.

"We're going to lose anyway, can't we just go?" Kelso asked him as the older boy hugged himself for warmth. Hyde nodded slowly and sighed, wishing that they could do just that. Yet they had a quarter and a half to go, plus half-time.

"We could, but I'm not walking all the way home." He had gotten used to referring as "The Forman's house" as his home; it had come with staying there for over a month now. And surprisingly no one made fun of him for it.

Kelso sighed and nodded before resting his head on his bent hands. Hyde scowled and stared with bare eyes at the green field in front of him. He watched as the Crusaders intercepted a pass on the twenty-yard line and shook his head.

"So Donna... what're you gonna write for the headline?_ 'Vikings Suck Again?'_" Hyde asked with a chuckle.

Hyde's smirk grew into a grin when he saw Donna's own smile fight against the slow shaking of her head. She chuckled softly before turning her attention back to the game. Hyde sighed deeply before taking another swig of his beer.

"Look at them, they don't have a clue what they're doing, I swear Forman would be a better player." Hyde grumbled angrily, earning a glower from Eric who was still bothered from their earlier argument.

"Eric take that as a compliment!" Fez chirped, patting the skinny boy on the shoulder. Hyde gave a nod to Fez who held his silver and green glitter pom-poms he had made for every home game.

Hyde's eyes found their way to the scoreboard, watching every second clock closer and closer to half time. After that, only a half an hour more of this torture and he could be out of here.

Five minutes had ever so slowly passed on Hyde's watch, and he grew restless. There were still seven minutes left in this quarter. Could someone put him out of his misery?

"- Defense! Push em back..." Hyde's ears caught the sound of the cheerleaders as they chanted during the time out that the Vikings had called. As grating as their high-pitched cat-like voices were, his eyes fell on the group of ten girls as they kicked their legs before running to form a pyramid. He watched as the conspicuous girl with raven curls stood at the second to the top, arms bent perfectly straight as they held the petite cheer-leading captain on the palm of her hand; she had to be stronger than he thought. And as she somersaulted off of the third row's backs, her skirt raised to show her tanned thighs.

"Ai... I am jealous of her too, to be able to somersault and jump at the same time; it takes true talent." Fez murmured in Hyde's ear. The curly haired teen shook his head and eyed Fez strangely.

"What are you talking about?" Hyde asked, feigning confusion in his voice. Without his shades he lacked half of his zen. Fez just stared at him blankly while taking a sip from his hot cocoa.

"I saw you watching Jackie," Hyde rolled his eyes and scoffed before shifting his gaze to the clock. Had he really watched her for three minutes?

_'Man time flies...' _his thoughts trailed off, yet he turned back to Fez.

"No, I was looking at Kat, she has the best butt of them all," Hyde countered, causing Fez to nod violently in agreement.

Hyde reverted back into his silent sanctum as his bored eyes continued to stare at the pack of over-dramatic girls in short skirts. It was better than staring at the guys in too tight pants. He crossed his arms over his knees as he bent them, and rested his head on his forearms as he closed his eyes. Unfortunately, he had left his sunglasses in the Vista Cruiser and the bright lights to light the field also seeped through his eyelids.

"Hyde!" Kelso whispered loudly, "I have an idea!" He opened his eyes and grunted softly to let Kelso know he was paying attention. "We can do something to help us and Donna!"

"What are you talking about?" He finally asked flatly, much to the excitement of Kelso.

"We're bored, this game sucks and Donna needs a story for the paper, right?" Kelso murmured, Hyde gave a nod, urging him to continue. "You know how the band plays on the field during half time? Well... why don't we streak!"

Hyde slowly turned to face Kelso with a blank expression on his face. That was probably the stupidest, most cliche thing to ever suggest at a football game, or any sports game.

"That's the stupidest idea ever, man..." Hyde grumbled, swirling the beer in his hand. A smirk raised his lips as he glanced back up at his friend. "Let's do it."

"All right!" Kelso exclaimed loudly, causing students and parents watching the game to turn in confusion at the four sitting in the center of the stands. Hyde curled his hand in a fist and punched him on the shoulder before rolling his eyes in annoyance.

As the two stood up, Hyde heard Donna groan and say to Fez, "Oh God..." before he leaped off the edge of the bleachers. He landed on his feet from the eight foot drop, knees popping loudly as he did so. When he righted himself, he found himself waiting for Kelso who was weeding himself through the sitting audience.

Hyde sighed and felt his hands itching to dig in his pockets and pull out a cigarette, yet ignored the constant craving of his. He watched as Kelso cautiously stepped over a lounging man's outstretched legs before nearing the edge of the first bleacher.

Once more, Hyde found himself slinking off far away from the crowd, to the lining of trees at the end of the stadium to do something borderline moronic with Kelso. That and cigarettes seemed to be the only two things getting him by today.

As they silently crept into the tall grass and thinly wooded area, Hyde heard the announcement over the loudspeakers that half time was beginning. He also listened to the distant cheering of the ten girls, and the band warming up for their ten minute performance.

"So we're going to have to run to the field, which is about fifty yards, give or take, down the hundred yards of the field-" Kelso began as Hyde started to wriggle out of his shirt behind "his" tree.

"Kelso, don't talk to me." Hyde growled quietly.

"Why not?" His friend cried, Hyde groaned in aggravation and contemplated hitting his head on the tree trunk. "I am planning our-"

"Why do we have to plan streaking? We run like hell, then come back here and get our clothes and act like nothing happened."

"Fiiine," Kelso whined, grumbling to himself as he undressed. Hyde shook his head as he kicked off his boots and set his socks inside of his shoes.

Hyde scratched at the bandage that covered his bicep and began to pick at the adhesive tape holding it to his skin. He hissed in slight pain as he ripped off the gauze and tape, showing a barely swollen and scabbed gash from the previous week's adventure. He didn't want the conspicuous white bandage to be the thing the crowd ogled.

Hyde quickly pulled off his ripped jeans and folded them haphazardly before tossing them on the low tree limb. He heard Kelso cry out before hearing a loud thud and rustling of tall grass; causing the seventeen year old to chuckle in slight amusement.

"You ready to run like a bat outta hell?" Hyde asked Kelso as they peered at the football field. Kelso laughed and nodded with a goofy grin. "What?"

"You said that when we did this last year!" Hyde grinned and rolled his eyes once more before taking a deep breath. "Why can't it be rabbits?"

"Because rabbits... whatever. And you better not fall again. If you do, I'm not gonna go back and help you." Hyde warned, Kelso nodded and puffed out his cheeks in nervousness.

"Okay, I won't fall, now let's do this!" Hyde held up his hand and counted down from five to one with his fingers. Both of them stood, ready to charge down the field faster than any football player ever ran.

The trumpets played their solo for Point Place's school song by the time Hyde placed his four fingers down. He and Kelso grinned at each other before zipping out of the tree line, stark naked. He had forgotten about the bright lights.

Hyde could hear Kelso laughing as he passed him, running down the sixty yard line. The audience above were gasping and murmuring as the two streaking boys passed the marching band, who had quit playing as they watched in awe.

Hyde slowed and stopped at the fifty-yard line and stared toward the coach, refs, principal and vice principal all standing at the sidelines. He exhaled loudly before raising his hands, four fingers down and laughing hysterically. Kelso had fallen back as well, unable to contain his own giggles.

"VIKINGS CAN SUCK MY DICK!" Hyde shouted at the top of his lungs, watching as Principal Pridewell and Mr. Alberts started toward him. Hyde took off once more, leaving Kelso behind him, and felt empowered by the Crusaders section cheering.

Hyde's feet were practically on the air half the time as he darted down the rest of the fifty yards, passed the laughing and murmuring long line of people at the concession stands, and behind the bleachers. He could hear Kelso's slower footsteps pounding behind him as Hyde lead the way back to their clothes.

He slowed to a jog as he neared the tree line and quickly found privacy behind his tree. Hyde fumbled in the dark as he redressed himself. He was unable to stifle his quiet laughter as he processed the fact that he and Kelso had streaked, and the audience knew exactly who they were. Unlike the first time that they zipped down the field with ski masks and shouting incoherently.

"Man! That was awesome!" Kelso cried happily in between his laughs from his personal tree.

"Yup," Hyde mumbled, quickly zipping his jeans before fumbling with his belt.

"And you gave Donna a headline!" Hyde couldn't help but laugh at that. He wondered how she'd be able to write that article. For the first time he'd be more than eager to read the school paper.

After pulling on his shirt, Hyde walked out from the tall grass, silently making his way back to the bleachers. Kelso followed behind, most likely wanting to talk. What made their choice to streak so funny to Hyde was that they chose to go sit back down and watch the rest of the game. Or that's what he planned to do until-

Hyde jumped in shock as he felt a strong hand violently pull him back. He graced his shoulders as she pulled back his clenched fist, ready to pop the moron's jaw.

Yet as he saw the furious eyes glaring at him, his shoulders relaxed. He figured he'd get in four times the amount of trouble if eh decked his vice principal. Not that he didn't want to.

"Do you know what kind of trouble you two have gotten yourselves into?" Principal Pridewell asked them with a surprisingly calm voice.

"Uh..." Kelso trailed off.

"You two are no longer able to attend any of our school sponsored games. You also have two weeks of office detentions." Hyde sighed angrily, his jaw unbearably tight as he kept his cool.

Mr. Alberts heard his frustrated exhale and turned sharply to face him with fury etched on every wrinkle.

"Mr. Hyde," Hyde felt himself tense upon hearing the too proper sounding name. "You better be happy we're not expelling you, what with all the trouble you've cause these past-"

"Ron, that's enough," Pridewell interrupted, causing his colleague to hesitantly silence himself. "Now, wil you please exit this football stadium? Or do you need-"

"We got it," Hyde snapped angrily before taking off toward the stairs in an irate cloud.

As he and Kelso started up the steps, the taller of the two turned to his frizzy-haired friend. Hyde knew he wasn't used to seeing him angry, he usually hid it so well.

"Man, we got off lucky," Kelso chirped quietly, hoping that would help Hyde. Yet the younger teen scoffed and shook his head.

"Yeah. Real lucky." Hyde grumbled with a voice full of sarcasm. As he jumped from the last step to the gravel parking lot, he could only think one thing. He'd only be lucky if Red didn't kill him by the end of the night.

* * *

Hyde sighed as he heard the glass cup tink against the table as Mrs. Forman set it down in front of him. Hyde suppressed his quiet laugh as he saw the steam rising from the dark brown drink; hot cocoa. Her feet pattered quickly to the counter, and returned with a plate of oatmeal raisin cookies, probably just as hot as the drink in front of him.

"Now Steven, I won't tell Red, yet you have to tell me; what happened? He told me that you've been suspended outside and in school, and you already have detentions. What did you do?" Kitty asked him, sitting down next to him as she took a sip from her own cocoa. Hyde sighed and shrugged his shoulders, his cold callused hands wrapped around the warm mug.

He wasn't about to tell her that Kelso and him had gone streaking; save his embarrassment. So he'd tell her the other truth. Make it seem like it fit in with what happened earlier that day.

"I dunno..." he began, Kitty sighed and clucked her tongue. She was used to his quiet "I don't know" answers, and she hated them. He knew that. But he knew she hated his shades anymore, which is why they weren't currently resting contently on the bridge of his nose. His eyes remained on the hot cocoa as he opened his mouth to further explain. "I guess I got mad. Donna and I were talking at lunch today, waiting for everyone else. And Fez and For... Eric came in. Fez was practically supporting his weight and he had a black eye and a fat lip and it just made me mad." He heard Kitty gasp in shock.

"That's where he got it? He told me he fell..."

"Mrs. Forman, he used to be bullied in junior high," Hyde blurted, causing his mother's eyes to widen. Suddenly her son's constant bruises made sense. He had just told them he tried out for football to make Red happy; which didn't end that way. "And for some reason it started up again. And you know me... I don't want to see that, 'cause..." he trailed off, feeling his de-facto mom's hand on his, he felt himself ease as he felt her gentle, motherly touch. "I ended up tripping the guy who beat up Eric at the pep rally today, and got the suspensions and detentions. And I guess I'm not allowed to go to football games anymore, and they didn't tell me that. So that's why I got the other detentions." He didn't lie, he just avoided the full truth; and by the looks of it, Kitty Forman bought every word he said.

Since he had been living with the Forman's for a month now, he had gotten used to trying to open up more with Kitty. It's something he knew she worked at; both to help him and for her to know more about her second son. After all she and Eric were very close, she probably wanted him to feel that he had the truth with her as well, that she cared about him just as much as her own son. And he wanted to prove to her that he understood that and trusted her as though she were his own mother, better than his own mother.

"And the school... have they punished the boy who hurt Eric?" Hyde shook his head, this is what angered him the most. Yet he'd keep his frustration level at a minimum with her. He figured she'd be terrified to hear one of his rants.

"No, they didn't listen to me. It's not like they'd believe me, anyway." Kitty sighed and shook her head, smiling sadly at the boy.

"Which isn't fair to you, or Eric. I have a right mind to walk down to that principal's house and show him what happened to my baby and have him apologize to you right now!" Kitty told him, which caused Hyde to smile softly.

"So you believe me?" Hyde asked, Kitty laughed and took a sip from her hot cocoa.

"Of course I do, honey! I don't have a reason not to, you've never lied to me. And besides, we have proof of what happened upstairs," she told him, reminding him of Eric who had said was going to bed. But Hyde knew differently. But she was right with the fact that he had never lied to her, and he would never. She was the mom who actually had his trust and he wouldn't do a damn thing to lose it.

"Yeah..." he trailed off, finally taking a large gulp from the hot cocoa that was warming his hand. And with that trust came his next question. "Mrs. Forman?" He asked her softly, she looked at him, as if to tell him to continue with his question. "Did you uh... get my test back?" Kitty sighed softly and her smile faltered, causing Hyde to hold his breath in fear of what she had to say.

"No, sweetie, not yet." Hyde relaxed and could kiss her with relief. "I promise you that I will let you know as soon as I do get them. I'll even call the school and talk to you on the phone there." Hyde smiled and grabbed a small cookie with a crispier bottom; he liked the slightly burned taste (although she made them like that special for him.)

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman," he murmured, mouthful of oatmeal and raisin. she nodded and took a cookie as well, splitting it in half and setting the smaller piece on the table.

"Between you and me," she started with lit eyes and a smile on her face, "I'm sure you're one hundred percent healthy." Hyde chuckled and stared at his cup half full, then back at the cookie.

"But you have to say that..." he replied, not finishing the rest of his sentence. Kitty beamed and blinked her eyes quickly; he knew she was still sensitive to him trying to calling her "mom." She acted as if her eyes itched and quickly wiped at them before turning back to him, smiling still.

"Well, even though I would say that to make my baby feel better, it's the truth. You're going to be fine, Steven." Hyde smiled and swirled his cup around. "But it's getting late, we should get to bed," Hyde glanced at the clock hanging above the stove and stifled his laugh. 12:30 was not late, to him at least. He did know that Mrs. Forman got up at about 5:30 every morning, though.

Hyde grabbed the two coffee cups and followed her to the kitchen. As she carefully put away the cookies, Hyde dumped the little cocoa that remained in the two cups and poured a tiny bit of soap in the two glasses, then scrubbed at them. He always did a little here and there to help Kitty out. It was more than her own two children did.

After rinsing the two cups, Hyde wiped his wet hands on his jeans, earning a stern look from Kitty. He smiled at her innocently, causing the older woman to shake her head.

"You did that all the time when you were younger," she murmured softly; he knew she was remembering the days when all of her basement babies were running around half the heights they were now. He shrugged his shoulders, unsure of what to say. "Goodnight, Steven," she whispered, hugging him like she usually did. He kissed her cheek as they hugged, and he felt his throat tighten.

"G'night... mom," he whispered almost silently. He heard Kitty's strangled gasp and she smiled, unable to hide tears welled in her eyes now. She kissed his cheek and nodded, taking a deep breath before continuing to talk. Hearing him say the proper term to her would take some time getting used to, for both of them, he knew that.

"Sleep well, try not to wake Eric, okay?" She asked, Hyde chuckled and nodded, slowly following her out of of the kitchen, turning off the light as he pushed the swinging door.

Hyde walked into the living room, with Kitty already heading up the steps. He waited until he knew she was all the way on to the second floor before turning off the light from the ceiling fan. He usually turned that one off because she had trouble reaching it. Hyde, used to the dark, ran straight to the stairs without tripping. His bare feet always awaited the feeling of the soft carpet against the rough and painful blisters caused by the too small boots he forced his feet into.

As he landed on the second floor, he turned off the main light of the hall. There were smaller lights on the ground that Red had installed long ago for night so that if people had to get up, they wouldn't end up bumping into something.

Hyde quietly walked down to the third door on the right, and turned the door knob. He was instantly greeted with a comfortable darkness, except for the glowing blue lava lamp at Eric's desk. Hyde saw the outline of the pajamas he wore last night on his cot, and grabbed the old shirt of his. He had learned the cause of his night sweats were his too-warm pants, so until he got cooler pants to wear, he was wearing his boxers.

Hyde tossed the pair of ripped, worn jeans and his Jimmy Page shirt into the clothes basket closest to him. The old shirt he had was soft with age, and the black cloth had faded to a more dark gray color. Hyde sighed softly and hopped onto the cot, something he had been fearful to do at first yet the old thing was tough. Hyde leaned over the bed and grabbed his guitar case covered with various colors of stickers he stole from concerts or shops. Opening the case, he grabbed out his dark cherry wood acoustic guitar and set it on his lap.

Hyde plucked the in-tune strings quietly, leading to the first chords of "The Battle of Evermore." By ear, translating the mandolin to guitar had been hell for him, yet finally he had it down to a perfect "T." And it was something he was very proud of.

"Oh, throw down your plow and hoe, rest not to lock your homes. Side by side we wait the might of the darkest of them all." Hyde sang softly, in his range rather than Robert Plant's impossible to reach falsetto.

"You sound nothing like him, man," Hyde glanced up and saw Eric standing in the doorway with an amused grin on his face.

"Not trying to," Eric shrugged and closed the door behind him, turning on the light, which caused Hyde to squint from the sudden change of exposure.

"So... what happened? I saw Mr. Alberts and Mr. Pridewell talking to you and Kelso..."

"Nothing," Hyde grumbled, placing his guitar back in the velvet case.

"Well it didn't look like nothing, you looked-"

"Forman, it doesn't matter, okay?" Hyde barked, setting the guitar case under his cot. Eric sighed and sat on his bed. He was used to Hyde's range of moods, this just happened to be a bad night.

"Okay... well... Hyde I just wanted to thank you for standing up for me today. I know it got you in trouble, and I'm sorry it did. But you didn't have to. There's no point, you know that, they don't care." Hyde scoffed and nodded, knowing all too well that what Eric said was the truth.

"I know, but... you know..." he murmured, laying back on his pillow. He heard Eric chuckle and situate on his bed.

"I guess that's what it's like to have a brother stand up for you." It was Hyde's turn to laugh quietly as he heard the words; Eric stepped right into this one. He couldn't not burn him.

"Yeah, gotta stand up for my sister," he replied, earning a fluffy pillow to the face. Hyde sat up and chucked it back at Eric. "Oh a pillow, that hurt!" He exclaimed sarcastically, "I think I'm blind!" He heard Eric try and fail to not snicker, Hyde smiled as he laid back down.

Hyde closed his eyes as he listened to the silence that filled the room. He could hear the faint sound of crickets still chirping outside, and a light wind rattle at the windows. He was thankful for that, he couldn't sleep in silence.

"Hey... Hyde?" The seventeen year old slowly opened his eyes in frustration as he heard Eric's quiet voice.

"...Yeah?" He more stated than asked.

"Thanks." A tiny smile tugged at Hyde's mouth as he closed his eyes once more.

"No problem," he replied, before turning on his side, reaching under his bed. He slowly pulled on the case, bringing it out so he could see the dark wood in the soft blue light from the other side of the room. "That's what brothers are for," he whispered loud enough for Eric to hear, as he continued staring at the box. He fumbled with the key on his makeshift necklace, yet slowly removed his hand as he let go of the box.

A frown settled on Hyde's face as he quickly shoved his grandfather's box back under his cot. Hyde closed his eyes and took a deep breath, thinking of what could be.


	55. Nothingman

_**Hello all! I'm back for another update! Yay! Just wanted to let you know that you're all awesome and I've gotten some reviews that have actually almost made me cry. You're so amazing, people! And in honor of your awesomeness, I present you... the second season in How It Came To Be! And to start it off, I'm writing for one of my all time favorite episodes that I can watch over and over and still laugh; "Laurie and the Professor!" I hope you all enjoy this chapter, or at least I hope I do it a little justice. I will say that there is quite a bit of dialogue but there will be detail, too.**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

* * *

**_Laurie and the Professor_**

_Once divided, nothing left to subtract. Some words when spoken can't be taken back. Walks on his own, with thoughts he can't help thinking. Future's above but in the past he's slow and sinking. Caught a bolt of lightning, cursed the day he let it go. Nothingman, isn't it something? Nothingman... She once believed in every story he had to tell. One day she stiffened, took the other side. Empty stares from each corner of a shared prison cell. One just escapes, one's left inside the well. And he who forgets will be destined to remember. Nothingman; isn't it something? Nothingman. Nothingman; could've been something. Nothingman...  
_

Hyde shut the Forman's bright green front door and sighed heavily. His mind was still in a heavy fog and his eyes shifted lazily.

"Dammit," he mumbled, shaking his head as he wiped his mouth. Dark pink lipstick residue smeared on his pale hand and he scoffed.

Her lips had tasted like cherry and were bright with gloss. They were soft on his own lips and skin as she left a trail of sweet kisses all along his body. And just as they were about to bang the headboards, Sara, the sixteen year old cheerleader, told him her parents had gotten home and didn't want to get caught. He snuck out of her house silently, and probably in worse pain than Fez hiding under the bleachers.

And now he was still flooded with testosterone and lust and no outlet. Hyde struggled to ignore his current issue and dragged himself up the carpeted stairs to the bedroom he and Eric shared. He had walked two miles from Sarah's house to his own. And with too small boots it was torture. As he gently stepped up the last stair and onto the second floor, he headed down the hall to his bedroom.

Opening the door, Hyde realized that Eric wasn't home, and he sighed with relief. He flicked on the light and closed the door before furiously pulling at the brown scuffed boots that clung to his feet. Hyde gritted his teeth as he felt a blister pull as he ripped the shoe from his heel, yet it was a pain he could handle. Hyde tossed his socks into his laundry basket and twisted his ankles around to pop his bones. After feeling and hearing the multiple cracks, he bent down to sift through the last three drawers of Eric's dresser; where his clothes were.

Hyde pulled out a pair of dark gray sweat pants and an old plain black t-shirt. Setting his pajamas on the bed, Hyde unbuckled his black belt and unbuttoned his jeans. He couldn't bring himself to think that he had done this very same thing an hour ago, it would only frustrate him more. With a scowl, he tossed his frayed jeans into the same basket and quickly pulled off his shirt.

His skin still was tender from her furious nipping and sucking all over his torso. As he stared down at his stomach, passed the faint scar that ran down his body, he could see welted bite marks and small, perfectly rounded red bruises formed from Sara's mouth. Hyde exhaled a strangled gasp as his mind slowly went back, imagining her straddling him, rocking ever so slightly as she kissed his chest and stomach.

Hyde tried to calm his racing heart as he wriggled into his pajama shirt. Sitting on his cot, he closed his eyes and slowly leaned back, resting his head on his thin white pillow. As he fought to reach his Zen, he folded his hands on his stomach and took slow, deep breaths. He wasn't the kind of guy who would lose his senses because of a chick. He was laid back and chill, girls didn't do this to him.

_'Unless they're a fucking tease,'_ he thought angrily, causing his scowl to deepen. Hell, he was a teenage boy, crazy hormones were a natural thing and he wasn't about to deny it to himself that he wasn't ever horny.

Hyde's mind was pulled into the haze of his inner wants that lured him to be completely taken over by lust. "Oh fuck it," he mumbled, giving up the battle of him vs. his hormones in overdrive.

Hyde's hands began to slide over his shirt, southward to the band of his pajama pants. As his hand slipped under the elastic cotton of his boxers, the door to the bedroom burst open.

"Hyde! You'll never guess-" Eric abruptly halted as he finally saw the position his roommate was in. "...uh... what're you doing?"

Hyde's fingers curled upward as he scratched the flesh of his lower stomach. He maintained a calm expression as he pulled his hand back up to his shirt and scratched above the cloth.

"My stomach itched," Hyde answered nonchalantly; he figured lying would be better off than a snarky answer.

"Okay then..." Eric trailed off, looking at him skeptically as he sat on his bed. "Man, you'll never guess what just happened!" Eric cried as if the awkward scene hadn't just happened. Hyde smirked.

"You got your period?" He asked, watching as Eric's face reddened in anger. "You got laid when Donna was on the rag!" He suggested once more. Eric's eyes widened in horror as a horrified expression crossed his face. "Fine... you finally got laid?" He asked, a tiny bit more seriously. Hyde raised his eyebrows as he waited for Eric's response, and grimaced as his friend shook his head. "Then I don't want to hear it!" Hyde cried, causing Eric to stare at him in half shock, half entertainment. "The only person getting laid around here is Kelso, and that's Kelso, man!" Eric stifled back his laughter at Hyde's explosion. Now a smug smiled spread across the older teen's face as he looked at his cranky friend.

"I take it you didn't get far with the cheerleader?" Eric questioned, Hyde scoffed and scowled deeply.

"Farther than you and Donna." Eric furrowed his eyebrows and turned his head. Hyde caught sight of a large splotchy area and chuckled at Eric's show and tell.

"Nice?" he questioned, not at all impressed. Donna was just as inexperienced as Eric, if not more. her attempt at a hickey was miserable. yet he knew Eric would wear it like a badge of honor.

"She wouldn't even stop for air, Hyde! She was like a Hoover-vac! It got to the point it hurt!" Hyde tried his hardest not to laugh sarcastically and roll his eyes as he saw his brother's excitement.

"You're giddy over a hickey?" He asked incredulously. He had been getting hickeys when he was twelve, they were old news. He would have been more interested when they were fifteen, but Eric was two years too late.

"It's not stupid! Donna and I went pretty far tonight..." Hyde raised an eyebrow at a beaming Eric. This was going to be good.

"Oh really?" he asked sarcastically, trying to detect if Forman was lying. "What else did you do?" Eric sighed and looked as if he were going to burst from excitement and secret-keeping.

"I dunno if I should tell..." Eric murmured, his cheeks turning pink. Hyde rolled his eyes; he hung out with the most naive people.

"Then I'll just assume all you got was a lousy hickey." He backfired, smirking as Eric fought with himself internally.

"It's not a lousy hickey, it was hot," he argued, wiggling two fingers. Hyde's eyes widened underneath his dark shakes.

"You fingered her!" Hyde exclaimed, then quickly turned to the door to see if the lights were out in the hallway. He didn't want to wake Red or Kitty, especially with that kind of news. As he turned back to face Eric, he saw his friend's wide grin and vigorous nodding; he couldn't help but smile as well. "Well why'd you tell me about the damn hickey?"

"Because, Donna didn't want people to know." Hyde gave a slow nod, unfortunately believing the story. Eric was whipped like the family pig.

"And it was...?" Hyde asked, hoping he'd hear yet another one of Eric's gut-bustingly embarrassing stories.

Hyde found himself being pulled into an almost disgustingly detailed yet hilarious story of his best friend's first encounter with his girlfriend's naughty bits. While he was proud of Eric for finally getting some action, the fact that it was Donna made it different. That was the girl they knew their entire life, the girl who gave Eric wedgies and called him "Foreskin." She was the girl who knew Hyde better than anyone else. He wasn't jealous, just protective.

"-I think we're going to do it soon, I mean... she's been like this for a long time, and it's awesome! I mean, I asked her the other day and she just smiled and shrugged her shoulders then started attacking me. I swear we were going to do it then, but-"

"Have you asked her if there's something wrong?" Hyde piped up.

He knew Donna, probably more than Eric did even though they were dating. Hyde knew when there was something wrong she'd get more physical, he knew even for himself. Her long hugs and resting her head on his shoulder always told him something was bothering her, that something was wrong. Maybe he was the only one who saw it. He had also started to notice she immediately curl up into Eric as soon as she stepped into the basement or lunch room. And hearing about her and Eric's sexual closeness sort of worried him.

"No, why would I do that? I'm finally getting some, Hyde!" Eric cried, flinging himself back on his bed. Hyde scoffed and turned away from Eric, not believing what he was hearing.

"Yeah, and you sound like Kelso." He grumbled angrily as his final statement.

As Hyde tried to fall asleep, he attempted to ignore Eric's groans of frustration. In the end, his pain-filled grunting caused by lack of action grew to be too much for Hyde.

"Dammit Forman! Just go take a shower!" Hyde barked, slamming his face against his cot. To his horror, Eric was out of the room and in the bathroom in a matter of seconds. Suppressing his disgusted shudder, Hyde pulled his pillow over his head and hit his head against his mattress once more.

_'Something has to change...'_ he thought miserably, tugging tighter on the pillow.

* * *

The sharp pounding in his head caused Hyde to slowly open his eyes. His head ached so much that his stomach was queasy. It was almost as if he had a hangover without the alcohol. And it was all thanks to Forman who couldn't shut up about his sexual endeavors.

Hyde pulled the pillow off of his head and slowly looked toward Eric's digital alarm clock. When reading the early, yet late time, Hyde shot up from his bed and dashed out of the door. He didn't want to deal with a swift kick to the ass with a near-migraine.

As he thudded down the stairs furiously, he could hear Kitty's happy voice as she talked to Eric, and his shrill voice trying to deny yet another something. By the time Hyde was downstairs, he was sluggishly dragging himself; he used what was left of his energy to make it known that he was awake.

"It's a birthmark, I swear! I've had it since birth!" Hyde held back the half laugh/half groan as he entered the kitchen. "Good morning, class," he mumbled, his voice rough from sleep. The sun, gleaming in from the sliding glass doors was bright; he wanted his shades. The smell of coffee awoke his senses.

_'To the coffee pot!'_ he thought, walking to the counter.

"Oh, look who it is... good morning, Orphan." Laurie drawled, Hyde was too tired for her childish remarks. He poured the last bit of coffee into the cup left at the side of the counter.

"Good morning..." he replied, sliding passed Red as he left the room. Laurie smirked at him with satisfaction.

"That all you got?" She asked, sounding halfway surprised. Hyde waited until Red was out of ear-shot and Kitty was distracted with running the dishwater.

"Whore," he yawned, setting down his pale yellow coffee mug and collapsed in his usual kitchen chair.

"Mom! Did you hear him? He called me a whore!" Hyde waited for his scolding from Mrs. Forman after her daughter tattled. Yet the laugh from the older woman caused him to smile smugly, taunting Laurie.

"Yeah... Steven, you don't need to be drinking coffee." Kitty told him, Eric and Hyde shared grins as Laurie's jaw dropped. Nothing like a mom-burn. "Why don't you have some juice instead?"

"Mrs. Forman... I need coffee." Eric glared at Hyde as he paused momentarily. "Your son thought it'd be funny to keep me up all night talking about his hickey." While the hickey wasn't all Eric talked about, that's what Laurie and Kitty knew about. He wasn't going to be that mean to him.

The glare from Eric caused Laurie to smile appreciatively at Hyde. They had each ragged enough on him, now he could counter attack both of the Forman siblings, and he was going to do exactly that.

"I'm leaving now..." Eric grumbled angrily, tossing his plate on the counter on his way out. Hyde shrugged at Mrs. Forman's concerned expression. Laurie looked between Hyde and her mother and stood up too.

"Me too, I don't want to be around the Little Orphan A-hole," Hyde scoffed and watched as his foster sister started out of the kitchen.

"Well I don't want to be around you either, last time I was, you... sorry Mrs. Forman," he mumbled when catching her skeptic eye. She smiled sweetly at him and nodded before soaking the unattended dishes in the hot sudsy water.

"So Steven... are you hungry?" Hyde shook his head, he didn't want her to have to clean another plate. And she already had breakfast put away. He could wait until lunch; he'd gone days without food before, he could live.

"No, thanks though," he mumbled, taking the last gulp of his black coffee before joining her in the kitchen. After breakfast was when they had their bonding time; it had become a pat of the day for him. He'd hang back for awhile and help her clean the room and they'd just... talk. It was nice; though he wouldn't admit it.

In silence, Hyde began to wash the dishes that she had been unwilling to start. He knew that was her least favorite chore, as it was the last thing she did; which is why he had ended up taking over. One less thing Mrs. Forman had to do, at least.

He learned that when Kitty was alone cleaning the kitchen or preparing meals, she would hum or sing to herself. And in a way to show her contentment, she would sort of dance as she wiped the counters or put a casserole dish in the oven. That was probably something her children never saw, he didn't even know if Red was aware of her solitary entertainment.

Sometimes she would play music too. It was the older 1950's and '60's music that they always played in the car on their trips. She'd also listen to jazz and swing, and as she'd dance, he realized she was probably in her own little world; back in the times where that was the 'hip' kind of music. And for that reason, he grew to almost like the Frank Sinatra and Louis Armstrong.

"Thank you for doing the dishes, honey," Kitty chirped as she swept the floor. Hyde nodded and dried his hands with the towel hanging on the stove handle.

"Not a problem." She'd always start out talking by thanking him for whatever chore he did. He didn't feel he deserved the gratitude, he owed her so much more than a simple "thank you."

"Last night after I got off work, one of the other nurses handed me a letter..." She began, Hyde's ears perked, what importance was his? "I opened it when I got home, and it turned out to be your blood test results." Hyde felt his stomach drop at her solemn expression. Oh God... he had a disease. He had spent his whole life trying to be the opposite of Edna, yet it all found a way to come back and haunt him. "Steven, you're negative for any... illnesses..." Kitty carefully chose her words, not wanting to go into the whole "sexually transmitted" part.

When Hyde heard her words, his heart seemed to stop. He couldn't believe it. Well, he could, but he had been expecting to get some infection from the blade. It was as if a weight had just flown right off his shoulders, but he only nodded coolly.

"Cool..." he began with a nonchalant tone, much to the knowing eye of Mrs. Forman. "I was sure-" Hyde was interrupted by a tight hug that nearly suffocated him. He didn't have to hide his happiness, especially with Mrs. Forman; that was her way of telling him that.

He tried to hold back the grin that pulled at his lips, yet he failed miserably. He had been waiting two weeks to find out whether or not it was healthy, to the point it made him sick. And to know he didn't have to worry about anything happening to him for the time being was such a relief. Ever since he lived at the Forman's, his old concerns had slowly been diminished by his faith and trust in the family. He didn't have to worry about getting diseases or beat to a pulp, didn't have to worry about whether or not he'd have heat in the middle of January. He didn't have to worry about his drunk and high biological mother and her slew of "uncles," or when he'd be able to eat again. He had everything he could ever imagine with the Formans.

Hyde wrapped his arms around Kitty in a rare hug that he most often shared with her. He kissed her forehead and sighed happily.

"Thank you," he whispered, she laughed sweetly and nodded, patting his shoulder before they separated.

"I didn't do anything, dear," Mrs. Forman responded, causing Hyde to laugh. If only she knew how much everything meant to him.

After a quick kiss on the cheek from his mom, Hyde hurried out of the kitchen and to the basement stairs. He waited at the top as he listened to Jackie's shrill voice; he didn't want to go down there and face another one of her daily dilemmas. He was a good mood and he didn't want the shallow bitch to ruin it.

Hesitantly, Hyde silently walked down the stairs, catching the end of Jackie's air-less speech and Eric's sarcastic gratitude.

"-Did you have to tell everyone about the hickey?" Hyde smirked as he heard Donna's question of frustration. If only she knew that someone else knew about what she and a certain scrawny little neighbor boy did. That would really get her panties in a twist.

"Well, everyone can kind of see it, Vampira." Eric grumbled as Hyde reached the bottom of the stairs. Donna smiled weakly as he entered the basement. "Laurie had a field day at breakfast!"

"Yeah, I hopped on that dogpile, too." Hyde chirped proudly. Eric slowly turned around and glared at him angrily.

"You sure did, you dillhole." Eric growled, Hyde rolled his eyes and walked closer to Eric.

Eric seemed to think he had the bad end of this. Hyde had to deal with a chick who was a complete tease, then he was forced to listen to Eric's retelling of his action-filled night with his red-headed neighbor. On top of that, Hyde had to suffer through Eric's snoring, mumbling, and disgusting flatulence in his sleep. Living in Forman's room was a nightmare.

"All right, that was pretty mean..." Hyde began, Eric smiled at him, "I guess what I should have said was 'I'm sick of sharing a room with you and your disgusting fluids and gases." Eric scoffed and raised an eyebrow at Hyde.

"Oh yeah, and yours are real dreamy, Hyde." He could feel the eyes of his friends on him and Eric as they fought. He couldn't ignore the smirk on Donna's face; it was almost as if he could read her thoughts.

The conversation quickly switched back to hickeys and Fez's lack of action. It wasn't a topic Hyde was fond of, so he shrank back, sat in his normal chair, and observed his friends as his mind whirred.

He had to figure out what to do with sharing a room with Eric. He couldn't do it anymore, it was too disgusting. Too... teenager-ish. He wasn't about to leave the Forman's house, it was his home. If Laurie was still in school then they wouldn't have this problem; Hyde could have Eric move into her room. It was more fitting with his personality.

Hyde must have been so wrapped up in his thoughts that he hadn't even noticed that Donna and Jackie had left until the door shut. As soon as the two girls were gone, Kelso bounced off of the couch and to the dryer.

"Finally! I thought they'd never leave!" He cried, Hyde raised an eyebrow in curiosity at the older teen.

"Uh... Kelso, what're you doing?" Eric asked as Kelso began to rummage through the dryer. Hyde had a feeling that he didn't want to know.

"I need a sexy memento from Laurie-" Hyde inwardly shuddered, he was right; he didn't want to know. "I gotta commemorate our forbidden love. Panties!" Hyde rolled his eyes at the childish idea of his friend's.

"Fine!" Eric cried, "just take the panties and go home!" Hyde watched in amusement and disgust as Kelso grabbed a pair of underwear from the dryer and held it up proudly.

"Perfect." Kelso mumbled to himself, yet Eric's eyes widened in horror.

"Man, those are my mom's!"

"AAH!" Kelso screamed, hands shaking as he quickly chucked the panties back in the dryer, then wiped his hands on his pants. Hyde turned to Eric with a skeptical expression.

"Forman, I'm not tellin' you how to live your life, but if someone touched my mom's panties..." He trailed off, scoffing at the end. Kelso closed the dryer door and walked back to the couch.

"Hyde, didn't everyone touch your mom's panties?" Eric asked, Hyde's jaw tensed as he glared at his friend. He barely heard Kelso start to laugh at the sarcastic question, and he shifted his glower to the chuckling young man.

"Ha... oh... man that was a burn!" Kelso defended himself.

Hyde knew Eric's retort had been because of the whole breakfast ordeal and the fact that sharing a room with each other sucked. At first it had been cool, yet after a month and a half, it was really getting on Hyde's nerves.

"Okay Forman, I have a solution for the whole you being a pain in my ass, we sharing a room thing." He paused; this plan was genius. Of course, Eric wouldn't go for it, but still, it'd be funny to see his shocked face. "You move out." Hyde declared, watching as his jaw dropped.

"Of my room?"

"...Yeah?" Hyde responded as if it were an obvious and completely understandable statement.

"Well, that's just not gonna happen!" Eric fought back. Hyde sighed heavily and decided to say what he truthfully meant.

"All right, fine; I'll move out, you big baby." He grumbled; where could he find a place to sleep?

"Still friends?" Eric asked almost jokingly. As if the whole conversation had been a joke. Hyde decided to play along and turned his head.

"I need time to heal," he murmured in a faux offended voice. He heard Eric sigh and flop onto the couch without another word.

"Okay, these are Laurie's, right?" Kelso asked, holding up a pair of small pink panties. Hyde glanced to Eric for verification. When seeing Laurie's younger brother shudder and cringe, Hyde knew they were in fact Laurie's underwear.

"Kelso... what exactly are you going to do with those panties?" Hyde asked nervously, eyeing Kelso suspiciously. He watched the doofus shrug his shoulders and gaze at the small pair of underwear fondly.

"Just look at 'em..." He mumbled, voice trailing off as he pocketed the balled up cotton.

"Kelso, did you ever notice that Laurie and Eric have the same eyes? So if you're doing it with Laurie and she's perhaps wearing a hat it's kinda like you're doing it with Eric too!" Hyde wasn't sure what to say to Fez's disturbing comment. He was used to his random outbursts about the weirdest things, yet half the time it was about boy on boy crap. He sometimes wondered about the foreign boy... the least he was was extremely weird. That was certain.

The other three teenage boys slowly glanced at each other, unsure of what to say to Fez, who was waiting for laughter from at least one of the other boys. When realizing his statement was only awkward, he tip toed backwards to the basement door, and left without a word.

Hyde, Eric, and Kelso stood in the basement in silence, unsure of what to say or do after Fez's awkward exit. Hyde chose to make the best of the situation and walked passed the other two teens. As soon as he made it to the stairs, Kelso mumbled a quick "see ya" and ran out of the basement and Eric just stood there.

"Hey, Forman," Hyde began with a smirk. The skinny teen turned to look at him curiously, "first one to your room gets to stay there," Hyde hurried to finish his sentence before bolting up the stairs.

* * *

It wasn't fair of him to "steal" Eric's room even though he won the race to the room and locked Eric out. It had been a joke, yet now that he was locked in the room, it gave him time to think.

Laying on his cot, he stared with glazed eyes at the ceiling. It had been nice of Eric to volunteer sharing his bedroom with him, especially since it was so small. But that "nice" had worn its welcome and was now just a burden. Granted, that's what Forman probably thought he was.

Which is why he'd be moving out of the room. But his next question was; where would he go? He could try the basement but he'd be constantly interrupted by his friends as he tried to sleep. They all arrived at the Forman's house when he was still sleeping, and there was no way in hell he was going to let them interrupt what little sleep he'd get.

His best bet was to try different places in the house. He'd try to stay out of the way of everyone else, but that wasn't a guarantee.

At that, Hyde stood up off of the cot and folded up his makeshift bed. He couldn't take his few possessions with him; he'd have to keep them in Eric's room. Setting the cot on the bed, he picked up his guitar case and set it against the corner of the desk; it would be safe there. His clothes would stay in the dresser drawers he was given, as well as his stash of cigarettes and joints that were hidden in his guitar case.

The last object to find a place for was the box his grandfather gave him. He wanted to hide it, so that nobody, not even Eric, could find it. While he had the key, he was sure that curiosity would kill the cat and end up breaking the box that contained his most prized possessions.

Hyde sighed heavily as he searched the room for some place to store the box. His bare eyes stared at the closet that was barely open. Inside he could barely make out a top shelf full of various boxes and other items Eric hadn't thrown away. That would be perfect.

After making sure his box was secure on the top shelf, Hyde turned back to the cot. He held the bed to his side with his arm resting against the front, holding it to him so it wouldn't fall. Hyde unlocked the door and turned off the light before exiting his second bedroom.

Hyde hurried down the stairs and grimaced when seeing both Eric sitting on the couch. With the television on. So much for testing out a place to sleep.

To make his presence known, Hyde violently unfolded the cot and set it on the ground behind the couch; giving enough room for people to walk by him. He yawned loudly and stretched out his arms as he slowly laid down, making sure to hit Eric on the back of the head as he did so.

The light was bright against his closed eyelids yet he could learn to adjust. This was one of the busiest rooms in the Forman household, which could be a problem. Yet he could adjust to the constant shuffle and bustle of the various people who always showed up at the house.

Hyde chose to ignore the scoff that came from the oldest Forman sibling as she staggered down the stairs. Whenever he saw her, he thought of a younger, tamer Edna.

He heard the two siblings fight over the remote, Laurie finally won the match and sighed. He didn't think it was humanly possible to sleep in this living room; he would need to find some place quieter.

"Kelso took your underwear," Eric told Laurie, who scoffed.

"Ugh... that's like the third pair!" Hyde cringed at that thought. Did Kelso have a fetish for panties? He didn't want to hear anymore of their conversation.

In a huff, Hyde rolled off of his cot and folded it back up. Eric glanced back and smirked at him as he gathered his bed. Hyde scowled dejectedly and carried the cot out of the room, towards the kitchen.

As Hyde entered the room, he set down his bed and took a seat on "his" chair at the table. He had to come up with another place to sleep. Somewhere that was quite ignored by the rest of the household. He didn't think the kitchen would work; Kitty was there all the time and she'd be worried sick about him. The bathroom wouldn't work either.

With that in mind, Hyde walked out of the kitchen, through the dining room, to the small room at the back of the house that was usually vacant. Hyde's optimistic face faltered when seeing Red sitting comfortably as he read the newspaper.

Hyde was hesitant about trying out his bed, yet he chose to do so anyway. Once again, he unfolded it, making sure the legs were locked, and laid on it. Just as he was about to get comfortable, Red chuckled sarcastically.

"I don't think so," Red grumbled without even looking up at him. Hyde sighed heavily and lifted himself up off the cot. At best he could say this whole "moving out" thing was failing miserably. He wasn't going to end up back in Eric's room, defeated. He was going to find a place to sleep by the end of the night.

There was one more room he could try before he gave up and decided to permanently be the Forman's basement monster. Hyde dragged himself through the dining room as he backtracked into the kitchen. As he re-entered the room, he sighed with relief; there was no one in there.

Hyde opened his cot and laid down on it for the third and final (or so he thought) time that night. And the best part was that he was completely alone. Finally.

Hyde sighed contentedly as he rested the back of his head on his hands as a pillow. Even with the kitchen light on this was the most relaxation he had felt all that was until...

"-Eric I need you to go to the store and get me three pounds of ground beef, lean." Hyde's peaceful mind frame was immediately shattered as he heard the voices of Kitty and Eric as they walked into the kitchen. He had even been nearly half asleep!

"Mom, before you go into twenty cents a gram ground beef, this guy is not going to get Laurie back in college, she's stupid and evil. Mostly stupid." Eric sincerely told his mom. Hyde held back his chuckle; that was good, he had to admit it.

"Eric, she is not stupid! She just... she has... special... just go!" Kitty fought for her words as she attempted and failed to defend her daughter. Hyde knew as well as everyone else that she agreed with every word Forman had said.

Hyde glanced up when feeling Eric bump into the leg of his bed. He stood up as his de-facto brother rolled in his eyes in aggravation.

"Hyde!" He barked then slammed the sliding glass door shut as he left the house. Hyde grimaced and stood up once again. He was getting sick of this; he wanted to find somewhere he could sleep without being interrupted. This house was simply too crowded; he was starting to understand what Red complained about.

"Oh, honey just share the room with Eric... " Hyde shook his head as he haughtily picked up his bed once more to continue his search for the perfect "bedroom."

"No thank you, I'm fine," he grumbled as he stormed out of the kitchen. No way was he about to give in and go back to Forman's room. If he stayed in that room one more night, someone was going to get hurt. In the middle of his "angry storm" he heard a loud crash and glass shatter loudly; his cot must have broken something. If he wasn't so angry, he would go back and clean it up.

Hyde continued through the living room and to the stairs, with a final idea in mind. If this didn't work then he'd just sleep on the living room or basement couch until he could figure something out.

The Formans had a rather large walk-in closet at the end of the upstairs hallway that, if need be, he could sleep in it. It would be completely dark and silent in there; which would be a plus. Yet extremely cramped. He was familiar with the closet though; he slept in there as a child when their basement was too cold and he didn't have anywhere else to go. It would be quite similar to that.

Hyde stood at the closet door and slid it open. The cleaning supplies were on the right side, giving him about a foot of room for his bed; it would be enough. Or he could just sleep on the linens, that turned out to be quite warm when he was younger.

Turning the cot on its side, Hyde slowly pushed his portable bed into the closet. He then flipped it right side up when it was in perfect position. Ducking, Hyde took a small step into the closet and closed the door.

With one faint look at the cot, Hyde shook his head; this wouldn't work. Sighing heavily, he flipped it once more and folded it before backing out of the cramped closet. He winced and scowled as his head hit the top of the closet; he couldn't deal with that every morning.

'That closet was so much bigger when I was a...' Hyde trailed off, eyes catching what could be a hot scenario outside of the window.

"Whoa." Hyde's eyebrows rose as he stared at the two people making out by the garage. A disturbed grimace formed on his lips and he suppressed a disgusted shudder. Watching Laurie make out with her professor was like some sick X-rated movie he didn't want to see. As Laurie tongued the middle aged professor, he shuddered as he realized how similar she was to Edna...

Yet it gave him an idea. With cot under arm, Hyde flew excitedly down the stairs. It was complete open space and just the right temperature for him to be comfortable sleeping. He wouldn't be in the way or bothering anyone. Although, if he did sleep outside it would give Laurie even more reason to call him "the stray."

Hyde decided to leave the house using the front door rather than the sliding glass door. He didn't want Kitty to question him and he didn't want to hear any sounds coming from the disgusting couple swapping spit by the garage.

Instead of going to the back yard, he decided to just lay out at the front of the driveway. The street that the Formans lived on was always quiet and though him laying out on the lawn was probably an odd sight, he didn't care. With a quick yank to either side of his cot, the bed sprang open and he collapsed.

This was the most peace he had gotten all night. He could definitely sleep out here, at least until November and the freezing temperatures chilled Wisconsin. Yet now the late October night was surprisingly comfortable. There was not a sound except the rustling wind and the final songs of the crickets before they met their fate of winter.

_Click click click click. _

That wasn't crickets. Hyde's ears perked at the clacking of the familiar rhythmic steps leading to the Forman's driveway. Immediately he knew who was walking towards him. _'So much for peace,_' he thought with a grimace.

The footsteps decreased their speed until they were brought to a halt. The sweet flowery perfume floated in the northern wind, bringing the scent of the young girl's cologne to his senses. It wasn't musky like what his mother wore, or a classic scent like Donna's. It was sweet, memorable. It was Jackie.

"Steven?" Hyde kept his eyes closed as he heard the soft voice. It had been awhile since they were alone, or actually talking to each other. He tried to avoid Jackie as much as possible. He remained silent as he attempted to keep his warm bubble of serenity, yet the yappy girl was persistent. "Steven!"

"What?" He growled lowly, eyes still shut.

"What are you doing?" He shrugged his shoulders at her question. Why should he have to answer to her? Why did it concern her, anyway? Yet he chose to be the least bit polite and did give her an answer.

"Sleeping." He grumbled, his hands resting on his stomach. Because of his body heat, he was actually comfortable laying outside with the thin blanket. He didn't have to take one look at Jackie to know that she was wearing some heavy fancy jacket or poncho.

"But why outside?" A scowl curled his lips downward as she continued to ask her annoying questions.

"Why not?" He countered sarcastically, slowly shifting his bare eyes to her. She had her hands crossed over her chest in slight annoyance.

Jackie opened her mouth to answer, yet instead a high pitched squeal filled Hyde's ears. The source of the noise was picked up in the air by her boyfriend, and Hyde rolled his eyes.

"Hey baby, I missed you..." Kelso mumbled, holding onto Jackie tightly. Hyde heard the girl giggle and he scoffed.

"I missed you too-"

"Oh give me a break," Hyde mumbled angrily as he stood up. In his final angry huff of the night, he folded his bed and shook his head at the two annoying lovebirds before walking to the sliding glass doors. The last thing he wanted to hear was their lovey dovey coos.

As he shut the door to the kitchen he was greeted with a slightly amused grin on Kitty's face. He felt his scowl deepen even more upon seeing her knowing smile.

"No luck?" She asked with a joking tone. A low groan of annoyance voiced from Hyde's throat as he dejectedly walked towards the basement door without saying a word. There was no use in trying to find a place to sleep, he was going to have to go back in Eric's room. And then he'd deal with the scrawny boy's gloating.

Hyde slowly descended the stairs and heard Eric's excited voice; he was the one to always talk in the basement. If he got into his stash, he was going to kill him.

"Hyde!" Eric cried. In his frustrated reply, he threw his cot down on the floor next to the couch as he stood next to Eric and Fez. "Did you see Laurie and Professor Stark? Tell Fez I'm not lying!" Hyde chuckled and rolled his eyes before turning to his wide eyed foreign friend.

"Yeah, they were making out." Hyde told him nonchalantly. He didn't really care; the person he wanted to tell was Kelso. Fez stared skeptically at him before turning to Eric.

"Oh poor Kelso, what will he th-"

"What _poor Kelso_?" A shrill voice asked, causing the three teenage boys to turn toward the basement door. Hyde watched a confused expression form on the olive-toned girl's face as she looked at her boyfriend for answers. All he gave her was a blank expression meant for his own confusion.

"Yeah, why poor me?" He asked, Eric sighed heavily before turning to Kelso, a smirk on his lips.

"I caught Laurie and her professor kissing. And they were like, really kissing." Kelso's eyes widened in horror as he heard Eric's accusation.

"Why would Laurie do that?" He asked weakly, Hyde refrained from laughing out loud as Jackie stamped on his foot.

"Michael, it's self-explanitory; Laurie is a whore." Both Eric and Hyde cracked up at that. Leave it to Jackie to say it like it is. She always seemed to surprise him.

_'Wait...'_ he thought, shaking his head quickly, forgetting that thought as he looked back at Kelso.

"No way!" Kelso exclaimed loudly, causing Jackie's doe-eyes to narrow like a hawk.

"Yep, Laurie and her professor tongueing in the garage like hungry dogs. It was really disgusting." Eric mumbled.

"No! No, you see because Laurie wouldn't just make out with some old guy. She wouldn't do that." Hyde sighed before making his only comment.

"No, it's true man. I was in the upstairs closet trying out my cot, and I saw them. It was like live porno." After catching the surprised glances coming his way, he fought to add. "But not good porno, it was like really really old. It was like, old bad porno." He finished, attention now back to Kelso.

"Michael, why do you care if Laurie kisses the professor?" Of course she'd catch on. Of course she'd wonder why and of course Hyde would take advantage of the situation of talking about Laurie in front of the couple.

"Yeah Kelso, why do you care?" He asked sarcastically, casting a glare at his friend who only stared back dumbly.

"Well… because. You see it's wrong for an old person to make out with an innocent young student." He fought for his words. Hyde rolled his eyes in annoyance.

"God, you're noble," he grumbled, catching Jackie's attention momentarily. He ignored her curious gaze that set on him and chose to instead to stare toward the back of the room. Where the old games that the gang used to play were stacked on a metal shelf, next to a... door?

"Innocent? Okay, Eric no offense, but your sister is as slutty as they come." Hyde chuckled quietly as he gave her an approving nod.

"Eric are you gonna let her say that about your sister?"

"Sure." Hyde left the conversation to go investigate what the door was. He had thought the Formans had a storage closet, yet what if it was an entire room? It could surely pass off as a small bedroom for him at the least.

"Hey, Forman, did you realize that there's a room back here man?" He asked, opening the door. Turning on the light, his eyes widened in shocked. "And it barely stinks!" It was perfect. There was enough room for his cot and the few belongings he had. Sure it was a little cramped but he could organize the forgotten items.

"Perfect! You can sit right back beneath your bare bulb writing angry letters to the government!" Eric cried, his voice muffled by the distance and the fact that Hyde was in a room.

"Don't think I won't!" Hyde yelled back before slamming the door.

All he'd really need is space to walk. And even then it would be to get to his bed. A few Christmas decorations and ornaments lay scattered; something Mrs. Forman would be appalled by. He picked up the objects and quickly put them in a large box labeled "Christmas."

From there there he stacked boxes onto each other in an organized fashion from large to small. Once the boxes were piled, there was a lot more room for him to walk. Yet even then, toys from when Eric and Laurie were younger were scattered out of their boxes.

As he cleaned, he found various spiders of shape and color. At first he'd step on them or smash them with his hand. Yet after killing about six in about five minutes, he had a better idea. He picked up the arachnids in his hands, feeling countless legs tickle his palms yet he ignored the sensation. As long as they didn't bite him he'd be fine. Yet Eric wouldn't be.

Calmly, Hyde walked out of the bedroom, hands at his sides as usual.

"I've heard a lot of banging and thuds in there, did you find our other basement monster?" Eric asked jokingly. Hyde shrugged his shoulders, biting his lip to refrain from laughing at the tickles from the spiders. As he shook his hands, Jackie glanced at him in confusion; she noticed something was different.

"Nah, I've been trying to find a present to give you as a truce." Eric raised his eyebrows as a grin spread on his face.

"Really? Giving up, huh? If you found some of my toys that'd be pretty-" Eric wasn't able to finish his sentence. Instead he was attacked by about twelve angry and dizzy spiders. Three loud and high pitched screams and shrieks filled Hyde's ears, followed by Kelso's goofy laughter.

"Hyde!" Eric cried, squirming and hitting himself as he scrambled out of the basement.

"Steven! Oh my God, this is disgusting!" Jackie squealed, standing on the chair he usually sat in and rubbed her arms. Hyde shrugged his shoulders, his way of apologizing to her. But she didn't take it that way, as she kicked his hip.

He felt the sting from her heels on his skin, yet he didn't complain; at least it wasn't his shins.

"Well, sorry, but-"

"You're killing them before they kill me!" Jackie yelled angrily at him, Hyde rolled his eyes and watched the arachnids scatter across the room.

"Well... that's taken care of," He mumbled as Jackie hesitantly stepped down off the chair. He felt her angry glare on him as he turned to Kelso, who was still laughing.

He gritted his teeth in pain when feeling Jackie's retaliation against his words against the back of his leg. His left leg bent slightly as reflex.

"And you," she growled angrily at Kelso, "you are coming with me and we are having a talk-"

"But Jackie-"

"MICHAEL! Now!" She screamed, Hyde winced from her shrill shriek and commanding voice. With his dignity at a null, Kelso slowly followed his girlfriend, with Fez trailing behind them. They all had gotten used to him trying to watch them with their partners.

Hyde sighed heavily and picked up his cot; time to make Hydesville.

Once he had made his bed, Hyde gathered all of his things from Eric's bedroom and placed them in various places throughout his small room. His box was still under his cot, his guitar was in the corner closest to him, and his clothes were sitting on his bed.

There was a problem; he had no furniture. He had been mooching from Eric the past month and used his dresser and desk. Except now he was two stories away from that room and he wasn't going to make trips back and forth every morning to get clothes.

But there was something he could do. It actually made him him feel a bit queasy as he thought about it. He had a dresser and a small bookshelf with some of the books he used to read and stole from the library. He had posters that he had randomly come across from various concerts that the gang went to that would give the room a more "Hyde" vibe. As well as a poster of a Ferrari and a Camaro that his uncle Chet, the only uncle he actually liked, gave him for his 9th Christmas. That was the last time he had ever seen either side of his family.

Hyde sighed heavily and ran his hands through his hair; he knew what he had to do, and he needed Forman's car. He still had the key to the house, yet the thought of walking in that hell-hole made him feel sick. And the fact that he'd have to ask Forman to go with him made him actually feel bad about the spiders.

As if on cue, the door to his room burst open, and Eric stood in the doorway, panting.

"Hyde, what the hell was that for?" He cried angrily, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno."

"Well... how would you like me throwing a... uh... whatever you're afraid of at you?"

"I'm not afraid of anything, so I'd be fine." Hyde answered nonchalantly, Eric scoffed.

"No, I think I remember when we were younger you were afraid of Mr. Bonkers." Eric replied, Hyde's smirk fell. "You're afraid of cats!"

"Am not!" Forman grinned at him as he fought for an answer. "That cat just hated me."

"So... how would you like it if I threw Mr. Bonkers at you? Or any cat?" Eric asked. Hyde scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

"I'd throw it back," He answered definitely, yet inside he doubted every word.

"Fair point... well... fine, all is forgiven." His brother finally mumbled, sitting down next to Hyde on his cot.

Silence filled the room momentarily, both of them trying to find something to say, or to figure out if there was anything else to be said. Hyde couldn't bring himself to ask him a favor; it would come up sometime tonight.

"Nice digs, huh?" He asked, Eric chuckled and nodded.

"It's perfect. This is where we put all our old crap we just can't throw away. Like you." Hyde rolled his eyes and felt a smirk form on his face.

"Forman, is it just me, or do your mom and dad like me a whole lot better then they like you?" He watched as Eric's amused expression fell; he won that argument.

"You see I kid, but...you hurt," he whined, pressing his hand against his heart and pretended to be upset.

"Boys! Dinner!" Hyde and Eric both bounced up at their mother's call. It had been a long day, and Hyde was starving.

"All right man, you ready to make Laurie squeal like the family pig?" Eric laughed uneasily and nodded.

"Oh, yes..." Hyde scoffed at that.

"You're gonna punk out, aren't you?" He asked, faking anger. Eric shrugged his shoulders and hung his head.

"Well it is my nature." In hopes to help his friend get back at his sister for all the crap she's done to him and help get himself back on the better side, he figured he'd give him some advice.

"Look Forman, you've always been the run for the litter. This is your chance to bite the big dog on the ass. So my advice to you is, bite the big dog on the ass!" He exclaimed, hoping his little pep-talk would help him in the least bit. Eric smiled and seemed to relax.

"Okay, what if I let her of with a warning? You know, just this one time."

"Well that would be the mature choice," He paused, slapping him across the face to knock some sense into him. "But not EVIL! You gotta think evil, man! Where would we be without the A-bomb?"

"Actually the war was all won but-"

"That's besides the point, now listen... she's given you a ton of shit; let's review." Hyde paused momentarily. "Remember when she told your parents you had those dirty magazines under your bed?" Eric nodded.

"And when she caught me sneaking out and told Red." Hyde nodded, now he was getting him fired up for evil.

"Then that time when she drank all of your dad's beer but blamed you."

"I got grounded for a month from that! And then she blamed me for making her flunk out of college! And the cherry on top is she said I used all of her hand lotion," Hyde raised an eyebrow and stifled his shocked laughter. "Okay... that bitch is dead."

"Well done, brother!" Hyde cried, clapping Eric on the back as they hurried out of his room.

By the time the boys were seated dinner was served and their plates were already filled with Mrs. Forman's delicious cooking. Hyde took a cautious seat as he watched the psychology professor roll his bread into small little balls. For a psychology teacher, he had problems.

As he ate, he watched Eric, waiting for him to out his sister. Yet the longer the conversation got, the more impatient he was. He was nearly finished with his dinner when he couldn't handle the suspense any longer.

"Hey Forman, he who hesitates is boned," he growled lowly so that only Eric could hear. The smaller teen tensed and took a deep breath, waiting for the best time to tell his parents.

"Oh Laurie, I know something that you don't know that I know. You know? Yes yes." Hyde scowled at his pathetic attempt at a threat. Yet Laurie glared evilly at her younger brother with eyes that would only be appealing to the devil himself.

"Tell us Forman, so that we can all know!" Hyde piped up enthusiastically, his way of urging Eric on.

"You don't know anything, and if you do know something, I will make you sorry you were ever born!" She hissed venomously.

"Well for your information, I'm already sorry I was ever born!" Eric cried, causing Red to hush his son. "See?" The conversation was dropped as Red began to ask her professor questions.

"So, what does she need to do to get back into school?"

"Well, she'll have to work with me. Make a commitment..to school. She'll really have to buckle down." Hyde tried not to chortle at the innuendo that played through his mind.

"Hahahaha! Well what do you think Laurie, are you willing to give it a go?" Eric took this as an opportunity to get back on track, after Hyde cast him a glare.

"Oh mother she's very willing. You know dad, I just saw the most interesting thing today. In the garage. It was just...it was so surprising."

"Oh Eric, do tell!" Hyde prodded, hoping Eric would just spill his "news" before Laurie had the chance to make their plan backfire.

"I saw Laurie-"

"I'm love with your daughter!" Hyde covered his mouth to suppress his laughter caused by Professor Stark's announcement. He watched in awe as Red stood up from the table and his shoulders shook with laughter. This was just like the Hyde/Carring family holidays minus the violence and nudity.

"Dad," by that point both Eric and Hyde were in hysterics as they tried their hardest to stay silent. Mrs. Forman wore a face that Hyde was sure he'd never see again, unless Eric told her he was pregnant.

"That's it, come here!" Red shouted, charging toward the neurotic professor. Kitty, with a stern eye, grabbed her daughter's hand and led her out of the room as well, leaving Eric and Hyde alone.

"Oh man... this is so good, like a belated birthday present!" Eric cried in glee. Hyde nodded and heard a thud; his cue to find the source. Eric seemed to be curious as well, seeing as how he stood up and was almost out of the door before Hyde.

Hyde practically flew on the linoleum floor of the kitchen and ran into the swinging door in his enthusiasm to see a Red Forman brawl. He skidded to a halt when entering the living room. Red had Professor Stark by his shirt collar that was twisted to his skin; maybe he'd actually see Red's foot go in someone's ass. Dejection fell over him when Mr. Forman tossed the professor out of the house, yet it was a furious push that would probably have the man falling down the stairs; it would suffice.

"Oh for God's sake Laurie, the man is in love with you and you still couldn't pass!" Kitty cried, turning Hyde and Eric's attention back to the other three Formans. Kitty was shaking her head in disbelief and disapproval at her daughter. Yet what shocked Hyde was that Mr. Forman's face held the same expression as his wife. He was disgusted with Laurie; Eric finally bit the big dog in the ass, successfully. He was proud.

"So?" Red asked, hands balled in fists. Laurie looked up at him with wide, teary eyes like a child.

"So I guess I disappointed you Daddy... I'm really sorry, I just wish he wouldn't have taken advantage of me and my love for education." She whimpered, wiping her eyes of faux tears. Hyde could see right through her facade; he always could, it wasn't that difficult.

"Huh that is just so?" Eric asked sarcastically, Hyde smirked softly but felt like telling him to hold his tongue. He had a strong hunch that Laurie was on her way to revenge.

"Well, I guess you're not the first student to be taken advantage of by a teacher." Mr. Forman mumbled, Hyde sucked in a deep breath; he called it.

"W-wait, where are you going with this, Dad?" Eric asked, Hyde mentally urged him to run like hell.

"Just try not to be too hard on yourself..." Red trailed off.

"No! No! Noooo!" Eric cried woefully, Hyde also felt his pain, but he wasn't going to go down with him. He could see a way Eric could get back on the offense but it was up to him to do it.

"And the really sad thing is, Eric saw him kiss me today. And he didn't even try to stop him!" Eric was no officially hopeless. Hyde couldn't believe it. Once again, the runt got kicked to the curb. His distaste grew as Eric fought for words that only went against him. All of his hard work and advice went to hell. And it wasn't just about Laurie and Red; if he could start to man up and be a little evil he wouldn't have any problems with bullies at school. In the long run his advice could have saved him a trip to the hospital.

"Oh Eric, I forgive you..." Laurie chirped venomously before sashaying proudly out of the room. Hyde shook his head at Eric as he turned to face him and his mother, looking for reassurance, but Hyde was not about to give him that.

"Well this is unforgivable, in fact... you suck!" Hyde hissed, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, "I'll be in my room," he finished before storming out of the living room in an angry huff.

* * *

An hour had passed slowly; the only thing Hyde had done was pace or sit on his bed. He had to muster the courage to go ask Forman for a favor; something he had never done. He hadn't ever asked for people to do things for him, and after declaring Eric as "unforgivable" he wasn't sure if his brother would go for it. But he just needed the Cruiser, if he said no then he'd just steal the keys and go by himself.

Hyde sighed and set down the box he had been looking through aimlessly. Standing up, he fidgeted with the cigarette carton in his pocket, yet left the smokes alone. Without a second thought, he left his room, leaving the light on.

Thankfully he didn't have to go upstairs; he found Eric sitting on the old yellow couch with a certain redhead. By the looks of it, one or the other had fallen asleep. When he closed the door to his room however, both heads turned in curiosity as they wondered where the noise came from.

"Forman, can I have the keys to the Cruiser?" Hyde asked nonchalantly. He received an incredulous stare from the person in question.

"No." Eric replied slowly in a matter-of-fact tone. "Why do you need it?" He asked him. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I need to go do something." He replied, it was now Donna's turn to appear confused.

"Are Molly and Abby okay?" She asked, Hyde nodded and shrugged his shoulders.

"It has nothing to do with them," Hyde answered quietly, sitting on his kitchen chair throne. Eric sighed heavily and took his hand from behind Donna's shoulders.

"Well I don't have enough gas to go to Kenosha, if you have enough, put $5 in and then I'll let you go. We're running low." Hyde chuckled and shook his head. Funny that it was Eric who mentioned that.

"I have a full stash already, I don't need to go to Kenosha," he mumbled, pulling out his lighter and nervously flicked it on and off. "I need to go to Edna's house." The shocked looks on Eric and Donna's faces were priceless; he wished he had a camera.

"Wait, why? Is she back?" Donna asked, Hyde shook his head.

"I haven't heard from her in a month, so if she's back it would be a shock to me. I need to go get a few things now that I have my own room."

"Like what?" Eric asked, pausing momentarily. "C'mon Hyde, what if mom and dad find your paraphernalia? You can't say it's an advanced bubble maker machine." Hyde laughed and shook his head.

"No, you moron, I already brought those, they're in your room." Eric squeaked in fear when hearing Hyde's honest answer. "So can I have the keys or what?" Eric sighed heavily and swung the keys around his finger. Smirking, the green-eyed boy looked up at his brother.

"On two conditions." He began, Hyde grimaced and hesistantly nodded. "One, you forgive me for being the runt of the litter." Donna playfully hit her boyfriend's arm and Hyde chuckled.

"Done." He replied, Eric grinned.

"And the second condition is... we go with you." Rolling his eyes, he stood up and walked to the basement door. Eric and Donna followed silently behind.

He had wanted this trip to be quick and painless; with them tagging along they'd most likely ask questions and make his momentary visit back to his old house much longer than it needed to be. But he needed the Vista Cruiser to transport his belongings, otherwise moving it all would take all night and morning.

While Eric turned on the Vista Cruiser, he and Donna went into the garage to search for flash lights for each of them. There wouldn't be any source of light and he'd need to see exactly what he was touching and grabbing. Even with Edna out of that house he would always be cautious as to where he stepped and what he brushed against.

"So what do you need to get?" Donna asked as Hyde silently shut the garage door. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"My dresser, bookshelf, desk, and a couple other things." He answered simply.

"You actually use a desk?" She questioned him with a feigned shock. Hyde smiled softly and shook his head as he opened the backseat door of the car. Donna took the passenger seat, yet still kept her eye and conversation on Hyde.

A quietly as possible, Eric pulled out of the driveway, brakes squeaking as he halted to switch gears. The car jolted with the sudden force on the accelerator and the three zoomed down the street in silence. Hyde leaned against the door and stretched his legs over the seat; this was the most comfortable he had ever been in this car.

He had a sudden itch to pull out the joint in his pocket and smoke it until the butt was at his fingertips. Hyde had the words "go back" formed in the back of his throat, yet couldn't bring himself to speak. Thankfully, he had his sunglasses, otherwise Donna, who was already staring at him suspiciously, would be trying her hardest to make him smile.

It wasn't that he was scared. He wasn't worried about going back there or seeing his old house. He just didn't want to see it. He didn't want to walk through that broken front door and be overcome by memories and his past emotions. And if Edna was there, he wouldn't want to see her. Hyde didn't want his friends to see him weak.

As Eric pulled onto Arlington Street, the familiar graffiti and broken bottles filled his vision. He remembered walking these streets barefoot, stepping on the broken glass until his feet were so callused that the shards didn't pierce or hurt his flesh. As they passed by the park nearly directly across from his house, the nights of sleeping in the tube slide flickered through his mind like a video reel.

Eric parked along the curb, as he was unable to find the actual parking lot. Hyde could have told him to just drive one more yard and pull in, but he kept his mouth shut. He quickly and quietly opened and shut the car door, feeling the color and heat drain from his face and body.

The windows were broken and stained with something dark; he didn't want to know what it could have been. The two steps that led to his crappy front porch were broken, as if someone took an ax and chopped them in half. Most of the railing post were also torn apart or missing. Maybe if he went in the house he'd find nothing, and that's what worried him.

Turning on the flashlight, Hyde dug in his pocket for the key he had kept even though he hadn't seen much of a reason at the time. As Eric and Donna's guide, he stepped onto his old front porch and cautiously stepped on the rotting planks. But his key seemed to be useless when the door slowly opened at his slightest touch. Someone had to have broken in.

Hyde took a momentary glance at Eric and Donna who both wore worried expressions before pushing the broken creaky door he had broken and fixed countless times. With the flashlights he could see the furniture was toppled over and everything was in even more disarray than when he lived there.

"Uh..." Eric trailed off, unsure of what to say. Hyde paid no mind to them, there was something more important weighing on his mind right now.

Instead of heading to his room, Hyde bolted to the opposite end of the hallway, Edna's room. He barely had time to jump over the tipped over couch, and almost lost his footing. Donna and Eric slowly followed behind, unsure of what he was doing and why he was doing it.

He practically broke down the door as he burst into the room; right now he didn't care about getting the damn furniture as long as he found the most important thing he owned; Chris's box. While his left hand held the flashlight, his right hand punched at the floorboards in Edna's closet. He ignored the strong fumes of her late night binges, purges, and sexual rampages that still lingered in the closed room. Most of the floorboards were loose, yet there was one in particular that he was looking for.

Hyde would know whether or not Edna had come and wrecked the house; if the box was still there then it wasn't her. But he had a strong feeling that when he found the right two floorboards that the box of everything his infantile brother had ever been given would be gone.

"Hyde, man what are you doing?" Eric asked loudly, holding his flashlight in front of him. Hyde smashed his fist once more against the old stained floorboards, earning a loud creak and thud. He punched once more in the same spot, and dug his fingernails as deep as they would fit in between the tiny cracks of wood. Hyde pulled up on the board, the sound was similar to ripping out a tooth not quite ready to be pulled.

Hyde relaxed when seeing the small box sitting under the boards as Edna had placed it all those years ago in one of her drunken rages. He could read his grandmother's fine writing on the box, covering the folded lid. At least he didn't have to worry about this any longer.

"What is that?" Donna asked as Hyde stood up, stomping on the floorboard that he had pulled to put it back in the floor. The box was tucked under his arm, much like his cot had been most of the night.

"Some of Chris's stuff, I wanted to make sure it was still here." Hyde answered nonchalantly, hiding the relief he felt by holding the box. Donna gave a short nod and left it at that; she of all people knew not to talk about Chris. Eric stayed quiet as Hyde and Donna seemed to silently converse. Hyde eyed Donna then glanced down at the box, but not before holding it out to her. With a knowing momentary gaze, Donna took the box labelled "Christopher John Hyde" and set it on Edna's bed. Hyde watched as she carefully peeled back the clear masking tape his mom used to close the box. He held his breath as she opened the flaps and carefully reached inside, shuffling through the objects within.

Glancing back up at him, Donna gave a short nod and smiled softly, her way of saying, "everything is here, don't worry." Hyde felt his shoulders relax from their achingly tense hold. Eric just stared at the two in slight confusion.

"We'll get the box later, we should go make sure all of Hyde's stuff is here." Donna announced quickly, grabbing Eric's hand and hurried out the door. Hyde chuckled and followed them slowly out, glancing back at the open box before exiting the room.

* * *

Thanks to Eric and Donna, the neverending job that Hyde would have had only took an hour and a half. His room now looked like the closest thing to a room Hyde had ever had. Even though he was in the corner of the Forman's basement, it still felt more like home than his shabby room at Edna's. He wasn't haunted here, his blood wasn't stained on the cement floor in the basement.

Hyde sighed as he thought back to his room in the basement; he was damn proud of how it looked. Not only did he have the posters from his old room, yet there were extras that Eric and Donna had given him to make it have a more "Hyde-esque" to it. His old furniture was in perfect position with the room, the desk and dresser barely took up any space. He didn't understand how everything seemed to look so different, so much better, than it did in his room at Edna's. It actually felt like a bedroom, a place where he wouldn't mind going in.

The only reason why he wasn't even in there now was that he had gotten hungry. His dinner had been cut short by the "Professor Stark Incident" as Eric called it. With Eric at Donna's house and the rest of the household asleep, he figured it would be okay to raid the fridge. After digging through the bins and searching for something good to eat, he decided on an apple and milk.

If anyone asked him how he was feeling now, he'd say "good," but that wouldn't be the half of it. Things were just slowly getting better and better and now he was more than happy. Everything seemed to be all right. The Formans were glad to have him as their de-facto son, he had a kickass room, awesome friends, no Edna to worry about, hell he was even proud of the grades he barely had to work for. Things were good.

But going back to his old shack of a home, he realized how lucky he was. And it made him feel sick that if it weren't for Edna, he wouldn't be experiencing this happiness. But she had dragged him through hell for so many years. She had poured salt on the wounds and made damn sure he'd never wear a smirk on his face or he'd have hell to pay. And it all came rushing back as soon as he took that first step into the living room. He just had to thank his lucky stars that he wasn't there anymore, that he had found something better.

Thinking back on the box of Chris's old blankets, the shirt Hyde had given him nearly ten years ago, the letters his grandparents wrote, and Chris himself, Hyde shook his head. He wondered what life would have been like if Chris had been alive through all of these years. Would he have gone to juvie? Would he and Edna be happy when they lived together? Would she have even left? Would he be experiencing life with the Formans? He wondered if the Formans would have let both of the Hyde brothers stay in their home. Maybe Red could have taught him how to not be a dumbass like his older brother.

He could imagine sitting with his little brother down in the basement, showing him all sorts of cool things. Hyde would help him with his homework and rolling his eyes in annoyance at Chris who would try his hardest to annoy him. He would have had straight brown hair like Edna, and probably Bud's eyes; he was thankful he didn't have those. He himself would be at the front of the line as he taught his brother how to not be like him. He'd make sure his brother was a genius, reached his full potential, actually became one of the popular, smart kids in class and not one of the bottom feeders like his older brother.

But that was all in the what ifs and could bes. It wouldn't happen and he'd never get to experience rolling his eyes or pinning him in a headlock to shut him up. He wouldn't get to help him with his easy homework or tell him what was right and wrong. But at least he didn't have to go through the hell Hyde did. At least he had one picture with his little brother, taken by his grandparents at the hospital. He'd ask Kitty for a frame tomorrow.

Hyde sighed heavily and swirled the half empty cup of milk in his hands. With a satiated appetite, he chucked the apple core in the trash can and put his glass of milk in the fridge for tomorrow; Mrs. Forman would be happy he'd drink that instead of coffee.

He didn't want to think about Chris anymore; it always left him with the old feelings of guilt that got him into all sorts of trouble. It left him _feeling_ and he didn't want that. In silence, he flicked off the kitchen light and quietly headed down to the basement.

As he walked through the empty ground floor, he turned off the lights and television left on nearly two hours ago. Forman would probably just go to bed when returning from Donna's house, so he didn't see a point in leaving anything on. Hyde opened the door to his room, feeling a sudden urgency to just lay on his bed and wait until the early hours of the morning to finally pass out.

"-How could you hurt me like that?" Oh hell no. He was not dealing with this. This was _his_ room, he had found it and Satan and her horny lover were not going to take _his_ room or have their disgusting hellish sex on _his_ cot.

"God dammit you two, get out! I hate you both!" Hyde barked angrily, watching as Kelso and Laurie hurried to grab their discarded clothes and hurried to vanish from his sight. Shaking his head, he scowled. "Shit," he mumbled as he laid down on his bed, pulling his old blanket on top of him. He heard a quiet sound of cloth sliding against the cement floor and he scoffed in disbelief. "Go home, Fez." Hyde grumbled angrily, not even looking up as Fez silently left his room and the Forman household in a state of dejection.

Finally Hyde had some peace and quiet in his new room. As he laid down, a smirk grew on his face that transformed into a wicked smile. Finally he had some privacy.


	56. Wasteland

_**Hello all! I just wanted to say thank you to all of my amazing reviewers and readers. You're all so amazing. You keep me going. I want to warn you that this chapter is very dark. There IS character death, and there will be my style of a flashback throughout the story. Hope you all enjoy (can you enjoy a sad chapter) this 60th chapter of How It Came To Be!**_

_**Special thanks to twiniitowers, Misty-Mountain-Hop, and nannygirl for their constant support, amazing words, helpful ideas, and just being awesome friends. :)**_

_**Love,**_

_**Angie**_

**_Disclaimer: Gruesome/violent scenes (due to flashbacks,) some scenes will be very dark. Inspired by true events..._**

* * *

_Crouched over, you were not there living in fear. But signs were not really that scarce, obvious tears, but I will not hide you through this. I want you to help and please see the bleeding heart perched on my shirt. Die, withdraw, hide in cold sweat, quivering lips; ignore, remorse, naming a kid, living wasteland. This time you've tried all that you can it's turning you red. Change my attempt good intentions Should I? Could I? Here we are with your obsession. Should I? Could I? Crowned hopeless, the article read "Living Wasteland." This time you've tried, all that you can, it's turning you red. But I will not hide you through this, I want you to help me. Change my attempt good intentions Should I? Could I? Here we are with your obsession. Should I? Could I? Heave the silver, hollow the sliver, piercing through another victim. Turn and tremble, be judgmental, ignorant to all the symbols. Blind the face with beauty paste, eventually you'll one day know. Change my attempt good intentions. Limbs tied, skin tight; self-inflicted his perdition. Should I? Could I?_

SLAM!

Hyde shut the passenger side door to the Vista Cruiser two days later. Donna eyed him with a mother-like glare before thrusting his binder and notebook into his chest. He had "subconsciously forgotten them" in the car and wouldn't look at them until a minute before the assignments were due.

"Do you want Mom and Dad to kill you?" Eric asked, slinging his own backpack over his shoulder once more. Hyde rolled his eyes before hesitantly taking his doodled on school supplies.

"That English paper saved my semester grade, I'm good." Honestly, he could slack the next two months by not turning anything in and he'd have a C in most of his classes. Almost every single assignment in all of his classes were handed back with an A or B. Granted the courses were really easy; he liked to say the teachers were slacking by teaching the same curriculum as last year, but in reality he was just paying attention.

Hyde followed Eric and Donna into the kitchen. Everyday after school, the three of them would get a snack, look over the homework, choose a third of the assignments to finish and once they were all finished they would share their answers. It made doing homework a lot easier.

The only reason why Hyde was a part of their "study group" was because he had been the only person to earn a 100% on a history paper. They hadn't believed that he had picked the right answer, not even his best friends. Yet it showed by the A+ on his paper and the fried chicken dinner Kitty cooked in honor of his all around A in the class. Since then, Eric and Donna asked the hidden genius to join their "study buddy program." It gave him less homework to do, anyway.

Hyde shut the sliding galss door and turned around. Eric and Donna's faces were pallid with a look of confusion as they gazed at the four guests. Hyde felt his stomach squirm as he stared at four familiar faces, with bloodshot eyes and tears streaming down their faces. Immediately he knew something was terribly wrong.

"Styfoam!" Hyde felt a choked chuckle catch in his throat as sad green eyes kept her gaze on him as the red-headed toddler zipped up to him.

"Princess Abby," he greeted, giving a bow before picking up the small girl. He chose to ignore the strange looks from his two friends and the google eyes Kitty was sending him.

As he held Abby, he felt she had gained a significant amount of weight. In fact, the entire Mason family appeared so much healthier than the last time he saw them. There were no bruises, dirty clothes, gaunt faces, or messy hair. Except something was off. He could feel it as he stared at their shaking mother.

"Eric, Donna... I have a... a little piece of romantic advice. Come with me!" A puffy-eyed Kitty broke the silence. Quickly, she grabbed her son's hand as well as his girlfriend's arm, and dragged them reluctantly out of the room. Leaving Hyde with the Masons; something he was terrified of right now.

"Molly?" Hyde asked quietly as Max burrowed his head into his side, sobbing into the bottom of his shirt. With his free arm, Hyde reached down and ran his hand through the boy's light brown hair; he couldn't reach his shoulder with Abby in his arms. He couldn't bear to ask what was going on with their family.

"Steven... I-I'm so sorry..." the young woman whimpered, wiping her eyes. "I... I came here as..." The fear and dull hue of her usual bright green eyes made his stomach churn with nausea.

Had Will gotten out of prison? Were his junkie friends bothering them? He was sure the Formans would allow him to stay with the Masons for a few days to protect his third family. But it could be something more. Edna could be back in town... bothering Molly. Or could have died. He wasn't sure what he would think if she died, or how he would-

"This morning," thankfully her introduction to her explanation cut off his thought process. "-I went into Sean's room to wake him up... and last night h-he said he didn't f-feel good. He was l-late for school so I called him in sick... t-that's probably why you didn't see him t-today. And I got home f-from picking up Max and J-James and went to go check on Sean. And... there were pills everywhere, and syringes, and... blood. So much blood. There was a... a gun... he... my baby is dead..." Molly whimpered before breaking down once more.

Hyde could hear his blood pounding through his head. His heart dropped into his stomach while the blood that ran through him ran cold. Nausea became almost overwhelming as he tried to grasp Molly's words. _Sean was dead_. And the worst part was he killed himself. A boy two years younger than Hyde who knew his hell more than anyone. A boy cursed by his father as he had been by his mother._ He hadn't even made it to sixteen._

The fact that Hyde himself could have easily done the same thing made him sick. Sean had more of a chance to survive than him. His mother would give her life to see him smile. Hyde would have to do the same thing to see his mother crack a drunken smirk.

Hyde didn't understand how someone could off themself. Sure, he thought about it, back when he lived with Edna. Around the same age as Sean, to be exact. But it wasn't something he would actually attempt to do. But hearing that someone he was practically brothers with had committed suicide... it made him sick. What was he supposed to say to Molly? Abby and Max were both crying into him; Abby probably didn't quite understand. James was burrowed into his mother's embrace, while Molly trembled, trying to regain her lost composure.

"Molly... no, you can't... shit..." Hyde whispered, his throat suddenly too tight for words. The auburn-haired woman nodded as she tried her hardest to breathe.

"My son, Steven... he was doing so w-well. I can't... why would he do this?" Hyde shook his head and glanced down at Max, who had his arms wrapped around Hyde's torso as he cried. He sighed heavily and shrugged his shoulders.

"Molly... I don't know. I wish I had known..." Hyde trailed off. He would have done all he could to make sure Sean would be okay. He would've taken him driving aimlessly rather than going to school, or just sit and listen to music and talk. Maybe even scream at him until he got it through his head that he was _better_. Whatever he had to do. But he didn't have a chance. He was already too far gone.

"I... worked so hard... he hated me, Steven... I tried... he was never happy. Not after Will left. He was t-turning out to be more like his f-father every day and it scared me. I didn't w-want that for him. But I didn't w-want this!" Molly sobbed, Hyde bit his lip. He couldn't let her do this to herself, it would kill her.

"Molly... that's not true. He loved you, he was just... confused. His father is someone he is supposed to look up to, but look at him now. He's in jail. He wants to make his dad proud which is why he started using. He probably didn't know what he was doing when he did it..." Hyde trailed off, he didn't know what else to say. Molly was the kind of person to take blunt honesty and that's all Hyde would give, he didn't sugar coat things.

"But why? Why couldn't he... look up to me?" Molly asked, wiping her eyes. Hyde sighed, she wouldn't understand.

"Mom's are supposed to love you no matter what, they should be always proud of their children. Boys feel that they need to prove themselves to their fathers, make them proud. He wanted to be acceptable in his dad's eyes." Molly stared at him with wide, reddened eyes.

"Is... is that how you felt?" Hyde laughed darkly and shook his head. He'd never make Edna or Bud proud. He didn't want to try to make Bud proud, he was already better than the bastard anyway. They were both out of his life and he was happier than ever.

'No." Hyde answered shortly. He didn't talk about how he felt about his biological parents. He didn't want think about them, and most of the time he didn't. They were a part of his past; a part that he never wanted to live again.

"I... Steven, I just don't understand why..." Molly choked out through her weeping. Hyde remained silent, it would kill her if she knew the answer to her question. Hyde had seen it for awhile; Sean hated his mother. He would rather die than live with her, and that's how Hyde felt about Edna. The only difference was Sean had a mother who would do anything in her power to make her children happy.

"Mama, pease no cry?" Abby piped up from Hyde's shoulder. A miserable smile tugged weakly at Molly's lips and Hyde bounced the tiny girl in his arms momentarily before glancing at Molly, who shook her head; she didn't want to hold her.

"Mama's not crying, baby..." Molly mumbled, wiping her eyes quickly. Hyde sent her a glance and twirled a tendril of Abby's auburn hair. The little girl turned to him and giggled, before resting her head on his shoulder.

"Molly, I can ask the Formans if I can stay with you a couple days, so you know..." he paused, shifting his eyes on all three of her children, "I can, uh... help out and whatnot." The twenty-nine year old nodded and her smile grew stronger.

"I would be so grateful... only if you want to, though..." Hyde nodded and gazed at Abby who was playing with his boot-lace necklace. A smile pulled at his lips and he looked back at Molly.

"Yeah, I do."

* * *

An hour later, Hyde took one last glance behind him before closing the Mason's front door. Turning around, he took a deep breath and raised his eyebrows. He could actually breathe.

He could tell Molly worked her ass off to try to repair her children's lives before it was too late. Every room was spotless and the air was fresh; there was no smell of smoke, alcohol, or vomit. There weren't any stains on the carpet or the ceiling, and there was no trash; the house actually reminded him a little of the Forman's home.

Thinking of the Formans, he smiled. Even though they had never met Molly or her children, they were still shaken by what happened to their family. They knew Hyde was close to the Masons and would let him do what needed to be done to help them. And they needed him now more than ever.

"James, Max... how about you go to your room for awhile? I'll call you when dinner is ready. Abby, let's go down for a nap..." Molly murmured, patting her sons' backs to rush them to their room. Reluctantly, the boys dragged themselves to the room; right now they knew better to not

"But I don't wanna!" Abby squeaked in protest from Hyde's shoulder; she had begged to sit on his lap in the car and hadn't let go of them since they left the Formans. He noted the light in Kitty's eyes when she saw him with a young child in his arms.

"Abs, please..." Molly whispered, pressing her index fingers onto her temples as she shook her head. Hyde sighed softly and poked the little girl on the shoulder.

"Hey, bug," he nearly whispered as he pulled back her fiery locks. "How bout you go take a nap and I'll show you something really neat." He suggested, her emerald eyes lit up with curiosity.

"When?" She chirped, Hyde shrugged and caught Molly's curious yet skeptical gaze at him.

"After you nap and after you eat your supper." Abby grinned and nodded, before squirming in his arms.

"Give me pig-back!" Hyde shook his head, laughing; no way was he getting on his hands and knees to give a little kid a piggy-back ride. No matter how cute she was.

"How about a horsey-back?" He asked, shaking his head as he just used the term "horsey." Abby nodded and he sighed heavily, trying to ignore the sad smile on Molly's face as Abby crawled over his shoulders and on his back. "Okay, wrap your hands around my neck, but don't choke." He told Abby, who grabbed at the front of his shirt collar, pudgy arms draped over his neck. "And keep your legs on my sides, I don't want you getting hurt." Abby giggled and nodded, before hitting him.

"Gid-up!" Even Molly laughed as the toddler barked at him to run. Hyde shifted his eyes over to Molly who watched with a dim brightness to her eyes; if it made her feel better and got Abby to bed, then he'd do this a million times. Hyde blocked out the loss of dignity as he zipped through the house, behind the couch and down the hallway. Abby's squeals of laughter made his humiliation worth it.

Hyde stopped at her room at the end of the hall and turned the door knob. Inside was a tiny child's bed with pink and purple blankets and pillows. Stuffed animals littered the floor and small toys were piled in boxes. She had a star night light tinted purple so the normal light wouldn't be too bright. It was the perfect little girl's bedroom; it was good to see Abby had that kind of stuff.

Abby slid down his back and toddled to her bed, then belly-flopped onto the mattress. She giggled and laid back, staring at Hyde as he watched the three-year-old settle in her very comfortable looking bed.

"Thank you, Styfoam." Hyde chuckled and nodded with a smirk at her nickname for him.

"You're welcome Princess," he replied, handing her the nearest teddy bear as he knelt by her bed.

"I not seepy," she whined playing with the arms of her white bear with pink paws. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and brushed her hair back from her forehead.

"Well... close your eyes and just listen to what's around you," Hyde whispered, watching Abby's eyes flutter shut. His right hand caressed her small face as he tried to lull her to sleep; something he remembered his grandma did with him when he was scared or sick and they were visiting. His fingertips lightly grazed her forearm and she turned her head, breathing still heavy from her excitement of a "horsey ride."

"Close your eyes and I'll kiss you, tomorrow I'll miss you; remember I'll always be true," Hyde began to sing softly as he brushed his hand back and forth on her back. "And then while I'm away, I'll write home every day, And I'll send all my loving to you. I'll pretend that I'm missing, the lips I am missing and hope that my dreams will come true. And then while I'm away, I'll write home every day, and I'll send all my loving to you. All my loving I will send to you. All my loving, darling I'll be true..." Hyde trailed off in the chorus of _"All My Loving"_ by The Beatles. He listened as Abby breathed in deep and slow, in a rhythmic pattern; she was asleep. That was easy enough.

Hyde rubbed her shoulder once more before cautiously standing up. He didn't want to wake Abby by making the slightest noise. He turned around and found Molly standing in the doorway, eyes shining as she watched him. His face heated as he realized she must have seen the entire scene.

Upon seeing Molly, Hyde tip toed out of Abby's room and silently shut the door. Molly immediately wrapped her arms around him in a tight hug. His arms loosely held her as she buried her head in his shoulder, her body shaking from violent sobs.

Hyde didn't know what to do. The only other crying woman he ever dealt with was Jackie. Donna never cried in front of him, or usually didn't, and he never saw emotions from Edna. So he just held her without saying a word. It seemed to work because a few minutes later, Molly looked up and shook her head, laughing quietly.

"I-I'm sorry, I know you don't like... I'm just... I can't do this. I can't keep this house with four... three children. I can't do this on my own; I had Sean, but now he's gone. Steven, what am I going to do? I keep expecting Sean to walk through those doors and say 'gotcha!' but I know he won't. God, Steven... you don't know..." She trailed off, realizing that in fact, he did know what it was like. "I'm sorry." Hyde shook his head and smiled weakly at her.

"Just take it a day at a time, man. Tomorrow is tomorrow, what you gotta do right now is just go try to calm down. Take a shower or a bath or whatever, and I'll cook dinner and clean up. You've been through hell and that's why I'm here." Hyde reassured her, his blue eyes staring down into her green. Molly exhaled shakily and shook her head.

"I can't believe you're only seventeen," Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders.

"I get that a lot." Molly laughed softly and sighed. He had gotten her to laugh; another mission accomplished.

"Thank you, Steven..." Molly murmured, smile faltering as she turned from him, walking down the hall to the restroom. Hyde watched her close the door and nodded; _this was going to be a long night._

* * *

Hyde lifted his head from the kitchen table as the oven's timer went off. He had ignored his gnawing stomach as the aroma from the food he cooked began to permeate the kitchen; he really needed to start eating more. He stood up and pushed his chair in as he yawned loudly.

After forty-five minutes, Molly was still in the bathroom, most likely taking his advice and was in the shower. James and Max were outside playing catch rather than in their room, and Abby was still down for her nap. Hyde shook his head and opened the oven door, a blast of heat rushing on to his face. As the gust ran down his body, his face paled.

_He was six years old and hadn't eaten for two days. He walked into the living room and found his parents lying on the floor and couch, half-naked with bruises and a bottle of whiskey in each of their hands. He had encountered them having sex more times than he could count and knew that's what the two had just finished doing. _

_ "Ma... I'm hungry," he heard his younger voice ring through his ears. _Hyde pinched his eyes closed as he tried to block out what he was seeing, hearing, remembering.

_"That's what the damn school does for ya," Edna slurred her words, her blue eyes hazy from booze, drugs, and lust. He had turned away when Bud stood up, shirtless yet wearing jeans with his belt undone. Hyde took a step back and shook his head, his right eye swollen shut from the bruise from last night. _

_"O-okay, I'm sorry," Young Hyde squeaked, backing away from Bud who glared at him angrily. He was too tired to fight for something to eat or to sneak some stale crackers. He was too nauseous to even try to eat and too weak to anger Bud anymore. His body was on the verge of collapsing from pain and starvation; after all he was littered with cuts, bruises and bones jutting from underneath his skin from his emaciation._

_"You hungry, Stevie? I'll make ya something." The six year old stiffened as Bud grabbed the back of his neck and squeezed too tight, his nails dug into his soft skin. A new bruise. _

_"N-no, I'm not." He whimpered as Bud dragged him into the kitchen. _

_"You trying to talk back, boy?" Young Hyde shook his head violently, ignoring the pull against Bud's grip. He collapsed on the floor, his side landing with a loud thud. Shards of glass stabbed into his skin and he pinched his eyes closed. _

_"I'll cook you up something real good, just let me turn on the oven!" Bud yelled with fake enthusiasm. What had he done to deserve this tonight? He hadn't done anything wrong; only asked for food. A violent tug on his t-shirt collar caused Hyde to choke from the hanging Bud was giving him. He fought to breathe yet remained still as Bud turned him in his arms. "I don't know if the oven is hot enough, wanna check, Stevie?" Young Hyde shook his head, tears forming in his eyes as a scorching blast of heat roared from the oven Bud slammed open. He coughed against the hot air, and felt Bud grab his wrist._

_"No, no, please... I didn't..."_

_"Do you think it's hot enough?" Bud asked him, breath reeking from the alcohol. "Do you?" _

_"Y-yes..." Hyde whimpered, closing his eyes as Bud began to force his hand into the oven. _

_"Why don't you check, just to make sure?" The six year old gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes shut to refrain from screaming in pain from the unbearable heat against his hand. Four hundred and seventy five degrees against the palm of his hand, causing his skin to sizzle and burn until raw, blistering and bleeding almost immediately. If he screamed he'd get his left hand or face on the oven racks. Or the worst punishment of all. **He had to stay quiet. **_

Hyde opened his eyes and found himself sitting on the kitchen floor in front of the oven, holding his right hand. He could still feel the heat throb through his skin, see the blisters and the blood and blackened skin. He could still see the scars.

"S-Steven?" Hyde jumped and glanced up, Molly gazed at him with concerned eyes. He let go of his hands and stood up, shaking his head. "Are you okay?"

"Yeah, I just finished dinner..." He trailed off, taking a deep breath to slow down his racing heart. She gave him a suspicious look and finally smiled weakly.

_He hadn't eaten for three nights after that._

Hyde set the table while Molly took charge of handling the food. She turned to him and shook her head, a surprised smile on her face.

"Who knew you could cook? And lasagna?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders without look back at her as he set down the forks, spoons, and knives in their proper order- something he learned from Kitty.

"Just something I needed to learn." If he didn't learn how to cook semi-edible food he would have been dead long before the age of sixteen. Molly nodded and brought the bubbling casserole on the table after setting down metal stands for the dish to sit on.

Hyde took the salad from the fridge and set it on the table next to the lasagna. Molly shook her head even more before exiting the room, most likely to wake Abby, leaving Hyde to get the boys.

Like the Formans, they had a sliding glass door in the kitchen that led to a smaller back yard. James and Max had gone back there to play catch or whatever game they decided to come up with. He pushed open the door and stood outside, watching the five and eight year old boys tossing a baseball back and forth. Hyde kept the memories at bay as he walked in between them, catching the ball in mid-air with his right hand.

"Hey!" He heard James and Max cry in unison. Hyde chuckled and tossed the ball in air, catching it each time.

"Your mom says it's time to wash up and eat." Hyde told them, watching as they slowly made their way up the deck stairs.

"But I'm not hungry..." Max whined, Hyde ruffled his hair and gave him a tiny nudge with his bare foot.

"Well I made it, so you're gonna eat it," he answered gruffly with a smirk. Both of their eyes lit up and grins spread on their faces before dashing inside. Either he was a really good cook, or Molly was a horrible chef; he had yet to find out which answer was right.

Hyde shut the door behind him as he walked into the kitchen. Abby was situated in her personalized chair so she could eat at the table, with a plate in front of her; the sauce he used was spread all over her face. James and Max were seated next to each other, waiting for Hyde to sit down. There was an open seat next to Molly, one that was probably Sean's... he couldn't think about that as he sat down in the mahogany chair.

"Thank you for cooking, this looks great," Molly mumbled to him, he nodded and watched Max and James as they wolfed down their food; he remembered when he used to do that. They'd stop after about a year.

Hyde played with the cheese, watching the melted mozzarella curl over his fork. He didn't feel hungry, granted he hadn't had a joint to smoke all day; and he wouldn't do that here. He couldn't do that to them. His mind was still reeling from the memory that clawed its way into the front of his mind. Now it was waning, yet etching its scars through his brain, rehashing the wounds he closed long ago.

Closing his eyes he took a deep breath and forced his mind to shut down. He didn't want to think; thinking always did this to him. Thinking opened his caged memories and slashed at the emotions he kept at bay. That was the last thing he needed right now.

"Styfoam, don't be sad." Hyde met Abby's gaze and he smiled softly. James and Max ignored their sister's comment, but Molly was looking at them both.

"Can I ask why she keeps calling you Styfoam?" She questioned, Hyde laughed and stuck his tongue out at Abby briefly, causing hysterical laughter, before answering.

"It's supposed to be "Styrofoam." I made up a bedtime story awhile ago and she wanted the knight to be Knight Styrofoam of some land about Tupperware." Molly chuckled as she shook her head.

"Yeah! The vaw-cano had a cold!" Hyde raised his eyebrows in shock; did she seriously remember that? He was impressed. Molly smiled shortly at her daughter before setting down her fork; she hadn't taken a bite of her food either.

Soon all three of the Mason children had finished their dinner while Molly and Hyde hadn't even attempted to chew. She was in Abby's room, trying to put her daughter to sleep, and the boys were watching television. Leaving Hyde to clean up dinner; not that he minded.

He covered the lasagna with tin foil and stuck it in the fridge for leftovers. Of course they would be getting sympathy casseroles and desserts. But like Edna did, they would probably just throw them out. Not out of anger, but the fact that it was too much food for one adult and three young children.

There weren't many dishes to wash and it only took him a couple of minutes. He'd leave the plates and silverware on the wooden rack for them to dry; he'd probably put them away tomorrow.

Hyde yawned and lounged on the recliner while James and Max watched whatever program was playing on the television. He didn't understand why he was so tired; sure it was a Wednesday and he had school in the morning- would he be going to school? If he was at the Mason's helping them, he probably wouldn't go. And he'd actually have an excuse other than "I didn't feel like going."

Hyde jumped when hearing a loud wail come from down the hall; Abby was crying. Hyde scowled and rested his head on the palm of his hand, legs outstretched on the foot rest.

"Abigail! Please?" Hyde heard Molly's frustrated plea, muffled by Abby's closed door. Another loud wail filled his ears and he felt his heart tug. Hyde closed his eyes and held his breath. He had to ignore the crying, it would only make him remember. He didn't wan to; he didn't want to go back.

_The piercing cry filled his ears and the wind roared loudly. He could see his younger self holding a tiny bundle in his arms, rocking back and forth on his bed, murmuring. His body was trembling violently from the cold in the room as the windows shuddered from the violent winds of January. _

_"Hey Chris, hey, it's okay. Don't need to cry... I'm here. You're gonna be okay," Hyde whimpered to his brother, voice shaking from the cold. _

_Sleepy brown eyes stared up at him from the blanket his grandma had made his little brother. A smile tugged on his lips as he gazed down at his baby brother. _

_"S-see Chris? W-we're gonna be okay? Ma w-will get the p-power tomorrow. I'll keep you warm." Hyde whispered, shoulders wracking from the bitter air temperature. A quiet coo came from the quilted blanket and the eight year old laughed softly. "'Cause that's my job. I gotta keep you s-safe." _

"Don't worry, Max, we're gonna be okay." James murmured to his brother, who was resting his head on the eight year old's shoulder.

"But I miss him..." Max whimpered, sniffling. Hyde watched them out of the corner of his eye, his throat felt unbearably tight as James patted his brother's back.

"I do too, _but I'm always gonna be here for you. I promise." _Hyde could barely breathe as he heard his voice echo in his mind. He had said the same thing to Chris. And look what happened. But James was a better brother, who had a better mother and a better family. They were going to be okay.

* * *

Hyde bit his lip and opened the door of the passenger's side of Molly's car. He held out his hand and smiled weakly at Molly who was already crying. She took his hand and let out a strangled sob. Much to her surprise, he wrapped his arms around her and she laughed between her tears.

"What would I do without you?" She asked, voice muffled by his shirt. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and rubbed her back reassuringly.

"Well you'd have less laundry to do?" He suggested, grabbing her hand as a silent support. She smiled at him and took a deep breath, then took James's hand. Abby, in a long sleeved black dress, tugged at the black button down shirt he wore. He bent down and picked up Abby, who nestled her head against his chest.

Right now he was their rock. Abby, Max, James, and Molly all depended on him with everything right now. He couldn't stay with them forever, but for the next few days he could try to make the tragedy they were going through a little easier to handle.

As he walked up the steps to the church, his stomach twisted. He hadn't even stepped foot near a church since Chris's death, not counting Eric's grandma's funeral. Thankfully it wasn't at the same church; he knew the Masons were Methodist; Edna never attended church, he hadn't even been baptized, not that it mattered to him, so she just chose some random church for Chris's funeral. He thought it might have been Catholic.

The closer they walked to the doors, the slower Molly moved. Hyde sighed and squeezed her hand reassuringly, hoping it would help give her courage.

"No mother should bury their child." Molly whispered to Hyde, tears rolling down her face. Hyde bowed his head and closed his eyes.

_The February air was freezing as Hyde shivered in the cemetery. His mother's arm was draped over his shoulder, an action that made his stomach churn. It was only the Carring family invited to the burial, and Steven was the only Hyde; the rest of his father's side didn't give two shits about their nephews or grandchildren. Or they were in prison and couldn't attend._

_His grandpa stood next to Edna who hadn't shed a tear. His grandma was holding his hand as they stood at Chris's grave. They each had a handful of soil to throw on the grave; but it only made Hyde want to throw up; throwing dirt on his baby brother. The same baby who he had changed his diaper less than three days ago. The same baby he had fed, put to sleep and kept warm up until February fourteenth. The baby he killed._

_He hadn't listened to the priest or minister, whatever he was, as he spoke. It was just a bunch of crap about the afterlife and eternal rest. Something that scared him. His brother would be too cold six feet under. What if his casket was damaged, or he turned to dust? He didn't really understand what happened after people were buried; he thought they'd be pretty lonely. Even if they were dead._

_Hyde tossed his handful of dirt first, it landed with a thud on the wooden casket. Edna was next, followed by his grandparents. Edna bent down next to him as they watched the diggers fill the hole. His body tensed as his mother's lips were centimeters from his ear; he could smell the alcohol on her skin._

_"It should be you down there," she whispered, causing Hyde's blood to run cold. _

As the church doors closed, a chill ran down Hyde's spine as he saw the much larger casket in the lobby. They were waiting for the other attendees to show up; for now they would be standing next to the open casket.

He squeezed Molly's hand tighter once he felt her shaking. Every step she took toward the coffin caused another tremor. He didn't know why they were having an open casket funeral, if he had shot himself. Hyde didn't want to look in the casket, and he wasn't going to let the three kids until it was time for the final goodbyes.

Molly let go of his hand and rushed to the casket. Tears spilled freely from her eyes as she brushed her son's shaggy bangs off of his eyes; Hyde couldn't turn away. He should get her, calm her down, but he couldn't bring himself to do that.

"Baby, why did you do this? Didn't you know I loved you?" Molly whispered, hands caressing his makeup-covered face. "I need you so much, I wish I could hold you in my arms one more time. I wish I could have..." Molly trailed off, collapsing on the ground in a fit of violent sobs. "That's my baby!" Hyde set down Abby, who James held close to him, and knelt down next to Molly.

"Hey... Molly, you gotta be strong; he wouldn't want you like this. You're gonna be okay," He heard her struggle for air after hearing his words. He placed a hand on her shoulder and took a deep breath; he didn't know what to say.

"Steven, that's my baby in there! My baby can't be dead! Please, God!" She shrieked, Hyde grabbed her to muffle her cries in his shoulder once more. The guests were all looking back into the lobby, trying to figure out what was going on.

Hyde ran his hand through her hair and rocked them back and forth; her parents had taken James, Max, and Abby into the church already. He just wanted her to feel better, but there was nothing he could say. He felt her arms around his shoulders and he closed his eyes, not wanting to see the entire church watching them. They'd probably wonder if he was her boyfriend.

"Molly, you have to be strong for Max and James and Abby. They need you, they need their mom. You can't give up on them, you can't give up your other children like Edna." Hyde whispered. "Please, don't let me watch you hurt yourself and them like she did to us? I can't lose you, too." Hyde whispered, allowing his emotions to finally be spoken. In his mind he sounded like a child; his eight year old self begging for someone to take care of him. To watch over him like a mother was supposed to. He had seen too much disappointment and felt too much hurt to watch such a strong woman fall to pieces. "Sean will always be with you, and you're always going to miss him. But he's always gonna be with you."

Every day she was going to wish her son was sleeping soundly in the morning. Every morning there would be an empty chair where he'd sit, one more open seat in the car. There would be one less Christmas present to buy, a birthday not celebrated. Hyde knew how it was more than anyone else. He still had every single one of Chris's presents in his room, meant to give him every year for his birthday and for Christmas. But everyday the ache she would feel would turn into happiness watching her other children succeed, accomplish their dreams. That's how he felt by watching Abby, by observing his friends, and living with the Formans. At least he had them.

He held her head against his chest as the pallbearers carried the casket down the aisle so she wouldn't have to see. He could hear her muffled screams of agony against his chest, feel her hot breath absorbing in his skin, and her tears begin to soak his shirt. He didn't mind, it just made _him_ hurt. "My son," she repeated through her sobs, he felt his own eyes sting upon hearing her misery.

Slowly, he stood up, making Molly stand as well. She leaned against him as he led them into the church.

All eyes were on them as they walked to the front pew. His stomach squirmed with nerves when seeing the countless eyes rest on the sight in the middle of the aisle and he bowed his head. He hated being center of attention, he hated being watch by people as they criticized him by a single glance. For a person who didn't give two shits about what people thought, he cared.

He sat down after Molly, who was now resting her head against her mother, her parents eyed him momentarily before whispering to their daughter. Hyde grimaced and sat back in the pew, his eyes focused on the casket that sat in the center of the altar.

_"You do it," Sean whispered to an eleven year old Hyde, handing him a beer bottle. Hyde shook his head and set down the glass bottle on his wooden floor._

_The door to his room was closed, but even still smoke was filling the room. Hyde was sure he was second-hand high right now, and Sean was, as well. They were angry at their parents for partying so late; Sean wanted to go home and sleep, and Hyde just wanted peace and quiet for once._

_"Edna will kill me!" Hyde murmured back, Sean shrugged his shoulders._

_"Well someone's gotta do it and it's not me." Hyde groaned; he was right. This had to be done. The two boys were not the type to complain about their parents partying late or talk about anything. They showed it in actions._

_Hyde picked up the bottle and carefully opened his door. After violently shaking the bottle, he chucked it down the hallway as hard as he could. The sound of glass shattering filled his ears and they both started laughing when the adults started screaming in anger. He quickly slammed his door shut and locked it, and pressed his 65 pound body against it in hopes it would keep them from opening the door. But it wouldn't take away their hysterical laughter._

_"That was awesome! You're the coolest!" Sean cried, grinning at his role model. _

Hyde felt a hand on his knee and glanced down. In front of him he saw Abby, who had crawled under the seat to sit next to him. A small smile crept on his face as the little girl hopped up to sit next to him.

"Why Seanny in there?" Abby whispered to him, Hyde sighed softly and lifted her on his lap, holding her close to him.

"He is going to heaven," Hyde replied in a soft whisper; he didn't want to be the one to tell her exactly what "death" was.

"But why? Does he not like me?" Hyde squeezed her and shook his head.

"No, he loves you, God just wanted him to be an angel." That was the first time Hyde actually spoke like he believed in a god and heaven.

"He's an angel?" Hyde nodded and ran his hand through her tamed curls.

"Yeah, and he's going to watch over you," he whispered reassuringly, Abby rested her head against him and whimpered softly.

The knot in his throat was so tight he could barely breathe. All he could do was hold her close to him and will himself not to think.

_He was supposed to hold Chris and make sure he was safe. He was supposed to reassure him like he did with Abby. He never had the chance to show Chris anything. Or be there for him. All he did was let him die._

_He could imagine Chris now, glaring at him with Bud's eyes and straight, shaggy brown hair, with the same smirk he wore. He'd be happier, he wouldn't have gone through the things Hyde had, he wouldn't let it happen. But there would be anger towards him, if he was alive, or dead, and he could talk to Hyde now, he'd hate him._

_"Why did you kill me? Why would you let me die? You tried you hardest but it wasn't good enough. You let me die because you were jealous mom loved me more than you. If I was alive she wouldn't have left us. But everything is your fault and it always has been. You'll never be good enough, you got what you deserved from Mom and Dad because you made their lives hell. I can't believe you're my brother; I'm glad I died so I didn't have you to look up to." _

"I'm sorry," Hyde whispered, feeling his eyes burn once more.

_And Chris would laugh at him and shake his head. He'd have a younger laugh that resembled Bud's; it chilled him to the bone as his imagination played the voice, causing it to echo through his mind. _

_"If you were my big brother you wouldn't let me die. You wanted me to die, didn't you? And look where that got you? A lot more bruises and fucks than you ever wanted." _

_"I was only eight." Hyde's conscience fought against his imagined brother. His conscience was weak, constantly marred by memories and emotions he suppressed. Like claws lashing against his brain, scratching and cutting their way to the rest of him. _

_"Yeah? Well I'm nine. Or I would be if you hadn't killed me. I wouldn't have made such a stupid decision like walking two miles in a blizzard. But then again, it was you who did it." _

Hyde shook his head and stared at the pastor who continued his monologue and reading the passages out of the bible. Abby was playing with his necklace again, and he hugged her.

He felt a head rest on his shoulder and he glanced over; Molly was once again finding comfort in him. He turned back to the pastor and sighed heavily. Her quivering body caused his own shoulders to shake as she sobbed silently. His eyes remained stone, fixed at the man preaching to the mourners.

"Sean's soul is living in the hearts of his loved ones, by our actions, feelings and thoughts. Though he may physically gone, he will always remain with us all as we continue our lives..."

* * *

Hyde couldn't sleep. After four hours of ceaseless tossing and turning, a fit of him versus the blanket, and drinking too much water, Hyde was now sitting on the living room couch, his mind wide open. His eyes remained on the blank television screen, in the dim light he could see himself leaning back on the couch.

Of course, after the funeral, things were brutal. As soon as Hyde turned off the car in their driveway, Molly was in her room where she stayed all night. He understood why; with two screaming boys and an overtired three year old after her oldest son's funeral, she just needed to be alone. He checked on her every couple hours to make sure she was okay. He cooked the leftovers for their dinner, he still didn't have an appetite.

James and Max had gone to bed at eight, the same time as Abby. He was sure the older two stayed up longer, but they just kept to themselves in their room. Abby hadn't woken up at all, which he was thankful about. He hadn't seen Molly at all for six hours.

Hyde laid back, head on the arm rest as he stretched his body across the couch. His feet hung off the other arm rest, and he wiggled his toes in boredom. His stomach growled yet he chose to ignore it; though he was physically hungry, he had no desire to eat; his stomach still felt sick.

Usually he liked being alone; solitude was all he ever wanted. Minus a couple of hours with his friends and the Formans. He hated being in a crowd of a ton of people, unless it was a concert. But now all he wanted was someone else in the room; anyone. Desolation had hit him harder than the shock of Edna's absence.

His right hand ran down his left arm, lightly scratching at the skin as if there were an itch. He closed his eyes and sighed softly, trying to clear his head so he could actually sleep. It was two in the morning and Abby usually woke up at six. He needed to sleep. His left hand now scratched down his right arm repeatedly.

_A boy in the corner of a dark room filled his head; he could see it crystal clear. Swollen blue eyes stared at the door the little boy was trying to hold shut. Soft whimpers came from his throat as the door shook from furious pounding on the other side. The tiny boy's knees were bent to his chest and he sat in the fetal position, rocking back and forth with blood flecked hands and swollen face. _

_"Please... leave me alone... just leave me alone..." the brown haired boy whispered repeatedly, shoulders shaking as tears trickled through the swollen shut blackened eyes. His fingers scratched at both of his arms, ridding himself of the disgusting torture he had been put through. He needed to make himself raw, new. Until he shed this layer of skin he'd feel dirty. "God, please kill me...?" _

_Sobs tore through his throat as he begged for the Lord to answer his only prayer. He'd rather die than live through the hell he was put through every day and night. He couldn't wake up with blood and sweat all over himself anymore. He couldn't walk on nearly crippled legs any longer. He was too weak._

Hyde wrapped his arms across his stomach so he wouldn't scratch at himself any longer. His eyes remained open so the memories wouldn't flash back; he couldn't take it.

He needed a smoke.

Hyde rolled off the couch and onto the floor with a loud thud. He was used to doing that every morning; it helped wake him up. Standing up, he shook his head and went to his duffel bag of his clothes he brought for the week he'd be staying with the Masons. Inside were two packs of cigarettes, one actual nicotine, the other joints. He pulled out his first pack, leaving the other for basement time; he couldn't do that here.

Hyde found his Zippo lighter underneath the other pack and quickly ran outside. Thoguh he was just in his boxers and a thin white ribbed tank top, no one else would be up; especially anyone in the neighborhood; they were all passed out from partying.

Closing the door, he leaned on the porch railing and fliipped open his lighter. He pulled out a cigarette and placed it in his mouth, then lit the butt from the extra large flame he made by himself in boredom. He breathed in the smoke and instantly felt himself relax. It had been three days since he last smoked; thankfully he wasn't too addicted yet. He exhaled the long drag he took through his nose and glanced up at the sky.

Every time he look at the stars, he thought of Donna. He remembered back when they were younger, up until they were sixteen, and they would just sit outside in the summer and fall and try to find shooting stars. They'd end up falling asleep talking and sometimes they ended up cuddling. Back then he remembered he loved waking up with her in his arms. And he thought she liked it, too.

For awhile he couldn't look at anything but the ground after she and Eric started dating; more because of how desperate he became rather than being rejected. He knew he'd always be second choice for her; she had even told him that at one point. Even though that wasn't too long ago, he had changed a lot; Donna became his sister again, not the girl he wanted to be with for a few weeks. He was glad they had the relationship they did, and they wouldn't last like Forman and Donna.

_'Man I miss them,'_ he thought with a grimace, flicking his cigarette. It had been three days since he had seen or talked to them. Mrs. Forman called him every night and told him that everyone missed him, though Red probably liked having one less mouth to feed, and one less moron in his basement. When he got back he'd have to hang out with them.

"Steven? Steven where are you? Oh! There are you... you are..." Hyde froze in his spot and slowly turned around. Molly staggered outside and rested against the door. "I've been lookin' all over for ya... I thought you left..." She slurred.

_'Oh God,'_ Hyde thought weakly, watching as Molly smiled at him.

"Molly, you're drunk." Hyde grumbled angrily, glaring at her. He was not going to let her complete sobriety crumble because her son died. She had three other children to raise; she was not going to turn out like Edna.

"No... I just... drank a little." She admitted finally, her face falling. He shook his head and dropped his cigarette, crushing it with his bare foot; he couldn't even feel it burn the padding of his heel. He grabbed her arm and took her back inside; he'd make her some coffee and toast; that would prevent a hangover. She hadn't drank in almost two years, she wasn't going to handle this well. She never did.

"Steven, quit worrying about me, I don't need-" she stopped, watching as he popped two pieces of toast in the toaster. Hyde shook his head and closed his eyes; today was one of the most stressful days of his life. And he had done it all sober.

Hyde remained silent as he poured the two cups of coffee that had just been brewed into a mug. He stirred in two tablespoons of sugar; he remembered how she, Will, and Edna all drank their coffee to prevent hangovers. She always had the most sugar.

"Here," he murmured, handing her the cup. Her shaky hand wrapped around the handle as she took a sip.

"You're good at making coffee," she told him, stumbling as she went to sit at the table. "You're so good..." Hyde chuckled softly and coughed softly into his arm, smoker's cough. When the toast popped out of the toaster, he didn't even bother buttering it as he handed the two slices to her. Now he had something else to do.

With Molly distracted by coffee and toast, Hyde walked down the dark hallway. His footsteps caused the floorboards to creak, yet it was too quiet for Molly to notice. He pushed open her bedroom door and saw her lamp was still on. Inside as a bottle of wine; at least it hadn't been whiskey or vodka. He swiped the three fourths empty bottle from the floor and refrained from drinking any; although he'd drink any alcohol at this point.

He hurried to the sink and poured the wine down the drain, causing Molly's head to snap in his direction.

"No! Steven, no! I need that!" She gasped in shock, running over in her drunken state. She took the already empty bottle from his hands and stared into it with bloodshot and puffy eyes. "How could you do this to me, Steven?"

"I didn't do anything! You can't let this happen to you. Your other children need you, I will NOT let you turn out like Edna. I needed her after Chris died but I had no one! You aren't going to start drinking again because your son died. I'm sorry, it's terrible, I feel awful and can't believe it happened, but you are stronger than this!" He took the bottle away from her and smashed it in the sink. "You have your three children who need you now more than ever and you're not abandoning them like Edna did to me!" Hyde hissed furiously in a hushed manner to not wake the three sleeping kids.

"I... can't do this on my own. I need help." Hyde grabbed her shoulders and shook her gently once.

"That's why I'm here." He answered matter-of-factly. He wouldn't always be "there" but if Molly ever needed anything he was just a phone call away. As always.

A pair of lips suddenly pressed against Hyde's mouth with a fury that shocked his nerves. Instinctly, he kissed back; something he was used to doing with any girl he'd fool around with; but this was Molly. His eyes widened and he pulled away quickly, unsure of what to do or say. He felt her hand on his side, slowly moving to the bottom of his shirt, under the cloth and felt his taut stomach.

"Molly, stop," Hyde squirmed from her touch, and grabbed her arm.

"Steven, you said you'd do anything-"

"And you're drunk," Hyde grumbled, feeling a whole new kind of wrong from this situation. She had been there his entire life; she was practically his mother. After all, she raised him better than Edna.

Molly pressed him against the sink and he felt her body against him, her face inches from his. Oh God, she was drunk and horny and he was anything but that. He felt her hands caress his sides and up his body, causing a sick feeling to wash over him.

"Molly, you're drunk, you don't want to do this. Just go to bed," He could easily push her off of him and take her to her room where she'd pass out in a few minutes. But she was a she and he would never touch a woman in a harmful way.

He could almost hear Kelso and Fez egging him on to just go with it and fuck her like she wanted, but that was sick. He knew better than that; it was lower than low. It was something Edna or Bud would do. Hyde sighed and breathed slowly, though he didn't want it, he was still a teenaged boy.

Hyde gently wrapped his hands around Molly's wrists, slowly pulling her away from him. By the time he had her peeled off of him, Molly collapsed into him. A low groan of annoyance rose in the back of his throat as he felt her head roll, lolling over his arm; she was out. Hesitantly, he lifted the light-weight woman in his arms and walked down the hallway to her room.

As he carried her into the dark lit master bedroom, he found his mind whirring once more. He couldn't believe what just happened. Molly was drunk and had been trying to mask her pain; booze and sex wouldn't work in the long run.

But she had kissed him and had wanted to... Hyde shuddered at the thought. That woman wasn't Molly. She coudn't battle with her alter ego, who rose to the surface and took possession of her after drinking alcohol. She couldn't do that now, or ever again.

"G'night," he whispered, setting her down on her bed. He pulled her blankets over her body and closed her door before resting against the tall mahogany wood.

A strangled gasp came from his throat and he clutched his stomach as nausea flipped his insides. Hyde's vision grew fuzzy as dizziness tore its way through his mind, causing him to grab at the doorway for support. Against his will, he slid down the door, crumbling to the ground with heavy breaths and his head between his bent knees.

_"This won't hurt a bit, Steven, don't worry..." the young woman whispered to him in the dark. His hitched breath seemed to pound through his skull, filled his head with white noise and he shook his head. The fourteen year old Hyde shook his head, closing his eyes as his boxers were peeled away, leaving him naked in the dark. His stomach was in ravage as he felt her warm lips on his collar bone. 'You'll like it..."_

_"I don't want this," he whispered, lifting her head from his chest. Green eyes gazed up at him, pupils dilated and a drunken sultry smile spread across the fragile face._

_"Yes you do, and the best part is, Edna won't ever find out..."_

_"She wouldn't... don't..." His crazy hormonal body was fighting against his common sense as he felt her soft hand glide down his stomach. With a knotted stomach, he shook his head and closed his eyes._

_"This will be our little secret," Molly whispered, sealing her promise with a kiss._

Hyde shook his head as his arms scratched at his shoulder blades furiously, trying to rid his dirty shell from his body. The more he tore at himself, the better he felt. The raw flesh and blood flecked fingertips were just a minor side effect.

This whole day felt like an acid trip gone wrong. He slipped in and out of memories that felt so real, memories that tugged away a piece of his zen and left him open like a salt-poured wound. This wasn't what he came here for; he was the strong one, he wasn't supposed to be the one breaking down. Hyde breathed through clenched teeth as he finally tore his hands away from his shoulders and opposite arms, leaving deep scratches that oozed blood. More to spill.

And here he was shaking and acting as if he were on some hallucinogen yet he was completely sober. A part of him wished he _were_ on some drug so his overactive mind had an excuse. He needed it all to stop. He needed to find his zen.

But the past and his scars had transformed into a monster in the back of his mind, slowly digging its way to the center of his brain and sucked the zen out of him like a leech. He was an open book, convulsing with a cold, clammy sweat dampening his skin and clothes. His eyes were dry and closed as he wrapped his arms around his body.

"Styfoam what's wong?" Hyde snapped his head up and found Abby standing in the doorway of her room. She slowly walked up to him and placed her hands on his bent knees.

"Nothing, Abby," Hyde mumbled, lifting her onto his lap. She crossed her legs and sat comfortably on his lower stomach and grinned happily at him. His eyes brightened and a small smile tugged at his own lips.

_Innocence at it's finest hour._


	57. Outside

_**Author's Note:**_

_**Hello all! Long time, no see, I know. Don't remind me. I feel absolutely terrible for this delay. I suppose you can say five month hiatus. I bet I've lost a lot of readers, and I'm sorry. It's just... I'm in my junior year of high school and as some of you may know that's the most important year of your entire high school career. I've been working so hard to stand out among the rest of the class; I've had several art pieces featured in showings throughout the state, I'm in two honor choirs, was nominated best supporting actress for our One-Act play in both conference and district competitions, and so much more. I mean, I know that may not sound like a lot but I'm literally busting my butt with all of this stuff. I'm not trying to complain, I'm more just trying to let you all know why I've been away. I understand if you won't continue reading, but I really, really hope I can start to update more. I know I've said that before. But I mean it. **_

_**Anywho, I just want to thank all of the watchers, favoriters, and reviewers out there. Throughout the months I've received many of these even during the hiatus and I just want to thank all of you. I wish I had all the names of you but I really don't. So here's a big hug!**_

_**But... there have been three amazing authors, and three amazing friends, who have supported me throughout the entire story. They talked to me while going through the hiatus and they have done so much for me. They're some of the sweetest people and I just want to thank them for all they have done for me. Thank you so much to Carol, Prissy, and Lisa. AKA twiniitowers, nannygirl, and MistyMountainHop. These three are just... wow. I love their work and I remember back when I first started writing. I'd sit here and think, "I wish I could write like nannygirl and twiniitowers. I wish I could be that good." And now I'm friends with them... and they've inspired me so much. I'm sure you've read their amazing work, but if you haven't, check them out. They are absolutely incredible.**_

_**Thank you, so so so so so so so much.**_

_**Love you all!**_

_**Angie**_

_**PS: There is a lot of dialogue, but that happens with television shows. Hope it's not too bad. And hope it's worth the wait!**_

_**As promised- Carol, I hope you like this one. Because this one is dedicated to you -big hug- -tackle glomp-**_

* * *

_And you bring me to my knees again. All this time, that I can beg you please, all the times that I felt insecure. And I lift my burden out the door. I'm on the outside, I'm looking in; I can see through you, see your true colors. 'Cause inside you're ugly, you're ugly like me. I can see through you, see to the real you. All this time that I felt like this won't end was for you. And I taste what I could never have, it's from you. All those times that I tried, my intention, full of pride; and I waste more time than anyone. All the times that I've cried, all this wasted, it's all inside. And I feel, all this pain, stuffed it down; it's back again. And I lie here in bed, all alone, I can't mend. And I feel tomorrow will be okay... _

"Do you remember that year you and I pulled that prank on everyone?" Donna asked Hyde two days later as she sat next to him on the couch. The auburn haired girl offered him a bag of peanuts and candy corn that she had brought over from her house. Hyde shook his head and lifted his stolen beer to his lips.

"Yeah, can't believe we got Red in that outfit," He answered with a smirk as the specific memory flashed before his eyes. His lips curved downward as he turned to Donna and murmured, "we had some good times, you and I." Donna simply nodded and smiled at him.

The two sat in silence as they waited for everyone to show up in the basement as usual. Hyde wasn't used to being in the basement with just Donna, and now that they were in the company of each other, there wasn't much to say. There wasn't much he _could_ say.

This was the first Halloween that the gang wouldn't actually do anything. Last year they had at least gone to a crummy haunted house in Kenosha. Yet that sounded better than bumming around the basement watching stupid Halloween movies.

"Yeah... we did. What happened?" Donna asked suddenly, falling back to his previous statement. Hyde held his tongue as he nearly voiced his thoughts; she and Forman were dating and he was always jealous of their closeness. Instead, he shrugged his shoulders.

"I dunno," Hyde mumbled in response as he scratched at the cuff of his flannel long-sleeved shirt.

"Hyde, can I ask you something?" She blurted, he rolled his eyes beneath his sunglasses and shrugged. She could ask but he wasn't sure if he'd answer. "What... happened with Molly? What was that all about?" He raised an eyebrow as he stared at her skeptically; he was sure Mrs. Forman had told them. But as he noticed her curious expression, he sighed softly.

Molly. It was only two days after the funeral and he had actually just arrived from their house earlier in the day. This was probably the last conversation he wanted to have; Donna would most likely freak out and he just didn't want to deal with it. He had dealt with enough emotions already.

"Uh..." Hyde finally began, scrubbing his fingers through his unruly curls. "Sean died, so I-"

"What? Are you kidding?" Donna cried, causing Hyde to grimace; he had been right on the freak out bit.

"His funeral was the 29th. It's weird, 'cause you know..." He trailed off, the end of the sentence echoing in his mind.

_That could have been me._

"Hyde, I feel so bad. You could have told me. How are they dealing? How are you?"

"They're... dealing." That was the best way he could put it. Molly's relapse made her feel even worse, not that she remembered the specific details of what happened that night. The boy were just trying to get used to their older brother being gone, and Abby kept asking when Sean would be back.

But it's not like he could say any of that. "And I'm fine."

"Are you sure...? I mean, you and him-"

"Donna, I'm fine, really," he breathed in a tired tone. I just don't want to think about it. I'm going to keep tabs on them and check in more than I have... but everything's going to be fine." Donna sighed at his assuring tone and decided to back down with the prodding. He knew she wanted him to be more open with her, like he used to be. But too much had happened since then. It's not like he was mad at her, that wasn't the case. He just didn't want to talk. To anyone.

As if on cue, heavy footsteps pounded down the basement stairs. Hyde nearly sighed with relief but didn't want to anger Donna, so he simply glanced to see who was entering. He gave a nod to Eric who leaped over the couch and fell in the middle with his arm comfortably around Donna's shoulders. Hyde felt his lips fall to a scowl and he turned to face the television and stretched out his legs.

So much for a conversation. The two lovebirds next to him fell into a nest of whispers and cuddles and Hyde rolled his eyes.

He wasn't going to spend another night like this. He was going to find something to do, whether his friends liked it or not.

* * *

"A UNICEF contribution of thirteen cents will feed a child for a month. Man, living in Africa must be great! Everything's so cheap!" Hyde scoffed in disbelief and shook his head. He couldn't put up with another night of Kelso's stupidity, Jackie's self righteousness, Fez's... Fezziness, and Eric and Donna's disgustingly cuddling and whispers of sweet nothings. He dealt with this all the time, and he needed a break. From everything.

But instead he simply turned to Kelso and shook his head. "If you ask me, man, UNICEF's a scam." He voiced, causing Kelso to tilt his head in confusion. Hyde opened his mouth to continue, surprised that Kelso of all people wanted a further explanation to one of his theories.

"If we ask you, everything's a scam," Donna retorted with a smile, Hyde glanced at her, eyes narrowed beneath his shades. He hated how she was around Eric; it was as if she was a bitch to him just to please her boyfriend. So he'd fight back.

"Everything _is_ a scam," he grumbled, knowing that it wasn't necessarily true, but Donna was pissing him off. Eric sighed and stood up. _'Oh great,'_ Hyde thought,_ 'here we go...'_

"Oh, lighten up. Remember how much fun Halloween used to be? Making costumes, Trick-or-Treating-"

"What is Trick-or-Treating?" All eyes seemed to focus on Fez who had piped up from the chair by the door.

"Well, you put on a costume, you go door to door and say, trick-or-treat! And people give you candy." Jackie explained.

"Oh, you got to be kidding me! They just give you candy?" Fez cried in amazement. The other five in the room nodded slowly.

"The best part of Halloween is getting the crap scared out of you. One year, I saw "The Legend of Sleepy Hollow." I couldn't sleep for, like, a month!" Hyde raised his eyebrows in disbelief at his best friend who just said one of the most ridiculous things he had ever heard. And it took a lot for something to be categorized as "ridiculous" for Hyde. Thankfully, he wasn't the only one to be shocked.

_"_They give you candy? Just like that, no strings?" Fez piped up again, trying to find out if his friends were lying. Hyde pressed his fingers to his temples; he was getting a headache already.

"Yes, Fez, get over it!" Donna snapped; that didn't help the current throbbing in Hyde's skull.

"Hey, you guys, you know what? My church is doing a haunted house!" Jackie cried, causing the curly haired boy to smirk in amusement.

"I really don't think anyone's gonna be scared by a bunch of Episcopalians..."

"Unless they have chainsaws! Let's go see The Texas Chainsaw Massacre!" Kelso cried; Hyde considered this suggestion. That actually didn't sound to bad.

"Michael, I told you! I don't like Texans!" Hyde scowled; and her voice had to ruin everything.

"I know! Uh, we can go to Old Maine?" Eric suggested. Hyde bit his lip to stop from snickering.

"Our old grammar school?"

Old Maine... yeah, he remembered that. That school was a sheer reminder of the worst years of his life. It also was the reason for majority of the scars on his body.

"Yeah, sure, you know, a dark, burnt out, boarded up school, very creepy? We could, you know, we could tell ghost stories." Eric backed up his idea.

"...Free candy? Even if you're not from this country?" Hyde groaned in annoyance.

"Yes!"

"Hey, why'd they burn down the school, anyway?" Donna asked, out of curiosity.

Hyde closed his eyes and remembered the flames and the smoke. He could feel the adrenaline running through his veins as he recollected running through the burning halls, throwing books and desks all around. And the exploding pipe.

"Oh, they said it was arson." Jackie replied, breaking Hyde from his memory. His hand was still tracing the skin over his wrist as everyone's gaze fell to him. He glanced up from his daze and backed away.

"What? I was out of town that week," he grumbled; remembering that he had stayed out of school exactly a week for various reasons the week before his attack against Old Maine.

"Hm. How convenient." Jackie huffed sarcastically, Hyde smirked at her; she could believe what she wanted. Through her scrutiny she knew the truth and he wasn't going to deny it.

"So you're telling me…that if I showed up at someone's house and say trick-or-treat, they'll give me a free piece of candy?"

"YES!" Five simultaneous cries rang through the basement in aggravation at their foreign friend. He laughed disbelievingly.

"Oh, I don't believe you." Eric stood up and shook his head before retreating to Hyde's room. Hyde had a feeling he knew what Eric was doing; as it was also partially the storage room still.

A few moments later, the seventeen year old boy returned with a blue and grey uniform, with a dark indigo cape and black mask.

"Put this on. We'll prove it to you!" Eric ordered, throwing it at Fez who grinned.

"Ooh! Batman!" He cried, running up the stairs to put on the costume. Hyde stared at his friend in amusement.

"...What?" Eric asked when seeing Hyde's almost mocking smirk.

"Batman? I'm surprised it's not Spiderman." He joked, Eric rolled his eyes and sat down next to Donna.

"Oh, real mature, Hyde."

"Says the boy with the Spiderman sheets."

Kelso burst out laughing and Jackie raised her eyebrows as she suppressed a giggle. Donna glanced back and forth between the two de-facto brothers and tried to hide her quiet smile.

"Hyde!" Eric cried in embarrassment. "They are _not_!" Hyde just shook his head and chuckled as he fiddled with the lighter in his pocket.

"Whatever, man..." he trailed off, a faint smile still crossing his features as he dropped the argument.

Suddenly, Fez jumped from the seventh stair, in his mindset, he was Batman, and flew into the center of the room. With a giddy smile and a pillow case to collect candy he bounced around the basement. All eyes fell on the already hyper boy who bolted out the door.

"GIVE ME CANDY!"

"Fez, wait!" They all cried, running out the door after him. Hyde followed behind and bit his lip to keep from laughing; maybe this night wouldn't totally suck.

"Okay Fez, you can't just go up and scream at the people for candy," Eric explained as Hyde finally walked up to his friends, gathered at the Forman's driveway.

"Yeah, you ring the doorbell then say 'trick or treat!'" Kelso cried, "Or if you're me, you say "trick my treat!"" Donna wrinkled her nose in disgust and slugged Kelso's shoulder. "Ow, Donna, it was a _joke_!"

"Yeah, real funny." She grumbled sarcastically.

"So I just say trick-or-treat?" Fez asked, Eric nodded and pointed to the house three doors down.

"Go to that one, they always handed out really good candy."

"Will you go with me? I am a-scared." Both Eric and Hyde nodded with smiles on their faces.

"Yeah, c'mon, Fezzy." Hyde led the boy in the Batman costume to the house, with Eric on the other side. Fez walked slower and slower as they approached the home with tons of children running down the lawn.

"It is real!" He cried in amazement before dashing up to the front porch. He continually pressed the doorbell and knocked furiously, when Eric and Donna ran up to stop him.

"You don't want to piss them off!" Eric whispered, before falling back with Kelso, Jackie, and Hyde.

"Trick or treat!" Fez nearly screamed in anticipation.

Hyde refrained from laughing as the door opened to expose a man in his late fifties, with a bowl of candy in one hand, and a bag in the other. The seventeen year old sighed softly; he knew where this was going.

As the apple dropped in Fez's pillow case, the boy's jaw dropped in horror.

"An apple? Where is my candy you son of a bitch?"

Hyde couldn't help but snicker as the door slammed shut.

* * *

In the chilly October night, the Vista Cruiser rolled to a halt in a weed infested gravel parking lot. Six people glanced at each other before four car doors opened to greet them with the bitter wind.

Hyde's eyes fell on to the once tall brick building, with the blocks burned black and falling every which way. Windows were broken and the school was spray painted. So he wasn't the only one to completely vandalize this place; he smiled at that.

He followed behind everyone else as they walked to the side of the school; the lawn was unkempt and the dead grass bit at their feet; Jackie complained about this. Hyde couldn't help but smile as he stared at the basement window, completely torn out by his own handiwork, or should that be footwork? He chuckled.

One at a time, the six teenagers slid through the window. By now all of the glass was torn away, so no one would get hurt. As Hyde wriggled through and landed on his feet, he shook his head; that was so much easier now than it was back then.

Quickly they left the dusty and vandalized locker room and hurried to climb up the stairs to inspect the classrooms. Ash and dust surrounded them, and even small weeds and moss were growing in the cracks of the floor.

Soon they were in one of the classrooms, he didn't remember which teacher's, and they had all spread out to examine the room. To Hyde, all of the rooms looked the same; piles of ash on the floors, with black residue of smoke licking up the walls. The desks were thrown about, and somehow, pages from books remained in tact yet burned.

"Look at this dump! No wonder Hyde tried to burn it down!" Fez piped up, being the first to speak since they arrived. Eyes fell on Hyde once more, and he chose to shrug it off.

"You know, Fez, a man died in that fire. A gym teacher. Coach…Smith. Some say his specter still roams the halls to this day." Hyde heard this rumor before, and while this wasn't true, he'd know, he decided to play along. He held the flashlight he had been given under his chin and began to moan quietly, like a ghost.

"Take a laaaaap! Give me twenty, walk it oooooff!" Both he and Eric fell into a fit of quiet laughter when they saw Kelso's scared face. Fez however, seemed the least bit frightened.

"All right, guys, let's just cut it out, okay? You're... uh... scaring the women!" A gust of wind creaked the room, causing a window pane to slam shut. Jackie and Fez jumped, and Kelso screamed. "OUT OF MY WAY!" He cried, pushing the small girl into his best friend dressed as Batman, who caught her before she rolled his eyes.

"Kelso, it was the window!" He hollered to his friend who had disappeared from the room. Just then, his head poked back in the door way and he laughed nervously.

"...Yeah! I know that..." he fumbled for words.

"Out of my way?" Jackie snapped fiercely, brushing her poncho and walked away from Fez who was beaming with pride.

"No, I didn't say that!" Kelso cried, to which everyone in the room scoffed.

"Yes you did, right before you knocked her over." Fez answered, grinning.

"No! I-I was protecting you!" The tallest boy fought back, flushed in nervousness.

"Protecting me?" His girlfriend hissed, mismatched eyes darkening dangerously.

"Yeah! I was trying to draw the ghost away from you. Ghosts are attracted to movement, and that's a scientific fact!" Hyde sighed and smacked his forehead in the palm of his hand. His night was quickly ruining itself; he needed a smoke.

"You know what, I don't care!" Jackie cried, throwing her hands in the air. Kelso's jaw dropped. "You are an idiot and science is stupid! Donna, let's go!" The short girl barked, marching out of the door in an angry huff. Donna sighed and glanced at the four boys with annoyed eyes as she followed her friend.

"Gee, wonder what we're going to talk about..." she grumbled, exiting the classroom.

Hyde turned on the flashlight in his hand once again and tried not to smile as he held it to his face.

"You're dooooomed." He told Kelso, quivering his voice as he did before.

"Am not!" Kelso cried, batting the flashlight out of Hyde's hands. He glared at his friend momentarily before punching his shoulder. "Ah!" He cried, rubbing where Hyde had slugged him.

"Ai..." Fez trailed off wearily, "I sense there's something in the wind..." Eric stared at him curiously momentarily before he began to push desks together.

"Well, now that Halloween is nearly ruined, I can think of only one thing to make it slightly better." He looked to Hyde, who grinned.

"I'm two steps ahead of ya, Forman," Hyde replied, sitting at the desk and pulled out his lighter and carton of cigarettes.

Honestly it had been over a week since he last partook in the circle. What with Molly and Sean, he just didn't feel right putting her in a situation where she'd be tempted to fall back into her old addictions. Granted, without him she had already done that. He hated to admit it, but the last week had taken a toll on him, he was stressed, drained, and feeling way too many emotions than he ever wanted to. Right now he needed this.

He pulled out two joints and handed one of them to Eric before he flicked his lighter. With the rolled paper in his mouth, he lit the end of the makeshift cigarette and instantly breathed in, holding the smoke as long as he could in his lungs. Finally, he exhaled and repeated this action twice more before passing the stick to Fez.

As his three friends smoked and passed the joints around the "circle," they fell into their old basement routine. Telling stupid stories and crummy jokes that he'd only think were funny if he was high. Which he wasn't even close, yet.

So he eventually had one of the joints and wouldn't give it up. As they continued to speak, he breathed, held, and let go, wishing that his high would hit right away. Gradually, the light, fuzzy feeling began to take over his mind and he found himself chuckling, laughing, and commenting on whatever whoever said.

"-And the man said,_ "Here's your daughter's sweater. She left it in my car, last night."_ And the woman said,_ "Why, that's impossible. My daughter died ten years ago. Wearing that...very...sweater."_" Hyde blinked.

"So?" He asked, not seeing the "scary" side to this incredibly horrifying story Eric promised.

"So, she was dead. And…he gave her a ride. And she was_ dead!"_  
"When I was six, the mayor of our town was hung from a tree. Your story was not scary." Fez pointed out in deadpan, causing Kelso to shudder.

"Not scary? The ghost of a dead girl gave him her sweater!" Eric cried, not understanding why his friends weren't at least freaking out a little.

"What does a ghost need with a sweater, man?" Hyde asked, finding humor in Eric's slight aggravation.

"Maybe it's to keep her guts from falling out?" Kelso interjected, Hyde shrugged at this.

"You can tell it was not scary because Michael-ina here did not run screaming for the door!" Fez piped up, teasing Kelso who glared at his best friend.

"Hey. Where's it written that a guy has to protect his girl? Huh? And I'll have you now that the feminine form of my name is _Michelle_." Kelso defended.

"Look, Michelle," Hyde grumbled, "I don't wanna come out in favor of saving Jackie, but that's the price you pay for docking your love boat in Jackie-vyarta."

"Okay, let me try this again. So, Icabod Crane lived in the village of Sleepy Hollow-" Hyde slammed his head against the desk top.

"Wait, don't tell me. He left his jacket somewhere!" Fez chirped, falling into fits of hysterical laughter.

"Okay, that's it! Halloween's over. There's just... there's nothing that scares us anymore!" Eric surrendered, throwing his hands in the air in defeat. At a cliched timing, two pairs of footsteps sounded from the hall, announcing the presence of Donna and Jackie.

"Guys... we found something scary," Donna announced. Jackie nodded, eyes wide with horror.

"Yeah, it was in the principal's office." Jackie added.

Hyde watched as Donna threw six files on the desk in front of them and he choked on the current inhale of smoke he had taken.

"Oh my god, those look like…like…" Eric trailed off as he shined the light on six names written on the tabs.

"They are. Our permanent records." Donna murmured solemnly.

At once, everyone grabbed for folders, not caring if they grabbed theirs or not. As each flipped through them, their secrets of their past selves were revealed, to eyes that shouldn't have seen the words written on said pages.

"Wow. Our permanent records! Oh, you know what? They probably left these here after the school burned down!" Kelso cried, this caused Hyde to sigh, yet he grinned when holding up a file.

"Hey! Pinciotti, Donna," he said teasingly, skimming the pages. "Well, well! Looks like someone we know had a real hard time keeping her clothes on in kindergarten!" He cried, grinning at Donna who blushed.

"What?" She cried, grabbing the folder from his hands. "It was just a stupid phase," she growled, clutching her file to her.

"Sure glad that's over," mumbled Eric sarcastically, earning a light smack on the arm from his girlfriend.

"Well, listen to this: I fear that despite Steven's high IQ, he's a born trouble maker and is destined to be the smartest man!" Hyde smiled proudly when hearing Kelso read his records. "In his cellblock!" Hyde's happiness faltered.

"What? They couldn't have known that in second grade..." He felt a sick feeling in his gut as he took the folder from Kelso, then began to read aloud. "Steven willfully and maliciously destroyed Christine DelBueno's shoebox diorama of the four food groups."

"You're a monster. A horrible, horrible monster." Donna told him, he glared at her momentarily.

"Yeah, real funny, but I didn't do it." And he hadn't; in fact he remembered being on the opposite side of the room.

"You know what's really funny, Hyde?" Eric quietly asked. Hyde exhaled slowly.

"What, Forman?" He asked, not really caring what he had to say.

"Heh... I broke the diorama."

Hyde stopped reading his file and slowly glanced up to look at Eric. His blood began to boil and his eyes darkened in anger as he stared at his best friend.

"You?" He asked quietly, calmly. Donna bit her lip; she knew that tone. She had heard Hyde use it before, lots of times. When he was angry, on the verge of blowing up.

"Hers was better than mine. I had to smash it. I left out dairy." Hyde threw down the folder and stalked towards Eric.

"You know, that's when everybody turned against me. They pegged me as a bad kid. And once that happens, you're labeled forever. You ruined my life, Forman!" He cried, voice raising after every sentence. Tension filled the air as he nearly pinned Eric to the wall in anger.

"No, he didn't!" Jackie cried, surprising Hyde, and causing him to realize what he was doing. He took a step back from Eric and turned to her. "Hyde, no offense, but with an alcoholic mom and an absent dad, you were bound to end up in jail sooner or later." His jaw clenched as he glowered at her furiously. "Hyde, I _said_ no offense." He scoffed and walked back to the desk, ignoring Eric and Donna's shared looks of worry.

"Yeah, right." He hissed, voice full of sarcasm. "Let's see what that file says about you, Jackie." He picked up her folder and began flipping through it. He heard her laugh quietly in retaliation.

"Go ahead, I have a perfect record!" She cried in defiance, yet faltered when seeing Hyde's growing smile. He raised his eyebrows at her and smugly smirked at her. With eyes on her, he held up her permanent record.

"Would anybody like to know what Jackie's middle name is?" He asked innocently. A high-pitched shriek filled the room. "Jackie's middle name is-"

"NO!" Jackie screamed, charging towards Hyde. He was surprised as she tackled him to the ground, causing his sunglasses to fall somewhere, and her hands wrapped around his throat. His eyes widened as she began to hit him with the flashlight, and he flinched at every beat against his skin. She stopped when seeing the shock and slight fear in his eyes, and resorted to smacking his arm once more before standing up. "Oh, I hate you!" She cried, stomping back to Kelso.

Hyde sat up when making sure she was a ways away from him and he grinned.

"It's Buela!" He almost chirped, earning a squeal of anger from Jackie, yet Kelso held her back. This resorted her to stomp on his foot.

"Okay, okay, nobody move!" Fez cried, yet Hyde stood up anyway. "Somebody stole my Sugar Babies!" He whined, then sat up. "Oh, no, wait! I was sitting on them!"

"Gee, Fez, you didn't give Forman a chance to pin it on me!" Hyde growled, glaring at Eric, who took a step back.

"I didn't pin anything on you!" He cried defiantly, causing Hyde to laugh darkly.

"No? Well, when Mrs. Hodgekis was yelling at me in front of the whole class, you didn't exactly step up and take responsibility. What were you thinking?" Hyde couldn't help but let his anger show through, maybe even some of his hurt did too, at least to Donna. He couldn't help it; his best friend had been the main reason he was forever known as "the bad kid." He had a chance, and Eric took it from him.

"Hmm... I guess I was thinking, I'm seven!" Eric retorted, flailing his arms as if it were the most obvious thing in the world.

"Hey, hey, hey! Let's not fight, all right! It's Halloween, man! It's time for peace on earth and good will towards men! Let's read another file." Kelso cried, Hyde shook his head; he did not want to hear Kelso's horrible attempts at peace.

"Yeah, 'cause that's working out great so far." Donna grumbled, folding her arms over her chest as she stood between Eric and Hyde.

"All right, fine! I'll read from my own, okay?" He paused momentarily as he began to read through the folder. "Oh, okay. Here's a secret you guys don't know about me 'cause it happened the year before I moved here. When I was in first grade I used to wear this red cape to school and pretend I was Superman." Fez tittered quietly.

"Must've looked really stupid," he teased Kelso before fixing his Batman gloves. The taller boy gazed at him with raised eyebrows; even he saw the hypocrisy. _  
_  
"Wait, w-wait, first grade?" Eric asked skeptically.

"Yeah...?" Kelso trailed off, unsure of what the big deal was.

"No, no, no, when you moved here when we were all in first grade, that's how we met."

"...No, we didn't." Kelso stammered nervously, then yelped as Eric ripped the file from him. Hyde watched as Kelso gazed at the floor and Eric's jaw dropped in awe.  
"Man, you had to repeat first grade?" Eric asked incredulously, staring at Kelso in a whole new light.

"Oh my god! Michael, say it's not true!" Jackie gasped, not wanting to believe such a thing about her boyfriend. Hyde's mind began to think. If he was really a year older than them...

"It was- it was cursive writing, all right? All those…stupid…squiggles and bumps! I wouldn't do it!" Kelso finally blurted, much to Hyde's amusement.

"You mean you couldn't do it." He mumbled with a smirk, Kelso turned to him, almost glaring.

"No, I wouldn't do it, and that's why they held me back! Plus, I might've killed the class bunny," he choked back a sob and fell to the floor on his knees. "WHY?" Fez immediately walked over to him and wrapped an arm around him comfortingly.

_"_It's okay, Kelso, let it out..." He mumbled, Kelso sniffled, and Hyde turned away; God this was like Eric and Donna.

"It sucked, you know. Living this lie, pretending to be a year younger than I really am." Hyde blinked and snapped his head back around, so he had been right.

"Wait a minute. You're eighteen?"

"Yeah. I mean, that's why I've always seemed more mature than you guys." Hyde almost laughed at that, but he was pissed.

"Are you telling me that all this time you could've been buying us beer?" He asked darkly, staring Kelso down. Fez gasped and backed away from Kelso, also looking at him with hurt in his eyes.

"You bastard!" Fez declared, stomping his foot and folding his arms indignantly.

"What-no! No, it's not what you think!" But of course, Hyde didn't buy that. Kelso was eighteen; he could buy beer and he never thought to tell them.

"You're dead to me." He hissed lowly.

"But Eric ruined your life!" Kelso defended himself, yet Hyde just shook his head.

"And if I had a beer, I could be getting over it right now. Beer!"

"Beer!" Eric backed him up, as Donna and Fez started advancing on Kelso. Jackie skittered in front of them, protecting Kelso, and she pushed them back with as much strength as she had.

"All right! All right! Everybody just leave him alone! Okay? Because he may be a liar, but at least he's not a back stabber like Eric." She tried to turn the blame once again.

"Stay outta this, Buela," Donna barked, standing tall in front of the raven-haired girl.

"Oh, don't call me that!"

"Oh, sorry! Buela!"

"Fine! You know what? Donna kissed Hyde last year." Hyde felt all the warmth and blood drain from his body as he heard Jackie's cry. His stomach knotted as Eric and Donna both looked at Jackie, jaws dropped.

"What?" Eric asked, trying not to believe what Jackie said. Hyde kept his eyes lowered; did she have to bring that up?

"Don't mess with me!" Jackie directed to Donna, who faltered next to Eric.

"That's…that's a lie, Hyde kissed me." Hyde felt a slap to the face, much like the one she had given him when he had kissed her. It was true though, he wasn't going to deny it. Or cover it up like Forman did.

"Well, that is just so much better!How could you do this, man?" Eric began walking up to him, and Hyde just smiled smugly.

"Guess I'm just a born trouble maker. Or maybe you turned me into one." He offered, raising and eyebrow as they stared each other down.

"You are so dead, Buela!" Donna cried, about ready to tackle her to the ground.

"Hey, hey! Leave her alone, all right?" Kelso held on to Jackie protectively, to which the smaller girl was thankful for. But Donna only took this opportunity to drag Jackie down.

"Okay, yeah. Jackie told me Fez was a better kisser than you, Kelso." Donna blurted, Jackie squeaked in embarrassment and Kelso pulled away from his girlfriend in disgust.

_"_Were you ever gonna tell me about Hyde?" Eric asked Donna, with hurt in his eyes. She looked at him, about to answer, when Hyde interfered.

"Hurts when your friends stab you in the back, don't it?" He grumbled.

"How would I know? I have no friends! Let's go, pal!" Hyde laughed and shook his head as Eric pushed him slightly.

"Oh, you really wanna do this, Forman?" Hyde hissed, pushing back, slamming him against the wall. His fist clenched and he raised it. A hand gripped his arm back however, and he spun around, to find Donna holding him back with terrified eyes.

_"_STOP IT! Can't you see what is happening? Those permanent records are tearing us apart!" Fez shouted from the corner of the room where he watched his friends completely unravel before his eyes.

"Batman's right." Eric mumbled, slowly backing away from Hyde, looking at him with remorse in his eyes.

"Look what we've become-" Hyde added, sending the same look back to Eric, as his own form of apology.

"We're like animals..." Donna let go of Hyde's fist yet stood beside him to make sure he'd stay calm.

"Those files…are evil, man."

"We've gotta destroy them."

"But how, Jackie? How?" Eric finally asked, she shrugged her shoulders.

"Oh my god, now my Sugar Babies really are gone!" Fez shrieked, feeling the Batman pants and all over him to see if he had somehow stuck them anywhere. Hyde sighed and dug in his pocket before tossing the box to Fez, who held them protectively.

"I'm sure there's a shovel somewhere, we could bury them." Hyde suggested, picking up the files.

"Like burying our past..." Donna trailed off, glancing at Hyde momentarily who nodded. Eric took a deep breath and nodded.

"Okay, everyone... let's find a shovel."

* * *

The air was blowing slightly as they gathered around the trees fifteen minutes later. Hyde tossed away the shovel he used to dig a hole big enough to completely hide the records, and stood up. Brushing his dirty hands on his jeans, he stood next to Eric and Donna.

The full moon shined brightly in the sky, illuminating his name on the file and he turned away. A wolf howled in the distance, and Jackie whimpered.

"Michael, I'm cold. And this is stupid! We should just burn the files." Her boyfriend wrapped an arm around her and shook his head.

"Jackie, they've already been in a fire. They can't be destroyed that way!" He reminded her; Hyde didn't want to say that they were most likely in a metal bin in which they wouldn't burn. Instead he just threw them in the dirt.

"See you in Hell, permanent records," he mumbled, before kicking the dirt over them.

_"_And we have to swear we'll never speak of this ever again." Eric decided, looking at Hyde, who nodded.

"Except the part about Kelso buying us beer." Donna added, to which everyone nodded.

"Yeah, naturally. But otherwise it's like…this night never happened, okay?" A quiet pause fell over them as they all glanced at each other. The secrets and memories that would forever change how they saw each other passed before their eyes.

"Okay," everyone finally agreed in unison. Another moment of silence and Hyde, with his head lowered, grinned.

"Buela," Jackie shrieked and began to hit him with her purse and hands, and he actually laughed before running away from her and to the car. She chased after him with a blood-curdling war call, and everyone followed to calm her down.

As he approached the Vista Cruiser, he slowed to a walk and turned around, laughing as he saw Jackie attempt to fight off Kelso's hold. He leaned against the door of the car, and sighed softly, watching as his friends continued to walk towards the car.

Donna broke away from the group and ran up to him, he sighed softly; he knew this was coming. She smiled at him and leaned against the car as well, Eric didn't seem bothered by this. He narrowed his eyes; had they talked about this?

"So... was this a horrible Halloween?" She asked, he shook his head. No, he couldn't say it was horrible. Completely mind-altering and made him think of all of his friends completely differently, but not horrible. He just wanted to get away, he felt like his past was catching up to him, fighting its way back into the front of his mind and he just didn't want to think about it.

"Nah," he mumbled, smiling softly and shrugging his shoulders.

"Were you really going to hit him, Hyde? I don't think-"

"I wasn't going to hit him, man," He lied, his stomach twisted at that. The violence he experienced in that school wasn't him. That person he was in there wasn't him, and it scared him. It reminded him of someone else, someone he never wanted to be. All because he felt betrayed- the same thing that happened with-

"Hyde? Are you okay?" Donna whispered, looking into his bare eyes. He took a deep breath and nodded, before slipping on his sunglasses.

"I'm fine."


	58. Say This Sooner

_I can't believe I didn't say this sooner, I'll just believe that I was all displaced. I'll get to speaking, let you know how I feel, I'll get to judging, make you see my appeal. No one will ever see things the way I do; no one will try. All my friends think that I'm gone but I swear, I swear I'm not. This makes me feel that I'll never be quite normal, this makes me act like I'll never get out alive. I'll get to acting, make you all believe me, I'll get to faking, show you all how to grieve. In and out is where it gets back to the place it does make me feel like I just wanna be... just like its touch. No one will ever see things the way I do; no one will try. All my friends think that I'm gone, but I swear, I swear I'm not. I swear I'm not...Se_

**Season Two, Episode Six: "Van Stock"**

A yawn escaped Steven Hyde's lips as he checked his bedroom one last time.

Everything was in it's normal organized disorder and though he didn't trust anyone, he believed Mrs. Forman when she assured him no one would be allowed anywhere near his room.

Hyde felt the insides of his pockets for the third time; the pack of cigarettes, lighter, and his wallet were still in place. Yawning again, he pulled the string to the light in his room and took five steps to the nearly empty main room of the basement.

A smirk crossed Hyde's features as he caught sight of the girl lying on the couch. He slipped his hands in his pockets and raised his eyebrows.

"Did you have to fight off an animal or something?" He teased the red head who rolled her eyes as she attempted to smooth the wrinkles on her shirt.

"Or something…" Donna mumbled, glancing up at him. "Oh, shut up!" she barked as he snickered quietly. "You're one to comment," Hyde furrowed his eyebrows at her comment.

"We vowed to never speak of that again," he grumbled dully as Donna beamed at him, then tilted her head as she saw the folded shirt in her best friend's hands.

"You going somewhere?" She questioned. In response the unruly haired teen shrugged and took the unopened glass bottle of soda from the table. "That's Eric's."

"Too bad," he mocked her tone before taking three large gulps. "And yeah." Glancing at Donna, he carefully set the bottle back in its original position and smiled innocently at her.

Ignoring the angelic look he was trying to pull off, Donna sat up and took the bottle herself. Hyde bit back a grin and she tossed the cap at him. "Molly's again?" She asked, he sighed; of course she'd ask questions.

"Yup." He responded nonchalantly, yet tried to avoid the stern look the red-headed girl held on him.

"This is what… the fourth time in two weeks?" She asked with a slightly sarcastic tone, Hyde sighed softly and shrugged.

"It's whatever, man."

Bu he knew it wouldn't be "whatever" to Donna Pinciotti, however. That was too much to ask for. It wasn't his fault Molly went on a permanent bender and he was the only one she trusted with her children. He was well on his way to fixing the mess, and his constant absence in the gang probably wasn't missed by many.

Instead, she held back her opinions and simply nodded. "How are they doing?" She asked softly, unsure of what else to say. Hyde shrugged once more and played with the ring on his pinky absentmindedly.

"Fine, I dunno…" Donna watched observantly as he rubbed the back of his neck as if he were nervous. "The kids are okay."

"And Molly?"

He grimaced at that. Hyde had been trying to avoid the young mother as much as possible; or at least situations in which they would be alone. He didn't want to be around her after she had drank, which honestly he didn't know when she wasn't drunk. Even after he shouted at her to pull her act together and threatened to call the police… days later she'd call for him as if he were her lifeline. And that's what worried Hyde; he knew he'd always respond to her pleas. He'd do anything for her; he wasn't sure if it was obligation or fear anymore.

And Donna didn't know any of this, no one did. It was a mix of past and future that he didn't want to discuss or even think about. And it would stay that way.

However, Donna caught the hesitance in his eyes when asking about Molly. She wouldn't comment, it wasn't up to her. Instead she waited for Hyde's response.

"She's… holding up," he mumbled, trying his hardest not to scoff. He really cared about Molly. But watching her regress into the same habits she had been in with Edna made him uncomfortable. He wouldn't say he was angry or hurt… or even disappointed simply because he felt he didn't feel those emotions.

The seventeen year old girl beside him smiled weakly and nodded shortly. "Well, that's good. And you?"

"Why would I be upset?" The red-head rolled her eyes at his slightly defensive tone but continued to keep her gaze on him. "I'm fine." She sighed and shook her head.

As soon as she opened her mouth to reply, however, footsteps began to pound down the wooden basement stairs. Both Donna and Hyde turned to find Eric with messy hair and the buttons on his shirt askew.

"I still can't believe you went up there like that," Donna grumbled with a sweet smile directed to her boyfriend. The skinny boy wore his own smug grin as he sat down next to her. Hyde exhaled lowly and stood up; he knew his chance at an actual conversation with Donna had been shot.

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do." Eric chirruped, which resulted in Donna grabbing his arm that was around her shoulders and smack it on his knee. At that note, Hyde took a step to the door.

"I'm outta here. Forman, tell Kitty I'll be back tomorrow." He mumbled, continuing his fast-paced stride to leave the basement.

"Hold up, man! Where are you goin'?" Hyde scowled.

"Relax Forman, it's nothing." Sensing the uncertainty radiating from his de-facto brother, Hyde unrolled a poster conveniently placed in the spare shirt he was taking. "I'm just finding out more about this." He added, showing both of his best friends a flyer for a concert to remember, if they were able to- Vanstock.

"Sweet!" Eric cried, nodding coolly, then looked up at Hyde. "What is it?"

"It's like Woodstock, man. But with vans. It's in a couple of days, so I'm thinking we could steal Kelso's van." Eric laughed and nodded.

"Alright, cool. But couldn't we just have Kelso take us?" After catching Hyde's incredulous look, Eric smiled in understanding. Donna tilted her head.

"You understand that?" She asked her boyfriend, Hyde held back a smirk; she sounded jealous.

"Well, yeah. After living with the guy for awhile you kinda pick up where his "zen" fails." Hyde's face fell as his eyes narrowed in on the skinnier boy. "Like that."

"Zen never fails," Hyde grumbled darkly, earning raised eyebrows from the couple in front of him. "Whatever! Look, just find a way to get Kelso's van, I'm outta here." Before even giving one of them the chance to reply and hinder his departure, he hurried out of the door and up the stairs.

In all honesty he had been considering simply trashing the flyer. He hadn't considered going until he needed a buffer. After that, he just let whatever was going to happen… happen. What he hadn't expected was Forman of all people agreeing to go to Vanstock, and the thought of having to find a way to get tickets seemed like sacrilege.

Of course with the offer in the air, Eric and Donna would ultimately take charge of the planning. Kelso would end up going because it's his van, and Fez and Jackie would tag along simply because their dear Kelso was going.

It seemed like hell wanted to stay with Hyde after all.

The seventeen year old scoffed and exhaled his drag. If it weren't for smoking these days he'd be screwed. It was his caffeine, his necessary drug. But definitely wasn't his drug of choice. AT that, Hyde smiled and flicked the butt of his cigarette before taking another hit.

It troubled him. Everything these days seemed confusing and messy for him and he wasn't used to this kind of chaos. He preferred the threat of being beaten to a pulp rather than that of sharing his mixed up emotions. The fact that he was growing to care that much more for people in general was more than just troubling. He didn't understand how he could feel when he had mastered the art of apathy.

But the moment a pair of tiny arms wrapped around his legs all of his apathy melted away. He bent down and picked up the ever-growing toddler. Her curly red hair was pulled back in two messy braids; as if her brothers had tried and failed to do her hair.

"Styrofoam!" She chirped, always excited to see him even though he was around a lot more lately. He smiled and let her take his sunglasses, trying not to chuckle as she put them on upside down.

"Princess," He replied, bowing slightly and opening the front door to their house.

Instantly he was greeted by the strong smell of something burning, and two boys yelling loudly at each other. Through the haze of smoke coming from the kitchen, Hyde saw Molly laying on the living room couch with a pill bottle in one hand and an empty bottle of Jack on the floor.

Shaking his head angrily, Hyde told Abby to sit outside until he got out there, he didn't want her breathing in smoke, and quickly ran to the kitchen. The sight in front of him nearly made him lose his mind altogether.

The boys were covered in ash and flour as they stared at the roaring fire on the counter and stove while throwing various perishable items into it; paper, food, silverware, bottles… just like him and Sean when they were younger.

"Hey!" Hyde shouted, cutting off the gas from the burner and grabbed the two by their shirt collars. Their wide eyes stared up at him in fear and he shoved them with enough force to shock but not hurt them. "Don't just stare, help!" He cried, coughing into his sleeve as he poured water on the stove, where the fire burned most.

Max and James sheepishly grabbed towels and started hitting the counter, much to Hyde's annoyance. Grabbing the towels, he threw them on the floor and handed them two pitchers full of something. He didn't care what they were, whether it was water or tea, if it wasn't alcohol it would put out the fire. "Dump it!" He cried, rubbing his bare eyes as the smoke stung them.

As if something snapped, the two young boys poured the lemonade and tea onto the counter, causing the ash and burning objects to sizzle and scream as the fire died. Hyde spit on the last ember of flame on the stove, and when he knew the fire was completely out, he slowly turned to the two boys.

"You're going to open all of the windows, and then you're going to come right back in here and tell me what the fuck gave you the thought that doing this was a damn good idea, got it?" He growled darkly, blue eyes blazing with anger and concern for the two boys. James and Max nodded weakly and hurried to do as he said.

They were acting out; he had expected it. With an older brother like Sean, and parents like Will and Molly, it was inevitable. He had been the same exact way. He wasn't quite as angry at them as he was at Molly, who was still oblivious to everything that had just happened and more. The glaze over her eyes told him she probably hadn't even been conscious at all during the entire fiasco in the kitchen. With a frustrated sigh, Hyde scrubbed a hand through his hair and began to toss the burned objects into the metal waste bucket.

After the stove and burners were as clean as he could possibly get them (which as of late wasn't very clean- the house was falling apart once again) he heard the sound of two pairs of feet slowly creeping into the room. Turning around, he caught sight of the small strawberry-blonde boy hiding behind his older brother.

"Ready to explain?" Hyde asked as sternly as he could muster, which was extremely difficult for him considering who he was. _'Just channel Red and Kitty,'_ he thought, and folded his arms as he began to smirk. "Or are you two dumbasses just gonna stare at me?" He added, causing the two young boys to nearly flinch.

Instantly, Max's mouth opened and a rush of words and apologies from nearly burning down the house to nearly killing the class hamster poured out, similarly to the tears trickling down his flushed cheeks. James watched in awe, his mouth slightly agape, as he stared at his younger brother.

"We j-just… we just wanted Mama. It wasn't l-like we were trying to k-kill anybody. We w-were hungry and m-mad and it's j-just not fair!" He finally shouted, stomping his foot on the ground. Hyde couldn't hold back his smile; there was a difference between these two and their older brother, after all. They could express themselves, not hide it all away.

"Lemme guess: It was your idea to start the fire? Get her attention? Nothing like the smell of smoke to do that, eh?" He asked, turning a pointed look to James who shuffled his feet guiltily.

"Uh…" Was all he murmured.

Hyde took that as a yes.

"Do you realize how serious this could have been? Max and Abby could have gotten hurt, or died. Don't tell me that it didn't happen, it easily could. You could've also lost your house and no, you wouldn't get money for it because it wasn't an accident. Do you have any idea what you would have…" Hyde's mind began reeling as a dreadful feeling coursed through him. "…done?" he finished, the slight waver of anxiety and worry was heard simply as a hint of annoyance.

Max seemed to beam at this question. He perked up and nearly shouted, "live with you!"

As the words soaked into Hyde's brain, he felt his stomach churn. He couldn't have been right, but as the half angry/half hopeful eyes of the older of the two boys gazed up at him, he knew it was the cold hard truth. They had done this on purpose so they could live with him.

Hyde's hand covered his face as he avoided the innocent eyes staring expectantly at him. He hoped on e of them would yell, "BURN!" but the fact was neither of them were Kelso, or part of the gang. He had no other choice.

Sighing heavily he finally looked at the two boys, who seemed to hold their breath until he spoke. "You realize that this wouldn't grant you permission to live with me, right? Your mom would go to prison, there would be no help or money from insurance. You'd be put in the system, separated, sent off to different families or left to live in crowded gymnasiums." Hyde somberly murmured, watching as their eyes fell to the floor.

For a moment it seemed as if James or Max would speak. To them, they thought Hyde would continue lecturing. However, no one expected the next explosion from the corner of the room.

"I hate the sytem! I hate govermet!" The three boys turned to the kitchen doorway, and Hyde smiled sadly at the small toddler trying to run to him. She beamed up at him, and curled into his chest as he lifted her up.

"Me too, Princess, me too."

* * *

The events of yesterday were still troubling Hyde as he stared at the kitchen counter at the Forman's house… his house. It seemed surreal, it hadn't quite hit him yet and he hoped it would just disappear. He had no idea what to do, and couldn't talk to anyone about this. Donna and Eric would tell him he needed to stop going over, Mrs. Forman would make a visit, Red wouldn't give a damn… this was something he had to face on his own. But not today.

Today he was supposed to forget about everything and focus on having fun. At Vanstock… which he hadn't wanted to go to in the first place. But of course Forman had planned it all and woke Hyde up at 7 in the morning, when he had just returned from Molly's house no more than an hour before, and just wanted to sleep.

With a grimace, he took the Coke on the counter and walked out the sliding glass door to the garage. However, as soon as he heard Eric's voice, he considered retreating to the basement for eternity.

"No! I didn't know about this!" The wiry boy cried to his disbelieving girlfriend. Hyde sighed.

'Great,' he thought, tossing his bag in the van, 'now I'm going to get dragged into this. Again.'

"Hey, Hyde! Donna just saw Kelso and Laurie making out!" Eric cried, feigning shock as he sent a rather conspicuous look to the curly haired boy. Hyde raised his eyebrows at his best friend, who appeared as a fish out of water, waiting for Hyde to throw him back into safety.

"…so?" He grumbled. The red-head's sharp gaze hovered on him momentarily before glaring back at Eric. The skinny boy seemed to shrink about a foot.

"Aren't you shocked? I'm shocked! For one to have learned about this!" Hyde sighed and shook his head before catching sight of something rather unplanned at the driveway.

"Hey guys! I decided to go! I thought it'd be fun to surprise Michael." The petite brunette chirped, Hyde grinned, as Donna and Eric gaped in horror.

" That would be fun!" He cried, mocking Jackie's enthusiasm. Both Eric and Donna glowered at him. But oh, he was going to enjoy this.

" Um, Jackie, look, you know, before we surprise Kelso, there's something going on that you should know…" Donna announced, causing the youngest member of the gang to tilt her head curiously, a look of worry began to spread across her face.

"What?"

Donna hesitated as she tried to find the words to tell her first girl friend the truth. Finally, she faltered and lowered her gaze.

" You know, Vanstock is gonna be really boring, and it's gonna be muddy, and you know there's a good chance there's gonna be some Canadians there."

" Eeeew!" She exclaimed, looking about ready to run away from Eric's house. Hyde had to stop her.

"No, no, Jackie, you should go. You can't let the Canadians win!" He declared, patting her on the back. Her eyes flicked between him and Donna, and she finally sighed.

"Fez, put my stuff in the back." She told the uncharacteristically quiet boy who held her luggage as well as his. She began to walk to the sliding door of the van, but Hyde stopped her once again.

"Hey, Jackie. You know what would be the perfect surprise for Kelso? We'll pull the curtains, and you hide in the back with us. And at some point, you jump up front and yell surprise!" Eric glared darkly at him; he chose to ignore the poor attempt of intimidation.

"Oh my god, that is perfect!" She squealed, grinning at Hyde, who nodded.

"Now, hop in the van before Kelso sees you. Hurry up!"

Eric, Hyde, and Donna watched as she practically flew into the back of the van. Donna's eyebrows were furrowed as she stared at Hyde, unsure of what to say or think. Eric began walking up to Hyde, ready to give him a piece of his mind. Yet Hyde simply grinned.

_"_Oh, this may be the best road trip ever. " Eric rolled his eyes and settled on a pointed look before walking to the van.

"You know, man, I'm beginning to think you want Jackie to catch Kelso." Hyde simply smirked, and Eric shook his head. Donna, upon seeing his reaction, whispered to him.

"And why is that?"

Hyde gave her an empty stare, as if questioning her sanity. She raised an eyebrow, waiting for his answer. Finally, he shrugged.

"Do you realize how hilarious that'll be? Award winning material, Donna!" She sighed and smirked slightly.

"Uh-huh... sure, Hyde." Donna spoke with a hint of sarcasm as she climbed in the back of the van with Eric, Fez, and Jackie. Hyde grimaced at that, and followed after her.

Honestly, sitting in the back with Jackie and Forman to annoy him sounded better than having to deal with Kelso and Laurie up in the front.

"Ooh, shiny!" Fez cried, holding up an old shoe lace with a ring at the end. Hyde saw his bag was opened, with the contents of it thrown all over the back.

"Fez, man, that's my stuff!" He cried, grabbing the makeshift "necklace" and stuffing it in his pocket. Fez's face fell and he glared at the dark-toned boy. "Put it back, man!" He glanced to Jackie, who was looking through a cloth bag that wasn't supposed to be opened until they were at Vanstock, or at least away from the Forman's house. He rolled his eyes as she lifted a roach clip in mild curiosity.

"What is-?" Eric snickered as Hyde grabbed the small bag and clip from her.

"Nothing you need to know about." He grumbled, running a hand over his face as he tried to stay calm.

They were just like kids, it seemed. This wasn't what he wanted to deal with. He just wanted to sleep, be left alone, and not have to put up with anyone and their bull. He was beginning to regret even thinking this could hold any semblance of fun.

this could hold any semblance of fun.

"You know what, Jackie?" He whispered, nudging the girl next to him, "now would be a good time to surprise Kelso." She beamed at him.

"You really think so?" Hyde nodded with mocking enthusiasm. Of course it would be, for him at least. It would mean one less person to be annoyed with. She covered her mouth as she giddily squeaked and squeezed him in a hug. Hyde sent a gaze to Donna, who was laughing, and mouthed "why is it always me?!"

"You're the best, Steven!" She chirped, before taking a dramatically deep breath and opening the curtains.

"SURPRISE!"

At that moment, nothing had ever seemed more amusing to Hyde than the screams from the front of the van.

Silence fell over the four teens who sat in the back of the van. Donna and Eric had laced there fingers as they watched Fez look through a pink suitcase. The red-head rolled her eyes and took a tube of chapstick from the foreign boy's grip as he took off the cap and almost sniffed it, or ate it; Hyde couldn't really tell what he was going to do with it.

Eric seemed to try to be listening to what was happening in the front. But all that anyone could hear was the rumble of the van and Fez's mumbles of disappointment. Hyde pointed to himself then the direction of the front, and Eric shook his head. The curly haired teen nodded, which resulted in another shake of his best friend's head. They both narrowed their eyes at each other, and Hyde quickly poked his head through the curtains.

What he saw next nearly made him chortle with laughter. Kelso's hands were nearly white from the death grip he had on the steering wheel. His shoulders were slightly hunched as he focused on driving; except his eyes darted to the tan hand of Laurie's that dangled closely to his seat every so often. Laurie wore a pout on her lips, yet her eyes had a glint of mischief as she glanced back at Jackie. The raven-haired girl had her arms folded across her chest and watched the two in the front seats with furrowed eyebrows and a look of confusion and distrust on her face.

Hyde thought maybe she was actually tying two and two together. He decided to break the silence and see if he could make things better; for him at least.

"So, you kids having fun? Nothing like a road trip to get to know each other." Kelso's brown eyes bore into his blue ones from the rearview mirror. He looked about ready to throttle Hyde; something the stockier boy could handle.

"Yeah. Right." Kelso grumbled sarcastically, pulling four fingers down as he kept his hands on the steering wheel. Hyde smirked, and put his arm around Jackie; something that didn't seem to startle the younger girl next to him, but caused a darker glare from the older boy in the driver's seat.

"Like, Jackie and Laurie. They don't really know each other, and yet, they have so much in common." He offered, causing the short girl next to him to stare at him in disbelief.

"Like what?" She asked incredulously, Hyde shrugged and tried to think of something. His fingers brushed against a lock of her curled tendrils and he sighed with relief.

"Well… you both have really neat hair." Both girls smiled at him graciously; which shocked him, because Laurie usually was out to attempt to make his life miserable.

"He's right! I love your hair. What do you use?" Jackie asked the blonde girl, who seemed less interested in the conversation.

"Hot rollers." She mumbled unenthusiastically, twirling a blonde curl around her fingers absentmindedly.

"So do I! I hate styling wands." Jackie exclaimed excitedly, clasping her hands together. Laurie's face lit up with awe at the girl in the back as she turned around.

"So do I!" She agreed.

Hyde couldn't believe it actually worked. He was a genius, after all.

"See? You two keep talking. There may be plenty of other things that you have in common." Both girls tilted their heads curiously at him, and he bit his tongue to keep from snorting. They really were similar to each other, whether they wanted to admit it or not. If they didn't hate each other so much they'd probably be best friends.

"No! No talking. It makes the driver nervous. So just everybody not talk." Kelso cried, scrubbing a hand through his wavy hair. Hyde smirked; he was glad to see everything was turning out perfectly.

"Ok. Let's just sing songs. Who knows the words to "Three's Company?"" Kelso seemed ready to kill himself by hitting his head on the steering wheel until his brains splattered in the car. Hyde beamed.

"I do!" Both girls cried.

From behind the curtains, Hyde could hear Eric snickering, and murmur an "ow" as Donna smacked him. Fez giggled at that.

"No singing!" Kelso all but shouted. Yet the other three passengers up front chose to ignore him.

_"Come and knock on our door…"_Hyde began.

_"Come and knock on our door!"_

_"We've been waiting for you…"_

"We've been waiting for you!"

_"Where the kisses are hers and hers and his-"_ Hyde paused and slapped the back of Kelso's head, causing the driver to startle then reach back to try and punch Hyde. _"-__Three's company too!"_

* * *

Three hours later Hyde wanted to jump off of a cliff and end it all. He hadn't realized that once he had started having them sing "Three's Company" that the girls would share a disgustingly disturbing amount of secrets and other stuff that he'd rather not hear about from anyone. This developed into general girl talk, and he did what Kelso couldn't do, and that was to retreat behind the curtains.

Back there wasn't much better. Eric and Donna had ended any attempts to keep up a conversation with Fez and began making out. Fez, not really minding, was watching them and looking through bags as he did so. A sick squirming began in Hyde's stomach as he tried to sleep yet all he could focus on was the loud kissing from the equally inexperienced pair. There was no relief anywhere.

As soon as the van had parked he made a leap out of the door and stood far away from everyone else. They didn't question his motives as he laid on his stomach in the grass, hitting his head on the ground in the process. They all learned to simply let him do what he felt was necessary a long time ago; and he was thankful for that. The five others began to set up camp, which was really to lay out their sleeping bags and stack the beer that Kelso had brought.

"Wow, man, Vanstock! It's exactly how I pictured it." Hyde said, pocketing his hands as he gazed around the vast grounds of the festival. The scent of marijuana filled the air and he took a deep breath; there was probably enough pot there to last every attendant another twenty years, and then some. This was his kind of place.

A girl staggered by, with mud caking her hair and body. Her hands covered her bare chest, and his eyes widened.

"Has anyone seen my top? I lost my top!" He laughed incredulously, nudging Kelso who stood next to him. Eric had conveniently distracted himself by stacking beers perfectly, and Fez whimpered. Donna rolled her eyes.

"Actually, it's even better than I pictured it!" Donna chuckled and sat down on the grass, prompting Eric to do the same and wrap his arm around her.

A man with wide, maniacal eyes ran out from somewhere, Hyde thought he had just manifested from thin air, actually. He was waving his arms and breathing heavily. Pulling out a bullhorn, staggered backwards and fell against the van behind him.

_"_Do not take the blue acid! If you have taken the blue acid, please report to the Red Cross tent!"

The gang watched in amusement as a group of guys immediately flocked to the tent, wherever it may have been. Hyde smiled to himself and leaned against Kelso's van; maybe this trip wouldn't be so bad.

"Look at this debauchery. This is the smelly underside of a once great nation." Hyde scoffed, and folded his arms as Fez caught sight of a vendor._ "_Ooh, yum! Candy apples!"

Turning to Kelso, Hyde bumped his arm to get his attention. The taller boy turned to him, still wearing a slightly angry expression, and Hyde smirked.

"Hey, man! What d'ya say we go help that chick find her top?" He suggested nodding his head in the direction that the muddy blonde girl went. Kelso sighed heavily and shook his head sadly.

"Nah, gotta stay here with the old balls and chains." His eyes cast a glance to Laurie and Jackie, who were talking animatedly a short distance away.

_"_Y'know, Kelso, did you ever think about being honest with them? Maybe they won't be mad? Maybe, they'll like the idea of sharing you!" Hyde sarcastically teased, hoping this would make a big blowout between the three so he could have even more entertainment. And it would also be payback for the torture he endured in the van.

"Man, that'd be great, huh? You think they'd go for that? 'Cause that's been, like…" he trailed off, then shook his head frantically. "Oh-ho no! You're trying to set me up, Hyde!" Hyde wore his best poker face as he shrugged, then burrowed his hands in his jeans pockets once again.

"You never know if you don't try, man!" He tried to encourage, but Kelso simply sighed and threw his head back against the van in frustration.

"Are you serious? Be serious, 'cause this is serious. This has been a dream of mine since I was a kid and saw "The Parent Trap."" Kelso was staring at Hyde with something he had never quite seen in the older teen's eyes. He was actually taking Hyde more seriously than he had ever taken anything; and that's what began to worry him. But he wouldn't back off from this; this idea was gold.

"There you go!" He simply replied, watching with raised eyebrows as the two girls they were speaking about skipped by. Hyde slowly turned to Kelso.

"Okay! We're heading off to the restroom!" Jackie chirped, linking arms with Laurie. Hyde blinked.

"Okay." Hyde sighed; Kelso didn't realize how serious this could be. And even though Hyde would love it if they spoke about their shared relationship with Kelso, he had to seem like he genuinely cared about his friend's predicament.

"Oh, man, they're going to the restroom? You know what girls do in the restroom, right?" He asked, Kelso's face scrunched as he shuddered.

"I like to pretend like they don't do that." Hyde was about ready to slam his forehead against the back of the van.

"Not_ that_, man… they talk!" He watched as realization began to dawn over Kelso's face. His eyes widened in horror, and his jaw dropped as his body drained of color.

"…So?" Hyde thought he had it figured out. Either he was really that stupid, or he was just in denial; Hyde couldn't tell.

"To each other." He grumbled in monotone.

Lightbulb.

"Oh my god! Girls! Wait up!"

Hyde watched in disbelief as the lanky teen zipped passed him to catch up to Jackie and Laurie. Although he wanted to laugh, he couldn't bring himself to do it. He was still shocked by how long it took Kelso to realize the simplest things. Finally, Hyde shook his head slowly and sighed as he pulled out a cigarette.

"What a maroon."

"Hyde, man, Hyde!" He startled as he felt a strong grip on his shoulder. He was about ready to punch the guy who touched him, yet recoiled his balled fist when seeing it was Eric; when did he get that strong?

"...Yeah?" He asked carefully, raising his eyebrows as he saw the heavy dilation of his de-facto brother's eyes. Was he already high?

"You gotta try this stuff... some guy handed it to us... oh my God it's like heaven on Earth!" He cried, beginning to twirl in circles with his arms outstretched. Donna ran up to him, giggling, and wrapping her arms around him in a hug.

"Oh my God, Eric, you're gonna kill someone!" She exclaimed, falling in another fit of giggles. He glanced behind them and watched as Fez tried making snow angels in the mud.

"...was it pot?" He asked slowly, a sick feeling crawling in his stomach. This wasn't quite like anything he had seen, except what Edna used to take.

"Yeah, man. But it's like... like... not." Hyde facepalmed and dragged them both over to Fez, who had discarded the burning joint on the ground.

"Everything is so pretty!" Fez shrieked, arms falling to his sides as he stared in a daze at the sky. "Lucy in the sky with diamonds..." Fez sang under his breath. Hyde groaned.

"This is laced with acid." He told himself, then stared with worry at Eric and Donna. They seemed alright, in fact they seemed a thousand times happier. Staring at the joint, Hyde dropped his cigarette.

"Ahh, what the hell?" He asked himself, taking a long draw from the roll. If it did that to them, it would do wonders to him.

_'One less thing to worry about,'_ he thought with a small smile as he held the smoke in his lungs until his eyes and throat burned.

* * *

Hyde didn't remember much after that. He didn't remember walking down a path, but he did remember seeing one. He didn't remember how much he had smoked or drank, but he felt good so it was all right. He didn't remember when he separated himself from his friends, or where he had gone to. He didn't remember when he found the tiny lilac colored tank top, but it probably belonged to that chick who lost her shirt. He didn't remember why he remembered the color lilac, but he liked it, nonetheless.

He didn't know where he was or how far he had gone; he could still hear music so that told him he wasn't too far from the festival. But he didn't mind being alone; it was nice after two days of constantly being around people.

Hyde sat in complete silence, save a couple of crickets chirping, and the low rumble of music from the distant amplifiers. His mind was racing but at the same time he wasn't thinking anything at all and it was actually kind of nice. He swirled the beer around in the can he was holding and sighed heavily, staring up at the sky.

The moon was a crescent, and he couldn't see the stars. Not that he paid much attention to them anyway. The lights from Vanstock were beginning to shut off, ending day one of the concert. Hyde wasn't sure if he could handle two more days of this; it was an awesome experience, but there was just too much crap going on with his friends.

He hadn't heard the footsteps on the fallen leaves as someone approached him. His mind was too fuzzy to really pay attention to anything.

"Hey, how's it going?"

Hyde glanced up and nodded at Donna, who slowly walked up to him, arms crossed over her stomach. She sat down beside him on the log and he pondered just how far away he really was from everyone else. If Donna had known... he glanced around, yet saw no one.

"Well, uh, found the top, just lost the girl," He replied, shrugging. Donna gave a huff of laughter as she scooted close to him.

"Bummer," She replied in a passive tone, he smiled and nodded.

"Yeah. What are you doing up?" He asked. Since when did he know what time it was? He glanced down at his watch... 2:23 in the morning. This time as he glanced around there were no lights or music; was that all in his head?

"Punishing Eric. Knew all about Kelso and Laurie. Didn't even tell me." Hyde shook his head slowly, a smile creeping onto his lips.

"What a bastard." He teasingly sided with her with a tone of sarcasm in his voice. Donna shoved him lightly.

"Oh, like you didn't know," the red head retorted, Hyde sighed heavily and turned to face her.

"Of course I knew. Everybody knew. You're the only one that didn't know." He spoke in a voice that sounded much too chipper to his liking; either way it was supposed to make her laugh.

"Shut up Hyde, I'm mad at him," As she chuckled, he grinned; at least he had done something right.

"Look, you don't rat on your friends. That's just the way it is. Now I'm laying traps left and right trying to get Kelso caught. But I'm not gonna tell on him, cause then I'd be a rat. And that's what Forman would've been if he had told you."

"He still shoulda told me." She grumbled.

"Give him a break, Donna. I mean, the guy kisses your ass. He does everything for you and you're not even sleeping with him." He exclaimed.

"Yeah, I guess that's true..." she trailed off, he could tell by her expression she was concentrating on his words. So he decided to continue.

"You're lucky he even talks to you! In fact, I would have dumped you months ago! But you know, I'm old fashioned, so…" She chortled then, and he lifted the can of beer to his lips to take a gulp.

_"_Okay, Hyde, thanks for the heart to heart." He began to nod, yet stopped himself as he stood up.

"Ah, get bent. Alright, well, I'm off to find the jugs that fit this top. Like Cinderella. Excuse me, miss?" He began to follow a familiar looking blonde, yet Donna grabbed his arm. Tilting his head curiously, she motioned for him to sit back down. "But-"

"Hyde, I wasn't exactly finished talking, you know." He sighed; he had been afraid of that. Which is why he used bottle blonde with a swing to her hips as his excuse to get the hell away.

"Well, I was." She rolled her eyes.

"Why are you laying traps against Kelso? Shouldn't you be praising him for his ballsy moves to be with two girls?" Hyde opened and closed his mouth, yet no words came out. "Hyde...?"

"Do you think I want one of my best friends to bark up the Earth Mother Whore's tree?" He finally replied, with a question. Donna snorted.

"Is it just about Kelso?" She asked, Hyde furrowed his eyebrows and took another drink from the can. He remained silent, eyes fixated on the stars as she waited for an answer. "Steven!"

"I don't know." He finally whispered, his index and middle fingers drumming alongside the can of beer. Donna was silent, waiting for him to continue; yet that was all he had to say.

"If I didn't know you, I'd say you like Jackie," Donna announced, Hyde scoffed and rolled his eyes. "But I do know you, more than you'd like me to. So I think that even though you hate her, you still want to look out for her... because that's what you do."

"Whatever."

Donna sighed heavily and rested her head on his shoulder. He felt her grab his hand and he closed his eyes; he didn't realize how much he missed their sibling-like relationship. He did miss how it had been before he discovered that he liked her, but didn't like her, but did like her.

"It's a good thing, Hyde." He felt a tightness in his throat so he remained silent. She squeezed his hand before letting go. "How was it at Molly's?" Hyde let out a barking laugh, which shocked them both.

"They started a fire because they wanted to live with me."

"What?!" Donna cried in horror, her jaw agape. "You're serious?" He nodded and she rested her head in her hands. "Are they okay?"

"They're fine... I decided I need to let them just deal with their shit on there own. So I'm out."

"You're just abandoning them?"

"They're not my family... and there's a bunch of crap going on... and some things happened and it's just best if I get the hell out of dodge."

Donna's face wore a heavy amount of concern as she watched Hyde; he could easily see that. He knew that she could tell there was much more to the story than he was saying.

"Something that happened with you?" She asked tentatively, walking on eggshells.

"Donna..."

"Hyde. Talk to me." He sighed heavily and buried his head in his hands. He should have walked away, she didn't need to know. It wasn't important and it didn't matter.

But the acid-laced pot had made him lose his guard; he knew she saw his vulnerability and could sense there was something bothering him. And the lack of sobriety made him more talkative; which was one of the reasons he chose to smoke and drink more by himself than with his friends.

Yet this time was different, and he was right here with Donna, and he couldn't shut up to save his life.

"Molly tried having sex with me."

"What the fuck?!" Donna shouted, jumping up from the log. "When?!"

"After Sean died, she was drunk but it's-"

"If you say "whatever" I swear to God I will hit you. 'Cause it's not, that's a form of rape and she shouldn't have even... God!" Donna pulled at her hair in frustration as she began to pace. Hyde just stared at her with a blank expression.

It wasn't like it had never happened before. That's why Donna was so upset, and that's why he didn't care. But he couldn't let this get to her; he knew it would fester like an open wound until she'd burst and it would make the whole weekend miserable for everyone and it would be his fault. So he stood up next to her and nudged her.

"Listen, let's not talk about this now. It's late, I'm drunk, you're upset, and Forman is probably trying to make a makeshift you from his sleeping bag so..." Donna chuckled quietly and rolled her eyes; Hyde saw they were glittering with tears.

"Yeah... you're right." She murmured, reaching down and squeezing his hand. He smiled reassuringly at her and squeezed back.

"Of course I am, why are you so shocked?"

This time Donna didn't hesitate to frog him.

* * *

Countless minutes or possibly hours later, Hyde turned onto his side to glance over to where Donna and Eric were laying. Everyone was sound asleep except him and his only company was the lonesome chirp of a single cricket somewhere in the grass.

Hyde sighed heavily and tucked his arms under his head. His gaze moved from the occupied sleeping bag to the van, where the girlish giggles had slowly faded away into silence. Everyone was alright. He could sleep.

Turning on his back once again, Hyde grimaced and wriggled away from a rock pressing against his shoulder blade. Closing his eyes, he yawned and prepared to catch a couple hours of sleep before the second day of Vanstock.

He didn't know how long it was or if he had actually been close to a sleep state of mind, but the feeling of someone pulling at his sleeping bag caused his eyes to shoot open. Spinning around, he balled his fist and was prepared to hit whoever it was.

"Kelso?" He whisper-cried, frogging the tall boy's legs. "What the hell man?"

"I'm cold... I need sleep... no one will share."

"No way in hell." Hyde growled, tugging his sleeping bag back and zipped it.

"But Hyde... c'mon!"

"You smell like a dog's ass!" Kelso laughed quietly.

"Well that's 'cause I was wrestling with a couple of dogs and..."

"I don't care, go away!"

"We can just share, or take turns, or-"

Hyde hit his head on the ground and grumbled an incoherent two-worded retort. Biting his tongue to refrain from yelling and waking everyone, Hyde unzipped the sleeping bag and stood up, then chucked it at Kelso.

"There, you big baby." He grumbled darkly, placing his sunglasses back over his eyes even though the sun wasn't rising yet.

Kelso beamed as he clutched the sleeping bag tightly in his grasp.

"Thanks, man!" He exclaimed, causing a few sleeping people to yell at him to shut up; two of which were Eric and Donna. Hyde just shook his head and silently walked in the other direction; before he knew it he had a cigarette between his lips and was pocketing his lighter as he took a drag.

Hyde grimaced as he leaned against the log he had found earlier and sighed.

"I'm in hell," he grumbled dismally and closed his eyes beneath the sunglasses.

* * *

_**Author's Note: **_

_**I'm going to be leaving this one short, and I wanted to put this at the end because I wanted you to be able to read the chapter right away. I want to apologize for how long it has taken me to update... I was on hiatus for a very, very long time and almost abandoned this story. But I realized that I made a promise to myself and to you that I wouldn't do that. I still have many ideas and will be working on my other stories, but I'm very busy with real life stuff, too.**_

_**I started my senior year of high school three weeks ago and have a job on top of that. I am focusing my efforts on my academics so I can get a scholarship to the school I want to attend as well as studying abroad my sophomore year of college. I plan on going to Ireland, by the way. Not that you cared to know. I just have a lot of priorities right now, and honestly I haven't written much since March. I just had a bunch of crap thrown at me and I lost the will to write, and now I think I got it back.**_

_**However, I did have three versions of this chapter/episode written out, and the first two were rather horrid so I ended up typing this one in three days (oh look, I have an essay unfinished and waiting to be typed on my desktop...) but I feel I owe you this and so much more. **_

_**Now, I probably won't be updated this story for awhile. BUT the reason for that is because I want to finish "Face" by Halloween. So I'll be writing the remaining chapters out and then probably going to do a mass uploading in September or October. That's how a lot of things will go from here on out; lots of mass uploads. I'm hoping two chapters every month, three if I'm lucky (for this story) but I plan to finish "Face" all in one go. **_

_**I hope you accept my apology and continue to read this story, I am truly sorry that it took so long for me to update. **_

_**And finally...**_

_**I want to thank MistyMountainHop, nannygirl, and twiniitowers for being so supportive, friendly, and just awesome. You three are great and I really miss talking to you guys. I can't access the board at school anymore which is why I haven't been on (as well as having issues with my computer) but I miss you guys tons, and I thank you, so much for just being awesome. :)**_

_**Alright, well I should get my homework done... ugh. **_

_**Hope you enjoyed this chapter!**_


	59. Fix Me

_It's taken a lifetime to lose my way. A lifetime of yesterdays all the wasted time on my hands turns to sand and fades in the wind. Crossing lines, small crimes, taking back what is mine. I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction; I'm right where I should be. Don't try and fix me. So lost for so long to find to my way; I failed to follow, I'm out of place. Crossing lines, small crimes, taking back what is mine. I'm fine in the fire, I feed on the friction; I'm right where I should be. Don't try and fix me…  
_

Hyde hadn't planned this and could not be blamed for the outcome. It wasn't his fault he had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't his fault Kat Peterson was going through a rebellious rebound phase because her jock boyfriend broke up with her. It wasn't his fault she was hot.

But he could blame himself for the frequency of their meetings. But every time he came around she was there, just as eager as him. Hyde didn't think it would exactly carry on as long as it had either or that their physical entertainment would lead to talking and a general interest in each other. But it was secret. To the rest of Point Place he was still a dirt bag and she was the head cheerleader who stayed far away from him.

However, he did catch her staring at him at lunch a few times. That was reassuring.

And the fact that after her cheer practices and his detentions they always ended up in her bedroom. That was more reassuring than the former.

It shocked him to find out she was nice. Under the layer of bitchy cheerleader she was smart and kind of goofy and she actually grew to have a mild interest in him. They talked. They slept together. She cuddled him and he'd hold her back. Frankly it was terrifying for him but he knew her time in the slums was dwindling and soon she'd be back with her boyfriend.

But today was different. Today she met him at his locker, cheerleading uniform tucked in her duffel bag. Hyde quirked an eyebrow and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

"Hey, Steven." She murmured as a small smile crept over her lips. He smirked back.

"Hey yourself." Kat bit her lip and took his hand.

"I was wondering…" she trailed off. Hyde felt a bad feeling begin to crawl through his blood. "If we could go to your place tonight? My parents are home."

Ahh, the dreaded parents. If they saw her with him, of all people, she'd probably be sent to an all-girls school across on the east coast.

Hyde furrowed his eyebrows. He knew everyone was hanging out in Forman's basement tonight, as they did every night. But he also knew they were going to The Hub after school. They were probably still there now; they could probably get at least a quickie in before they arrived.

"Whatever," he shrugged as she began to walk toward the exit doors; she still held his hand. She wouldn't do that if she knew her friends were still there.

"Cool." He scoffed and turned to look at her. His zen was starting to rub off on her.

After a quick drive through backstreets to avoid any familiar faces catching sight of the two together, Kat pulled her car into an empty spot a block away from the Forman's house, on Hyde's suggestion. She tilted her head at him in confusion.

"You don't live around here, do you?"

"Does it matter?" He asked in response. She rolled her eyes and shut off the ignition.

"No, but this is Foreskin's neighborhood. I dropped Jackie off at Donna's a couple of times. I thought you were more east?" East as in, the closest to the ghetto you'll get in Point Place. Hyde snorted.

"I did, now I don't. So come on." He replied gruffly, closing the door to her Plymouth and pulling out a cigarette. Kat shoved him in annoyance and stole the cigarette from his lips as they walked down the quiet street. He lit the end of the cigarette for her and she took a deep breath.

As they approached the Forman's house, Kat narrowed her eyes. Flicking the ashes off of the cigarette butt, she stopped walking.

"I'm not going in there," she announced. Hyde turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Really." He deadpanned as he took off his sunglasses. Kat shook her head and unpinned her hair from the tight bun.

"It's the Forman's basement, I don't want to be around Eric's nerdy replicas and shit. I thought we were going to your house." Hyde sighed heavily and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. Why did girls have to question? Why couldn't they just leave things be?

"Kat… this is my house." This was about to get awkward, Hyde could tell as he looked at her face. Kat was trying to piece everything together, she may have been smarter than the other cheerleaders, but common sense sometimes took a bit longer for her to process.

"But… your parents live here?"

Hyde let out a barking laugh. Parents? How could anyone not know his dad had abandoned him and his mother- although it probably was the best thing to happen to them- eight years ago? But then something clicked in Hyde's mind. No one else except his friends probably did know. To everyone else, he was the kid of two alcoholic nutjobs who just haven't shown their faces due to embarrassment. After all, his friends only knew because of the Formans.

"No. It's a long story. The Formans took me in." Kat nodded slowly.

"So you're kinda like their foster kid?"

"I guess," Hyde mumbled as he led her down the basement stairs. As he pulled out his house keys to unlock the door, Kat pinned him against the wall.

"That is so hot." She whispered.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Hyde tried to figure out how his bad life was somehow "hot" to a chick. But he didn't give it much thought before her lips were on his and her legs were wrapped around his waist. The way she was acting though, hungrier, made him wonder what he said to make her this way, but at the same time he didn't really care as long as he got some hot action. And if they didn't get into his room soon and were busted by his friends, wouldn't happen.

Thankfully he had enough instinct to fumble with the keys and unlock the door without so much as a glance behind him. He held Kat tightly to him as their lips and tongues fought for dominance; a battle they both carried out until the end every damn time.

"Steven…" she whispered in his ear as they lay on his cot, "I want you." Her eyes seemed to bore into his and he held his breath.

He had never heard that from anyone before.

For a moment his eyes held vulnerability, and he knew she knew. But he blinked and in an instant, it was gone. He smirked and pressed his lips to hers expertly in small, feverish kisses that would only make her want more.

"Cool," he whispered back.

And she was gone in a frenzy of clashing tongues and finger nails and clothes labored breath. Their clothes littered his clean floor and as he felt her against him, and looked into her eyes, her desperation for closeness- possibly due to her recent breakup- was suddenly apparent to him. And then Hyde was gone, too.

When his self-awareness and guard returned, he was laying with the hottest chick in school resting on his chest. And this was the closest to "right" he had ever felt, and that's what scared the crap out of him.

"If the girls at school knew you could do that you'd be the most popular boy, I hope you know that."

"What, and they don't already think that about my good looks at charm?" Hyde asked sarcastically.

"Good looks, maybe. Charm…? Eh. You need some improvement. You do have the whole mystery thing down to a T, though. So you got that going for you." She responded as her fingers danced along his chest nonchalantly. When he realized she was serious, he chuckled.

"Says the most popular girl in school." Kat's eyes flickered momentarily, and she sat up slightly.

"You do realize the only reason I haven't said anything isn't my reputation, right?" Kat murmured, now caressing his arm. "It's because of yours. How would you like it if suddenly the entire school population wanted to be your friend, and everyone tried to flock… here… and take you away from the best friends you have. I hear how you talk about Eric, Kelso, and the foreign exchange kid. And Donna, and even Jackie. You care about all of them. Why would I take all of that away from you so you can be like me?"

"So you're saying you're looking out for my well-being, is that it?" He asked, unsure if it was gratitude he felt or anger.

"Yeah, so you're welcome," Kat barked, kissing his sensitive neck.

Hyde remained silent and just held her. That's how it always worked. She'd say something like that and he had no clue what to say. So he would just hold her. Kat didn't seem to mind though. The silence was nice, for both of them.

That was, until they became

Hyde hadn't planned this and could not be blamed for the outcome. It wasn't his fault he had been at the wrong place at the wrong time. It wasn't his fault Kat Peterson was going through a rebellious rebound phase because her jock boyfriend broke up with her. It wasn't his fault she was hot.

But he could blame himself for the frequency of their meetings. But every time he came around she was there, just as eager as him. Hyde didn't think it would exactly carry on as long as it had either or that their physical entertainment would lead to talking and a general interest in each other. But it was secret. To the rest of Point Place he was still a dirt bag and she was the head cheerleader who stayed far away from him.

However, he did catch her staring at him at lunch a few times. That was reassuring.

And the fact that after her cheer practices and his detentions they always ended up in her bedroom. That was more reassuring than the former.

It shocked him to find out she was nice. Under the layer of bitchy cheerleader she was smart and kind of goofy and she actually grew to have a mild interest in him. They talked. They slept together. She cuddled him and he'd hold her back. Frankly it was terrifying for him but he knew her time in the slums was dwindling and soon she'd be back with her boyfriend.

But today was different. Today she met him at his locker, cheerleading uniform tucked in her duffel bag. Hyde quirked an eyebrow and slung his backpack over his shoulder.

"Hey, Steven." She murmured as a small smile crept over her lips. He smirked back.

"Hey yourself." Kat bit her lip and took his hand.

"I was wondering…" she trailed off. Hyde felt a bad feeling begin to crawl through his blood. "If we could go to your place tonight? My parents are home."

Ahh, the dreaded parents. If they saw her with him, of all people, she'd probably be sent to an all-girls school across on the east coast.

Hyde furrowed his eyebrows. He knew everyone was hanging out in Forman's basement tonight, as they did every night. But he also knew they were going to The Hub after school. They were probably still there now; they could probably get at least a quickie in before they arrived.

"Whatever," he shrugged as she began to walk toward the exit doors; she still held his hand. She wouldn't do that if she knew her friends were still there.

"Cool." He scoffed and turned to look at her. His zen was starting to rub off on her.

After a quick drive through backstreets to avoid any familiar faces catching sight of the two together, Kat pulled her car into an empty spot a block away from the Forman's house, on Hyde's suggestion. She tilted her head at him in confusion.

"You don't live around here, do you?"

"Does it matter?" He asked in response. She rolled her eyes and shut off the ignition.

"No, but this is Foreskin's neighborhood. I dropped Jackie off at Donna's a couple of times. I thought you were more east?" East as in, the closest to the ghetto you'll get in Point Place. Hyde snorted.

"I did, now I don't. So come on." He replied gruffly, closing the door to her Plymouth and pulling out a cigarette. Kat shoved him in annoyance and stole the cigarette from his lips as they walked down the quiet street. He lit the end of the cigarette for her and she took a deep breath.

As they approached the Forman's house, Kat narrowed her eyes. Flicking the ashes off of the cigarette butt, she stopped walking.

"I'm not going in there," she announced. Hyde turned to her and raised an eyebrow.

"Really." He deadpanned as he took off his sunglasses. Kat shook her head and unpinned her hair from the tight bun.

"It's the Forman's basement, I don't want to be around Eric's nerdy replicas and shit. I thought we were going to your house." Hyde sighed heavily and scrubbed his fingers through his hair. Why did girls have to question? Why couldn't they just leave things be?

"Kat… this is my house." This was about to get awkward, Hyde could tell as he looked at her face. Kat was trying to piece everything together, she may have been smarter than the other cheerleaders, but common sense sometimes took a bit longer for her to process.

"But… your parents live here?"

Hyde let out a barking laugh. Parents? How could anyone not know his dad had abandoned him and his mother- although it probably was the best thing to happen to them- eight years ago? But then something clicked in Hyde's mind. No one else except his friends probably did know. To everyone else, he was the kid of two alcoholic nutjobs who just haven't shown their faces due to embarrassment. After all, his friends only knew because of the Formans.

"No. It's a long story. The Formans took me in." Kat nodded slowly.

"So you're kinda like their foster kid?"

"I guess," Hyde mumbled as he led her down the basement stairs. As he pulled out his house keys to unlock the door, Kat pinned him against the wall.

"That is so hot." She whispered.

Furrowing his eyebrows, Hyde tried to figure out how his bad life was somehow "hot" to a chick. But he didn't give it much thought before her lips were on his and her legs were wrapped around his waist. The way she was acting though, hungrier, made him wonder what he said to make her this way, but at the same time he didn't really care as long as he got some hot action. And if they didn't get into his room soon and were busted by his friends, wouldn't happen.

Thankfully he had enough instinct to fumble with the keys and unlock the door without so much as a glance behind him. He held Kat tightly to him as their lips and tongues fought for dominance; a battle they both carried out until the end every damn time.

"Steven…" she whispered in his ear as they lay on his cot, "I want you." Her eyes seemed to bore into his and he held his breath.

He had never heard that from anyone before.

For a moment his eyes held vulnerability, and he knew she knew. But he blinked and in an instant, it was gone. He smirked and pressed his lips to hers expertly in small, feverish kisses that would only make her want more.

"Cool," Hyde whispered back.

And she was gone in a frenzy of clashing tongues and finger nails and clothes and labored breath. Their clothes littered his clean floor and as he felt her against him, and looked into her eyes, her desperation for closeness- possibly due to her recent breakup- was suddenly apparent to him. And then Hyde was gone, too.

When his self-awareness and guard returned, he was laying with the hottest chick in school resting on his chest. And this was the closest to "right" he had ever felt, and that's what scared the crap out of him.

"If the girls at school knew you could do that you'd be the most popular boy, I hope you know that."

"What, and they don't already think that about my good looks at charm?" Hyde asked sarcastically.

"Good looks, maybe. Charm…? Eh. You need some improvement. You do have the whole mystery thing down to a T, though. So you got that going for you." She responded as her fingers danced along his chest nonchalantly. When he realized she was serious, he chuckled.

"Says the most popular girl in school." Kat's eyes flickered momentarily, and she sat up slightly.

"You do realize the only reason I haven't said anything isn't my reputation, right?" Kat murmured, now caressing his arm. "It's because of yours. How would you like it if suddenly the entire school population wanted to be your friend, and everyone tried to flock… here… and take you away from the best friends you have. I hear how you talk about Eric, Kelso, and the foreign exchange kid. And Donna, and even Jackie. You care about all of them. Why would I take all of that away from you so you can be like me?"

"So you're saying you're looking out for my well-being, is that it?" He asked, unsure if it was gratitude he felt or anger.

"Yeah, so you're welcome," Kat barked, kissing his sensitive neck.

Hyde remained silent and just held her. That's how it always worked. She'd say something like that and he had no clue what to say. So he would just hold her. Kat didn't seem to mind though. The silence was nice, for both of them.

That was, until they became aware of how loud the friends he "really cared about" were. And then he wondered how long they had been there. Of course, he and Kat had both mastered the "be quiet" technique, but the thought of their close proximity to his friends made him feel kind of squeamish.

"Can you go tell them to shut up? They're ruining the mood." Hyde chuckled and sat up from the wrinkled and tousled blankets. He quickly pulled on his boxers and jeans, and hurried to button his shirt, but didn't care if the buttons matched or not. He'd probably end up taking them all off again, anyway.

"Hey, hey, hey! That's just funny, man…" Kelso nearly shouted as Hyde exited his room. He cleared his throat and walked out into the main room of the basement. So they were watching "What's Happening?" Go figure.

"Hey… hey can you guys keep it down a bit, please?" He asked. All eyes turned to him; okay, he sounded a bit more open than usual. That needed to change. Hyde cleared his throat again. Donna looked him over and stared at him incredulously.

"Hyde, there's lipstick on your chin." She told him, and tilted her head slightly. Eric looked at him, intrigued and curious as well.

"Hyde, why are you putting lipstick on your chin? It's for your lips?" Fez asked him, sticking out his index finger and reaching up to Hyde's chin to wipe it off. Hyde quickly moved away from Fez and sighed.

"Hey, maybe he's got a girl back there. So, Hyde, who's the lucky lady?"

"I never kiss and tell." Hyde grumbled, and for kicks and for shock factor, quickly added, "it's Kat Peterson." They all laughed.

"Yeah right, you're in your bedroom with the most popular girl in school." Kelso, Fez, and Eric laughed. Hyde just stared straight ahead and remained silent.

"Yeah, what happened to Farrah Fawcett? Did her car break down?" Fez quipped, Hyde rolled his eyes and began to head back to his room.

"Look, just keep it down, alright? You're killing the mood."

Hyde walked into his room once more and sat down on his cot. Kat was sitting up with a sheet wrapped around her while she smoked a cigarette. He wrapped an arm around her and she laid her head on his shoulder.

"So those are the friends you really care about, huh?" She asked dryly before handing him the cigarette. He took a drag and shrugged.

"Yup," Hyde replied, "and apparently I have lipstick on my chin."

"It looks cute on you, but aim for the lips, hon. It's more appealing." Kat told him with feigned sincerity. She began to laugh, and snorted, which caused her to fall into a fit of giggles. Hyde smiled and laid down with her as she tried to stop laughing; this was the Kat she was afraid to show everyone else. This was his Kat. And something about that made him smile.

As she laid down with him, she took off his shirt; he was more than aware she liked bare skin contact when she cuddled. Her fingers traced up his arms, over his shoulders and collarbone, across his chest, and down his abdomen. His eyes closed against the comforting feeling and he even found himself beginning to drift to sleep.

"You have a lot of scars," Kat murmured, he made a sound of agreement and she chuckled.

"You talk a lot," he replied, eyes still closed.

"Well I like talking, do you like scars?" She teased, he shrugged.

"They're cool." Kat sighed and Hyde opened his eyes enough to see her roll her eyes although she appeared amused.

"Listen, I should probably head out. My parents are probably wondering where I am. Don't walk me out, I'll just say I was working on my project with Tina Pinciotti if anyone sees me, okay?"

"Cool." Hyde agreed and didn't pull his hand away when she took his and walked out of his room.

He was hoping all of his friends would be gone from the basement when she left but he knew that would be wishful thinking. Like Red said, they never really leave. As they emerged from his room, Eric and Donna were watching TV and arguing quietly to themselves.

"So that was… fun." Kat said nonchalantly as she walked to the door; she winked at him and averted her eyes to the couch. Hyde chuckled.

"Nah, Disneyland is fun, that was nasty." He responded before his lips met with hers for a brief kiss and she squeezed his hand before leaving. As the door shut, he turned around with a smug smirk.

"Oh my God, Hyde! Kat Peterson, nice." Donna applauded, voice full of shock. Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"Yup. She's slummin' it and I'm lovin' it," he replied, then took a seat on his normal chair. Eric stared at him in shock; he still hadn't said anything. Hyde ignored his look and grabbed a magazine from the table. Even after he flipped through a few pages, he felt like he was being watched. Pulling the magazine down, he found Eric still staring at him.

"What, Forman?" He barked, feeling slightly uncomfortable.

"How… you… Kat… what?!"

"Hey if she's willing to give to me I sure as hell am not saying no." Hyde grumbled, turning his attention back to the magazine.

"But… well… maybe Hyde can go with us after all? If Jackie invites Kat?" Eric pressed Donna, who rolled his eyes.

"Don't involve me in anything."

"Jackie's having a party and-"

"No." Hyde refused, returning to his forgotten article. God, why did his friends have to piss him off when he was in a good mood? He must have some serious karma.

"You're still going Eric,"

"But-"

"Eric!" Red called from upstairs. The seventeen year old groaned in dismay and turned to Donna as he stood up.

"We will be continuing this conversation," he announced, then ran up the stairs.

Hyde sighed in relief; finally, silence. Silence was all he wanted these days. He may have seemed like an ass to his friends but he usually told them all to shut up. And if they annoyed him enough he would just go sit in his room. People were just annoying him too often and too much and if he cared enough it would probably worry him. But he didn't care. The only person who didn't piss him off was Kat. And Donna.

"Hyde?" Donna asked, breaking the silence.

'Damn,' he thought as he shut the magazine. He knew what she wanted and he knew this was unavoidable now. He had been avoiding being alone with her for four weeks now. And now here they were. There was no escape.

"How are you?"

"I'm fine, how're you?" He asked, causing Donna to roll her eyes.

"No, Hyde, I'm serious. I mean… we never finished talking about… and I just… I want to know you're okay." She tried to press him, but she knew he was more stubborn than that.

"Donna, I'm fine. I don't need to talk."

"Did you have sex with Molly?" She asked abruptly, causing him to choke on the air in his lungs. Regaining composure, he stared at her.

"No, Donna."

"I mean, ever. Did she ever make you?" Hyde sighed heavily and gripped his left wrist. Lowering his head he stared at the floor and tried to ignore the question. "Hyde?"

"I think you know the answer, man."

"Then why… why did you feel the need to go back and help her? Why would you go back to do all that you've done for her and her family when she was one of the people who hurt you so bad?" Hyde met her eyes and stood up; he was growing antsy.

"Donna, have you ever thought and came to the realization that maybe I am really fucked up?" He asked, slightly sarcastically.

"You're not."

"Then what am I, man? 'Not fucked up, you've just been through shit that you couldn't control and it still messes with you' but that's not fucked up." Hyde grumbled, pacing back and forth. Donna watched him and tried to get him to sit but he couldn't.

"In your mind everything is your fault. But it's not, you didn't want her to do that, you didn't cause her husband to be such an asshole, you didn't kill Sean, and you didn't give her a bottle. Did you?"

"…no."

"Then stop blaming yourself, Hyde. People do stupid things, people get hurt, and they die. But you didn't cause any of that. Ever. So don't tell yourself you did, okay?" Hyde stared at the floor. Suddenly he felt like he was eight years old again. "Don't blame yourself for his death."

"Whatever."

"Don't 'whatever' me, Hyde!"

"Donna what do you want me to say? Because all this is doing is pissing me off. Okay, I'm uncomfortable. I've felt uncomfortable. And I really, really don't want to talk about this now." Donna sighed and stood next to him.

"Okay," she agreed, "just as long as you know you're my best friend and you can talk to me whenever, okay?"

"Got it, kid." Hyde said, she smiled sadly and the two stood in silence.

"So… how about I try to make a good night for you?"

"I'm good."

"With sitting in your room? That's all you've done since Van Stock-"

"I've been working-"

"That too! So come on, I'll tell Kelso to invite a few people to Jackie's house, Kat Peterson included, if you secretly go with me." Donna propositioned and held out her hand. Hyde considered this. "There will be booze."

"I'm in," he decided and put his hand in hers. Donna squeezed gently, reassuringly, encouragingly. Hyde smiled at her, a genuine smile, and squeezed back.

* * *

Later that night, Hyde found himself waiting on Jackie's front porch with Fez. They had arrived to the party just before everyone else; in fact, they were waiting for them to go in first.

"I can't believe you actually came." Fez said as Hyde knocked on the door. Hyde turned to Fez.

"I can't believe you actually tried to bathe in cologne." He countered as he violently knocked the door. Moments later, it opened and they were face to face with Jackie. She stared at them in horror and before she could slam the door both teens slipped in the doorway.

"Fez? Hyde? MICHAEL!" Jackie screamed in horror.

"Oh good, it's Fez, Hyde, and Michael…" Kelso trailed off as Hyde looked around.

"Hey fellas, what's to eat?" Hyde asked; this was a mansion. There had to be awesome food. As Fez took a toothpick with a melon on it, Hyde reconsidered this thought.

"Are these melon balls for everyone?" Jackie took the toothpick from him and whipped around to face Kelso.

"Why are they here?" She hissed through gritted teeth. Kelso stared at her, taken aback.

"I invited them because you're always discussing manners and I wanted to be mannerly." He answered as Fez nodded energetically in agreement.

"He's mannerly," Hyde echoed sarcastically, catching eyes with Jackie. She glared at him momentarily before spinning around in a fury. Hyde didn't see what was wrong until he realized the entire house was full of people from school and there was someone hanging on the chandelier. Then again, she was supposed to host an awesome party and right now this would probably be counted as Wisconsin's high school party of the century.

After he was handed a beer and other, numerous types of alcohol time went by a lot faster. His mood was lifted with each empty can and glass he had. Everything seemed great and nothing was on his mind and he wasn't even annoyed with the presence of some of the football team.

Until Kat Peterson walked in with her friends. Hyde turned to Donna and made a motion toward the blonde. Donna made a face and shrugged her shoulders.

"She won't even talk to me when they're around, man!" Hyde whispered to her.

"Just try…" Donna trailed off and handed him two beers. Mustering up courage from the alcohol, he opened both cans and took a large gulp from the one in his left hand. As he walked up to Kat, he held out the can to her.

"Hey Kat, want a beer?" he asked, she locked eyes with him and scoffed.

"No… thanks," she replied snootily and brushed his shoulder as she walked away with her friends, all of them laughing and glancing behind as they hurried away. Hyde rolled his eyes and stood there with a bad feeling in his stomach. Fez handed him a crystal glass and took the beer from him.

"She just blew me off man, can you believe that?" He asked, in genuine disbelief. Fez was trying not to laugh as he chugged the beer can.

"Yes, I really do." Fez answered and laughed as Hyde rolled his eyes. Jackie walked up to both of them and stared at their hands.

"Michael, are they drinking out of my parent's crystal?" She asked incredulously. Hyde looked at it, shrugged, and drained the last of the brandy before setting the glass on the table.

"Yeah, Jackie, they were trying to drink straight from the bottle and I said 'No, no, use the crystal, cause it's classy.'"

"Michael I'm going to go upstairs and feel sorry for myself and you, you are gonna fix this." Jackie threatened and folded her arms over her chest.

"Fix it? Jackie, you're having the party of the year here!" Kelso cried and threw his hands up to point out all of the guests. Jackie huffed angrily and stomped on his foot before running out of the room. Hyde felt a twinge of guilt for Jackie, but listened what Donna said; it wasn't his fault.

"Damn, I do not get women!" Kelso cried in frustration as he ran his hands through his hair.

"Yes, and neither does Hyde, right Hyde?" Fez asked and nudged the taller boy's shoulder as he laughed. When catching Hyde's glower, however, Fez wore a somber expression.

"Would you look at her Fez, acting like she's hot stuff? So she's really good looking and everyone likes her, I'm real impressed." Hyde growled with a tone of sarcasm as he watched the party-goers. Fez mocked sincerity as he patted his shoulder.

"Yeah, I know how it is. You think you know somebody, but then it turns out he lied about making out with Kat Peterson." Hyde rolled his eyes and stepped away from Fez. He just wanted to go home, smoke some pot, and sleep. Screw this.

"Hyde! Fez! What is this a funeral? Why aren't you guys getting down?" Eric cried as he approached them. Hyde took one look at him and knew he was drunk; that was the last thing he wanted to deal with.

"Well my friend, Hyde is way too lovesick to get down." Fez replied, causing Hyde to shake his head.

"Love? I don't love her man. I just think we should be having sex and all because she'd enjoy it." He grumbled as he pocketed his hands.

"Hyde, I'm not a doctor, but I play one on TV…" Hyde rolled his eyes as Eric began to fall in a fit of laughter, "but seriously, Hyde this is a party, so loosen up!" He encouraged and emphatically threw his hands up. Hyde watched as he spilled most of his drink into the trash can. "Like me, whoopsie daisy!" Hyde, Kelso, and Fez watched as Eric began to run around the room.

"Man, I wish Jackie would loosen up. She's throwing a great party down here and she's missing it." Fez turned to him in disbelief.

"Kelso you don't get it, huh? This party meant the world to Jackie and you crapped on it."

"Alright, ease up on Kelso, huh?" Hyde barked; this wasn't how he planned to spend his night. He just wanted to go find Donna, tell her thanks for the effort, and split.

"Thanks Hyde." Kelso chirruped.

"Yeah, so you did something horrible, but it's Jackie, so who cares?" Hyde asked, although he himself felt slightly bad for even being here.  
"No wait, what are you saying?" Kelso asked.  
"I'm saying you burned her man, royally. Nice job."  
"But no, man, I didn't want to burn her. I invited all these people to her party so it would be fun, to make it good." The tallest of the three explained in dismay, Fez patted his shoulder as Hyde watched the party continue.  
"She didn't want a good party, she wanted her party." Fez finally told Kelso, who just stared at everyone as realization hit. Hyde chuckled at the dumbstruck expression on his friend's face and couldn't wait for what was about to happen next. Knowing him, it would be something over the top.  
"You know what? You're right Fez. Alright, this party's over. Everybody out!" Kelso shouted, everyone stopped talking and turned to Kelso who was now standing on the couch. Eric staggered up to him and shook his head.  
"No, Kelso, what are you saying man? Think!" He cried woefully as he cradled his beer as if it were his most prized possession.  
"You know what guys? For the first time in my life, I think I am thinking." Kelso announced, then took the cigar out of his mouth and tossed it. Hyde's eyes widened as he stared at the cigar in the trash can. Over the top was an understatement. "You know I'm in danger of ruining the greatest thing that's ever happened to me and I am not going to let that happen." Fez, Eric, and Hyde's jaws dropped as the trash can caught fire.

"Kelso…" Hyde trailed off and pointed behind their boisterous friend. Kelso shook his head.

"Do not interrupt me, this is important! From now on, I'm going to put Jackie's needs first and she's going to be so proud of me!" Hyde sighed and shook his finger so Kelso would follow his direction. The tall boy turned around and screamed when seeing the completely alit trash can.

"Whoa!" Kelso cried, then poured his alcohol on the waste basket to put out the fire. Hyde facepalmed as the flames shot even higher. "WHOA MAN, THIS IS A RAGER!" He tried pouring another on, and caused an even higher flame. "Give me your brandies. WHOA! WHOA! WHOA!" Kelso jumped off the couch and grabbed a pillow cushion while Fez grabbed a pillow. They both began to hit the trash can with all of their strength to put it out. Hyde and Eric backed up and gave each other doubtful looks.

Footsteps were heard on the stairs and Hyde turned to see Jackie in the stairway. Her face was tear-streaked and eyes bloodshot as she stared at her boyfriend trying to put out a fire. Feathers from the pillow and couch were everywhere, and she looked about ready to be sick.

"Uh… Jackie, where's the fire extinguisher?" Kelso asked innocently, Jackie shook her head as sobs wracked her shoulders once more and she ran up the stairs. Hyde rolled his eyes and grabbed the trash can. His fingers burned from the intense heat, but as soon as he ran into the kitchen he tossed it in the sink and turned on the faucet. Sizzling and smoke filled the room and he coughed; this was not the kind of smoke he'd appreciate right now. Once the fire was out and the trash can was full of water, he dumped it and tried to wipe out as many ashes as he could.

Returning to the living room, Hyde realized everyone had pretty much left. He shrugged and grabbed a beer before he began to walk out of the house. A hand grabbed his shoulder and he turned to find Kat smiling at him. He raised an eyebrow.

"Hello, Steven." She greeted and looped her hands with his. This time, he pulled away, much to her shock.

"Oh, I see how this is gonna be. So when you're with your little clique, you're too good for me." He growled, she grimaced, looked at the floor, then back up at him.

"Right, but they're gone now, so….hi." She smiled sweetly and he rolled his eyes.

"You know, for a rich girl, you're kind of skanky. Come on, let me show you the garage." He decided and dragged her down the hallway.

"Steven, wait…" she trailed off as they approached the door. "I have something to tell you." Hyde nodded and took a sip of beer. "Jake and I got back together tonight… I think." Hyde swallowed the beer.

"Uh-huh." She squeezed his hand and he let go.

"So… I think it's best if we don't… I'm sorry. I mean we can still see each other, but we have to be careful and-"

"Oh, no, no, no. Kat, I'm not gonna have your leftovers and I'm not going to be a dog. So you either be with Jake, or we continue this thing. You can't have both." He had seen too many love triangles to even want to consider it. He didn't want to be the "Laurie" of the situation.

"Well… I guess this is it. Until next time?" She asked, Hyde sighed and shrugged.

"Whatever." She hugged him tightly and kissed his cheek.

"Thank you, Steven. You've really help me." Hyde shrugged once more and watched as she walked away.

"Whatever…"

Hyde stared at the wall and felt a mix of emotions that he just didn't care about. He knew it was a very short passing fancy of hers, which is why it didn't hurt him. But if he had to admit to himself, she helped him through the past four weeks more than any of his other friends. Because she didn't pester him, she didn't annoy him, she didn't try to get him to talk. She just let him be. Kat had also been a really good kisser.

"Did you just dump Kat Peterson?" a voice asked, Hyde glanced behind him and groaned. Jackie stood there with wide eyes and a shocked expression.

"No. Where's Donna?"

"Oh my God, you two had a thing didn't you? I knew it!" Jackie gasped in awe, Hyde rolled his eyes and walked out of the hallway with Jackie in tow. "What happened?"

"Nothing, now where is Donna?" Jackie turned her head to the right, where Eric was singing to her. Hyde shook his head. "Nevermind then…" he trailed off.

"Are you okay?" Jackie asked, "I'm sorry I… didn't want you here."

"I didn't really want to come," Hyde answered, she furrowed her eyebrows as if he had called her a name. "And whatever..." he trailed off about the feelings bit. Jackie nodded and stood next to him, watching Eric sing to Donna and Donna try to not yell, laugh, or cry.

"Me too." Hyde gave her a side glance and she met eyes with him. He nodded.

"Cool."


	60. The Boy Who Blocked His Own Shot

_If it makes you less sad, I will die by your hand. Hope you find out what you are; already know what I am. And if it makes you less sad, we'll start talking again; you can tell me how vile I already know that I am. I'll grow old, start acting my age; it'll be a brand new day in a life that you hate. A crown of gold, a heart that's harder than stone and it hurts to hold on, but it's missed when it's gone. Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not, I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget. If it makes you less sad, I'll move out of this state. You can keep to yourself, I'll keep out of your way. And if it makes you less sad, I'll take your pictures all down; every picture you paint, I will paint myself out. It's cold as a tomb, and it's dark in your room when I sneak to your bed to pour salt in your wounds. So call it quits, or get a grip; you say you wanted a solution; you just wanted to be missed. Call me a safe bet, I'm betting I'm not. I'm glad that you can forgive, only hoping as time goes, you can forget…_

Quiet nights turned to quiet mornings. Silence had somehow made life more peaceful and able to get through. No talking, no questions, no prying. Just silence. Sleep was mostly out of the question as it caused thinking. And thinking was what usually caused the talking. If he thought too much, people would start to worry. And worry was the last thing he needed.

Except, unaware to Hyde, the people around him were more worried than they had been in a long time. Because, whether he liked it or not, he was thinking now more than ever.

The past memories made him edgy, distant, quiet. The shock of losing one of his other childhood friends and someone who wore the same battle scars as him had affected him more than he let on, and this they knew. It had been a year since Edna had left as well. Thinking was not his best friend because if he did, then he'd begin to miss things. And missing such a tragic life was disgusting to him. But they understood; he just didn't want them to.

He knew they talked in secret. Kitty to Red, Eric to Donna and vice versa, Fez to Kelso, Kelso to Jackie, and Jackie to him. It made sense but he just didn't care; he worked, he had money, life was generally good. They just didn't like his coping methods because they were non-existent.

Hyde jumped as the basement door to the Forman's house opened. His comforting silence had been broken by soft footsteps on the stairs. He was greeted with a hand wave and a gentle smile as Donna sat down next to him in the driveway.

"You look like shit." She greeted, Hyde grunted a response as he tossed the cigarette butt on the ground and smashed it with his boot.

"It's the new thing," He responded as he looked up at the night sky. A gentle breeze billowed through the night and he shivered slightly. "So the 'rents are doing okay?" He asked, Donna nodded.

"For now, I just can't grasp it. One second they're out on double dates and now they're renewing their vows. What's next, swinger nights?" Hyde chuckled.

"Don't rule it out," he answered truthfully. Donna smiled sadly and nodded before laying down on the cement.

"So what are you doing out here?" She asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and lit another cigarette.

"Smoking," he answered simply; he didn't know what else to say.

"Well it's kind of late, this is when normal people sleep." She pushed; Hyde gave her a blank look.

"What about you?" He countered, lying on the ground beside her. Donna looked at him, took the cigarette from his lips, and put it out on the driveway.

"Hyde… what's going on with you?"

"I just don't want to talk; everyone just needs to stop worrying. I'm fine." Donna rolled her eyes.

"You're always fine. Everything is always "cool" with you. But it's not, and I can tell. Your stupid glasses don't hide everything, you know." Silence echoed through the night. "Have you talked to Kitty yet?"

"No." That was a conversation he was trying to avoid. There would be too many tears and "I love yous" and although he would appreciate the latter, she would try to fix something unable to be mended. He couldn't wash off the guilt and tell anyone everything that was on his mind and be free of it. That's not how it worked; Molly plagued him more than anything now. The resentment he felt about her relapse, the worry for her children… it was too much to handle and he didn't think he could help them. He couldn't try because if he failed he probably wouldn't be able to take it. He couldn't fail someone else. "I need to talk to Molly."

"Bull shit you don't." Donna argued, "after what she did to you?"

"Yeah, man. You don't understand."

"Then help me to understand… God I sound like Eric…" she trailed off.

Now was his chance to spill his guts. He could tell her every fucked up thought in his mind and see how she would handle such situation. But he wouldn't do that to her; it was too complicated for him to even say.

"When I think of Molly, all I see now is Edna. And when I see Max and James I see Chris and me. And when I see Abby, I see what could have been and will never be. I see innocence. They weren't put through the same stuff Sean was put through. But they're about to be, and I can't let that happen. Sean didn't deserve it and they don't either. And because she relapsed, they are confused. I want to help them, maybe not her, but them. They deserve someone to look out for them. Because Sean and I… we didn't. It was too late. But not for Max and Abby and James. Not even for Molly." Hyde paused, waiting for that to sink in for Donna. "And I think about Sean, and I think about myself. I could have ended up the same, and if someone had been there for him, if I had paid more attention then maybe he'd be like me now too. But I fucked up and he's dead. And if I fuck things up with them, then those kids could end up the same way. And years down the road Molly will be this bitter old woman insane from the loss of her children and the fact that she was the reason they're dead. I can't let that happen, to any of them."

"Remember what I said about you blaming yourself for everything?" Donna asked, Hyde turned to her. "You're doing it again." He scoffed.

"Is that all you got out of that?" She shook her head and turned on her side so she could look at him.

"No, I understand. I understand that there is a lot riding on this confrontation you're talking about. Not just for them, but for you. This could be your chance to come to terms with a lot of shit that happened to you. So if you have to do it, then I say do it. But I don't want you to do it alone." Donna told him, Hyde tilted his head. "Let someone go with you. It doesn't have to be me, Kitty, Eric, please don't say Kelso… even Red or Leo. So you're not alone and because you need support to. You should know by now you're not alone."

"Leo is probably ruled out given certain qualities." Donna chuckled and nodded. "And man, who else would I take but you? Think about it. Remember… remember the first time you went to my house. You were stubborn as hell. You've seen more… you understand more." Donna smiled and put her arm around his side.

"Then we'll go whenever, just let me know. And probably Mrs. Forman too, just in case." Donna paused, "Hyde?" He nodded and stood up, ready to try and sleep. "Thank you." He shrugged his shoulders and patted her on the back before he walked down the basement stairs.

* * *

It wasn't easy to balance two lives. Which is why Hyde tried to avoid his past as much as possible. Now he was doing alright living at the Formans'; he was generally happy. He felt among the richest and happiest people although their wealth was within middle-class. It was a major contrast between his childhood years.

While his "new" life filled his every being, it was everything he had ever wanted; a part of him still magnetized the demons of his past. Hyde knew he would always be connected to poverty, neglect, and abuse. He knew this connection was inevitable and it would be impossible to separate himself. Although he could better his life, it would always be what made or broke him. So far, it had made him.

But bringing someone from one of those lives into the other wasn't something he ever planned on doing. It had occurred a few times; when Donna forced her way into his home, when he took Jackie to prom, and when he had to babysit Abby. It was strange and surreal. And it made him realize one life was a pseudo-life. No matter how hard he tried he would never truly belong with the Forman's. Although they would deny it, he knew their neighbors still warned them about him.

Taking Donna into a very real, very present part of his past was even more surreal than those moments, however. She wouldn't simply be a background character as he tried to manage a situation he had been thrust into; she would be one of the main people. She would be living and breathing a situation so close to home to him. And taking someone who had never experienced a slap to the face in scolding from their parents into a world of cruel pain was frightening to him. Most of all Hyde didn't want it to open her eyes to the secrets of him; things the people in his "new" life didn't know were meant to stay unknown.

"Are you okay, Hyde?" She asked as they walked up the rotting front porch. Hyde nodded as he rapped his knuckles on the creaky front door three times. Yelling and shouting was heard between the boys and a barking voice almost unfamiliar to Hyde's ears told them to shut up. But a part of him did recognize that voice; a part of him that he never wanted to face again.

"Shit," he whispered, taking a step back. Donna looked at him curiously, and he pulled her back with him. "Donna… this was not a good idea. You should go home." She shook her head and laughed.

"I knew you would try this, I'm not leaving, Hyde. You said it yourself, how-"

"No, I'm serious. You can't… you can't-"

The door opened and Hyde felt his stomach drop as his fears became true.

"The fuck are you doing here?"

Will Mason.

Hyde braced himself as he looked up from the floor.

"I could say the same for you. What happened to 10 years?"

"Good behavior. Now tell me what the fuck you're doing here or your ass is mine."

"Hey!" Hyde grimaced; this was bad. He knew Donna wouldn't be able to hold her tongue. She should have left; he should have never agreed to let her come with him in the first place.

Will opened his mouth to acknowledge Donna, but a new face appeared next to the tall, drugged out man. A face Hyde had seen so long ago, sunken in and void of life.

"Molly?" Her vacant eyes met his and he felt his heart sink. He was too late. He shouldn't have left.

"Steven, it's so good to see you. Will came home, honey. Isn't that great?" Hyde shook his head as anger and remorse began to tear at his heart.

"What happened to you?" He asked; he felt a hand on his shoulder. Glancing back, he saw Donna standing behind him. Molly laughed sadly and shrugged her bony shoulders.

"I just… fell back I guess. Caught myself off guard. But Will came back, he's on probation, got himself a job… we're doing good." Hyde shook his head.

"Can I come in?" He asked gently, taking a step forward. Will stood in front of Molly.

"Don't you get it? You're not welcome here. After the shit you pulled with my wife, trying to fuck her. Why the hell would I let some bastard like you anywhere near my home?" Hyde turned his attention to Molly, who had now hidden behind her husband. Hyde balled his fists; he was livid.

"I would never-"

"Now you're denyin' it! Just like that asshole father of yours! Would ya look at that, you Hydes are all the same, you low-life son of a-"

"Styfoam?"

The silence was deafening as a small voice was heard from behind Molly and Will. A curly red head peeked by the doorway and he felt himself relax. Abby was okay. But as he got a closer look at her, her face was swollen and her lip was bleeding. She looked too skinny, too pale, and too little for her age.

He lost it.

"Molly, how the fuck could you let this piece of shit back here? After what he did to James and Max and Abby, after what he did to Sean? All of the pain and the lies and the abuse and you let him sleep in this home you had tried to make so much better for your kids. Look at Abby, how many times does he go in her room at night, huh? She's four years old, God damn it! What about Max and James? You let him back here, this is all of your fault." He hissed venomously. He was shaking, he was furious. And in an instant he was pinned on the wall with a fist smashed against his face.

"Don't you ever talk to my wife like that again, boy." Hyde blinked against the pain and pushed Will back from him.

"Don't ever touch her kids again, and I won't." He growled. He heard Donna and Molly telling them both to stop. Hyde knew how this would end; just like when Will was arrested.

He felt something hit the back of his head and everything went hazy. His ears rang as he tried to regain focus. He could feel the pain as fists and fingers punched and gripped and pushed. Hyde closed his eyes and pushed back.

Opening his eyes, he felt his body stinging and tense. Hyde sat up and wiped blood from his mouth and felt hands on his shoulders.

"Steven…? Oh my goodness, you're okay."

Wait, was that Mrs. Forman?

"What the hell?" Hyde asked, blinking. He was no longer at the Mason's house but in Eric's bed.

"Steven… Donna told us everything. Now, I have good news and bad news. The good news is that evil, evil man is put away for a very long time as far as we know. And your family friend Molly is going to prison as well, that's the bad news. Their children are also going to be put in the foster care system."

Hyde felt his heart thud painfully in his chest. So that's what the Mason's had come to; meth heads and losing their children. It was everything he hoped wouldn't happen to Molly and the kids.

"But while the children are waiting to go into foster care… Red and I agreed we could have them stay with us. You can talk to them and explain things to them. They seem to only want to talk to you. Oh, honey, I'm so sorry… I wish I had known what was going on. I wish you… is there anything you would like to tell me or ask?"

"Did you make them hot cocoa?" Hyde asked, his throat sore. Kitty laughed and nodded.

"Of course I did. Your friends are keeping them company now. Playing games in the basement I think. I told everyone to leave you alone but I had to fight off a couple of people." Hyde chuckled. "That man really took a toll on you…" Hyde tilted his head. "A dislocated shoulder, concussion, and three bruised ribs… where have I seen this before…?" She asked, Hyde chuckled and winced at the pain in his abdomen. She kissed his cheek and held his hand tightly. "Is there anything else you'd like to know or talk about?"

"What are they getting charged for?"

"As far as I know assault, physical and… sexual abuse, neglect, and possession of amphetamines. Honey, why did you go over there?" Hyde sighed heavily and laid his head back on the pillow.

"I had to talk to Molly. I didn't know Will was back. She wasn't doing well after her son died, and we left things kind of badly. I just wanted… closure."

"For what?" Kitty asked, squeezing his hand. He blamed his talking on the medicine she had given him; he knew she had Demerol and he knew that's most likely why he wasn't in so much pain.

"Last time I was there over the funeral and the days before, the night of the funeral Molly tried to… get me to sleep with her. She just wouldn't stop, but she passed out and then I just sat outside until the morning, told them I was leaving, and came back home."

"Is she the one who did that to you when you were younger?"

"One of. Can we please not talk about that though?" Kitty nodded and patted his hand reassuringly.

"Of course not, I just want you comfy and happy. I made you some food if you're hungry and there's some water. Steven, I just want to tell you how proud of you I am and that I love you." She told him then kissed his forehead.

"Thanks, Mrs. Forman. I love you too." She beamed and ran her hand through his hair a couple of times before standing up.

"I'll send the children up, if you'd like. I know they're anxious to talk to you. Your friends are too, but they know priorities…" Kitty trailed off, Hyde nodded and slowly sat up in the bed. She quickly left and he sighed heavily.

This was too much news to take on. Will and Molly both arrested; maybe since Molly hadn't been arrested the judge would be easy on her. Then again after the records of abuse James, Max, and Abby have she'll be in the same boat as Will. Hyde couldn't help but feel a little guilty for how this turned out. He shouldn't have pushed Will. He shouldn't have-

Hyde shook his head; this wasn't his fault. Will and Molly deserve this and their children deserve a better life. If only he could help them and still be a part of it. He had been more of a parent to the three than their actual parents. He couldn't never see them again; it would kill him.

A tender knock on the door brought him out of his thoughts. The door opened and the two boys ran toward him and jumped on the bed. Abby was in the arms of someone Hyde was surprised to see.

"She kind of fell asleep on me, so Mrs. Forman said I could bring her up," Jackie said, laying Abby down on the bed next to Hyde. The tiny curly-haired girl curled up next to him and he smiled softly.

"Thanks," he mumbled softly. Jackie stood awkwardly, unsure of what to do. "You don't have to stay, man. Or you can, I don't care." Jackie took this as a yes, so she sat down on Eric's desk chair. Of course, she'd want to hear the gossip.

"Hyde, what's gonna happen to us?" James asked, Max nodded and scooted closer to Hyde. The seventeen year old sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"Well, you're going to stay with Mr. and Mrs. Forman for a few days. I think you'll be down in my room. These two have been awesome though, I know you wanted to live with me and this is the family that has been. Have they been nice to you?"

"Yeah! We got peanut butter and jelly and then we played catch with Mr. Forman and Mrs. Forman made us hot cocoa. But that was yesterday. " James said, Max nodded.

"See? They're great. I don't know where I'd be without them." He glanced over at Jackie who was watching with a curious expression on her face. He looked back at the two boys. "Anyway, you should have a case worker talk to you about the stuff that's happened, and you have to tell them everything, okay? I know your mom and dad told you not to. But listen to me. Tell them everything. Then you'll go live with a different family until things get figured out for you," he kept out the part about them most likely being split apart.

"But what about mama?" Max asked timidly. Hyde remained silent as he fought for words. What could he say? That she screwed up big time and she'd probably never have the chance to see her kids again? Hyde couldn't bear to lie, but the truth seemed just as painful as any lie he could somehow muster.

"She…" Hyde trailed off, unsure how to continue. "She has a lot of things to figure out and has to spend some time away from you. But that doesn't mean she doesn't love you. She just has to get better."

"It's because of Sean," James said, "after he died she got sick again." Hyde nodded slowly. "Is it true Hyde, what dad said about what you did to my mom?"

Hyde felt his stomach squirm and his expression fell. Of course he couldn't prevent questioning minds, after all they were just kids. Extremely confused and warped kids, at that. Hyde shook his head.

"I'm sure anything he said about me isn't true. Now guys, I want you to know that if you ever need me, wherever you are, you give me a call. Alright? I know you'll still be here for a couple of days, but when you're gone, you gotta promise me you'll do that." The two boys beamed at him and nodded boyish and gap-toothed grins.

"Promise." They chirruped, sounding happier than they had throughout the entire conversation.

"Now c'mon, we're gonna go down to the basement." Hyde decided.

He wasn't going to be stuck in a bed where everyone sat around him and felt sorry for him. He wasn't broken; he was banged up and his dignity was probably the most wounded part about him, but he could walk and sit and talk with everyone else. He didn't deserve special treatment for being some "hero." Because he was anything but that. Besides, he had recovered from much more serious wounds in much worse conditions.

"Hyde, I don't think you should." Jackie finally piped up; this was the first time throughout the entire conversation she had even made a sound. He gave her a look before sliding out of bed. He winced as electric pain and heat surged through his body; that was new.

"I'm fine," he acknowledged through gritted teeth as he slowly bent to scoop Abby in his arms. He felt his hurt arm completely lose grip of her; thankfully he was still over the bed or she would have fallen on the floor. The four year old girl had woken up by now and laughed as she fell and bounced on the bed. "Seriously." He added as Jackie gave him an incredulous look.

"I'll get Mrs. Forman," she warned with her hands on her hips.

"Whatever," he grumbled, thankful as Abby grabbed his hand instead of making him carry her. By the time he looked up, Jackie was out of the door.

It wasn't the fact the injuries were bad; he knew they were only minor, to him at least. The fact that he had become adapted to an average suburban life made him more vulnerable to pain he had dealt with almost every day. He honestly didn't go out looking for fights like he used to, so getting beat up was something he wasn't used to anymore.

Hyde hadn't even made it out of the hall before Mrs. Forman somehow dragged him back into the bed and scolded him about "proper care" and "recuperation" and "common sense." And he found himself half listening and agreeing; just like any teenager did with their mother. This was terrible.

And the worst part was Max, James, and Abby were watching; they found the scene in front of them hilarious. Their laughter filled his brain and suddenly he felt very vulnerable.

"Mrs. Forman, I'm fine, seriously."

"You're not fine until I say you're fine, mister!" She cried, Hyde rolled his eyes when she turned her back, "thank you Jackie. Now boys, follow me. I've got some yummy treats for you!" Kitty added as she carried the little girl in her arms. The two boys followed behind her and Hyde sighed heavily as they went downstairs.

"Really, Jackie?" Hyde grumbled, laying his head back on the pillow and closing his eyes. He felt the bottom corner of the bed lower from the extra body weight.

"I've seen you in the hospital enough times to know you need rest. I'm not sorry. Besides, Donna would probably throw a fit and beat you up." Hyde snorted and kept his eyes closed. He believed the latter.

As if on cue, heavy footsteps pounded on the stairs and he grimaced. He didn't want to deal with his friends right now, honestly. But as usual when something happened to him they had to flock and be too caring. If anything, he felt they should act normal instead of walking on eggshells. This wasn't serious; he just took a pretty bad beat down; Hyde was more embarrassed than anything.

"Hyde? Oh thank God you're awake." He heard Donna's voice and opened his eyes. "You scared me."

"Sorry."

His friend crowded into Eric's room and found a place to sit around him; he didn't like being the center of attention. In fact, he didn't even understand why he still had to rest; he was used to taking beatings, it wasn't anything new to him.

"I can't believe you got the crap kicked out of you!" Kelso cried in disbelief, Hyde rolled his eyes. "I mean of all of us, you?"

Ignoring that comment, Hyde turned to Donna. "What exactly happened?"

The red head sighed heavily and ran a hand through her hair.

"Well... Will... is that his name?" Donna asked, Hyde nodded, "he hit you in the back of the head. And then you both started punching each other and pretty much turned each other into a bloody mess but he hit the back of your head again and knocked you out. One of the boys had called the police and Will tried to run when they got there. I was taken in for questioning and thanks to me you don't have to deal with that." She answered, smirking at Hyde who nodded; he was truly grateful. The thought of having to talk to the police made his blood curdle.

And things were normal. Hyde listened to his friends talk and joke and act as if nothing had happened; it's exactly what he wanted. Except, it would have been better if they were in the basement; but he had a strong feeling Kitty was on guard.

He didn't want the fuss and the worry. He had seen too much of that from his friends because of him. They all knew by now how careless and self-sacrificial he was, although he would never admit to the latter. His behavior was expected of him and life simply had to carry on. Nothing needed to be said to him about their worry and happiness he was okay; because he knew. And he didn't need to tell them to stop worrying; because they knew that's how he felt.

They tried to press but he said he was fine. That's how it always went and they shouldn't have expected any different. Only his mind couldn't stop playing through the events of his past and what had just happened. His entire childhood was full of memories of Will and Molly; hardly any of them good. But they were a part of his childhood, no less. And so were their children. Sean had been the only person he knew who lived a similar life to him; he was the only person he could remotely relate to. He had been Hyde's friend from one life.

Abuse, drug use, and neglect had been normal for the Hydes and the Masons. Only when Bud and later Edna left had the Masons begun to change. And it led to one climatic moment which resulted in Will being arrested. He had made their lives better. Sean had a chance now, and so did James, Max and Abby. The three younger children wouldn't go through what Hyde and their older brother had; and that was a relief to Hyde.

And then Sean killed himself. And Molly relapsed in a perilous downward spiral and he had been dragged down with her. Until he pulled himself away and was left to face the guilt of leaving them. But they weren't his family; he knew they were toxic for him. Yet not a day went by where he didn't think about her kids and how wrong it was to leave them with her.

All to find out Will had come home. The three had been subjected to the life Sean and Hyde had tried so hard to prevent them from living. And when Hyde saw Will, he knew he had failed. Everything he had done to save the Masons and try to see them have a better ending than his family had been ruined. And it was all his fault.

And like every chapter of a book, this chapter of his life had to end. He was done balancing two extreme lives. As he had faced before, happy endings didn't exist for people like him. His innocence was stolen from him long ago, yet a part of him still clung to what little fragments of his childhood he had left. But, with a heavy mind and heart, he knew it was time to let go. With Will in the picture, Molly was a lost cause. With drugs, the two were sure to face the inevitable.

The only happy ending Hyde could imagine was for James, Max, and Abby. If they got out of Point Place, or Wisconsin even, they had a chance at a better life. They could make something of themselves and strive for what he and Sean couldn't. They wouldn't have the history of their family to drag them lower than dirt. They had a chance at reclaiming their childhood and their innocence.

Like every ending of a good book, Hyde would make damn sure their life with him in it ended as happily as possible. But they had to leave him; just like their parents, he was a reminder of their ominous past.

He was just as toxic as Will and Molly.

* * *

Hyde couldn't sleep. The bed was too soft and the air was too stuffy. There were no footsteps above him. He wasn't used to sleeping upstairs and he didn't like it. His mind was reeling and his skin itched.

The only thing he could hear was the gentle breathing and soft snores coming from James, Max, and Abby. Somehow, they weaseled their way into sleeping in Eric's room with him. And Abby had wormed her way from a stuffed sleeping bag to Eric's bed and was currently using Hyde as a pillow. James and Max were sleeping on his cot that Eric had been commanded to drag upstairs.

Hyde sighed heavily and readjusted himself so Abby's head lay on the pillow. A soft sound came from her sleeping form as she curled herself up in attempts to feel him. Brushing her auburn locks from her forehead, he stood up and silently tip-toed out of Eric's room.

The clock had read 2:38 in the morning and he had a strong feeling no one would be awake. It would be the perfect time for him to have a smoke and to have some time alone; maybe he could sleep on the basement couch. But as he snuck into the kitchen to grab a dinner roll left over from dinner, he heard a quiet weeping.

"Mrs. Forman?" Hyde asked gently as he entered the brightly lit room. The petite woman jumped, startled, and wiped her eyes quickly. She laughed nervously and wrung her hands in front of her.

"Oh Steven, you scared me." She greeted, laughing once more. Hyde grimaced and felt himself walking toward the fridge. "Why on Earth are you awake? You should be sleeping, and you surely shouldn't be walking."

"Mrs. Forman, my back isn't broken. I'm really okay," he offered as he dug in the cupboards. "What's wrong?" He asked, although he doubted she would say. Hyde knew they were very similar in that aspect, although she would talk openly about her feelings, some things she would just keep to herself, especially with her kids. But it was worth a shot.

"Oh nothing, Steven, what are you doing?" She asked, looking alarmed as he turned on the stove. He blinked and couldn't help the innocently struck look on his face as he set down two coffee mugs on the counter.

"I figured you'd want some hot chocolate..."

Kitty laughed, a genuine, heartfelt laugh, and she stood up. Wrapping her arm around Hyde, she kissed his cheek, and nudged him away from the stove.

"That is so sweet of you, honey. It's just... I'm very overwhelmed right now. I'm terrified for those kids..." she trailed off, unable to finish her sentence. Hyde nodded.

"I know. But their case worker is coming tomorrow and they'll be okay as long as Molly and Will are far away from them." He felt her cool hand grab his and she squeezed tightly.

"And seeing them so hurt and scared and abused it just... it reminds me of a certain little boy I knew a long time ago. And I can only hope those children turn out to be just as wonderful as that little boy turned out." Hyde felt his cheeks burn as her eyes glittered with tears of mixed emotion. "I can't understand why any mother would do something so horrible to her children, or let such a horrible man live in their lives. It makes me sick,"

"Some people shouldn't be parents. I guess the love you have for your kids is like their love for booze and drugs. I dunno, stuff just..." Hyde scrubbed a hand through his hair as he fought for words. "Sucks," he finally mumbled. Kitty passed a full mug of hot chocolate to him and he took it. Both of them sat down at the table and sat in silence.

"How are you, Steven? I won't pry, but you must be feeling much worse than I do." Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"It's not the same. You're a mom comparing her parenting to other moms. I'm just picking up the pieces," he mumbled, "Mrs. Forman, I don't think I should have contact with the Masons after they're gone. I don't think it would be good for them." Kitty tilted her head, "if they talk to me, I'm a reminder and a link between their new life and their old life. For what they've gone through, they can't have any of that. Not at this age, they're already messed up from the shitty hand they've been dealt," Hyde caught her gaze and mumbled a "sorry" after realizing he swore in front of her. "I want them to have the best life possible and I don't think they can if I'm in it."

"And you think removing yourself entirely is a good choice? You've been the only stable role model in their life, I remember the first time you ever brought little Abby over here. The Masons could trust you, and they counted on you for support. Do you think leaving them now is the best decision?" Hyde sighed heavily and rested his head on the table.

"I can't have closure until everything and everyone from my past is gone. And they're going to be the same way, so why make them wait?" He replied, voice muffled by the table. He felt Kitty's arm around him and rubbed her thumb comfortingly over his shoulder.

"Why make that little boy wait any longer, huh?" She asked gently, taking one last sip from her cocoa before she stood up. Hyde remained seated. Kitty took their empty cups and rinsed them in the sink.

Hyde felt sick. Because he was never the person to leave; he was always left. And now it was up to him to say "goodbye;" how could he do this to them when he had never heard the words before? He shook his head and closed his eyes as nerves rattled his brain. His pulse quickened and he suddenly felt colder. Deep down he knew this was truly the right decision; like Kitty said that little boy she knew so well had waited long enough. And he couldn't move on without having peace of mind.

"Now it's time to try and sleep, Steven. Tomorrow is going to come much sooner than you think." Hyde sighed and nodded; there was no trying to get passed Kitty, he knew that. He could wait to have a smoke until tomorrow. He'd probably need the extra cigarette.

The two walked silently up the stairs together, Kitty behind to make sure he didn't fall or have difficulty. As he opened the door to Eric's room, she whispered a "goodnight" and tip-toed to her and Red's room.

Hyde closed the door behind him and quietly crept back to the bed. Lifting the blankets, he curled up similar to how Abby had, and felt her move next to him. A pair of wide eyes blinked at him and in the moonlight seeping through the windows, he saw her smile and blazing hair as she gazed at him.

"Styfoam, I had a nightmare," she whimpered, "and you were gone." Hyde moved his arm and she burrowed close to him. He sighed and closed his eyes as he patted her back.

"It's okay, Princess, I'm here," he whispered; he hoped she clung to those words for a long time.

Like Mrs. Forman said, the next morning came much too early. Mostly due to the fact he hadn't fallen asleep until the sun began to peek over the horizon and Abby had an internal alarm of 6 in the morning. Thankfully she just let him lay there, but her brothers were soon awake and hungry. He told them he was sure Mrs. Forman was downstairs already cooking and they should go see; but they wouldn't go without him.

He knew Kitty would be worried and tell him to go right back to bed, but Max, Abby, and James were also worried and he needed to be there for them while he could. So he slowly rolled out of bed and picked up Abby; he grunted as she kicked against his side.

Just like he said, Kitty was already cooking up a storm in the kitchen; he could smell it from the stairs. This caused the boys to run in excitement and Abby to want to join them. He covered her squealing mouth and let her down at the bottom of the stairs.

"Now that is a sight for tired eyes," Hyde turned to find Eric staring at him with a smirk.

"Get bent," Hyde grumbled, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

"But Hyde, it just makes me so happy that you have a heart after all!" Eric chirped mockingly. Hyde rolled his eyes and walked into the kitchen. James, Max, and Abby had taken the empty seats at the table. Red was sipping his coffee and reading the newspaper; he probably didn't even notice the difference in the occupants. Eric and Hyde glanced at each other before standing next to the counter. Kitty smiled at them and handed them each a glass of orange juice.

"Mrs. Forman can I please just have some coffee?" Hyde asked, she shook her head.

"No growing boy should have coffee!" she responded.

"I don't think I'm growing anymore…" he grumbled. With a scolding look, she handed him the coffee cup he had used last night. She met eyes with him momentarily before turning back to her cooking, "thanks."

Hyde glanced at the clock; it was nearly half past six and the caseworker was to arrive at 7:00 a.m. Hyde felt his stomach squirm and he pushed the coffee away; suddenly the scent of her cooking was almost repulsive. He tried to ignore the clock as everyone ate breakfast. Kitty tried to keep up a conversation with the children, Max and James fought, Abby found an interest in Eric, and Red and Hyde were silent.

"Steven, you haven't even touched your food," Mrs. Forman piped up, Hyde just stared at his full plate. Max took the bacon from it, and James took his orange juice.

"I'm not really hungry," he mumbled, glancing at the clock. As his heart raced and dropped, he wished he hadn't.

A knock on the front door caused him to jump. Kitty and Red both stood up and left the room quietly. Eric looked at Hyde with worry, and James, Max, and Abby continued eating and talking.

"It's gonna be okay, man," Eric told him; Hyde stared at him blankly. "Seriously." For a moment, Hyde considered telling him what as running through his mind and plaguing his conscience, but that feeling subsided and he simply shrugged.

"Whatever."

"Boys, Abby? Could you come here?" Kitty called. The three children glanced at their plates, and then to Hyde, who motioned his hand toward the door. They bolted out of the room and Hyde stood up.

"It's not like it's the end of the world, this is good for them. It's just like what we did for you."

"They're going to be split up, Forman. And…" Hyde trailed off, "it's not the same," he whispered.

"You don't know that," Eric whispered back. Hyde rolled his eyes and walked into the living room.

He was instantly greeted with tears and sobs and open arms and little bodies grabbing him tightly. And in that moment he felt the same terror they did. He felt their naivety breaking and their childhood closing in around them. He felt his own childhood calling.

He heard his name and "please don't make us go" and "come with us, please?" and he felt a terribly tight knot in his throat. He couldn't speak and his eyes suddenly felt too dry.

"Guys, this is what we talked about yesterday," he finally spoke, and they silenced. The case worker was standing next to him, Eric was silent and standing next to Kitty as Kitty cried into Red's shoulder. "You're going to be just fine, you'll go to a nice house, just like this one, and have more brothers and sisters and people to play with. You'll have… you'll have a new mom and dad to make sure you're okay. But they won't hurt you or scare you, okay? They're going to love you a lot."

"Why can't you come with?" Max asked as he stared at Hyde with bloodshot eyes.

"Because…" Hyde fought for words. "This is my home," he murmured, "that's my own new brother, and my own new mom and dad. And they love me a lot. And you're all going to have this, I promise." His voice wavered as he spoke, and he heard more than one sniffle in the corner by the door.

"Will you come see us?" James asked. Hyde felt defeated; should he lie or tell the truth? He couldn't bear to hurt them, either way. So he had to settle for the middle road.

"I'll try, but you gotta promise me you're gonna make a good new life for yourself so I can see you, okay?" The three children nodded and hugged him tightly. And he hugged them back.

"Bye, Styfoam…" Abby whispered as tears fell from her eyes.

"Goodbye, Princess," he murmured as their caseworker thanked him, the Formans, and left with the Mason children in tow. The door closed behind them.

Relief and grief rushed through Hyde's system as he realized that would be the last time he would ever see or hear them. He squeezed his eyes shut and took a deep breath. A pair of arms squeezed him tightly as Kitty fell apart in his arms.

"Oh, sweetie…" she sobbed. Hyde patted her back and stared up at the ceiling. There were too many tears, too many emotions, but something felt wrong. There was no closure.

"Mrs. Forman…" he began, she wiped her eyes and looked up at him, "I'm sorry, but there's something I really need to do right now. And I need help."

"What am I, chopped liver?" Eric piped up; Hyde turned to him, and considered this.

"You boys go, do whatever you need to do," Mrs. Forman blurted before running to Red once more. The two teenage boys waved and quickly ran outside. As they approached the Vista Cruiser, Eric stopped him.

"So where am I taking you?"

"I just need you to drop me off somewh-"

"No, man. For years you have had all these things happen to you, good and bad. You have all these moments and I've never been a part of them. And if I am your so called "brother" then I'm not letting you do this alone. So tell me where I need to go."

As the doors to the car shut, Hyde stared at his thumbs in the passenger seat and waited for Eric to turn on the car. As the ignition started, he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. Taking a heavy drag, he felt the smoke burn his lungs and relaxation almost immediately consumed him; that's what he needed all day.

"Kenosha Correction Center," Hyde answered, Eric's jaw dropped and he shook his head.

"No, no way, I know what you're-"

"Fine." Hyde opened the door, "I'll figure out how to get there, myself." Eric groaned in the driver's seat and hit his forehead against the steering wheel. In a fury, he whipped around and faced Hyde.

"Fine I'll take you, but you're not going in alone." Rolling his eyes, Hyde rolled down the window and flicked the cigarette out of his hand.

"I know."

Eric smiled at Hyde momentarily before pulling out of the driveway. And for a brief second, Hyde believed that.

* * *

"Only one visitor at a time," the guard said, giving a look to Eric, who's jaw dropped.

"But I- we just-"

"It's fine, man, just stay cool." Eric ran up to Hyde, who was in the process of preparing to be frisked.

"What if the prisoners get me?" He whispered, Hyde patted his shoulder once and took a step away.

"This is an all-female facility, you'll be…" Hyde trailed off, "on second thought, find the bathroom and stay put." He heard Eric's protests fill the front of the prison as he was led down the hall.

"I take it you're the kid she keeps talking about, Steven Hyde?" The guard asked. Hyde gave him a look through his shades, but shrugged.

"Sure," he mumbled, trying to pay no mind to that comment. The thought of what Molly could possibly say about him was terrifying; after all no one could predict what came out of her mouth when her mind was clouded.

"She's in here, waiting for you, only twenty minutes. I'll be waiting outside if you need anything."

Hyde was used to the visitation protocol; he had done it countless times between the ages of fourteen and fifteen. He simply nodded and walked into what the prison used as their visitation and debriefing room. Molly looked up from her cuffed hands, with bloodshot and watery eyes, and stared at him in shock.

"Steven?" She asked, Hyde sat down on the chair on the other side of the table and shrugged.

"Hey." Was all he could think to say.

And she burst into tears. Hyde stiffened and scooted away from the table as her shoulders quaked with heavy sobs. Her voice had sounded raw from crying, or screaming, if not both. She was worn down and appeared more like a skeleton than a human being. He didn't know what to say or do.

"I'm so sorry," she finally whispered, "f-for what I did to you. For what I said to Will. I thought… I thought things w-were gonna be different. I thought he c-changed. He said he did. I thought he could-"

"Why apologize to me? Why not to your kids?"

Molly stared at him questioningly or a moment, then her eyes flittered to the table once again.

"How are they?"

"State took them this morning. I saw them off, they're fine; young enough that this whole experience won't completely screw them." Molly glanced up at him, and for a moment understood what he was saying. But that moment had passed, and then she tried to look right into his eyes. He would have felt highly uncomfortable if he didn't have his sunglasses.

"That's good," Hyde scoffed, "I'm so sorry, Steven… can you ever forgive me?" She asked, Hyde turned away, unsure of what to say. Suddenly he felt a hand on his and he jumped. Cold metal almost froze his skin and he stood up. "I never meant to hurt you, Steven, I only…"

"What?" he asked, holding his wrist.

"I only ever meant to love you."

His stomach twisted. His mind grew dizzy. He leaned on the chair as he contemplated what she said. Only there was nothing to contemplate. All of these years, since he was a kid… had this been her whole plan? How sick in the head was she?

"I'm just a kid," All of those years fighting for manhood and to be considered a grown man, to say those four words took him back. He never thought of himself as a kid or a child. He never had that opportunity.

"You're so much more, Steven. All those years of helping me and…"

"I didn't do it for you!" He barked, "I did it for Abby, and Max and James, and even Sean. I did it so they wouldn't have to put up with this!" He thrust his hand in her direction, and she recoiled. "I didn't do it for you." His final words were a barely audible murmur.

"That's a lie," she whispered, Hyde shook his head, and looked her in the eye. Only she couldn't see his.

"It's the truth. I didn't want them to live this life. I didn't want them to turn into me. I thought maybe I did it for you, until you completely fucked up after Sean died. You and Edna, no matter how different you said you were, are exactly the same."

He felt as if he had slapped her.

"I wanted to tell you the kids were going to be fine, but apparently you don't care. I also came to say goodbye." He finished. Molly remained silent, as if absorbing what he had said. But he knew better; she was more than likely trying to not fall asleep.

"Why goodbye when I'll see you again?" Molly asked, Hyde shook his head and had to channel a lot of self-control to keep from pacing.

"Because I won't, Molly. I can't, ever. And you can't either. This life isn't good for me and I can't be stuck in it."

"Fine. But let me tell you one last thing. No matter how hard you try, you won't ever get out. You're gonna get sucked back in over and over and over again. There is no escape; you can't take this life from the kid."

"But you can take the kid from this life." He countered.

The door opened and the guard walked to Molly. He nodded at Hyde and Molly lowered her eyes once more. The two walked out ahead of Hyde and he took a deep breath before exiting as well. Molly spun around against the guard's grip and shouted at him.

"Steven, if you ever trusted me you have to watch out. I've seen… I've seen him." Before he could ask "who?" she was dragged from the corridor and down the hall to the cells.

Hyde halted his steps and stared after her. It didn't make sense; was that a warning or was that crazy talk? He didn't understand and wasn't sure if he wanted to. The only man in his life now to watch out for was Red and even then he didn't have much to worry about.

"I ended up in the cafeteria. I have never felt so irresistible." He heard Eric greet him from the side but he didn't respond. "What's up with you? Did it go okay?" Hyde nodded. "So we can go now…? "

"Sure." Hyde mumbled, Eric nodded a bit too excitedly and ran down the hall to the doors. He followed behind and shook his head. Molly was just going through withdrawals. He knew there wasn't anything to worry about. With that, he broke into a run when exiting the prison.

"Hey, Forman, wait up!" He called out; for the first time in a long time, he finally felt good. And this time he knew it would last.


	61. People Like You

_****__"People Like You Are Why People Like Me Exist..."_

_****__"Kiss of Death"/"Kelso's Serenade"_

_You never wanted this so now I'm taking it from you. Back in the hands of the natives of this land, you're a fallen star; you know not what you are. We're escaping through the tunnels deep beneath you. People like you are why people like me exist; persist to spit upon your writ. People like you are why people like me defy your lies; so here's your kiss goodbye. Don't you look at her, don't even say a word. You had your chance and you sold it secondhand, repressed and overdressed. Brand a scarlet letter on your chest; here's where second best overtakes the rest. People like you are why people like me exist; persist to spit upon your writ. People like you are why people like me defy your lies; so here's your kiss goodbye. A person's not more than a thing the day his insides cease to sting. Get on your gloves and take the ring; vacate your throne, unholy king of kings. People like you are why people like me exist; persist to spit upon your writ. People like you are why people like me defy your lies; so here's your kiss goodbye. People like you are why people defy your lies, so here's a kiss goodbye..._

Today had been anti-climatic. The inevitable happened; Jackie caught Kelso cheating on Laurie and somehow Hyde and Fez ended up dealing with the aftermath. It all seemed sudden, really and didn't quite make sense. But he figured the entire scenario didn't make much sense to begin with, so he didn't question.

Sure, Hyde felt bad, and a little glad, but he didn't want to hear her cry and moan about all of the wrongdoings he was more than aware of. That was until Jackie decided to use him as a shoulder to cry on, as well as a living, breathing snot rag.

"Oh, Hyde!" she wailed then burrowed her face in his chest. Eric and Donna stared at him in slight shock as he flailed his arms and squirmed.

"Why does she always come to _me_?" he asked, wincing as her shrill and muffled cry pierced his eardrums.

"Maybe because of your empathetic and loving heart?" Eric teased, Hyde rolled his eyes and finally decided to pat her on the shoulder. Quite frankly, he was terrible comfort. Donna gave him a fierce look and he gave her a look as if asking, "what?"

"Hug her," Donna mouthed, Hyde internally groaned in annoyance. "Eric, let's go find Kelso so I can kick his ass." Donna piped up and quickly dragged Eric to the basement stairs leading outside.

"Why can't I kick his ass?" Eric asked as their footsteps pounded up the stairs. The last thing Hyde heard before the door shut was Donna's response of, "because you can't even kick Fez's ass."

Hyde sighed heavily. So he was stuck with crying, slobbering Jackie. Alone. Karma was definitely kicking his ass.

"Hey..." He fumbled for words as the raven-haired girl sobbed heavily into his shirt. "It's gonna be okay." Jackie wailed loudly and pulled away from him. She fell, pouting and crying, on the couch and glared at him with angry bloodshot eyes.

"Michael cheated on me and you say, 'it's okay?'" She barked as she wiped at the mascara trail that ran down her cheeks. Hyde sighed heavily and sat down on the couch beside her.

"Look, it's not okay. But you will be. Besides, Laurie is the Earth Mother Whore... I'm sorry," he didn't know what else to say. He was characteristically awkward in these kind of situations.

"I should have known better; I thought he changed. But I was wrong and I'm so stupid to think he was better than..." Jackie trailed off and lowered her eyes. Hyde was going to regret this; this had to be a trick similar to roping him into taking her to prom. But he had to, for the sake of trying to be comforting.

"Better than what?" Hyde pressed; he hated it when people pushed for answers. But he also never wanted to claim the center of attention, either. Yet, much to Hyde's slight surprise, Jackie remained silent and simply shook her head.

"Nothing, no one," she murmured, then looked at him. She was fidgeting with her hands. Jackie took a deep breath and turned to face him on the couch. Her sobs had reduced to the occasional sniffle but she still looked so young to him; as if she were still naive of the reality of the world. "I just didn't think he'd hurt me like everyone else. He promised. But so did mom and daddy and..." she trailed off again, "You were right... all those years ago. About all your beneath the surface talk. You're right about everything." Hyde stayed quiet; he didn't have anything to say. This was about her talking, anyway. "I'm rich, I'm gorgeous, I have an amazing house and car and I have parents. But... they can't buy love. And they're always gone. And Michael said he was never going to hurt me like my mom or my dad... but he didn't understand. And how could I have trusted him? I mean, after everything... I shouldn't have gone back out with him. He is the worst mistake of my life. Hyde, how do you do it?"

"Do what?" he asked. Jackie crossed her legs and faced him now.

"Nothing bothers you but your entire family is gone. And dealing with your friends and those kids. Why can't I be strong like you? Why can't I live without emotion?" Hyde chuckled and shrugged his shoulders and smiled sadly.

"Listen... Kelso's a tool, don't tell me you never knew that. You just... you gotta stop thinking about it. Thinking doesn't solve anything." Jackie sniffled and wiped her eyes as she rested her head on Hyde's shoulder. He sighed softly and wrapped an arm around her; he was used to this with Donna, he just hoped Jackie would decide to not talk like the red-head.

To his shock, and his relief, she did just that. Perhaps she finally realized how much he loathed talking about feelings; or she just didn't want to talk. Either way, he was not complaining. Except when his arm started to go numb and her perfume grew to be too strong. He checked his watch and grimaced; she had been laying on him for twenty minutes; enough was enough.

"Jackie?" He spoke, sounding much softer than he intended. Footsteps pounded down the stairs as he said her name once more. A deep breath and a barely audible snore filled his ears; she had fallen asleep. Hyde closed his eyes and shook his head; this was definitely his lucky day.

"So is everything- what the hell?" Donna asked as she stepped into the basement. Hyde looked at her and scowled as she began to laugh. Eric snickered as well as Hyde's arm became completely numb.

"This is your fault," Hyde grumbled in annoyance. Donna rolled her eyes and Eric continued to laugh to himself as his girlfriend approached Hyde. She shook Jackie gently and backed away as petite girl's eyes fluttered open. Her puffy, bare eyes looked at Hyde for a moment; in that brief second Hyde felt a twinge of… compassion? No, that couldn't be right. His thoughts of her child-like naivety crossed his mind once again as he saw the innocent expression on her face. But before he could comprehend what he may have felt, she was on her feet and fixing her hair as she walked to the door.

"I'm sorry, I need to go… thanks Hyde. For everything," Jackie mumbled before she ran out the door. As it shut behind her, the couple in front of him turned their attention to him.

"What the hell just happened?" Eric asked, Hyde shrugged his shoulders and shook his arm to regain feeling. He resisted the urge to punch his arm to relieve the sharp pins and needles reaction as his nerves twitched.

"She talked and fell asleep. And I have had enough," Hyde grumbled as he pulled out a joint from his pocket. Perhaps he should have offered one to Jackie; he soon thought against it, her first time smoking on top of being depressed was something he didn't want to witness.

"So everything is okay?" Donna asked; Hyde nodded. As okay as things could be for a teenaged girl who just found out her boyfriend was cheating on her the entire time they dated, he thought. But he knew Jackie; she'd be fine. "Good," she mumbled, then lit the incense.

Hyde breathed in the smoke and almost smiled at the burn in his throat. He closed his eyes and held his breath for as long as he could. And in that moment, the entire night and the terrible twist of his emotions burned right along with lungs and throat, and everything was forgotten.

* * *

"Hyde, I feel like I really screwed things up." The seventeen-year old boy's eyes opened as he was addressed and he sighed heavily. He glanced up and found Kelso standing in his doorway.

"Man, what are you doing? It's six in the morning and for once I'm sleeping. Go away." He barked with a voice thick with sleep. Kelso shook his head and sat on the corner of Hyde's cot.

"I was upstairs with Laurie, and I wanted to talk to Eric but he isn't even in his room. So here I am. Do you think I screwed up?"

"I know you did." Hyde mumbled as he rubbed his eyes. There was an acrid taste in his mouth and his stomach churned uneasily; lack of sleep was catching up to him.

"How do I fix it?"

There was a strong urge within Hyde to say, "don't" but he willed himself from that and shrugged his shoulders. He coughed quietly; he better not be getting sick because that was the last thing he wanted to deal with.

"Just let it blow over. You didn't just screw up; you fucked up, big time. But I know someone like Jackie, she'll come around. But you gotta do the right thing man. Laurie? I mean, really? Have you even thought about all the crap she could have? She's been with more people than everyone in this house can count on their fingers and toes."

"But I love her, man!" Kelso paused, as he let what Hyde said sink in, "do you think she could actually have something?" Hyde rolled his eyes and pulled out a cigarette from the pack under his cot. He handed it over to Kelso, as well as his Zippo lighter.

"How can you love someone who is incapable of love? And all I'm saying is that is one tree I would not even consider barking up."

"Well yeah but that's 'cause she's like your sister." Kelso countered.

"Whatever, man." Hyde barked. "Do whoever you want. I don't care," he mumbled and laid back down on his cot. Kelso whined and stamped his feet in a tantrum.

"I need help… " the older of the two whimpered, "I need to get Jackie back." Hyde threw his blankets of off him and stood up from his bed. He was getting a splitting headache and knew he wouldn't be able to fall back asleep now. If only Forman hadn't snuck over to Donna's.

"Write her a song," Hyde offered sarcastically as took his lighter from Kelso.

"That's genius! Can I borrow your guitar?" he asked, pointing to the left corner of Hyde's room. Hyde turned and found his weathered guitar sitting next to a locked box. "Casey used mine for a bonfire."

"I was…" Hyde trailed off and shook his head, "whatever. Just leave me out of it and bring it back tonight," he finally decided, defeated.

"You're the best!" Kelso clapped him on the shoulder and grabbed his guitar then ran out of Hyde's room.

Hyde glanced to his rumpled bed and considered laying back down, but he needed medicine for his headache. Sighing, he walked out of his room and up the stairs to the main level of the Forman's house. He entered the dark kitchen and reached into the left cupboard for the white bottle he had grown familiar with over the past few months. He popped four pills in his mouth and swallowed them dry.

"Daddy would kick you out if he knew you were stealing drugs." Hyde turned to find a smug-smiling Laurie standing with her arms folded in a proud stance.

"Not if I told him you were bed buddies with Kelso," he retorted, causing her face to fall.

"You wouldn't." Hyde raised an eyebrow and folded his arms as well; mostly to mock her.

"Watch me," he threatened, "why are you, anyway?" He asked, in all seriousness.

"He's cute… and I'm bored." Hyde scoffed and opened the fridge. He grabbed out the orange juice and poured two glasses of juice. Laurie looked at him in surprise as he handed her one of the glasses. "Thanks," she murmured cautiously. "Besides, what's it to you?"

"Nothing, I just thought you were smarter than that." Hyde responded as he sat at the kitchen table. Laurie sat across from him and took a sip of orange juice. "I mean, how low do you have to be to actually want to be with a Kelso?"

"He's nicer than Casey, though." Laurie defended, "hasn't anyone thought that maybe I like Kelso? Michael, I mean. Maybe he's different than all the others and-"

"He's not; look what he did to Jackie. He's just like them." Hyde retorted; Laurie looked away guiltily and tapped her fingers on the table.

"Not with me though, he's… he actually likes me."

"He actually loved Jackie, too. Get what I'm saying?" Laurie remained silent as she stared at the drink in front of her.

"Why are you doing this?" She asked suddenly, "Why are you trying to be nice and help me?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders and leaned back in his chair.

"I'm not, I just don't get it. You could obviously have any guy you want and yet you choose Kelso. I'm baffled."

"What do you mean 'obviously?'"

"Obviously as in "you've screwed every guy in the greater Kenosha area."" Hyde responded coolly, with a smirk. His face fell when he saw her eyes glitter momentarily before she turned and took another drink. "Are you actually crying?" He asked in disbelief.

"No," Laurie snapped angrily; Hyde knew that voice, though. "Hyde, can I tell you something?" He just gave her a look, and she took his silence as a yes. "No one has ever told me I'm pretty before. And I thought when you said…"

Hyde grimaced. Perhaps her promiscuity was out of insecurity. He wasn't going to press the issue, for good reasons, but that made a lot of sense. That's how majority of the girls in Point Place High School were. And if no one had ever told Laurie Forman, Earth Mother Whore, she was pretty then maybe she sought after endearments in other endeavors.

"Well Red has." Hyde offered, Laurie scoffed.

"He's my dad, he has to. Same with mom. I don't even want to try anymore; I don't care enough. I just don't want to end up alone. So if Kelso is alone and I'm alone… then we can be alone together." Hyde nodded; so she was the exact opposite of him. It made total sense. A promiscuous girl from a traditional, loving family, searching in all the wrong places for true love vs. a burnout boy from a dysfunctional family, suddenly put in the right place and all he wants is to be alone.

"Maybe if you didn't open your legs to every guy, you'd find one decent man who says all you need to hear." Laurie recoiled with an offended expression. "I don't want to see you turn out like my mom." Hyde mumbled truthfully. "Because I think you're better than that. But you two are oddly similar, except… you don't shoot up or have feet immune to broken glass."

"You really see me turning out like her?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"I just don't want it to happen, didn't say I see it that way. You've got potential, deep down under the nine layers of hell. Just find something you're good at and make something of yourself. And… for what it's worth, more than half of Point Place's girls are uglier than you."

Laurie stood up from the chair and placed the empty glass in the kitchen sink. She turned back to Hyde and smiled ever so slightly.

"Thanks… but this doesn't change anything," she said, referring to their sibling-like banter and the snarky digs at each other.

"Whatever," He retorted as she walked out of the kitchen. As she left, Mrs. Forman entered and gave him a questioning glance. He just shrugged and took another sip of orange juice.

Hyde went back downstairs to sleep after breakfast. Although he was restless and mostly dozing due to his friends being louder than the television and his music, he had managed to get an extra couple hours of sleep. His headache was gone and he didn't feel so woozy; accomplishing his chores wouldn't feel so exhausting now.

The trash was out and the driveway was swept. His room wasn't as cluttered and his laundry was almost finished drying. Then he would just lock himself in his room to read and listen to music; he was sick of dealing with people and their problems. He was just confused as to why everyone went to him for advice; he was probably the worst person to vent to.

Of course the conversation at the circle revolved around Jackie and Kelso and it sickened him. Kelso's lack of hygiene hadn't helped, either. The idea of Kelso writing a song for her had been passed around again and although he had been sarcastic earlier this morning, Kelso actually thought him to be serious. At least he'd probably get to see it blow up in his face.

Finally, and thankfully, he was alone now. In fact, he had the entire Forman residence to himself. Moments like these were rare, mostly because Red didn't entirely trust him, but Mrs. Forman assured him that visiting Aunt Pearl was not necessary. By the way she sounded, he had a feeling their aunt would have a fit if she met him.

Hyde opened the dryer and began pulling out his clothes; although they weren't completely dry he couldn't afford to have his clothes shrink anymore. He did have money in case he had to buy a new shirt or jeans, but nearly every penny earned from his paycheck had been saved; he'd need it for when he moved out. And if Mrs. Forman found out he needed new clothes she'd take him on an unnecessary shopping spree; case and point as to why he did his own laundry.

The door to the basement opened and Hyde turned around to see who ruined his moment of peace. Jackie closed the door behind her and sat on the couch. He returned to folding his shirts and hoped she would take the hint and leave. Instead, she hopped on top of the washer beside him.

"You know, it's weird. I thought that after me and Michael broke up I wouldn't want to hang out here anymore." She piped up as she kicked her feet in the air. Hyde nodded and tossed his pajama shirt on the top of his shirt stack.

"Yup, that's what we're hoping," Hyde replied with a hint of apathy. Although he did feel bad for Jackie, he just wanted to be alone; it wasn't too much to ask for considering solitude was a rare occurrence these days.

"But I think if I left you'd really miss me. Right?" Jackie asked sincerely; he glanced over at her momentarily and caught her doe-eyed stare.

"Umm I umm suppose that… you know it's important when you have uh… a bad breakup that you uh have friends to uh sympathetic… uh stuff… umm support and uhh… I don't know..." Hyde trailed off dismally. He wasn't sure what to say to her question. He honestly wouldn't miss her hanging around the basement, but a part of him knew he'd feel like their circle of friends wasn't complete without her bossy mouth and short stature.

"Right!" Jackie chirruped, sounding much happier, "so let's go to the mall." Hyde halted all movements. How had the terrible attempt of advice he just gave given her the idea to go to the mall? Especially with him, of all people.

"No uh I meant friends like Donna… or not me," He answered then grabbed his laundry and walked to his room, hoping she would get the hint. Jackie followed him and leaned against the wall as he put his clothes away in the dresser he had made years ago in shop.

"But I noticed you're alone a lot and I'm alone a lot, so let's be alone together," she countered. Hyde scoffed; he wished he was alone as much as she thought he was. "Look, we're alone right now!" He glanced up at her and gave her a look she wouldn't have been able to read. The only time he was alone with a girl in his room was when he… he shook his head and quickly exited the too small space.

"That's not really a very good reason for us to-"

"Wait, let's go to Sizzler. They've got a salad bar; it's all you can eat plus five different colors of Jello." She paused, waiting for him to say something. He wasn't budging; she could enjoy the Jello and the mall by herself; he'd enjoy the Forman's basement and maybe- "I'll buy," she finally offered.

Sold.

"You've been through a rough time. Let's go." He mumbled, she grinned and looped her arm around his. Hyde gave her a look but rolled his eyes and walked up the basement stairs with her.

"This should be fun." Hyde shrugged his shoulders. Jackie's definition of "fun" was probably the exact opposite of his. But he couldn't help but feel bad for her. Hyde unlaced his arm from her grip and opened the driver's seat door. Jackie started to head to the passenger's side but he shook his head.

"Nah, you can drive this time." She looked shocked, but happy as she realized he had opened the door for her. Quickly she sat in the driver's seat and he settled in the passenger side after shutting her door.

"Michael never let me drive, or opened doors for me," Jackie said as she started the ignition of what he presumed was to be her father's car.

"Well, you just got your license the other day…"

"You remembered!"

How could he forget? She had spent an hour showing them her license and made fun of their photos. In his defense, he had been incredibly high when he renewed his license. Instead of barking back with a usual retort, he bit back his tongue and nodded.

"So…" Jackie began as an awkward silence overwhelmed the car. Hyde looked out his window and tapped his finger against his leg absent-mindedly. "Oh! You know what we should do? We should play the Question Game! See, I ask you a question and then you answer and then ask me one."

"Why?" Hyde asked in deadpan.

"Because it's fun. My turn! What's your favorite color?"

"No." Jackie glared at him as she stopped at the corner of 8th Avenue and Spruce Street.

"My favorite color is pink. I think yours is black."

"Think whatever you want." It was actually blue.

"Ooh, that's an interesting twist! I'll say what I think you like. And you tell me if I'm right or not." Hyde remained silent as he watched her swerve toward the curb. He grimaced when realizing he was white-knuckling the door handle. "Your silence automatically counts as a yes. So… my favorite food is Mediterranean, or Italian. I think yours is… Mexican food!" Hyde just gave her a sidelong glance, "or something weird like Oriental food."

Hyde sighed heavily as his hands itched to hold a cigarette. This was a terrible idea; he had no clue why he decided to put himself in this hell. "Steven, you're supposed to tell me if I'm right."

"I don't care. Think whatever," he answered. Jackie pouted as she continued down the road.

"You're no fun," she whined, Hyde scowled and continued to drum his fingers. "My daddy does the same thing when he wants a cigar. I'd say yes but he doesn't like the smell in the car." Hyde shrugged and pocketed his hands.

"I don't have a favorite food other than…" he trailed off, "nevermind."

"No, other than what?" Jackie asked with a genuine look of curiosity on her face. Hyde raked a hand through his hair.

"I dunno. I just like what I eat. I don't care about the "exotic value" of a food. Obviously, if necessary I'd eat insects as they have an incredible amount of protein; it's the main food source of millions in tribes and third world countries. There are so many things surrounding us that we could sustain ourselves with but our capitalist economy won't subjugate itself to such a simplistic lifestyle. Based on all the consumption in the world we're all going to be obese in twenty years and the government wants us that way." Hyde looked up from his nonchalant gaze at his hands and met Jackie's incredulous stare. "What?"

"That is disgusting!" Jackie cried; Hyde winced at her shrill voice.

"Well you wouldn't think it's disgusting if you hadn't eaten for a month. You can live off your own urine to keep hydrated. It's incredible what the body can handle. But… if I had to choose a favorite food to appease you… I guess I'd say Mrs. Forman's."

Jackie looked a cross between horrified and like he had saved her life.

"What?" He asked again.

"I haven't ever heard you say so much. But you have to have a favorite food." She countered. Hyde grimaced and pulled his lighter from his pocket.

"Well between school food Edna made, The Hub, and Mrs. Forman's cooking, I'd choose option C. Unlike you, I haven't had world cuisine opportunities. I went to the Vineyard once, well… twice. I only had stolen chicken and the other time I didn't have a chance to eat anything but their bread and salad." Jackie looked at him pitifully. "Don't do that."

"Well, you'll like the Sizzler. It has a lot of food; I mean it's not high quality dining but it's decent." Hyde scoffed and shrugged his shoulders.

"The color blue is okay, by the way." He mumbled and regretted it instantly when Jackie beamed.

"My favorite animals are unicorns. What're yours?"

"They don't exist,."

"So?! But unicorns with wings are my favorite. And I think your favorite animal is a lion." Hyde just continued to look forward as they pulled into the parking lot of Sizzler.

As soon as she turned off the car he exited without a word; his hands were pocketed as he ventured toward the restaurant. Suddenly he wasn't feeling so sure about this and was questioning why he had even agreed in the first place. Right, because he felt bad for Jackie.

Since when did he start feeling bad for Jackie?

He jerked when feeling something, more like someone, grab his arm, and the raven-haired girl looked surprised at his tense reaction. Against his better judgment, he relaxed and opened the door for both of them. They were silent as they waited to be seated. The hostess smiled at them and led them immediately to a table for two; Hyde grimaced yet said nothing as he pulled out Jackie's chair.

He hated the way that waitress smiled adoringly at the two of them.

"Thank you," Jackie finally said, breaking the mutual silence between them. Hyde simply shrugged and picked up one of the menus.

As he read through it, he felt a sudden realization that he really had no clue what he was doing here. He never had a good association with restaurants, and ordering something meant he had a preference. He just didn't care; he'd leave it up to Jackie, he supposed. It would be better that way.

Jackie caught his less than ambiguous expression and smiled a little.

"What looks good to you?" She asked, hoping to strike up some conversation. Hyde shrugged his shoulders and skimmed through the items again.

"Um... I dunno," he answered truthfully yet said it in a way that caused the green and blue-eyed girl to roll her eyes and go back to her menu. "What's... what's good here?" He finally asked yet regretted it when seeing her near Cheshire cat beam.

"Well, my daddy really likes the ribs and steak here," Jackie chirped; Hyde nodded slowly and turned the menu around to look at the drinks. He could really go for some beer right now. "But I usually get their salmon, because I don't eat red meat."

Hyde couldn't help but laugh. Jackie furrowed her eyebrows at him and looked slightly hurt at his sudden mirth. He bit back his chuckles and looked at her with eyes full of amusement.

"What's so funny?" She seemed to bark yet kept her eyes locked on his, as if she were surprised to see emotion behind them. He was pretty sure this was one of the few times she had seen him without his shades; suddenly he was regretting that decision. He could feel them burning in his pocket, along with his cigarettes.

"You don't eat red meat but you live in Wisconsin... how does that even happen?" he asked. Then again, what he had eaten before he lived with the Forman's probably couldn't even be considered meat at all...

"Red meat supposedly isn't healthy for you, and I'm not putting anything unhealthy in my body!" she replied emphatically. Hyde was slightly surprised at this yet said nothing as he gave a slow nod.

The conversation was dropped as their waitress came around and asked what they wanted to drink and to place their orders. Jackie ordered tea, Hyde just decided to go with water. She told him he could order whatever, yet he didn't see why a beverage choice was a big deal; besides, he couldn't get what he really wanted, anyway.

They fell into silence once again as they waited for their food to be brought out. Jackie had gotten the salmon, like she had said, and Hyde decided to go with the steak. It sounded good to him, anyway. He could do without Jackie's smug smile, however.

"So..." Jackie said, bringing Hyde out of his reverie. He looked up and raised his eyebrows slightly.

"So..." she smiled at his response; he didn't understand why.

"Question game?"

"No." Her laugh wasn't what he had expected yet it was better than her whining or kicking him. Considering that, he realized she was like a young child trapped in a teenager's body. That's what happened when people were spoiled, he figured.

"Can I ask you a question?" He gave her an unamused look and she sighed, "no, not like the game..." he looked down at the table, and she took the break in gaze as her cue. "Why do you call your mom Edna?"

Hyde played with the straw in his glass and watched the ice follow the path in the water. They made a quiet tinkling sound against the glass and gleamed from the dim lights above them. He stilled the straw and watched as the water and ice continued to twirl, slowly, following only the laws of physics and its purpose.

He didn't know what to say so he said nothing as he kept his hard gaze on his glass. He felt as if his bare eyes could possibly break the cup and he figured that wouldn't be too much of a surprise. Being telekinetic would be pretty awesome, honestly. He'd prefer invisibility, but telekinesis would be better than no superpower at all.

Since when did he want superpowers?

"Steven?" Jackie pressed. He remained silent still yet broke his look from the ice and looked up at Jackie. He was met with a truly curious look in her eyes and for a moment he saw something else, something he couldn't understand. Why would he see that in her eyes?

He shook his head of his thoughts and shrugged his shoulders as he coughed quietly in his sleeve.

"Always have," he replied nonchalantly as he swirled the straw once more. Jackie shook her head, however, and he suddenly felt cornered.

"Not when I met her, you called her 'ma'," Hyde rested his cheek on his hand as he turned the straw in the opposite direction, causing dissonance in the cup.

"That was to her face," he answered simply, "in reference I've always called her Edna."

"But why not..." she trailed off, seeming a little timid to pursue the issue.

Hyde looked out the window and sighed heavily before opening his mouth to speak. However, his saving grace was the waitress bringing their food to them, with her too-wide smile and overly peppy voice. It grated on his eardrums as he murmured a quiet, numb "thanks".

The issue was dropped and Jackie tried to bring it back up but she knew the moment was lost. So, she instead resorted to small talk. Yet Hyde hated small talk so silence was her only companion. He didn't understand the concept; why waste breath on meaningless discussion to fill the awkward space between people who never really talked or cared to talk to each other. Why waste breath at all?

After lunch he opened his wallet to pay yet Jackie took the check before he could even read the amount. He gave a sour look as he stared out the window.

"I said I'd pay, remember?" He did, in fact, remember. He just didn't know how right it felt to make her uphold that end of the bargain. Although that was the original reason he came along; what was his reason, now? He honestly didn't have one. Once they left the restaurant and walked toward the mall, where Jackie had decided she wanted to go next, she turned to him and ran a hand through her curly hair as she stopped walking, "I'm sorry if I said anything to make you mad," Hyde scoffed at her genuine tone.

"I'm not mad," he replied coolly, she sighed softly and nodded, unsure of what to say. So he said what he couldn't say by giving her a gentle squeeze on the shoulder and walking forward. She smiled at that, and walked with an extra bounce in her step.

The mall was full of people and suddenly Hyde felt rather uncomfortable. He wasn't one for large crowds, unless they were at concerts, and with all of the commercialism shoved down his throat he felt on edge. Yet Jackie kept a gentle hold on his jacket and seemed to take lead as she walked through the mall quietly.

"Where would you like to go?" She asked; Hyde gave her a look, to which she actually laughed at. "Well, I want to get a new outfit, and I need a couple of new winter boots, so..." she led him to a woman's store, one he wasn't quite aware of the name yet recognized it as soon as he entered. He wondered if she had done this on purpose.

Being in this environment seemed to make her feel better, he realized, as he watched her excitedly look through the clothes and hold up various sweaters and blouses. She even thought to ask his opinion a couple of times, he simply shrugged, so she decided to gather them all and try them on. Unluckily for him, he was to be witness to her modeling and tell her what he thought.

Honestly, his only thought would be 'I don't care' but he figured he could just lie and say they all made her look good. Or bad, he wasn't quite sure yet.

Until she stepped out wearing a layered gray and black long sleeved shirt, that clung to her in all the right ways. Jackie examined herself in the mirror, smiled, then spun around to ask his opinion. By that time the initial shock had disappeared and he was left with a smirk on his face.

"What...? Does it look bad?" She asked as she caught his expression. He shrugged his shoulders and she groaned in annoyance. "You are hopeless!" She exclaimed in aggravation as she folded her arms, accentuating the curve in her chest that he hadn't quite noticed had grown significantly even since prom.

Thankfully she didn't catch his staring, because he averted his eyes to behind her, at the mirror as it showed the reflection of the fitting room doors.

"Nah," he replied simply, she raised her eyebrows and smiled a little at his first actual response to her choices. "That one's okay."

"So okay to you is like... gorgeous to me?" she asked, Hyde remained silent as he continued to stare at that spot in the mirror.

Jackie ended up getting that shirt, along with a pair of jeans, which slightly shocked Hyde even more considering he wasn't sure if she owned a pair of pants, and made him carry the bag. He scowled as he walked through the mall and caught the lovey dovey eyes sent their way as various women passed by them. It made him highly uncomfortable, but Jackie seemed to be glowing.

"This is like when we went to prom together. Remember?" Hyde gave a single nod; how could he forget? "We went to the mall, I saw your house for the first time... that night was like the best night of my life. Most of it at least, up until the end." This peaked his interest; the end was where he left, where she danced with...

Right, Kelso.

"Ahh," he said shortly, "yeah I remember."

"Where did you go after... the jerk... talked to me?" Hyde shrugged his shoulders and coughed into his sleeve once more.

"I uh, went home, I think. I don't remember." He did remember, he just really preferred not to recount any memories with Pam Macy. The thought made him shudder inwardly. Jackie didn't notice his discomfort however.

"Yeah, and then you kicked me out of your house."

"I didn't kick you out, I-"

"Right, _carried_ me out," she rephrased, and Hyde sighed heavily; that's not what he meant, "and I was just trying to thank you."

Hyde couldn't help but laugh. Apparently, Red was right. Women could pull the simplest memories from the back of the mind as perfect arsenal. He grimaced.

"Right... but _my dearest mother_," he used the term to spite Jackie, "woke up and I didn't want you around for that."

"Why not?" Jackie asked. Hyde groaned in annoyance and slapped his forehead with the palm of his hand.

"Does _'your mom is Gross Edna?!'_ ring any bells?" He asked, as if that explained everything. Jackie's pointed look told him that was not an acceptable answer.

This was too much work.

"'Cause Edna's a bitch when she's high, well... actually she was more tolerable, but... anyway," he said when he received a sympathetic look from Jackie, "think of Edna as one of the skeletons in my closet."

"You're embarrassed of her..." Hyde scoffed; that was cute. The fact that Jackie actually thought he was embarrassed of his bloodline... well, that was true. But that's not why he didn't want her or anyone else near their house when Edna still bummed around; it was out of protection. But he'd never say that. "What other skeletons are in your closet?" She pushed as they walked into the shoe store. Hyde shook his head and walked alongside her as she browsed winter boots and various heels.

They were not getting into that discussion; Hyde wouldn't allow it. Ever. With anyone. Besides, he didn't know so much about her; then again it wasn't difficult to understand her family situation: Rich dad, gold digger mom. Dad doesn't love mom, mom ends up pregnant with unwanted baby. Baby is spoiled rotten and love is bought from money rather than true affection. Dad's gone a lot, mom's an alcoholic.

"Huh," Hyde said to himself as he thought this over. Take the rich and gold digger parents and switch them with a bum and an alcoholic whore mixed with violent tendencies to vent the anger of having said neglected child and... Hyde shook his head; Jackie was nothing like him. She was shallow, two-faced, annoying as hell, arrogant, stuck-up, selfish...

"Steven," her piercing voice broke him from his thoughts. He looked down at her from his comfortable leaning position against the shoe rack and tilted his head slightly. "You have a hole in your boot."

"So?" He asked; he had these boots for years now. They were the only shoes he really had, from his uncle. Except he had long outgrown them and they cut through his socks, to create blisters on his heel and sides of his feet; not that it mattered, half the time at the Forman's he was barefoot anyway.

"You can't have a hole in your boot, here..." she trailed off, dragging him to the chair and forced him into it. She knelt down and pulled at one of his boots, yet struggled to get it off. "These are way too small!" Jackie exclaimed, wringing her hand from the apparent pain of her struggle. Hyde scoffed; it didn't matter.

"So?" He asked again. Jackie groaned and disappeared for a moment. He looked down at his boots and shrugged; they were worn and did have a hole in them, which was kind of a surprise considering they were boots, after all, but it didn't phase him. His belongings always ended up that way, anyway.

"Try these on!" Hyde would have jumped in alarm had he not seen her suddenly appear out of nowhere. He gave her a look as he kicked off his boots and stuffed his feet in the light brown boots she handed him. He shrugged; not bad. It didn't matter though. "How do they feel?" She asked, kneeling once more.

"Okay...?" He replied; there wasn't a lot to say. He didn't even understand why she was doing this. His boots were his boots and it wasn't a big deal.

"They're a little too loose on the toe, maybe an eleven and a half..." she ran quickly and Hyde looked after her incredulously.

"What..." he trailed off, unsure of what to even say, so he shook his head and picked up the boots hid uncle had given him. He'd had these for nearly four years now, and at that point they had been much too big; he'd never given a thought to check out the size; apparently they were a nine. Huh; apparently that mattered.

Jackie returned once more and he switched the boots just to appease her. Except when he put them on he couldn't believe how comfortable they were; it didn't hurt to walk. Jackie saw his astonished expression and grinned.

"You like them?" She asked giddily, Hyde shrugged his shoulders.

"They're alright," he replied, but he knew that was a severe understatement; the raven-haired girl knew this as well.

"Well, at least they're not causing your feet to bleed, right?" She said, compromising as she reached his reasoning.

"I guess."

"You don't have much to say, do you?" She asked finally, looking up at him with mild interest. Hyde sighed and shrugged his shoulders.

"There's a difference between talking just to talk and actually saying something, I don't see the point in talking unless I'm saying something."

"What do you mean?" Jackie asked him; he smirked as he just proved his point.

"Exactly."

"What?!" She cried, clawing at her head. He couldn't help but smile as he took off the boots and switched them for his ratty old pair. Suddenly he realized how right she was, although he wouldn't admit it. Shoes were a first world necessity, he didn't need the comfort of a perfect fit; except the potential to not feel like his feet were being cut off was there, and suddenly he preferred that option. Selfishness... he shook his head as Jackie disappeared once more.

She brought up several boxes of shoes and set them on the counter. After the total was up to nearly $80 she handed over a $100 dollar bill and took the change excitedly. Hyde started to leave the store yet Jackie grabbed his arm.

"Wait!" She chirruped, handing him a box. He looked at her curiously, then... "surprise!" She opened the box and Hyde closed his eyes as his heart crashed painfully into his stomach. Suddenly he saw kindness and selflessness and... no, that was not Jackie.

"You bought those?" He asked in a softer voice. Jackie nodded and smiled excitedly at him as she pushed the box toward him. Hyde sighed heavily, sadly, and found himself at a loss of words; that was ironic.

"Yeah, and we're not leaving 'til you put them on!" She said happily. He figured the least he could do was do as she said, for the time being, and quickly switched his shoes. If his feet could talk they would be thanking him, and her, profusely.

As they walked out of the store, Hyde fought off his better judgment and took hold of her wrist. Jackie turned around with a surprised look on her face yet smiled when seeing the sincerity in his eyes.

"Jackie..." he trailed off quietly, "thank you."

* * *

Hyde didn't know how they ended up here. Actually, he did, but it had been so completely random that he truly wondered how Jackie's train of thought functioned for awhile. He decided it was best he never tried to comprehend what went through her mind and the rate at which it did because it would simply be enough to make him implode; granted, she would say the same about him.

He found himself standing in a pet shop across the mall. Somehow it came up in conversation that Jackie wanted a pet; he didn't remember how she rambled to that conclusion, but this was am apparent necessity, so she dragged him to said pet shop and was currently looking between various cats.

Jackie had looked at the birds for awhile, but figured they would be too loud, Hyde laughed at that, so she decided a cat would be best for her. So she had occupied an hour of their time playing with and holding different cats. She looked really happy, though, and Hyde figured that was better than her moping.

He had stepped out for a cigarette after awhile yet that had been about twenty minutes ago. He wasn't too big on cats so he wandered aimlessly around the store. Pets weren't really his thing, but he knew Eric had always wanted a lizard so he looked at the different reptiles they had. Hyde smirked as he came across a large snake; Forman would really appreciate that, he figured with a chuckle.

His wandering led him to a glass door that he looked at for a moment, shrugged, then opened. He glanced back momentarily, saw Jackie holding a small kitten, and stepped through. Hyde walked in the room that was oddly quiet, considering it was in the midst of a pet store, and he almost felt it would be for employees except he saw the various empty cages. Unless... he wrinkled his face at that and walked ahead a little more.

Hyde gawked as he realized he stepped into Kelso-heaven. Dogs were everywhere, running around, playing, eating, sleeping, and he took a step back. A yip was heard and he glanced down and grimaced. A puppy, that was probably about four months old, scratched at his leg and he sighed heavily. It was a shepherd of some sort, not German, it didn't look like Ringo he thought with a pang of a reminder, yet it reminded him of one of his aunt's dogs. The puppy's tongue poked out from its mouth and Hyde found himself bending down and picking it up.

He instantly regretted it because the dog was incredibly soft and warm. He didn't like things like that... except, damn it, the dog was adorable, he thought with a deepening scowl. Hyde scratched behind its ears and he was encouraged with a lick to the face.

"Thank you..." he grumbled as the puppy wriggled excitedly in his arms. But the fluffball was too cute for him to be annoyed with as he rubbed its stomach. "Okay, down, boy..." he wasn't sure if it was boy, but it suited the dog, he figured. He set down the puppy and began walking back out.

The sound of scratching followed him and he stopped. Immediately the sound stopped as well and he slowly turned around to find the puppy a couple of feet behind him, wagging its tail.

"No..." he said sternly, but the dog barked and ran up to him excitedly. "You just want someone to play with you, huh?" He finally said as he got down on his knees. The puppy rolled over on its back and kicked its feet as Hyde scratched at his stomach once more. It was a writhing ball of energy and Hyde couldn't help but smile as he saw the tail wag excitedly. "You're a good dog, I don't understand why someone hasn't taken you in already," he said, petting it now and smiling sadly down at the little animal, who looked at him with energetic brown eyes. "Too bad Red doesn't like dogs... Mrs. Formam would take you in, and you'd have a nice home. A big backyard... and you could teach Forman to play fetch..." he trailed off as the puppy climbed up on his leg and sniffed excitedly. The little paws scratched his jeans and he picked up the puppy once more, earning more licks to the face.

"Steven, are you-" he turned around to find Jackie with a little carrier and a bag in her hands. She faltered when seeing him with a puppy and smiled softly. "I didn't know you liked dogs!" He felt his face heat as he gave one final pat to the dog and set it down; he had to look away from those puppy eyes.

"They're okay," he replied with another shrug to the shoulders. Jackie knew better though, she knew she had caught him at a moment of weakness and she had even felt as if she had trespassed on some moment that should have remained unseen. She just gave him a look, however, and smiled knowingly.

"I'd buy it for you," she said, looking at the puppy whining and scratching at him once more. Hyde just looked at her, "if you didn't live with the Forman's." He nodded and petted the puppy one more time before quickly leaving the room, a little more than slightly embarrassed. "You seem like the dog type." she said as they exited the store. Hyde raised an eyebrow. "Did you ever have a dog?"

"Once, he was a German Shepherd." he replied; he really didn't want to talk about Ringo.

"Your mom actually let you?" Hyde couldn't help but laugh as he nodded.

"Believe it or not, Gross Edna was once Not-So-Gross Edna and she let my uncle give me one of his puppies for my birthday..." he trailed off.

"Why don't you still have him?"

"He died," Hyde replied simply, "besides, Red hates animals so even if I still had him I wouldn't be able to keep him." Jackie's face fell as they reached the car.

"I'm sorry... that he died, that must've been really sad." Hyde shrugged his shoulders. What was more sad was how and why he died, and what happened afterward, than the actual death. Besides, he seemed to be surrounded by it, anyway, so it didn't really matter much. "Do you want to see my new cat?" Jackie asked as they reached her father's car. Hyde shrugged; why not? She opened the carrier and pulled out a kitten that was probably about three months old; a calico, mostly white, with orange and black splotches on the fluffy fur. "Her name is Jasmine." Hyde nodded slowly. That name didn't seem fitting, then again he'd probably name the thing Shut Up, but he kept that to himself.

Jackie put Jasmine back in her kennel and set her in the backseat. She was surprisingly quiet, which Hyde did not mind at all as he sat in the passenger seat. Jackie closed the door and put the keys in the ignition.

"Hyde, those boots look really nice on you." Jackie said suddenly; Hyde looked at her, he hadn't expected her to call him 'Hyde'.

"You know Jackie, you buying me boots was just wrong, shoulda let me shoplift them." He replied, unsure of what to say. He had said his thanks once before, he didn't want her fishing for another one.

"No Hyde, I want you to have them. Besides, I'm saving a fortune now that I don't have to feed and clothe Michael." She seemed excited by this, and Hyde considered her words before shrugging and nodding.

"Well, if you insist."

"I do!" She chirruped excitedly, then settled her hand on his knee. He looked at it warily. She smiled at him as she leaned a little closer with a smile on her face, "so I was thinking tomorrow night we should you know-"

"Whoa, whoa, whoa... okay, alright, c'mon now Jackie. This was a one time only thing alright?" Hyde said; that's what this had been, right? He felt bad, like he had during prom, and so he once again catered to her whining and begging. Only it hadn't turned out so bad, until... now, he figured. "And if you're trying to bribe me with these boots you can just take them back." He added a little harshly. He watched her face fell and she retracted slightly.

"I see..." Jackie trailed off, her lower lip trembled as she pulled away and turned to look out the windshield.

"Oh what are you going to do now, cry?" He teased, hoping to get her to smile. He really didn't want her to cry. He hated tears because they worked on him every damn time, especially hers. Yet he saw her eyes glitter as tears welled that she was willing so hard not to fall and his own heart thudded painfully. He had never seen so much disappointment and hurt on someone's face and it was all because of him

No. No, that wasn't true. It was because of Kelso. If Kelso hadn't cheated on Jackie then he wouldn't be in this situation, making her feel bad. Except, a part of him felt this would happen, anyway, so it was at least partially his fault. Her trembling lip and averted eyes only made him feel so much worse. Because she didn't deserve to have this day ruined because of a misunderstanding; it hadn't been that bad, he figured. Plus she was extremely vulnerable right now, in a few days she would be back to her normal bitchy self and willing away this moment.

"Oh man, you're crying..." He watched as she turned her cheek and he sighed heavily. He could do this, just get her to stop crying, and they'd be much better off. He scooted closer to her and put an arm on her shoulders, squeezing softly as he turned her face to look at him. Her eyes remained lowered as she forced the tears not to fall. When she blinked, they fell down her face heavily, and he felt that sinking pit grow deeper. "Hey, Jackie... c'mon, it's gonna be fine, okay?" He reassured her gently, trying his hardest to express his sincerity in his voice. He wiped a tear from her cheek and heard her sniffle as he tucked a lock of her hair behind her ear. He brushed his thumb through her hair as he tried to smile at her. "This whole thing is gonna be fine, alright?" Hyde pushed, silently begging for a simple nod, or a quiet answer. Anything but this deafening silence because he was the one pushing, reaching for her to open up; that's not how he worked.

Hyde's eyes widened as her lips suddenly pressed against his, warm, plump, tasting like strawberry, and his mind shut off against the feeling for a split second. Yet he came to his senses and pulled away quickly; he was not going to be that guy.

"No! Bad Jackie!" He exclaimed, heart beating frantically as he stared wide eyed at her. Her multi-colored eyes looked into his and saw his shock, his fear.

"But Hyde, I thought we agreed that you were alone and I was alone..." she trailed off. He bit his lip and nodded; there was the misunderstanding. This was a date to her. Was this a date? They had never specified. He just thought he was going with her to try to cheer her up, because this entire time he had been trying his hardest to get Kelso caught because...

"Jackie I'm trying to help you out here, so you've gotta just listen to me." Hyde said seriously, grabbing her arm and situating himself so he faced her. She whimpered and looked up at him, "you have to know that you can do better than Kelso." he assured her, honestly, truthfully. She could do so much better than Kelso, hell, she deserved better than him. He wasn't what she would ever want him to be, he could never give her what she wanted.

And if she thought Hyde could possibly do that, well she was sorely mistaken. He wasn't that guy.

"But what if I never find anybody else?" She asked feebly, wiping her eyes as she sniffled. Hyde felt his lips pull in a smile as he took her hand in his. This seemed to shock her, as she saw a different side of him that was almost instinct to him, something he didn't even think about.

"Oh you will man, you'll find somebody great." He truly believed she would; she would find someone perfect for her. Point Place wasn't where she should look, however. "See I myself don't like you, I find you abrasive," Her jaw dropped and her eyes narrowed darkly on him, "but if I didn't know you and I'd never talked to you, I'd think you were totally hot." Her gaze softened and she smiled weakly up at him.

"Thank you Hyde." She said softly, graciously. Jackie took a deep breath and looked in the mirror as she fixed her makeup.

"Anything for you doll," he answered truthfully. She turned to him and smiled; she knew that to be true.

Jackie drove around aimlessly as she began to chatter away once again, as if nothing had happened. This time Hyde found himself half listening as he flipped through the radio. If he had to put up with her incessant noise he deserved to hear good music. But he was disgusted in himself when he realized he had tuned out the music rather than her voice.

"-so my cousin decided to buy the green rather than pink but I hate green. It's such a gross color, well it can be pretty. Like lime green or a sage green... but not the green she picked. It was like pea soup and the fact she went out of the house with that dress on... ugh, I was so embarrassed." Hyde nodded slowly and envisioned himself slamming his head on the dashboard until his brains spewed across the new seats. He didn't think that was fair to Jackie to see, however, so he refrained from acting out his innermost wishes.

Jackie turned off the car and Hyde looked out the window. He was shocked to see they were at the reservoir. She grabbed the keys and sat on the hood of the car as she stared at the quiet ripples in the distant lake as the sunset reflected off of the murky water. At that moment it looked crystal clear as the orange and purples danced across the water. Hyde sighed and joined her silently. He laid back and looked up at the sky; he always liked doing that.

They were quiet for awhile, just thinking their own thoughts, and Hyde didn't mind at all. He closed his eyes and listened to their surroundings. The wind blew gently in the surrounding trees, an owl hooted in the distance, but all else was silent. It was nice.

"Hyde?" She asked quietly, he opened his eyes and turned to look at her. He was shocked to find she had laid down as well; her arms were bend behind her head to be used as a pillow, and he met her gaze, "why don't you have a girlfriend?" She asked.

He thought for awhile before he shrugged his shoulders. It was a matter of choice, it's not like he didn't get any action.

"No, seriously..." Jackie pressed, turning on her side to look at him. Her eyes locked on his eyes he felt stuck.

"Uh... well..." he trailed off, "I've dated a few chicks but it just... hasn't worked out."

"Why not?" Jackie asked.

"One ended up with my uncle, they're happily in prison now..." Jackie made a face, "one is I think in New York, she wanted me to go with her but..." he trailed off, unable to finish that sentence, "and then I kinda had a thing with Kat Peterson." Jackie just looked at him.

"Why didn't you go to New York?" She asked, Hyde pinched the bridge of his nose and grimaced. He didn't really want to discuss this with her. Except, it looked like he had to.

"I didn't want to leave Point Place," he mumbled. She smiled as if that simple reason was enough explanation for her. Jackie rested her head on her arm as she looked at Hyde and wore the quietest smile he had seen on another human being.

"Do you want a girlfriend?" Hyde shook his head. "Why not?"

"That's not how I roll," he replied with a teasing tone as he smirked. Jackie rolled her eyes yet smiled nonetheless. It was slightly true, however. He honestly didn't imagine ever becoming that close with someone, he liked the physical rather than the emotional aspect of "relationships" and after awhile that's all girls wanted, case and point: Kelso. He didn't want that baggage and he knew he'd probably be the worst boyfriend. He wasn't one for labels, anyway.

"So you're gonna always be alone?" She asked quietly, he shrugged his shoulders. Probably, and he was completely fine with that. "That's just... sad."

"Why?" He asked, Jackie shrugged and looked at him with those doe eyes that could get her anywhere.

"I mean, I look into my future and all I see is me being with someone I love. I always thought it would be Michael but he and I aren't meant to be. I don't know why I keep convincing myself he is, he's hurt me so many times. But I don't want to wake up ten or twenty years from now in a cold bed all by myself. I want to be with my soul mate, someone who really understands me, and get that good morning kiss. I want children, I want a happy family... something that I can look back on when I'm old and dying and just... say that my life was something wonderful. Don't you want that, Steven?" So she was back to using his first name.

Hyde remained silent. Then, shook his head.

"No," he replied, "'cause I'm not gonna be around that long." Jackie tilted her head curiously and propped her head up.

"What makes you say that?"

"Live fast, die young, baby..." he said with a smile, yet Jackie looked horror-stricken. "What, you honestly saw a future for me?" He laughed, and he saw her hurt expression when seeing the amusement in his eyes. He really did think it was funny. No one had expected he'd amount to anything in years. He was honestly surprised he wasn't dead now. He was pretty sure others felt the same way.

"Yeah... I did..." Jackie trailed off quietly, as if the wind carried her voice from her. Hyde's laughter died and his smile fell as he caught her expression. She was probably the first to expect so much from him. That shocked him more than her response.

* * *

By nightfall they found themselves pulling in the Forman's driveway. Jackie looked to Hyde as she turned off the car. He gave her a look, then nodded.

"So...?" She trailed off, he shrugged his shoulders.

"Other than a couple of your turns you did pretty well, young grasshopper." He replied, giving her a mocking pat on the head. Jackie stuck out her tongue and opened her door. Hyde stepped out as well and looked at Jackie as she tripped on something. She looked up in alarm and visibly shrank as she caught his smirk.

"Shut up..." she grumbled as she met up with him at the front of the car. He put his arm on her back as he led her to the sliding glass doors and she slugged his side as she caught his grin. "Stop internally laughing at me!" He chuckled.

"I just never thought I'd see perfect Jackie trip on even ground," he teased, pushing open the door and let her in first. She turned around to face him and narrowed her eyes.

"That still makes me perfect, Steven," she huffed, he raised his eyebrows and gave a mocking nod as he leaned against the counter. "I just wanted to say... thank you." Jackie murmured, cheeks a little pink as she looked up at him. He gave her a look.

"For what...?"

"Today, I mean... you really helped open my eyes. And I had a lot of fun," Hyde smiled and shrugged his shoulders as she hugged him tightly. Hesitantly, he wrapped his arms around her and held her almost protectively; he hoped that's how it felt to her, anyway. Although he didn't like her, she didn't deserve what Kelso had put her through and he had always been on the lookout for her. Jackie stood on tip-toes and kissed him chastely on the lips again. This time, he didn't pull away but cut it short; it was enigmatic for her. There was nothing behind it, and he made sure of that. She pulled away shortly and smiled at him; it was a kiss of gratitude, completely innocent, and that's the only reason he didn't stop her.

"You can head on down to the basement, I'll grab us a couple sodas," Jackie smiled and nodded as she practically skipped to the door. Hyde opened the fridge, grabbed a couple bottles of root beer and sighed heavily. Without a second thought, he headed down the stairs.

He was instantly greeted with Jackie's shrill voice as she yelled at Kelso. He took a few steps down, then stopped as he surveyed the scene. It was Kelso, Jackie, and Fez. Great. Just great.

"Hey... what's going on?" He asked Jackie a little warily. She caught his tone and smiled at him, a little too strongly, and met him at the stairs. He handed her the bottle and she took it.

"Nothing, nothing at all." Jackie said happily then looked to the door, "thank you, Hyde, for tonight, it was very special." She murmured, kissing him on the cheek. He smiled and gave a nod as she walked out the door; he fully understood why she left, he would too.

Kelso screamed in shock and disgust as he glared at Hyde, who sighed contentedly, for show, and took a seat on his chair. He raised his bottle to his lips and took a drink before he set it down and smiled smugly at Kelso, who looked devastated, and Fez, who looked dejected.

"Isn't she nice?" he said in a warmer voice than usual; he felt their glares as he put his legs on the table. "Hey, fellas, like my new boots?"

"Ai... she bought him boots!" Fez cried dismally as he threw his hands in the air. Kelso clenched and unclenched his fists as he stared at Hyde with angry eyes. "Now she is Hyde's woman!" Hyde put on his sunglasses and turned to the television.

"No, no, she's not Hyde's woman... she's my woman!" Kelso barked angrily. Hyde turned to face Kelso momentarily, then turned back to the television.

"She's no one's woman," he responded coolly as he grew bored of the conversation. Footsteps pounded down the stairs and he was greeted with the quiet bickering of Donna and Eric. He might as well just go to his room now. His night was officially bleak at best.

"Eric, tell Hyde Jackie's my woman!" Kelso exclaimed frantically. He heard him laugh a little and Donna grumble something about women rights.

"Kelso, you cheated on her with my sister, she is _so_ not your woman," Eric replied in between his chortles. Hyde tried blocking them all out by staring at the television yet it wasn't working. It never worked. "Not that... you can claim a woman," he quickly added when catching Donna's heartless glare.

Kelso cried out in frustration and quickly ran out of the basement. Fez looked between the door and Donna and Eric, shrugged, then sat on the couch. Donna turned to Hyde and smiled a slow grin, one he tried his best to ignore.

"I heard you went out with Jackie," she said, Eric nodded with a smile and Hyde groaned in annoyance.

"She wouldn't leave me alone..." he grumbled, ready to leave the room.

"Did you have fun?" Donna teased. Hyde turned and for a moment he swore she could see his glare. She continued to grin at him, however, and he shrugged his shoulders.

"It was like bowling," Hyde answered simply, no one questioned although he was sure they didn't understand what he meant by that; he meant for that to happen. Hyde stood up to go to his room but caught Eric's guilty look. He furrowed his eyebrows, "what's up with Forman?" He asked Donna, more than the teenager in question. She sighed heavily and gave him a look, one that read "we'll talk later" yet Eric looked at him nervously.

He gave that same nervous laugh he inherited from his mom, although not so... piercing, and smiled at Hyde. The blonde continued to look at him, expecting him to crack at any moment.

"Funny story..." he began, rubbing his knuckles together. He could actually visualize his nervousness as he began to speak. "You know how Kelso was writing a song for Jackie?" Hyde nodded; that obviously didn't work out in his favor. A part of him couldn't help but feel rather smug about that. "Well, I ended up breaking his guitar."

"Okay...?" Hyde said, confused, "and you feel bad about it?" Donna furrowed her eyebrows as she looked curiously at her boyfriend. She didn't get it, either. It was a blessing, Hyde figured; he couldn't even play "Mary Had a Little Lamb" without screwing it up somehow.

"Well, here's where it gets funny. It turns out Kelso had been here practicing." Hyde nodded slowly, then stopped as he glanced to the corner. Realization hit him and his face fell as he saw the missing instrument.

"It was mine," Hyde finished for him. Donna's eyes widened as she turned to her boyfriend with utmost horror on her face. Even Fez cringed before he ran out of the room murmuring something incoherently. "Wasn't it?"

"I swear, I swear I didn't know, I just wanted him to stop and then... he laughed and told me it was mine from the basement and... mine's upstairs." Hyde gave a curt nod.

"Where is it?" Hyde asked quietly, not coldly, in fact his voice had no emotion whatsoever. He was completely calm. Donna looked at him worriedly.

"The Vista Cruiser, I'll..." Eric fumbled for his words before he ran out the stairs to grab what was left of his guitar. Donna took a step forward and looked at Hyde as she searched for something, some clue to understand what was going through his mind.

"Hyde..." he shook his head.

Other than his dog and the boxes from his grandparents, that was the only gift he had ever received from his family. From his grandparents, to be precise. His grandfather had taught him how to play on that guitar, and it was made by him as well. Just... just for him. But it didn't matter; he hadn't had time to play it recently and... he sighed heavily, shakily, and looked at the empty space in the basement. His last memory of his family was gone. The last thing that could tie him to his family name in splinters. How fitting, he thought, as he caught sight of the smashed guitar in Eric's hands. The head and fretboard were separated from the body, which was in multiple pieces. The strings flew every which way and Hyde turned away quickly.

"I'm so sorry, Hyde..." Eric trailed off, unsure what to say. Donna looked between them both as she silently begged him to say something. Hyde looked up and shrugged at his de-facto brother, as if he had been told he spent a couple bucks that ended up being his rather than breaking something so important. But did it really matter. "No, this is like-"

"It's cool," Hyde replied, "just throw it away, whatever, man..." Hyde trailed off, "I'm gonna go finish my book."

"Are you-" he didn't hear the end of his sentence as he entered his room and began playing his Black Sabbath album. He sat on his bed, looked at his book, then sighed heavily as he opened the weathered, stained pages.

After trying to read several pages but unable to comprehend what he skimmed, he tossed the book on his cot and reached under the makeshift bed, pulling out the box from beneath and sighed. His broken guitar didn't matter, just like everything else that was marred with the Hyde name...


End file.
